MREs should be available at surplus stores. Just know that if you eat an entire MRE pack, you are ingesting upwards of 2000 calories on butt plugging delight. Once you plug it, it might take awhile to loosen the action when returning to normal food. When you finally drop a bomb, it'll be military grade crapunition. Your bomb would kill ISIS with 1 round.

If you need jaws of life, I'm not sure where to purchase those.

Create a Logjam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> MREs should be available at surplus stores. Just
> know that if you eat an entire MRE pack, you are
> ingesting upwards of 2000 calories on butt
> plugging delight. Once you plug it, it might take
> awhile to loosen the action when returning to
> normal food. When you finally drop a bomb, it'll
> be military grade crapunition. Your bomb would
> kill ISIS with 1 round.
>
> If you need jaws of life, I'm not sure where to
> purchase those.


You are definitely a bowel buddy. Thank you for your service to our nation, people across the fruited plain, and our bowels.

I'd love to unleash the large craps I have on ISIS. The damage would fall under shock and awe.

Thank you as I will take my sister Matilda, who's already going to the ass doctor tomorrow, and we will purchase some MREs.

Just make sure if you drop large bombs on ISIS that it includes some bacon.

We referred to MREs as "butt bondo" in the field. One of my troops loved those things & would eat extras that others didn't want. He'd gain 10 lbs in the field during a week.

I am pleased to report more colon mucous has been extracted. It's being kept safely in beakers, because this is a valuable commodity. Hoping the Bunsen burners arrive, as this batch of mucous is the best.

That wasn't colon mucous buddy. That was man yogurt & you know how it got there, injection by dong.

Dr Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am pleased to report more colon mucous has been
> extracted. It's being kept safely in beakers,
> because this is a valuable commodity. Hoping the
> Bunsen burners arrive, as this batch of mucous is
> the best.

"Beakers", er... condoms. Glad you think my jizz is the best, I know I have stiff competition. I hope you rub it all over your face in the morning like you said you would, it's amazing lotion that will make you look ten years younger.

Create a Logjam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just make sure if you drop large bombs on ISIS
> that it includes some bacon.
>
> We referred to MREs as "butt bondo" in the field.
> One of my troops loved those things & would eat
> extras that others didn't want. He'd gain 10 lbs
> in the field during a week.


Oh most definitely the towel heads need to get some bacon grease from our rectums. That is for sure, and I do think "butt bondo" is a funny term. It would be an honor to hear more about how the military works around bowel issues, or contends with them on the battlefield.

For instance, what are some common bowel problems, or can you elaborate on what sheep fuckers in Afghanistan and Iraq do when their bowels act up?

Not all of these sheep fuckers are bad, as the Pakistani's make wonderful soccer balls.

In Iraq, we had a Pizza Hut & Burger King. Eating at the chow hall would stop you up a bit. Sunday was release day for a lot of folks. Pizza Hut & BK would allow your body to "Unleash the Fury".

We had rocket attacks a couple of times & were on lockdown in our tents. Some people couldn't control the bowels, so they let loose in gatorade bottles. The wide mouth helped out.

No idea what the sheep fuckers did with bad bowels. I think they probably just let loose in their sheets.

MRE stands for massive rectal explosion.

The soldier in the field is trained to use his MRE poop to build a sturdy foxhole.

Create a Logjam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> In Iraq, we had a Pizza Hut & Burger King. Eating
> at the chow hall would stop you up a bit. Sunday
> was release day for a lot of folks. Pizza Hut &
> BK would allow your body to "Unleash the Fury".
>
> We had rocket attacks a couple of times & were on
> lockdown in our tents. Some people couldn't
> control the bowels, so they let loose in gatorade
> bottles. The wide mouth helped out.
>
> No idea what the sheep fuckers did with bad
> bowels. I think they probably just let loose in
> their sheets.


This is great info. I can't thank you enough for excellent military history of bowels, while mine are getting annihilated on the groan throne.

Happy new year. I wonder if pralines could help your bowel movements. It's not been long but I believe this in addition to oatmeal and prunes helps a lot.

I have colon mucous at two different temperatures. These control groups will be used to decipher comparisons, along with improving efficiency of the mucous for a number of products. The candles have been successful, but I want to get to work on lozenges with the putrid flavor decreased or removed.

My bowels almost launched off the groan throne. Almost Mexican astronaut style.

I wish instead of porcelain shitters, I could spend more time on a recliner, watching Maury or some PBS mysteries.

Instead it's doctors with thick fingers and large rings, giant sized defacations and certain aromas that linger for hours. It's not fair to my wetback cleaning lady to endure these scents which are eye opening and nose hair burning at the same time.

I did 66 months in the Virginia department of corrections. The food is like school lunch food and put a hurting on my bowels. On the inside you have to poop by the clock and no privacy. At first I bad a real hard time with that but got used to it after a year or so.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I did 66 months in the Virginia department of
> corrections. The food is like school lunch food
> and put a hurting on my bowels. On the inside you
> have to poop by the clock and no privacy. At first
> I bad a real hard time with that but got used to
> it after a year or so.


This is fascinating shit. Yesterday a military veteran and now a man who's already paid his debt to society, showing not only his bowels rehabilitation but that he has been corrected.

I appreciate you sharing about you, your bowels, and prison groan thrones. The food must be awful, could you let me and others with bowel problems know what types of cuisines you had. Also I'm curious about what the groan thrones were like.

The Bunsen burners arrived. Its going to take time to assemble them, but the sooner the better, as the mucous experiments must continue.

It seems a lot of bed and breakfast establishments are not bowel friendly.

My sister Matilda wants to spend a couple of days with her knitting friends, to some event in the Northern Neck of Virginia. At first I was worried about the white trash river rats and negros driving cars with $5,000 wheels.

Yet what is unfortunate is how condescending some B+B owners are. They don't want to discuss plumbing, what their groan thrones are like, nor what's on their menus.

Food is an important consideration for the bowel trodden. When she inquired about sheet cleaning services, these backwards inbreds changed the signs to "no vacancies. "

Dr Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I want to get to work on lozenges

With the way you gargled my hog last night, it's no wonder your throat is sore today. I'll be over momentarily to blow another load on your tonsils; that should provide some relief.

The Bunsen burners are assembled. The die cast molds are being prepared, so despite it being a late night m I've got lots of mucous to work with.

Dr.Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The Bunsen burners are assembled. The die cast
> molds are being prepared, so despite it being a
> late night m I've got lots of mucous to work with.


No doubt. Looking forward to bukaki night again.

Dr D,

I'll get a Clone a Willy so we can get you some double penetration. Fed Ex can let you smoke his pole, while you take a replica of his dong up the lava tube.

That pizza and wings still is painful. The Maalox is only helping so much along with Pepto. I should never have eaten that. Looking at the box with the grease is creepy. What it's done to my bowels is the worst.

Dr D Loves the Cock Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dr D,
>
> I'll get a Clone a Willy so we can get you some
> double penetration. Fed Ex can let you smoke his
> pole, while you take a replica of his dong up the
> lava tube.

I would enjoy that. Sucking some cock would be a good way to get my mind off this project for awhile. Maybe I can obtain some new mucous samples in the process. I also need some chode grease for a new experiment I'm working on.

EDITS BELOW. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Dr.Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dr D Loves the Cock Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dr D,
> >
> > I'll get a Clone a Willy so we can get you
> some
> > double penetration. Fed Ex can let you smoke
> his
> > pole, while you take a replica of his dong up
> the
> > lava tube.
>
> I **DO** enjoy that. Sucking some cock **IS MY MOST WORTHWHILE** project. I **HAVE** obtainED some new "mucous" samples
> in the process. I also need some chode grease for
> a new experiment I'm working on.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I did 66 months in the Virginia department of
> > corrections. The food is like school lunch food
> > and put a hurting on my bowels. On the inside
> you
> > have to poop by the clock and no privacy. At
> first
> > I bad a real hard time with that but got used
> to
> > it after a year or so.
>
>
> This is fascinating shit. Yesterday a military
> veteran and now a man who's already paid his debt
> to society, showing not only his bowels
> rehabilitation but that he has been corrected.
>
> I appreciate you sharing about you, your bowels,
> and prison groan thrones. The food must be awful,
> could you let me and others with bowel problems
> know what types of cuisines you had. Also I'm
> curious about what the groan thrones were like.


Yeah, thanks for asking. I am drunk as hell right now. Ill post some shit this weekend. I got a couple good stories.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > I did 66 months in the Virginia department of
> > > corrections. The food is like school lunch
> food
> > > and put a hurting on my bowels. On the inside
> > you
> > > have to poop by the clock and no privacy. At
> > first
> > > I bad a real hard time with that but got used
> > to
> > > it after a year or so.
> >
> >
> > This is fascinating shit. Yesterday a military
> > veteran and now a man who's already paid his
> debt
> > to society, showing not only his bowels
> > rehabilitation but that he has been corrected.
> >
> > I appreciate you sharing about you, your
> bowels,
> > and prison groan thrones. The food must be
> awful,
> > could you let me and others with bowel problems
> > know what types of cuisines you had. Also I'm
> > curious about what the groan thrones were like.
>
>
> Yeah, thanks for asking. I am drunk as hell right
> now. Ill post some shit this weekend. I got a
> couple good stories.

We do not want to read about the various feces molds you made from other mens penises.

shekels Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > I did 66 months in the Virginia department
> of
> > > > corrections. The food is like school lunch
> > food
> > > > and put a hurting on my bowels. On the
> inside
> > > you
> > > > have to poop by the clock and no privacy.
> At
> > > first
> > > > I bad a real hard time with that but got
> used
> > > to
> > > > it after a year or so.
> > >
> > >
> > > This is fascinating shit. Yesterday a
> military
> > > veteran and now a man who's already paid his
> > debt
> > > to society, showing not only his bowels
> > > rehabilitation but that he has been corrected.
>
> > >
> > > I appreciate you sharing about you, your
> > bowels,
> > > and prison groan thrones. The food must be
> > awful,
> > > could you let me and others with bowel
> problems
> > > know what types of cuisines you had. Also I'm
> > > curious about what the groan thrones were
> like.
> >
> >
> > Yeah, thanks for asking. I am drunk as hell
> right
> > now. Ill post some shit this weekend. I got a
> > couple good stories.
>
> We do not want to read about the various feces
> molds you made from other mens penises.

Yes the bowel trodden do.

Good morning brown trodden friends!

I am going to enjoy a weekend of doing almost nothing and going nowhere except for a quick trip to the grocery store this morning. Sometimes you got to rest up and relax. The wife is going to make her tex-mex turkey chili as soon as I get back from the store. Maybe my bowels will not get the weekend off. One thing for sure, I'm buying a case of Sam Adams to go with chili and football. Good thing I now have a small TV in the basement bathroom.

A long night but the control groups of mucous have been established. I was not able to work with the molds. Yet the mucous candles and their burn rate are becoming interesting .

Dr Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A long night but the control groups of mucous have
> been established. I was not able to work with the
> molds. Yet the mucous candles and their burn rate
> are becoming interesting .

Awesome news that the candles are working. I can't wait to fuck your ass with your feet on my shoulders, one hand jerking your cock to climax, the other hand holding the candle, dripping the hot wax on your hairy man tits as you cum. I'm really looking forward to it. It will be another long night.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Good morning brown trodden friends!
>
> I am going to enjoy a weekend of doing almost
> nothing and going nowhere except for a quick trip
> to the grocery store this morning. Sometimes you
> got to rest up and relax. The wife is going to
> make her tex-mex turkey chili as soon as I get
> back from the store. Maybe my bowels will not get
> the weekend off. One thing for sure, I'm buying a
> case of Sam Adams to go with chili and football.
> Good thing I now have a small TV in the basement
> bathroom.


Oh my goodness Dive, that's straight out of the goulash files. I wish you and your bowels well, but yes a television does make sense. There could be a brown delay.

I just shit horribly. It looks like an upside down can of canned dog food everywhere .

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I did 66 months in the Virginia department of
> > corrections. The food is like school lunch food
> > and put a hurting on my bowels. On the inside
> you
> > have to poop by the clock and no privacy. At
> first
> > I bad a real hard time with that but got used
> to
> > it after a year or so.
>
>
> This is fascinating shit. Yesterday a military
> veteran and now a man who's already paid his debt
> to society, showing not only his bowels
> rehabilitation but that he has been corrected.
>
> I appreciate you sharing about you, your bowels,
> and prison groan thrones. The food must be awful,
> could you let me and others with bowel problems
> know what types of cuisines you had. Also I'm
> curious about what the groan thrones were like.


I actually worked in the kitchen and cafeteria at red onion as a trustee. Most of the food is canned food but there was a commercial bakery somewhere near the prison that brought in bread. The eggs were powdered except for Sunday morning eggs. The only decent meal we got was Sunday breakfast and everyone looked forward to it. I used to make 6 gallons of grits for breakfast many mornings and yes we did make the confinement loaf for prisoners that were in seg and were being punished beyond the normal seg treatment.
Confinement loaf was made from leftovers, everything was put in a big food processor and mixed up then water or flour was added to make it into a paste that was spread on a pan and baked. The confinement loaf was cut into squares and served by itself and required no utensils to eat it. Those seg guys got nothing but loaf and water for weeks on end, 3 meals a day. The loaf met the state standards for nutrition though.
During the day you had to time your pooping for times that your cellie was out of the cell. There were times however when you had no choice but to poop after lock-down. It is bad to have to poop in a tiny cell with another person inches away from you. Worst thing I ever saw in there was a fight over a block of jello where a guy bit off the nose of another guy who stole his desert, there was so much blood it was unreal.
I ended up there because I hit a cocky little Sheriffs deputy in the face while I was in a little jail for a minor offense. I was charged with assaulting a police officer and attempted escape. That got me a six year sentence even though I never tried to escape they pinned that charge on me.

Red Onion you have provided a beautifully penned number of reasons, why prison reform needs to happen. Inmates are people too, and we must be considerate of their bowels.

This food and these situations cause those with IBS to have a slew of problems. I sit here with my rectum clenched, as the idea of powdered eggs and those awful loaves is frightening.

You have really exposed the prison industrys lack of regard for bowels. I think each of us should write to the warden of Red Onion, and describe our displeasure. Its not right for inmates to have these bowel busting foods and policies involving the groan throne.

How were the deputies bowels, and the bowels of Mr. No Nose? Do you think a MSNBC lockup on bowels, would be a good show idea? I'm so truly sorry but thankful for your insights.

Mucous capsules have been made. The drying process took a long time, but I feel as if this is worth the time. Rome wasn't built in a day, but extra mucous for someone with numerous digestive issues, could speed up this if my hypothesis is correct. The extraction is a lot of work and also time consuming. I doubt mucous can be replicated.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Red Onion you have provided a beautifully penned
> number of reasons, why prison reform needs to
> happen. Inmates are people too, and we must be
> considerate of their bowels.
>
> This food and these situations cause those with
> IBS to have a slew of problems. I sit here with
> my rectum clenched, as the idea of powdered eggs
> and those awful loaves is frightening.
>
> You have really exposed the prison industrys lack
> of regard for bowels. I think each of us should
> write to the warden of Red Onion, and describe our
> displeasure. Its not right for inmates to have
> these bowel busting foods and policies involving
> the groan throne.
>
> How were the deputies bowels, and the bowels of
> Mr. No Nose? Do you think a MSNBC lockup on
> bowels, would be a good show idea? I'm so truly
> sorry but thankful for your insights.


Thanks for your reply brown onion. I have pretty good bowels I think compared to some of the stuff I have been reading here they are better than I thought. I work for a water and sewer utility so you could say my life is shit.
Anyway I found a picture of loaf on google image. The loaf can contain dam near anything like salad,beans,rice,cereal,fruit,hamburger,cheese,nuts. We would blend it all together and add water if it was too thick and flour if it was too thin then smear it 3/4 inch thick on a couple huge greased baking pans and bake at 375 for about 25 min.
Attachments:

Wow red onion that is truly gross. That's something I might be passing, as my bowels woke me up. The straining grimacing lip biting has begun.

That's incredible you survived this food. Its not right people required to eat this.

Since you work in that department you must see a lot of shit indeed. Please accept my apology for blockages, as I know my craps are pick up truck size.

Working with mucous all night was exhausting.

The turkey chili has cleaned out my bowels. I cant imagine anything is left in there. The gas I am blasting out now is highly, highly offensive. Really strong and pungent odor. Almost smells like a tractor trailer accident on a hot July afternoon. It is bad. My wife has sent me to my cave and she is spraying febreze down the stairwell. Oh well, I can go for a walk then take a short nap before football comes on.

Dr Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Working with mucous all night was exhausting.

Yes, but wasn't it fun!
Attachments:

What did you guys think of the methane leak in Cali?

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What did you guys think of the methane leak in
> Cali?

An everyday occurrence , as far as my Schphinkter is concerned.

Now, a Philippine type mudslide is what my colon really needs.

More test tubes are useful for the mucous. Now going to be able to successfully have two control groups. One is being set aside in damp/dark conditions to see if spores are a possibility .

Sometimes when I drop a deuce, the log releases bubbles like an alka-seltzer. Anybody have an explanation for this? I don't drink sodas.

Plop plop fizz fizz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sometimes when I drop a deuce, the log releases
> bubbles like an alka-seltzer. Anybody have an
> explanation for this? I don't drink sodas.


I am going to go off the wall here, but hear me out. Perhaps the gas trapped in your stool is reacting with the acidic nature of your toilet's water. Are you using any toilet cleaner? The chemicals there might be reacting somehow.Just an offhand guess, since I'm no chemist.I did pass the Medical exam, though.

I sit here in abject horror.

What just rolled out of my rectum could be a new alien species.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I sit here in abject horror.
>
> What just rolled out of my rectum could be a new
> alien species.


You ahould eat it and see how it comes out next time around.

Good morning bowel buddies. 5am guy just says hi!

Got a topical tale to tell, will check back later this week.

gatsby Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I sit here in abject horror.
> >
> > What just rolled out of my rectum could be a
> new
> > alien species.
>
>
> You ahould eat it and see how it comes out next
> time around.


Nah I'll throw it at you and Mr 5 am glad to hear from you.

How are your bowels?

Good morning 5 am and BO. Hope your bowels are well today.

Mucous tends to freeze just barely slower than water. I believe this fluid, without extraction against what I was hoping, that might cause issues with the lozenges. This could be a setback for that use of mucous. Its going to be a busy day.

I could have used some mucous this morning, passing a behemoth uberstool

No mold spores yet from the mucous, but it does work as a cooking oil, after byproducts are removed. I'm starting to think instead of oral use perhaps rectal if this extra mucous can be properly inserted.

It's bad enough being sodomized on my doctors steel metal table, but to have to contend with his janitors sneer is embarrassing. After being groped and probably getting to 3rd base with the thick fingered man, I get visual abuse from some south of the border wetback, who sends money to his abuela, so she doesn't have to eat just iguana and pineapple.

The fecal matter has been separated from the largest bash of mucous yet. If anyone has coffee or stimulants, I don't think I'll be sleeping. Since colon mucous is a rare commodity it's time to roll up my sleeves and get to work.

Wings and beers. What was I thinking?

Hello all, 5am guy checking in again. I had a bad experience with my bowels on Sunday. A couple of my college buddies took me via uber to watch the Minnesota game at Fosters. Well I had about 4 or 5 IPA's and a shitload of wings along with those celery sticks and ranch dressing they give you. Next thing you know I had to make a mad dash for the can, this was a true emergency. I ran in the can in quite a panic and blew a massive load of butt lava in the bowel, foul smelling and noisy. It was then that I noticed the tampon box on the wall. I was in the ladies room! I had to sit there and wait for two girls to leave the room so I could run to the mens room and wash my hands.
That could have been bad, 5am guy could have gotten arrested for being a drunken pervert!

Here's hoping for happy brown trails for all!

If anyone has more mucous please let me know. I burned a good quantity with the burner last night.

My food choices are the worst. I should learn to stop but it's difficult.

Best OT thread of 2015.

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all, 5am guy checking in again. I had a bad
> experience with my bowels on Sunday. A couple of
> my college buddies took me via uber to watch the
> Minnesota game at Fosters. Well I had about 4 or 5
> IPA's and a shitload of wings along with those
> celery sticks and ranch dressing they give you.
> Next thing you know I had to make a mad dash for
> the can, this was a true emergency. I ran in the
> can in quite a panic and blew a massive load of
> butt lava in the bowel, foul smelling and noisy.
> It was then that I noticed the tampon box on the
> wall. I was in the ladies room! I had to sit there
> and wait for two girls to leave the room so I
> could run to the mens room and wash my hands.
> That could have been bad, 5am guy could have
> gotten arrested for being a drunken pervert!
>
> Here's hoping for happy brown trails for all!


Oh man you slid out of deep shit there Mr 5 am. Almost the worst way of bowel betrayal but glad you and your bowels were safe.

I hope the brothers in bowel are doing OK this morning. A look at my rectum in the mirror doesn't look promising.

5 am guy: Any port/toilet in a bowel storm, I say. Glad you weren't led away in cuffs.

Diced: It is tough giving up/limiting the amount of the foods you love. I still succumb to pepperoni and jalapeno pizzas every now and then. I make sure it's an evening meal where I can remain home the next morning for the eventual colonic distress.

BO: This BiB (Brother-in-Bowel) is doing fine, thanks for asking. Coffee did the trick again this morning.

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5 am guy: Any port/toilet in a bowel storm, I
> say. Glad you weren't led away in cuffs.
>
> Diced: It is tough giving up/limiting the amount
> of the foods you love. I still succumb to
> pepperoni and jalapeno pizzas every now and then.
> I make sure it's an evening meal where I can
> remain home the next morning for the eventual
> colonic distress.
>
> BO: This BiB (Brother-in-Bowel) is doing fine,
> thanks for asking. Coffee did the trick again
> this morning.


BiB, I like that!!

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5 am guy: Any port/toilet in a bowel storm, I
> say. Glad you weren't led away in cuffs.
>
> Diced: It is tough giving up/limiting the amount
> of the foods you love. I still succumb to
> pepperoni and jalapeno pizzas every now and then.
> I make sure it's an evening meal where I can
> remain home the next morning for the eventual
> colonic distress.
>
> BO: This BiB (Brother-in-Bowel) is doing fine,
> thanks for asking. Coffee did the trick again
> this morning.


Glad to hear that Deadly. And to dive diced and all brothers in bowel more tomorrow but my ass really hurts.

Okay I'm going to share my tale, although its done much but leave me with a sore tail.

Today I took a Uber ride, which was recommended by my son. For once it wasn't a Somalian terrorist, but rather a hispanic guy that obviously had his shit together. I liked his yellow Celica a lot, although it appears the back seats may now be brown.

Its embarrassing to have to crap so bad, that you browncap it in a person's car, especially one that you are paying. Its as if your colon is praying a cruel joke, and there's nothing you can do.

This man kicked me out, complained about the various scents, as I was going to the grocery store. I did arrive there eventually, but having a stinky time with that bathroom's groan throne. Then my son picking me up, and for whatever reason wearing a clothes pin and a disguise for whatever reason.

I knew that I probably shouldn't have gone out, but once again my bowels betrayed me.

"Browntown"


When you're alone and your colon is twitching
You can always go, to browntown
When you've got worries, about crapping your pants
you can always go, to browntown

Just listen to the music of others that are shitting
Linger in the stall where the graffiti is so pretty
How can you lose?
The lights are much dimmer there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares

So go to browntown
Things will be great when you're in browntown
No finer place for sure, browntown
Everything's waiting for you.......






5am guy endorses this groan throne locator app.

http://www.cintas.com/customer_applications/wheretowee/default.html

Mr 5 am, ah that is a great rendition of the song. You have made a fellow brother in bowel laugh, and I'm a bit old, so does that groan throne finder work on cell phones?

The colon mucous is not easy to manipulate. It is frustrating and I am beyond exhausted. I still believe strongly in its potential, but between mucous extraction and various experiments being high maintenance, I'm calling it for a day.

I looked at the mirror. Goulash is in the forecast.

I do enjoy the song parodies other BiBs post (thanks for the most recent one 5am!). I wonder if we can petition Weird Al to make an album of them. He could call it "The Brown Album" much like the Beatles' "White Album."

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I do enjoy the song parodies other BiBs post
> (thanks for the most recent one 5am!). I wonder
> if we can petition Weird Al to make an album of
> them. He could call it "The Brown Album" much
> like the Beatles' "White Album."


That would be great and as Weird Al has aged, it's more likely than not his bowels have betrayed him.

Today I thought earlier reminiscing over Dom Delouise. Obviously he was overweight, but a caring fun man. I wonder how his bowels were.

The mucous has been converted to cooking oil, over an open flame, and this wax substance is being frozen. If correct I believe I'll be able to make ice cubes, that can be placed in beverages of people with digestive problems. A new form of Metamucil if you will.

Dr.Diarrhea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The mucous has been converted to cooking oil, over
> an open flame, and this wax substance is being
> frozen. If correct I believe I'll be able to make
> ice cubes, that can be placed in beverages of
> people with digestive problems. A new form of
> Metamucil if you will.


How's Woodburn?

More leakage today, sigh.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> More leakage today, sigh.


Do you need a bucket? So sorry.

Sorry to hear that Dive. Have you ever looked through the products at this website?

www.hdis.com

Might find something to help.

The mucous experiments are done for today. There has been a lot of trial and error but I believe some people here have relief on the way. I will rest but not give up

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sorry to hear that Dive. Have you ever looked
> through the products at this website?
>
> www.hdis.com
>
> Might find something to help.


That's a very interesting site.

I hope you guys are doing good. Today my uber driver was an Iranian, and surprisingly he not only wasn't a terrorist, he also suffers from bowel woes. A fruitful discussion. Much like that Afghanistan book "Three Cups of Shit."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/13/2016 06:06PM by Brown Onion.

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sorry to hear that Dive. Have you ever looked
> through the products at this website?
>
> www.hdis.com
>
> Might find something to help

Thanks Deadly. I do exaggerate a bit regarding my condition but thank you very much for that link!

Brown Control to Major Tom
Brown Control to Major Tom
Take your laxative and put the toilet seat down
Brown Control to Major Tom
Commencing countdown, Vent fan on
Check for shit stains and may God's love be with you
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Lift-off
This is Brown Control to Major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the plumbers want to know what dish you ate
Now it's time to leave the stall if you dare
This is Major Tom to Brown Control
I'm straining through the floor
And my shit stinks in a most peculiar way
And my colon feels very different today
For here
Am I sitting in a shit can
Far behind the office
My butthole is through
And there's nothing I can do
Though I ate that burrito hours ago
I'm feeling very ill
And I think this toilet is going to overflow
Tell my wife I love her very much (she knows!)
Brown Control to Major Tom
The toilets clogged, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear....
Here am I shitting in my tin can
Far behind the office
My butthole is through
And there's nothing I can do

Well, I took me a shit and she looks like floater
Ol' Mississippi, she's callin' my name
Toilets a flushin'
The water is rushin'
Brown water keeps circlin on down the drain
Old brown water, keep on rollin'
Mississippi poop, won't you please stop cloggin' on me
Old brown water, keep on rollin'
Mississippi poop, won't you please stop cloggin' on me
Old brown water, keep on rollin'
Mississippi poop, won't you please stop cloggin' on me
Yeah, keep on flushin' tonight
Gonna make everything, pretty mama
Gonna make everything all right
And I ain't got no worries
'Cause I ain't in no hurry at all

Well, if it rains, I don't care
Don't make no difference to me
Just take that stall at the bus station downtown
Yeah, I'd like to eat some funky laxatives
And shit a big king kong
And ev'rybody thinks it stinks all 'roun'

Hey! 5am guy likes those songs especially the brown control to major tom. That is good stuff right there.

Sometimes I feel like rocket man, working all night alone. I cant give out too much personal info here but my job is a form of babysitting for several server rooms. I take the dumps while the city sleeps baby!

Happy brown trails to all my BiB's out there, be safe and be cool my friends.

I listen to this song loud as hell in the middle of the night,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gYIbMwswKM

I thank you for these songs as laughter for the bowel trodden is appreciated.

Muslims with explosive bowels must yell holy Shiite

A lot of my equipment is primitive compared to most laboratories. I did complete several mucous tablets which is good news. Later today I hope to find a person or persons who will try this mucous to see if it helps.

Working on a propellant as well. I might have to find compounds such as baking soda and vinegar to expedite the mucous through the digestive system.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deadly combo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Sorry to hear that Dive. Have you ever looked
> > through the products at this website?
> >
> > www.hdis.com
> >
> > Might find something to help
>
> Thanks Deadly. I do exaggerate a bit regarding my
> condition but thank you very much for that link!

Happy to help in any way I can, Dive!

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Deadly combo Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Sorry to hear that Dive. Have you ever
> looked
> > > through the products at this website?
> > >
> > > www.hdis.com
> > >
> > > Might find something to help
> >
> > Thanks Deadly. I do exaggerate a bit regarding
> my
> > condition but thank you very much for that
> link!
>
> Happy to help in any way I can, Dive!


These write ups, all of them aren't exaggeration, but rather immature write ups to dissuade people from seeing a board certified GI Doctor. No shame whatsoever.

Is it wrong that I go to work with paper towels in my ass crack?

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is it wrong that I go to work with paper towels in
> my ass crack?


Yes! While not the softest on our cheeks or starfish, sometimes extreme measures are called for. While obviously not best, it's better than some large Afghani with thick digits using his hand to clean your ass afterwards.

Do you have options such as wet towelettes? I carry a fanny pack with lots of them in my bowel bag.

Da bowelz be out of order. Deez bowelz need check. Bowelz lol

I made a horrible decision. IHOP had coupons. I couldn't resist. It wasn't meant but I ate there and hope to survive this.

Diced onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I made a horrible decision. IHOP had coupons. I
> couldn't resist. It wasn't meant but I ate there
> and hope to survive this.


Rooty, Tooty, Fresh and Fruity?

It happens to us all Diced. Those heaps of pancakes, that melting butter, and syrups of every color are irresistible.

Personally I think such establishments should have warning signs "not bowel friendly."

If it makes you feel better, I think what's coming up is going to look like the sign at their Fairfax location, albeit with sharp edges.

This is a bowel friendly breakfast.
Attachments:

Plop plop fizz fizz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sometimes when I drop a deuce, the log releases
> bubbles like an alka-seltzer. Anybody have an
> explanation for this? I don't drink sodas.

Let me guess: the bubbly bowel movement was preceded by a lot of farting? Those bubbles you witnessed would have been released as farts if the log had stayed in your poop shoot longer.

line cook Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is a bowel friendly breakfast.


Um no. That's literally the apocalypse.

Posted by: Brown Onion ()
> If it makes you feel better, I think what's coming
> up is going to look like the sign at their Fairfax
> location, albeit with sharp edges.

Do you mean “what’s coming out...”? So, you think his poop will look like this - blue with white letters?
Attachments:

Got the day off for a 4 day weekend. The wife and I are towing the camper to a campground in central Va that has great toilets. Dobut I will have wifi down there so I just wanted to wish all my BiB's a happy holiday weekend!

Enjoy your vacation Dive!

causeican Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Posted by: Brown Onion ()
> > If it makes you feel better, I think what's
> coming
> > up is going to look like the sign at their
> Fairfax
> > location, albeit with sharp edges.
>
> Do you mean “what’s coming out...”? So, you
> think his poop will look like this - blue with
> white letters?

Imagine that size and shape, albeit brown and smelly in color, going through a 1" hose.

Along with deadly I wish you and your bowels a wonderful weekend

line cook Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is a bowel friendly breakfast.

LOL! Unlikely for the sufferers here. Since I'm just a sympathizer, I would relish a meal like that, although I don't believe I could consume the quantity pictured in a single sitting. I'd take a pass on the mushrooms (not a breakfast item in my book). I'd also require some intel on what's under the tomatos (can't quite make it out from the pic). Otherwise it does look tasty to me.

I am going to the doctors today. A metal collar, restraints, a leash, cold metal table, thick fingers, and clothes pins on nasal passages.

Its not going to be fun, rather a shitty time of being denounced for my hard earned money. All I'll have to show for it is a sad face and a sore rear end.

Hoping the uber driver with the middle eastern accent won't blow up the car, as it's almost the weekend after all.