Try gentle exercise. Take a short walk each day. ...
Make sure you drink enough fluids. ...
Include fruits, vegetables, and fiber in your diet each day. ...
Schedule time each day for a bowel movement (after breakfast, for example).

so very simple Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Try gentle exercise. Take a short walk each day.
> ...
> Make sure you drink enough fluids. ...
> Include fruits, vegetables, and fiber in your
> diet each day. ...
> Schedule time each day for a bowel movement
> (after breakfast, for example).


Ignorance is bliss. It's not that simple.

5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in again. 5am guy has the
> black lights set up in the mens room. 5am guy has
> it set up so the black lights can be stashed above
> the ceiling tiles during the day. 5am guy would
> love to have a blacklight party like these
> people,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZbGxFjmso4
>
> Seeing as how 5am guy has no girlfriend and very
> few friends the black light party seems unlikely.
> 5am guy wishes everyone good bowels.


Nobody cares about your stupid shit. You should seriously consider killing yourself.

I like your approach 5 am. My hope is this brings some needed relief to your bowels.

so very simple Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Try gentle exercise. Take a short walk each day.
> ...
> Make sure you drink enough fluids. ...
> Include fruits, vegetables, and fiber in your
> diet each day. ...
> Schedule time each day for a bowel movement
> (after breakfast, for example).


This is a thread about scat fetish not actual health. If the poster here (using several screen names talking to himself) has any IBS its secondary to their desire to discuss bodily functions for gratification. Notice the terms used are all fetish derived - 'starfish,' 'groan throne,' 'midwives.'

I wish my bowels would expel this monstrosity.

If you hear screaming I apologize

Coprophilia

Coprophilia (from Greek excrement and philía—liking, fondness), also called scatophilia or scat, is the paraphilia involving sexual arousal and pleasure from feces. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published by the American Psychiatric Association, it is classified under 302.89 – Paraphilia NOS (Not Otherwise Specified) and has no diagnostic criteria other than a general statement about paraphilias that says "the diagnosis is made if the behavior, sexual urges, or fantasies cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning". Furthermore, the DSM-IV-TR notes, "Fantasies, behaviors, or objects are paraphilic only when they lead to clinically significant distress or impairment (e.g. are obligatory, result in sexual dysfunction, require participation of nonconsenting individuals, lead to legal complications, interfere with social relationships)".

Although there may be no connection between coprophilia and sadomasochism(SM), the limited data on the former comes from studies of the latter. A study of 164 males in Finland from two SM clubs found that 18.2% had engaged in coprophilia; 3% as a sadist, 6.1% as a masochist, and 9.1% as both. 18% of heterosexuals and 17% of homosexuals in the study pool had tried coprophilia, showing no statistically significant difference between heterosexuals and homosexuals. In a separate article analyzing 12 men who engaged in bestiality, an additional analysis of an 11-man subgroup revealed that 6 had engaged in coprophilic behavior, compared with only 1 in the matched control group consisting of 12 SM-oriented males who did not engage in bestiality.

IBS is not a joke.

Fuck you all.

true IBS sufferer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> IBS is not a joke.
>
> Fuck you all.


A bullshit post. If you really were you'd agree with us.

Seek Mental Health Care Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Coprophilia
>
> Coprophilia (from Greek excrement and
> philía—liking, fondness), also called
> scatophilia or scat, is the paraphilia involving
> sexual arousal and pleasure from feces. In the
> Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
> Disorders (DSM), published by the American
> Psychiatric Association, it is classified under
> 302.89 – Paraphilia NOS (Not Otherwise
> Specified) and has no diagnostic criteria other
> than a general statement about paraphilias that
> says "the diagnosis is made if the behavior,
> sexual urges, or fantasies cause clinically
> significant distress or impairment in social,
> occupational, or other important areas of
> functioning". Furthermore, the DSM-IV-TR notes,
> "Fantasies, behaviors, or objects are paraphilic
> only when they lead to clinically significant
> distress or impairment (e.g. are obligatory,
> result in sexual dysfunction, require
> participation of nonconsenting individuals, lead
> to legal complications, interfere with social
> relationships)".
>
> Although there may be no connection between
> coprophilia and sadomasochism(SM), the limited
> data on the former comes from studies of the
> latter. A study of 164 males in Finland from two
> SM clubs found that 18.2% had engaged in
> coprophilia; 3% as a sadist, 6.1% as a masochist,
> and 9.1% as both. 18% of heterosexuals and 17% of
> homosexuals in the study pool had tried
> coprophilia, showing no statistically significant
> difference between heterosexuals and homosexuals.
> In a separate article analyzing 12 men who engaged
> in bestiality, an additional analysis of an 11-man
> subgroup revealed that 6 had engaged in
> coprophilic behavior, compared with only 1 in the
> matched control group consisting of 12 SM-oriented
> males who did not engage in bestiality.

This definitely applies to the poster here that posts under several names. Pretends to engage in humor or even therapeutic discussion about physical problems but this faux discourse does not conceal the ultimate motivation - Coprophilia.

When I was in the army we had to poop in the snow sometimes and use snowballs to wipe! Man the thought of snowballs on the wrinkled star would make me try to stay in my sleeping bag as long as I could possibly hold my load.

TGIF BiBs! Here's hoping for bucolic bowels for everyone this weekend!

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> TGIF BiBs! Here's hoping for bucolic bowels for
> everyone this weekend!


Great vocabulary deadly. Bucolic is a word I haven't heard in a long time. May you and everyone's bowels cooperate.

It's Friday. No more carrying around the briefcase for messes.

Medicare and adult diaper delivery problems are tiring. It's not like I can afford on retirement savings a lot for these. If anyone knows any place other than subcontractors to order from let me know.

I sit upon my worn groan throne
All I can do is simply moan
My butt hurts, this is true
I'm trying to expel a nasty poo

The midwives are ready in case I call
Or when I'm grunting I take a fall
I feel sympathy for my starfish
Goulash is what it looks as I wish

To expel this brown matter I'd be happy
Until this explosion of pain I won't be sappy
The stretching rectum knows of the pain
It's like the saying, Remember the Maine!

On the wall is a framed Bristol Stool Guide
It's a reminder I have nothing to hide
Except worrying about my bowels that are trouble
I'd like to leave this methane enclosed bubble.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deadly combo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > TGIF BiBs! Here's hoping for bucolic bowels
> for
> > everyone this weekend!
>
>
> Great vocabulary deadly. Bucolic is a word I
> haven't heard in a long time. May you and
> everyone's bowels cooperate.

Great double post BO oh and bowels cannot be or have the quality of being 'bucolic' so its actually very poor diction (and errant vocabulary). Is there a way you can keep this scat fetish thread going by posting under multiple names without revealing your low level of education?

poor diction Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Deadly combo Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > TGIF BiBs! Here's hoping for bucolic bowels
> > for
> > > everyone this weekend!
> >
> >
> > Great vocabulary deadly. Bucolic is a word I
> > haven't heard in a long time. May you and
> > everyone's bowels cooperate.
>
> Great double post BO oh and bowels cannot be or
> have the quality of being 'bucolic' so its
> actually very poor diction (and errant
> vocabulary). Is there a way you can keep this
> scat fetish thread going by posting under multiple
> names without revealing your low level of
> education?


How are your bowels? Please tell everyone what it's like having a #4 #2.

Every dump you take

by Jhonny Bravo


Every dump you take
Every wipe you make
Every groan throne you break
Every sitz bath you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
Every turd you lay
Every time you take a sick day
Every night you pray
I'll be watching you

Oh can't you see
You are important to me
My poor heart aches
With every ass earthquake

Every big brown snake
Every blood vessel you break
Every smile you fake
Every call to the plumber you make
I'll be watching you

Cramping in my gut
My colon gurgles and churns
Spraying liquid stool

Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Every dump you take
>
> by Jhonny Bravo
>
>
> Every dump you take
> Every wipe you make
> Every groan throne you break
> Every sitz bath you take
> I'll be watching you
>
> Every single day
> Every turd you lay
> Every time you take a sick day
> Every night you pray
> I'll be watching you
>
> Oh can't you see
> You are important to me
> My poor heart aches
> With every ass earthquake
>
> Every big brown snake
> Every blood vessel you break
> Every smile you fake
> Every call to the plumber you make
> I'll be watching you


Welcome back Mr. Bravo. Brilliant!

Bet you want a slice of that sizzling pizza made by wops.

It smells delicious, but those eggplants have revenge in mind on your bowels.

The thirty three feet of upper and lower intestines won't like it.

It's rather rude to your colon, to partake in such devil approved delicacies.

Your bowels will take the brunt of the blitzkrieg. Your gas chamber down below will produce zyklon B, and manufacturer a rotten egg smell, that will peel your bathrooms wallpaper.

I think of you all daily

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Bet you want a slice of that sizzling pizza made
> by wops.
>
> It smells delicious, but those eggplants have
> revenge in mind on your bowels.
>
> The thirty three feet of upper and lower
> intestines won't like it.
>
> It's rather rude to your colon, to partake in such
> devil approved delicacies.
>
> Your bowels will take the brunt of the blitzkrieg.
> Your gas chamber down below will produce zyklon B,
> and manufacturer a rotten egg smell, that will
> peel your bathrooms wallpaper.


When I eat at pizza hut I like to eat an entire pan pizza with onion, mushroom and bacon.

later on in the day my bowels start to feel like THIS,,,,,,
Attachments:

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Bet you want a slice of that sizzling pizza made
> by wops.
>
> It smells delicious, but those eggplants have
> revenge in mind on your bowels.
>
> The thirty three feet of upper and lower
> intestines won't like it.
>
> It's rather rude to your colon, to partake in such
> devil approved delicacies.
>
> Your bowels will take the brunt of the blitzkrieg.
> Your gas chamber down below will produce zyklon B,
> and manufacturer a rotten egg smell, that will
> peel your bathrooms wallpaper.

Hi Brown! The wife and I are leaving in a hour or so to visit our old neighbors in the Fairfax area and there is talk of having a late lunch at some fancy French restaurant in old town Manassas before we head back to Harrisonburg. This news has put my bowels on high alert. Mrs Dive rolled her eyes when I expressed a concern about a nearly two hour drive after eating french food. I will let you know how this turns out.
How are you and Matilda doing?

Hi there dive,

Nice to hear from you, and French food while delicious, can destroy ones bowels like the ultimate battle of the bulge. My hope is your bowels hold up, and that you don't drop Jaques Chirac out your starfish. Or an angry Charles de Gaulle.

My sister Matilda is doing okay after being part of some strange BDSM experience at the doctors office. Her butt is still sore and her rectum has definitely stretched out a bit.

I honestly don't know what to make of this forum. Some things make me laugh but there is also a presence of evil and/or hatred here. The poetry and song parodies are really something else. I am having a good day today because I managed to do you know what this morning. I think just sharing that fact just made me feel even better. I hope that the sincere authors here are doing well too.

^BO posting under assumed name. No of course the poems are neither creative nor funny. The song parodies appear to be written by someone of low upbringing. Im sorry you life is so lonely and empty of meaning you post so much under a bodily function thread that is only meant to stimulate your excitement over a strange and filthy fetish.

Kathleen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I honestly don't know what to make of this forum.
> Some things make me laugh but there is also a
> presence of evil and/or hatred here. The poetry
> and song parodies are really something else. I am
> having a good day today because I managed to do
> you know what this morning. I think just sharing
> that fact just made me feel even better. I hope
> that the sincere authors here are doing well too.


Hi Kathleen,

Some people with superior bowels, like to rain on our parade. Unfortunately just like the so called medical professionals, they treat us with indifference, cruelty, and like a bunch of lepers. They accuse us of being scat fans or other insults.

Yet their shit doesn't stick. Our bowels do cause us problems, but we persevere in a sea of brown. Feel free to share how your bowels are doing, good, bad or in between.

User name Kathleen,

I'd strongly recommend avoiding these losers write ups, and to see a board certified GI.

Avoid the Vienna Community Center. After volunteering, my bowels were hurt by the TP. Just very painful and got wet wipes and bandages to stop the bleeding.

Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> User name Kathleen,
>
> I'd strongly recommend avoiding these losers write
> ups, and to see a board certified GI.

Funny how the Doc mentions losers. GI's are the bottom feeders of the medical profession. That's why sufferers of IBS never seem to get relief or cured.

However, graduating from the lowest rated banana republic medical school did not result in any humility for our Doc. GI's are well known for their arrogance and filthy fingernails.

I still haven't dropped the oversized basketball, but the fumes of napalm, are an indication that tonight's going to hurt.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I still haven't dropped the oversized basketball,
> but the fumes of napalm, are an indication that
> tonight's going to hurt.


Scat obsessed individuals, whom are sick. Probably need a mentle health person to work with them for years.

Scat Fetish Wrote:
>
>
> Scat obsessed individuals, whom are sick. Probably
> need a mentle health person to work with them for
> years.

Apparently, you're equally obsessed with this thread, and need an English teacher.

Please feel free to check in again when you've mastered our language on at least a fifth grade level.

My butt is like the Kennedy Flame
always burning and forever same
I wish my bowels would provide a break
Yet all I get is a goulash like steak.

Sitting on the groan throne, moaning in pain,
My starfish being tended by midwife Mary Jane,
The rectum looks like the Los Angeles tar pits
Its amazing that it still makes shits.

The brown matter has quite a smell
My bathroom soon is too scary for hell
The devil is afraid I'll destroy the fire
As my butt brings screams that make him dire

I wish my bowels worked, yes I do
But all I can do is scream and poo
Large oversized objects that cause me to strain
Oh how I would love to not deal with the pain.

My sister Matilda has shown me great care
As she brings my rectal mirror the speed of a hare
I wish the midwives would stop smoking
But perhaps its better than toking.

They are underpaid but I appreciate their work
I know they must think I'm some kind of jerk
Yet its not me, no its my bowels you see
and whats left of my fish is a busted up tree.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Scat Fetish Wrote:
> >
> >
> > Scat obsessed individuals, whom are sick.
> Probably
> > need a mentle health person to work with them
> for
> > years.
>
> Apparently, you're equally obsessed with this
> thread, and need an English teacher.
>
> Please feel free to check in again when you've
> mastered our language on at least a fifth grade
> level.

I think he is a new convert - the poster that usually busts your chops uses words like "poor diction (and errant vocabulary)"

poserposter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Scat Fetish Wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > Scat obsessed individuals, whom are sick.
> > Probably
> > > need a mentle health person to work with them
> > for
> > > years.
> >
> > Apparently, you're equally obsessed with this
> > thread, and need an English teacher.
> >
> > Please feel free to check in again when you've
> > mastered our language on at least a fifth grade
> > level.
>
> I think he is a new convert - the poster that
> usually busts your chops uses words like "poor
> diction (and errant vocabulary)"


Thank you poser poster for your great observational skills. Would you like to discuss your bowels with us by any chance?

Jhonny bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Just My Imagination"
>
> by Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
> Each day on my groan throne
> I feel my turds passing by
> I say to myself
> You're such a lucky guy
> To have bowels like that
> Is truly a dream come true
> Out of all the bowels in the world
> these belong to you
>
> But it was just my imagination (once again)
> Runnin' away with me
> Seems it was just my imagination
> Runnin' away with me
>
> Soon I'll be finished pooping
> And spend time with my family, oh yeah
> Have a cozy little house in the country
> Take two dumps every day, maybe even three
> I tell you I can visualize it all
> This couldn't be a dream, for all too real it all
> seems
>
> But it was just my imagination (once again)
> Runnin' away with me
> Seems it was just my imagination
> Runnin' away with me
>
> Every night on my knees I pray
> Dear Lord hear my plea
> Don't let my bowels go awry
> For I would surely die
> My bowels are so heavenly
> When my bowels exit me I hear a tender rhapsody
> But in reality, it doesn't go that way for me
>
> 'Cause it was just my imagination (once again)
> Runnin' away with me
> Seems it was just my imagination
> Runnin' away with me


This song parody from last spring actually made me cry (in a good way)

Kathleen I'm glad you've also found Mr. Bravo therapeutic. He's a brown gem.

Scat Fetish Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I still haven't dropped the oversized
> basketball,
> > but the fumes of napalm, are an indication that
> > tonight's going to hurt.
>
>
> Scat obsessed individuals, whom are sick. Probably
> need a mentle health person to work with them for
> years.

while your point is correct your English is like the poop these poor bastards fixate on.

Stanton Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Scat Fetish Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > I still haven't dropped the oversized
> > basketball,
> > > but the fumes of napalm, are an indication
> that
> > > tonight's going to hurt.
> >
> >
> > Scat obsessed individuals, whom are sick.
> Probably
> > need a mentle health person to work with them
> for
> > years.
>
> while your point is correct your English is like
> the poop these poor bastards fixate on.


How are your bowels?

^Bowels are a-ok as always. Im on a diet so not much production. I only eat 1200-1700 cal per day and much of that is from Kale and apple smoothies. I exercise 6/7 days @ ~4-6 hrs. per week of running, swimming or Mt. Biking. Im over 55 yrs. have a resting pulse rate of 50 and my BP is 110/65. I dont drink ETOH and I eat a mostly plant based diet (organic). I do not eat fast food and avoid most processed food most of the time.

Im sorry you have let your health and your body go over the cliff. Watch 'Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead' http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/weight-loss/ - its time for you to take painful and drastic measures. 6 months of suffering and you will be cured but you have to realize you are killing yourself first. Good luck and dont play with your scat its loaded with pathogens...

Our bowel movements are full of nasty germs, byproducts and such.

I'd love to hear more about your Bristol Stool Guide scores.

Anal cleansing is the hygienic practice of cleaning the anus directly after defecation.
The anus and buttocks may be either washed with liquids or wiped with toilet paper or other solid materials. In many Muslim, Hindu and Sikh cultures, as well as Southeast Asia, water is usually used for anal cleansing using a jet, as with a bidet, or splashed and washed with the hand. Some people follow this up with toilet paper afterwards for drying purposes.

In other cultures (such as most Western countries), cleaning after defecation is generally done with toilet paper only, although some individuals may use water as well for themselves or e.g. when changing babies' nappies.
In low-income settings of developing countries or during camping trips, materials such as vegetable material, mudballs, stones, sticks and leaves are also used.

Having a hygienic means for anal cleansing available at the toilet is important for overall public health. The absence of anal cleansing material in households can in some circumstances be correlated to the number of diarrhea episodes per household

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anal cleansing is the hygienic practice of
> cleaning the anus directly after defecation.
> The anus and buttocks may be either washed with
> liquids or wiped with toilet paper or other solid
> materials. In many Muslim, Hindu and Sikh
> cultures, as well as Southeast Asia, water is
> usually used for anal cleansing using a jet, as
> with a bidet, or splashed and washed with the
> hand. Some people follow this up with toilet paper
> afterwards for drying purposes.
>
> In other cultures (such as most Western
> countries), cleaning after defecation is generally
> done with toilet paper only, although some
> individuals may use water as well for themselves
> or e.g. when changing babies' nappies.
> In low-income settings of developing countries or
> during camping trips, materials such as vegetable
> material, mudballs, stones, sticks and leaves are
> also used.
>
> Having a hygienic means for anal cleansing
> available at the toilet is important for overall
> public health. The absence of anal cleansing
> material in households can in some circumstances
> be correlated to the number of diarrhea episodes
> per household


Fascinating shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCsdLABo08Y

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Our bowel movements are full of nasty germs,
> byproducts and such.
>
> I'd love to hear more about your Bristol Stool
> Guide scores.

id love to see you answer the call to health and stop your discussion about the effects of your poor health choices. Do you intentionally live a disgusting life in order to give you something to do, something to talk about?

loaded with pathogens... Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Our bowel movements are full of nasty germs,
> > byproducts and such.
> >
> > I'd love to hear more about your Bristol Stool
> > Guide scores.
>
> id love to see you answer the call to health and
> stop your discussion about the effects of your
> poor health choices. Do you intentionally live a
> disgusting life in order to give you something to
> do, something to talk about?

We have discussed colonic health, such as how it's rude to give ones colon unsafe items like pizza and cookies. We have discussed walking for health with our rectums whistling while checking our fitbits.

So, how are your bowels? Please enlighten us with your brilliant genius.

Still have open sores from the TP. I think if they don't heal today I'll make a doctor appointment.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> loaded with pathogens... Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Our bowel movements are full of nasty germs,
> > > byproducts and such.
> > >
> > > I'd love to hear more about your Bristol
> Stool
> > > Guide scores.
> >
> > id love to see you answer the call to health
> and
> > stop your discussion about the effects of your
> > poor health choices. Do you intentionally live
> a
> > disgusting life in order to give you something
> to
> > do, something to talk about?
>
> We have discussed colonic health, such as how it's
> rude to give ones colon unsafe items like pizza
> and cookies. We have discussed walking for health
> with our rectums whistling while checking our
> fitbits.
>
> So, how are your bowels? Please enlighten us with
> your brilliant genius.

Typical fat fuck with a heart condition and the shits - lazy and unwilling to change. Make sure to give your 'sister' your login info so we can talk to her when you fucking die. Speed things up and be an hero...

My butt really hurts after last nights episode. It would be delightful to have a #4 #2.

I have a fear of pooping in public restrooms. Sometimes i feel like i got to poop bad but can barely poop if im in a public restroom. Does anyone else have this problem?

Known as Avoidant Paruresis, it can affect men, women, and children.

You may be very uncomfortable using a public washroom and become anxious or agitated once you are in the bathroom stall or at the urinal.

Sometimes, this social anxiety disorder can make it difficult to actually go to the bathroom, as the muscles that control your bowel movements and your ability to urinate can freeze or tighten up.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Known as Avoidant Paruresis, it can affect men,
> women, and children.
>
> You may be very uncomfortable using a public
> washroom and become anxious or agitated once you
> are in the bathroom stall or at the urinal.
>
> Sometimes, this social anxiety disorder can make
> it difficult to actually go to the bathroom, as
> the muscles that control your bowel movements and
> your ability to urinate can freeze or tighten up.

Thanks for the info. When i was in college i had a real hard time pooping in dorm bathrooms. I would come back to the dorm in the middle of the day to try and poop while everyone was in class. It was horrible till my 4th year when i got my own apartment.

I agree with BEH's information. Many times on a groan throne, that's not my personal one. The idea of screaming, grunting, and sweating in public causes more angst. Or the snide remarks of fellow shitters.

Its painful but it is what it is.

A steak with macaroni is causing my bowels pain.

Poopin in prison waz very hard too get used to. I would pull my shirt up over my head. Some places dont even have any stalls, just a line of toilets. Some guys had no problem doing it and they would taunt others who were struggling.
When I was in red onion I had a kitchen job and the kitchen had a private bathroom so I tried to go poop there every day. The worst was having to go in your cell with your cellie just inches away. I was lucky to have a good cellie who would face the wall and cover his head with a blanket but the smell was another issue.

Diced these things happen. Shit happens is true.

Red Onion I am sorry you had to experience such shit. My letter to the department of corrections has gone unanswered. Every man should have his own groan and a bit of privacy. Especially when birthing something horrendous.

Your body knows what to do with the food you eat. After your stomach breaks down what you consume, your small intestine absorbs most of the nutrients into your bloodstream. The rest passes undigested to your large intestine and eventually out of your body as waste. The ease with which your large intestine, or colon, releases this waste largely depends on what you eat and drink.

The best foods to eat for healthy bowel movements are those that are high in fiber.

Healthy Bowel Movements

A normal bowel pattern ranges from three times daily to three times per week, states the American College of Gastroenterology. If you have fewer than three bowel movements a week, you may suffer from constipation, along with four million other Americans, according to the National Digestive Diseases Information Clearinghouse. Infrequent, hard, dry stools usually occur because waste moves too slowly through the large intestine, allowing time for water to be pulled from the stool. The presence of fiber can speed up transit time and draw water into your colon, resulting in soft, fluffy stools that are easy to pass.
Fruits and Vegetables
Forego juice and eat a variety of whole fruits and vegetables to maximize your fiber intake, advises the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics -- formerly known as the American Dietetic Association. A 1/2-cup serving of most fruits and vegetables contains up to 3 grams of fiber. Leave the skin on soft fruits, like pears and apples. Top your morning cereal with ½ cup of blackberries to add an additional 4 grams of fiber. Fortify your pasta sauce by adding shredded or pureed carrot, zucchini or bell pepper.

Whole Grains and Beans

Make half of your grains whole to reach the recommended daily fiber intake of 25 grams for women and 38 grams for men, advises the U.S. Department of Agriculture. Substitute refined grains, such as white rice and white bread, with brown rice and whole-wheat bread made from 100 percent whole-wheat flour. Beans and legumes are excellent sources of fiber. Add dried beans, peas or lentils to casseroles. Top your salad with ½ cup of garbanzo beans to boost your fiber intake by 4 grams.
Other Considerations


Increase your fiber intake gradually and drink at least 8 cups of water daily to avoid potential side effects of fiber, such as gas and bloating. The more fiber you consume, the more fluids you should drink. Heed the urge to go to the bathroom, warns the American College of Gastroenterology. The longer you wait, the more water your colon absorbs and the harder and drier your stools become.

well, I did it. somehow managed to clog up my Canadian toilet.

I can eat fiber and drink water until I'm blue in the face. All it does is make my almost impossible to pass stool multi colored.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> well, I did it. somehow managed to clog up my
> Canadian toilet.


Got any pictures dive? With or without the shit is fine, as I'd like to admire your canary yellow groan throne.

I wish. No I pray that my sister does not have an anal prolapse tonight .

I'm worried about going in today. No accidents yesterday. But you know how you feel diarrhea coming on? This is what's going on .

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I can eat fiber and drink water until I'm blue in
> the face. All it does is make my almost impossible
> to pass stool multi colored.


Try losing weight. Im guessing you are 100lbs+ over your target weight.

You will need to juice or smoothie it for a few months. By that I mean only veg and fruit and no sugar. You will need a big calorie deficit for months. Get an account on Supertracker https://www.supertracker.usda.gov/ and one at Strava https://www.strava.com/ Both are free (you can upgrade for a fee at Strava).

You will need to exercise to help with your calorie deficit and to gain fitness. Set a 10 day goal and stick to it. Then set an additional 60-90 day goal. You will find the hardest time is the first 3-7 days. Of course probably a good idea to check with your Dr. first.

By February you could be symptom free and you will feel 1000% better.

^people in this thread talk about what comes out because they are to stupid to consider what they put in their faces. Its the ultimate stupidity to complain about your elimination disregarding sources of nutrition and weight management.

Karen_G Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^people in this thread talk about what comes out
> because they are to stupid to consider what they
> put in their faces. Its the ultimate stupidity to
> complain about your elimination disregarding
> sources of nutrition and weight management.


Ok Karen actually what we do eat is part of the defecation process, but other factors such as anxiety or in my age, can cause bowel problems. As a young man I barely had an issue but with age I drop shits the size of that negro Colon Kapernick.

How are your bowels?

After the steak mistake my bowels feel better. Today I'm eating a lot of flax seed.

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Funny pics!

My office stall took a lot of work today. If only I could be focused more on my job than this.

Agreed a much needed laugh.

Splatter just remember it's your bowels. Not you.

I sit here wishing I could nap
Yet instead I take a big crap
People handle this with ease
As if they need to sneeze

In my case it's a heave and ho
With a scream to all who know
The pain of IBS is real
My bowels definitely squeal

The sweat on my forehead comes down
I go from a smile to a frown
Dropping large objects the size of a car
While people of all ages sit in a bar

My butt causes me trouble, this is true
My clenching cheeks feel like they're blue
Yet what comes out isn't that color, it's the size of a town
The stinky remnants of something that is brown.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Karen_G Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > ^people in this thread talk about what comes
> out
> > because they are to stupid to consider what
> they
> > put in their faces. Its the ultimate stupidity
> to
> > complain about your elimination disregarding
> > sources of nutrition and weight management.
>
>
> Ok Karen actually what we do eat is part of the
> defecation process, but other factors such as
> anxiety or in my age, can cause bowel problems. As
> a young man I barely had an issue but with age I
> drop shits the size of that negro Colon
> Kapernick.
>
> How are your bowels?

What is your height and weight? Let me guess, 5'11" 255lbs. Lifestyle - sedentary. Cardiac fitness - disease state.

Am I close? By the way, you might have less anxiety if you were kinder to others and were not racist.

I waz thinkin bout this thread yesterday when i waz in the bathroom of the manassas walmart. Some poor bastard waz in a stall moaning like a wounded bear and raking his feet across the floor wildly. I thinks to myself maybe thats good ole brown onion inthere lol.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I waz thinkin bout this thread yesterday when i
> waz in the bathroom of the manassas walmart. Some
> poor bastard waz in a stall moaning like a wounded
> bear and raking his feet across the floor wildly.
> I thinks to myself maybe thats good ole brown
> onion inthere lol.


Not this time although it could be my asshole younger brother Clarence

Karen_G Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Karen_G Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > ^people in this thread talk about what comes
> > out
> > > because they are to stupid to consider what
> > they
> > > put in their faces. Its the ultimate
> stupidity
> > to
> > > complain about your elimination disregarding
> > > sources of nutrition and weight management.
> >
> >
> > Ok Karen actually what we do eat is part of the
> > defecation process, but other factors such as
> > anxiety or in my age, can cause bowel problems.
> As
> > a young man I barely had an issue but with age
> I
> > drop shits the size of that negro Colon
> > Kapernick.
> >
> > How are your bowels?
>
> What is your height and weight? Let me guess,
> 5'11" 255lbs. Lifestyle - sedentary. Cardiac
> fitness - disease state.
>
> Am I close? By the way, you might have less
> anxiety if you were kinder to others and were not
> racist.

Not at all. And I have no problems with coloreds, spics, slant eyes, or dot heads.

Afternoon BiBs! Hope your bowels have been treating you kindly this week.

I sense an impending issue with mine (some distress and gurgling), but ok so far.

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Afternoon BiBs! Hope your bowels have been
> treating you kindly this week.
>
> I sense an impending issue with mine (some
> distress and gurgling), but ok so far.


Gurgling is a bad sign deadly. I hope your bowels stay intact.

I suppose the advice of some on here is well meaning, while also being condescending and quite frankly, inane.

My career, as it was, involved intensive labor. Even then, after work, and living in the city I'd be active, going here and there walking, catching trains, subways , buses.

Weekends was always outdoors. My diet was good, maybe a little heavy with the meat and carbs, but lots of vegetables and fruit. Almost no sweets, except on special occasions and a ice cream cone on hot summer days. Usually a glass or two a wine with dinner, 2 or 3 beers for ball games, a scotch and soda or two for parties.

Not perfect, but plenty of fiber, and since my job was kind of vigorous, plenty of water. Probably a gallon a day during work.

And I still would shit a bowling ball every three days. Agonizingly so.



Age, retirement and not being able to keep the same physical pace as before hurt a bit too.

Still, with plenty of walks, and work around the house , I'm as active as I can be without getting a hernia. . I'm even more careful with my diet... low fat, no simple sugars, high quality protein, with vegetables accounting for the majority of my calories. And yes, as much water as I can gag down , probably half a gallon a day, with less alcohol.

And an Oregon log jam is blocking my Schphikter as I speak.



So to all the scat fetish conspirators, the arrogant fitness freaks and Anon Doc. It's a malfunction of the body. Me, and others here have tried ALL the remedies, herbs, diets and lifestyles.

Believe me, you'll try anything to try to stop a Subaru from driving through your rectum twice a week.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I suppose the advice of some on here is well
> meaning, while also being condescending and quite
> frankly, inane.
>
> My career, as it was, involved intensive labor.
> Even then, after work, and living in the city I'd
> be active, going here and there walking, catching
> trains, subways , buses.
>
> Weekends was always outdoors. My diet was good,
> maybe a little heavy with the meat and carbs, but
> lots of vegetables and fruit. Almost no sweets,
> except on special occasions and a ice cream cone
> on hot summer days. Usually a glass or two a wine
> with dinner, 2 or 3 beers for ball games, a
> scotch and soda or two for parties.
>
> Not perfect, but plenty of fiber, and since my job
> was kind of vigorous, plenty of water. Probably a
> gallon a day during work.
>
> And I still would shit a bowling ball every three
> days. Agonizingly so.
>
>
>
> Age, retirement and not being able to keep the
> same physical pace as before hurt a bit too.
>
> Still, with plenty of walks, and work around the
> house , I'm as active as I can be without getting
> a hernia. . I'm even more careful with my diet...
> low fat, no simple sugars, high quality protein,
> with vegetables accounting for the majority of my
> calories. And yes, as much water as I can gag down
> , probably half a gallon a day, with less alcohol.
>
>
> And an Oregon log jam is blocking my Schphikter as
> I speak.
>
>
>
> So to all the scat fetish conspirators, the
> arrogant fitness freaks and Anon Doc. It's a
> malfunction of the body. Me, and others here have
> tried ALL the remedies, herbs, diets and
> lifestyles.
>
> Believe me, you'll try anything to try to stop a
> Subaru from driving through your rectum twice a
> week.

This is the best, most eloquent statement I've seen about what all of us brothers in bowel go through.

Well said and godspeed to you and your bowels BEH.

Still anticipating a volcanic eruption, BO. Trying to hold out a bit longer to allow things to "solidify" as best they can.

It is amazing and sad that people with superior bowels, treat us worse than lepers in biblical times. It's 2016 and yet those of us whom sweat and toil on our groan thrones, are treated like we are Jews in nazi Germany.

I would not surprised if the government made us wear brown stars on our clothing. Since we already know gas chambers, my guess is they'd have to devise other ways for the final solution, so as to appease those with superior bowels.

We might need to pen our "brown diary," and call it "dear shitty" when making an entry into the log.

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well said and godspeed to you and your bowels
> BEH.
>
> Still anticipating a volcanic eruption, BO.
> Trying to hold out a bit longer to allow things to
> "solidify" as best they can.


Wishing you the best deadly, as I hope it doesn't end up being a charred groan throne with nothing tangible left.

Can't complain too much, BO. Turned out to be a #5#2.
Feel much better. Think I dodged a brown bullet today.

Fuck you BEH! Roll in shit!

Way to go deadly. I'm glad your rectum didn't fall out.

My bowels have a dream
They'd love a scoop of ice cream
If I do that they'll certainly break
And my starfish will handle no take

My butt will bust with a fury
My old legs will have to hurry
Midwives will be called in at once
As I drop an oversized dunce

The wetback janitor likes to smoke crack
The doctor himself is totally a quack
He looks at assholes all day
Part of me thinks he is gay

He roots around in my starfish
And then makes a wish
My wallet is empty and I'm sore
I feel as if I'm his personal whore

The groan throne awaits a million screams
These will definitely be bad dreams
I'll try to sleep after taking a crap
With apologies to my bowels as I nap

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It is amazing and sad that people with superior
> bowels, treat us worse than lepers in biblical
> times. It's 2016 and yet those of us whom sweat
> and toil on our groan thrones, are treated like we
> are Jews in nazi Germany.
>
> I would not surprised if the government made us
> wear brown stars on our clothing. Since we already
> know gas chambers, my guess is they'd have to
> devise other ways for the final solution, so as to
> appease those with superior bowels.
>
> We might need to pen our "brown diary," and call
> it "dear shitty" when making an entry into the
> log.


Truth is no one give a shit about your bowel problems.

Truth is Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > It is amazing and sad that people with superior
> > bowels, treat us worse than lepers in biblical
> > times. It's 2016 and yet those of us whom sweat
> > and toil on our groan thrones, are treated like
> we
> > are Jews in nazi Germany.
> >
> > I would not surprised if the government made us
> > wear brown stars on our clothing. Since we
> already
> > know gas chambers, my guess is they'd have to
> > devise other ways for the final solution, so as
> to
> > appease those with superior bowels.
> >
> > We might need to pen our "brown diary," and
> call
> > it "dear shitty" when making an entry into the
> > log.
>
>
> Truth is no one give a shit about your bowel
> problems.


You don't but others do. Now please feel free to discuss your bowels.

Hi all! 5am guy checking in again. 5am guy enjoys the twist and turns of this thread and would like to thank the positive contributors. 5am guy ate at Dennys earlier and had to rush back to the office at about 3:30 to take a much needed dump. 5am guy had no time to turn on the black-lights or the whale song. Dennys food does that to 5am guy.

I'm wondering if Denny's has a special ingredient 5 am. Although crapping to whales singing and a lava lamp help, if you eat at Denny's daily, perhaps you wouldn't have to carry a cassette and the lamp around.

It's with joy to hear you were successful in your elimination, and hope your Thursday is pleasant.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm wondering if Denny's has a special ingredient
> 5 am. Although crapping to whales singing and a
> lava lamp help, if you eat at Denny's daily,
> perhaps you wouldn't have to carry a cassette and
> the lamp around.
>
> It's with joy to hear you were successful in your
> elimination, and hope your Thursday is pleasant.


If you eat at Denny's, by all measures you are a mental midget.

Microwave pizza equals bad bowels. Very.

My department director refuses to buy non government approved TP. I don't know what to do, but submit a complaint.

Hard Wiper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My department director refuses to buy non
> government approved TP. I don't know what to do,
> but submit a complaint.

Our office has crappy supplies to. I bring my own rolls in.

5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in again. 5am guy enjoys
> the twist and turns of this thread and would like
> to thank the positive contributors. 5am guy ate at
> Dennys earlier and had to rush back to the office
> at about 3:30 to take a much needed dump. 5am guy
> had no time to turn on the black-lights or the
> whale song. Dennys food does that to 5am guy.


Hey fatty - ever guess why you are a disgusting fat-body with bowel problems. Carefully comb over your post to discover the secret and cure yourself. Try eating wholesome food at home instead of being a moron fat idiot and eating out for breakfast.

Just a bad day. No anal prolapse but my bowels are in a world of hurt.