Brown Onion Wrote:
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> You walk in the movies with your date holding your
> hand. You've been waiting awhile for this lady in
> question to join you, as she dazzles you with her
> red dress, permed hair, and a look that says she's
> a lot younger than she is. You pop a cialis,
> hoping that night will work out as expected.
>
> Walking the theater, some hopeless useless meth
> ridden addict takes your tickets, and tells you
> which one you want to go in. Unfortunately your
> date smells the lingering aromas of popcorn,
> candies, and sodas that are the anti Christ of all
> things bowel friendly. You forget those woes
> those, as your brain with balls is thinking, and
> you order popcorn, nachos and cheese. The illegal
> wetback rings you up, and you are on your way to
> the Hershey Highway.
>
> Halfway through the movie, after some time necking
> and kissing, you feel the discouraging rumble in
> your belly. Oh yes that food is growing into a
> terrible mess, and you start sweating, wondering
> if your date smells the aromas from those God
> awful farts your colon produces. While they could
> be useful with a lighter to light up the aisle,
> this is not the time for that, and you make up an
> excuse about your long bathroom trip.
>
> There as she enjoys the great scenes you are on
> the groan throne. Other patrons taunt you with
> snide remarks about "what died in there?" and "Can
> you let me use the toilet?" Its irritating, and
> you hope that you wiped it all up, even though it
> feels like your asshole has fallen out.
>
> You get home, forgetting the screams, and make out
> in the driveway. There to your horror, your pants
> fall down with brown underwear. Apparently there
> were some entrails of the faux cheese you consumed
> earlier. You aren't going to get laid, in fact
> more likely than not your lady is going to leave
> you right there calling you a disgusting pig.
>
> For those with properly working bowels, feel
> encouraged you can take this one stresser off of
> your list of dating.
Outstanding story Brown. You are truly a artist.
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