dont eat at CAFE TAJ in MClean if you value your toilet lol, that place gave me norovirus so i aint going back! i am telling everyone and putting it on yelp!!

BarneyR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dont eat at CAFE TAJ in MClean if you value your
> toilet lol, that place gave me norovirus so i aint
> going back! i am telling everyone and putting it
> on yelp!!


But its amazing, you got a woman even with bowel problems. That's a 2 for 2.

lol i see you saw my other post. i dont shit where i eat if you know what i mean. and i no longer eat at places (or with people) who make me shit like that! insanity!

BarneyR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> lol i see you saw my other post. i dont shit
> where i eat if you know what i mean. and i no
> longer eat at places (or with people) who make me
> shit like that! insanity!


Ok I feel you and I am sorry your bowels are bad. Yet remember there's a glimmer of brown in the sky, as long as your bowels are normal, they'll go back to their proper alignment soon.

I had Ledo's meat lover pizza and a six pack of good beer for dinner. Going to bed soon. May God have mercy on my bowels.
Attachments:

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I had Ledo's meat lover pizza and a six pack of
> good beer for dinner. Going to bed soon. May God
> have mercy on my bowels.


Dive! Defcon 1! Defcon 1! I hope somehow your bowels are able to handle this forward assault, as that is well, you probably will know soon enough. Beer shits are bad enough, throw a pizza in the mix, is your groan throne under home warranty still?

Best luck!

Went to bed at 8 pm last night. Now I am up at 3 am and shitting. Hope to get another 2 hours of sleep and get to work on time. The Ledos and Sam Adams have got me down but not out.

Dive keep your spirits up you'll do just fine. Goulash

I've been watching a lot of Wolf Blitzer lately recovering from a distorted colon.

He strikes me as someone with IBS, and while I hope his bowels are better than mine that have been savaged by unusually large Boulder sized shits, does the CNN newsroom have a groan throne and other necessities for this poor man?

Wolf Blitzer could. He's a communist liberal asshole.
Attachments:

Wolf Shitzer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wolf Blitzer could. He's a communist liberal
> asshole.


Now now, this isn't a partisan issue as bowel issues affect voters in red and blue states. The brown can affect all, including people on the news who's colons have been irritated by non bowel friendly fare.

Now to drop off a Cadillac. Bringing in the midwives.

Haven't posted for awhile...just thought I'd let you sufferers know that a granny smith apple with my lunch kept me regular today. Hope the Caddy exited the showroom with minimal discomfort, BO.

Deadly that's a bowel friendly food, but hope the old lady didn't pop out your rectum.

That was sort of a false alarm. While a leviathan sized for most, that was more of a small Toyota. It was actually relieving compared to the normal blood curling screams.

Glad to hear it went better than expected, BO. May your groan throne luck continue!

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive keep your spirits up you'll do just fine.
> Goulash


Thanks Brown. I made it through the work day with only 7 trips to the can, 5 of which were on the 3rd floor away from my office partners. Just having some grilled turkey breast and yellow rice tonight.

How are you doing Brown?

5am guy checking in here.

I saw this here article that may bring a brown tear to yer eye. A 4 year old with bowel disease gets to meet some superheros.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3291830/Superhero-fan-four-rare-bowel-disease-spends-day-heroes.html

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Glad to hear it went better than expected, BO.
> May your groan throne luck continue!


Thank you Deadly. It was a rough time with twisted intestines, but after the medical smocks and clothespins were taken off, a success. May your bowels continue to be lofty!

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dive keep your spirits up you'll do just fine.
> > Goulash
>
>
> Thanks Brown. I made it through the work day with
> only 7 trips to the can, 5 of which were on the
> 3rd floor away from my office partners. Just
> having some grilled turkey breast and yellow rice
> tonight.
>
> How are you doing Brown?


That's not bad Dive. Have you been able to keep your brown house off the market still?

That is actually pretty good, and hoping you can avoid those insensitive coworkers. This is going to be a rough day on the groan throne. It sucks when you have to have lunch while on it, but it is what it is.

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5am guy checking in here.
>
> I saw this here article that may bring a brown
> tear to yer eye. A 4 year old with bowel disease
> gets to meet some superheros.
>
> http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3291830/Su
> perhero-fan-four-rare-bowel-disease-spends-day-her
> oes.html


God bless this young man, and these superheroes. I'm sad to hear of this affliction, as its new to me, but I pray this young man gets the help that allows him to live a long life.

And these superheroes truly are that. They rock the brown and then some. Thank you for such a beautiful inspiring article, its nice to have good news for once.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Dive keep your spirits up you'll do just
> fine.
> > > Goulash
> >
> >
> > Thanks Brown. I made it through the work day
> with
> > only 7 trips to the can, 5 of which were on the
> > 3rd floor away from my office partners. Just
> > having some grilled turkey breast and yellow
> rice
> > tonight.
> >
> > How are you doing Brown?
>
>
> That's not bad Dive. Have you been able to keep
> your brown house off the market still?
>
> That is actually pretty good, and hoping you can
> avoid those insensitive coworkers. This is going
> to be a rough day on the groan throne. It sucks
> when you have to have lunch while on it, but it is
> what it is.

Yeah the house is off the market.

Found a plunger under my desk today. I think our building engineer is trying to be funny. Guess he is tired of plunging my poops.

Yes Dive Bomber,

If he only knew of your bowel woes, perhaps he'd be kind enough to happily plunge away. Or at least have the courtesy to leave a note, and give you the opportunity to discuss this with him. He sounds like an asshole unfortunately.

I'm glad to hear you can use your home groan throne again. At least that brings some comfort during the fits of sweating and teeth gnashing

5 am guy checkin in again. Sometimes during the long and lonely nights at work 5am guy turns to scripture for comfort. I found this little prayer about bowels.



"Blessed is he who has formed man in wisdom and created in him many orifices and cavities. It is fully known before the Throne of Thy glory that if one of them should be improperly opened or one of them closed it would be impossible for a man to stand before Thee."

anyone tried brushing ?

http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=A4aWD-G173-

http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=Uo496-G373-

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5 am guy checkin in again. Sometimes during the
> long and lonely nights at work 5am guy turns to
> scripture for comfort. I found this little prayer
> about bowels.
>
>
>
> "Blessed is he who has formed man in wisdom and
> created in him many orifices and cavities. It is
> fully known before the Throne of Thy glory that if
> one of them should be improperly opened or one of
> them closed it would be impossible for a man to
> stand before Thee."


That is beautiful. Amen 5 am guy.

btry65 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> anyone tried brushing ?
>
> http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=A4aWD-G173-
>
> http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=Uo496-G373-


These links are down 65. I have never heard of anal brushing, but my guess is its a bad idea out of an abundance of caution. The human rectum is full of bacteria, and plus bowels are not some sort of playground, that's meant to be played with. Instead its supposed to be an exit only, and while some of of suffer from excrutiating bowel movements, why mess it up if you have perfect bowels?

http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=Uo496-G373-

ptry65s Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=Uo496-G373-


The page states oops link not found. How are your bowels?

Yesterday a kind person suggested writing about non friendly bowel restaurants in Fairfax. These are all my opinion, based upon personal experience. I promise to review one from time to time, but in the interest of all, let's start with the worst offender.

You walk in the door, after parking your car in their parking lot. The orange tables, the sombrero's, and all things Mexican including a wetback illegal tied to the wall as a decoration, let's you know you are in a place of ambiance and authenticity. There is a lady at the front, one in the back cooking, and you are sure by the aromas that you are going to have a fantastic meal.

Don't do it. Those Tippy Taco shirts are sharp, but what follows one of their enchilada dinners can be described as a nightmare of epic proportions. Some have reported chunky, or messy shits, but mine have been like huge oversized bowling balls. Even with the AARP card, the discount doesn't count for the nearly one hour baking time of this consumed product.

Usually digestion takes about 33 hours or so, but with this establishment, its a lot more fast than that. Their hot sauce burns on the way out too, adding to the pain level and the amount of midwives brought in to contend with the pain. Whatever you do, if you have unsavory bowels, don't even think about going in here. Gracias.

Tippys is pretty good. $8 for a meal, no complaints here. Plus buy one get one free.

Tippys fan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tippys is pretty good. $8 for a meal, no
> complaints here. Plus buy one get one free.


You'll pay a lot more in copays than that $8. The cost of a crash team or midwives gets up there in costs, not to mention the cleaning of the groan throne.

These write ups are the exact reason, that I am glad to be retired from the GI field.

Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> These write ups are the exact reason, that I am
> glad to be retired from the GI field.


How's your stinky finger and gigantic class ring these days? I'm so sure your patients miss your condescending attitude, large beefy fingers, and lack of common courtesy. I hope your bowels fall apart.

Meade is this you?
Attachments:

Who's Meade? That picture is disturbing. Wonder if that's our long off the boards friend Gordo. I hope he's okay as he has not posted in a long time.

Off to the groan throne with the heated seat.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Who's Meade? That picture is disturbing. Wonder if
> that's our long off the boards friend Gordo. I
> hope he's okay as he has not posted in a long
> time.
>
> Off to the groan throne with the heated seat.


Meade is a local entertainer whose career is skyrocketing these days.
Here is a recent photo.
Attachments:

Thanks to my ass I got called in my boss's office today. He says the IT dept will be giving me a laptop next week and taking away my desktop computer. He said that I can work from the mens room seeing as how I am spending so much time in there. Fuck my life.

Fu that's one revolting picture. His bowels must be awful. Look at that bloating. No #4 #2 for sure.

Those pictures of Meade Skeleton made me realize that severe chronic acute constipation isn't the worst thing that can happen.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Those pictures of Meade Skeleton made me realize
> that severe chronic acute constipation isn't the
> worst thing that can happen.


How are your bowels BEH? It's nice to have you back.

Yes you could be correct, but what I'm currently brewing could make him part of the Onassis Family.

My butt hurts. Very much so.

I wish my bowels were more cooperative.

It's frustrating and just like MLK I have a dream.

Just one day without crater sized shits pounding my colon to a terrible mess.

That's all.

Prune juice my man. I'm old and it works wonders.

Oldefarte68 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Prune juice my man. I'm old and it works wonders.


I'm old too.. and prune juice gives me sputtering diarrhea.


If only the cure was that easy.

We suffer from conditions that the medical profession can't alleviate.

In addition, we suffer the scorn of our own physicians and their staffs.

Worse than all that , and only slightly less painful than extruding a Greyhound bus sized stool, is all the inane advice.

I hope my IBS pamphlets and Bristol Stool Guide stickers are a success for tonight. Hopefully the trick or treaters will love these.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I hope my IBS pamphlets and Bristol Stool Guide
> stickers are a success for tonight. Hopefully the
> trick or treaters will love these.


Hey Brown, Those kids are not going to be happy with that. When my kids were young they could produce gigantic healthy poops with little or no effort. I know you mean well and God bless you for it but I still think you ought to tape a couple fun size 3 Musketeers bars to each pamphlet.
Who knows though, maybe a pamphlet tossed into a drawer could someday find it's way into the hands of someone who really needs it.

You could be correct dive. In fact I think you are, yet would castor oil be an okay substitute for non bowel friendly foods such as candy bars?

I just hope not to be giving out candies and this information on the groan throne

Exlax looks and tastes like milk chocolate and removes bowel woes. BO could hand those out instead.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I hope my IBS pamphlets and Bristol Stool Guide
> stickers are a success for tonight. Hopefully the
> trick or treaters will love these.

Are you on the sex offender registry?

Glad to see some old posters are back. Hope you guys are doing the best you can

Fuck you BEH Northman. When's the next scat party assholes!!

I have a big box of Reeses pieces bags ready to go and I am carving a pumpkin. My wife had to work today so I have to carve alone. Kind of sad when your kids have grown and gone out on their own but that's life.
Hey Brown, what do you think of Reeses pieces? The nutritional info looks a little rough.

NUTRITION INFORMATION
Kosher Status: OU-D
Serving Size: 51 Pieces
Total Calories 200
Calories from Fat 80
Amount Per Serving %DV *
Total Fat 9g 14%
Saturated Fat 8g 40%
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 0mg 0%
Sodium 45mg 2%
Total Carbohydrate 25g 8%
Dietary Fiber 1g 4%
Sugars 21g
Protein 4g
Vitamin A 0%
Vitamin C 0%
Calcium 0%
Iron 4%

Poopy McGee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Exlax looks and tastes like milk chocolate and
> removes bowel woes. BO could hand those out
> instead.


That's not helpful at all.

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Glad to see some old posters are back. Hope you
> guys are doing the best you can


Your continued bowel buddy is appreciated!

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a big box of Reeses pieces bags ready to go
> and I am carving a pumpkin. My wife had to work
> today so I have to carve alone. Kind of sad when
> your kids have grown and gone out on their own but
> that's life.
> Hey Brown, what do you think of Reeses pieces? The
> nutritional info looks a little rough.
>
> NUTRITION INFORMATION
> Kosher Status: OU-D
> Serving Size: 51 Pieces
> Total Calories 200
> Calories from Fat 80
> Amount Per Serving %DV *
> Total Fat 9g 14%
> Saturated Fat 8g 40%
> Trans Fat 0g
> Cholesterol 0mg 0%
> Sodium 45mg 2%
> Total Carbohydrate 25g 8%
> Dietary Fiber 1g 4%
> Sugars 21g
> Protein 4g
> Vitamin A 0%
> Vitamin C 0%
> Calcium 0%
> Iron 4%
Don't do it Dive. Think of your bowels please!

So far only a few trick or treaters, and I can't believe the ingrates that they are.

The rugrats will feel the fury tomorrow as little Steven and Enrique's bowels squeeze out a leviathan sized shit.

So fine, they don't want the Bristol Stool Guide and IBS pamphlets.

One neighbor asked me "What is wrong with you?"

Its always those with superior bowels, who feel a need to rub the pain right in our face. I inquired about his bowels, and he just sneered walking away, as if he just won the Kentucky Derby. Unreal.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I have a big box of Reeses pieces bags ready to
> go
> > and I am carving a pumpkin. My wife had to work
> > today so I have to carve alone. Kind of sad
> when
> > your kids have grown and gone out on their own
> but
> > that's life.
> > Hey Brown, what do you think of Reeses pieces?
> The
> > nutritional info looks a little rough.
> >
> > NUTRITION INFORMATION
> > Kosher Status: OU-D
> > Serving Size: 51 Pieces
> > Total Calories 200
> > Calories from Fat 80
> > Amount Per Serving %DV *
> > Total Fat 9g 14%
> > Saturated Fat 8g 40%
> > Trans Fat 0g
> > Cholesterol 0mg 0%
> > Sodium 45mg 2%
> > Total Carbohydrate 25g 8%
> > Dietary Fiber 1g 4%
> > Sugars 21g
> > Protein 4g
> > Vitamin A 0%
> > Vitamin C 0%
> > Calcium 0%
> > Iron 4%
> Don't do it Dive. Think of your bowels please!


You are right Brown. We got about 10 trick or treaters so far and there are still 20+ bags of Reeses pieces just sitting there on a chair next to the front door, they seem to be calling out to me. My wife was nice enough to make me a nice salad from wegmans salad bar and I know that is what I should be eating. Oh the temptation!

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > dive bomber Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > I have a big box of Reeses pieces bags ready
> to
> > go
> > > and I am carving a pumpkin. My wife had to
> work
> > > today so I have to carve alone. Kind of sad
> > when
> > > your kids have grown and gone out on their
> own
> > but
> > > that's life.
> > > Hey Brown, what do you think of Reeses
> pieces?
> > The
> > > nutritional info looks a little rough.
> > >
> > > NUTRITION INFORMATION
> > > Kosher Status: OU-D
> > > Serving Size: 51 Pieces
> > > Total Calories 200
> > > Calories from Fat 80
> > > Amount Per Serving %DV *
> > > Total Fat 9g 14%
> > > Saturated Fat 8g 40%
> > > Trans Fat 0g
> > > Cholesterol 0mg 0%
> > > Sodium 45mg 2%
> > > Total Carbohydrate 25g 8%
> > > Dietary Fiber 1g 4%
> > > Sugars 21g
> > > Protein 4g
> > > Vitamin A 0%
> > > Vitamin C 0%
> > > Calcium 0%
> > > Iron 4%
> > Don't do it Dive. Think of your bowels please!
>
>
> You are right Brown. We got about 10 trick or
> treaters so far and there are still 20+ bags of
> Reeses pieces just sitting there on a chair next
> to the front door, they seem to be calling out to
> me. My wife was nice enough to make me a nice
> salad from wegmans salad bar and I know that is
> what I should be eating. Oh the temptation!


Yes the Wegman's salad would be good for your bowels dive bomber. Yet alas this time of year for the bowel trodden, its a nightmare. The little ghosts and goblins with perfect bowels, enjoy eating candies, although a few will understand tomorrow on their groan thrones, a bit of what we go through.

A few more kids came to the door here, and sadly the same results. One kid "Is this some kind of trick?" No, its IBS and info about the stool guide. Seriously, what is wrong with these people and their parents who raise them?

Up early for a bomb dropping. Never did get a bag of Reeses pieces last night. My wife locked them in the trunk of her Subaru and hid the keys somewhere.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Up early for a bomb dropping. Never did get a bag
> of Reeses pieces last night. My wife locked them
> in the trunk of her Subaru and hid the keys
> somewhere.


It's frustrating isn't it? Those sweets and their aromas certainly get your attention, but alas it's probably wise of your wife to do that. That was an act of love as she had your bowels in mind.

A neighbor lady rounded up some pumpkins and says she will be bringing us a homemade pumpkin pie this evening. I wonder if pumpkin pie is hard on the bowels??????

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A neighbor lady rounded up some pumpkins and says
> she will be bringing us a homemade pumpkin pie
> this evening. I wonder if pumpkin pie is hard on
> the bowels??????


That's a great question and I hope someone here can answer that. Goulash is the end result.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > A neighbor lady rounded up some pumpkins and
> says
> > she will be bringing us a homemade pumpkin pie
> > this evening. I wonder if pumpkin pie is hard
> on
> > the bowels??????
>
>
> That's a great question and I hope someone here
> can answer that. Goulash is the end result.


Pumpkin is a fabulous natural remedy for soft stools or diarrhea. Plain canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling), or steamed fresh pumpkin will help harden the stools back up. If pumpkin is not available, cooked squash is a good substitute and can also be a bit more palatable. If you’re noticing a more runny diarrhea or lots of mucous

diet plan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > dive bomber Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > A neighbor lady rounded up some pumpkins and
> > says
> > > she will be bringing us a homemade pumpkin
> pie
> > > this evening. I wonder if pumpkin pie is hard
> > on
> > > the bowels??????
> >
> >
> > That's a great question and I hope someone here
> > can answer that. Goulash is the end result.
>
>
> Pumpkin is a fabulous natural remedy for soft
> stools or diarrhea. Plain canned pumpkin (not
> pumpkin pie filling), or steamed fresh pumpkin
> will help harden the stools back up. If pumpkin is
> not available, cooked squash is a good substitute
> and can also be a bit more palatable. If you’re
> noticing a more runny diarrhea or lots of mucous

Very good info diet plan. You definitely are a bowel buddy, mighty kind of you.

I wonder how community troll Eesh if he has shit problem

I have been watching football and drinking beer all day and have just now cooked up chili dogs. I know its wrong but I an gonna eat 3 of em.

Dive oh my goodness!

Very worried

My butt feels like the Russian aircraft. Exploded in pieces and beyond the repair of the finest caviar.

Called out sick today. My ass feels like a chemistry experiment at wt woodson.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Called out sick today. My ass feels like a
> chemistry experiment at wt woodson.


Hopefully students aren't in your bathroom.

Hope all the sufferers are getting by reasonably well today. Just an update along the lines of what Oldefarte68 has posted recently: had an apple with lunch and 1 hour later a #4#2. Here's to brown solidarity!

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hope all the sufferers are getting by reasonably
> well today. Just an update along the lines of
> what Oldefarte68 has posted recently: had an
> apple with lunch and 1 hour later a #4#2. Here's
> to brown solidarity!


That's fantastic! Well done deadly and here's to the brown bonds never being broken.

The good time I had on sunday was great but the beer and the chili dogs have come back to haunt me. Best brown wishes to all the bowel brothers around the world.

Goulash

Well, my boss really did it. He put me on a laptop so I can work in the shitter. The people in the office are making a huge joke out of it too. Fuck my life.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well, my boss really did it. He put me on a laptop
> so I can work in the shitter. The people in the
> office are making a huge joke out of it too. Fuck
> my life.


Ah dive, the live of us bowel trodden. While I cannot be at your workplace, I can tell you quite often I'm on my computer, watching television, or even eating a television dinner on the groan throne. It does come with the territory, so I hope you can find a brother in bowel there. Who knows, maybe the most productivity will come from the men's room.

Hang in there. Drop one just like you do a memo. Some people just don't get it, and I hope your boss gets fired for being a jerk. Definitely not a friend of the brown.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Well, my boss really did it. He put me on a
> laptop
> > so I can work in the shitter. The people in the
> > office are making a huge joke out of it too.
> Fuck
> > my life.
>
>
> Ah dive, the live of us bowel trodden. While I
> cannot be at your workplace, I can tell you quite
> often I'm on my computer, watching television, or
> even eating a television dinner on the groan
> throne. It does come with the territory, so I hope
> you can find a brother in bowel there. Who knows,
> maybe the most productivity will come from the
> men's room.
>
> Hang in there. Drop one just like you do a memo.
> Some people just don't get it, and I hope your
> boss gets fired for being a jerk. Definitely not a
> friend of the brown.


Thanks, Brown.
You really made me feel better.

Anytime Dive brown solidarity. Never give in or give up even if our bowels betray us.

The heated groan throne seats keep my buttocks warm, but my bowels just got barraged with an Airbus sized shit. It's definitely a war zone, and the doctors from MASH would be fluxxomed by what they see and smell.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The heated groan throne seats keep my buttocks
> warm, but my bowels just got barraged with an
> Airbus sized shit. It's definitely a war zone, and
> the doctors from MASH would be fluxxomed by what
> they see and smell.


How's Woodburn user name Brown Onion?

Fuck off doc. You haven't helped these guys at all. All you do is taunt

Prune juice and squash=perfect.

Oldefarte68 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Prune juice and squash=perfect.


Thank you supporter. He's the lowest life form on earth. How are your bowels?

Olde I have tried prune juice, but alas it's still an ass stretching digging in the tiles experience. You do have me intrigued about squash as I haven't eaten that for years. Do you know how long it takes to process, and do you think my rectum will still look like goulash ?

Matilda my sister is visiting. My bowels are on standby , and hers one has to consider a hazmat suit.

Here I sit
Tablet in hand
Trying to drop
A parcel of land

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Here I sit
> Tablet in hand
> Trying to drop
> A parcel of land


Dive, have you found work productivity going up or down on the groan throne?

I just wrapped up a lunch with my sister Matilda. Her gas despite our bland meals was beyond strong, as my nose hairs burned off. Heck maybe ear hair too.

Anyhow she's lucky she has a fully understanding brother who shares similar bowel woes. I agree with her that we are not looking forward to our asshole brother Clarence visiting us for Thanksgiving.

Yes he's kin but his verbose acidic NY attitude will cause discomfort. With only 2 bathrooms, there might be logistical problems also.

I wrote a letter to Gerry Connolly and hope others will, to have congress sign a bill representing IBS day. Please email or write him as it would help.

You walk into that buffet, after being rung up by some wetback who doesn't speak English, nor understands the basic principles of sanitation. They probably took a shit and didn't properly wash, or if from Pakistan they used their hand to clean out their rectum for their next time with a mountain goat.

The aromas from so many foods catch your attention, the warming lights make these dishes more appealing. Yet be forewarned you are entering the danger zone.

Little snot nose rug rats touch the food, potentially leading to gastrointestinal problems, or far worse you could get some E. coli with that scrumptious dessert. Your bowels will become a gloppy mess, leading to rivers of brown muck or crater sized boulders that pass through a garden hose.

Do you really want your rectum to look like Gadafi in Libya, right before his face was blown off?

When I was driving a tractor traler I once ate at a buffet that gave me the sasquatch shits. I had to hole up at a cheap motel for 3 days. I took every anti shit medication I could find. Thank god my trailer was empty at the time.

toe jamb driver Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I was driving a tractor traler I once ate at
> a buffet that gave me the sasquatch shits. I had
> to hole up at a cheap motel for 3 days. I took
> every anti shit medication I could find. Thank god
> my trailer was empty at the time.


That's horrifying and I'm sorry you endured that. How did your bowels feel afterwards?

A little exercise will help you get your bowels moving.
Attachments:

Charlie Don't Surf Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A little exercise will help you get your bowels
> moving.

My husband has a hard time reaching to wipe. He's always getting his undies poopey. That butt wipe bike could save his tighty whities from unsightly stains.

JnM7X Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Charlie Don't Surf Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > A little exercise will help you get your bowels
> > moving.
>
> My husband has a hard time reaching to wipe. He's
> always getting his undies poopey. That butt wipe
> bike could save his tighty whities from unsightly
> stains.

You aren't alone, and thank you for supporting your husbands bowels. It's a common thing. To the previous person I see a groan throne with something in front of it? I lost my reading glasses, so if you have a clearer image that would be browntastic.

JnM7X Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Charlie Don't Surf Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > A little exercise will help you get your bowels
> > moving.
>
> My husband has a hard time reaching to wipe. He's
> always getting his undies poopey. That butt wipe
> bike could save his tighty whities from unsightly
> stains.

For better or worse . Thank you for upholding wedding vows.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> JnM7X Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Charlie Don't Surf Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > A little exercise will help you get your
> bowels
> > > moving.
> >
> > My husband has a hard time reaching to wipe.
> He's
> > always getting his undies poopey. That butt
> wipe
> > bike could save his tighty whities from
> unsightly
> > stains.
>
> You aren't alone, and thank you for supporting
> your husbands bowels. It's a common thing. To the
> previous person I see a groan throne with
> something in front of it? I lost my reading
> glasses, so if you have a clearer image that would
> be browntastic.

Hello Mister Brown,

Apologies, I can't find a better image of the roll to roll butt wiping pedal throne. I could best compare it to a reel to reel film projector. Fresh paper is mounted on the wall above the wc, used paper is collected in front of the throne. The paper is advanced by bicycle pedals attached to the forward roll, and the paper is passed under the user, hopefully making contact with the anus.
Interesting concept, it would need to be strong paper. Most likely, it would only redistribute the mess.

For healthy movements, I suggest avoiding cheese. It's tough to remove from dishes, what does it do to the bowels?

Hi Mr.Charlie and your comparison is spot on. Plus most bowel paper is uncomfortable, and lousy about picking up various problem areas.

You are correct about cheese. It tastes so good, but it's a huge brick of brown matter once matured in your colon.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You walk into that buffet, after being rung up by
> some wetback who doesn't speak English, nor
> understands the basic principles of sanitation.
> They probably took a shit and didn't properly
> wash, or if from Pakistan they used their hand to
> clean out their rectum for their next time with a
> mountain goat.
>
> The aromas from so many foods catch your
> attention, the warming lights make these dishes
> more appealing. Yet be forewarned you are entering
> the danger zone.
>
> Little snot nose rug rats touch the food,
> potentially leading to gastrointestinal problems,
> or far worse you could get some E. coli with that
> scrumptious dessert. Your bowels will become a
> gloppy mess, leading to rivers of brown muck or
> crater sized boulders that pass through a garden
> hose.
>
> Do you really want your rectum to look like Gadafi
> in Libya, right before his face was blown off?


You know, Brown that reminds me how I stumbled on this thread earlier this year when my wife and I ate way too much food at Captain Georges seafood buffet in Virginia beach. Our decision to eat like hogs resulted in me and the wife taking turns on the groan throne for the remainder of our vacation. I did a google search for bowel problems and there you were! Thanks buddy.

BTW I think next week is the 2 year anniversary of the start of this thread. We should celebrate in some way.

Ee-e-e-oh-mum-oh-weh
Ee-e-e-oh-mum-oh-weh

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
I'm on the groan throne tonight
In the jungle, the quiet jungle
I'm on the groan throne tonight

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh

Near the village, the peaceful village
My screams are heard tonight
Near the village, the quiet village
My starfish is just not right
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > You walk into that buffet, after being rung up
> by
> > some wetback who doesn't speak English, nor
> > understands the basic principles of sanitation.
> > They probably took a shit and didn't properly
> > wash, or if from Pakistan they used their hand
> to
> > clean out their rectum for their next time with
> a
> > mountain goat.
> >
> > The aromas from so many foods catch your
> > attention, the warming lights make these dishes
> > more appealing. Yet be forewarned you are
> entering
> > the danger zone.
> >
> > Little snot nose rug rats touch the food,
> > potentially leading to gastrointestinal
> problems,
> > or far worse you could get some E. coli with
> that
> > scrumptious dessert. Your bowels will become a
> > gloppy mess, leading to rivers of brown muck or
> > crater sized boulders that pass through a
> garden
> > hose.
> >
> > Do you really want your rectum to look like
> Gadafi
> > in Libya, right before his face was blown off?
>
>
> You know, Brown that reminds me how I stumbled on
> this thread earlier this year when my wife and I
> ate way too much food at Captain Georges seafood
> buffet in Virginia beach. Our decision to eat like
> hogs resulted in me and the wife taking turns on
> the groan throne for the remainder of our
> vacation. I did a google search for bowel problems
> and there you were! Thanks buddy.
>
> BTW I think next week is the 2 year anniversary of
> the start of this thread. We should celebrate in
> some way.



Its glad to have the Internet one step away, whether on our groan thrones, in the middle of birthing a large Lincoln log. Wow it has been two years, and if you or others can think of celebration ideas, I'm all bowels

Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ee-e-e-oh-mum-oh-weh
> Ee-e-e-oh-mum-oh-weh
>
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
>
> In the jungle, the mighty jungle
> I'm on the groan throne tonight
> In the jungle, the quiet jungle
> I'm on the groan throne tonight
>
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
>
> Near the village, the peaceful village
> My screams are heard tonight
> Near the village, the quiet village
> My starfish is just not right
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh
> Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh


Well done Mr.Bravo this is brown on!

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > You walk into that buffet, after being rung up
> by
> > some wetback who doesn't speak English, nor
> > understands the basic principles of sanitation.
> > They probably took a shit and didn't properly
> > wash, or if from Pakistan they used their hand
> to
> > clean out their rectum for their next time with
> a
> > mountain goat.
> >
> > The aromas from so many foods catch your
> > attention, the warming lights make these dishes
> > more appealing. Yet be forewarned you are
> entering
> > the danger zone.
> >
> > Little snot nose rug rats touch the food,
> > potentially leading to gastrointestinal
> problems,
> > or far worse you could get some E. coli with
> that
> > scrumptious dessert. Your bowels will become a
> > gloppy mess, leading to rivers of brown muck or
> > crater sized boulders that pass through a
> garden
> > hose.
> >
> > Do you really want your rectum to look like
> Gadafi
> > in Libya, right before his face was blown off?
>
>
> You know, Brown that reminds me how I stumbled on
> this thread earlier this year when my wife and I
> ate way too much food at Captain Georges seafood
> buffet in Virginia beach. Our decision to eat like
> hogs resulted in me and the wife taking turns on
> the groan throne for the remainder of our
> vacation. I did a google search for bowel problems
> and there you were! Thanks buddy.
>
> BTW I think next week is the 2 year anniversary of
> the start of this thread. We should celebrate in
> some way.

User name Dive Bomber,

While I sympathize with your medical concerns, the best option you can take is visit a board certified GI. Unlike the ramblings of user name Brown Onions write ups, you'll actually be helped. The fact that this is high on search engine queries is why I have and will continue to point out medical fact versus psychological behavior here.