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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: September 24, 2015 02:00PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive,
>
> That's so rude and proof, that even those whom
> have superior bowels, don't have guts to sign
> their name.
>
> Was it your boss? I'm wondering how that
> discussion about your bowels went.
We have not had that talk yet. My boss is a couple years away from retirement and it seems like he is just trying to do his last couple years on cruise control. He rarely speaks to me so I am thinking it is best to keep things that way. I have noticed he is in and out of the stall in a flash so I guess he has roto-rooter like bowels while mine are more like a slow moving shower drain in a cheap motel bowels.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive,
>
> That's so rude and proof, that even those whom
> have superior bowels, don't have guts to sign
> their name.
>
> Was it your boss? I'm wondering how that
> discussion about your bowels went.
We have not had that talk yet. My boss is a couple years away from retirement and it seems like he is just trying to do his last couple years on cruise control. He rarely speaks to me so I am thinking it is best to keep things that way. I have noticed he is in and out of the stall in a flash so I guess he has roto-rooter like bowels while mine are more like a slow moving shower drain in a cheap motel bowels.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Old Farte 68
()
Date: September 24, 2015 02:31PM
Mostly just the store ones from CVS provide relief. Yet I saw what you wrote about aging and agree.
Prune juice tastes disgusting but it does kick start things off. I try to drink it once in the morning. Quickly of course.
Prune juice tastes disgusting but it does kick start things off. I try to drink it once in the morning. Quickly of course.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Miscavage
()
Date: September 24, 2015 02:58PM
Prune juice is nasty as fuck
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: September 24, 2015 03:31PM
Old Farte 68 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mostly just the store ones from CVS provide
> relief. Yet I saw what you wrote about aging and
> agree.
>
> Prune juice tastes disgusting but it does kick
> start things off. I try to drink it once in the
> morning. Quickly of course.
User name Old Fart 68,
Prune juice can be effective at speeding up the digestive process, but the only scientific manner is to make an appointment with a board certified GI
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mostly just the store ones from CVS provide
> relief. Yet I saw what you wrote about aging and
> agree.
>
> Prune juice tastes disgusting but it does kick
> start things off. I try to drink it once in the
> morning. Quickly of course.
User name Old Fart 68,
Prune juice can be effective at speeding up the digestive process, but the only scientific manner is to make an appointment with a board certified GI
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Ethiopian
()
Date: September 24, 2015 05:52PM
Wheat or wheat?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
bakker
()
Date: September 24, 2015 07:34PM
Ethiopian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wheat or wheat?
Yes.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wheat or wheat?
Yes.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Ethiopian
()
Date: September 24, 2015 07:49PM
bakker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ethiopian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Wheat or wheat?
>
>
Yes.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a plate on his head?
A nail.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ethiopian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Wheat or wheat?
>
>
Yes.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a plate on his head?
A nail.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: September 25, 2015 05:53AM
Off to the hospital. It appears my intestines have twisted again due to a blockage
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sIiced onion
()
Date: September 25, 2015 10:20AM
Will pray for you BO.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Wally Joyner
()
Date: September 25, 2015 12:45PM
You guys are still menstruating over this shit? People have heart problems, cancer and yet you bitch about taking a crap. Grow some fucking balls you twits!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: September 25, 2015 05:15PM
Wally Joyner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You guys are still menstruating over this shit?
> People have heart problems, cancer and yet you
> bitch about taking a crap. Grow some fucking balls
> you twits!
User name Wally Joyner,
I agree with your sentiments, but please use less expletives to discuss such matters.
I am glad at a professional level that Brown Onion is under the care of a board certified GI. Also less stupidity perhaps.
-------------------------------------------------------
> You guys are still menstruating over this shit?
> People have heart problems, cancer and yet you
> bitch about taking a crap. Grow some fucking balls
> you twits!
User name Wally Joyner,
I agree with your sentiments, but please use less expletives to discuss such matters.
I am glad at a professional level that Brown Onion is under the care of a board certified GI. Also less stupidity perhaps.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
OldeFarte68
()
Date: September 25, 2015 07:59PM
Prune juice worked its magic today. A very cleansing bowel movement.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5am guy
()
Date: September 26, 2015 06:44AM
I had a clear building all night, so Swansons. The Mac and cheese, meatloaf really tasted good. I enjoyed having a private stall. What came out was a mess but it was worth it.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Realtor12
()
Date: September 26, 2015 08:47AM
Off to selling houses. Couple of open houses.
No offense gents but hope none of yours are on today's MLS.
No offense gents but hope none of yours are on today's MLS.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
shit taker
()
Date: September 26, 2015 11:00AM
I took two shits already today and I am going to wash my ass.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
nmjty
()
Date: September 26, 2015 11:55AM
I'd b happier just2b able fininsh thiiis1......
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: September 27, 2015 04:28PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Off to the hospital. It appears my intestines have
> twisted again due to a blockage
Please let us know how you are doing when you can Brown. I am worried.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Off to the hospital. It appears my intestines have
> twisted again due to a blockage
Please let us know how you are doing when you can Brown. I am worried.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Oldefarte 68
()
Date: September 27, 2015 07:35PM
Prune juice boys is magic for your craps, trust this old guy
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: September 27, 2015 08:22PM
Hoping for the best BO, and wishing you a speedy recovery.
Rolled the dice this weekend, and had fresh jalapeno slices with my lunch on Saturday. So far, so good; no sign of lava coming out the back door. Wish all the sufferers here had at least a day or two of rectal peace.
Rolled the dice this weekend, and had fresh jalapeno slices with my lunch on Saturday. So far, so good; no sign of lava coming out the back door. Wish all the sufferers here had at least a day or two of rectal peace.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: September 28, 2015 07:29AM
Thank you for the kind brown wishes everyone. You are all very kind.
Going to rest today as I'm home. My sister Matilda and my asshole brother Clarence are helping out.
Any intestines I can buy on eBay?
Going to rest today as I'm home. My sister Matilda and my asshole brother Clarence are helping out.
Any intestines I can buy on eBay?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Diced Onion
()
Date: September 28, 2015 08:25AM
Feel better Brown!
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
OldeFarte68
()
Date: September 28, 2015 11:02AM
You youngsters ever try castor oil?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: September 28, 2015 11:39AM
It's been a rough day. My brother Clarence is bitching about his New York Jets, and Matilda is having bowel problems. My guess is my midwives and plumber will be over again. Clarence should be happy. Your football team losing is nothing to whine about when compared to the last few days, or Matilda's fat ass yelling as if she is giving birth.
The hospital visit was successful. I'm shocked but one GI nurse was quite pleasant, and didn't wear a biohazard suit or even a clothes pin on her nose. She treated me as a human, and despite my intestinal woes I'm still happy by that.
Yet I don't like her terminology. "Have you evacuated your bowels?" Did it run away? Did you empty your bladder? I know the scanning was necessary but how about "have you taken a piss or crapped?"
Now to see if my last shit is being displayed at the Smithsonian.
The hospital visit was successful. I'm shocked but one GI nurse was quite pleasant, and didn't wear a biohazard suit or even a clothes pin on her nose. She treated me as a human, and despite my intestinal woes I'm still happy by that.
Yet I don't like her terminology. "Have you evacuated your bowels?" Did it run away? Did you empty your bladder? I know the scanning was necessary but how about "have you taken a piss or crapped?"
Now to see if my last shit is being displayed at the Smithsonian.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Miscavage
()
Date: September 28, 2015 12:45PM
I'm glad you are ok Brown. Missed your posts.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Black Underwear
()
Date: September 28, 2015 01:04PM
Fuck you BEH!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: September 28, 2015 07:34PM
Black Underwear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fuck you BEH!
I miss BEH and hope his bowels are well.
At the same time mine feel as if they've been hit by a freight train.
If BEH or anyone here can take care of removing my pain in the ass brother away, please do so,
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fuck you BEH!
I miss BEH and hope his bowels are well.
At the same time mine feel as if they've been hit by a freight train.
If BEH or anyone here can take care of removing my pain in the ass brother away, please do so,
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: September 28, 2015 07:52PM
For you Brown.
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5 am guy
()
Date: September 29, 2015 04:53AM
No offense diver but that seems kind of gay.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: September 29, 2015 01:33PM
Ah 5 am it's the thought that counts, thank you dive bomber, as the back door has been completely gutted.
The hospital pumped me full of Willy Wonka concoctions, and for once I can understand the saggy brown shoes of our MIA brother in bowel Gordo.
There are no boulders, but rather a smelly brown River, with lots of dead flies near the groan throne.
Matilda has helped a lot, but hearing Clarence bitch about his NY Jets, the demise of Yogi Berra, and how he missed seeing Pope Francis in Manhattan.
My brothers lack of sympathy, the clothes pins on his nose, and eating what's left of the pantry is getting old.
The hospital pumped me full of Willy Wonka concoctions, and for once I can understand the saggy brown shoes of our MIA brother in bowel Gordo.
There are no boulders, but rather a smelly brown River, with lots of dead flies near the groan throne.
Matilda has helped a lot, but hearing Clarence bitch about his NY Jets, the demise of Yogi Berra, and how he missed seeing Pope Francis in Manhattan.
My brothers lack of sympathy, the clothes pins on his nose, and eating what's left of the pantry is getting old.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
GI nurse
()
Date: September 29, 2015 02:27PM
You were given medications that will clear you out, as your system was flushed. This should in ideal circumstances, last only a few days after you are discharged. Good luck and success on your recovery.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Realtor12
()
Date: September 29, 2015 04:39PM
Sold another house. No offense people but glad none had poop issues.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: September 29, 2015 07:15PM
GI nurse Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You were given medications that will clear you
> out, as your system was flushed. This should in
> ideal circumstances, last only a few days after
> you are discharged. Good luck and success on your
> recovery.
User name GI Nurse,
While your information and intentions are good, this individual and some psychopaths on these write ups, need to get mental health treatment and/or be confined to a correctional type of facility.
-------------------------------------------------------
> You were given medications that will clear you
> out, as your system was flushed. This should in
> ideal circumstances, last only a few days after
> you are discharged. Good luck and success on your
> recovery.
User name GI Nurse,
While your information and intentions are good, this individual and some psychopaths on these write ups, need to get mental health treatment and/or be confined to a correctional type of facility.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: September 30, 2015 09:26AM
Geez if I didn't have enough problems. Anon dick and my brother Clarence are a lot alike, brash, insensitive, and full of sociopathic traits towards those of us with less than exemplary bowels.
I was woken up this morning to Clarence walking up and down the hallway, complaining about odors, his fucked up family, and how he wants to be in NY. Well go right ahead, if I had a heart attack or cancer, perhaps he'd show more sensitivity but instead because its a bowel related matter, it doesn't mean shit to him.
Its unreal what those of us with bowel woes must endure, even from family members.
I was woken up this morning to Clarence walking up and down the hallway, complaining about odors, his fucked up family, and how he wants to be in NY. Well go right ahead, if I had a heart attack or cancer, perhaps he'd show more sensitivity but instead because its a bowel related matter, it doesn't mean shit to him.
Its unreal what those of us with bowel woes must endure, even from family members.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sharing is therapeutic
()
Date: September 30, 2015 10:05AM
I feel you, BO. My spouse thinks lots of false shit about my shits. That I'm hiding in the bathroom just because(why is the door open then? Do you really think I wouldn't like to be doing something else?) Or that I'm exaggerating or making it up(do you really think I like being in here for like an hour sometimes, and delaying my shower? When I just want to finish the movement so I CAN shower) Says crap about my diet(why don't YOU lay off the beer there, diarrhea monster? Are you the pot or the kettle today,haha)
My bowels are generally moody, and I can be as well. Thanks for listening.
My bowels are generally moody, and I can be as well. Thanks for listening.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: September 30, 2015 12:39PM
Sharing,
I'm sorry your own spouse is treating you like a third class citizen at your family stead.
Tis a shame that your bowels have acted up, but she should be more supportive of you. After all marital vows cover ones bowels "in sickness and in health."
Has she withheld romantic nights or caused other problems due to your bowels? Does she wear a clothespin on her nose?
I'm sorry your own spouse is treating you like a third class citizen at your family stead.
Tis a shame that your bowels have acted up, but she should be more supportive of you. After all marital vows cover ones bowels "in sickness and in health."
Has she withheld romantic nights or caused other problems due to your bowels? Does she wear a clothespin on her nose?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: September 30, 2015 12:44PM
BO, feel free to share if you have even a brief respite (and normal bowels) between the brown river and the potential return of the cinder blocks. Hope you have at least one day of normalcy.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: September 30, 2015 01:21PM
Hi Deadly, how are your bowels?
Mine appear to be churning brown butter like a broken dryer right now.
The Hershey River is moving to an 84 lumberyard. The wood plus heavy equipment will soon render my starfish to misery beyond comprehension.
Mine appear to be churning brown butter like a broken dryer right now.
The Hershey River is moving to an 84 lumberyard. The wood plus heavy equipment will soon render my starfish to misery beyond comprehension.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: September 30, 2015 02:04PM
BO,
Bowels are fine (thanks for asking)...wish I could clone them and send them to you and the other sufferers here. Seems no matter what I eat, the #2s range from 3 to 5, with the vast majority a 4.
Bowels are fine (thanks for asking)...wish I could clone them and send them to you and the other sufferers here. Seems no matter what I eat, the #2s range from 3 to 5, with the vast majority a 4.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: September 30, 2015 02:19PM
Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BO,
>
> Bowels are fine (thanks for asking)...wish I could
> clone them and send them to you and the other
> sufferers here. Seems no matter what I eat, the
> #2s range from 3 to 5, with the vast majority a 4.
User name Deadly Combo,
Please stic to proper IBS forums.
-------------------------------------------------------
> BO,
>
> Bowels are fine (thanks for asking)...wish I could
> clone them and send them to you and the other
> sufferers here. Seems no matter what I eat, the
> #2s range from 3 to 5, with the vast majority a 4.
User name Deadly Combo,
Please stic to proper IBS forums.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: September 30, 2015 03:23PM
Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deadly combo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > BO,
> >
> > Bowels are fine (thanks for asking)...wish I
> could
> > clone them and send them to you and the other
> > sufferers here. Seems no matter what I eat,
> the
> > #2s range from 3 to 5, with the vast majority a
> 4.
>
>
> User name Deadly Combo,
>
> Please stic to proper IBS forums.
Feel free to recommend some and post their links.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deadly combo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > BO,
> >
> > Bowels are fine (thanks for asking)...wish I
> could
> > clone them and send them to you and the other
> > sufferers here. Seems no matter what I eat,
> the
> > #2s range from 3 to 5, with the vast majority a
> 4.
>
>
> User name Deadly Combo,
>
> Please stic to proper IBS forums.
Feel free to recommend some and post their links.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Jhonny Bravo
()
Date: October 01, 2015 04:02AM
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk
I got to take a duump: no time to talk
Gott find a groan throne clean and warm, I've been kicked around
Since I was born
And now it's all right, it's OK
And you may look the other way
We can try to understand
The groan throne's effect on a man
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
You're taking a dump, taking a dump
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'
And we're taking a dump, taking a dump
Ah, ha, ha, ha, taking a dump, taking a dump
Ah, ha, ha, ha, taking a dump.............................................
I got to take a duump: no time to talk
Gott find a groan throne clean and warm, I've been kicked around
Since I was born
And now it's all right, it's OK
And you may look the other way
We can try to understand
The groan throne's effect on a man
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
You're taking a dump, taking a dump
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'
And we're taking a dump, taking a dump
Ah, ha, ha, ha, taking a dump, taking a dump
Ah, ha, ha, ha, taking a dump.............................................
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 01, 2015 06:13AM
Perfect Mr Bravo!
You should get a brown Grammy award
You should get a brown Grammy award
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 01, 2015 10:24AM
Okay the bowling balls out of a garden hose are back. I'm glad Clarence went back to NY. Cleanup on aisle 2!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Ethiopian
()
Date: October 01, 2015 01:04PM
Get some wheat bitches.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 01, 2015 02:13PM
Okay its back to hoisting the big ones out. My rectum looks like goulash, and it doesn't help that my sister Matilda sounds like a herd of wildcats on the groan throne. Her weight doesn't help, nor does that fact that she declines the help of my midwives and crash cart team.
My new rectum mirror is working pretty well. I must say that this one was a bit extra but money well spent. If you have a flexible spending account for medical devices, it might be a good option. I can watch from hole dilation all the way to taking a dump, and then of course afterwards to make sure stitches aren't needed.
My new rectum mirror is working pretty well. I must say that this one was a bit extra but money well spent. If you have a flexible spending account for medical devices, it might be a good option. I can watch from hole dilation all the way to taking a dump, and then of course afterwards to make sure stitches aren't needed.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Oldefarte 68
()
Date: October 01, 2015 04:04PM
You guys have luck with prune or castor oil?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Beh or Northman
()
Date: October 01, 2015 04:14PM
ENOUGH of the shit. This thread sucks. You both are scat loving assholes!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
random anon
()
Date: October 01, 2015 05:27PM
Beh or Northman Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ENOUGH of the shit. This thread sucks. You both
> are scat loving assholes!
If you dislike this thread then feel free to avoid reading it. You could always spend your time enjoying a good cockstretch.
-------------------------------------------------------
> ENOUGH of the shit. This thread sucks. You both
> are scat loving assholes!
If you dislike this thread then feel free to avoid reading it. You could always spend your time enjoying a good cockstretch.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 02, 2015 08:29AM
Ok after crapping out Chris Mercer, my starfish felt agony and profound anger.
It seems the hospital visit helped temporarily, but once again crapping out large objects. Today's 737 will be a 747 later, as the unfortunate brewing process has started up again.
It seems the hospital visit helped temporarily, but once again crapping out large objects. Today's 737 will be a 747 later, as the unfortunate brewing process has started up again.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: October 02, 2015 09:40AM
Oldefarte 68 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You guys have luck with prune or castor oil?
Never tried castor oil but I have tried prunes. The prunes cause the pace of my digestive systen to go into overdrive and takes me from being backed up to having to stay very near the groan throne for hours. Even one single prune has this effect. In short, the cure is worse than the disease.
-------------------------------------------------------
> You guys have luck with prune or castor oil?
Never tried castor oil but I have tried prunes. The prunes cause the pace of my digestive systen to go into overdrive and takes me from being backed up to having to stay very near the groan throne for hours. Even one single prune has this effect. In short, the cure is worse than the disease.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 02, 2015 12:07PM
Dive bomber,
Sorry to hear that. Prune juice just prolongs the inevitable 747.
Sorry to hear that. Prune juice just prolongs the inevitable 747.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Oldefarte68
()
Date: October 02, 2015 01:10PM
Ok that's why the prune juice mixed with 1/2 castor oil. It will aid in your digestion plus the end results.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: October 02, 2015 01:49PM
BO, sorry to hear you're back to "normal." Wishing you and your starfish an easy weekend on the throne.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 03, 2015 04:31AM
Thank you Deadly. How are your bowels?
Remember the Led Zeppelin song "How Many More Times"?
That a groan throne and a non stop disco light through my rectum describe last night
Remember the Led Zeppelin song "How Many More Times"?
That a groan throne and a non stop disco light through my rectum describe last night
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: October 03, 2015 09:08AM
Hi all! Next weekend is a holiday weekend and I have Friday off to make it 4 days! Going camping on a rather remote tract of land in western PA. I have purchased this bad boy to ease the pain of an off grid number2.
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Wally Joyner
()
Date: October 03, 2015 12:53PM
Still crying about shit?
Grow up pussies!
Grow up pussies!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 03, 2015 05:04PM
Dive Bomber,
That's an outstanding outdoor groan throne. Is this another house selling weekend? Any movement on your house or bowels.
If you can imagine a Dinty Moore beef stew can thrown down, well you know.
That's an outstanding outdoor groan throne. Is this another house selling weekend? Any movement on your house or bowels.
If you can imagine a Dinty Moore beef stew can thrown down, well you know.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: October 03, 2015 06:36PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive Bomber,
>
> That's an outstanding outdoor groan throne. Is
> this another house selling weekend? Any movement
> on your house or bowels.
>
> If you can imagine a Dinty Moore beef stew can
> thrown down, well you know.
The House is going off the market till spring. The wife and I like to camp out every Columbus day weekend, we make chili, bannock and roasted game hens over a big campfire. I got the crapper chair to make life easier. We pack out our poop in military style W.A.G. bags. Leaving poop in the back-country is just not fair to other campers that may come along.
How are your bowels Brown?
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive Bomber,
>
> That's an outstanding outdoor groan throne. Is
> this another house selling weekend? Any movement
> on your house or bowels.
>
> If you can imagine a Dinty Moore beef stew can
> thrown down, well you know.
The House is going off the market till spring. The wife and I like to camp out every Columbus day weekend, we make chili, bannock and roasted game hens over a big campfire. I got the crapper chair to make life easier. We pack out our poop in military style W.A.G. bags. Leaving poop in the back-country is just not fair to other campers that may come along.
How are your bowels Brown?
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 03, 2015 07:40PM
Dive Bomber,
Aside from the food choices, I approve of your outdoor pursuits. Years ago, when I was a young lad, and these clean waste bags didn't exist, my rear end was quite strong. Those walks in nature, the observation of wildlife were unimpeded by my bowels.
Now if I went camping, my screaming in the night, would certainly be confused for mating foxes or a coyote attack. Bears would shake and run, knowing full well that another mammal is going through the throes of what can only be described as a bowel buster. Deer and other creatures, who knows even the serpents, would hear my feet stomp and yelling, sweating, and overall cries that would set Henry David Thoreau in his prime seeking for cover.
Is it bad when the skunks wear clothes pins on their noses?
Aside from the food choices, I approve of your outdoor pursuits. Years ago, when I was a young lad, and these clean waste bags didn't exist, my rear end was quite strong. Those walks in nature, the observation of wildlife were unimpeded by my bowels.
Now if I went camping, my screaming in the night, would certainly be confused for mating foxes or a coyote attack. Bears would shake and run, knowing full well that another mammal is going through the throes of what can only be described as a bowel buster. Deer and other creatures, who knows even the serpents, would hear my feet stomp and yelling, sweating, and overall cries that would set Henry David Thoreau in his prime seeking for cover.
Is it bad when the skunks wear clothes pins on their noses?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5 am guy
()
Date: October 04, 2015 04:41AM
Not working tonight but I tend to keep these hours even on my days off. I came across this poem that I thought would bring some brown entertainment to this topic.
It's Poop Jim But Not As We Know It
To boldly poop where no one’s pooped before,
it is the saying we all adore
Yet on Star Trek where do they poop,
which deck for them jumps through
that hoop?
When visiting Klingons feel the need,
where escorted to plant their seed?
And when beaming down to search and go,
“It’s poop Jim but not as we know ”
Says Jim the captain,” I think your’e right,
bones ask the nurse to keep that tight”
But if the Enterprise’s plumbing thumps,
how do the crew take their dumps?
Perhaps in hindsight safe to say, they use
the transporter and save the day
So light years hence, when nature calls,
and number twos call star ship crews
to spend a penny in the stars, a new
convenience built on Mars?
Copyright © 2015 peter holmes
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/poems_by_poet.aspx?ID=61651
It's Poop Jim But Not As We Know It
To boldly poop where no one’s pooped before,
it is the saying we all adore
Yet on Star Trek where do they poop,
which deck for them jumps through
that hoop?
When visiting Klingons feel the need,
where escorted to plant their seed?
And when beaming down to search and go,
“It’s poop Jim but not as we know ”
Says Jim the captain,” I think your’e right,
bones ask the nurse to keep that tight”
But if the Enterprise’s plumbing thumps,
how do the crew take their dumps?
Perhaps in hindsight safe to say, they use
the transporter and save the day
So light years hence, when nature calls,
and number twos call star ship crews
to spend a penny in the stars, a new
convenience built on Mars?
Copyright © 2015 peter holmes
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/poems_by_poet.aspx?ID=61651
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
xitrwe3
()
Date: October 04, 2015 06:46AM
>
> The House is going off the market till spring. The
> wife and I like to camp out every Columbus day
> weekend, we make chili, bannock and roasted game
> hens over a big campfire. I got the crapper chair
> to make life easier. We pack out our poop in
> military style W.A.G. bags. Leaving poop in the
> back-country is just not fair to other campers
> that may come along.
> How are your bowels Brown?
told you it would not sell... nothing is selling until after the elections next year
> The House is going off the market till spring. The
> wife and I like to camp out every Columbus day
> weekend, we make chili, bannock and roasted game
> hens over a big campfire. I got the crapper chair
> to make life easier. We pack out our poop in
> military style W.A.G. bags. Leaving poop in the
> back-country is just not fair to other campers
> that may come along.
> How are your bowels Brown?
told you it would not sell... nothing is selling until after the elections next year
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 04, 2015 07:59AM
5 am that is beautiful. Quite often I've wondered about Vulcan shits while crapping out the Enterprise.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
diced onion
()
Date: October 04, 2015 10:12AM
My bowels have been rough but eating chili cheese dogs from Weenie Beanie. My fault. I think I've used 20 rolls of tp. Messy as hell
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: October 04, 2015 10:18AM
xitrwe3 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > The House is going off the market till spring.
> The
> > wife and I like to camp out every Columbus day
> > weekend, we make chili, bannock and roasted
> game
> > hens over a big campfire. I got the crapper
> chair
> > to make life easier. We pack out our poop in
> > military style W.A.G. bags. Leaving poop in the
> > back-country is just not fair to other campers
> > that may come along.
> > How are your bowels Brown?
>
>
> told you it would not sell... nothing is selling
> until after the elections next year
Yes, you were right. We did get one offer but it was too low, we countered and they walked away. We are in no hurry though just downsizing and selling our empty nest.
-------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > The House is going off the market till spring.
> The
> > wife and I like to camp out every Columbus day
> > weekend, we make chili, bannock and roasted
> game
> > hens over a big campfire. I got the crapper
> chair
> > to make life easier. We pack out our poop in
> > military style W.A.G. bags. Leaving poop in the
> > back-country is just not fair to other campers
> > that may come along.
> > How are your bowels Brown?
>
>
> told you it would not sell... nothing is selling
> until after the elections next year
Yes, you were right. We did get one offer but it was too low, we countered and they walked away. We are in no hurry though just downsizing and selling our empty nest.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
oldefarte68
()
Date: October 04, 2015 02:34PM
Another couple glasses of prune juice were good for the old constitution.
Didn't take much and I like those crisp quick craps that only take one metro section story to read.
Didn't take much and I like those crisp quick craps that only take one metro section story to read.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Realtor12
()
Date: October 04, 2015 02:46PM
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> xitrwe3 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > >
> > > The House is going off the market till
> spring.
> > The
> > > wife and I like to camp out every Columbus
> day
> > > weekend, we make chili, bannock and roasted
> > game
> > > hens over a big campfire. I got the crapper
> > chair
> > > to make life easier. We pack out our poop in
> > > military style W.A.G. bags. Leaving poop in
> the
> > > back-country is just not fair to other
> campers
> > > that may come along.
> > > How are your bowels Brown?
> >
> >
> > told you it would not sell... nothing is
> selling
> > until after the elections next year
>
>
> Yes, you were right. We did get one offer but it
> was too low, we countered and they walked away. We
> are in no hurry though just downsizing and selling
> our empty nest.
Be wary because of interest rates. You might make more then, but keep an eye on this and be prepared to move it as needed.
-------------------------------------------------------
> xitrwe3 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > >
> > > The House is going off the market till
> spring.
> > The
> > > wife and I like to camp out every Columbus
> day
> > > weekend, we make chili, bannock and roasted
> > game
> > > hens over a big campfire. I got the crapper
> > chair
> > > to make life easier. We pack out our poop in
> > > military style W.A.G. bags. Leaving poop in
> the
> > > back-country is just not fair to other
> campers
> > > that may come along.
> > > How are your bowels Brown?
> >
> >
> > told you it would not sell... nothing is
> selling
> > until after the elections next year
>
>
> Yes, you were right. We did get one offer but it
> was too low, we countered and they walked away. We
> are in no hurry though just downsizing and selling
> our empty nest.
Be wary because of interest rates. You might make more then, but keep an eye on this and be prepared to move it as needed.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 04, 2015 04:04PM
Prunes juices and houses. After hours on the groan throne I just shit out a for sale sign with the wooden posts. My asshole burns, the contortions of my poor starfish, it was through sheer determination that my neck veins didn't pop out .
The midwives didn't show up so it wasn't a team effort but sitz bath time.
The midwives didn't show up so it wasn't a team effort but sitz bath time.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Bob Big Boy
()
Date: October 04, 2015 06:59PM
Last shit I took made the history channel. Big brown stinky fucker.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5 am guy
()
Date: October 05, 2015 04:45AM
Halloween is coming and I think these toilet decorations are really cool.
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon doc.
()
Date: October 05, 2015 10:05AM
Inappropriate user name 5 am.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 05, 2015 10:39AM
A look at my rectum through the mirror shows some dilation, but little movement. There are the usual creaks through my intestines as my bowels prepare for another war, and my poor starfish is ready for a purple heart medal. Its a shame it comes to that, but these craps hurt my bottom, and actually hurt the 33 feet of innards that I carry with me always.
Its amazing how a small hole and lining the size of intestines can literally produce a cruise ship just on the blandest of foods.
Its amazing how a small hole and lining the size of intestines can literally produce a cruise ship just on the blandest of foods.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: October 05, 2015 11:54AM
Hang in there brown.
The food I consumed yesterday while watching football was truly reckless. I started off the day with bacon, eggsand those rolledup can bisquits. Lunch was Ledo wings and pizza with sam adams beer and dinner was smoked pork chops, baked potato with 6 more sam adams. I might as well have swallowed a box of shotgun shells. I have visited the 3rd floor mens room 4 times already today. The gas pains I have been experiencing feel as though there is a auto body repair shop air compressor connected to my starfish. I am my own worst enemy.
The food I consumed yesterday while watching football was truly reckless. I started off the day with bacon, eggsand those rolledup can bisquits. Lunch was Ledo wings and pizza with sam adams beer and dinner was smoked pork chops, baked potato with 6 more sam adams. I might as well have swallowed a box of shotgun shells. I have visited the 3rd floor mens room 4 times already today. The gas pains I have been experiencing feel as though there is a auto body repair shop air compressor connected to my starfish. I am my own worst enemy.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 05, 2015 03:16PM
Dive,
I'm still on the groan throne, but I just put on my glasses, while eating some fruits to see if they might help my bowels. Matilda was nice enough to bring this food, but my mirror is showing minimal dilation.
I'm sorry to hear of your woe. It's not your fault it's your bowels have betrayed you. Are your bowels calming down a bit or still flapping in the wind?
I'm still on the groan throne, but I just put on my glasses, while eating some fruits to see if they might help my bowels. Matilda was nice enough to bring this food, but my mirror is showing minimal dilation.
I'm sorry to hear of your woe. It's not your fault it's your bowels have betrayed you. Are your bowels calming down a bit or still flapping in the wind?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
rx3wwe3
()
Date: October 06, 2015 05:11AM
i tried some prune juice and look what happened
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 06, 2015 06:39AM
Very good RX.
Heading to the groan throne now, wish me luck or at least send a life jacket
Heading to the groan throne now, wish me luck or at least send a life jacket
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: October 06, 2015 08:20AM
Good luck brown. My ass is under control now. Thank God my boss was off yesterday. I spent about half the work day in the can yesterday. A lady in the human resources dept made a snyde comment about my numerous trips to the can yesterday. Seems like there is always one or two people in evey department that wants to be up in everyone else's business. She will probably run and tell the boss before the day is over.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
txwzqas
()
Date: October 06, 2015 08:34AM
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 06, 2015 10:41AM
Dive it's a shame our bowels betray us. Others like that lady are quick to judge but little do they know.
Fascinated but avoiding that Whopper. That's a plus if people are learning about their bowels
Fascinated but avoiding that Whopper. That's a plus if people are learning about their bowels
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Hard Wiper
()
Date: October 06, 2015 10:52AM
Greetings fellow brown ribbon committee members. The last few weeks of using medicated wipes has put the acorn cluster around my starfish into full retreat. There is still a 'roid inside my colon, so it will be bombarded with artillery rounds of Preperation H.
The mudslide shits have also receded. Metamucil cookies after my last meal of the day is giving my BM's the good old frieght train effect and helping to void my bowels.
Hope you all have some great BM's this week.
The mudslide shits have also receded. Metamucil cookies after my last meal of the day is giving my BM's the good old frieght train effect and helping to void my bowels.
Hope you all have some great BM's this week.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 06, 2015 12:47PM
Hi hard wiper,
I hope you register on this site, as lots of brothers in bowel, and our allies bowel buddies.
Here's to your brown not being all over the town, and do you have midwives also?
I hope you register on this site, as lots of brothers in bowel, and our allies bowel buddies.
Here's to your brown not being all over the town, and do you have midwives also?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
hot damn
()
Date: October 06, 2015 01:14PM
I anticipate it may be a difficult week, due to a giant pot of homemade chili. It is difficult to stick to just salads with all that spicy yumminess just a few feet away in the kitchen.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Miscavage
()
Date: October 06, 2015 03:22PM
I had some dingle berries earlier. Not pleasant but compared to what you all go through just a reminder to be thankful. Does anyone know the reason for dingle berries?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 07, 2015 07:34AM
It appears I just passed a basketball through my rectum.
Anyone have a sewing set?
Anyone have a sewing set?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Oldefarte68
()
Date: October 07, 2015 12:47PM
Glad to say prune juice broccoli and beans leads to a clean pipe. Minimal wiping also.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Miscavage
()
Date: October 07, 2015 01:22PM
That's a nasty combo.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Fire Rump
()
Date: October 07, 2015 01:28PM
This?
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 07, 2015 06:24PM
That's actually fairly close to my house.
My son's annoying music. He listens to Roses and Guns. A song Mr. Brownstone could definetly describe the lumbering rock that's in my lower intestine.
My son's annoying music. He listens to Roses and Guns. A song Mr. Brownstone could definetly describe the lumbering rock that's in my lower intestine.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5 am guy
()
Date: October 08, 2015 04:51AM
A little brown humor.
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 08, 2015 07:34AM
Very true 5 am and this cartoon couldn't be more timely.
Gearing up to pay for harassment, indifference, and fingers in my rear end at the "doctors" office. Details to follow but I have a feeling this will not be a good time
Gearing up to pay for harassment, indifference, and fingers in my rear end at the "doctors" office. Details to follow but I have a feeling this will not be a good time
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Hard Wiper
()
Date: October 08, 2015 07:41AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi hard wiper,
>
> I hope you register on this site, as lots of
> brothers in bowel, and our allies bowel buddies.
>
> Here's to your brown not being all over the town,
> and do you have midwives also?
Hi Brown!
No midwives, but an occasional HAZMAT team visit. I choose to remain anon due to the last time they had to come. They tented my house like in the movie E.T.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi hard wiper,
>
> I hope you register on this site, as lots of
> brothers in bowel, and our allies bowel buddies.
>
> Here's to your brown not being all over the town,
> and do you have midwives also?
Hi Brown!
No midwives, but an occasional HAZMAT team visit. I choose to remain anon due to the last time they had to come. They tented my house like in the movie E.T.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 08, 2015 07:46AM
Hard Wiper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hi hard wiper,
> >
> > I hope you register on this site, as lots of
> > brothers in bowel, and our allies bowel
> buddies.
> >
> > Here's to your brown not being all over the
> town,
> > and do you have midwives also?
>
>
> Hi Brown!
> No midwives, but an occasional HAZMAT team visit.
> I choose to remain anon due to the last time they
> had to come. They tented my house like in the
> movie E.T.
It's embarrassing isn't it? Do you also have to fork over large amounts of cash, and put it in their gloved hands?
The indifference to your suffering I'm sure makes it even worse.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hi hard wiper,
> >
> > I hope you register on this site, as lots of
> > brothers in bowel, and our allies bowel
> buddies.
> >
> > Here's to your brown not being all over the
> town,
> > and do you have midwives also?
>
>
> Hi Brown!
> No midwives, but an occasional HAZMAT team visit.
> I choose to remain anon due to the last time they
> had to come. They tented my house like in the
> movie E.T.
It's embarrassing isn't it? Do you also have to fork over large amounts of cash, and put it in their gloved hands?
The indifference to your suffering I'm sure makes it even worse.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
clenched fists
()
Date: October 08, 2015 08:18AM
Hey, 5 am guy, I loved your posted comic pic!! :)
The giant of chili that was made on Sunday has finally all been consumed by everybody in my home, including me.
It has been a rough few days. Last night's dinner probably did not help matters, but it was so delicious! Last night we had Alfredo noodles with both spinach and chicken mixed in. Today, I'm drinking an extra cup of coffee, in an effort to speed the end results out a little faster. I have too much to do today to take a whole hour or more in the bathroom.
Good luck today, all my brothers and sisters in brown!!
The giant of chili that was made on Sunday has finally all been consumed by everybody in my home, including me.
It has been a rough few days. Last night's dinner probably did not help matters, but it was so delicious! Last night we had Alfredo noodles with both spinach and chicken mixed in. Today, I'm drinking an extra cup of coffee, in an effort to speed the end results out a little faster. I have too much to do today to take a whole hour or more in the bathroom.
Good luck today, all my brothers and sisters in brown!!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 08, 2015 12:50PM
Clenched Fist,
Thank you for sharing your bowel of woe dilemma brown brother. That's kind of you and I hope your bowels are okay.
Another trip to the doctors office. As usual his thick finger with a class ring, condescending attitude, and clothes pin on the nurses nose. The cold metal table, a sore butt, and an empty wallet are all I have now.
Thank you for sharing your bowel of woe dilemma brown brother. That's kind of you and I hope your bowels are okay.
Another trip to the doctors office. As usual his thick finger with a class ring, condescending attitude, and clothes pin on the nurses nose. The cold metal table, a sore butt, and an empty wallet are all I have now.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: October 08, 2015 02:11PM
Take care brown brothers. Im headed to backwoods PA for the holiday weekend. Will be pooping in a hole in the ground till Monday afternoon.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 08, 2015 04:14PM
Dive Bomber,
Backwoods bowels. Good luck with your bowels and crap good man.
Backwoods bowels. Good luck with your bowels and crap good man.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 08, 2015 07:26PM
I think Meade Skelton literally just passed through my colon. This was one of the worst shits ever. Just painful, untalented, and made me scream through my teeth.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Just in case
()
Date: October 08, 2015 08:11PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think Meade Skelton literally just passed
> through my colon. This was one of the worst shits
> ever. Just painful, untalented, and made me scream
> through my teeth.
I hope you had enough Toilet Paper..
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think Meade Skelton literally just passed
> through my colon. This was one of the worst shits
> ever. Just painful, untalented, and made me scream
> through my teeth.
I hope you had enough Toilet Paper..
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 08, 2015 08:33PM
Just in case Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I think Meade Skelton literally just passed
> > through my colon. This was one of the worst
> shits
> > ever. Just painful, untalented, and made me
> scream
> > through my teeth.
>
>
> I hope you had enough Toilet Paper..
A twelve pack was needed. Now to find some witch hazel in bulk.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I think Meade Skelton literally just passed
> > through my colon. This was one of the worst
> shits
> > ever. Just painful, untalented, and made me
> scream
> > through my teeth.
>
>
> I hope you had enough Toilet Paper..
A twelve pack was needed. Now to find some witch hazel in bulk.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: October 09, 2015 08:56AM
I have this awful rumbling sound from my innards. It's probably from my doctors beefy prodding fingers rooting around my ass looking for truffles