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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: May 11, 2016 01:10PM

What is all this talk about a scat fetish?

Personally, I'd give a kidney to be able to move my bowels effortlessly, as most of the worlds population does. I'm not fan of those colon swelling, schphinkter stretching, rectum bruising, anal tearing stools that bedevil me twice a week.

Saying that someone who suffers from a disease has a fetish with the pain, discomfort and humiliation it causes is just absurd.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: May 11, 2016 01:25PM

In keeping with the recent discussion of what works for some, please bear in mind that the great majority of sufferers here find no relief no matter what they consume. For me, black coffee seems to get me going in the morning, and an apple/pear/grapes with lunch do the trick in the afternoon. These may work for others, then again they may not.

Cue Anon Doc with a recommendation to see a board-certified GI doc in 3...2...1...

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: butthurtz ()
Date: May 11, 2016 01:34PM

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He worked it out with a pencil.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 11, 2016 03:42PM

This is sad. A dude with tits or sand niggers with a suicide vest on, have more courtesies and respect than the bowel trodden. It's ok to have back hair with your D sized boobs, but we talk about bowels and have the scarlet B thrust upon our chests.

To those with superior bowels, congrats. But please be mindful that not everyone can enjoy your seamless pleasant eliminations.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: FunkyBrewsta ()
Date: May 11, 2016 08:23PM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What is all this talk about a scat fetish?
>
> Personally, I'd give a kidney to be able to move
> my bowels effortlessly, as most of the worlds
> population does. I'm not fan of those colon
> swelling, schphinkter stretching, rectum bruising,
> anal tearing stools that bedevil me twice a week.
>
>
> Saying that someone who suffers from a disease has
> a fetish with the pain, discomfort and
> humiliation it causes is just absurd.


People like Brown asking you to be a 'bowel buddy' and repeatedly asking you to describe your bowels and bowel movements is fetishism not casual conversation. No one is shaming him because of his difficulties its his infantile language 'starfish' and obsession with elimination and moreover his need to hear detailed narrative of others elimination(s) that is worthy of mocking (though not disdain).

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: your a peein ()
Date: May 12, 2016 02:52AM

These European one way glass public toilets are crazy! I was in one and really needed to drop a BIG log but could not relax enough to do it in that environment, tried to tell myself that I had privacy but seeing people walking by was just too much. Why the hell do they even build these things?
Attachments:
fancy_1a5110_127429.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Id pinch a loaf ()
Date: May 12, 2016 07:52AM

Id pinch a loaf in that mirrored thing no problem.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Taupe Scallion ()
Date: May 12, 2016 07:57AM

Id pinch a loaf Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Id pinch a loaf in that mirrored thing no problem.


Please tell us more about your bowels! Tell us all about your brown starfish and what happens on the Groan Throne. Also Bristol Stool Guide, rectal mirrors, nerve endings in the rectim, anatomy of your large and small intestine.

Do you have a hose-sized rectum and do you drop train-sized movements??? So excited to hear about it!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: bad gurl wit cranky butt ()
Date: May 12, 2016 09:54AM

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> In keeping with the recent discussion of what
> works for some, please bear in mind that the great
> majority of sufferers here find no relief no
> matter what they consume. For me, black coffee
> seems to get me going in the morning, and an
> apple/pear/grapes with lunch do the trick in the
> afternoon. These may work for others, then again
> they may not.
>
> Cue Anon Doc with a recommendation to see a
> board-certified GI doc in 3...2...1...

coffeee can be helpful. I enjoy its benefit. It's not a surefire cure-all to make it move everytime, but I have been a morning coffee and cigarettes person for a long time.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Truck driving man ()
Date: May 12, 2016 10:57AM

When you Drive the big rigs to get the hot freight from state to state you can find yourself in big trouble if you have bowel trouble. The truck-stops often have very tempting buffet style restaurants and many of them comp your meal if you buy 100 gallons or more of diesel fuel. It is real easy to overeat especially in very cold weather.
Nothing is worse than being caught on a long lonely highway with no place to drop your ass freight except for the frozen tundra. It's one thing if you have to dump and run but what can be really bad is when you have the every half hour shits. This happened to me in the Canadian north woods a few years back. Today this old trucker packs a box of depends and while I haven't had to use them yet I know the day will come.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 12, 2016 04:07PM

FunkyBrewsta Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > What is all this talk about a scat fetish?
> >
> > Personally, I'd give a kidney to be able to
> move
> > my bowels effortlessly, as most of the worlds
> > population does. I'm not fan of those colon
> > swelling, schphinkter stretching, rectum
> bruising,
> > anal tearing stools that bedevil me twice a
> week.
> >
> >
> > Saying that someone who suffers from a disease
> has
> > a fetish with the pain, discomfort and
> > humiliation it causes is just absurd.
>
>
> People like Brown asking you to be a 'bowel buddy'
> and repeatedly asking you to describe your bowels
> and bowel movements is fetishism not casual
> conversation. No one is shaming him because of
> his difficulties its his infantile language
> 'starfish' and obsession with elimination and
> moreover his need to hear detailed narrative of
> others elimination(s) that is worthy of mocking
> (though not disdain).


You are definitely not a bowel buddy.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 12, 2016 05:56PM

I sit here with a sore rump and disappointment. In this age of enlightenment, you can have a hairy back with breasts, or talk about diabetes, heart disease, or cancer. Its considered polite conversation, as people can freely talk about these without fear of reprisal or being treated as a second class citizen.

Yet mention bowels, and it's clothes pins on nose time, or you get looks of sinister uncaring of apocalyptic levels.

Equality and freedom of speech, don't seem to matter when it involves bowels.

Here you see brothers in bowels, bowel buddies and others, being treated as vermin by those with superior bowels. Then you have people like anon dick, who prey on our rectums like a buzzard does to a dying squirrel.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: May 12, 2016 07:01PM

The past few days have been messed up here. None of us are scat lovers. Rather we are real people with feelings and bowel problems. None of us likes shit.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dave Johns ()
Date: May 12, 2016 08:37PM

I don't like the nastiness here. Lately this board has become full of hate.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Adam tusk ()
Date: May 13, 2016 04:35AM

Vowels?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 13, 2016 05:39AM

You guys ever see "The worst toilet in Scotland" ?

Its interesting yet disturbing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJrWlHRT-18

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 13, 2016 06:16AM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You guys ever see "The worst toilet in Scotland"
> ?
>
> Its interesting yet disturbing.
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJrWlHRT-18


I won't be so angry with my groan throne anymore dive. That was horrible. Brings new meaning to poo in the loo.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 13, 2016 06:53AM

We have a plumber coming today to replace one groan throne and put a new wax ring on another one. The people buying our house want a few things addressed from their home inspectors list.
I will be sad to see that throne go away, we have been through a lot together. It is a canary yellow toilet from the basement bathroom which was the only bathroom in the house that was not renovated 12 years ago. Of course the new throne is going to be plain old white, plain old boring white (~sigh~)

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 13, 2016 09:36AM

Dive I feel your pain as we are intimately familiar with our groan thrones. They are an extension of our hearts and chocolate starfish. It can be tough, as the loss of a groan throne that can be cared about like a pet.

Is there any way Mrs Dive will allow you to get a groan throne of your choice?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: May 13, 2016 10:05AM

It could be Winston Churchhill, who said "if enough people hate you you've been successful." Keep it up BO!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: May 13, 2016 10:23AM

bad gurl wit cranky butt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> coffeee can be helpful. I enjoy its benefit. It's
> not a surefire cure-all to make it move everytime,
> but I have been a morning coffee and cigarettes
> person for a long time.

Glad to hear it helps you as well! Mornings when I know I'm going to be on the road for awhile I don't have any just to avoid having to make a pit stop.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: May 13, 2016 10:25AM

Truck driving man Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When you Drive the big rigs to get the hot freight
> from state to state you can find yourself in big
> trouble if you have bowel trouble. The truck-stops
> often have very tempting buffet style restaurants
> and many of them comp your meal if you buy 100
> gallons or more of diesel fuel. It is real easy to
> overeat especially in very cold weather.
> Nothing is worse than being caught on a long
> lonely highway with no place to drop your ass
> freight except for the frozen tundra. It's one
> thing if you have to dump and run but what can be
> really bad is when you have the every half hour
> shits. This happened to me in the Canadian north
> woods a few years back. Today this old trucker
> packs a box of depends and while I haven't had to
> use them yet I know the day will come.

At least you have the forethought to be prepared. Godspeed on the roads to you!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: May 13, 2016 11:06AM

More proof stupidity never solves anything.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: May 13, 2016 02:52PM

Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> More proof stupidity never solves anything.

Much like the medical profession

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 13, 2016 07:38PM

My rump roast had seen better days.

It seems my bowels had to experience the turbulence of throwing a volleyball through a garden hose.

Limping, midwives gone, it's going to be an ice pack on rectum kind of evening.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 13, 2016 08:39PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive I feel your pain as we are intimately
> familiar with our groan thrones. They are an
> extension of our hearts and chocolate starfish. It
> can be tough, as the loss of a groan throne that
> can be cared about like a pet.
>
> Is there any way Mrs Dive will allow you to get a
> groan throne of your choice?


Yes Brown, although Mrs Dive rolled her eyes when it happened I salvaged old yeller and got my neighbor to store it in his shed. I plan to have it rebuilt and installed at my next house.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Real IBS sufferer ()
Date: May 13, 2016 11:37PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My rump roast had seen better days.
>
> It seems my bowels had to experience the
> turbulence of throwing a volleyball through a
> garden hose.
>
> Limping, midwives gone, it's going to be an ice
> pack on rectum kind of evening.


You suck at trolling. There is nothing funny about mocking people with serious health issues. Go the fuck away.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Poop butt ()
Date: May 13, 2016 11:41PM

Real IBS sufferer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My rump roast had seen better days.
> >
> > It seems my bowels had to experience the
> > turbulence of throwing a volleyball through a
> > garden hose.
> >
> > Limping, midwives gone, it's going to be an ice
> > pack on rectum kind of evening.
>
>
> You suck at trolling. There is nothing funny about
> mocking people with serious health issues. Go the
> fuck away.
Attachments:
zglpLti.gif

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 14, 2016 06:51AM

OMG, a large #4 #2 just got dropped. What a great way to start a Saturday! Going to Fredericksburg today to look at a car for Mrs Dive and I have been thinking about going to Sonic for a footlong chili cheese dog with onions and honey mustard plus chili-cheese curly fries with a root beer float to wash it all down.
Mrs Dive is trying to tell me that while its okay to have a treat sometimes its not okay to engage in all out ass destruction. She says I should consider a regular hot dog and a diet pepsi.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: UncleSammY ()
Date: May 14, 2016 10:18AM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> OMG, a large #4 #2 just got dropped. What a great
> way to start a Saturday! Going to Fredericksburg
> today to look at a car for Mrs Dive and I have
> been thinking about going to Sonic for a footlong
> chili cheese dog with onions and honey mustard
> plus chili-cheese curly fries with a root beer
> float to wash it all down.
> Mrs Dive is trying to tell me that while its okay
> to have a treat sometimes its not okay to engage
> in all out ass destruction. She says I should
> consider a regular hot dog and a diet pepsi.

You sound like a real catch. Dont worry, BO will be your bowel buddy when your wife leaves you. You can giggle over old toilets and brown starfish into your old age. PS its ironic an asshole like you worries about his asshole while eating pig assholes at Sonic. Seems to be a pattern.

and Groan Throne

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 14, 2016 10:29AM

There's a disturbance in the brown force. Going to consult with Yoda via teleconference on the groan throne.

Either anon dick or Gerry is trying to divide the brown.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: May 14, 2016 01:09PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There's a disturbance in the brown force. Going to
> consult with Yoda via teleconference on the groan
> throne.
>
> Either anon dick or Gerry is trying to divide the
> brown.


I am not responsible for anyone's write ups, but I can assure you that I only submit write ups under my name.

With that being said, although I find the coarse language to be unnecessary, your immaturity has caught up with you .

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: May 14, 2016 01:28PM

Pancakes and sausage and coffee were good this morning but now it hurts. The pain in my abdomen hurts I can only wonder and worry about what's going to happen.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: May 14, 2016 01:30PM

Anon Doc. Wrote:
> I am not responsible foranyone's write ups, but I
> can assure you that I only submit write ups under
> my name.
>
> With that being said, although I find the coarse
> language to be unnecessary, your immaturity has
> caught up with you .



Whats caught up with us, A Doc, is the failure of modern medicine to give us even a modicum of relief.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Luclutus ()
Date: May 14, 2016 02:56PM

Thoughts?
Attachments:
image.jpeg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 14, 2016 06:29PM

Now that's a unique groan throne. I wonder how much that cost and what it's specs are.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: true bowel sufferer ()
Date: May 14, 2016 08:26PM

You fake bowel sufferers can F off!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onlon ()
Date: May 14, 2016 08:46PM

oh yes.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Radish ()
Date: May 14, 2016 09:28PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There's a disturbance in the brown force. Going to
> consult with Yoda via teleconference on the groan
> throne.
>
> Either anon dick or Gerry is trying to divide the
> brown.

hey dad is this the rite website you wear talking about? i had the same problem like u at school today i cant poop. anyway thank u 4 not flushing me when i was born

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Supporter ()
Date: May 14, 2016 10:05PM

I am the ORIGINAL Supporter; someone posted under my name a while back with some mean words. I'm now out of No Virginia but my first 50 years I was living in Ffx County.

Anywho, I do check here occasionally and see y'all are still suffering from your bowels. Let me just share something:

I am officially Lactose intolerant. Cheese, yogurt, ice cream, milk.....WAAAH!! Had combo of all those and paid for it dearly for 4 days.

I can now literally say, "I feel your pain."

Hang in there, guys!!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 15, 2016 06:12AM

Just dropped a normal poop! That makes two mornings in a row. I wonder if the stress from my job was affecting my bowels? They have been getting better since I retired.
How are you guys doing?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 15, 2016 09:08AM

Supporter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am the ORIGINAL Supporter; someone posted under
> my name a while back with some mean words. I'm now
> out of No Virginia but my first 50 years I was
> living in Ffx County.
>
> Anywho, I do check here occasionally and see y'all
> are still suffering from your bowels. Let me just
> share something:
>
> I am officially Lactose intolerant. Cheese,
> yogurt, ice cream, milk.....WAAAH!! Had combo of
> all those and paid for it dearly for 4 days.
>
> I can now literally say, "I feel your pain."
>
> Hang in there, guys!!

Nice of you. How have your bowels been? We appreciate your support a lot!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 15, 2016 09:10AM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just dropped a normal poop! That makes two
> mornings in a row. I wonder if the stress from my
> job was affecting my bowels? They have been
> getting better since I retired.
> How are you guys doing?


You might be on to something Dive. Yet be forewarned age can cause further bowel deterioration. But being clear of an asshole boss and subhuman janitor can help.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: May 15, 2016 11:17AM

My Lanos is a mess.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 15, 2016 12:37PM

Hi stretched out starfish, don't say a word
I'm very sorry about that horse sized turd.

My bowels just got their ass kicked. A full sweating tooth grinding toe stretching experience, that left even my midwives complaining.

It's a never ending cycle. Jalopy sized dumps or being plundered by the anal doc. Amazed I don't whistle while walking.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Supporter ()
Date: May 15, 2016 03:23PM

Supporter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am the ORIGINAL Supporter; someone posted under
> my name a while back with some mean words. I'm now
> out of No Virginia but my first 50 years I was
> living in Ffx County.
>
> Anywho, I do check here occasionally and see y'all
> are still suffering from your bowels. Let me just
> share something:
>
> I am officially Lactose intolerant. Cheese,
> yogurt, ice cream, milk.....WAAAH!! Had combo of
> all those and paid for it dearly for 4 days.
>
> I can now literally say, "I feel your pain."
>
> Hang in there, guys!!

Scammer as I am the original supporter. It's unreal the depths, to what people will do to troll. You win an Internet for sounding like me.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Underwear ()
Date: May 15, 2016 04:10PM

Fuck you BEH! Fat man playing in shit shit on walls fuck you!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 15, 2016 07:05PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Just dropped a normal poop! That makes two
> > mornings in a row. I wonder if the stress from
> my
> > job was affecting my bowels? They have been
> > getting better since I retired.
> > How are you guys doing?
>
>
> You might be on to something Dive. Yet be
> forewarned age can cause further bowel
> deterioration. But being clear of an asshole boss
> and subhuman janitor can help.

If the good Lord blesses me with another #4 tomorrow I might consider going back to church. Last time I went to church for anything other than a wedding or funeral was 1990.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: You guys are the best ()
Date: May 16, 2016 09:27AM

Hi Scat-lovers. Brown Starfish, Groan Throne, bowel damage - all so original, funny and helpful. Te-he te-he. Poop. hahahahaha

You guys are the best

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: GreedyStarfish ()
Date: May 16, 2016 09:51AM

My starfish is greedy and does not want to give up is cache of brown when Im done on the toilet. I have to dig for 4 min with TP to clean up. Why so greedy - it has to let go sometime?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 16, 2016 10:08AM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > dive bomber Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Just dropped a normal poop! That makes two
> > > mornings in a row. I wonder if the stress
> from
> > my
> > > job was affecting my bowels? They have been
> > > getting better since I retired.
> > > How are you guys doing?
> >
> >
> > You might be on to something Dive. Yet be
> > forewarned age can cause further bowel
> > deterioration. But being clear of an asshole
> boss
> > and subhuman janitor can help.
>
> If the good Lord blesses me with another #4
> tomorrow I might consider going back to church.
> Last time I went to church for anything other than
> a wedding or funeral was 1990.


Dive I wish you well, because despite having pews, churches can be harsh and judgemental to the bowel trodden. For instance my board of deacons shot down my bowel awareness night in record time.

How are your bowels?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 16, 2016 10:09AM

GreedyStarfish Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My starfish is greedy and does not want to give up
> is cache of brown when Im done on the toilet. I
> have to dig for 4 min with TP to clean up. Why so
> greedy - it has to let go sometime?


Those are klingons and a pain in the ass.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: May 16, 2016 11:02AM

I see Popeyes is about to open. It smells really good and I like their chicken biscuits and beans with rice. Yet I know I shouldn't.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 16, 2016 04:23PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > dive bomber Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > Just dropped a normal poop! That makes two
> > > > mornings in a row. I wonder if the stress
> > from
> > > my
> > > > job was affecting my bowels? They have been
> > > > getting better since I retired.
> > > > How are you guys doing?
> > >
> > >
> > > You might be on to something Dive. Yet be
> > > forewarned age can cause further bowel
> > > deterioration. But being clear of an asshole
> > boss
> > > and subhuman janitor can help.
> >
> > If the good Lord blesses me with another #4
> > tomorrow I might consider going back to church.
> > Last time I went to church for anything other
> than
> > a wedding or funeral was 1990.
>
>
> Dive I wish you well, because despite having pews,
> churches can be harsh and judgemental to the bowel
> trodden. For instance my board of deacons shot
> down my bowel awareness night in record time.
>
> How are your bowels?


A number 5 was delivered this morning about 10am. Not as good as the last couple days but still better than usual, thanks for asking Brown.

We are going to look at houses for sale in Harrisonburg this weekend so I will have to be careful about what I eat, don't want to have a ass explosion in the realtor's car or have to use some random throne in a home that is being offered for sale.

How are your bowels today Brown?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Original Supporter ()
Date: May 16, 2016 11:48PM

Supporter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Supporter Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I am the ORIGINAL Supporter; someone posted
> under
> > my name a while back with some mean words. I'm
> now
> > out of No Virginia but my first 50 years I was
> > living in Ffx County.
> >
> > Anywho, I do check here occasionally and see
> y'all
> > are still suffering from your bowels. Let me
> just
> > share something:
> >
> > I am officially Lactose intolerant. Cheese,
> > yogurt, ice cream, milk.....WAAAH!! Had combo
> of
> > all those and paid for it dearly for 4 days.
> >
> > I can now literally say, "I feel your pain."
> >
> > Hang in there, guys!!
>
> Scammer as I am the original supporter. It's
> unreal the depths, to what people will do to
> troll. You win an Internet for sounding like me.

I am NOT going to get in a match with you, as you seem to want to instigate something. Sure is funny you only come out after I've posted. So, do as you please. I think ones on here know me well enough to know the difference between my posts and yours. I have never spouted hate (except to Anon Doc but he deserves it) as you do, so ... have a nice day and go shit a brick.

"Will the real slim shady please stand up ... please stand up ..." STANDING

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: taupe shallot ()
Date: May 17, 2016 08:23AM

poop, groan throne, starfish, train-sized movement, midwivesforyoupoopbecauseitslikechildbirth

tee hee tee hee

Great stuff you all keep it up! Very clever. poop

i farted

lol tee hee

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 17, 2016 08:50AM

Goulash. Film at 11.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 1999Girl ()
Date: May 17, 2016 11:38AM

I like to keep clean and fresh and to feel attractive for my own sake, and since last fall I've been having this one main problem: after passing a bowel movement, I can't seem to get clean! I wipe very thoroughly and gently with quality toilet paper, until there appears to be no fecal residue left, and then a little while later I will just have a feeling like I'm not clean. I will check in the bathroom and sure enough, there's brown streaks on the paper! I've been trying everything. I use wet wipes, but they don't help much. Sometimes I wash with a squirt bottle, directly onto the anus, and wipe more and more until I seem clean. This sometimes works, but not right after the bm. If I wash right after, even in the shower, later on I'll feel something and then check and there's even a smell still lingering.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: May 17, 2016 12:46PM

1999 girl, don't worry, you're perfectly normal. Maybe just go light on the onions and garlic, strong spices and Cruciferous vegetables, and you'll be fine.

The rectum, being what and where it is, will have a bit of a smell, yes. No ones Schphinkter smells like a rose 24/7.

I admire your dedication to Ano-Recto cleanliness.

Your user names strikes a chord with me as well. 1999 is the last time I had a decent bowel movement.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 17, 2016 04:33PM

I would like to thank God and Brown Onion for the latest #4 #2 that came out of my ass at 9:07 this morning. I have been eating healthy and eliminated stress by quitting my dead end job. If this keeps up I am going to treat myself to Outback this time next week.
I wish to extend good brown karma to all the BiB's here at FYBDW.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 17, 2016 06:43PM

The Chevy Cavalier or the old Hyundai Excel, not sure which model best reflects my bowels. They are in poor condition, unreliable, and only good for prolonged misery.

Dive glad to hear your bowels churned well today,

And like BEH, I'd like to extend a brown welcome to 1999 girl.

We appreciate your joining our brown family, and you aren't alone. In fact, I can't speak for others, but I'm curious about learning more about you and your bowels.

In lieu of Princes recent demise, his bowels aren't partying like it's 1999 anymore.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dave Johns ()
Date: May 17, 2016 07:19PM

I shouldn't have eaten raw oysters at Hooters. Nice boobs but going to hurt. Raw fish isn't bowel friendly.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Outlaw Bowels ()
Date: May 18, 2016 01:34AM

1999Girl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I like to keep clean and fresh and to feel
> attractive for my own sake, and since last fall
> I've been having this one main problem: after
> passing a bowel movement, I can't seem to get
> clean! I wipe very thoroughly and gently with
> quality toilet paper, until there appears to be no
> fecal residue left, and then a little while later
> I will just have a feeling like I'm not clean. I
> will check in the bathroom and sure enough,
> there's brown streaks on the paper! I've been
> trying everything. I use wet wipes, but they don't
> help much. Sometimes I wash with a squirt bottle,
> directly onto the anus, and wipe more and more
> until I seem clean. This sometimes works, but not
> right after the bm. If I wash right after, even in
> the shower, later on I'll feel something and then
> check and there's even a smell still lingering.

It is probably coming from your vagina.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 18, 2016 06:48AM

Outlaw Bowels Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 1999Girl Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I like to keep clean and fresh and to feel
> > attractive for my own sake, and since last fall
> > I've been having this one main problem: after
> > passing a bowel movement, I can't seem to get
> > clean! I wipe very thoroughly and gently with
> > quality toilet paper, until there appears to be
> no
> > fecal residue left, and then a little while
> later
> > I will just have a feeling like I'm not clean.
> I
> > will check in the bathroom and sure enough,
> > there's brown streaks on the paper! I've been
> > trying everything. I use wet wipes, but they
> don't
> > help much. Sometimes I wash with a squirt
> bottle,
> > directly onto the anus, and wipe more and more
> > until I seem clean. This sometimes works, but
> not
> > right after the bm. If I wash right after, even
> in
> > the shower, later on I'll feel something and
> then
> > check and there's even a smell still lingering.
>
> It is probably coming from your vagina.


I shouldn't respond to your disparaging remarks, but my conscience and bowels, will not let this go unanswered.

This spot on the underground is supposed to be brown friendly, and will not be divided by those with superior bowels.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: RWF ()
Date: May 18, 2016 07:11AM

Just loosed a movement the size of a Combine Harvester - had I been under medical care an episiotomy would have been performed.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Outlaw Bowels ()
Date: May 18, 2016 10:08AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Outlaw Bowels Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > 1999Girl Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > I like to keep clean and fresh and to feel
> > > attractive for my own sake, and since last
> fall
> > > I've been having this one main problem: after
> > > passing a bowel movement, I can't seem to get
> > > clean! I wipe very thoroughly and gently with
> > > quality toilet paper, until there appears to
> be
> > no
> > > fecal residue left, and then a little while
> > later
> > > I will just have a feeling like I'm not
> clean.
> > I
> > > will check in the bathroom and sure enough,
> > > there's brown streaks on the paper! I've been
> > > trying everything. I use wet wipes, but they
> > don't
> > > help much. Sometimes I wash with a squirt
> > bottle,
> > > directly onto the anus, and wipe more and
> more
> > > until I seem clean. This sometimes works, but
> > not
> > > right after the bm. If I wash right after,
> even
> > in
> > > the shower, later on I'll feel something and
> > then
> > > check and there's even a smell still
> lingering.
> >
> > It is probably coming from your vagina.
>
>
> I shouldn't respond to your disparaging remarks,
> but my conscience and bowels, will not let this go
> unanswered.
>
> This spot on the underground is supposed to be
> brown friendly, and will not be divided by those
> with superior bowels.

Shut up, you phony twat.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 18, 2016 11:26AM

Oh it's either Gerry or Anon Dick behind the diabolical brown curtain starting shit as usual.

You have the entire underground, so please feel free to write your opinions there.

Assholes and opinions, everyone has them.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: May 18, 2016 01:29PM

I am sorry for the nonsense of haters. Glad to be a bowel ally.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: May 18, 2016 02:08PM

Burger King caused problems. There French frys burgers taste nice but make mess in undergarments. Not in car but not good thing to brag about. Just wish this would stop.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Underwear ()
Date: May 18, 2016 02:42PM

BEH=butt eating hick. Available for fetish fun at weddings or other special events!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: May 18, 2016 02:48PM

Black Underwear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH=butt eating hick. Available for fetish fun at
> weddings or other special events!

A special event with your Moms?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 18, 2016 04:47PM

My bowels are on hold right now, nothing yet today. Looks like the movers are coming next week. I have taken thousands of dumps in this house over the last 17 years. All good things must come to an end. I will feel like the old guy "Brooks" in the Shawshank redemption felt when they forced him out of prison after 50 years when I leave my home for the last time.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 18, 2016 06:10PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My bowels are on hold right now, nothing yet
> today. Looks like the movers are coming next week.
> I have taken thousands of dumps in this house over
> the last 17 years. All good things must come to an
> end. I will feel like the old guy "Brooks" in the
> Shawshank redemption felt when they forced him out
> of prison after 50 years when I leave my home for
> the last time.


Tis a sentimental time dive. A move can bring back memories, good or bad. Great conversations, that time your team won the pennant, or the night you gave birth to a brown stinky object seared in your psyche.

I wish you and your bowels well. It seems we are both in a holding position, and I hope you also make it through this crap.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 18, 2016 07:54PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My bowels are on hold right now, nothing yet
> > today. Looks like the movers are coming next
> week.
> > I have taken thousands of dumps in this house
> over
> > the last 17 years. All good things must come to
> an
> > end. I will feel like the old guy "Brooks" in
> the
> > Shawshank redemption felt when they forced him
> out
> > of prison after 50 years when I leave my home
> for
> > the last time.
>
>
> Tis a sentimental time dive. A move can bring back
> memories, good or bad. Great conversations, that
> time your team won the pennant, or the night you
> gave birth to a brown stinky object seared in your
> psyche.
>
> I wish you and your bowels well. It seems we are
> both in a holding position, and I hope you also
> make it through this crap.


Thanks Brown, you have lifted my spirits again!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mike O'Meara Show Fan ()
Date: May 18, 2016 10:31PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My bowels are on hold right now, nothing yet
> > today. Looks like the movers are coming next
> week.
> > I have taken thousands of dumps in this house
> over
> > the last 17 years. All good things must come to
> an
> > end. I will feel like the old guy "Brooks" in
> the
> > Shawshank redemption felt when they forced him
> out
> > of prison after 50 years when I leave my home
> for
> > the last time.
>
>
> Tis a sentimental time dive. A move can bring back
> memories, good or bad. Great conversations, that
> time your team won the pennant, or the night you
> gave birth to a brown stinky object seared in your
> psyche.
>
> I wish you and your bowels well. It seems we are
> both in a holding position, and I hope you also
> make it through this crap.

Shut up Gerrymanderer. Stick with your other shitty trolls.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5 am guy ()
Date: May 19, 2016 02:29AM

Hi all, 5am guy checking in early tonight.
5am guy was just talking to a guy who works the graveyard shift at 7-11, he is from India. He says Americans are disgusting for wiping their asses with toilet paper. In India they wash their asses with their left hands. 5am guy is not sure he could take a Indian style dump. This vid shows how its done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUaCdkrRFrY

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 19, 2016 07:16AM

Dive you are quite welcome.

And Mr 5 am great video. Interesting shit especially the term lowering cable.

My sister Matilda is lowering cable and it's a bad one.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: keep up the great work! ()
Date: May 19, 2016 08:46AM

Groan Throne, Starfish, Train-sized movement. lol it never gets old. YOu guys are very clever please keep up the great work!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: May 19, 2016 11:38AM

keep up the great work! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Groan Throne, Starfish, Train-sized movement. lol
> it never gets old. YOu guys are very clever
> please keep up the great work!

User name keep up the great work,

Write ups such as yours, continue to show a need for a psychiatrist prior to visiting a GI.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: May 19, 2016 12:30PM

I am going to seek employment with more bathrooms. One for seven staff isn't enough. Cleaning up plus covering up the scent with Febreze is only going to last awhile before my secret is discovered.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Underwear ()
Date: May 19, 2016 12:47PM

Scat party at BEHs house! Be sure to Bring Your Own Shit! Play Pin the Tail on Feces with BEH Brown Onion and other scat lovers! Fuck you!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 19, 2016 01:06PM

My sister Matilda and I went to the Giant grocery store. She got various foods and castor oil, but I think I know why restrooms are in the back.

People shopping for food don't want to think of rectum stretching belt biting times on the groan throne. Certain aromas can be problematic.

It's next to the Pharmacy Counter, so in case of a bowel emergency, someone familiar with first aid is close.

Yet I don't like the term "restroom."

Why not just call it the piss hole, shit hole,or torture chamber?

Who rests in there? Whether on the groan throne with an overwhelmed star fish, or even hearing the cries from the stall next to you,it defies logic such spaces of scary shit can have a pleasant name?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: May 19, 2016 02:18PM

California Pizza Kitchen. It's so good but so bad. I wish I could stop this.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 19, 2016 02:56PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive you are quite welcome.
>
> And Mr 5 am great video. Interesting shit
> especially the term lowering cable.
>
> My sister Matilda is lowering cable and it's a bad
> one.

Lowering cable, lol.
I have heard it called "hanging rope"

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 19, 2016 03:19PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dive you are quite welcome.
> >
> > And Mr 5 am great video. Interesting shit
> > especially the term lowering cable.
> >
> > My sister Matilda is lowering cable and it's a
> bad
> > one.
>
> Lowering cable, lol.
> I have heard it called "hanging rope"



That's another interesting lesson in Bowel Studies dive. Starting to wonder if that's an American expression for the cable comment.

How are your bowels? I hope no goulash.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 19, 2016 04:53PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Dive you are quite welcome.
> > >
> > > And Mr 5 am great video. Interesting shit
> > > especially the term lowering cable.
> > >
> > > My sister Matilda is lowering cable and it's
> a
> > bad
> > > one.
> >
> > Lowering cable, lol.
> > I have heard it called "hanging rope"
>
>
>
> That's another interesting lesson in Bowel Studies
> dive. Starting to wonder if that's an American
> expression for the cable comment.
>
> How are your bowels? I hope no goulash.


I am backed up brown. Hoping for a dump tonight, tomorrow we are going to Harrisonburg to look at houses and poor Mrs dive will be trapped in a hotel room with me and my bowels for two nights. I tried to get her to book two rooms but she does not want to spend the money. Looks like lots of rain this weekend too.
How are you doing brown?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Greek island of Karpathos ()
Date: May 19, 2016 06:22PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > dive bomber Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Brown Onion Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > Dive you are quite welcome.
> > > >
> > > > And Mr 5 am great video. Interesting shit
> > > > especially the term lowering cable.
> > > >
> > > > My sister Matilda is lowering cable and
> it's
> > a
> > > bad
> > > > one.
> > >
> > > Lowering cable, lol.
> > > I have heard it called "hanging rope"
> >
> >
> >
> > That's another interesting lesson in Bowel
> Studies
> > dive. Starting to wonder if that's an American
> > expression for the cable comment.
> >
> > How are your bowels? I hope no goulash.
>
>
> I am backed up brown. Hoping for a dump tonight,
> tomorrow we are going to Harrisonburg to look at
> houses and poor Mrs dive will be trapped in a
> hotel room with me and my bowels for two nights. I
> tried to get her to book two rooms but she does
> not want to spend the money. Looks like lots of
> rain this weekend too.
> How are you doing brown?


bring a Greek island of Karpathos or a box of matches idiot.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 19, 2016 08:22PM

Dive good luck on that. Mrs Dive is a keeper.

This is going to be a screamer. Midwives!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: bowel fraud informant ()
Date: May 19, 2016 08:31PM

FYI Brown Onion is poster Gerrymanderer2, total fake.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 20, 2016 06:12AM

bowel fraud informant Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> FYI Brown Onion is poster Gerrymanderer2, total
> fake.


Um no. My bowels are made in America.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: [b]Assonance[/b] ()
Date: May 20, 2016 08:01AM

'Groan Throne' is funny because a toilet is like a chair and a chair is like a throne and sometimes when having a movement you can make a noise, even groan. So by combining the words you not only get a humorous metaphor but also, wait for it, Assonance (google it)

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 20, 2016 10:16AM

Assonance Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 'Groan Throne' is funny because a toilet is like a
> chair and a chair is like a throne and sometimes
> when having a movement you can make a noise, even
> groan. So by combining the words you not only get
> a humorous metaphor but also, wait for it,
> Assonance (google it)


To most yes a groan throne porcelain God, commode, toilet can be funny.


Unfortunately for those of us with 33 feet of bad piping, pain and misery.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dave Johns ()
Date: May 20, 2016 01:05PM

Cheese=big dumps.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: try some exercise ()
Date: May 20, 2016 01:26PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Assonance Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > 'Groan Throne' is funny because a toilet is like
> a
> > chair and a chair is like a throne and
> sometimes
> > when having a movement you can make a noise,
> even
> > groan. So by combining the words you not only
> get
> > a humorous metaphor but also, wait for it,
> > Assonance (google it)
>
>
> To most yes a groan throne porcelain God, commode,
> toilet can be funny.
>
>
> Unfortunately for those of us with 33 feet of bad
> piping, pain and misery.

limit fats and processed foods, drink lots of water, and try some exercise you fat fuck!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: May 20, 2016 03:06PM

Warm weather is diarrhea time. What a stinky mess!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: May 20, 2016 04:06PM

I have the same problem. As soon as spring and summer come around more of this.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: May 20, 2016 06:02PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive good luck on that. Mrs Dive is a keeper.
>
> This is going to be a screamer. Midwives!

How are you doing now Brown?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: May 20, 2016 07:49PM

Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have the same problem. As soon as spring and
> summer come around more of this.


All the more reason to see a board certified GI Gordon. Once a year would be an improvement.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: May 21, 2016 06:51AM

Gordo and splatter sorry about those messy escapades, and once again anon dick shows his true colors. Since he's interested in everyone's bowels I wonder how his are. Asshole.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Jhonny Bravo ()
Date: May 21, 2016 07:32AM

It's a bowelache

by, Jhonny Bravo


It's a bowelache
Nothing but a bowelache
Hits you when it's too late
You better hope your pants are down

It's a stool's game
Nothing but a stools game
Shitting out a brown rain
Feeling like a clown

It's a bowelache
Nothing but a bowelache
You think your gonna drop a brown snake
Then your starfish lets you down

It ain't right is what you swear
After you softly say a prayer
It ain't good to come undone
Unless your depends are on you

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