Im in trouble today. #6 #2's and plenty of them. Thinking about going home on sick leave.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Im in trouble today. #6 #2's and plenty of them.
> Thinking about going home on sick leave.


Mushy shits are like mushy peas. Not pleasant all over.

The forum member known as sliced onion passed away Sunday afternoon after a battle with cancer. He asked me to let everyone here know. He was a sucessfull instutional food service designer who designed and /or renovated food service facilities at many colleges,schools, jails and prisons in Virgina, North Carolina and Georiga. He was also my brother and I miss him very much.

Thank you all.

friend of sliced onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The forum member known as sliced onion passed away
> Sunday afternoon after a battle with cancer. He
> asked me to let everyone here know. He was a
> sucessfull instutional food service designer who
> designed and /or renovated food service facilities
> at many colleges,schools, jails and prisons in
> Virgina, North Carolina and Georiga. He was also
> my brother and I miss him very much.
>
> Thank you all.

I sit here heartbroken. Sliced Onion was one of the kindest most supportive people here. God be with him and his whole family and friends. I thank you for this news although very sad.

friend of sliced onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The forum member known as sliced onion passed away
> Sunday afternoon after a battle with cancer. He
> asked me to let everyone here know. He was a
> sucessfull instutional food service designer who
> designed and /or renovated food service facilities
> at many colleges,schools, jails and prisons in
> Virgina, North Carolina and Georiga. He was also
> my brother and I miss him very much.
>
> Thank you all.

My condolences to you and your family. RIP sliced onion.

My sister Matilda and I pray for Sliced Onion and his family.

My bowel woes today are bad, but compared to this sad news it's nothing.

Sliced was funny, caring, and a true brother in bowel.

This is a shitty day, and while all of us including our bowels have a rendezvous with destiny, it's my hope him and his bowels are in Heaven.

A good man

The amount of mucous the colon manufacturers is incredible. I'd like to collect some, put it in a jar and see if it could have uses.

While the smell is putrid, I wonder if that could be reduced, so as to use it as aftershave or other cosmetic products. It's free after all.

I want to extend my condolences to Sliced Onions family. Peace be with you very sorry to hear.

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I want to extend my condolences to Sliced Onions
> family. Peace be with you very sorry to hear.


While most of the write ups here are the blathering of idiots, I send my regrets to user name sliced onions family.

I'm sorry about Sliced Onion.

I was able to get some colon mucous. It's in a Petri dish. Not a lot but scraped it from the back of my underwear after experiencing diarrhea. Going to see with more diarrhea if I can collect more. This is an exciting development!

Fuck you BEH! Scat lover!
Attachments:

Sad to hear about sliced onion. I was just looking at some of his posts from about a year ago. He was a good man. While poking around in the archives I found this song that brought a tear to my eye so I thought I would re-post it.


Brothers in bowel
This song is for you.


The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows when
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my bowel brother

So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my bowel brother

If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my bowel brother

He's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my bowel brother...

A beautiful and moving tribute 5 am.

Still sunned and saddened about Sliced Onion. My heart and bowels hurt a little more.

This time of year is awful. Fudge and pumpkin pie cause severe plumbing issues.

Sorry to hear that BO. If you succumb to the urge to indulge, do so in small quantities.

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sorry to hear that BO. If you succumb to the urge
> to indulge, do so in small quantities.


Yes it's a bad time. Midwives are enroute. Probably going to need a epidural

I'd like to thank the midwives who rendered aid.

Between contractions they held my hand. Their constant chant of push, push, push helped even with pain that seemed endless.

I almost gave up as the dilation counts weren't in my favor.

Yet with their prodding and clean up, my bowels get a slight reprieve.

I'm going to visit First Watch for breakfast with Matilda, and hope the wetbacks wash their dirty hands.

In loving memory, Godspeed........
Attachments:

ILM Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> In loving memory, Godspeed........


A loving tribute. Sliced Onion was a kind man, and my heart still is sad about his passing. He was one of the classiest guys in the bowels thread.

Matilda has a doctors appointment at 9.

My sister will no doubt be in a prone position naked on a cold table while the Dr. Mengeles of "modern medicine " will invade her bowels with probes and other uncomfortable objects.

If you could pray for her it would be appreciated.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Matilda has a doctors appointment at 9.
>
> My sister will no doubt be in a prone position
> naked on a cold table while the Dr. Mengeles of
> "modern medicine " will invade her bowels with
> probes and other uncomfortable objects.
>
> If you could pray for her it would be appreciated.


I just said a litte prayer and lit a couple candles. One for Matilda and one for sliced and family.

Thank you Dive. The gloves, clothes pins and rude nurses were bad.

The doctor was far worse. Thick ham hock fingers and his bedside manner was shitty. Now to put ice packs on my sisters asshole.

My sympathies to your sister, BO. My morning coffee has produced the usual #4#2. Sending good bowel vibes your way for the weekend.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you Dive. The gloves, clothes pins and rude
> nurses were bad.
>
> The doctor was far worse. Thick ham hock fingers
> and his bedside manner was shitty. Now to put ice
> packs on my sisters asshole.


Doctors and other medical professionals do not wear clothes pins!

Today's developments continue. I have more colon mucous and am either going to use it for candles, or perhaps drain it of the fecal matter, and see if aftershave is a viable possibility. This mucous serves a use for digestion so I think at least it's my hypothesis, that this has other uses.

I ate at Tippys. It was cheap and close. Yes I know not part of Brown Onions bowel friendly meals, so I expect a mess and two to three rolls of tp followed by a shower.

RIP Sliced Onion.

I hope he is able to enjoy the extensive buffet in heaven- with no digestive issues. I know he is at peace with himself, the Lord (or higher power of his choosing), and his bowels.

Had a late lunch at a pizza place. Corned beef, pastrami and cheese footlong sub topped with tomato, hot peppers and 1000 island dressing. Washed it all down with two ice cold budweisers. This is going to be interesting.

broke Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> RIP Sliced Onion.
>
> I hope he is able to enjoy the extensive buffet in
> heaven- with no digestive issues. I know he is at
> peace with himself, the Lord (or higher power of
> his choosing), and his bowels.
>
> [URL=http://media.photobucket.com/user/alongway99/
> media/Christmas%20Animations/Candle%20Animations/C
> andlesOrangeLeaves.gif.html][IMG]http://i125.photo
> bucket.com/albums/p68/alongway99/Christmas%20Anima
> tions/Candle%20Animations/CandlesOrangeLeaves.gif[
> /IMG][/URL]


That is my hope too. That Sliced is in Heaven alongside Jesus, with a cornucopia of foods he can now eat without ramifications.

I am very sad to hear still. Stunned as Sliced was a true brother in bowel. My groan throne woes today, are nothing compared to the pain of his family at Christmas.

Speaking of which I will let you onto a few seasonal items of brown soon.

Diced and Deadly, if an explosion of methane hits the news, I guess I'll know who's behind it. Best of luck gents.

#brownpride

Thanks BO. Hopefully you'll have a goulash-free weekend.

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thanks BO. Hopefully you'll have a goulash-free
> weekend.


Hoping so, going to get more ice packs for my sisters rectum. What are your dining plans?

You know me BO...I like to roll the dice. Thinking pizza with pepperoni and jalapenos, washed down with some cold beer.

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You know me BO...I like to roll the dice.
> Thinking pizza with pepperoni and jalapenos,
> washed down with some cold beer.


Guess that's the bowel version of the "craps table" Deadly. Proceed but be careful not to bet the house.

Matilda is happier now that I got her ice packs, and its just astonishing what a "dr" would do to her poor ass. Just unreal, and insensitive to boot, they lack the decency one would expect in the medical field.

Off to the groan throne but bottoms up with the food and drinking

Goulash. More later

Im getting off work soon and going to sleep about 4 hours before I hit the road to my Auntie's house in Williamsburg. She is having family over this weekend for a early Christmas party. Thankfully she has an extra bedroom and bath in the basement where I will be staying. The meal she will be serving will look quite similar to this,
Attachments:

Wow 5am! You might want to invest in some adult diapers for the trip home from that meal.
I ate really badly yesterday but no ill effects yet. My bowels are fickle, sometimes they run like a brand new Lexus and other times they run like a 1985 Yugo with 500,000 miles on it.

Where's Gordo?

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wow 5am! You might want to invest in some adult
> diapers for the trip home from that meal.
> I ate really badly yesterday but no ill effects
> yet. My bowels are fickle, sometimes they run like
> a brand new Lexus and other times they run like a
> 1985 Yugo with 500,000 miles on it.


I must concur with my colleagues judgment. That meal while it is pleasing to the eyes and our sense of smell, is going to wreck your brown eye. Going to be painful. Please let me know if midwives are necessary.

Bacon Gordo has disappeared. I forgot what country he emigrated from, but whether here or abroad I hope his explosive bowels are better.

You walk into the corporate Christmas party, although due to many superior bowel small minds "Holiday" party. This once a year occasion is special, you actually dry clean your suit, and make an effort to walk in the banquet hall without shit stains on your underwear.

Its a chance to hobnob with the executive team, without much chance for blowback until alcohol is served. You see the asshole Jewish lawyer, the slimy El Salvadoran wait staff whom are 4 feet tall, carry trays of snacks around the room. The asshole BMW driving executive team is pleased about the food, but their indifference to the wait staff increases. "Out of sigot out of mind" is what they are thinking, but deep down they need third world folks to bring their coctail weanies.

Your pals from the cubicles are there. That awful woman who has African decorations to show her heritage, and that Islamic monkey who has American flags on his desk, as he's monitored by suits. All of these pretentious assholes in one room, you can smell the ego over their Aqua Velva.

The alcohol inhibits your thinking clouding it over, as you eat cold cuts, block of cheese, and maybe look up the skirt of the hot Asian secretary who no doubt is blowing the boss Monday through Friday. You are pleased but all of a sudden your gait changes, as you feel bloating and a profound need to evacuate your bowels.

You try to get to the furthest bathroom, thanking yourself as your teeth clench, that you didn't wear white pants. As you go to the stalls, you release what appears to be a Nagasaki sized shit in a matter of seconds, although it feels like hours as you sweat and scream.

One of the token black guys is sent to check on your welfare. Affirmative action may have opened doors, but this is one he didn't want to go through. Greeting him the smell of a yuletide log makes him instantly age into George Jefferson, and his thick eyebrows and nose hairs fall out.

Next week due to his diligence, he will be promoted to a higher position as you are left with a sore ass and the reputation of a party pooper.

Okay I laughed for once.

Cah onstipation.. cah onstipayaytion
is a making me late
keeping me waiting

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You walk into the corporate Christmas party,
> although due to many superior bowel small minds
> "Holiday" party. This once a year occasion is
> special, you actually dry clean your suit, and
> make an effort to walk in the banquet hall without
> shit stains on your underwear.
>
> Its a chance to hobnob with the executive team,
> without much chance for blowback until alcohol is
> served. You see the asshole Jewish lawyer, the
> slimy El Salvadoran wait staff whom are 4 feet
> tall, carry trays of snacks around the room. The
> asshole BMW driving executive team is pleased
> about the food, but their indifference to the wait
> staff increases. "Out of sigot out of mind" is
> what they are thinking, but deep down they need
> third world folks to bring their coctail weanies.
>
> Your pals from the cubicles are there. That awful
> woman who has African decorations to show her
> heritage, and that Islamic monkey who has American
> flags on his desk, as he's monitored by suits. All
> of these pretentious assholes in one room, you can
> smell the ego over their Aqua Velva.
>
> The alcohol inhibits your thinking clouding it
> over, as you eat cold cuts, block of cheese, and
> maybe look up the skirt of the hot Asian secretary
> who no doubt is blowing the boss Monday through
> Friday. You are pleased but all of a sudden your
> gait changes, as you feel bloating and a profound
> need to evacuate your bowels.
>
> You try to get to the furthest bathroom, thanking
> yourself as your teeth clench, that you didn't
> wear white pants. As you go to the stalls, you
> release what appears to be a Nagasaki sized shit
> in a matter of seconds, although it feels like
> hours as you sweat and scream.
>
> One of the token black guys is sent to check on
> your welfare. Affirmative action may have opened
> doors, but this is one he didn't want to go
> through. Greeting him the smell of a yuletide log
> makes him instantly age into George Jefferson, and
> his thick eyebrows and nose hairs fall out.
>
> Next week due to his diligence, he will be
> promoted to a higher position as you are left with
> a sore ass and the reputation of a party pooper.


Brown, You are a gifted author.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > You walk into the corporate Christmas party,
> > although due to many superior bowel small minds
> > "Holiday" party. This once a year occasion is
> > special, you actually dry clean your suit, and
> > make an effort to walk in the banquet hall
> without
> > shit stains on your underwear.
> >
> > Its a chance to hobnob with the executive team,
> > without much chance for blowback until alcohol
> is
> > served. You see the asshole Jewish lawyer, the
> > slimy El Salvadoran wait staff whom are 4 feet
> > tall, carry trays of snacks around the room.
> The
> > asshole BMW driving executive team is pleased
> > about the food, but their indifference to the
> wait
> > staff increases. "Out of sigot out of mind" is
> > what they are thinking, but deep down they
> need
> > third world folks to bring their coctail
> weanies.
> >
> > Your pals from the cubicles are there. That
> awful
> > woman who has African decorations to show her
> > heritage, and that Islamic monkey who has
> American
> > flags on his desk, as he's monitored by suits.
> All
> > of these pretentious assholes in one room, you
> can
> > smell the ego over their Aqua Velva.
> >
> > The alcohol inhibits your thinking clouding it
> > over, as you eat cold cuts, block of cheese,
> and
> > maybe look up the skirt of the hot Asian
> secretary
> > who no doubt is blowing the boss Monday through
> > Friday. You are pleased but all of a sudden
> your
> > gait changes, as you feel bloating and a
> profound
> > need to evacuate your bowels.
> >
> > You try to get to the furthest bathroom,
> thanking
> > yourself as your teeth clench, that you didn't
> > wear white pants. As you go to the stalls, you
> > release what appears to be a Nagasaki sized
> shit
> > in a matter of seconds, although it feels like
> > hours as you sweat and scream.
> >
> > One of the token black guys is sent to check on
> > your welfare. Affirmative action may have
> opened
> > doors, but this is one he didn't want to go
> > through. Greeting him the smell of a yuletide
> log
> > makes him instantly age into George Jefferson,
> and
> > his thick eyebrows and nose hairs fall out.
> >
> > Next week due to his diligence, he will be
> > promoted to a higher position as you are left
> with
> > a sore ass and the reputation of a party
> pooper.
>
>
> Brown, You are a gifted author.


Thank you Dive. It's therapeutic to write about bowel woes. How are your bowels?

Brown Onion Wrote:

...............................
>.Thank you Dive. It's therapeutic to write about bowel woes. How are your bowels?


For whatever reason my bowels have been doing great for over a week now. I even threw that pastrami and corned beef sub at them and they processed it just fine.

I have some trouble at home today, I woke up to no water and found the circuit breaker to my well pump tripped. I reset it and it is working now so i filled my jacuzzi with water in case I need that water to flush toilets. Having bowel trouble when there is no working toilets can make for a very bad situation. Hopefully I can get the well man out here tomorrow.

That's "well" shit dive.

My hope upon hope is that your bowels cooperate, and there are no unpleasant fetid brown surprises. At least hope your colon can hold out until repairs are made or you might need to push it back in.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
>
> ...............................
> >.Thank you Dive. It's therapeutic to write about
> bowel woes. How are your bowels?
>
>
> For whatever reason my bowels have been doing
> great for over a week now. I even threw that
> pastrami and corned beef sub at them and they
> processed it just fine.
>
> I have some trouble at home today, I woke up to no
> water and found the circuit breaker to my well
> pump tripped. I reset it and it is working now so
> i filled my jacuzzi with water in case I need that
> water to flush toilets. Having bowel trouble when
> there is no working toilets can make for a very
> bad situation. Hopefully I can get the well man
> out here tomorrow.

A board certified GI could work with your diet.

You aren't a doctor

I had an enormous tray of chips and cheese dip today. Watching football is definitely bad for your bowels. I believe after this game there's going to be a brown pick 6.

Does anyone have extra colon mucous?

Dr Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone have extra colon mucous?


Sure it's at Walmart and Target. It's on sale at Macy's.

I have no qualms about learning of said mucus, but wonder aside from those who's bowels work properly, what's the point of your collection process?

Dr Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone have extra colon mucous?


Is that the reasonably clear and somewhat sticky fluid that sometimes leaks out of your ass after a long day? If so I have it regularly but it is just a stain on my underpants, not really anything that could be collected in a jar. I wish you luck on your research. How are your bowels?

Yes that's it. Can you scrape it off of your underwear as I'm working with this jelly like substance. If you'd like more laxatives can be provided at no charge.

My digestive system is problematic. Lots of diarrhea but on the plus side lots of colon mucous.

Todays bowel movement was the beyond the usual discomfort, worse than the occasional teeth grater and considerably more agonizing than any evacuations of recent times.

It was a fingernails embedded in the bathroom tile, dog scaring, neighbor concerning, colon re configuring stool whose girth was hitherto unmatched even by my own imagination.

By the time the behemoth exited the Ano-Recto canal , my vision had tripled, I was hyperventilating and on the verge of losing consciousness.

Upon the eventual regaining of my composure, I realized the bathroom was in a shambles, magazines, toiletries, towels and rugs askew, with frantic family members banging on the door.


The post exorcism Sitz bath (with eucalyptus) had only slightly refreshed my beleaguered Rectum, and its no fun bathing in red and brown water either.


So, I'm taking a Valium now, and going to try to sleep off this latest tribulation, but how much can a Schphinkter take?

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Todays bowel movement was the beyond the usual
> discomfort, worse than the occasional teeth grater
> and considerably more agonizing than any
> evacuations of recent times.
>
> It was a fingernails embedded in the bathroom
> tile, dog scaring, neighbor concerning, colon re
> configuring stool whose girth was hitherto
> unmatched even by my own imagination.
>
> By the time the behemoth exited the Ano-Recto
> canal , my vision had tripled, I was
> hyperventilating and on the verge of losing
> consciousness.
>
> Upon the eventual regaining of my composure, I
> realized the bathroom was in a shambles,
> magazines, toiletries, towels and rugs askew,
> with frantic family members banging on the door.
>
>
>
> The post exorcism Sitz bath (with eucalyptus) had
> only slightly refreshed my beleaguered Rectum, and
> its no fun bathing in red and brown water
> either.
>
>
> So, I'm taking a Valium now, and going to try to
> sleep off this latest tribulation, but how much
> can a Schphinkter take?

Sick scat loving bastard. Fuck you!

Oh midwife,
You freed up my bunghole daily,
BUT I SENT YOU AWAY,
Oh midwife,
You stopped my constipation,
AND I NEED YOU TODAY

I do miss Gordo though. Felt bad for Mr Poopy Pants

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Todays bowel movement was the beyond the usual
> discomfort, worse than the occasional teeth grater
> and considerably more agonizing than any
> evacuations of recent times.
>
> It was a fingernails embedded in the bathroom
> tile, dog scaring, neighbor concerning, colon re
> configuring stool whose girth was hitherto
> unmatched even by my own imagination.
>
> By the time the behemoth exited the Ano-Recto
> canal , my vision had tripled, I was
> hyperventilating and on the verge of losing
> consciousness.
>
> Upon the eventual regaining of my composure, I
> realized the bathroom was in a shambles,
> magazines, toiletries, towels and rugs askew,
> with frantic family members banging on the door.
>
>
>
> The post exorcism Sitz bath (with eucalyptus) had
> only slightly refreshed my beleaguered Rectum, and
> its no fun bathing in red and brown water
> either.
>
>
> So, I'm taking a Valium now, and going to try to
> sleep off this latest tribulation, but how much
> can a Schphinkter take?


I have the same experience twice a year on average.

I miss Gordo and wish him a Yuletide log instead of explosive craps.

Dive Bomber BEHs description was well done, as although I'm sorry he has to experience this bowel nightmare, he eloquently penned what all of us go through.

I'm curious about Valium for sleeping after dropping off such painful payloads. My ass doctor gave me Tylenol 800s, a shake of his head and indifference when I asked for that.

He was happy to hoist me on a cold table, root around in my bowels looking for truffles, and gladly accepted my money.

His receptionist so reminds me of that awful lady from Monsters Inc.

You know what? Fuck sliced onion, and all the onions on here.
Why can't the shallot crew get any respect here? We can fuck up GI just as much as you weepy losers can.

The Shallot Family Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You know what? Fuck sliced onion, and all the
> onions on here.
> Why can't the shallot crew get any respect here?
> We can fuck up GI just as much as you weepy losers
> can.

What's Shallot Crew?

My bowels work like a well oiled machine. I can eat a large pizza with all the toppings and shit it out effortlessly the next day.

sweet onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My bowels work like a well oiled machine. I can
> eat a large pizza with all the toppings and shit
> it out effortlessly the next day.


Thank you for rubbing your superior bowels in front of our faces. Such arrogance from those with A plus bowels.

All brothers in brown engage with piles of shit.

I was in the 3rd floor mens room and was struggling to drop my payload when the fire alarm went off. I had to decide between possible death or finishing my dump. i chose to finish but survived. It seems the bathroom exaust fans shut down when the fire alarm is active. That made things less than ideal for the firefighters that entered the room as I was leaving but they had air tanks available to them.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was in the 3rd floor mens room and was
> struggling to drop my payload when the fire alarm
> went off. I had to decide between possible death
> or finishing my dump. i chose to finish but
> survived. It seems the bathroom exaust fans shut
> down when the fire alarm is active. That made
> things less than ideal for the firefighters that
> entered the room as I was leaving but they had air
> tanks available to them.


First of all I'm glad you are okay.

Secondly that your bowels made it.

Do we have any firefighters in here, because Dive has me curious how effective their breathing apparatus is against the fetid stench .

My mucous collection hasn't been easy, but I've got a little more after 8 hours and two bowel movements.

Hoping tonight to see if a Bunsen burner can turn this jelly like mucous into wax.

Dr Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My mucous collection hasn't been easy, but I've
> got a little more after 8 hours and two bowel
> movements.
>
> Hoping tonight to see if a Bunsen burner can turn
> this jelly like mucous into wax.


Will your research help with the Hindenburg I'm about to drop?

I'm in the early stages of research, but I'd like mucous if you have some extra to spare.

Dr Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm in the early stages of research, but I'd like
> mucous if you have some extra to spare.


You are quite eccentric.

I ate Indian the other night and my asshole is still burning. Do Indian folk walk around all day with flaming anuses, or are they numb to the sensation?

Fire in the hole Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I ate Indian the other night and my asshole is
> still burning. Do Indian folk walk around all day
> with flaming anuses, or are they numb to the
> sensation?


5 am guy here. Good morning all!

Years ago I had a short lived romance with a Indian girl. That lamb and curry spicy food used to fire her up and make her vibrant and passionate for days. She mostly ate spicy foods on the weekend but not only was she numb to the sensation she thrived on it. I hate to say it but 5am guy broke up with her over the smell of curry that lingered on her all over (yes,even down there)

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fire in the hole Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I ate Indian the other night and my asshole is
> > still burning. Do Indian folk walk around all
> day
> > with flaming anuses, or are they numb to the
> > sensation?
>
>
> 5 am guy here. Good morning all!
>
> Years ago I had a short lived romance with a
> Indian girl. That lamb and curry spicy food used
> to fire her up and make her vibrant and passionate
> for days. She mostly ate spicy foods on the
> weekend but not only was she numb to the sensation
> she thrived on it. I hate to say it but 5am guy
> broke up with her over the smell of curry that
> lingered on her all over (yes,even down there)


Tis a shame Mr 5 am. They have pretty women but that food leads to shitty results.

That newspaper man who delivers the paper through rain sleet and snow is important to me. I read each section of the Washington Post. Some articles help me although the political ones can inflame my bowels further whilst on the groan throne.

The dot head who makes sure my paper arrives, is going to be tipped heavily, and given a Bristol Stool Guide and information about bowel healthy foods.

My bowels literally depend on his.

Be sure to take care of your carriers.

First experiment was successful. The colon mucous did become wax. Although it's going to smell, I'm going to light my first candle and will update it here.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That newspaper man who delivers the paper through
> rain sleet and snow is important to me. I read
> each section of the Washington Post. Some articles
> help me although the political ones can inflame my
> bowels further whilst on the groan throne.
>
> The dot head who makes sure my paper arrives, is
> going to be tipped heavily, and given a Bristol
> Stool Guide and information about bowel healthy
> foods.
>
> My bowels literally depend on his.

Tip if you want or not jackass. They get paid either way dumbass.
>
> Be sure to take care of your carriers.

Newspaper carriers are the walking pastors or town cries of the past, to the modern day bowel trodden.

Your attitude is shitty. How are your bowels?

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You walk into the corporate Christmas party,
> although due to many superior bowel small minds
> "Holiday" party. This once a year occasion is
> special, you actually dry clean your suit, and
> make an effort to walk in the banquet hall without
> shit stains on your underwear.
>
> Its a chance to hobnob with the executive team,
> without much chance for blowback until alcohol is
> served. You see the asshole Jewish lawyer, the
> slimy El Salvadoran wait staff whom are 4 feet
> tall, carry trays of snacks around the room. The
> asshole BMW driving executive team is pleased
> about the food, but their indifference to the wait
> staff increases. "Out of sigot out of mind" is
> what they are thinking, but deep down they need
> third world folks to bring their coctail weanies.
>
> Your pals from the cubicles are there. That awful
> woman who has African decorations to show her
> heritage, and that Islamic monkey who has American
> flags on his desk, as he's monitored by suits. All
> of these pretentious assholes in one room, you can
> smell the ego over their Aqua Velva.
>
> The alcohol inhibits your thinking clouding it
> over, as you eat cold cuts, block of cheese, and
> maybe look up the skirt of the hot Asian secretary
> who no doubt is blowing the boss Monday through
> Friday. You are pleased but all of a sudden your
> gait changes, as you feel bloating and a profound
> need to evacuate your bowels.
>
> You try to get to the furthest bathroom, thanking
> yourself as your teeth clench, that you didn't
> wear white pants. As you go to the stalls, you
> release what appears to be a Nagasaki sized shit
> in a matter of seconds, although it feels like
> hours as you sweat and scream.
>
> One of the token black guys is sent to check on
> your welfare. Affirmative action may have opened
> doors, but this is one he didn't want to go
> through. Greeting him the smell of a yuletide log
> makes him instantly age into George Jefferson, and
> his thick eyebrows and nose hairs fall out.
>
> Next week due to his diligence, he will be
> promoted to a higher position as you are left with
> a sore ass and the reputation of a party pooper.


Best writer here. Job well done Brown Onion!

Thank you miscavage it's at least a way to express life of the bowel trodden.

This is a tough time of the year, so thank you bowel buddy.

I extol the value of prune juice gents.

It helps move your digestion, as a old goat I can assure you of this.

I found this on a search engine, and am glad not to be alone. I'm in my late forties and now, let's see I've been dealing with this for about ten years. Not sure if it's age related or not, but even with a healthy diet and working with a doctor, my results are still relatively the same. Constipation and large craps. Its embarrassing and has led to a lot of problems. I will read more of these columns, and feel at least a little better to know there are others experiencing similar problems.

The first colon mucous candle was a disaster.

Yes it's very flammable.

Yes it stinks beyond belief. I'm going to try it again and remove the fecal anamolies that are part of the mucous. Its trial and error, but I still strongly believe this mucous has several uses.

Oldefarte 68 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I extol the value of prune juice gents.
>
> It helps move your digestion, as a old goat I can
> assure you of this.


Well, of68 I have tried prune juice. I was nearly hospitalized due to the dehydration that ensued.
Just because it works for you does not mean it works for everyone.

Thank you for contributing to this forum, it is helpful when the brown trodden communicate.

Dr.Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The first colon mucous candle was a disaster.
>
> Yes it's very flammable.
>
> Yes it stinks beyond belief. I'm going to try it
> again and remove the fecal anamolies that are part
> of the mucous. Its trial and error, but I still
> strongly believe this mucous has several uses.

Perhaps it would make better use as a gourmet dipping sauce.

Hello all, 5am guy checking in here. Just got back from Denny's. I had a moons over my hammy with fries and coleslaw. Now I sit here in my little office and wait for the inevitable aftermath.


Check out my friend Butthole in Chillin in the brown!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rjuvzBr200

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all, 5am guy checking in here. Just got back
> from Denny's. I had a moons over my hammy with
> fries and coleslaw. Now I sit here in my little
> office and wait for the inevitable aftermath.
>
>
> Check out my friend Butthole in Chillin in the
> brown!
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Hi 5 am,

I'm an older man and not sure what to make of the video. Is the cat representing scat? That was an incredible bowel movement on one of the pictures.

Mister Brown Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I found this on a search engine, and am glad not
> to be alone. I'm in my late forties and now, let's
> see I've been dealing with this for about ten
> years. Not sure if it's age related or not, but
> even with a healthy diet and working with a
> doctor, my results are still relatively the same.
> Constipation and large craps. Its embarrassing and
> has led to a lot of problems. I will read more of
> these columns, and feel at least a little better
> to know there are others experiencing similar
> problems.

Welcome Mr Brown. You certainly are not alone. You have millions of bowel trodden who sit on groan thrones, clenching their jaws so not to scream, and I hope you'll share more about your bowels.

I just got to work and I am feeling the rumblings from down below. No way I am getting on the elevator as they have a history of breaking down and leaving people trapped inside for awhile. I really need to go to my office on the 5th floor to check in before going to the can. This is not a good start for the day. Five flights of stairs while holding back the brown tide is going to be rough.

i still believe in castration will solve many of your bowel problems

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just got to work and I am feeling the rumblings
> from down below. No way I am getting on the
> elevator as they have a history of breaking down
> and leaving people trapped inside for awhile. I
> really need to go to my office on the 5th floor to
> check in before going to the can. This is not a
> good start for the day. Five flights of stairs
> while holding back the brown tide is going to be
> rough.


Dive did you make it? That's not a good start for sure.

The idea of being stuck on an elevator with the brown matter about to squeeze on out is horrifying.

Just beyond scary, even worse if others are in there. Most people take stairs or elevators for granted but not the bowel trodden.

btrxzaqwe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> i still believe in castration will solve many of
> your bowel problems


Why don't you try it first?

Chef Anusbudget Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dr.Diarrhea Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The first colon mucous candle was a disaster.
> >
> > Yes it's very flammable.
> >
> > Yes it stinks beyond belief. I'm going to try
> it
> > again and remove the fecal anamolies that are
> part
> > of the mucous. Its trial and error, but I
> still
> > strongly believe this mucous has several uses.
>
> Perhaps it would make better use as a gourmet
> dipping sauce.

So far I don't see any food uses, but it could lead to heat or perhaps cooking oil if contaminants are removed. The odor is not pleasant, but if anyone has extra mucous I'd be grateful.

Today I'm going to try to separate fecal matter from the mucous, as that should allow for the stench to dissipate.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I just got to work and I am feeling the
> rumblings
> > from down below. No way I am getting on the
> > elevator as they have a history of breaking
> down
> > and leaving people trapped inside for awhile. I
> > really need to go to my office on the 5th floor
> to
> > check in before going to the can. This is not a
> > good start for the day. Five flights of stairs
> > while holding back the brown tide is going to
> be
> > rough.
>
>
> Dive did you make it? That's not a good start for
> sure.
>
> The idea of being stuck on an elevator with the
> brown matter about to squeeze on out is
> horrifying.
>
> Just beyond scary, even worse if others are in
> there. Most people take stairs or elevators for
> granted but not the bowel trodden.


I had to run to the 2nd floor mens room first to have a brown explosion so I was late for work again. My bowels are the reason I am not getting promoted at work.

You could be right Dive, as bowel trodden employees don't share the same protections under law such as ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation.

It's my hope that Congresman Connally will draft legislation for people with bowel problems.

Right now I'm probably going to have to hit the groan throne. My rectum isn't looking good in the mirror.

It's frustrating. I have constipation again. Does anywhere here only take 2-3 craps a week? By the time I go it's huge.

Mister Brown Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's frustrating. I have constipation again. Does
> anywhere here only take 2-3 craps a week? By the
> time I go it's huge.

I've had similar issues but most of mine are due to a poor diet. I just polished off a pizza and wings. Should I have? Nope. Now awaiting punishment to and from my bowels.

I wish I had more mucous to work with. It may take several days.

Dr Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wish I had more mucous to work with. It may take
> several days.


I'm sure Woodburn appreciates your diligence.

Do any OTC medicines work and what's your opinion of probiotics?

Mister Brown Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do any OTC medicines work and what's your opinion
> of probiotics?

No. Only a visit to a board certified GI can help.

Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mister Brown Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Do any OTC medicines work and what's your
> opinion
> > of probiotics?
>
> No. Only a visit to a board certified GI can help.

Don't believe "anon doc "