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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: June 24, 2016 01:50PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is Matilda,the sister of brown onion. Sadly
> things don't look good for him, as he's in the
> hospital after an apparent coronary. I will
> update when possible but please, if you could,
> pray for him.

Sorry to hear that, Matilda! I'll keep him in my thoughts.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: doc ()
Date: June 24, 2016 02:01PM

Well this should settle the argument of complaining about your bowels vs. common sense diet and exercise.

You spend your time complaining about your bowels, refuse to eat well or exercise and you have a heart problem. Best recovery wishes - hope you will choose to be a model citizen from now on, eat your greens, cut out the meat and walk every single day.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: purple onion ()
Date: June 24, 2016 02:02PM

My starfish is on fire after a quick McDonald's lunch I had to rush to the bathroom.(didn't even choose NE spicy food so wtf)I may be sitting on an ice pack this afternoon if I could just get out of here.
Brown onion, yer N my prayers, bro!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: June 24, 2016 04:54PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is Matilda,the sister of brown onion. Sadly
> things don't look good for him, as he's in the
> hospital after an apparent coronary. I will
> update when possible but please, if you could,
> pray for him.


Oh no! This is terrible news. I hope and pray Brown Onion will be okay. Thank you for keeping us informed Matilda.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Complete shit ()
Date: June 24, 2016 07:46PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is Matilda,the sister of brown onion. Sadly
> things don't look good for him, as he's in the
> hospital after an apparent coronary. I will
> update when possible but please, if you could,
> pray for him.


Yeah I'm sure his sister would pick up his bowel posts and give ffxu an update in the middle of it.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: June 25, 2016 06:30AM

I feel bad for Brownie, but this is just another example of the poor health care we're subject to. All the visits to the doctor, and an impending coronary goes undetected?

These so called "Board Certified" GI's are quacks. A flashlight up your ass, a bill to pay, and you're scooted out of the office.

Brownies doctor should be sued for malpractice. Too bad you have to endure a tragedy before some shyster lawyer pays attention.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: June 25, 2016 11:31AM

I have had at least 4 heart attacks in the last 8 years. Heart attacks are really not that bad. Brown onion will be back on track in no time.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: June 25, 2016 08:10PM

Risk of Ischemic Heart Disease in Patients With IBD


www.medscape.com/viewarticle/782617

Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) is a chronic inflammatory disorder. Systemic inflammation increases the risk of atherosclerosis and ischaemic heart disease (IHD).

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Supporter ()
Date: June 26, 2016 01:07AM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Risk of Ischemic Heart Disease in Patients With
> IBD
>
>
> www.medscape.com/viewarticle/782617
>
> Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) is a chronic
> inflammatory disorder. Systemic inflammation
> increases the risk of atherosclerosis and
> ischaemic heart disease (IHD).


Anon Doc is going to be soooo upset you posted this before him. Rofl he doesn't know what he's talking about anyway.

Anyway, info good to know. Ty

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: June 26, 2016 05:26AM

Supporter baby, Anon Doc is a quack. Remember, the bottom of the class becomes GI specialists. They are truly the worst of the lot, even worse than medical examiners, who at least can't hurt anyone.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: June 26, 2016 07:06AM

Staying at a Holiday inn express right now and I just dropped a load that stunk so bad I had to breathe through a damp washcloth. Mrs Dive has her own room so she was spared olfactory distress. Hotels nowadays don't have windows that open, sadly.

I keep thinking about and praying for Brown onion. I am worried.

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registered nurse Alicia dawn cook Clackamas Oregon
Posted by: i love nurse alicia dawn cook or ()
Date: June 26, 2016 09:53AM

Registered nurse Alicia dawn cook Clackamas Oregon is married to squish stuff owner Seth Comstock

http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/read/40/1338463.html

Oregon nurse Alicia dawn cook

10/10


Ghetto ghaggers
Attachments:
phpBocXyv
phpspXb9g
php5Pn7Af
phpWB52s0
phpiyO3TF

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Re: registered nurse Alicia dawn cook Clackamas Oregon
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: June 26, 2016 09:57AM

Not sure what's going on here but Brown and I are thankful. He's stable but looking better. Matilda

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Re: registered nurse Alicia dawn cook Clackamas Oregon
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: June 26, 2016 12:03PM

Glad he had the sense to go to a hospital.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Bowel Barbarian ()
Date: June 26, 2016 12:47PM

FUCK YOU, BO/gerrymanderer/peekza troll looking for fake sympathy by pretending to post as your make-believe sister. I hope your bowels explode.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Wally Joyner ()
Date: June 26, 2016 08:17PM

Fucking deserves it!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: oignon vert ()
Date: June 26, 2016 08:25PM

Hope Brown is ok

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: highly dubious ()
Date: June 27, 2016 10:54AM

BO hired a PR firm after he flamed the murdered victims in Orlando ('well I guess that is 50 less bowels being battered...') - they came up with this 'heart attack' scenario to garner sympathy for him on his poop thread.

Lets be honest if any one of us had a heart attack and went to the hospital, who would login and post on a thread about poop for us? Your mom, wife sister? I find this highly dubious. Think of yourself in the hospital with tubes sticking out of everywhere whispering to your loved on 'make sure you let the people on my disgusting poop thread on the vile website know I had a heart attack, *gasp*, okay'

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Red Turnip ()
Date: June 27, 2016 12:11PM

Brown Onion is a complete racist asshole, fuck him. This is all a fake bit on his part to gain attention from the gullibly stupid of this thread. Dont buy that moron's lies. He should be banned from this entire forum.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mauve Shallot ()
Date: June 27, 2016 02:45PM

Complete shit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > This is Matilda,the sister of brown onion.
> Sadly
> > things don't look good for him, as he's in the
> > hospital after an apparent coronary. I will
> > update when possible but please, if you could,
> > pray for him.
>
>
> Yeah I'm sure his sister would pick up his bowel
> posts and give ffxu an update in the middle of it.

Probably keeping all his followers on various gay scat fetish sites up to date too - she must be one busy 'Sister' (lol).

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: June 27, 2016 02:49PM

Cleaning the bathroom once again. I wish my spincter was stronger.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BO secretly posting ()
Date: June 27, 2016 02:51PM

^BO secretly posting as someone else to keep this pathetic thread going.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: ppoop ()
Date: June 27, 2016 04:41PM


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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: June 27, 2016 07:44PM

Brown Onion had successful heart surgery. My brother is going to have a tablet soon but he thanks you all. I do as well!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: June 28, 2016 09:01AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion had successful heart surgery. My
> brother is going to have a tablet soon but he
> thanks you all. I do as well!

Glad to hear the good news, Matilda. Thanks for the update!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Pringles and ice cream. ()
Date: June 28, 2016 09:52AM

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion had successful heart surgery. My
> > brother is going to have a tablet soon but he
> > thanks you all. I do as well!
>
> Glad to hear the good news, Matilda. Thanks for
> the update!

Didnt know this forum was so important to him that he would advise loved ones to post here while he is having life-saving surgery. Part of his priorities after nearly dying is getting a tablet to post comments about his poo? Talk about messed up.

On the bright side his bowel problems will be gone now that he will be forced to stop eating a diet consisting solely of Diet Coke, Pringles and ice cream.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Supporter ()
Date: June 29, 2016 08:58AM

... Never mind



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 06/29/2016 01:07PM by Supporter.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Supporter ()
Date: June 29, 2016 10:57AM

Lesson learned...

Limit intake of Mexican food to once a month, not 2 in 5 days. I've been in bed all a.m. with severe cramps and trips to the bathroom...which are painful.

I'm a lady so i will not get into disgusting details but I think Burritos is Spanish for "we make. Americans eat. They die on toilet."

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: itt ()
Date: June 29, 2016 01:46PM

highly dubious Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BO hired a PR firm after he flamed the murdered
> victims in Orlando ('well I guess that is 50
> less bowels being battered...'
) - they came up
> with this 'heart attack' scenario to garner
> sympathy for him on his poop thread.
>
> Lets be honest if any one of us had a heart attack
> and went to the hospital, who would login and post
> on a thread about poop for us? Your mom, wife
> sister? I find this highly dubious. Think of
> yourself in the hospital with tubes sticking out
> of everywhere whispering to your loved on 'make
> sure you let the people on my disgusting poop
> thread on the vile website know I had a heart
> attack, *gasp*, okay'

itt

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: June 29, 2016 03:38PM

I hope Brown Onion does better than my bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: June 29, 2016 04:40PM

We miss you Brown Onion!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: June 29, 2016 05:47PM

Hey Brown feel better and best wishes on a full recovery!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Underwear ()
Date: June 29, 2016 05:53PM

Fuck you!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: June 30, 2016 11:04AM

Another day of mopping the stall. It's getting worse. Each day . Every single day.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: June 30, 2016 11:14AM

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Another day of mopping the stall. It's getting
> worse. Each day . Every single day.


Go to a board certified GI. It might not be 100%, but a major improvement.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: June 30, 2016 11:53AM

Anon Doc. Wrote:
>
>
> Go to a board certified GI. It might not be 100%,
> but a major improvement.


It'll be a 100% waste of time, and a big improvement in the bank account for the "Board certified GI''.

Fucking quacks.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: June 30, 2016 01:56PM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anon Doc. Wrote:
> >
> >
> > Go to a board certified GI. It might not be
> 100%,
> > but a major improvement.
>
>
> It'll be a 100% waste of time, and a big
> improvement in the bank account for the "Board
> certified GI''.
>
> Fucking quacks.


Based upon your obtuse write ups user name BEH, you sound like a duck.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: June 30, 2016 02:05PM

I have found since my trip to Slovakia, to have lots of issues at work in my car. In Slovakia no cost for cleaning. The foods caused no issues. This area needs Slovak store.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: June 30, 2016 03:06PM

Thank you for the kind wishes. My heart is better, but unfortunately my bowels have been plundered. I hope you all and your bowels are doing okay.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: June 30, 2016 03:51PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you for the kind wishes. My heart is better,
> but unfortunately my bowels have been plundered. I
> hope you all and your bowels are doing okay.

Yes!!!!! Wonderful news!!!!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Supporter ()
Date: June 30, 2016 04:15PM

Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Anon Doc. Wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > Go to a board certified GI. It might not be
> > 100%,
> > > but a major improvement.
> >
> >
> > It'll be a 100% waste of time, and a big
> > improvement in the bank account for the "Board
> > certified GI''.
> >
> > Fucking quacks.
>
>
> Based upon your obtuse write ups user name BEH,
> you sound like a duck.


Good comeback "doc!!!!!!" What are you? Eight?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deetman ()
Date: July 01, 2016 08:02AM

What is this shit?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/01/2016 08:03AM by Deetman.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dumb f ()
Date: July 01, 2016 08:39AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you for the kind wishes. My heart is better,
> but unfortunately my bowels have been plundered. I
> hope you all and your bowels are doing okay.

More lies from the phony troller.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Thank your sister Methuselah ()
Date: July 01, 2016 09:36AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you for the kind wishes. My heart is better,
> but unfortunately my bowels have been plundered. I
> hope you all and your bowels are doing okay.

You may be going to the wrong doctors if they are messing with your bowels for a heart attack - just saying. Thank your sister Methuselah for keeping us up to date with your bad ticker (but not your bowels).

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: July 01, 2016 10:05AM

I'm happy BO is back but I should not have eaten nachos at the movies. The cheese they use is awful.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: July 01, 2016 11:26AM

Welcome back, BO, and here's to a speedy recovery!

Wishing all the BiBs a safe and bowel-friendly 4th of July holiday weekend!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: July 01, 2016 03:06PM

Brown. Best poster here.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 01, 2016 05:29PM

During my hospital stay, I want medical folks to know the term "evacuate your bowels," is not a particularly nice way of inquiring about your shit.

I know mine are large, like Agnes, but please use evacuate for hurricanes.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 01, 2016 09:35PM

First successful groan throne encounter since home.

Remember when Clint Eastwoods veins popped out in Heartbreak Ridge?

That's a perfect brown picture to put in your tool box tonight.

On a positive note, I got a return yell from a fox in heat.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dave Johns ()
Date: July 02, 2016 08:55AM

Ripe bananas are bad.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: July 02, 2016 09:32AM

Moved in our new house yesterday. Sure hope the groan thrones here will be up to the challenge of what my bowels are going to throw their way. The first test should be sometime in the next few hours.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: KdVKk ()
Date: July 02, 2016 12:02PM

BO your new diet will solve lots of your problems. Im guessing they have you on stool softeners still for a few more weeks. Miss your Pringles and back bacon yet?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 03, 2016 12:14AM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Moved in our new house yesterday. Sure hope the
> groan thrones here will be up to the challenge of
> what my bowels are going to throw their way. The
> first test should be sometime in the next few
> hours.


Is the canary yellow in yet?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 03, 2016 12:15AM

KdVKk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BO your new diet will solve lots of your problems.
> Im guessing they have you on stool softeners
> still for a few more weeks. Miss your Pringles
> and back bacon yet?


Dumbass. For some yes but my set is shit.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Bhfffh ()
Date: July 03, 2016 01:02AM

Fuck you BO/gerry. All of your trolls are garbage.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: July 03, 2016 07:07AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Moved in our new house yesterday. Sure hope the
> > groan thrones here will be up to the challenge
> of
> > what my bowels are going to throw their way.
> The
> > first test should be sometime in the next few
> > hours.
>
>
> Is the canary yellow in yet?

No, I spoke to a bathroom remodeler yesterday about putting the basement bathroom in for us. When I told him I wanted my nearly 50 year old canary yellow toilet completely rebuilt and outfitted with a toto washlet automatic toilet seat he looked at me like I was crazy.
He says he knows a guy who smuggles toilets in from Canada! Apparently Canada has no laws restricting toilets to the 1.6 gallon per flush limit we have here. The washlet seat is 600 dollars alone, with the other work I am looking at well over a thousand bucks to get my canary flying again but it's worth every cent.
How are you and your bowels Brown?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 03, 2016 08:39AM

That's very expensive dive, but I agree with you a worthwhile investment. Considering we spend a good portion of our lives on the groan throne, might as well make it comfortable for the inevitable screaming and sweaty forehead vein bulging episodes.

That's very interesting to learn about Canadian groan throne smuggling. Today goulash is in the forecast, but I wanted to wish you and the other brothers in bowel a happy 4th.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: eatwellfortehliving ()
Date: July 03, 2016 11:19AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That's very expensive dive, but I agree with you a
> worthwhile investment. Considering we spend a good
> portion of our lives on the groan throne, might as
> well make it comfortable for the inevitable
> screaming and sweaty forehead vein bulging
> episodes.
>
> That's very interesting to learn about Canadian
> groan throne smuggling. Today goulash is in the
> forecast, but I wanted to wish you and the other
> brothers in bowel a happy 4th.

goulash after heart surgery - you are either lying or terminally stupid. How is your sister Maureen or whatever? How did she like looking at all the disgusting posts here while you were near death?


http://www.livestrong.com/article/306273-foods-you-can-eat-after-heart-bypass/

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 03, 2016 11:37AM

eatwellfortehliving Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > That's very expensive dive, but I agree with you
> a
> > worthwhile investment. Considering we spend a
> good
> > portion of our lives on the groan throne, might
> as
> > well make it comfortable for the inevitable
> > screaming and sweaty forehead vein bulging
> > episodes.
> >
> > That's very interesting to learn about Canadian
> > groan throne smuggling. Today goulash is in
> the
> > forecast, but I wanted to wish you and the
> other
> > brothers in bowel a happy 4th.
>
> goulash after heart surgery - you are either lying
> or terminally stupid. How is your sister Maureen
> or whatever? How did she like looking at all the
> disgusting posts here while you were near death?
>
>
> http://www.livestrong.com/article/306273-foods-you
> -can-eat-after-heart-bypass/


I eat just fine asshole. As for Matilda, she's great and likes this forum. She should be at my residence soon, as she's getting lunch from some slant eyed restaurant. I hope there are no Iguana eating El Salvadorian people with dirty hands cooking the meal.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Uncle Ralphy Says ()
Date: July 03, 2016 12:15PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> eatwellfortehliving Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > That's very expensive dive, but I agree with
> you
> > a
> > > worthwhile investment. Considering we spend a
> > good
> > > portion of our lives on the groan throne,
> might
> > as
> > > well make it comfortable for the inevitable
> > > screaming and sweaty forehead vein bulging
> > > episodes.
> > >
> > > That's very interesting to learn about
> Canadian
> > > groan throne smuggling. Today goulash is in
> > the
> > > forecast, but I wanted to wish you and the
> > other
> > > brothers in bowel a happy 4th.
> >
> > goulash after heart surgery - you are either
> lying
> > or terminally stupid. How is your sister
> Maureen
> > or whatever? How did she like looking at all
> the
> > disgusting posts here while you were near death?
>
> >
> >
> >
> http://www.livestrong.com/article/306273-foods-you
>
> > -can-eat-after-heart-bypass/
>
>
> I eat just fine asshole. As for Matilda, she's
> great and likes this forum. She should be at my
> residence soon, as she's getting lunch from some
> slant eyed restaurant. I hope there are no Iguana
> eating El Salvadorian people with dirty hands
> cooking the meal.

1. You just had a heart attack and surgery - you do not eat fine.
2. Your sister likes threads with dic pics whose topic is poop.
3. You are a racist douchebag
4. You are homophobic
5. You are either lying about the heart attack or you are unfathomably stupid eating take-out one week after surgery. There is no 'slant-eyed' restaurant food recommended for post-op heart patients.

What really happened? Were you arrested? Did your same-sex lover have to post for you till you made bail?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 03, 2016 12:44PM

Uncle Ralphy Says Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > eatwellfortehliving Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Brown Onion Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > That's very expensive dive, but I agree
> with
> > you
> > > a
> > > > worthwhile investment. Considering we spend
> a
> > > good
> > > > portion of our lives on the groan throne,
> > might
> > > as
> > > > well make it comfortable for the inevitable
> > > > screaming and sweaty forehead vein bulging
> > > > episodes.
> > > >
> > > > That's very interesting to learn about
> > Canadian
> > > > groan throne smuggling. Today goulash is
> in
> > > the
> > > > forecast, but I wanted to wish you and the
> > > other
> > > > brothers in bowel a happy 4th.
> > >
> > > goulash after heart surgery - you are either
> > lying
> > > or terminally stupid. How is your sister
> > Maureen
> > > or whatever? How did she like looking at all
> > the
> > > disgusting posts here while you were near
> death?
> >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> http://www.livestrong.com/article/306273-foods-you
>
> >
> > > -can-eat-after-heart-bypass/
> >
> >
> > I eat just fine asshole. As for Matilda, she's
> > great and likes this forum. She should be at my
> > residence soon, as she's getting lunch from
> some
> > slant eyed restaurant. I hope there are no
> Iguana
> > eating El Salvadorian people with dirty hands
> > cooking the meal.
>
> 1. You just had a heart attack and surgery - you
> do not eat fine.
> 2. Your sister likes threads with dic pics whose
> topic is poop.
> 3. You are a racist douchebag
> 4. You are homophobic
> 5. You are either lying about the heart attack or
> you are unfathomably stupid eating take-out one
> week after surgery. There is no 'slant-eyed'
> restaurant food recommended for post-op heart
> patients.
>
> What really happened? Were you arrested? Did
> your same-sex lover have to post for you till you
> made bail?


You've got butt hurt severely. Let's talk about your bowels. Please stay on topic.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: July 03, 2016 01:21PM

My ass feels like it was shot by a roman candle. The toilets in my new house are clearly not up to the task. I am going to call the Canadian toilet smuggler first thing on tuesday.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 03, 2016 02:06PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My ass feels like it was shot by a roman candle.
> The toilets in my new house are clearly not up to
> the task. I am going to call the Canadian toilet
> smuggler first thing on tuesday.


So guessing Mrs. Dive gets a free fireworks show?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: July 03, 2016 03:20PM

Mrs Dive has been unpacking boxes all day while I was sitting on the shitter and now she is taking a nap. I think the multiple hotel nights and staying in our friends basement while sharing a single toilet with me has really taken a toll on her. I think I better run out and get a bottle of her favorite wine and some flowers. Sadly, I need to pack my crack full of paper napkins before I go as leakage is currently an issue.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 03, 2016 04:35PM

Dive yes I think that, make sure the wine doesn't have a brownish hue, would go a large distance as she's taking one for the team right now. Moving is stressful, whether giant shits or into a new house. Hang in there.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 03, 2016 04:43PM

The sweltering heat emanating from my groan throne, the screams of woe, and the other various noises has forced my neighbors hands. Those are clean I'm sure, but as usual police and paramedics with clothes pins on their noses.

Its embarrassing. To hear one of the medics make remarks about the stench, and the size of my brown deposit, it's humiliating. The officer charging my bathroom with the gun out looking for a decomposing body, I may have to see a professional therapist. Not sure if I can do anything. Maybe have a brown flag outside my house, so that they know it's me, or if notes can be put in the dispatch center that my bowels are the problem, it's not a crime scene.

The water authority officials might have a clogged pipe. That's definitely a example of checking the pipes. My poor bowels have disgraced me again, and I wonder if bowel transplants are possible.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: July 03, 2016 07:44PM

I laugh with nother at you. Funny shit onion

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: scat freak ()
Date: July 03, 2016 11:15PM

Eating takeout after your 'heart surgery' no wonder your bowels are bad off. That or you are a scat freak making shit up.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 04, 2016 08:52AM

scat freak Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Eating takeout after your 'heart surgery' no
> wonder your bowels are bad off. That or you are a
> scat freak making shit up.


Happy Fourth of July, and my diet doesn't have anything to do with the bewildering betrayal of my bowels.

My recent heart procedure worked unlike my bowels, which have been battered and bruised.

I hope your rectum and others here with bad bowels survive the festivities.

A good go pack for brothers in bowel going to celebrate in DC with chocolate faces would be this:

Moist towelettes, toilet paper of high quality, witch hazel, sitz bath materials, and being close to a groan throne.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: July 04, 2016 09:18AM

I suppose I had my fireworks early.

It's not fun having The Grande Finale in your anus.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 04, 2016 10:00AM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I suppose I had my fireworks early.
>
> It's not fun having The Grande Finale in your
> anus.


Sorry BEH. Today we should be able to celebrate our nations birthday, but unfortunately our bowels dictate our level of activity. Happy 4th to you, and let's hope our collective groan throne time amounts to something. I wish someone would shoot off brown fireworks for IBS awareness.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: July 04, 2016 11:59AM

If you idiots had any common sense, you already would have had an appointment with a board certified GI.

I do wish everyone a safe and happy 4th of July. Foods such as blueberries and other fruits, should have a place in your picnic baskets.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: July 04, 2016 01:19PM

I shit my pants at the Fairfax parade earlier. It was so embarrassing riding the Cue bus. Blue jeans covered up the stain but it wasn't a pleasant experience.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 04, 2016 03:50PM

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I shit my pants at the Fairfax parade earlier. It
> was so embarrassing riding the Cue bus. Blue jeans
> covered up the stain but it wasn't a pleasant
> experience.


That will certainly keep homosexuals away from your bowels. Still not fun but believe in putting things into their proper brown perspective.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: July 04, 2016 04:09PM

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I shit my pants at the Fairfax parade earlier. It
> was so embarrassing riding the Cue bus. Blue jeans
> covered up the stain but it wasn't a pleasant
> experience.

Take a look at how they handle that situation in China!

Try that in the USA and your next poop will be in a detention center toilet.
Attachments:
poooopt.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 04, 2016 04:21PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Splatter Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I shit my pants at the Fairfax parade earlier.
> It
> > was so embarrassing riding the Cue bus. Blue
> jeans
> > covered up the stain but it wasn't a pleasant
> > experience.
>
> Take a look at how they handle that situation in
> China!
>
> Try that in the USA and your next poop will be in
> a detention center toilet.

That's shocking but in a way the slant eyes have shown, when you have to go you have to go.

I'm wondering if in Beijing, that talking about bowels would be more acceptable than here.

That makeshift groan throne, shows at least a little less indifference than on a bus here. Especially for people here like Gordo and Splatter.

Has anyone been to China here? Is it okay to discuss Great Wall sized defecations while dining on Peking duck?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: July 04, 2016 04:43PM

The toilets in my new house are made by Briggs. This is my first experience with Briggs products and it is not good. I cant wait to talk to the Canadian toilet smuggler tomorrow. Hopefully he will have a Canadian American standard that I can pick up right away. I am willing to pay top dollar if need be. Mrs Dive thinks I am crazy and says her Briggs toilet is just fine.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 04, 2016 04:49PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The toilets in my new house are made by Briggs.
> This is my first experience with Briggs products
> and it is not good. I cant wait to talk to the
> Canadian toilet smuggler tomorrow. Hopefully he
> will have a Canadian American standard that I can
> pick up right away. I am willing to pay top dollar
> if need be. Mrs Dive thinks I am crazy and says
> her Briggs toilet is just fine.


More proof that groan thrones aren't one sized all.

It is sad that we must deal with the bastards up north for groan thrones. I hope you and your smuggler, won't get in trouble with the authorities.

The government would probably punish a groan throne smuggler, while they let some toothless meth head distribute their shit to the masses.

Are you still having the yellow installed?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: July 04, 2016 05:28PM

I'd trade my incontinence for your issue.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: does miz have healthy bowels? ()
Date: July 04, 2016 05:35PM

how about lizze? Or Meade?

Discuss.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: July 04, 2016 05:46PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The toilets in my new house are made by Briggs.
> > This is my first experience with Briggs
> products
> > and it is not good. I cant wait to talk to the
> > Canadian toilet smuggler tomorrow. Hopefully he
> > will have a Canadian American standard that I
> can
> > pick up right away. I am willing to pay top
> dollar
> > if need be. Mrs Dive thinks I am crazy and says
> > her Briggs toilet is just fine.
>
>
> More proof that groan thrones aren't one sized
> all.
>
> It is sad that we must deal with the bastards up
> north for groan thrones. I hope you and your
> smuggler, won't get in trouble with the
> authorities.
>
> The government would probably punish a groan
> throne smuggler, while they let some toothless
> meth head distribute their shit to the masses.
>
> Are you still having the yellow installed?


Yes, old yeller is going in the basement. The plumbing is just roughed in down there and the entire bathroom has to be built. I have 3 contractors coming to give bids this week. In the meantime I need a decent throne in the bathroom in the hallway, Mrs Dive is keeping the master bathroom for herself and I am not allowed to stink it up. This entire situation is stressing me out and making my bowels even worse.
How are you doing after your medical procedure Brown?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Underwear ()
Date: July 04, 2016 07:06PM

Scat play lovers

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: a picture is worth a 1000 words ()
Date: July 04, 2016 10:26PM

does miz have healthy bowels? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> how about lizze? Or Meade?
>
> Discuss.


Does Meade's bowel's look healthy in this photo?
Attachments:
WHS Lax Scholar

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 05, 2016 06:16AM

That's not a pretty picture, and my guess is that's what brothers in bowel Gordo and Splatter go through.

Last night I passed a Kevin Durant sized shit. No millions of dollar contract.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Real Supporter ()
Date: July 05, 2016 08:56AM

Some asshole took my user name. Figures it's probably the doctor. Anyhow I like you men and being the only woman on here, I do feel really sorry for each and everyone of you. I hope you are doing alright, and I think nutrition has helped me a lot. Yet it's not a cure and the stomach pain hurts like hell. The cramping alone is a negative problem.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: July 05, 2016 09:29AM

I know it was a holiday, but funnel cake is the worst.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown_Onion ()
Date: July 05, 2016 11:18AM


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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 05, 2016 11:43AM

Thank you real supporter for clearing that up, as anon dick is a pile of cow dung.

Diced, as much lenience as I try to give, funnel cake is a big bowel no no.

And B-O that doesn't surprise me that those savages from that 3rd world shit hole do that. I'm sure in Afghanistan and Pakistan, the goats have become accustomed to people doing their bowel butter outside.

On a side note, my sisters rug rat grandson sent me a video "one guy one cup."

I think he needs counseling, and I might have to after viewing that. That mans bowels are bloody to say the least.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: July 05, 2016 11:48AM

The latest diagnosis isn't good. Shitting mid sized sedans isn't good for the rectal tissues

The only thing holding my beleaguered anus together are the hemorrhoids.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 05, 2016 12:01PM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The latest diagnosis isn't good. Shitting mid
> sized sedans isn't good for the rectal tissues
>
> The only thing holding my beleaguered anus
> together are the hemorrhoids.


That one guy one cup might be a way to clear the roids, and allow the Subaru and Honda sized amounts to clear out faster.

I wish your bowels Godspeed BEH.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 05, 2016 02:37PM

I sit here on the groan throne waiting for the inevitable.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: July 05, 2016 03:36PM

Back to work means the mr poopy pants signs and stickers.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: July 05, 2016 05:56PM

It appears there is no law against bringing a Canidian toilet into this country. I have orderd a wonderful 3.5 gallon per flush Toto brand toilet from a plumbing supply company in Canada and it should be here Friday! It does not meet code for residential installations in the usa. It appears there is no requirement to pull a plumbing permit for a toilet replacement in the county I live in. My plumbing contractor has agreed to install it Saturday morning.
If it was an issue my plumbing guy says I could get a doctor's note and apply for a code variance based on my bowel disability. This could be good news for IBS victims nationwide.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: softball in my ass ()
Date: July 05, 2016 07:22PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I sit here on the groan throne waiting for the
> inevitable.


the one time I had to take Percocet after surgery I remember day 4 not pooping. I just sat there feeling like I had a softball in my ass wondering what the procedure was for getting it out. It was like trying to push an elephant out of a phone booth. No idea how something that big got in there and less of an idea how to get it out.

Never taking that stuff again...

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Canadian Scheisse porn star ()
Date: July 06, 2016 05:11AM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It appears there is no law against bringing a
> Canidian toilet into this country.

Does she need a green card?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: July 06, 2016 10:16AM

Gordo remember you are the captain of your own destiny. You and not your bowels are what's your moral compass.

Dive thats great news on all sides, front and rear, and that county should be applauded for showing some respect to the bowel trodden.

Percocet is a nightmare. Instead of bringing you a basketball, it's either a small destroyer or air craft carrier.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: July 06, 2016 03:22PM

Every damn day. Fuck fuck fuck.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: July 06, 2016 03:41PM

Well I just dropped the mother-load. Plunging was required and brown splatter got on the brand new shower curtain and the floor. Fuck my life.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Supporter ()
Date: July 06, 2016 11:57PM

Real Supporter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Some asshole took my user name. Figures it's
> probably the doctor. Anyhow I like you men and
> being the only woman on here, I do feel really
> sorry for each and everyone of you. I hope you are
> doing alright, and I think nutrition has helped me
> a lot. Yet it's not a cure and the stomach pain
> hurts like hell. The cramping alone is a negative
> problem.


You are the SECOND woman on here. You may play your game but I am not. If you were the 'real' supporter you would have made the name as I did. And sorry to hear about your ass hole cuz it suits your face. If you insult me so shall I....once.

Carry on.

Nope Brown Onion. It's not anon doc. This is the original supporter whose evil twin is playing some sort of game. And by evil twin I don't mean me. Seems funny this person didn't user Supporter with a period at the end as they had before. Why is that? Just someone stirring up shit....... Ah! That was literal. lol



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/07/2016 12:03AM by Supporter.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: My bowels are fantastic ()
Date: July 07, 2016 08:17AM

My bowels are fantastic. I have maybe a dozen bad bowel days each year. Even then it usually only lasts 2 movements max. Constipation is worse than the squirts imho depending on duration. Only had constipation a couple times and only had a stomach virus at both ends once in my life - yuck.

I feel for the bowel trodden here but its almost impossible to believe lifestyle diet and exercise are not major factors.

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