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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: April 20, 2016 10:09AM

Morning BiBs! Coffee did it's work again this morning with another #4#2.

Hoping for well-behaved bowels for all today!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 20, 2016 11:25AM

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Morning BiBs! Coffee did it's work again this
> morning with another #4#2.
>
> Hoping for well-behaved bowels for all today!


Glad to hear yours are working like a well maintained Honda.

Do you have a Dodge transfer case?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: April 20, 2016 11:42AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deadly combo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Morning BiBs! Coffee did it's work again this
> > morning with another #4#2.
> >
> > Hoping for well-behaved bowels for all today!
>
>
> Glad to hear yours are working like a well
> maintained Honda.
>
> Do you have a Dodge transfer case?

LOL! Don't know, BO; would that equate to my normally healthy bowels?

I did have a 3 am dump the other morning (felt like a second or third cousin to 5 am guy...lol). I think it had to do with the crushed red pepper I added to my dinner the other night. A bit spicy during the movement.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 20, 2016 12:33PM

It felt like this just came out of my ass.
Attachments:
618Z7W4FcBS._SL1000_.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 20, 2016 01:40PM

Deadly spicy is good in one end, but not so much at the end of the brown sewer line. The chocolate starfish will scream.

Dive, does this explain one of the firehouses missing their extinguishers?

Those ones hurt. Have you put your bowels on ice?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: April 20, 2016 02:57PM

Don't forget cocaine suppositories Brownie, use em if ya got em.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 20, 2016 07:50PM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't forget cocaine suppositories Brownie, use em
> if ya got em.


Eric Claptons song is true in many regards. Yes I think tonight I'll insert Rick James through my rectum. Maybe even Len Bias.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 20, 2016 08:27PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deadly spicy is good in one end, but not so much
> at the end of the brown sewer line. The chocolate
> starfish will scream.
>
> Dive, does this explain one of the firehouses
> missing their extinguishers?
>
> Those ones hurt. Have you put your bowels on ice?


It hurt real bad Brown.

I came home from work and soaked my sore starfish in the Jacuzzi for an hour, Mrs dive so nice as to bring me three ice cold beers while I was in there.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 20, 2016 08:30PM

How are you doing Brown?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5 am guy ()
Date: April 21, 2016 04:53AM

Good morning all! 5 am guy checking in again. 5am guy just got back from a short fishing trip. 5 am guy took a couple days of leave to go fishing down in Paint Bank Va. 5am guy's cousin has a cottage down there in paint bank. The cottage has no indoor plumbing and 5am guy has been using a outhouse!
5am guy thinks outhouses can be fun, this outhouse had a stack of MAD magazines from the 80s and 90s and that made for very good outhouse entertainment. One thing about a outhouse is that there is no way to clog it. You can take a dump the size of a pickle bucket and use 4 entire rolls of charmin to wipe and still no clog!
5 am guy is back at work tonight and has to work this weekend. Sleep well my friends, 5am guy is taking dumps and keeping an eye on things all night long.


PS If yall ever get to paint bank be sure to eat at the swinging bridge! The food is "slap your Mama" good.

http://www.theswingingbridge.com/index.php

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: April 21, 2016 09:14AM

Tasty looking items on the menu, 5 am! If I'm ever down that way I'll make it a point to have a meal there.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 21, 2016 09:32AM

Dive you have the best bowel buddy ever. You married well. She's definitely a woman who puts up with your shit.

5 am that's phenomenal and along with deadly, I am curious about outhouses. Especially if they have lots of reading materials, considering groan throne time can be extensive.

My only concern with the outhouse, is that a bear might confuse my screams of angst as a mating call.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 21, 2016 02:18PM

I'm sad to hear of Prince dying. Amazing what one can learn on the groan throne . Yet here the doves don't cry, they fall fast.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: April 21, 2016 02:49PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm sad to hear of Prince dying. Amazing what one
> can learn on the groan throne . Yet here the doves
> don't cry, they fall fast.

Vile and repugnant. Have you no shame?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: April 21, 2016 02:54PM

In honor of Prince, my bowels chose to eject a stool the size of a Corvette, colored like a Raspberry beret.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: April 21, 2016 04:55PM

I wish steam cleaning cost less. Each time my Daewoo is now $250. Don't know what to do.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Psyllium ()
Date: April 21, 2016 05:00PM

For a good cleansing of the bowels I recommend psyllium. You can get a bucket of it at Trader Joe's for 7 bucks. Start out with 3-4 tbs. mixed in a full glass of water with a splash of OJ for flavor. Chug it. Your bowels will thank you.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: April 21, 2016 07:02PM

Psyllium Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For a good cleansing of the bowels I recommend
> psyllium. You can get a bucket of it at Trader
> Joe's for 7 bucks. Start out with 3-4 tbs. mixed
> in a full glass of water with a splash of OJ for
> flavor. Chug it. Your bowels will thank you.


It doesn't do shit.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: April 21, 2016 07:06PM

Psyllium created a bowel obstruction. I had to get surgery, and almost died from a post-op infection.


Great advice.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 21, 2016 09:29PM

My butt my poor rectum I apologize to you. That crap made me scream, but to my bowels and the starfish, it's time to get a sympathy card at Hallmark.

And to my neighbors sorry. The HOA hasn't bothered me since the fucking dot head complained, but I'm sorry if children in the community have nightmares.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: butthurtz ()
Date: April 22, 2016 11:59AM

Uranus.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 22, 2016 04:59PM

butthurtz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Uranus.


Actually that's Gerrys planet. I dropped it earlier. Smelled of liberal paki goulash.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: April 22, 2016 06:40PM

Do any of you get the shakes prior to diarrhea? It's just a bad feeling

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dave Johns ()
Date: April 22, 2016 08:29PM

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do any of you get the shakes prior to diarrhea?
> It's just a bad feeling

I do plus cramps

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: meringueblueberry ()
Date: April 23, 2016 03:47AM

butthurtz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Uranus.


It is only recently with advents in modern science and deep space penetrating instruments, that we have been able to fully immerse ourselves in the wonders of Uranus.

The first man in Uranus will blaze a trail for many men to come.

I’ve spent my whole life trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but I keep coming back to Uranus.

The first close-up pictures of Uranus were taken in 1986 and captivated the world.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 23, 2016 06:13AM

I feel like my bowels are the epitome of a Shakespeare tragedy.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 23, 2016 06:50AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I feel like my bowels are the epitome of a
> Shakespeare tragedy.


“Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!”

Macbeth


Feel better soon buddy!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 23, 2016 07:21AM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I feel like my bowels are the epitome of a
> > Shakespeare tragedy.
>
>
> “Double, double, toil and trouble;
> Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!”
>
> Macbeth
>
Thank you dive. That seems appropriate.

How are your bowels?
>
> Feel better soon buddy!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 23, 2016 07:40AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > I feel like my bowels are the epitome of a
> > > Shakespeare tragedy.
> >
> >
> > “Double, double, toil and trouble;
> > Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!”
> >
> > Macbeth
> >
> Thank you dive. That seems appropriate.
>
> How are your bowels?
> >
> > Feel better soon buddy!


Thanks for asking Brown. My bowels have been good since that fire extinguisher sized load was delivered earlier in the week. Mrs Dive and I are packing boxes today to get ready for our move. We are using a moving company but we are going to store our family photos and important items separately in my rich asshole brothers basement.
Next Friday I turn in my two week notice at work. The maintenance man will be so happy.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: April 23, 2016 09:12AM

I had bratwurst with cheese last night. Today I'm in severe pain. It's my fault. I know better but it's difficult.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: EDFFM ()
Date: April 23, 2016 11:55AM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Psyllium created a bowel obstruction. I had to get
> surgery, and almost died from a post-op infection.
>
>
>
> Great advice.


I dont believe you.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Wally Joyner ()
Date: April 23, 2016 12:54PM

Don't believe that person or others here. Bunch of pussies.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Jhonny bravo ()
Date: April 23, 2016 01:41PM

"My bowels really want to hurt me"


by, Jhonny Bravo



My bowels really want to hurt me
My bowels really want to make me cry

Big wide turds that really burn me
I just want ask you why
My poor starfish is burning
For a colostomy I am yearning
Precious people always tell me
That's a step a step too far

My bowels really want to hurt me
My bowels really want to make me cry
My bowels really want to hurt me
My bowels really want to make me cry

I don't know how I got the notion
That pizza hut was having a sales promotion
That food caused a digestive commotion
Now my bowels are churning in slow motion

My bowels really want to hurt me
My bowels really want to make me cry
My bowels really want to hurt me
My bowels really want to make me cry

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 23, 2016 02:48PM

Dive congrats on your move. Does the new groan throne room have him and hers?

Diced don't feel alone as its your colon that controls what you eat not your brain. Our bowels can be good to us or in your case a nightmare from cuisine hell.

Mr Bravo is the ultimate bowel buddy, and a round of applause with soaped hands, as we don't want shit flying around.

Fun fact: pink eye is caused by shit.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 23, 2016 08:34PM

I got a call from an old college buddy today, he is in town and wants me to meet him at Hooters in Manassas tomorrow. Wings and beer on a Sunday may be too much for my system. Mrs Dive has offered to shuttle me there and back so as I don't get a DWI. I guess I will go and call out sick Monday. Sometimes you gotta put bro's before bowel woes.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 23, 2016 08:43PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I got a call from an old college buddy today, he
> is in town and wants me to meet him at Hooters in
> Manassas tomorrow. Wings and beer on a Sunday may
> be too much for my system. Mrs Dive has offered to
> shuttle me there and back so as I don't get a DWI.
> I guess I will go and call out sick Monday.
> Sometimes you gotta put bro's before bowel woes.


Very true. Yes Bros before bowel woes is a good statement.

Mrs Dive you are a lucky man. A bowel buddy in every regard. She should get a award for this. You married well dive.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5 am guy ()
Date: April 24, 2016 03:17AM

Hi all! 5am guy checking in very early tonight. 5am guy takes his lunch break at 3am each day. 5am guy is very excited because 5am guy has a whole chicken with a bunch of veggies cooking at home in 5am guys brand new crock pot! 5am guy set the crock pot to run for 5 hours. When 5am guy gets home from work there will be freshly cooked chicken with potatos, carrots and celery waiting for him along with a 12 pack of bass ale. While the majority of the world is at church 5am guy will be getting drunk and eating chicken!

5am guy wishes everyone good bowels!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 24, 2016 09:35AM

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in very early tonight.
> 5am guy takes his lunch break at 3am each day. 5am
> guy is very excited because 5am guy has a whole
> chicken with a bunch of veggies cooking at home in
> 5am guys brand new crock pot! 5am guy set the
> crock pot to run for 5 hours. When 5am guy gets
> home from work there will be freshly cooked
> chicken with potatos, carrots and celery waiting
> for him along with a 12 pack of bass ale. While
> the majority of the world is at church 5am guy
> will be getting drunk and eating chicken!
>
> 5am guy wishes everyone good bowels!


Good luck to your bowels. The meal selection seems reasonable but I worry about those beers making it a holy Sunday in the wrong way

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: April 24, 2016 10:52AM

Alcohol consumption is absolutely unacceptable with IBS.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: April 24, 2016 11:32AM

Today I will eat Slovakian foods. They are nice. They cause less problems then American foods.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: damn2 ()
Date: April 24, 2016 12:03PM

Jhonny bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "My bowels really want to hurt me"
>
>
> by, Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
> My bowels really want to hurt me
> My bowels really want to make me cry
>
> Big wide turds that really burn me
> I just want ask you why
> My poor starfish is burning
> For a colostomy I am yearning
> Precious people always tell me
> That's a step a step too far
>
> My bowels really want to hurt me
> My bowels really want to make me cry
> My bowels really want to hurt me
> My bowels really want to make me cry
>
> I don't know how I got the notion
> That pizza hut was having a sales promotion
> That food caused a digestive commotion
> Now my bowels are churning in slow motion
>
> My bowels really want to hurt me
> My bowels really want to make me cry
> My bowels really want to hurt me
> My bowels really want to make me cry


^^GAY^^

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 24, 2016 01:50PM

damn2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jhonny bravo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > "My bowels really want to hurt me"
> >
> >
> > by, Jhonny Bravo
> >
> >
> >
> > My bowels really want to hurt me
> > My bowels really want to make me cry
> >
> > Big wide turds that really burn me
> > I just want ask you why
> > My poor starfish is burning
> > For a colostomy I am yearning
> > Precious people always tell me
> > That's a step a step too far
> >
> > My bowels really want to hurt me
> > My bowels really want to make me cry
> > My bowels really want to hurt me
> > My bowels really want to make me cry
> >
> > I don't know how I got the notion
> > That pizza hut was having a sales promotion
> > That food caused a digestive commotion
> > Now my bowels are churning in slow motion
> >
> > My bowels really want to hurt me
> > My bowels really want to make me cry
> > My bowels really want to hurt me
> > My bowels really want to make me cry
>
>
> ^^GAY^^

Not at all, I think you are jealous of Mr. Bravos talent.

Time and time again Mr Bravo has shown excellence along with cerebral diligence.

How are your bowels?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 24, 2016 02:24PM

Oh man those hooters wings were good, I just got home and I will continue to drink cold beer till I pass out. Maybe call out sick in the morning.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 24, 2016 02:25PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh man those hooters wings were good, I just got
> home and I will continue to drink cold beer till I
> pass out. Maybe call out sick in the morning.


Glad you had fun. Do you think your bowels are going to resemble Mount Vesuvius?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 24, 2016 02:36PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Oh man those hooters wings were good, I just
> got
> > home and I will continue to drink cold beer till
> I
> > pass out. Maybe call out sick in the morning.
>
>
> Glad you had fun. Do you think your bowels are
> going to resemble Mount Vesuvius?


That is a real possibility Brown. Mrs Dive is busy covering the floor in my bathroom with old beach towels in case things get messy. She does not approve of my occasional drunken episodes but she supports me anyway and never complains. If she ever left me I would blow my brains out.

Hope you are doing well Brown.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 24, 2016 04:32PM

She's wonderful dive, she is a brown angel in your corner.

Today is thanks to the ladies day. My sister Matilda helped hold my hand, as I dropped a large crap of epic proportions. The Keigel exercises helped.

Today I think back to her letters when I was in Nam fighting gooks and crapping in holes or in the jungles.

My bowels were better then. I'm glad not to be on active duty with these what's left of my bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 24, 2016 08:13PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> She's wonderful dive, she is a brown angel in your
> corner.
>
> Today is thanks to the ladies day. My sister
> Matilda helped hold my hand, as I dropped a large
> crap of epic proportions. The Keigel exercises
> helped.
>
> Today I think back to her letters when I was in
> Nam fighting gooks and crapping in holes or in the
> jungles.
>
> My bowels were better then. I'm glad not to be on
> active duty with these what's left of my bowels.


Thank you for your service to our country.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 25, 2016 07:01AM

Thank you dive it was an honor. Now to flush Ho Chi Minh. This ones going to smell like the rats those third world shits eat.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: April 25, 2016 08:45AM

Interesting reading as always gents. You have my support.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: April 25, 2016 12:25PM

This is a typical prison meal. Do you guys think you could survive eating like this every day?
Attachments:
jail-foodpromo.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 25, 2016 04:12PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is a typical prison meal. Do you guys think
> you could survive eating like this every day?


That looks bad. Even worse having to shit it out in a cell with a audience. I hope I never have to go to the big house.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 25, 2016 06:46PM

I agree with dive and welcome back Red. That's horrible!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: April 26, 2016 06:57AM

I thought it would be kewl to share this modern art with yall. This is supposed to represent constipation. All these turds are waiting to drop.
Attachments:
dulcolax-hed-2014.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 26, 2016 07:13AM

That's great red onion, and those foods definitely lead to that. I might have to hang this painting next to my Bristol stool guide.

Did you ever hear about the wardens bowels when you were in their or the guards perhaps? Their diets being questionable, you've got me thinking about doing a documentary at a prison, and learning more about their bowels. They should feel comfortable discussing their bowels, as this might lead to them treating inmates better food wise at least.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dr Diarrhea ()
Date: April 26, 2016 09:55AM

I like working with the colon mucous a lot. It's showing results in more test subjects.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: April 26, 2016 11:29AM

Steak and cheese is not bowel friendly.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: April 26, 2016 01:34PM

Afternoon BiBs!

Two for two on #4#2s today. I must be lucky; I should go play the lottery.

Hope everyone is having uneventful movements today!

I also like the "constipation" painting Red Onion; thanks for sharing with the group!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 26, 2016 02:18PM

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Afternoon BiBs!
>
> Two for two on #4#2s today. I must be lucky; I
> should go play the lottery.
>
> Hope everyone is having uneventful movements
> today!
>
> I also like the "constipation" painting Red Onion;
> thanks for sharing with the group!

This is a great painting, agreed deadly. Just trying to find it now to frame in the living room. Michelangelo has nothing on this masterpiece.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 26, 2016 07:43PM

Paramedics with clothes pins on their noses. Unreal. I appreciate being hoisted off the groan throne but sensitivity training would be great. Plus to the medic who laughed at my Bristol Stool Guide can kiss my ass.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: aunt alice ()
Date: April 26, 2016 10:36PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Paramedics with clothes pins on their noses.
> Unreal. I appreciate being hoisted off the groan
> throne but sensitivity training would be great.
> Plus to the medic who laughed at my Bristol Stool
> Guide can kiss my ass.


I hope your bowels explode. Phony loser.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 27, 2016 09:01AM

I think the hooters wings just exited my system. They burned like fire on the way out. I am now typing up my resignation for my boss,I am going to mention that this place is a hostile workplace for those who suffer with IBS and that the workplce bullying i have endured because of my disability has been unbearable. I was going to wait till Friday to put in my two week notice but decided to do it today after getting a fucked up look from my boss when I passed him in the stairwell with a newspaper tucked under my arm.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 27, 2016 09:36AM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think the hooters wings just exited my system.
> They burned like fire on the way out. I am now
> typing up my resignation for my boss,I am going to
> mention that this place is a hostile workplace for
> those who suffer with IBS and that the workplce
> bullying i have endured because of my disability
> has been unbearable. I was going to wait till
> Friday to put in my two week notice but decided to
> do it today after getting a fucked up look from my
> boss when I passed him in the stairwell with a
> newspaper tucked under my arm.


Dive I'm sorry to hear this, and I wish you and your bowels the best of luck.

Under the ADA act, I believe our bowels technically could be considered a disability. Maybe a lawyer with brown legal briefs can help you. Your boss is a bloody rectum.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: April 27, 2016 12:09PM

Best of luck to you, Dive!

How are all the BiBs doing today?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 27, 2016 12:40PM

Thanks guys. I placed my resignation letter on my bosses desk, I guess he will see it when he gets back from his 2 hour lunch break. Sometimes when people put in 2 weeks notice they they will tell them to leave right away but still pay them for the last 2 weeks, I would be loving it if that happens. I got a couple cardboard boxes ready to go.
Would it be too much if I left a turd in the ductwork before I leave?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 27, 2016 03:36PM

Matilda is in the hospital with a twisted bowel. Please keep her in your prayers .

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: April 27, 2016 03:57PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thanks guys. I placed my resignation letter on my
> bosses desk, I guess he will see it when he gets
> back from his 2 hour lunch break. Sometimes when
> people put in 2 weeks notice they they will tell
> them to leave right away but still pay them for
> the last 2 weeks, I would be loving it if that
> happens. I got a couple cardboard boxes ready to
> go.
> Would it be too much if I left a turd in the
> ductwork before I leave?

Does he have his own private bathroom? Could leave him an upper-decker if his toilet has a tank...lol.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: April 27, 2016 03:58PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Matilda is in the hospital with a twisted bowel.
> Please keep her in your prayers .

Sorry to hear that, BO. I'll keep her in my thoughts, and hope she has a speedy recovery.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Seopy ()
Date: April 27, 2016 09:34PM

Just use rectim or asshole bowels wtf.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 28, 2016 08:57AM

I just got back from the hospital. Thank you for the well wishes as Matilda is going to be released today.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 28, 2016 08:57AM

Seopy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just use rectim or asshole bowels wtf.


Its bowels, the whole plumbing.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 28, 2016 09:23AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just got back from the hospital. Thank you for
> the well wishes as Matilda is going to be released
> today.


Glad to hear Brown. You are a great brother.
Attachments:
award.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: April 28, 2016 10:59AM

Glad your wife is in the hospital with professional GIs who know what they are doing. She should recover fast.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: April 28, 2016 02:34PM

I now believe these guys. Anon doctors posts are rude. He probably is just like all of them. Matilda is his sister!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: April 28, 2016 02:54PM

A meal of Tippys is going to end up bad.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 28, 2016 03:14PM

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A meal of Tippys is going to end up bad.


I know its hard Diced but you got to cut back on that stuff. I too eat bowel busting meals, I mean how can you never eat fried chicken or Tippys or Olive garden? I just try to consume weapons of ass destruction on Friday or Saturday night when I can stay close to the crapper for a day or two.
No one has all the answers and everyone here is different and I really have no right to give out advice but just know that most of us feel your pain and we will be here for you when others in the world may shun you or make fun of you.
I have found that drinking lots of water and sipping on a bottle of water during the night seems to help with digestion. I sure do wish you the best of luck Diced.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 28, 2016 07:21PM

My sister Matilda is suffering, but she will be discharged tomorrow. Far from the constant prodding of doctors with clothes pins on their noses or sniffer machines.

It was awful to see her on her stomach, spread eagle and being poked like she was some wetback criminal in East LA. The collars weren't necessary, nor were the various fingers and large objects is painful to watch.

Tonight I dropped a Sputnik sized crap. My guess is it's like the brown version of the snowball, as it goes 33 feet down to the starfish.

It's painful to have to drop large loads. Plus using a Hefty garbage bag instead of the groan throne was embarrassing. But it is better than the plumber with its snide comments and high bills.

My butt hurts but I wish my brothers in bowels well.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 29, 2016 08:27AM

Matilda is going to be out today. So glad she won't be wearing a dog collar and shackles naked, surrounded by rude medical staff.

From what I understand her bowels are squeaky clean.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: April 29, 2016 08:35AM

Here's to no more twisted bowels for you or your sister, BO. And TGIF to all the BiBs!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 29, 2016 11:22AM

Thank you Deadly. Ones colon should not look like a pretzel.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 29, 2016 11:22AM

My boss told me to go ahead and pack up my stuff today and he will pay me for the remainder of my 2 weeks notice and unused vacation pay. He wanted to take me out to lunch at Olive garden but I told him I was having some digestive issues and could not make it.
I spent 11 years of my life in this bowel-hostile work enviroment and feel like I just got out of jail. Mrs Dive said I should take a year off of work and relax. She is starting a new job this summer. We will have to pay the COBRA for a couple months to keep health insurance, its about a thousand bucks a month!

Glad to hear your sister is doing better Brown.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: April 29, 2016 12:07PM

Congrats on getting let go early with pay, Dive! And as BO has said before, Mrs. Dive is a keeper! Take her up on that year off!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dagger to the heart ()
Date: April 29, 2016 01:09PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My boss told me to go ahead and pack up my stuff
> today and he will pay me for the remainder of my 2
> weeks notice and unused vacation pay. He wanted to
> take me out to lunch at Olive garden but I told
> him I was having some digestive issues and could
> not make it.
> I spent 11 years of my life in this bowel-hostile
> work enviroment and feel like I just got out of
> jail. Mrs Dive said I should take a year off of
> work and relax. She is starting a new job this
> summer. We will have to pay the COBRA for a couple
> months to keep health insurance, its about a
> thousand bucks a month!
>
> Glad to hear your sister is doing better Brown.

11 years and the Olive Garden - dagger to the heart that...

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 29, 2016 02:06PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My boss told me to go ahead and pack up my stuff
> today and he will pay me for the remainder of my 2
> weeks notice and unused vacation pay. He wanted to
> take me out to lunch at Olive garden but I told
> him I was having some digestive issues and could
> not make it.
> I spent 11 years of my life in this bowel-hostile
> work enviroment and feel like I just got out of
> jail. Mrs Dive said I should take a year off of
> work and relax. She is starting a new job this
> summer. We will have to pay the COBRA for a couple
> months to keep health insurance, its about a
> thousand bucks a month!
>
> Glad to hear your sister is doing better Brown.


Your boss is definitely an example of those with superior bowels. He should be ashamed, but unfortunately he's an asshole. Congrats on getting out of a bowel hostile work environment. Thank you. Matilda is resting but hoping not to wake her up dropping a bass tracker boat. The Potomac hasn't seen nothing yet.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 29, 2016 02:07PM

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Congrats on getting let go early with pay, Dive!
> And as BO has said before, Mrs. Dive is a keeper!
> Take her up on that year off!


She definitely is a hero to the bowel trodden.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: April 29, 2016 06:43PM

TGIF! No more worry about hershey squirts in the company bathroom. At least from the comfort of home its better. Like brown stinky soup.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 29, 2016 07:20PM

It amazes me to this day. I invited my new neighbors over for dinner. Everything went pleasant, they are a young married couple. It was interesting to learn about them, welcome them to the neighborhood. Yet when I inquired about their bowels they got offended and left. Must be a California thing.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mike O'Meara Show Fan ()
Date: April 29, 2016 07:28PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It amazes me to this day. I invited my new
> neighbors over for dinner. Everything went
> pleasant, they are a young married couple. It was
> interesting to learn about them, welcome them to
> the neighborhood. Yet when I inquired about their
> bowels they got offended and left. Must be a
> California thing.

Shuttup peekza

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 29, 2016 07:38PM

Is peekza part of one's bowels ?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5 am guy ()
Date: April 30, 2016 05:02AM

Hi all! 5am guy here again. As most of you know 5am guy is Batshit CRAZY!

5am guy took a shit a couple hours ago in a dark bathroom with his laptop perched on a upside down trash can while watching fractal animation. 5am guy was really into it and sat on the toilet for over and hour. This was mesmerizing and ponderous beyond description. It really kicks ass on a HD screen. Check it out,


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCl-7AbyCsY

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 30, 2016 06:53AM

Interesting stuff 5 am guy. Hope your day isn't goulash

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 30, 2016 08:53AM

Good morning bib's. Best wishes to everyone and their bowels as well.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: April 30, 2016 09:44AM

The Slovakian food is helping. Maybe you all should try.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 06 ()
Date: April 30, 2016 10:38AM

You guys ever try this?
Attachments:
FartersChoice_lrg.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: April 30, 2016 02:15PM

Shit everywhere!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Supporter ()
Date: April 30, 2016 03:04PM

I am sorry. You all always have my prayers and support.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: April 30, 2016 03:24PM

Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The Slovakian food is helping. Maybe you all
> should try.

There is no doubt it would help.

But where can I get bryndzove halusky, kapustnica, buchty and goulash?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: April 30, 2016 03:25PM

God in heaven above blessed me with a normal sized number 4 today. I may celebrate with some bonchon spicy legs and coleslaw.

I'm thinking about driving to Vegas and back now that I'm temporarily retired. Anybody ever made that trip? I want to go only 300 or so miles a day and stop to see a few cool things along the way. I would appreciate any ideas.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: April 30, 2016 04:41PM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gordorsky Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The Slovakian food is helping. Maybe you all
> > should try.
>
> There is no doubt it would help.
>
> But where can I get bryndzove halusky, kapustnica,
> buchty and goulash?

Congrats on another patently immature post BEH.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 30, 2016 05:57PM

Red Onion does that work for the fetid aromas around the groan throne? Anything that could stop the buzzards in my house would be appreciated.

That's a major accomplishment dive. I think a round of appplause with clean hands is in order.

Gordo I'm curious, I'm at wits end with my bowels. Is there a Slovak store in the area?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 01, 2016 06:33AM

I think a train just fell out of my ass.

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