Morning BiBs! Been a few days since I checked in. Bowels are in good order, knock on wood. Been keeping busy and despite eating unhealthy foods for the holiday weekend, everything came out fine in the end (pun intended).

In response to MBAF above, I'm not the healthiest eater nor a gym rat, but I do try to have some veggies and/or fresh fruit each day. House and yard work keep me somewhat active as well. I don't know if that keeps my #2s #4s, or whether it's the luck of the genetic lottery.

I'll get back to you all soon. Midwives are on the way.

BEH/BO: Same phony racist asshole.

Loser. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH/BO: Same phony racist asshole.


Highly likely. Same writing style and definitely same narrow-minded Pringle-eating douch-e-ness. Also scat freak(s)

Groan throne, starfish, midwives HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH so witty.

My poor starfish. I now know what a torpedo door does after a launch.

FROM REAL SUPPORTER......"Some asshole took my user name. Figures it's probably the doctor....."

After doing quite a bit of research on the reputation of some the mentally challenged addicts on FFU, I think I have a pretty good idea of who this person is who uses 'real supporter' or 'Supporter.' with a period at the end.

I have come to that conclusion due to lack of posts with sudden posts after weeks and the apparent disappearance of a particular someone, and the fact this person has pretty much chameleoned into changing her/their dialogue to sound like me.

They are trying to bait me which will not happen. Therefore I am excusing myself from this board. You win. Congrats. I am a better person than you.

Good bowels to the rest of you. All future posts are not from me.

I do have a life, unlike this person. Grow the fuck up you miscreant.

Yes supporter I believe that's anon dick.

Out of jealousy and spite, his brown dirty hands type away in anger.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes supporter I believe that's anon dick.
>
> Out of jealousy and spite, his brown dirty hands
> type away in anger.


Hey stupid fucking troll,

Quit bumping this dead jr. high school thread. Nobody finds you or your other 5 trolls entertaining anymore. Learn when to give something a rest.

Enough Already Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Yes supporter I believe that's anon dick.
> >
> > Out of jealousy and spite, his brown dirty
> hands
> > type away in anger.
>
>
> Hey stupid fucking troll,
>
> Quit bumping this dead jr. high school thread.
> Nobody finds you or your other 5 trolls
> entertaining anymore. Learn when to give something
> a rest.

How are your bowels? I just dropped a large black Micah Johnson. Heard something about black lives matter. Nothing about brown unfortunately.

The immature write ups continue. I am now a consultant in retirement from my practice, and attended a seminar about IBS. Both the NIH and Rice University, are working together on IBS research that's already showing results. Obviously, for ethical and safety reasons, it will be several years before it is FDA approved, but I think some of the few normal people here will find it helpful.

Fucking lying doctor needs to stop his shitting on individuals here. I believe the posters more than him any day

TGIF BiBs! Hope everyone has a bowel-friendly weekend!

I got to leave work earlier today so no messes.

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> TGIF BiBs! Hope everyone has a bowel-friendly
> weekend!


You too as well deadly. What kinds of foods have your bowels been digesting?

Mr.splatter, that is a relief. Happy weekend to you and all working brothers in bowel. I have long retired, but have not forgotten my days of screams terrifying coworkers.

Will be back later, but I hope this provides assistance for someone.
Attachments:

Nice chart Brown. My Canadian toilet is here and the plumber is coming in a few hours to install it! This afternoon a contractor is going to give us a bid on having a basement bathroom installed and that is where old yeller will go.

I sure wish for a wonderful day for all the bib's out there.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nice chart Brown. My Canadian toilet is here and
> the plumber is coming in a few hours to install
> it! This afternoon a contractor is going to give
> us a bid on having a basement bathroom installed
> and that is where old yeller will go.
>
> I sure wish for a wonderful day for all the bib's
> out there.


That's great news Dive, and can you share photos of ol yeller and the new groan thrones? I'm fascinated by these Canadian groan thrones, and wonder if they have the blessing of Mr. Tredau.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nice chart Brown. My Canadian toilet is here and
> the plumber is coming in a few hours to install
> it! This afternoon a contractor is going to give
> us a bid on having a basement bathroom installed
> and that is where old yeller will go.
>
> I sure wish for a wonderful day for all the bib's
> out there.

Hey Bomber, I think what you are doing is illegal. You should not talk about it here. This is an old Baltimore sun article I found,

Canada's big flush turns U.S. citizens into smugglers
November 01, 1998

"WINDSOR, Ontario - Americans are crossing the Canadian border near Detroit to purchase 3.5-gallon-per-flush toilets."

That is correct: Canada has become a major supplier of illegal 3.5-gallon toilets. These toilets were banned by Congress in 1992 under the Energy Policy and Conservation Act, which decreed that henceforth U.S. citizens had to buy 1.6-gallon toilets, which would conserve a lot of water if they worked, which unfortunately most of them don't, the result being that U.S. citizens now spend more time flushing their toilets than on all other forms of exercise combined.

But that is not the point. The point is that 1.6-gallon toilets are the law of the land, and as the late Supreme Court Justice Felix Frankfurter stated: "Just because Congress passes a stupid law, that is no excuse for awwwggh." Unfortunately, Justice Frankfurter died at that point, but most legal scholars believe he intended to finish his sentence by saying "... that is no excuse for people to go up to Canada and buy working toilets."

Yet that is exactly what is happening. The Contractor article quotes a Canadian plumbing wholesaler as follows: "We've definitely seen an increase in the sales of 3.5-gallon toilets. The people who buy them are mostly from the States. They tell us outright they're Americans who came here to buy them."

The article quotes officials of both the Department of Energy and the Environmental Protection Agency as stating that it is illegal to bring these toilets into the United States. But it also quotes a Customs Service official as saying that Customs makes no effort to confiscate the toilets. "As long as they tell us they have them," the official said, "it makes no difference to us."

In other words, people can simply waltz across our borders with illegal toilets supplied by ruthless Canadian toilet cartels headed by greed-crazed Canadian toilet kingpins who will stop at nothing to push their illicit wares on our vulnerable society. If you are a parent, consider this chilling scenario: Your child is attending a party, when another youngster - a "bad apple" - approaches and says, "Psst! Wanna try a 3.5-gallon Canadian toilet? All the other kids are doing it!" The next thing you know, your child is acting furtive and sneaking off to a "bad part of town" whenever nature calls. Your child is hooked.

Red Onion,

This is fascinating shit and I agree with you, I don't want to see gestapo federal agents, raiding dive bombers new house with tanks, battering rams, and perhaps even robots with bombs attached.

He and Mrs. Dive worked hard for their new house, and to see it become the next Waco is a frightening thought. Another concern is the federal agents determining his location via aromas or by supeoning this site.

Our government wouldn't hesitate to harass and attack the dive residence, or anyone with these contraband groan thrones. It's scary when our rights are threatened, especially vulnerable Americans whose bowels have betrayed them.

And now we compare toilets? Are you all 12 years old?

Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> And now we compare toilets? Are you all 12 years
> old?


So says stinky fingers. How are your oversized hands and lack of bedside manner going for you?

My ass hurts! My ass hurts! Waaaaaaaaaaah!

It's not easy eating healthy. My bowels are hurting because of pretzels and cheese wiz. It's going to be a long weekend but my fault. I should have done better but am paying the price.

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's not easy eating healthy. My bowels are
> hurting because of pretzels and cheese wiz. It's
> going to be a long weekend but my fault. I should
> have done better but am paying the price.


It happens to the best of us Diced.

The smells of such forbidden fruits reach our olfactory nerves, and our bowels literally stir our brains, into eating such foods.

While the result is battering our poor starfish with gigantic almost planetary sized objects, it's something we can't always help.

I plan on dropping some brown matter soon, or evacuating my bowels per medical parlance. There will be screaming, vein popping, bite belting drama, but it must be done no matter how much the midwives cost.

My 3.5 gallon per flush Canadian toilet is now up and running. The plumber who installed it for me said that he has installed about 50 of these supposedly illegal toilets in the last 10 years or so and has never heard of anyone having a problem with code enforcement officials.
I called my dickhead brother who is a recently retired lawyer and he said that he would be willing to go to court with me if need be. He said that he would cite the Americans with disabilities act and try to set a legal precedent to include IBS sufferers under this act. Brown, if it comes to this would you be willing to testify on my behalf? You could bring a big bristol stool chart to be introduced into evidence.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My 3.5 gallon per flush Canadian toilet is now up
> and running. The plumber who installed it for me
> said that he has installed about 50 of these
> supposedly illegal toilets in the last 10 years or
> so and has never heard of anyone having a problem
> with code enforcement officials.
> I called my dickhead brother who is a recently
> retired lawyer and he said that he would be
> willing to go to court with me if need be. He said
> that he would cite the Americans with disabilities
> act and try to set a legal precedent to include
> IBS sufferers under this act. Brown, if it comes
> to this would you be willing to testify on my
> behalf? You could bring a big bristol stool chart
> to be introduced into evidence.


Think of just that amount of sore asses. We are not alone! I would absolutely be a witness for you, would definitely bring the Bristol Stool Guide, pictures of my rectum, images of my bowels, and be willing to testify for you.

Do you have any photos of the Canary yellow groan throne? From a nostalgic perspective, it would make me happy,

Still working on this festering lump of pain. Dilation has started.

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I finally squeezed the stinky boulder through my
> colonic crevice.
>
> It appears to be Anonomyous Doc, as he's a royal
> pain in the ass.


A classic BO post from the past!

best of bo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Blooming Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I finally squeezed the stinky boulder through
> my
> > colonic crevice.
> >
> > It appears to be Anonomyous Doc, as he's a
> royal
> > pain in the ass.
>
>
> A classic BO post from the past!

And the truth as that son of a bitch, and his so called doctors are the epitome of assholes.

General Lee's decision to invade the north, was caused by his bowels. The summer of 1863 had turned the tide in the war, and when not riding his horse or yelling at Jeb Stuart, General Lee had bowel woes that affected him more than the bloody killing fields of Antietam.

The mutton and hardtack literally caused him, when sleeping in various houses down south, to scream so loud people mistook it for the rebel yell. His grey clothes became brown, and he bit into his belt to contain the pain.

Pickett didn't want to charge, but as Lee and his confederates soon saw, Lee made a hasty decision that caused his troops far more than the ass burning campaign of William Tecumseh Sherman. He couldn't get comfortable in his saddle as big chunks of brown matter doubled him over.

And thus Lincoln got the victory he so desperately needed. If the West Point grad could have kept his bowels aligned properly, he would have stayed south in a bloody defensive posture that would have won the war. Instead his thirty three feet sealed his fate, so badly that Ulysses Grant was gracious at Appomattox. There were other southern units who kept fighting afterwards, and if Lincolns bowels acted up, he might not have gone to Fords Theater. Instead he would have screamed in agony from below instead of his face.

Civil War conditions created a perfect environment for dysentery and diarrhea to thrive. Men lived crowded together; ate poor diets of fried meat, bread, and coffee; used the same pan to cook their meal that they used to wash up; and went to the latrine upstream from their camp. Bowel disorders were the most prevalent illnesses on both sides of the Civil War and they killed more men than battle. Dysentery and diarrhea, called "quickstep" by soldiers, and "alvine flux" by the doctors, with dysentery being distinguished by blood in the stool. Doctors knew neither how soldiers contracted the condition nor how the diseases should be treated.

The number of soldiers who died from loose bowels is staggering. According to Union records of 1,739,135 cases, 57,265 Yankee soldiers died of dysentery or diarrhea, compared with 44,238 men dying in battle. Sometimes regiments had three-quarters of their men stricken at one time. Usually there was one sick soldier for every four well ones except in July and August, when more suffered.

The Confederate Army of the Potomac, with some 50,000 men, reported 36,572 cases of bowel disorders in the first nine months of the war. At Chimborazo Hospital in Richmond, one out of every 10 of the diarrhea and dysentery patients died. Andersonville Prison in Georgia sometimes had 130 men die daily from the disorders.

Treatments to open or close the bowels varied from home remedies of tea made from dogwood bark to outrageous prescriptions. One pamphlet advised, "Let your beard grow so as to protect the throat and lungs." Many doctors treated dysentery with opium, and diarrhea with "blue mass", which was a mixture of chalk and mercury. Other treatments included: strychnine, castor oil, laudanum, camphor, turpentine, calomel, lead acetate, silver nitrate, quinine, whiskey, ipecac, and even cauterization of the anal opening.

http://www.wtv-zone.com/civilwar/dysentery.html

more infoe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Civil War conditions created a perfect environment
> for dysentery and diarrhea to thrive. Men lived
> crowded together; ate poor diets of fried meat,
> bread, and coffee; used the same pan to cook their
> meal that they used to wash up; and went to the
> latrine upstream from their camp. Bowel disorders
> were the most prevalent illnesses on both sides of
> the Civil War and they killed more men than
> battle. Dysentery and diarrhea, called "quickstep"
> by soldiers, and "alvine flux" by the doctors,
> with dysentery being distinguished by blood in the
> stool. Doctors knew neither how soldiers
> contracted the condition nor how the diseases
> should be treated.
>
> The number of soldiers who died from loose bowels
> is staggering. According to Union records of
> 1,739,135 cases, 57,265 Yankee soldiers died of
> dysentery or diarrhea, compared with 44,238 men
> dying in battle. Sometimes regiments had
> three-quarters of their men stricken at one time.
> Usually there was one sick soldier for every four
> well ones except in July and August, when more
> suffered.
>
> The Confederate Army of the Potomac, with some
> 50,000 men, reported 36,572 cases of bowel
> disorders in the first nine months of the war. At
> Chimborazo Hospital in Richmond, one out of every
> 10 of the diarrhea and dysentery patients died.
> Andersonville Prison in Georgia sometimes had 130
> men die daily from the disorders.
>
> Treatments to open or close the bowels varied from
> home remedies of tea made from dogwood bark to
> outrageous prescriptions. One pamphlet advised,
> "Let your beard grow so as to protect the throat
> and lungs." Many doctors treated dysentery with
> opium, and diarrhea with "blue mass", which was a
> mixture of chalk and mercury. Other treatments
> included: strychnine, castor oil, laudanum,
> camphor, turpentine, calomel, lead acetate, silver
> nitrate, quinine, whiskey, ipecac, and even
> cauterization of the anal opening.
>
> http://www.wtv-zone.com/civilwar/dysentery.html

Fascinating shit. With "doctors " of that era sawing legs, one can see how they'd be crazy to use opiates. That definitely causes cannon ball shits. The number of bowel maladies is staggering.

That's a lot of grumpy men with IBS of Dutch ovens or leaky hoses.

Modern medicine has come a long way since then.

" cauterization of the anal opening"
Attachments:

My girlfriend left me. I don't know what to do.

Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My girlfriend left me. I don't know what to do.


The dating game can be a nightmare for most people, healthy or not, so imagine how difficult it must be to attempt to make yourself available to the dog-eat-dog world of dating while suffering from a medical condition such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).


www.ibsgroup.org


Top Five Tips for Dating with IBS


•Make sure you are comfortable: if you don’t feel you can tell someone—ask yourself why you feel that way.
•Be honest. If you don’t feel like eating out, or eating in a particular restaurant, say so. Don’t be a martyr.
•Confide in your partner. Don’t bottle up your emotions. If you are nervous or anxious about something, talk it through.
•If they won’t accept your condition and make a few little allowances now and again—ditch ’em. They are not the right person for you.
•Don’t be embarrassed about your bodily functions. Everyone has them

My starfish looks torpedoed.

I don't like how the wetbacks talk shit at my doctors office. Its bad enough to get probed by large fingers and numerous medieval torture devices.

My hope is to relax, and eventually throw this squished in basketball into the groan throne.

Julius Caesar had the Roman Empire under his thumb. He was banging Cleopatra with her exotic looks, and controlled thousands of miles of land and their inhabitants. For a Wop this was an impressive accomplishment. With his oily skin and body odor, he had well trained soldiers under his command, and all of the finest luxuries one could obtain.

"Eh tu Brute," as the formerly loyal Brutus disemboweled him, causing him great pain from his starfish, and led to Pompeii sized shits that left him no choice. Mark Anthony became the new man in charge, and aside from an impassioned soliloquy about Caesars bowels, the Roman Empire went to shit.

Interesting story brown

Hi all!
5 am guy checking in a few hours early tonight. 5 am guy has been catching up on this board. 5 am guy finds the information about the civil war bowels very interesting. The usual hijinks and shenanigans here are also very entertaining!

5 am guy was on vacation for two whole weeks and 5 am guy spent time with family in Paint Bank Virginia. 5 am guy was using a outhouse there as 5 am guys cousin has a cabin with electricity but no plumbing. The outhouse is a little bit stinky in warm weather but the large stack of MAD magazines in there are fun to look at.

The person who covered for 5 am guy at work while 5 am guy was gone on vacation apparently did not do jack shit the entire time so 5 am guy will be busy for several nights. 5 am guy now has a lava lamp to set up in the mens room to accompany the whale songs while pooping. 5 am guy bought the lava lamp at a store called "Big Lots".

5 am guy would like to wish everyone happy pooping!

Thank you diced and welcome back 5 am. You've been missed!
Ghoulash. More later.

Bowels in an old term so I wonder how old he is.

Dave Johns Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Bowels in an old term so I wonder how old he is.


Old as dirt, with the bowels of a 120 year old man.

It's a shame my sister Matilda, has to scream like a pack of wild coyotes on the groan throne. I'm glad I got her the life alert device for Christmas, although I worry if she has to use it, paramedics will see her in her birthday suit with clothes pins on their noses.

In her case, I might understand because with the screaming, is an aroma that can be described as pungent, with my nose hairs burned off. We definitely aren't having fish for dinner, but if we were, Michael Douglas could piss on it. The aroma is even in the living room now, and there's not enough Febreze to extinguish this.

If she continues in labor, it's time for midwives. The service costs a lot, but they can handle her shit with professional care.

Best wishes for Matilda.

I ate a thickburger from Hardee's today. The time of retribution will soon be at hand!

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Best wishes for Matilda.
>
> I ate a thickburger from Hardee's today. The time
> of retribution will soon be at hand!


Thank you dive. She's in relief. I hope you are doing OK after bowel buster.

Good pooping music!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=649p5Z7ROrM

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Good pooping music!
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=649p5Z7ROrM


I also imagine younger folk, would find this relaxing for masturbation.

There's poop everywhere and I'm out of cleaning supplies. In the work bathroom not sure what to do. Help!

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There's poop everywhere and I'm out of cleaning
> supplies. In the work bathroom not sure what to
> do. Help!


Sorry for my late response, but I hope you called a Hazmat team in.

Virtually all microbes found in human feces is harmless. However, when you poop, there are more bacterial cells in the poop than the number of humans who ever lived on earth. That being said, there is a possibility to have a few opportunistic pathogens being present including Clostridium difficile.

Once out of the body, though, these stools are subjected to environmental bacteria that may use the excrement as food and thrive.

It is very common for bacteria to inhabit aerosols, so the longer the stool has been outside the body, the more potential for harmful bacteria to inhabit the aerosols originating from it.

C. difficile is transmitted from person to person by the fecal-oral route. However, the organism forms heat-resistant spores that are not killed by alcohol-based hand cleansers or routine surface cleaning. Thus, these spores survive in clinical environments for long periods. Because of this, the bacteria may be cultured from almost any surface. Once spores are ingested, their acid-resistance allows them to pass through the stomach unscathed. They germinate and multiply into vegetative cells in the colon upon exposure to bile acids.

A 2015 CDC study estimated that C. diff afflicted almost half a million Americans and caused 29,000 deaths in 2011. The study estimated that 40 percent of cases began in nursing homes or community health care settings, while 24 percent occurred in hospitals.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/13/2016 06:05PM by BEH.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Virtually all microbes found in human feces is
> harmless. However, when you poop, there are more
> bacterial cells in the poop than the number of
> humans who ever lived on earth. That being said,
> there is a possibility to have a few opportunistic
> pathogens being present including Clostridium
> difficile.
>
> Once out of the body, though, these stools are
> subjected to environmental bacteria that may use
> the excrement as food and thrive.
>
> It is very common for bacteria to inhabit
> aerosols, so the longer the stool has been outside
> the body, the more potential for harmful bacteria
> to inhabit the aerosols originating from it.


BEH that's fascinating. The bacteria cells are more than all humans on earth.

No wonder the rug rats with their cell phones catch pink eye often.

Hi all! 5 am guy checking in again. 5 am guy is now caught up at work so 5 am guy can start relaxing again. BEH's posts inspired 5 am guy to do some reasearch. 5 am guy discovered a process where doctors take poop out of healthy people and put it in sick people.

http://thefecaltransplantfoundation.org/what-is-fecal-transplant/

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5 am guy checking in again. 5 am guy is
> now caught up at work so 5 am guy can start
> relaxing again. BEH's posts inspired 5 am guy to
> do some reasearch. 5 am guy discovered a process
> where doctors take poop out of healthy people and
> put it in sick people.
>
> http://thefecaltransplantfoundation.org/what-is-fe
> cal-transplant/


This and BEHs posts are proof positive, that all should be a bowel buddy.

We are literally in this shit together, no matter what condition your bowels are in.

Morning BiBs! Interesting information on C. difficile and fecal transplants. I know he's not a favorite of the regulars here, but it would be interesting to hear Anon Doc's take on that information.

Coffee worked its magic again this morning. #4#2 and quite empty.

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Morning BiBs! Interesting information on C.
> difficile and fecal transplants. I know he's not
> a favorite of the regulars here, but it would be
> interesting to hear Anon Doc's take on that
> information.
>
> Coffee worked its magic again this morning. #4#2
> and quite empty.


This thread just continues to grow. Great brothers in bowel and bowel allies. Despite being sore my starfish feels inspired, and to all and you in this forum how are your bowels?

Ok, so it appears we have a decision involving Trumps #2.

We are all waiting for the bull dyke to make her choice,but I wonder about each candidates bowels. It would be an honor, to ask the candidates during the town halls on CNN, how they take care of their bowels.

Yet what really captures my fancy, is what's Donald's groan throne look like?

My ass feels like muslim terrorists drove a truck up it.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My ass feels like muslim terrorists drove a truck
> up it.


Not funny.

A night of savagery towards my bowels leads to a doctor appointment at 8 am. These assholes start early.

When i was in prison I heard a guy in the next cell getting assraped. I wonder if going to a GI appointment is as bad as that?

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When i was in prison I heard a guy in the next
> cell getting assraped. I wonder if going to a GI
> appointment is as bad as that?


Did you hear "I'm a GI." Or "this is called an anonoprobe?"

If screaming was involved, I'd bet it was an anal doctor in the next cell over.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > When i was in prison I heard a guy in the next
> > cell getting assraped. I wonder if going to a
> GI
> > appointment is as bad as that?
>
>
> Did you hear "I'm a GI." Or "this is called an
> anonoprobe?"
>
> If screaming was involved, I'd bet it was an anal
> doctor in the next cell over.

Libel. Not surprising.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My ass feels like muslim terrorists drove a truck
> up it.

Really, Brown Onion? You have crossed the line yet again with these terrorist attack comments. They are cruel and insensitive. For Gods sake, watch what the hell you say as well as what you eat.

Lost respect for you bro.

Yep this is the original Supporter as I'm the only 1 with this login name. Signing out......

Ok maybe more like planes slamming in my ass, or some muslim homosexual shooting my rectum with .223 rounds.

Its how my rectum feels supporter, and as to if you are the original Supporter or not, your support is noted, and can be put in the groan throne as needed.

Best wishes to you and your bowels.

My contractor dropped off some building materials at the house today. Work begins on my basement bathroom on Monday. The job supervisor asked why in the hell I want my 40+ year old canary yellow toilet installed in a brand new bathroom. When I told him it had sentimental value he looked at me like I was out of my mind. Maybe he is right, Mrs Dive thinks the yellow toilet is ridiculous as well but she said it is okay since it's in the basement.
I hope all the bib's here on FYBDW have a great bowel friendly weekend!

Thanks Dive! Same to you and the rest of the BiBs!

Goulash. But good luck to you dive and deadly. Tomorrow I'll explain clearly as your counsel to Mrs. Dive why the yellow groan throne must go up.

Good morning friends! 5 am guy checking in again to read about the various brown twists and turns in the lives of the fine folks here! 5 am guy just found out that 5 am guy has to go to a training seminar in New York city next week. 5 am guy does not like this sort of thing as 5 am guy likes to sleep during the day but 5 am guy has no choice in this matter.
5 am guy sends best wishes to all!

Goulash continued

My butt has been invaded by turks.

What if you could have a meal that you did not have to completely digest?

That question is a reality for people on death row. I thought it was interesting to see what John Wayne Gacy requested for his last meal.

They say you shit your pants when you die, could you imagine having to clean out the prison issue underpants of this guy after he died? I bet they make a couple of the trustee's do it. (John Wayne Gacy was a KFC manager before he was locked up)
Attachments:

I had a big meal from Panda Express yesterday. Last night I shit the bed. I wonder if Merry maids would come and clean my bed? I would be willing to pay like 400 bucks.

Red onion a shitty job for sure. Especially with bowels going out on the way out.

So sorry Brown Splatter, Brown Panda is awful.

A healthy meal like this from Panda Express can be digested easily by my superior bowels in about 2 and a half days with no discomfort whatsoever. I can turn this into a perfect number 4.
Attachments:

My lord, what Chinese food does to my cecum. A few nibbles of the pu-pu for two, and My pyloric schphinkter starts to spasm. As it receives House Special lo-mein fueled chyme from the ileum, my MSG sodden ileocecal valve convulses violently.
By the time the semi-digested dim sum works it way over to the cecocolic junction, its the size of a football, and growing in girth.

By the time the Chinese Dragon Boat Festival party reaches The Ano-Rectal canal, it feels like The Gobi desert in size and just as dry.

I'll skip the eggrolls and fried rice, thank you, I don't mean to rebuild the Great Wall in my beleaguered large intestine.

Slant eyes purposefully do that to our bowels.

It's time for the savages to stop with the black lives bullshit, and let's focus on brown lives matter. Or each of us have bowels, despite our ethnicity, and it's something that can unite all of humanity.

Even that sleazy wetback at my doctors office, who sneers at me while cleaning the floors, he has bowels. Maybe his are superior, but eventually they will betray him, and all of us get a poor score on the Bristol Stool Guide.

Not a sermon just a thought, and hoping Lon Solomans bowels are swell this Sunday.

Tippys tacos Sunday deal not so good after all.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's time for the savages to stop with the black
> lives bullshit, and let's focus on brown lives
> matter. Or each of us have bowels, despite our
> ethnicity, and it's something that can unite all
> of humanity.
>
> Even that sleazy wetback at my doctors office,
> who sneers at me while cleaning the floors, he has
> bowels. Maybe his are superior, but eventually
> they will betray him, and all of us get a poor
> score on the Bristol Stool Guide.
>
> Not a sermon just a thought, and hoping Lon
> Solomans bowels are swell this Sunday.

You're a fucking racist cunt.

Kkk loser Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > It's time for the savages to stop with the
> black
> > lives bullshit, and let's focus on brown lives
> > matter. Or each of us have bowels, despite our
> > ethnicity, and it's something that can unite
> all
> > of humanity.
> >
> > Even that sleazy wetback at my doctors office,
> > who sneers at me while cleaning the floors, he
> has
> > bowels. Maybe his are superior, but
> eventually
> > they will betray him, and all of us get a poor
> > score on the Bristol Stool Guide.
> >
> > Not a sermon just a thought, and hoping Lon
> > Solomans bowels are swell this Sunday.
>
> You're a fucking racist cunt.

How are your bowels? Try to lay off the Skittles.

My work stall is a mess, and it's not even 09 30. My boss is set to be here in anhour.

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My work stall is a mess, and it's not even 09 30.
> My boss is set to be here in anhour.


How did it go splatter?

Today the guys building my new basement bathroom framed up the walls. A white guy and two El Salvadorians built the walls and carried drywall and a pre-hung door into the basement. The white guy asked which bathroom the workers could use. No way I could let them use Mrs Dive's bathroom in the master bedroom so I told them to use the hallway bathroom where my Canadian water wasting toilet was recently installed. They just left for the day and I discovered that they dripped urine on the floor and left a big skid mark in my brand new toilet.
I guess that's just the way things go. They all had Taco bell for lunch and I had laid out a cooler full of assorted drinks along with some snacks for them. I feel a little disrespected that they pissed on my bathroom floor and made no effort to wipe it up. Now I have to clean this up before Mrs Dive gets home.
Would it be wrong for me to ask that the contractor have a portable toilet brought out?

Dive low life iguana eaters. Yes you can pay them dimes on the dollar, but be wary as they might be marking their territory with skid marks in the groan throne.

You could come home to find your new dining room tagged with gang Grafitti, and your pet dog might walk backwards. I take it Mrs Dive is not left with these backwater thugs.

Yes a Mexican space shuttle, a Don Jon or portable groan throne might be best.

Thanks Brown, you always have good advice. There is a plumber coming tomorrow to hook up the drains and water lines to the roughed in ones. I think I will call a local portable toilet company to put one of their receptacles under my deck at my expense. I will stock it with soft toilet paper and assorted hand cleaning and sanitizing products. They claim that the job should be completed in two weeks.
Since I am retired I plan to be here whenever anyone is working in the house.

IPA's don't like me anymore :(

Dive that's good to hear, and how's old yellow doing?

Joke Insurance, beer is a bowel buster.

If I went to the Vatican, and asked for them to bless my bowels, would this be handled by francis or his number 2 Benedict?

Interesting as always gents.

Thank you Cave.

For those wondering what an anal doc visit is like, I will share what my sister Matilda experienced today.

I always go with my sister for moral support, and walking in the examination room I was cuffed and shackled to the floor.

The snobbish, cold calculating nurse told her to disrobe. To put her "dirty garments in the assigned area."

I know why they make Matilda get naked, and why the wait for the doctor is long. It's humiliation and intimidation, with the buck toothed nurse nodding along to everything the "doctor " said.

He didn't look at her in the eyes, wore the bright red clothes pin on his nose, and while anally probing my sister, had the audacity to talk about his favorite golf course. A complete asshole. He stole my sisters brown cherry, took her cash, and basically told her to fuck off. No prescription or advice other than "make an appointment."

Guess where are thumbs have been!
Attachments:

Milwaukee Frozen Custard comes out soft serve. Disgusting just disgusting

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you Cave.
>
> For those wondering what an anal doc visit is
> like, I will share what my sister Matilda
> experienced today.
>
> I always go with my sister for moral support, and
> walking in the examination room I was cuffed and
> shackled to the floor.
>
> The snobbish, cold calculating nurse told her to
> disrobe. To put her "dirty garments in the
> assigned area."
>
> I know why they make Matilda get naked, and why
> the wait for the doctor is long. It's humiliation
> and intimidation, with the buck toothed nurse
> nodding along to everything the "doctor " said.
>
> He didn't look at her in the eyes, wore the bright
> red clothes pin on his nose, and while anally
> probing my sister, had the audacity to talk about
> his favorite golf course. A complete asshole. He
> stole my sisters brown cherry, took her cash, and
> basically told her to fuck off. No prescription or
> advice other than "make an appointment."


That seems to be the way it goes in the GI office. I gave up on those doc's years ago. They always gave me the same song, lose weight, change your diet, exercise and take a shit load of prescription drugs. I did everything I was told to do with no results. I am either passing a bowling ball sized shit or blowing brown liquid out of my ass probably 250 days out of the year.
The plumbers are working on my basement bathroom now, two redneck white guys and they are very nice. Tomorrow the electrical contractor will be here.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Thank you Cave.
> >
> > For those wondering what an anal doc visit is
> > like, I will share what my sister Matilda
> > experienced today.
> >
> > I always go with my sister for moral support,
> and
> > walking in the examination room I was cuffed
> and
> > shackled to the floor.
> >
> > The snobbish, cold calculating nurse told her
> to
> > disrobe. To put her "dirty garments in the
> > assigned area."
> >
> > I know why they make Matilda get naked, and why
> > the wait for the doctor is long. It's
> humiliation
> > and intimidation, with the buck toothed nurse
> > nodding along to everything the "doctor " said.
> >
> > He didn't look at her in the eyes, wore the
> bright
> > red clothes pin on his nose, and while anally
> > probing my sister, had the audacity to talk
> about
> > his favorite golf course. A complete asshole.
> He
> > stole my sisters brown cherry, took her cash,
> and
> > basically told her to fuck off. No prescription
> or
> > advice other than "make an appointment."
>
>
> That seems to be the way it goes in the GI office.
> I gave up on those doc's years ago. They always
> gave me the same song, lose weight, change your
> diet, exercise and take a shit load of
> prescription drugs. I did everything I was told to
> do with no results. I am either passing a bowling
> ball sized shit or blowing brown liquid out of my
> ass probably 250 days out of the year.
> The plumbers are working on my basement bathroom
> now, two redneck white guys and they are very
> nice. Tomorrow the electrical contractor will be
> here.


Sadly yes all the ass doctors so far dive, have been complete pain in the asses.

Glad to hear WASP types of construction workers are in your house.

Do you have any photos of the yellow groan throne?

Yes our bowels betray us, but we must be united in brown.

I just left dunkin donuts. The dump i took in their public restroom pretty much cleared the place out. The manager woman gave me a dirty look on the way out. That bitch goes about 300 pounds, i bet she lets some really bad shit out of her big black ass. Fuck her.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just left dunkin donuts. The dump i took in
> their public restroom pretty much cleared the
> place out. The manager woman gave me a dirty look
> on the way out. That bitch goes about 300 pounds,
> i bet she lets some really bad shit out of her big
> black ass. Fuck her.


Agreed. If she had our bowels shed understand.

Good Slovakia food. No problem.

I chuckle when:

(1) I'm at home and when dropping of the kids at the pool all that comes out is the excellent acoustics from the latrine.

(2) I am at work and the guy next to me lets out an extraordinary sound of magnitude....I have yet to man up and ask if he's ok and if he said something to me.......

LMAO.