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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
microcenter employee
()
Date: September 10, 2022 04:39PM
Football Party Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Furman is going to have another party Sunday
> afternoon to watch the Commanders play
> Jacksonville. He said everyone is invited but to
> bring a covered dish or a bag of seeds. No
> freeloaders!
Last year at this time a 32 inch flat screen disappeared off the loading dock. Surveillance video revealed that the device was carried away by roughly 12 squirrels. I am pretty sure it was Furman and some friends. I just wonder how they got power to it.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Engineering Squirrel
()
Date: September 10, 2022 11:11PM
Furman and his friends are very smart when it comes to electricity and has it hooked up in no time. Why do you think they are able to run on electric wires without electrocuting themselves
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Stanley Skunk
()
Date: September 11, 2022 12:23AM
Not just electricity, Furman and his team are experts in just about everything, that’s why he will never be outsmarted by the Russian agents who are out to destroy him.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
I had to leave
()
Date: September 12, 2022 09:46PM
I hung out at Furman’s party until halftime but I was getting too drunk and decided to leave while I could still drive. I heard the strippers didn’t get there until midway through the fourth quarter
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Well Hung squirrel
()
Date: September 12, 2022 10:07PM
I had to leave Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I hung out at Furman’s party until halftime but
> I was getting too drunk and decided to leave while
> I could still drive. I heard the strippers
> didn’t get there until midway through the fourth
> quarter
The strippers were late but it was worth the wait. Stormy Squirrel, the hottest one, gave me a great bj.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Rodent ranger
()
Date: September 15, 2022 04:45PM
Squirrels can travel up to 10 miles a day and I have reason to believe that Furman frequents the W&OD trail. Would that trail get him from the Pan-Am area to downtown Vienna?
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Long Distance
()
Date: September 15, 2022 09:12PM
Forman is actually training for the Marine Corps Marathon and can travel much further than 10 miles a day. I saw him running on the W&OD in Leesburg a week or so ago. He stopped and asked me if there was a McDonald’s right off the trail, but I pointed him to the 7-11 instead so he wouldn’t have to cross traffic
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Lenny Leesburg
()
Date: September 17, 2022 12:43AM
I saw Furman at the Safeway in Leesburg during the summer. He had his running shoes on and was buying a bottle of water. Hydration is very important to Furman
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Teddy Tapawingo
()
Date: September 17, 2022 09:58AM
I saw Furman sprinting down Tapawingo early this morning. He was dressed in a bright orange safety vest and reflective running shoes and carrying a bottle of water. Furman is always thinking about safety
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Furmange
()
Date: September 17, 2022 10:09AM
Teddy Tapawingo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I saw Furman sprinting down Tapawingo early this
> morning. He was dressed in a bright orange safety
> vest and reflective running shoes and carrying a
> bottle of water. Furman is always thinking about
> safety
When Furman gets to chewing on those pot plants that the guy at Providence hall apartments grows on his deck Furman starts running around like he is half crazy so the safety vest is a good idea.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Furman can handle himself
()
Date: September 17, 2022 09:14PM
Furman is not worried about the men at VGH. He can hold his own in a fight and is famous for taking on seven Russian squirrels at the same time and kicking their asses
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Glendon Glen
()
Date: September 17, 2022 10:14PM
Furman can handle himself Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Furman is not worried about the men at VGH. He can
> hold his own in a fight and is famous for taking
> on seven Russian squirrels at the same time and
> kicking their asses
Mike Mattress, Vinnie Vienna and Tommy Tapawingo might be able to overpower Furman and gang plow him.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Early AM Jogger
()
Date: September 18, 2022 08:23AM
This morning I saw Furman jogging around the PanAm parking lot. There were three squirrels jogging behind him. They looked like Secret Service squirrels because they had sunglasses on and were wearing earpieces
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Vienna Inner
()
Date: September 20, 2022 08:16PM
Furman was at Vienna Inn this afternoon, having some chili dogs and fries. I bought him a Budweiser too but he said he would only have one because he was driving.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Are you sure?
()
Date: September 21, 2022 08:22PM
Vienna Vice Mayor Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> He had more than one drink, because he is
> currently passed out on the sidewalk in front of
> the Vienna Inn.
That doesn’t sound like Furman to get drunk in the middle of the afternoon Maybe he got hit by a car.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Greg Grasshopper
()
Date: September 21, 2022 09:31PM
Are you sure? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Vienna Vice Mayor Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > He had more than one drink, because he is
> > currently passed out on the sidewalk in front
> of
> > the Vienna Inn.
>
>
> That doesn’t sound like Furman to get drunk in
> the middle of the afternoon Maybe he got hit by a
> car.
Furmans been drinking a lot lately, anytime of day, he might need to start attending AA meetings.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Mistaken Identity
()
Date: September 21, 2022 10:44PM
I think you may have seen Furman’s cousin, Bushytail. They are hard to tell apart , but Bushy is a complete derelict. He also watches porn all day and plays with his nuts
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Safeway Shopper
()
Date: September 29, 2022 07:27PM
Tonight as I was leaving Safeway with a cart full of groceries I saw Furman. He offered to help me load my car if I gave him a piece of fried chicken. I took him up on his offer because I bought a lot of groceries
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Drumstick Dirk
()
Date: September 29, 2022 09:38PM
Safeway Shopper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tonight as I was leaving Safeway with a cart full
> of groceries I saw Furman. He offered to help me
> load my car if I gave him a piece of fried
> chicken. I took him up on his offer because I
> bought a lot of groceries
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Microcenter Sighting
()
Date: October 01, 2022 11:41PM
I saw Furman leaving Microcenter with several memory cards. Apparently they were for his camera so he could take more surveillance photos of those no good Russian squirrels
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Rainy Days
()
Date: October 02, 2022 09:56AM
I just got home from a trip to Safeway to stock up on beer for the football game. Saw Furman walking across the parking lot with an umbrella. He doesn’t like getting his fur wet because it becomes matted. I rolled a can of Old Milwaukee over to him and he picked it up, threw it under his arm and ran off, chattering happily. I swear I saw him do a Heisman pose with it before he disappeared into the woods
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Convict Cat burgler
()
Date: October 05, 2022 11:30PM
Was it Bushytail? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Furman has been on the wagon for six months now.
> Are you sure it wasn’t Bushytail, his cousin?
> What a derelict
It couldn’t have been Bushytail, because he is back in prison at Allenwood rodent top security facility.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane
()
Date: October 06, 2022 10:46PM
In the slam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just got out yesterday. Bushytail was released
> earlier this week on good behavior and told me he
> was heading back to Virginia and going on a
> rampage
Thanks for the heads up. We will be on high alert.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Had an accomplice
()
Date: October 07, 2022 08:27PM
Bushytail had an accomplice in the carjacking, a large chipmunk with nuts in his mouth, who goaded Bushytail into this dastardly deed. Fortunately they were stopped by the state police in a roadblock and are in jail tonight facing multiple charges. With Bushytail record he will be facing hard time.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Lonnie Lice
()
Date: October 13, 2022 10:46PM
Lucky 7’s Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I saw Furman standing outside the 7-11 today,
> scratching some lottery tickets with an acorn. He
> won $5 and was going to buy some seeds with it
He ain’t spending that $5 on no seeds. He will collect a little more and go to the ABC store and by some Jack Black
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Flatulence
()
Date: October 13, 2022 11:30PM
I saw Furman at the 7-11 too. As he stood outside the store, checking his lottery tickets, he lifted up his hind leg and let loose an enormous fart. It smelled so bad I almost gagged and he didn’t even pardon himself. Rude!
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Pancho Villa
()
Date: October 13, 2022 11:46PM
Flatulence Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I saw Furman at the 7-11 too. As he stood outside
> the store, checking his lottery tickets, he lifted
> up his hind leg and let loose an enormous fart. It
> smelled so bad I almost gagged and he didn’t
> even pardon himself. Rude!
Damn, that means he’s been eating at Tippys Taco again.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Robbie Rabbit
()
Date: October 17, 2022 07:53AM
What’s the occasion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is it someone’s birthday? We need to know to
> dress and if we need to bring a gift
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Dan in the white van
()
Date: October 22, 2022 12:28PM
I saw Furman at PanAm about an hour ago he was looking a little rough but was hapily munching on a slice of pizza near the tombstones. Maybe he has trained one of the Domino's employees to feed him.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Winter is on the way
()
Date: October 23, 2022 01:35PM
Furman has been getting fucked up a lot lately. He saved a pot plant that he got off the balcony at the apartments. Between chewing on weed and drinking booze he is losing weight. The other squirrels are gathering acorns and nuts for the winter. If Furman does not get to work this week he may starve this winter. Maybe the guy who is obssesd with black seeds will drop off a bag of seeds to help Furman out.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Furman.
()
Date: October 23, 2022 08:35PM
Listen up pot smoke black seeds are what we squirrels like the best , give us the choice of black sunflower seeds bird seeds and peanuts and we will go to town on the black seeds every time, don't blow weed smoke my way my pal Hip Hog is the one who lives for it, he stays on welfare too. Im a blue collar hardhat working squirrel who only drinks Pabst now if I can find it, your mistaking me with Pimping Squirrel again
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
King of Squirrels
()
Date: October 23, 2022 08:42PM
Furman. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Listen up pot smoke black seeds are what we
> squirrels like the best , give us the choice of
> black sunflower seeds bird seeds and peanuts and
> we will go to town on the black seeds every time,
> don't blow weed smoke my way my pal Hip Hog is the
> one who lives for it, he stays on welfare too. Im
> a blue collar hardhat working squirrel who only
> drinks Pabst now if I can find it, your mistaking
> me with Pimping Squirrel again
You sir are an imposter. Furman would never drink that Pabst snake piss. Only Budweiser, the king of beers, for Furman.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Furman is chilling
()
Date: October 26, 2022 07:13AM
Furman got a room at the best western in Fairfax. He is using the free Wi-Fi to order a few bags of Purina squirrel chow for the winter. Furman is far too busy to be gathering acorns and shit. Furman got a upstairs room facing the woods for like three nights. It looks like he is having some friends over in the evening.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Hotel fees
()
Date: October 26, 2022 04:04PM
Furman is chilling Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Furman got a room at the best western in Fairfax.
> He is using the free Wi-Fi to order a few bags of
> Purina squirrel chow for the winter. Furman is far
> too busy to be gathering acorns and shit. Furman
> got a upstairs room facing the woods for like
> three nights. It looks like he is having some
> friends over in the evening.
I wonder if Furman will be able to use the toilet in his room? If he shit and pisses on the floor they will tack on a 100 dollar room cleaning fee to Furmans Amex card.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Hotel spillage
()
Date: October 26, 2022 05:15PM
Hotel fees Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Furman is chilling Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Furman got a room at the best western in
> Fairfax.
> > He is using the free Wi-Fi to order a few bags
> of
> > Purina squirrel chow for the winter. Furman is
> far
> > too busy to be gathering acorns and shit.
> Furman
> > got a upstairs room facing the woods for like
> > three nights. It looks like he is having some
> > friends over in the evening.
>
> I wonder if Furman will be able to use the toilet
> in his room? If he shit and pisses on the floor
> they will tack on a 100 dollar room cleaning fee
> to Furmans Amex card.
This is a good question. With him drinking that Bud he will have to piss a lot.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Alive and Well
()
Date: October 26, 2022 08:38PM
Rumors of Furman’s ill health are unfounded. He just completed a 10k sprint up and down Tapawingo and stopped at each lap to do push-ups. He is in great shape
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Dr. Marcus Welby Woodchuck
()
Date: October 27, 2022 05:33AM
Alive and Well Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Rumors of Furman’s ill health are unfounded. He
> just completed a 10k sprint up and down Tapawingo
> and stopped at each lap to do push-ups. He is in
> great shape
As Furmans physician I can tell you that Furman is not in good shape. He has numerous health issues that I can’t go into detail about because of patient-Doctor confidentiality. Who you saw running on Tapawingo was his look-alike cousin, Richard Simmons Squirrel.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Bullshit!
()
Date: October 27, 2022 09:00PM
Stop lying about Furman! You’re no doctor. You’re one of those Russian squirrels planting propaganda and trying to steal our elections. Furman is strong!
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Dr Marcus Welby Woodchuck
()
Date: October 27, 2022 10:01PM
Bullshit! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Stop lying about Furman! You’re no doctor.
> You’re one of those Russian squirrels planting
> propaganda and trying to steal our elections.
> Furman is strong!
I am a Doctor. I got my medical
degree from Rodent Health Memorial Hospital. I am really concerned with Furmans health. His years of eating McDonalds food has paid a toll on his health.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Nurse Nutsack
()
Date: October 30, 2022 01:47AM
Update. The Dr. Has Furman on several medications to control his blood pressure and cholesterol and putting him on a healthy diet, he should be back in good shape soon.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Medical Science
()
Date: October 30, 2022 11:49PM
After consulting a specialist, Furman has been told dietand exercise is all he needs to get back in tip top shape. He has been running up and down Tapawingo for the past week to get in shape
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Boris Secret Agent
()
Date: October 31, 2022 06:59AM
Medical Science Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> After consulting a specialist, Furman has been
> told dietand exercise is all he needs to get back
> in tip top shape. He has been running up and down
> Tapawingo for the past week to get in shape
Thanks for telling us where rodent runs, comrade. We can finally finish him off. I kill him, Putin will promote me.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
nutz
()
Date: October 31, 2022 03:28PM
Medical Science Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> After consulting a specialist, Furman has been
> told dietand exercise is all he needs to get back
> in tip top shape. He has been running up and down
> Tapawingo for the past week to get in shape
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
groundskeeper
()
Date: November 06, 2022 02:58PM
microcenter employee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Football Party Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Furman is going to have another party Sunday
> > afternoon to watch the Commanders play
> > Jacksonville. He said everyone is invited but
> to
> > bring a covered dish or a bag of seeds. No
> > freeloaders!
>
> Last year at this time a 32 inch flat screen
> disappeared off the loading dock. Surveillance
> video revealed that the device was carried away by
> roughly 12 squirrels. I am pretty sure it was
> Furman and some friends. I just wonder how they
> got power to it.
Now that some of the leaves are gone I spotted a good sized solar panel high in the trees behind Providence hall apts. Furman probably has a battery and a inverter rigged up to run that TV.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Ace reporter Earl Earthworm
()
Date: November 24, 2022 06:47PM
Furman had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Him and his buddies had a nice meal in the woods consisting of stuff he took yesterday from Safeway. They had Roast Turkey, Mashed potatoes, corn, Kings Hawaiian rolls and pumpkin pie.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Furmans press secretary
()
Date: December 12, 2022 06:24AM
Providence hall maintenance man Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is Furman planning another big super bowl party
> this winter?
Furman hasn’t decided yet. If he has a Christmas party he probably won’t have a Super Bowl party, but he is considering forgoing the Christmas party and only having a Super Bowl party. When a decision is made we will let you know.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Artemus the groundhog
()
Date: December 27, 2022 10:03PM
Last minute announcement, Furman will be having a New Year’s Eve party this Saturday night starting at 10pm behind micro center. Food and drinks provided. Everyone is invited except the Russian agents.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Boris Killemoff
()
Date: December 28, 2022 01:07AM
U.N.C.L.E.guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tell us more about these Russian agents.
I am too Russian agent. I will tell you myself. We are an elite unit of Russian special agents, commissioned by comrade Putin to kill
Your capitalist pig secret agent, comrade Furman.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Sandy Beavers.
()
Date: January 14, 2023 04:07AM
Looks like Furman is having a wild card weekend party starting today at noon. He booked two connecting rooms at the Fairfax Best Western. Last year he partied in the woods and it was kind of cold and wet. This is a big upgrade.
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by:
Warren Weasel
()
Date: January 14, 2023 05:31AM
Sandy Beavers. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Looks like Furman is having a wild card weekend
> party starting today at noon. He booked two
> connecting rooms at the Fairfax Best Western. Last
> year he partied in the woods and it was kind of
> cold and wet. This is a big upgrade.
Thanks for the update, Sandy. Is Furman providing the refreshments or is it BYO?