BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anon Doc is in favor of inserting objects in the
> rectum?
>
> Does one need a medical degree to know this is
> unnatural? That the anus is not an entrance?
>
> I guess that's why every visit to a Certified GI
> ends up with The
> Search for Red October going on in my Schphinkter.


Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me. The amount of untruths of these write ups are staggering.

I would state medically, aside from an anonscope in a GIs office, for humans not to put items in their rectums. Yes there are nerve endings that some find sexually gratifying, but this is not healthy for you. There are a number of hygiene problems as well. An anal prolapse, is not worth the risk of a quick fix.

Sadly I have seen the damage in my office. It is disturbing and can lead to significant pain and illnesses.

I had my BBQ on the grill. The chicken and corn should be ok. Yet the ribs with Sweet Baby Rays sauce is going to hurt.

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I had my BBQ on the grill. The chicken and corn
> should be ok. Yet the ribs with Sweet Baby Rays
> sauce is going to hurt.

Hey don't worry...just go to Dr Shitthumbs and get the Goodyear blimp shoved up your ass... maybe once you see the bill, your ass won't hurt so much anymore.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Diced Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I had my BBQ on the grill. The chicken and corn
> > should be ok. Yet the ribs with Sweet Baby Rays
> > sauce is going to hurt.
>
> Hey don't worry...just go to Dr Shitthumbs and get
> the Goodyear blimp shoved up your ass... maybe
> once you see the bill, your ass won't hurt so much
> anymore.

I sadly must agree BEH. Happy Memorial Day Weekend Brother in Bowel.

No matter what we eat, our bowels will show us pain and suffering, whether under their own inertia or via the vile thick sausage fingers of anon dick.

What do you guys think of a Bowel Awareness Weekend?

Maybe we could set up the giant inflatable colon at the next INOVA health fair to bring awareness to the brown trodden.
Attachments:

That's amazing. Is that a dingleberry on the right?

cdxud Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That's amazing. Is that a dingleberry on the
> right?


I though maybe a polyp?

Dive bomber that is pure genius.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive bomber that is pure genius.

bona fides you require for 'genius' are predictably low. Ill give you one, stop eating Chiz-Wiz and Wonder bread sandwiches washed down with Mr. Pibb. Eat a fucking salad oh and do try to work out you lazy ass. Scat freaks.

UWvWe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dive bomber that is pure genius.
>
> bona fides you require for 'genius' are
> predictably low. Ill give you one, stop eating
> Chiz-Wiz and Wonder bread sandwiches washed down
> with Mr. Pibb. Eat a fucking salad oh and do try
> to work out you lazy ass. Scat freaks.

Oh so sorry you've got a case of sour grapes and butt hurt.

I ask you, if you had to push out full sized NBA sized basketballs, would you perhaps show sympathy, dignity, and respect?

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive bomber that is pure genius.


That medic guy said that you stuff cats in your asshole. Is this true? No wonder you get backed up.

Brando Bowelhead Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dive bomber that is pure genius.
>
>
> That medic guy said that you stuff cats in your
> asshole. Is this true? No wonder you get backed
> up.

From the onset of this important thread, I've maintained a 100% rating, of putting nothing in your rectum.

That was an imposter pretending to be the medic.

My butt hurts from the potato salad.

Dave Johns Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My butt hurts from the potato salad.

I had to eat German potato salad yesterday at a neighbors picnic. It had chopped hard boiled eggs, onions, olives along with the usual potato salad ingredients. I did not want to offend my neighbor but Mrs Dive saved me by eating all her potato salad and then discreetly switching plates with me so I only ended up taking two bites. Her digestive system is like a aircraft carrier while mine is like an inflatable life raft with a slow leak.

Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Bloody Ass
> sung to the tune of Blondie's "Heart of glass"
>
> by, Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
>
> Once I took a dump and it was a gas, soon turned
> out
> I had a bloody ass
> Seen me a doctor only to find
> Mucho mistrust.
> Took my copay and left a pain in my behind
>
> Once I had a big stool it was divine.
> Soon found out my starfish was borderline
> I saw me another doctor but I was so blind.
> Mucho mistrust.
> Took my copay and left a pain in my behind
>
> In between "what I find is dis-pleasing" and "I'm
> feeling fine",
> IBS is so confusing.
> There's no peace of mind
> These doctors keep on probing you.
> It's just no good these doc's teasing like they
> do.


I love these song parodies. Jhonny, you are like a brown Al Yankovich.

Safe to say long car trips eating junk food and sitting in one position for hours behind the wheel are a deadly bowel combination. Best of luck if you are driving this weekend enjoy laying toothpaste-cable. You will need a bottle scrubber and garden hose to clean your rectum.

"Pushin' for nothin'"

By Jhonny Bravo

sung to the tune of Dire straits Money for nothin'


Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it
You sit on the shitter constantly
Your ass ain't workin' you wish that you could you do it
All that pushin for nothin' and your bowels aint free
Your ass ain't workin' you wish that you could you do it
Lemme tell ya your bowels aint movin' none
Maybe get a blister on your little starfish
Maybe get a blister on your bum

We gotta install industrial toilets
Custom bathroom deliveries
We gotta move these sthits the size of refrigerators
We gotta make some brown memories

See the plumber with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that's his van parked out there
That fuckin' plumber got his own jet airplane
That fuckin' plumber he's a millionaire

"We gotta move these sthits the size of refrigerators
We gotta make some brown memories"

my 12 year old is more mature and much more creative. losers.

refrigerators Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "We gotta move these sthits the size of
> refrigerators
> We gotta make some brown memories"
>
> my 12 year old is more mature and much more
> creative. losers.


This thread is nothing but 12 yr olds.

Jr. High Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> refrigerators Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > "We gotta move these sthits the size of
> > refrigerators
> > We gotta make some brown memories"
> >
> > my 12 year old is more mature and much more
> > creative. losers.
>
>
> This thread is nothing but 12 yr olds.


I wish I was still 12. My bowels were great then.

Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Pushin' for nothin'"
>
> By Jhonny Bravo
>
> sung to the tune of Dire straits Money for
> nothin'
>
>
> Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it
> You sit on the shitter constantly
> Your ass ain't workin' you wish that you could you
> do it
> All that pushin for nothin' and your bowels aint
> free
> Your ass ain't workin' you wish that you could you
> do it
> Lemme tell ya your bowels aint movin' none
> Maybe get a blister on your little starfish
> Maybe get a blister on your bum
>
> We gotta install industrial toilets
> Custom bathroom deliveries
> We gotta move these sthits the size of
> refrigerators
> We gotta make some brown memories
>
> See the plumber with the earring and the makeup
> Yeah buddy that's his van parked out there
> That fuckin' plumber got his own jet airplane
> That fuckin' plumber he's a millionaire



Mr. Bravo that's the best one yet!

Why do gays like a fist in their rectum? Isn't that going to cause a prolapse? I saw a porn where a guy had his entire arm up the guys ass. I wondered what might have come of the receiver after some time doing that. Does it mean he lives off a liquid diet?

Silly Thread Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why do gays like a fist in their rectum? Isn't
> that going to cause a prolapse? I saw a porn
> where a guy had his entire arm up the guys ass. I
> wondered what might have come of the receiver
> after some time doing that. Does it mean he lives
> off a liquid diet?


Great question, and I have nothing against homosexuals, but wonder why they must have their bowels battered. I'm not sure about Biblical references, but I believe these passages were about the "unnatural " because ones rectum shouldn't be an amusement ride.

Memorial Day on the grill will certainly lead to pain

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Memorial Day on the grill will certainly lead to
> pain


Oh yes. Just dropped a huge portion of Joe Montegna and Gary Sinise through my fish.

Dear bowels,

I am so sorry. You have been dealt a deck of shitty cards. There's no need to wear sunglasses, as this is a game where bluffing isn't going to happen.

The big cylinder blocks, car engines, and basketballs have been thrust through you with regularlity.

Its a shame and I wish I could give you a purple heart.

User Brown Onion,
I know you think you are being funny, but you really fucking suck at comedy. You should consider retiring that piss poor troll. Your incessant stupid posts are lowering the overall quality and readability of the fybdw thread altogether.

Forum reader Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> User Brown Onion,
> I know you think you are being funny, but you
> really fucking suck at comedy. You should consider
> retiring that piss poor troll. Your incessant
> stupid posts are lowering the overall quality and
> readability of the fybdw thread altogether.

agreed but you have to give him points for persistence. Starfish, poop, locomotive-sized movement, midwives, sphincter-supportive-spouses etc.

moms coming...

Forum reader Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> User Brown Onion,
> I know you think you are being funny, but you
> really fucking suck at comedy. You should consider
> retiring that piss poor troll. Your incessant
> stupid posts are lowering the overall quality and
> readability of the fybdw thread altogether.


How are your bowels anon dick?

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Forum reader Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > User Brown Onion,
> > I know you think you are being funny, but you
> > really fucking suck at comedy. You should
> consider
> > retiring that piss poor troll. Your incessant
> > stupid posts are lowering the overall quality
> and
> > readability of the fybdw thread altogether.
>
>
> How are your bowels anon dick?

Take a fucking hint, jackass. You aren't funny.

ehXDE Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Forum reader Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > User Brown Onion,
> > > I know you think you are being funny, but you
> > > really fucking suck at comedy. You should
> > consider
> > > retiring that piss poor troll. Your incessant
> > > stupid posts are lowering the overall quality
> > and
> > > readability of the fybdw thread altogether.
> >
> >
> > How are your bowels anon dick?
>
> Take a fucking hint, jackass. You aren't funny.

Yo angry dude I can't speak for onion but I find him funny and educational. I have an occasional bad dump like everyone but support his efforts.

Anon Doc is harassing Brownie using various aliases.

This abuse typifies the medical professions attitude towards IBS sufferers.

Haranguing and criticizing anonymously, Anon Docs frustration with his career choice shows through in his maniacal rants.

Thank you Cave and BEH, for your brown high five, albeit with washed hands of course.

I do believe because we speak the truth here, whether about our bowels or the various sadistic doctors, that there's some negativity being flared up like an extreme case of piles.

As we suffer on our groan thrones, these assholes with superior bowels try to knock us down. I'll put my upper and lower intestines on the line, not a chance in hell.

All 3 of the last posts were made by the same person.

Just dropped another fire extinguisher sized shit. No way it was going to flush so I had to lift half of it out with a big pair of channelocks. It was horrible.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just dropped another fire extinguisher sized shit.
> No way it was going to flush so I had to lift half
> of it out with a big pair of channelocks. It was
> horrible.


So sad to hear, but wondering if the fire department has a tank recycling program.

Hello friends! 5am guy checking in early this time. 5am guy has nothing to do tonight but screw around. 5am guy found some interesting pictures that are related to this threads topic.
Attachments:

Why is pasta so problematic?

That's fascinating shit 5 am. When the pope drops one is that a holy shit? The Presidential log?

Diced I'm not sure. It could be carbohydrate related. When I eat spaghetti and other dago foods, my bowels look like the fat guy from Super Mario Brothers/Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Bob Hoskins perhaps was his name.

I hope you and your bowels are doing well. Wish me luck as I'm brewing something hideous.

Happy hump day fellow BiBs! From reading the posts it seems most everyone survived their Memorial Day holiday. As far as the negative trolls posting here, I just ignore them. If they have nothing better to do with their time than attempt to harass the bowel-trodden then their living pretty shitty lives.

Going to Slovakia soon for holiday. Anyone here want Slovak food?

poop

Psychological, or mental health, problems such as panic disorderExternal NIH Link, anxietyExternal NIH Link, depressionExternal NIH Link, and post-traumatic stress disorderExternal NIH Link are common in people with IBS. The link between mental health and IBS is unclear. GI disorders, including IBS, are sometimes present in people who have reported past physical or sexual abuse. Experts think people who have been abused tend to express psychological stress through physical symptoms.

mentalhealth Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Psychological, or mental health, problems such as
> panic disorderExternal NIH Link, anxietyExternal
> NIH Link, depressionExternal NIH Link, and
> post-traumatic stress disorderExternal NIH Link
> are common in people with IBS. The link between
> mental health and IBS is unclear. GI disorders,
> including IBS, are sometimes present in people who
> have reported past physical or sexual abuse.
> Experts think people who have been abused tend to
> express psychological stress through physical
> symptoms.


That is what I've been trying to point out for years here.

Join crossfit or run every day or Mt. Bike or swim 6 days a week. You wont even remember you have bowels (like normal people).

W7DVF Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Join crossfit or run every day or Mt. Bike or swim
> 6 days a week. You wont even remember you have
> bowels (like normal people).


And how is that supposed to help Dr.Einstein?

Just dropped a pretty good size deuce with ridges bumps whatever you call them. It was good to clear that out!

Yes, it must be good to have a satisfying bowel movement.

I remember the days of the Sunday paper and a comfortable and full elimination, the kind that comes out easy , makes you feel empty.

Enjoy a lifetime of good bowel movements my friend.

BEH, you just described my typical Sunday morning. Cup of coffee, then about 20 minutes later I read the sports page as I perch. I wish I had the secret to give my fellow BiBs the same experience on a consistent basis.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes, it must be good to have a satisfying bowel
> movement.
>
> I remember the days of the Sunday paper and a
> comfortable and full elimination, the kind that
> comes out easy , makes you feel empty.
>
> Enjoy a lifetime of good bowel movements my
> friend.


Thank you although this one was not my favorite.

Sadly I think the last time my bowel movement wasn't painful, might herald back to the days of Archie Bunker. While him and his negro neighbor got into it on each episode, my bowels moved at an appropriate speed.

Now no matter what I put in my mouth, my bowels are going to pay a heavy penalty, one which will leave me screaming for vats of witch hazel. I'd trade parts of my poor intestines, for just one satisfactory dump.

Instead of Readers Digest magazines, I'm on the groan throne for hours with Norman Mailer novels. Belts to bite down on, and neighborhood dogs confusing my cries of woe for a pooch in heat.

This?
Attachments:

Very amusing Lucleutus.

I do wonder if some of our local black and whites, or rescue personnel have bowel problems. Its something I think about regularly, along with other professions.

Wouldn't it be ironic to have a Dons John truck driver with below average bowels?

A local Jackson snowboarder was reported to have shit his pants Wednesday while hiking up the Mount Glory bootpack.

In a scene that witnesses called “sad” and “disgusting,” 29-year-old Samuel Rooney hit rock bottom when at approximately 10:57 a.m., the mountain town regular found himself beginning to suffer gastrointestinal issues roughly halfway up the Mount Glory bootpack. According to reports, the unassuming Roonie forged ahead, ignoring the persistent pangs of digestive unease.

RELATED: Ex Ski Bum, Now In Real Job, Questions Point Of Career, Adulthood

However, disaster struck when, nearly at the summit, Rooney attempted to relieve some of the backed up pressure with a loud fart. In an interview with TGR after the incident, Rooney confirmed that he was just trying to “pass a little gas” to let up some of the bloating that had consolidated in his gut. But the messy disaster that ensued under the Mount Glory billboard was worse than anyone could have predicted.

IT WAS PROBABLY THE SADDEST THING I’VE EVER WITNESSED — THE SOBBING AND BLUBBERING WAS TERRIBLE — I’M HAUNTED STILL.

Backcountry bystanders, including TGR correspondents who witnessed the incident, reported finding Rooney lying on the snowpack crying and wailing at the horror of his self-defilement. “It was probably the saddest thing I’ve ever witnessed — the sobbing and blubbering was terrible — I’m haunted still,” said TGR intern Pyper Dixon. “I’ve never seen a grown man that upset before.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have done 5-star spicy at Thai Plate last night,” Rooney choked out right after the fateful soiling. “I was just trying to pass a little gas, but by the time I realized what was happening — that I was sharting myself — it was already too late.”


http://www.tetongravity.com/story/culture/snowboarder-sharts-himself-in-backcountry-hits-rock-bottom

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> W7DVF Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Join crossfit or run every day or Mt. Bike or
> swim
> > 6 days a week. You wont even remember you have
> > bowels (like normal people).
>
>
> And how is that supposed to help Dr.Einstein?

Because once you are fit instead of being a fat wad (admit it you are) your body will operate properly. Herein ends the lesson.

Herein ends the lesson. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > W7DVF Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Join crossfit or run every day or Mt. Bike or
> > swim
> > > 6 days a week. You wont even remember you
> have
> > > bowels (like normal people).
> >
> >
> > And how is that supposed to help Dr.Einstein?
>
> Because once you are fit instead of being a fat
> wad (admit it you are) your body will operate
> properly. Herein ends the lesson.


Did you ever serve this great nation you ungrateful asshole? Let me guess, anon dick or gerrymander, either way a douche that hasn't got laid ever.

The story about that young man was inspiring on a brown level. Mr. Rooney is a hero to the brown and should receive a medal from the president. In the Era of gridlock and soiled drawers in Congress and Washington, that would have bipartisan appeal.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Herein ends the lesson. Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > W7DVF Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > Join crossfit or run every day or Mt. Bike
> or
> > > swim
> > > > 6 days a week. You wont even remember you
> > have
> > > > bowels (like normal people).
> > >
> > >
> > > And how is that supposed to help Dr.Einstein?
> >
> > Because once you are fit instead of being a fat
> > wad (admit it you are) your body will operate
> > properly. Herein ends the lesson.
>
>
> Did you ever serve this great nation you
> ungrateful asshole? Let me guess, anon dick or
> gerrymander, either way a douche that hasn't got
> laid ever.
>
> The story about that young man was inspiring on a
> brown level. Mr. Rooney is a hero to the brown and
> should receive a medal from the president. In the
> Era of gridlock and soiled drawers in Congress and
> Washington, that would have bipartisan appeal.

The title of this thread is "Foods Your Bowels Dont Want", not "Multiple Description of BO's Made-Up Toilet Stories." You obviously have nothing topic-related to contribute, so go start another thread with your stupid adolescent potty fables.

There is only one Brown Onion tool. So if you'd like to regularly post here, how are your bowels?

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There is only one Brown Onion tool. So if you'd
> like to regularly post here, how are your bowels?


5am guy is happy to see that you are up so early today Mr. onion. How are your bowels? 5am guy had a omelette at Dennys a few hours ago now 5am guy is ready to launch a brown depth charge.

Oh man 5 am, thank you as I sit here waiting for the oversized volleyball to fly through my starfish. It's going to be hell, but it is to be expected.

I hope you nail a Russian submarine.

Politically speaking do any candidates have butt problems?
Attachments:

irregulator Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Herein ends the lesson. Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Brown Onion Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > W7DVF Wrote:
> > > >
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > >
> > > > -----
> > > > > Join crossfit or run every day or Mt.
> Bike
> > or
> > > > swim
> > > > > 6 days a week. You wont even remember
> you
> > > have
> > > > > bowels (like normal people).
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > And how is that supposed to help
> Dr.Einstein?
> > >
> > > Because once you are fit instead of being a
> fat
> > > wad (admit it you are) your body will operate
> > > properly. Herein ends the lesson.
> >
> >
> > Did you ever serve this great nation you
> > ungrateful asshole? Let me guess, anon dick or
> > gerrymander, either way a douche that hasn't
> got
> > laid ever.
> >
> > The story about that young man was inspiring on
> a
> > brown level. Mr. Rooney is a hero to the brown
> and
> > should receive a medal from the president. In
> the
> > Era of gridlock and soiled drawers in Congress
> and
> > Washington, that would have bipartisan appeal.
>
> The title of this thread is "Foods Your Bowels
> Dont Want", not "Multiple Description of BO's
> Made-Up Toilet Stories." You obviously have
> nothing topic-related to contribute, so go start
> another thread with your stupid adolescent potty
> fables.


Brown, he has a point. Also what does serving in the military have to do with bowels or suggesting fitness for bowel health. Brown, how overweight are you? Im guessing morbidly obese. Thats almost the new norm so dont be ashamed. But you could get fit and even lose weight - I promise you it will do more for your bowels than posting here.

Starfish, screaming midwives, locomotive-sized movement, dogs in the night confused at sounds you make straining at your bowel movement(s).

teeheeteeheeteeheeteehee

uhoh mom's coming...

Definitely another superior boweled individual trying to divide the brown.

You won't even share how your bowels are, so my weight won't be discussed, until I drop this fifty pound bag of cement.

Are you the people who write with faeces on bathroom walls?

I just got back from the torture chamber or "doctors office."

After paying, I got welcomed to concrete hell by a dominatrix dressed as a nurse with a clothes pin on her nose. She made me disrobe into my white nudity.

There she asked humiliating questions, as a man with a stethoscope shoved his beefy sausage fingers into my poor already hurting starfish.

My bowels hurt. No relief, just discovered a class ring in the groan throne.

The couple that is buying my house had there home inspector check my house out yesterday. They want 5000 dollars worth of work done or 5000 dollars cash at settlement. I feel as though I'm getting ass raped.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The couple that is buying my house had there home
> inspector check my house out yesterday. They want
> 5000 dollars worth of work done or 5000 dollars
> cash at settlement. I feel as though I'm getting
> ass raped.


Pretty much. Probably them along with their superior bowel money sucking realtor stand to benefit from this.

I hope this stress won't negativity affect your bowels.

Ya know I'd feel sorry if this was about diabetes heart attacks cancer strokes. But sore butts. Pussies.

Stuffed green peppers with turkey meat. It helps! Twice in 2 days.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The couple that is buying my house had there
> home
> > inspector check my house out yesterday. They
> want
> > 5000 dollars worth of work done or 5000 dollars
> > cash at settlement. I feel as though I'm
> getting
> > ass raped.
>
>
> Pretty much. Probably them along with their
> superior bowel money sucking realtor stand to
> benefit from this.
>
> I hope this stress won't negativity affect your
> bowels.

I think it already has, I had my first round of diarrhea an hour ago. I will take that over constipation any time though. Mrs Dive and I decided to cut them a check at settlement. I am going to bend over a fallen log just like Ned Beatty did in the movie Deliverance and take it like a man. The entire home selling/buying process is just a pain in the ass. I am never moving again unless it's to the nursing home or funeral home.
Are you feeling any better Brown?

Diced I might see if my sister Matilda might cook those.

Dive, the scene from that movie says it all. I hope your bowels feel better soon and Burt Reynolds rescues you.

I don't know about Burt Reynolds..he seems to be quite constipated himself.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't know about Burt Reynolds..he seems to be
> quite constipated himself.


Yes he was pretty anal, especially in that movie where his semi friend Bobby, got his bowels blitzed by a southern GI.

Yet wonderful it would be to have Reynolds and that perfect arrow shot, when being frisked at the ass doctors office. The buggery and cavity search like exam hurt like hell, and I'm pretty sure the wetback janitor could be the toothless mountain man.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't know about Burt Reynolds..he seems to be
> quite constipated himself.


Yeah, I bet Burt's bowels are not so good today. They say he is frail and old and that he is down to his last 2 or 3 million dollars.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I don't know about Burt Reynolds..he seems to
> be
> > quite constipated himself.
>
>
> Yeah, I bet Burt's bowels are not so good today.
> They say he is frail and old and that he is down
> to his last 2 or 3 million dollars.

True although his new Trans Ams are great. Have you seen them? Limited release from Pontiac.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > BEH Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > I don't know about Burt Reynolds..he seems to
> > be
> > > quite constipated himself.
> >
> >
> > Yeah, I bet Burt's bowels are not so good
> today.
> > They say he is frail and old and that he is
> down
> > to his last 2 or 3 million dollars.
>
> True although his new Trans Ams are great. Have
> you seen them? Limited release from Pontiac.


I had not heard about that Brown. I just googled it and those cars look pretty cool but I guess I'll keep on driving my dented Toyota. It would be nice to rent one of those Trans Am's to take on a little road-trip.

I wonder about Burt's ex-wives. I bet Sally Field had much better bowels than Loni Anderson.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > dive bomber Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > The couple that is buying my house had there
> > home
> > > inspector check my house out yesterday. They
> > want
> > > 5000 dollars worth of work done or 5000
> dollars
> > > cash at settlement. I feel as though I'm
> > getting
> > > ass raped.
> >
> >
> > Pretty much. Probably them along with their
> > superior bowel money sucking realtor stand to
> > benefit from this.
> >
> > I hope this stress won't negativity affect your
> > bowels.
>
> I think it already has, I had my first round of
> diarrhea an hour ago. I will take that over
> constipation any time though. Mrs Dive and I
> decided to cut them a check at settlement. I am
> going to bend over a fallen log just like Ned
> Beatty did in the movie Deliverance and take it
> like a man. The entire home selling/buying process
> is just a pain in the ass. I am never moving again
> unless it's to the nursing home or funeral home.
> Are you feeling any better Brown?

When leaving a home or moving into a new home one of the first things I do is have a BM in each of the bathrooms to break the house in. I do it first thing when moving in so that the house is ready. Is that weird?

Is that weird? Wrote:
> When leaving a home or moving into a new home one
> of the first things I do is have a BM in each of
> the bathrooms to break the house in. I do it
> first thing when moving in so that the house is
> ready. Is that weird?


No, not weird.

Even though we as humans are highly evolved, we're still animals. And what you describe is the instinctual practice of marking your territory.

I just learned that toilets are rated by a system known as the "MaP" score. The higher the MaP score the better the toilet will flush. The new home we are buying has just 2.5 bathrooms and it looks like I am going to have to get all three toilets replaced before we move in. One bathroom will get the 1970s canary yellow toilet that I already own but the other two will require toilets with a very high MaP score. I am learning quite a bit about toilets.

http://www.map-testing.com/map-search.html

Dive Sally Fields bowels are a national treasure. Burts probably are betraying him on a regular basis. Especially with his payday loan commercials, he's sold his soul to the devil and pounds out large dagger shaped shits quite often.

That map testing is interesting. Wouldn't you love to hear from a water and sewage authority person here?

Yes definitely keep the yellow one.

TGIF fellow BiBs! Here's to a bowel-friendly weekend for all!

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> TGIF fellow BiBs! Here's to a bowel-friendly
> weekend for all!


You too also, any exciting plans ?

Making more stuffed green peppers and drinking almond milk. This might be the fix finally.

Do you guys think a black toilet with chrome flush handle and chrome closet bolt covers would be a good choice for the powder room? Mrs Dive is resisting this selection. It is from the Harley-Davidson collection.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deadly combo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > TGIF fellow BiBs! Here's to a bowel-friendly
> > weekend for all!
>
>
> You too also, any exciting plans ?

With the expected storms, not much. Maybe see a movie or watch something on demand at home. How about yourself, BO?

Will try to get back to you guys soon.

About to squeeze that gorilla killing mother through my rectum.

Harambe this is for you in memorial. Stinky big and brown.

Just had squirts all over the office bathroom. It's Friday for fucks sake.

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just had squirts all over the office bathroom.
> It's Friday for fucks sake.


I actually wish for the soft serve variety now. Midwives!

I now am listening to Liberace for help.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I now am listening to Liberace for help.


Hang in there buddy. I will say a brown prayer for you man.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I now am listening to Liberace for help.
>
>
> Hang in there buddy. I will say a brown prayer for
> you man.


Thank you as this process continues to go on. Its like being in labor.

Mrs Dive and I are sitting in a truckstop diner on I-81 right now. Oh man, these truck drivers are tearing up the buffet. They must have fantastic bowels to be able to eat five biscuits with a pint of sausage gravy on top and still drive 13 hours.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mrs Dive and I are sitting in a truckstop diner on
> I-81 right now. Oh man, these truck drivers are
> tearing up the buffet. They must have fantastic
> bowels to be able to eat five biscuits with a pint
> of sausage gravy on top and still drive 13 hours.


You aren't kidding dive. Truck drivers must have the greatest bowels ever.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Mrs Dive and I are sitting in a truckstop diner
> on
> > I-81 right now. Oh man, these truck drivers are
> > tearing up the buffet. They must have fantastic
> > bowels to be able to eat five biscuits with a
> pint
> > of sausage gravy on top and still drive 13
> hours.
>
>
> You aren't kidding dive. Truck drivers must have
> the greatest bowels ever.


Get this Brown, I saw a big truck driver get 4 big biscuits covered in eggs and potatoes and cheese, he puts two large scoops of sausage gravy and two cups of chili on top. The plate was so heavy he had to carry it with both hands! He ate it all in about 10 minutes!
That guy is my brown hero of the day.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > dive bomber Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Mrs Dive and I are sitting in a truckstop
> diner
> > on
> > > I-81 right now. Oh man, these truck drivers
> are
> > > tearing up the buffet. They must have
> fantastic
> > > bowels to be able to eat five biscuits with a
> > pint
> > > of sausage gravy on top and still drive 13
> > hours.
> >
> >
> > You aren't kidding dive. Truck drivers must
> have
> > the greatest bowels ever.
>
>
> Get this Brown, I saw a big truck driver get 4 big
> biscuits covered in eggs and potatoes and cheese,
> he puts two large scoops of sausage gravy and two
> cups of chili on top. The plate was so heavy he
> had to carry it with both hands! He ate it all in
> about 10 minutes!
> That guy is my brown hero of the day.

Good God! That's the brown Paul Bunyan!

dive bomber Wrote:
> Get this Brown, I saw a big truck driver get 4 big
> biscuits covered in eggs and potatoes and cheese,
> he puts two large scoops of sausage gravy and two
> cups of chili on top. The plate was so heavy he
> had to carry it with both hands! He ate it all in
> about 10 minutes!
> That guy is my brown hero of the day.


You've never seen route 66 as clogged as my Schphikter would be if I ate that!

Brown Onion u should try a bleach enema mixed with castor oil. Stings a little at first but cleans me out every time.

3 hrs and 26 miles on the mt. bike yesterday and my bowels are great! No complaints from the starfish either. fitness my friends, its the key to happy bowels.

yours

Cadet Pressure-Assist EL

Any midwives available? Got dilation.