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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 20, 2016 05:55PM
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > It's embarrassing have to call the fire
> department
> > for my sister.
> >
> > They were able to get her off the groan throne,
> > but the snickers and clothes pins on rescue
> > personnel was deragatory.
>
>
> That is uncalled for Brown. We all pay county
> taxes for years and years to pay our county
> employees salaries along with a 20 year retirement
> plan for public safety personnel. They should be
> kissing your ass when they respond to a service
> call.
> I think Mr Bravo was attempting to emulate this
> Beastie boys song,
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svTuSRiFPoc
Interesting video. That was years ago, it now rings a bell, as I believe at that point my bowels betrayal had not completely affected me.
Yes this is truly a shame. You are correct as our asses pay their asses.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > It's embarrassing have to call the fire
> department
> > for my sister.
> >
> > They were able to get her off the groan throne,
> > but the snickers and clothes pins on rescue
> > personnel was deragatory.
>
>
> That is uncalled for Brown. We all pay county
> taxes for years and years to pay our county
> employees salaries along with a 20 year retirement
> plan for public safety personnel. They should be
> kissing your ass when they respond to a service
> call.
> I think Mr Bravo was attempting to emulate this
> Beastie boys song,
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svTuSRiFPoc
Interesting video. That was years ago, it now rings a bell, as I believe at that point my bowels betrayal had not completely affected me.
Yes this is truly a shame. You are correct as our asses pay their asses.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
bongwood
()
Date: March 20, 2016 08:08PM
Weed helps the bowels lots.
Smoke it every day for a couple months and it helps.
Smoke it every day for a couple months and it helps.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 20, 2016 08:39PM
bongwood Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Weed helps the bowels lots.
>
> Smoke it every day for a couple months and it
> helps.
Okay how does it do so, because when I grew up, Marijuana was considered very dangerous. Yet at this point with a rectal mirror, I'm interested in learning more.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Weed helps the bowels lots.
>
> Smoke it every day for a couple months and it
> helps.
Okay how does it do so, because when I grew up, Marijuana was considered very dangerous. Yet at this point with a rectal mirror, I'm interested in learning more.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 21, 2016 06:42AM
Man I had a bun in the oven all night. I just dropped it in the pool however. Looks like today will be one of the good ones!
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 21, 2016 07:04AM
Way to go Dive! Everyone a round of applause, after you wash your hands of course!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Splatter
()
Date: March 21, 2016 01:50PM
I really hate the big ones. Is there amyway to make them smaller?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Outlaw Bowels
()
Date: March 21, 2016 03:09PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> bongwood Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Weed helps the bowels lots.
> >
> > Smoke it every day for a couple months and it
> > helps.
>
>
> Okay how does it do so, because when I grew up,
> Marijuana was considered very dangerous. Yet at
> this point with a rectal mirror, I'm interested
> in learning more.
How about you shove that mirror up your ass and then reflect on it some more, you whiny pink-frosted pusscake.
-------------------------------------------------------
> bongwood Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Weed helps the bowels lots.
> >
> > Smoke it every day for a couple months and it
> > helps.
>
>
> Okay how does it do so, because when I grew up,
> Marijuana was considered very dangerous. Yet at
> this point with a rectal mirror, I'm interested
> in learning more.
How about you shove that mirror up your ass and then reflect on it some more, you whiny pink-frosted pusscake.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 21, 2016 04:11PM
Outlaw Bowels Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > bongwood Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Weed helps the bowels lots.
> > >
> > > Smoke it every day for a couple months and it
> > > helps.
> >
> >
> > Okay how does it do so, because when I grew up,
> > Marijuana was considered very dangerous. Yet
> at
> > this point with a rectal mirror, I'm
> interested
> > in learning more.
>
> How about you shove that mirror up your ass and
> then reflect on it some more, you whiny
> pink-frosted pusscake.
I throw shit on you.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > bongwood Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Weed helps the bowels lots.
> > >
> > > Smoke it every day for a couple months and it
> > > helps.
> >
> >
> > Okay how does it do so, because when I grew up,
> > Marijuana was considered very dangerous. Yet
> at
> > this point with a rectal mirror, I'm
> interested
> > in learning more.
>
> How about you shove that mirror up your ass and
> then reflect on it some more, you whiny
> pink-frosted pusscake.
I throw shit on you.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: March 21, 2016 06:24PM
My coworkers again have started abusing me.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 21, 2016 07:45PM
Today I lived a day like people with efficient digestive systems get to experience nearly every day. It was wonderful.
It's hard to explain to someone with high functioning bowels that I would rather have a week of good bowel movements than a week at some luxury resort or perhaps a cruise-ship. People with roto rooter like digestive systems are living in true luxury.
It's hard to explain to someone with high functioning bowels that I would rather have a week of good bowel movements than a week at some luxury resort or perhaps a cruise-ship. People with roto rooter like digestive systems are living in true luxury.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 21, 2016 11:59PM
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Today I lived a day like people with efficient
> digestive systems get to experience nearly every
> day. It was wonderful.
>
> It's hard to explain to someone with high
> functioning bowels that I would rather have a week
> of good bowel movements than a week at some luxury
> resort or perhaps a cruise-ship. People with roto
> rooter like digestive systems are living in true
> luxury.
Glad to hear dive. I wish you and your bowels well. Tis a shame those with superior bowels, don't seem to appreciate the best of what they have.
Instead they constantly rub it in our faces.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Today I lived a day like people with efficient
> digestive systems get to experience nearly every
> day. It was wonderful.
>
> It's hard to explain to someone with high
> functioning bowels that I would rather have a week
> of good bowel movements than a week at some luxury
> resort or perhaps a cruise-ship. People with roto
> rooter like digestive systems are living in true
> luxury.
Glad to hear dive. I wish you and your bowels well. Tis a shame those with superior bowels, don't seem to appreciate the best of what they have.
Instead they constantly rub it in our faces.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 22, 2016 12:00AM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My coworkers again have started abusing me.
Gordo what's going on? I am frustrated that people don't judge you for your character, but rather for your bowels.
-------------------------------------------------------
> My coworkers again have started abusing me.
Gordo what's going on? I am frustrated that people don't judge you for your character, but rather for your bowels.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5 am guy
()
Date: March 22, 2016 04:55AM
Hello friends! 5am guy has finally completed the groan throne challenge at 2:07 am today! It turns out that the last groan throne was in the boiler room in the basement of the building. This groan throne was not clean like the others, it was surrounded by paint cans, garden tools and snow shovels. There was a smell of paint and weed killer in the room.
5am guy had to unscrew a coaxial cable from the back of the security monitoring equipment so 5am guy could sneak down into the rear parking lot and jimmy a door lock. 5am guys first two attempts at breaking in were unsuccessful. 5am guy found it difficult to concentrate on jimmying a lock while simultaneously holding back a big load of butt sausage.
5am guy did a little victory dance in the basement after the last throne had been soiled.
5am guy had to unscrew a coaxial cable from the back of the security monitoring equipment so 5am guy could sneak down into the rear parking lot and jimmy a door lock. 5am guys first two attempts at breaking in were unsuccessful. 5am guy found it difficult to concentrate on jimmying a lock while simultaneously holding back a big load of butt sausage.
5am guy did a little victory dance in the basement after the last throne had been soiled.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 22, 2016 08:08AM
5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello friends! 5am guy has finally completed the
> groan throne challenge at 2:07 am today! It turns
> out that the last groan throne was in the boiler
> room in the basement of the building. This groan
> throne was not clean like the others, it was
> surrounded by paint cans, garden tools and snow
> shovels. There was a smell of paint and weed
> killer in the room.
> 5am guy had to unscrew a coaxial cable from the
> back of the security monitoring equipment so 5am
> guy could sneak down into the rear parking lot and
> jimmy a door lock. 5am guys first two attempts at
> breaking in were unsuccessful. 5am guy found it
> difficult to concentrate on jimmying a lock while
> simultaneously holding back a big load of butt
> sausage.
> 5am guy did a little victory dance in the basement
> after the last throne had been soiled.
You are the man 5 am. I think a plaque with exemplary service is in order. Hopefully someone younger than I am, can find a picture and place it up here, because this is a major accomplishment. Congrats!
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello friends! 5am guy has finally completed the
> groan throne challenge at 2:07 am today! It turns
> out that the last groan throne was in the boiler
> room in the basement of the building. This groan
> throne was not clean like the others, it was
> surrounded by paint cans, garden tools and snow
> shovels. There was a smell of paint and weed
> killer in the room.
> 5am guy had to unscrew a coaxial cable from the
> back of the security monitoring equipment so 5am
> guy could sneak down into the rear parking lot and
> jimmy a door lock. 5am guys first two attempts at
> breaking in were unsuccessful. 5am guy found it
> difficult to concentrate on jimmying a lock while
> simultaneously holding back a big load of butt
> sausage.
> 5am guy did a little victory dance in the basement
> after the last throne had been soiled.
You are the man 5 am. I think a plaque with exemplary service is in order. Hopefully someone younger than I am, can find a picture and place it up here, because this is a major accomplishment. Congrats!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 22, 2016 09:44AM
I think what happened in Brussels was awful, but I have a feeling my groan throne will be investigated due to heightened security. My poor bowels, or what's left of them......
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Diced Onion
()
Date: March 22, 2016 11:12AM
Tippys. Wtf was I thinking
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: March 22, 2016 01:36PM
Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tippys. Wtf was I thinking
Obviously you were deprived of oxygen at some point.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tippys. Wtf was I thinking
Obviously you were deprived of oxygen at some point.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 22, 2016 01:47PM
Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Diced Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Tippys. Wtf was I thinking
>
>
> Obviously you were deprived of oxygen at some
> point.
You know how that feels Doc, with your nose to anus life's work.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Diced Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Tippys. Wtf was I thinking
>
>
> Obviously you were deprived of oxygen at some
> point.
You know how that feels Doc, with your nose to anus life's work.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: March 22, 2016 03:36PM
Car cleaning is lots of money. $12 USD hour good salary but need cheaper car seat cleaner.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 22, 2016 04:24PM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Car cleaning is lots of money. $12 USD hour good
> salary but need cheaper car seat cleaner.
Gordo I am sorry that I don't know any car cleaners off hand, but my guess is some local wetbacks could be hired for very little, so they can their shit stained money to their villages in the 3rd world.
I have a wretched feeling about what's brewing. This one is going to be a Nagasaki sized dump, one with a number of shapes that's sure to do damage. Our bowels may betray us, but united we stand, or sit collectively on our groan thrones.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Car cleaning is lots of money. $12 USD hour good
> salary but need cheaper car seat cleaner.
Gordo I am sorry that I don't know any car cleaners off hand, but my guess is some local wetbacks could be hired for very little, so they can their shit stained money to their villages in the 3rd world.
I have a wretched feeling about what's brewing. This one is going to be a Nagasaki sized dump, one with a number of shapes that's sure to do damage. Our bowels may betray us, but united we stand, or sit collectively on our groan thrones.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 22, 2016 07:56PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think what happened in Brussels was awful, but I
> have a feeling my groan throne will be
> investigated due to heightened security. My poor
> bowels, or what's left of them......
You know Brown the state of the world today leaves old guys like us wondering wtf?
Sadly, I spend more time worrying about my next load dropping than anything else. I know our country and our world have major issues but it takes everything I have just to keep a job and try to control my ass.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think what happened in Brussels was awful, but I
> have a feeling my groan throne will be
> investigated due to heightened security. My poor
> bowels, or what's left of them......
You know Brown the state of the world today leaves old guys like us wondering wtf?
Sadly, I spend more time worrying about my next load dropping than anything else. I know our country and our world have major issues but it takes everything I have just to keep a job and try to control my ass.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 23, 2016 11:38AM
You aren't kidding dive. Just control or a good set of bowels would be a big step.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: March 23, 2016 01:21PM
The poopy pants signs on my desk. Some people abuse me. It's tiring.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Splatter cc
()
Date: March 23, 2016 01:44PM
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 23, 2016 01:46PM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The poopy pants signs on my desk. Some people
> abuse me. It's tiring.
People can be cruel Gordo. I still have a plunger under my desk that someone left there a few months ago. Prior to that event someone left a note on my desk suggesting that I use the mens room on another floor of the building that is largly vacant and for some reason has a more powerful exaust fan.
-------------------------------------------------------
> The poopy pants signs on my desk. Some people
> abuse me. It's tiring.
People can be cruel Gordo. I still have a plunger under my desk that someone left there a few months ago. Prior to that event someone left a note on my desk suggesting that I use the mens room on another floor of the building that is largly vacant and for some reason has a more powerful exaust fan.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: March 23, 2016 04:28PM
Afternoon BiBs! Got lucky with my morning evacuation today. TP ran out with my last wipe. Hope my good luck extends to the sufferers here.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 23, 2016 06:21PM
I agree with Dive Gordo. Keep your head up and despite frequent trips to the groan throne, you are an inspiration to your brothers in bowels. And to others, the silent majority who do in fact at least empathize with us. At least to a degree, but we do need more bowel buddies.
You are very lucky deadly. Paper towels really hurt.
You are very lucky deadly. Paper towels really hurt.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 23, 2016 06:55PM
I think our friend Gordo, it's not to be mean to you buddy, are explosively terrible like our dot head friend Gerrymanderer2.
We all know his tongue is deep up Gerry, Obamas, and other patently weak savages asses.
I think I'll be dropping a rather large Gerrymanderer2 in the pool tonight. There will be grunting, sweating, and toe nails ultimately in the floor tile.
Yet it will be a mission fulfilled as I drop this shit and flush it.
We all know his tongue is deep up Gerry, Obamas, and other patently weak savages asses.
I think I'll be dropping a rather large Gerrymanderer2 in the pool tonight. There will be grunting, sweating, and toe nails ultimately in the floor tile.
Yet it will be a mission fulfilled as I drop this shit and flush it.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 24, 2016 04:38AM
Just unloaded Gerry with the help of midwives.
A fetid nasty experience but my gift to humanity.
A fetid nasty experience but my gift to humanity.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5 am guy
()
Date: March 24, 2016 05:00AM
5 am guy does not really have bowel problems very often. 5 am guy enjoys his constitutionals in the wee hours of the morning when the majority of the country is sleeping.
Today however is a different story. 5am guy had a birthday recently and was given a Dominos gift card so last night on his way to work 5 am guy picked up a pan crust Philly steak and cheese medium sized pizza. The pizza smelled so good in the truck that 5 am guy ate two slices and then had more later for lunch. Now 5 am guys gut is bloated and gassy. 5 am guy feels weak and sickly. 5 am guy is going out to get some Alka-Seltzer.
Just look at this bad boy,
Attachments:
Today however is a different story. 5am guy had a birthday recently and was given a Dominos gift card so last night on his way to work 5 am guy picked up a pan crust Philly steak and cheese medium sized pizza. The pizza smelled so good in the truck that 5 am guy ate two slices and then had more later for lunch. Now 5 am guys gut is bloated and gassy. 5 am guy feels weak and sickly. 5 am guy is going out to get some Alka-Seltzer.
Just look at this bad boy,
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 24, 2016 07:40AM
5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5 am guy does not really have bowel problems very
> often. 5 am guy enjoys his constitutionals in the
> wee hours of the morning when the majority of the
> country is sleeping.
> Today however is a different story. 5am guy had a
> birthday recently and was given a Dominos gift
> card so last night on his way to work 5 am guy
> picked up a pan crust Philly steak and cheese
> medium sized pizza. The pizza smelled so good in
> the truck that 5 am guy ate two slices and then
> had more later for lunch. Now 5 am guys gut is
> bloated and gassy. 5 am guy feels weak and sickly.
> 5 am guy is going out to get some Alka-Seltzer.
>
> Just look at this bad boy,
Oh my goodness 5, that's suburban warfare on your bowels. I hope your bowels feel better, and that your rectum survives this dangerous weapon.
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5 am guy does not really have bowel problems very
> often. 5 am guy enjoys his constitutionals in the
> wee hours of the morning when the majority of the
> country is sleeping.
> Today however is a different story. 5am guy had a
> birthday recently and was given a Dominos gift
> card so last night on his way to work 5 am guy
> picked up a pan crust Philly steak and cheese
> medium sized pizza. The pizza smelled so good in
> the truck that 5 am guy ate two slices and then
> had more later for lunch. Now 5 am guys gut is
> bloated and gassy. 5 am guy feels weak and sickly.
> 5 am guy is going out to get some Alka-Seltzer.
>
> Just look at this bad boy,
Oh my goodness 5, that's suburban warfare on your bowels. I hope your bowels feel better, and that your rectum survives this dangerous weapon.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: March 24, 2016 10:00AM
5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5 am guy does not really have bowel problems very
> often. 5 am guy enjoys his constitutionals in the
> wee hours of the morning when the majority of the
> country is sleeping.
> Today however is a different story. 5am guy had a
> birthday recently and was given a Dominos gift
> card so last night on his way to work 5 am guy
> picked up a pan crust Philly steak and cheese
> medium sized pizza. The pizza smelled so good in
> the truck that 5 am guy ate two slices and then
> had more later for lunch. Now 5 am guys gut is
> bloated and gassy. 5 am guy feels weak and sickly.
> 5 am guy is going out to get some Alka-Seltzer.
>
> Just look at this bad boy,
Looks damn tasty, 5am! I may have to scarf one down myself.
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5 am guy does not really have bowel problems very
> often. 5 am guy enjoys his constitutionals in the
> wee hours of the morning when the majority of the
> country is sleeping.
> Today however is a different story. 5am guy had a
> birthday recently and was given a Dominos gift
> card so last night on his way to work 5 am guy
> picked up a pan crust Philly steak and cheese
> medium sized pizza. The pizza smelled so good in
> the truck that 5 am guy ate two slices and then
> had more later for lunch. Now 5 am guys gut is
> bloated and gassy. 5 am guy feels weak and sickly.
> 5 am guy is going out to get some Alka-Seltzer.
>
> Just look at this bad boy,
Looks damn tasty, 5am! I may have to scarf one down myself.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 24, 2016 01:27PM
A sales person brought crab dip and bonchon chicken into the office today. Both were so good I could not stop eating. May God have mercy on my ass.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 24, 2016 03:51PM
Deadly that looks delicious, but in a worse case scenario, could turn your rectum into that pit Jabba had in Star Wars.
Dive Bon Chon is a true bowel buster. Matilda and I were unlucky enough to have that, and the sugar fried elements stuck to our colons.
Dive Bon Chon is a true bowel buster. Matilda and I were unlucky enough to have that, and the sugar fried elements stuck to our colons.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
proudly serving
()
Date: March 24, 2016 08:02PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think our friend Gordo, it's not to be mean to
> you buddy, are explosively terrible like our dot
> head friend Gerrymanderer2.
>
> We all know his tongue is deep up Gerry, Obamas,
> and other patently weak savages asses.
>
> I think I'll be dropping a rather large
> Gerrymanderer2 in the pool tonight. There will be
> grunting, sweating, and toe nails ultimately in
> the floor tile.
>
> Yet it will be a mission fulfilled as I drop this
> shit and flush it.
You know the reality is that Gerrymanderer2 is the most intelligent and trustworthy poster on this forum.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think our friend Gordo, it's not to be mean to
> you buddy, are explosively terrible like our dot
> head friend Gerrymanderer2.
>
> We all know his tongue is deep up Gerry, Obamas,
> and other patently weak savages asses.
>
> I think I'll be dropping a rather large
> Gerrymanderer2 in the pool tonight. There will be
> grunting, sweating, and toe nails ultimately in
> the floor tile.
>
> Yet it will be a mission fulfilled as I drop this
> shit and flush it.
You know the reality is that Gerrymanderer2 is the most intelligent and trustworthy poster on this forum.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 24, 2016 08:29PM
proudly serving Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I think our friend Gordo, it's not to be mean
> to
> > you buddy, are explosively terrible like our
> dot
> > head friend Gerrymanderer2.
> >
> > We all know his tongue is deep up Gerry,
> Obamas,
> > and other patently weak savages asses.
> >
> > I think I'll be dropping a rather large
> > Gerrymanderer2 in the pool tonight. There will
> be
> > grunting, sweating, and toe nails ultimately
> in
> > the floor tile.
> >
> > Yet it will be a mission fulfilled as I drop
> this
> > shit and flush it.
>
>
> You know the reality is that Gerrymanderer2 is the
> most intelligent and trustworthy poster on this
> forum.
Considering I dropped him off in the groan throne, you've got to be shitting me, he's the least intelligent and interesting poster here.
He's definitely a pile of shit with superior bowels.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I think our friend Gordo, it's not to be mean
> to
> > you buddy, are explosively terrible like our
> dot
> > head friend Gerrymanderer2.
> >
> > We all know his tongue is deep up Gerry,
> Obamas,
> > and other patently weak savages asses.
> >
> > I think I'll be dropping a rather large
> > Gerrymanderer2 in the pool tonight. There will
> be
> > grunting, sweating, and toe nails ultimately
> in
> > the floor tile.
> >
> > Yet it will be a mission fulfilled as I drop
> this
> > shit and flush it.
>
>
> You know the reality is that Gerrymanderer2 is the
> most intelligent and trustworthy poster on this
> forum.
Considering I dropped him off in the groan throne, you've got to be shitting me, he's the least intelligent and interesting poster here.
He's definitely a pile of shit with superior bowels.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Djxjcjdn
()
Date: March 24, 2016 08:30PM
Bfd
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
like father like turd
()
Date: March 24, 2016 08:34PM
Djxjcjdn Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Bfd
Look, Its BO's daddy.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Bfd
Look, Its BO's daddy.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 24, 2016 09:17PM
like father like turd Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Djxjcjdn Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Bfd
>
>
> Look, Its BO's daddy.
Eesh is among the most respected posters here. How are your bowels? Eesh is far too young to be my son.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Djxjcjdn Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Bfd
>
>
> Look, Its BO's daddy.
Eesh is among the most respected posters here. How are your bowels? Eesh is far too young to be my son.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
clemens
()
Date: March 25, 2016 08:34AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Goulash.
You are one dumb ass skidmark licker.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Goulash.
You are one dumb ass skidmark licker.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 25, 2016 10:16AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Goulash.
Leakage.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Goulash.
Leakage.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 25, 2016 10:26AM
Don't come here with your anti-Eesh rhetoric. Eesh has shown support for our maladies, even though he himself is of normal bowel function.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 25, 2016 11:45AM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't come here with your anti-Eesh rhetoric. Eesh
> has shown support for our maladies, even though he
> himself is of normal bowel function.
I agree Eesh is a bowel buddy and much appreciated.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't come here with your anti-Eesh rhetoric. Eesh
> has shown support for our maladies, even though he
> himself is of normal bowel function.
I agree Eesh is a bowel buddy and much appreciated.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 25, 2016 08:46PM
The leakage has somehow turned to blockage. Fuck my life.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
clemens backend
()
Date: March 25, 2016 08:57PM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't come here with your anti-Eesh rhetoric. Eesh
> has shown support for our maladies, even though he
> himself is of normal bowel function.
^Eesh troll, talking about Eesh.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't come here with your anti-Eesh rhetoric. Eesh
> has shown support for our maladies, even though he
> himself is of normal bowel function.
^Eesh troll, talking about Eesh.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
medical supply
()
Date: March 26, 2016 06:14AM
This product can help.
The anus stimulator is more sanitary and effective than manual stimulation, and can be used by people with a weakened grasp. The probe is plastic, which reduces shock normally experienced from cold metal. The collar to control the depth of the probe is attached to a universal cuff that can be adjusted to any size adult hand. May be washed in hot water and chemically sterilized.
Overall length is 8¨ (20 cm). Weight is 3 oz. (143 gm). The probe is 1/2¨ (1.3 cm) diameter x 3 1/2¨ (9 cm) long.
Warranty: 12 months parts and labor.
Attachments:
The anus stimulator is more sanitary and effective than manual stimulation, and can be used by people with a weakened grasp. The probe is plastic, which reduces shock normally experienced from cold metal. The collar to control the depth of the probe is attached to a universal cuff that can be adjusted to any size adult hand. May be washed in hot water and chemically sterilized.
Overall length is 8¨ (20 cm). Weight is 3 oz. (143 gm). The probe is 1/2¨ (1.3 cm) diameter x 3 1/2¨ (9 cm) long.
Warranty: 12 months parts and labor.
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: March 26, 2016 08:33AM
medical supply Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This product can help.
>
> The anus stimulator is more sanitary and effective
> than manual stimulation, and can be used by people
> with a weakened grasp. The probe is plastic, which
> reduces shock normally experienced from cold
> metal. The collar to control the depth of the
> probe is attached to a universal cuff that can be
> adjusted to any size adult hand. May be washed in
> hot water and chemically sterilized.
>
> Overall length is 8¨ (20 cm). Weight is 3 oz.
> (143 gm). The probe is 1/2¨ (1.3 cm) diameter x 3
> 1/2¨ (9 cm) long.
>
>
> Warranty: 12 months parts and labor.
More proof that write ups, are all created by juvenile delinquents.
-------------------------------------------------------
> This product can help.
>
> The anus stimulator is more sanitary and effective
> than manual stimulation, and can be used by people
> with a weakened grasp. The probe is plastic, which
> reduces shock normally experienced from cold
> metal. The collar to control the depth of the
> probe is attached to a universal cuff that can be
> adjusted to any size adult hand. May be washed in
> hot water and chemically sterilized.
>
> Overall length is 8¨ (20 cm). Weight is 3 oz.
> (143 gm). The probe is 1/2¨ (1.3 cm) diameter x 3
> 1/2¨ (9 cm) long.
>
>
> Warranty: 12 months parts and labor.
More proof that write ups, are all created by juvenile delinquents.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 26, 2016 08:48AM
Trying to prepare my bowels for the Easter lunch at my obnoxious brothers house tomorrow. Ham, Lamb and tofu are said to be the main dish options. My dickhead brother has hired a caterer. He is too lazy to cook for 10 or 12 guests so he hires help, what a cock!
Some poor wetbacks will have to skip Easter with their families to serve my brother.
Some poor wetbacks will have to skip Easter with their families to serve my brother.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 26, 2016 10:15AM
Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother tips the wetbacks in addition to their minimal hourly wage. Definitely don't let them rape any family members.
Right now preparing to drop a large Easter basket
Right now preparing to drop a large Easter basket
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: March 26, 2016 01:00PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother tips
> the wetbacks in addition to their minimal hourly
> wage. Definitely don't let them rape any family
> members.
>
> Right now preparing to drop a large Easter basket
User name Brown Onion,
Disparaging remarks during the Easter Season is not acceptable.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother tips
> the wetbacks in addition to their minimal hourly
> wage. Definitely don't let them rape any family
> members.
>
> Right now preparing to drop a large Easter basket
User name Brown Onion,
Disparaging remarks during the Easter Season is not acceptable.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Hector
()
Date: March 26, 2016 01:08PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother tips
> the wetbacks in addition to their minimal hourly
> wage. Definitely don't let them rape any family
> members.
>
> Right now preparing to drop a large Easter basket
You are a racist asshole. I hope you shit an overweight mexican and he beats you with his gardening tools.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother tips
> the wetbacks in addition to their minimal hourly
> wage. Definitely don't let them rape any family
> members.
>
> Right now preparing to drop a large Easter basket
You are a racist asshole. I hope you shit an overweight mexican and he beats you with his gardening tools.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 26, 2016 01:32PM
Hector Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother
> tips
> > the wetbacks in addition to their minimal
> hourly
> > wage. Definitely don't let them rape any family
> > members.
> >
> > Right now preparing to drop a large Easter
> basket
>
> You are a racist asshole. I hope you shit an
> overweight mexican and he beats you with his
> gardening tools.
How are your bowels Hector or Jose or Juan?
I'm guessing with the pineapple and iguana not so Bueno
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother
> tips
> > the wetbacks in addition to their minimal
> hourly
> > wage. Definitely don't let them rape any family
> > members.
> >
> > Right now preparing to drop a large Easter
> basket
>
> You are a racist asshole. I hope you shit an
> overweight mexican and he beats you with his
> gardening tools.
How are your bowels Hector or Jose or Juan?
I'm guessing with the pineapple and iguana not so Bueno
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 26, 2016 02:33PM
Brown Onion, allow me to put the foreigner bowels issue in perspective.
My guess is the primitive third world types are blessed with the bowels of a goat, they eat anything, and drop huge but comfortable stools.
This morning I saw an English Mastiff drop a load the size of a full grown Filipino. I asked the guy walking him what he feeds that beast, and there is no fiber whatsoever in that mutts diet.
Monkeys also take good dumps, from what I've see at the zoo.
Seems the closer you get to the fully developed modern human, the more you see of disorders like our bowels. The more primitive the immigrant, the less Schphiktilogical issues they'll have.
My guess is the primitive third world types are blessed with the bowels of a goat, they eat anything, and drop huge but comfortable stools.
This morning I saw an English Mastiff drop a load the size of a full grown Filipino. I asked the guy walking him what he feeds that beast, and there is no fiber whatsoever in that mutts diet.
Monkeys also take good dumps, from what I've see at the zoo.
Seems the closer you get to the fully developed modern human, the more you see of disorders like our bowels. The more primitive the immigrant, the less Schphiktilogical issues they'll have.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 26, 2016 04:21PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother tips
> the wetbacks in addition to their minimal hourly
> wage. Definitely don't let them rape any famil
> members.
>
> Right now preparing to drop a large Easter basket
You know brown, I got some cash today to tip those poor undocumented Americans and apologise for my my brothers poor maners. I will give them 40 bucks each so long as they make no rape attempts.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother tips
> the wetbacks in addition to their minimal hourly
> wage. Definitely don't let them rape any famil
> members.
>
> Right now preparing to drop a large Easter basket
You know brown, I got some cash today to tip those poor undocumented Americans and apologise for my my brothers poor maners. I will give them 40 bucks each so long as they make no rape attempts.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Bowel Justice
()
Date: March 27, 2016 03:33AM
Good news, my bowel brothers... That black kid aka lizzie who used to torment our thread just got incarcerated so we wont be dealing with him anymore.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 27, 2016 07:06AM
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother
> tips
> > the wetbacks in addition to their minimal
> hourly
> > wage. Definitely don't let them rape any famil
> > members.
> >
> > Right now preparing to drop a large Easter
> basket
>
>
> You know brown, I got some cash today to tip those
> poor undocumented Americans and apologise for my
> my brothers poor maners. I will give them 40 bucks
> each so long as they make no rape attempts.
Yes because even with the holiday, they don't think with their bowels or heart. Happy Easter to you and all.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Happy Easter dive and make sure your brother
> tips
> > the wetbacks in addition to their minimal
> hourly
> > wage. Definitely don't let them rape any famil
> > members.
> >
> > Right now preparing to drop a large Easter
> basket
>
>
> You know brown, I got some cash today to tip those
> poor undocumented Americans and apologise for my
> my brothers poor maners. I will give them 40 bucks
> each so long as they make no rape attempts.
Yes because even with the holiday, they don't think with their bowels or heart. Happy Easter to you and all.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 27, 2016 07:08AM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion, allow me to put the foreigner bowels
> issue in perspective.
>
> My guess is the primitive third world types are
> blessed with the bowels of a goat, they eat
> anything, and drop huge but comfortable stools.
> This morning I saw an English Mastiff drop a load
> the size of a full grown Filipino. I asked the guy
> walking him what he feeds that beast, and there is
> no fiber whatsoever in that mutts diet.
>
> Monkeys also take good dumps, from what I've see
> at the zoo.
>
> Seems the closer you get to the fully developed
> modern human, the more you see of disorders like
> our bowels. The more primitive the immigrant, the
> less Schphiktilogical issues they'll have.
I believe you are very wise BEH. It is incredible what people from 3rd world countries stuff in their bowels, and even they don't have to put up with the large monsters we drop off on our groan thrones.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion, allow me to put the foreigner bowels
> issue in perspective.
>
> My guess is the primitive third world types are
> blessed with the bowels of a goat, they eat
> anything, and drop huge but comfortable stools.
> This morning I saw an English Mastiff drop a load
> the size of a full grown Filipino. I asked the guy
> walking him what he feeds that beast, and there is
> no fiber whatsoever in that mutts diet.
>
> Monkeys also take good dumps, from what I've see
> at the zoo.
>
> Seems the closer you get to the fully developed
> modern human, the more you see of disorders like
> our bowels. The more primitive the immigrant, the
> less Schphiktilogical issues they'll have.
I believe you are very wise BEH. It is incredible what people from 3rd world countries stuff in their bowels, and even they don't have to put up with the large monsters we drop off on our groan thrones.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Jhonny Bravo
()
Date: March 27, 2016 08:20AM
"Top of the world" by Jhonny Bravo
Such a feeling is coming over me
I need to get to a toilet immediately
God I don't know why, there's a twitch in my brown eye
And I won't be surprised if it's a bad dream
Everything that I want to see
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear, it's because a throne is here
It's the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen
I'm on the top of the throne in the back of a gas station
It was the only destination I could find
Im so glad that I've found a bowl that can be browned
This throne has put me at the top of the world.........
Such a feeling is coming over me
I need to get to a toilet immediately
God I don't know why, there's a twitch in my brown eye
And I won't be surprised if it's a bad dream
Everything that I want to see
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear, it's because a throne is here
It's the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen
I'm on the top of the throne in the back of a gas station
It was the only destination I could find
Im so glad that I've found a bowl that can be browned
This throne has put me at the top of the world.........
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 27, 2016 11:14AM
Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Top of the world" by Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
> Such a feeling is coming over me
> I need to get to a toilet immediately
> God I don't know why, there's a twitch in my brown
> eye
> And I won't be surprised if it's a bad dream
>
> Everything that I want to see
> Is now coming true especially for me
> And the reason is clear, it's because a throne is
> here
> It's the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen
>
> I'm on the top of the throne in the back of a gas
> station
> It was the only destination I could find
> Im so glad that I've found a bowl that can be
> browned
> This throne has put me at the top of the
> world.........
Johnny Bravo definitely deserves the best bowel musician ever! Just an incredible talent and your posts always make me smile, despite shitting out Easter bunny sized shits.
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Top of the world" by Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
> Such a feeling is coming over me
> I need to get to a toilet immediately
> God I don't know why, there's a twitch in my brown
> eye
> And I won't be surprised if it's a bad dream
>
> Everything that I want to see
> Is now coming true especially for me
> And the reason is clear, it's because a throne is
> here
> It's the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen
>
> I'm on the top of the throne in the back of a gas
> station
> It was the only destination I could find
> Im so glad that I've found a bowl that can be
> browned
> This throne has put me at the top of the
> world.........
Johnny Bravo definitely deserves the best bowel musician ever! Just an incredible talent and your posts always make me smile, despite shitting out Easter bunny sized shits.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Diced Onion
()
Date: March 27, 2016 03:41PM
Happy Easter to my brothers in bowel!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Black Underwear
()
Date: March 27, 2016 03:44PM
Fuck you BEH! All you scat lovers eating shit for Easter.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: March 27, 2016 04:14PM
Just had Slovak Easter Dinner. It was nice.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Mike O'Meara Show Fan
()
Date: March 27, 2016 04:22PM
We all know BO is peekza, but which troll in here is eesh? Guess we will find out soon since he will no longer be posting.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 27, 2016 07:52PM
Mike O'Meara Show Fan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> We all know BO is peekza, but which troll in here
> is eesh? Guess we will find out soon since he will
> no longer be posting.
Is Peekza some form of Dago food I've yet to experience? If so kiss my bowels wop.
-------------------------------------------------------
> We all know BO is peekza, but which troll in here
> is eesh? Guess we will find out soon since he will
> no longer be posting.
Is Peekza some form of Dago food I've yet to experience? If so kiss my bowels wop.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Luclutus
()
Date: March 27, 2016 08:38PM
Today after all
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 27, 2016 11:10PM
Trust me when I say this mornings elimination was painful. Upon reviewing the offending stool, I was awed by its sheer girth.
Flushing was an exercise in futility. The behemoth was immoveable.
Carefully tiptoeing through the dawns early light into the kitchen, I retrieved a plastic knife. Believe me, slicing a massive turd like a Lebanon bologna is an unpleasant chore.
When I was finally able to discard the gargantuan mass of foulness, it was time to perform the post extraction healing rituals. Hot Epsom salt baths, followed by witch hazel rinses only partially relived the pain and commenced healing.
But the worst part by far is the image of a putrid, sliced bowel movement that I just can't seem to shake out of my head.
Flushing was an exercise in futility. The behemoth was immoveable.
Carefully tiptoeing through the dawns early light into the kitchen, I retrieved a plastic knife. Believe me, slicing a massive turd like a Lebanon bologna is an unpleasant chore.
When I was finally able to discard the gargantuan mass of foulness, it was time to perform the post extraction healing rituals. Hot Epsom salt baths, followed by witch hazel rinses only partially relived the pain and commenced healing.
But the worst part by far is the image of a putrid, sliced bowel movement that I just can't seem to shake out of my head.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5 am guy
()
Date: March 28, 2016 04:55AM
Hello all 5am guy here! It has been a slow night at work tonite. 5am guy has been thinking about upper deckers again. 5am guy would love to try leaving someone an upper decker. Maybe 5am guy will try leaving one for his Mom.
5am guy wishes everyone here smooth brown sailing.
5am guy wishes everyone here smooth brown sailing.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 28, 2016 09:46AM
5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all 5am guy here! It has been a slow night
> at work tonite. 5am guy has been thinking about
> upper deckers again. 5am guy would love to try
> leaving someone an upper decker. Maybe 5am guy
> will try leaving one for his Mom.
>
> 5am guy wishes everyone here smooth brown sailing.
Haven't heard that term in awhile 5 am. How's your shit or shift work going? I'm still pleased by your groan throne accomplishment
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all 5am guy here! It has been a slow night
> at work tonite. 5am guy has been thinking about
> upper deckers again. 5am guy would love to try
> leaving someone an upper decker. Maybe 5am guy
> will try leaving one for his Mom.
>
> 5am guy wishes everyone here smooth brown sailing.
Haven't heard that term in awhile 5 am. How's your shit or shift work going? I'm still pleased by your groan throne accomplishment
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 28, 2016 09:49AM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Trust me when I say this mornings elimination was
> painful. Upon reviewing the offending stool, I
> was awed by its sheer girth.
>
> Flushing was an exercise in futility. The behemoth
> was immoveable.
>
> Carefully tiptoeing through the dawns early light
> into the kitchen, I retrieved a plastic knife.
> Believe me, slicing a massive turd like a Lebanon
> bologna is an unpleasant chore.
>
> When I was finally able to discard the gargantuan
> mass of foulness, it was time to perform the post
> extraction healing rituals. Hot Epsom salt baths,
> followed by witch hazel rinses only partially
> relived the pain and commenced healing.
>
> But the worst part by far is the image of a
> putrid, sliced bowel movement that I just can't
> seem to shake out of my head.
It is an awful experience, to not only give birth, but then cutting it up while in agony, it's unfair.
Yet we must do it because even though terrible on many levels, it's better than paying some wetback plumber who not only insults you, but rapes your ass again with a large bill.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Trust me when I say this mornings elimination was
> painful. Upon reviewing the offending stool, I
> was awed by its sheer girth.
>
> Flushing was an exercise in futility. The behemoth
> was immoveable.
>
> Carefully tiptoeing through the dawns early light
> into the kitchen, I retrieved a plastic knife.
> Believe me, slicing a massive turd like a Lebanon
> bologna is an unpleasant chore.
>
> When I was finally able to discard the gargantuan
> mass of foulness, it was time to perform the post
> extraction healing rituals. Hot Epsom salt baths,
> followed by witch hazel rinses only partially
> relived the pain and commenced healing.
>
> But the worst part by far is the image of a
> putrid, sliced bowel movement that I just can't
> seem to shake out of my head.
It is an awful experience, to not only give birth, but then cutting it up while in agony, it's unfair.
Yet we must do it because even though terrible on many levels, it's better than paying some wetback plumber who not only insults you, but rapes your ass again with a large bill.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 28, 2016 10:48AM
The lamb and potato salad from yesterday seems to be processing nicely.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: March 28, 2016 11:51AM
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The lamb and potato salad from yesterday seems to
> be processing nicely.
User name Dive bomber, be wary of lamb. Most of the time it's lean compared to beef, but a lot of my patients had a difficult digestive process.
-------------------------------------------------------
> The lamb and potato salad from yesterday seems to
> be processing nicely.
User name Dive bomber, be wary of lamb. Most of the time it's lean compared to beef, but a lot of my patients had a difficult digestive process.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 28, 2016 12:08PM
Dive Bomber, the difficult digestive process probably doesn't have as much to do with lamb as it does some quack creating a parade of various fingers and apparatus up your ass.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 28, 2016 03:13PM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive Bomber, the difficult digestive process
> probably doesn't have as much to do with lamb as
> it does some quack creating a parade of various
> fingers and apparatus up your ass.
I agree as my anal doctor is a sadist, hell bent on pillaging my ass like a wetback, albeit at a much higher cost.
It's embarrassing having to be defrocked each visit. The El Salvadorian janitor sneers at me in the lobby, as he knows the doctor is smoking a cigarette along with drinking beer after touching my rectum inappropriately.
The cold calculating nurses treat me as if a leper, and I don't like how I don't at least get a thank you note or flowers.
Even worse is the post doctor visit. Last time I crapped out a college class ring, and with my rectal mirror, I saw the Rolex imprint up there.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive Bomber, the difficult digestive process
> probably doesn't have as much to do with lamb as
> it does some quack creating a parade of various
> fingers and apparatus up your ass.
I agree as my anal doctor is a sadist, hell bent on pillaging my ass like a wetback, albeit at a much higher cost.
It's embarrassing having to be defrocked each visit. The El Salvadorian janitor sneers at me in the lobby, as he knows the doctor is smoking a cigarette along with drinking beer after touching my rectum inappropriately.
The cold calculating nurses treat me as if a leper, and I don't like how I don't at least get a thank you note or flowers.
Even worse is the post doctor visit. Last time I crapped out a college class ring, and with my rectal mirror, I saw the Rolex imprint up there.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: March 28, 2016 03:35PM
Going home early. Coworkers are abusing me.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Miscavage
()
Date: March 28, 2016 04:08PM
I had a bad one today. Obviously not what you guys deal with on a regular basis but I have even more sympathy for you. Hope you all had a good Easter
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 28, 2016 07:52PM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive Bomber, the difficult digestive process
> probably doesn't have as much to do with lamb as
> it does some quack creating a parade of various
> fingers and apparatus up your ass.
You know, BEH I wasted a half dozen co-pays on doctors who did nothing more than ram their fingers up my ass and prescribe drugs. I did however improve my situation by changing to a "mostly" bowel friendly diet plan that I got off the internet for free!
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive Bomber, the difficult digestive process
> probably doesn't have as much to do with lamb as
> it does some quack creating a parade of various
> fingers and apparatus up your ass.
You know, BEH I wasted a half dozen co-pays on doctors who did nothing more than ram their fingers up my ass and prescribe drugs. I did however improve my situation by changing to a "mostly" bowel friendly diet plan that I got off the internet for free!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 28, 2016 07:56PM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Going home early. Coworkers are abusing me.
Fuck those guys Gordo. If they do that shit again get a vid of it and threaten to take it to HR.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Going home early. Coworkers are abusing me.
Fuck those guys Gordo. If they do that shit again get a vid of it and threaten to take it to HR.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 28, 2016 08:38PM
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dive Bomber, the difficult digestive process
> > probably doesn't have as much to do with lamb
> as
> > it does some quack creating a parade of various
> > fingers and apparatus up your ass.
>
>
> You know, BEH I wasted a half dozen co-pays on
> doctors who did nothing more than ram their
> fingers up my ass and prescribe drugs. I did
> however improve my situation by changing to a
> "mostly" bowel friendly diet plan that I got off
> the internet for free!
Dive just out of curiosity what did you find off the web? And Gordo ignore those pieces of shit at work. You are valued here always.
Doctors are a bunch of snake oil salesmen when it comes to bowels. All you get for your money is a hand in your asshole and wallet.
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dive Bomber, the difficult digestive process
> > probably doesn't have as much to do with lamb
> as
> > it does some quack creating a parade of various
> > fingers and apparatus up your ass.
>
>
> You know, BEH I wasted a half dozen co-pays on
> doctors who did nothing more than ram their
> fingers up my ass and prescribe drugs. I did
> however improve my situation by changing to a
> "mostly" bowel friendly diet plan that I got off
> the internet for free!
Dive just out of curiosity what did you find off the web? And Gordo ignore those pieces of shit at work. You are valued here always.
Doctors are a bunch of snake oil salesmen when it comes to bowels. All you get for your money is a hand in your asshole and wallet.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5 am guy
()
Date: March 29, 2016 04:52AM
Hi all! 5 am guy checking in here. 5 am guy is bored, nothing to do at work tonight. 5 am guy was messaging a girl from Holland earlier and she told 5 am guy about a guy who took a 26 foot long dump, 5 am guy thought that was interesting and topical for the brothers in brown.
http://unrealfacts.com/longest-human-poop-ever-recorded-amazing-26-feet/
http://unrealfacts.com/longest-human-poop-ever-recorded-amazing-26-feet/
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 29, 2016 06:18AM
5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5 am guy checking in here. 5 am guy is
> bored, nothing to do at work tonight. 5 am guy was
> messaging a girl from Holland earlier and she told
> 5 am guy about a guy who took a 26 foot long dump,
> 5 am guy thought that was interesting and topical
> for the brothers in brown.
>
> http://unrealfacts.com/longest-human-poop-ever-rec
> orded-amazing-26-feet/
Now that's an amazing shit 5 am guy.
She's lucky though. Wondering what the record for girth is.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5 am guy checking in here. 5 am guy is
> bored, nothing to do at work tonight. 5 am guy was
> messaging a girl from Holland earlier and she told
> 5 am guy about a guy who took a 26 foot long dump,
> 5 am guy thought that was interesting and topical
> for the brothers in brown.
>
> http://unrealfacts.com/longest-human-poop-ever-rec
> orded-amazing-26-feet/
Now that's an amazing shit 5 am guy.
She's lucky though. Wondering what the record for girth is.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
hearsay
()
Date: March 29, 2016 07:59AM
5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all 5am guy here! It has been a slow night
> at work tonite. 5am guy has been thinking about
> upper deckers again. 5am guy would love to try
> leaving someone an upper decker. Maybe 5am guy
> will try leaving one for his Mom.
>
> 5am guy wishes everyone here smooth brown sailing.
Seriously, you should write professionally.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all 5am guy here! It has been a slow night
> at work tonite. 5am guy has been thinking about
> upper deckers again. 5am guy would love to try
> leaving someone an upper decker. Maybe 5am guy
> will try leaving one for his Mom.
>
> 5am guy wishes everyone here smooth brown sailing.
Seriously, you should write professionally.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 29, 2016 08:04AM
My groan time although painful is sacred. I can't tell you how many James Michener or John Updike novels I've finished in one session.
Do not interrupt me, as I'm reading or biting down on sandpaper, to make the screams down muffled in noise.
I appreciate the HOAs annual termite inspection and repairs as necessary.
Yet to have my time interrupted by a bunch of third world savages from Pakistan and El Salvador is unacceptable. There are no small boys to rape or blow up, there's no goat or iguana to dine on. Their wearing clothes pins on their noses is even more unacceptable, especially considering they come from shithole countries, where the groan throne more likely than not is a hole with rats running around it.
Do not interrupt me, as I'm reading or biting down on sandpaper, to make the screams down muffled in noise.
I appreciate the HOAs annual termite inspection and repairs as necessary.
Yet to have my time interrupted by a bunch of third world savages from Pakistan and El Salvador is unacceptable. There are no small boys to rape or blow up, there's no goat or iguana to dine on. Their wearing clothes pins on their noses is even more unacceptable, especially considering they come from shithole countries, where the groan throne more likely than not is a hole with rats running around it.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 29, 2016 10:58AM
Dropped a fantastic load this morning. I have been craving a double whopper with chese and a large fry. Today may be the day to go for it. I think the lamb meat I ate on Easter exited my system.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: March 29, 2016 11:17AM
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dropped a fantastic load this morning. I have been
> craving a double whopper with chese and a large
> fry. Today may be the day to go for it. I think
> the lamb meat I ate on Easter exited my system.
User name dive bomber,
Digestion of such a food would be around 36 hours for most.
Instead of eating that meal, consider making an appointment with a board certified GI.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dropped a fantastic load this morning. I have been
> craving a double whopper with chese and a large
> fry. Today may be the day to go for it. I think
> the lamb meat I ate on Easter exited my system.
User name dive bomber,
Digestion of such a food would be around 36 hours for most.
Instead of eating that meal, consider making an appointment with a board certified GI.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Black Underwear
()
Date: March 29, 2016 11:21AM
Fuck you scat lover BEH! Lie around in shit!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 29, 2016 11:53AM
I look at my rectal mirror with concern.
Earlier I dropped a large behemoth, but it appears I have more shit to do.
Although expensive I think a midwife or two perhaps.
Earlier I dropped a large behemoth, but it appears I have more shit to do.
Although expensive I think a midwife or two perhaps.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Splatter
()
Date: March 29, 2016 03:55PM
Hi fellows it's been awhile. I read your posts. I could be wrong if I missed it my fault but any solutions for bloody tp? Sometimes after big ones I bleed.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Wally Joyner
()
Date: March 29, 2016 03:59PM
Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi fellows it's been awhile. I read your posts. I
> could be wrong if I missed it my fault but any
> solutions for bloody tp? Sometimes after big ones
> I bleed.
Vagisil plus not getting fucked for one.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi fellows it's been awhile. I read your posts. I
> could be wrong if I missed it my fault but any
> solutions for bloody tp? Sometimes after big ones
> I bleed.
Vagisil plus not getting fucked for one.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 29, 2016 05:18PM
Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dropped a fantastic load this morning. I have
> been
> > craving a double whopper with chese and a large
> > fry. Today may be the day to go for it. I think
> > the lamb meat I ate on Easter exited my system.
>
>
> User name dive bomber,
>
> Digestion of such a food would be around 36 hours
> for most.
>
> Instead of eating that meal, consider making an
> appointment with a board certified GI.
Thanks for that advice doc. I know you mean well and I'm sure you and your colleges have helped some people. My personal experience with certified GI's has been quite negative. Thanks again for your input though.
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dropped a fantastic load this morning. I have
> been
> > craving a double whopper with chese and a large
> > fry. Today may be the day to go for it. I think
> > the lamb meat I ate on Easter exited my system.
>
>
> User name dive bomber,
>
> Digestion of such a food would be around 36 hours
> for most.
>
> Instead of eating that meal, consider making an
> appointment with a board certified GI.
Thanks for that advice doc. I know you mean well and I'm sure you and your colleges have helped some people. My personal experience with certified GI's has been quite negative. Thanks again for your input though.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 29, 2016 07:25PM
Dive,
Be wary of anon dick, pictured here, as he wants to get in your checking account and ass.
I believe he is trying to divide and conquer the brown, the brothers in bowel with divisive comments.
He's a shit stirrer. Be very careful dive, or you might end up strapped to his table as he smiles and smokes a cigarette.
Attachments:
Be wary of anon dick, pictured here, as he wants to get in your checking account and ass.
I believe he is trying to divide and conquer the brown, the brothers in bowel with divisive comments.
He's a shit stirrer. Be very careful dive, or you might end up strapped to his table as he smiles and smokes a cigarette.
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 30, 2016 06:28AM
I hate the feeling of a large object in your gut upon waking up.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 30, 2016 07:16AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive,
>
> Be wary of anon dick, pictured here, as he wants
> to get in your checking account and ass.
>
> I believe he is trying to divide and conquer the
> brown, the brothers in bowel with divisive
> comments.
>
> He's a shit stirrer. Be very careful dive, or you
> might end up strapped to his table as he smiles
> and smokes a cigarette.
Dont worry brown I know the doc is a dickhead. I was just trying to let him know that his "advice" is quite useless and I think most of us have been down that road with these doctors that simply want to make a zerox copy of our heathcare cards and collect our co-pays so they can get out on the golf course by 1 pm.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dive,
>
> Be wary of anon dick, pictured here, as he wants
> to get in your checking account and ass.
>
> I believe he is trying to divide and conquer the
> brown, the brothers in bowel with divisive
> comments.
>
> He's a shit stirrer. Be very careful dive, or you
> might end up strapped to his table as he smiles
> and smokes a cigarette.
Dont worry brown I know the doc is a dickhead. I was just trying to let him know that his "advice" is quite useless and I think most of us have been down that road with these doctors that simply want to make a zerox copy of our heathcare cards and collect our co-pays so they can get out on the golf course by 1 pm.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 30, 2016 07:31AM
Mrs dive wants to go to Virgina beach for a long weekend in April. I cant help but think about the ultimate weapon of ass destruction that is located there, Capitan Georges seafood buffet. My tastebuds say yes but my gut says no.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 30, 2016 08:44AM
Good to see dive, as you had me slightly worried. They do play with holes, in their office and off work.
Hopefully your gut prevails and your bowels don't catch crabs.
Hopefully your gut prevails and your bowels don't catch crabs.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: March 30, 2016 11:24AM
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dive,
> >
> > Be wary of anon dick, pictured here, as he
> wants
> > to get in your checking account and ass.
> >
> > I believe he is trying to divide and conquer
> the
> > brown, the brothers in bowel with divisive
> > comments.
> >
> > He's a shit stirrer. Be very careful dive, or
> you
> > might end up strapped to his table as he smiles
> > and smokes a cigarette.
>
>
> Dont worry brown I know the doc is a dickhead. I
> was just trying to let him know that his "advice"
> is quite useless and I think most of us have been
> down that road with these doctors that simply want
> to make a zerox copy of our heathcare cards and
> collect our co-pays so they can get out on the
> golf course by 1 pm.
User name dive bomber,
I don't particularly like your vulgarity nor your disrespect towards medical professionals. I spent years studying, and continue to consult, along with following research in the field. It would behoove you, to see a board certified GI and psychiatrists with your cohorts here.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Dive,
> >
> > Be wary of anon dick, pictured here, as he
> wants
> > to get in your checking account and ass.
> >
> > I believe he is trying to divide and conquer
> the
> > brown, the brothers in bowel with divisive
> > comments.
> >
> > He's a shit stirrer. Be very careful dive, or
> you
> > might end up strapped to his table as he smiles
> > and smokes a cigarette.
>
>
> Dont worry brown I know the doc is a dickhead. I
> was just trying to let him know that his "advice"
> is quite useless and I think most of us have been
> down that road with these doctors that simply want
> to make a zerox copy of our heathcare cards and
> collect our co-pays so they can get out on the
> golf course by 1 pm.
User name dive bomber,
I don't particularly like your vulgarity nor your disrespect towards medical professionals. I spent years studying, and continue to consult, along with following research in the field. It would behoove you, to see a board certified GI and psychiatrists with your cohorts here.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Diced Onion
()
Date: March 30, 2016 12:30PM
I ate doughnuts and lots of breakfast burritos. Its unfortunate. I wish I could stop this but the foods are so tasty.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 30, 2016 01:45PM
I wonder what "research" Anon Doc is talking about? The search for faster ways to cash your check? More varieties of medieval objects to shove up everybody's asses? Advanced arrogance, cruelty and humiliation techniques?
Because after 30 years of suffering with absolutely no relief, I can tell you, the research has not been for a cure.
In fact, right now, my colon is beginning to falter. As usual, there is a jam right at the ileocecal junction. My cecum is inflamed, irritated. I'm worried for my rectum, and scared for my Schphinkter. There will be no happy ending for this bowel movement.
I won't hold my breath waiting for any assistance from a "Board Certified GI"
Because after 30 years of suffering with absolutely no relief, I can tell you, the research has not been for a cure.
In fact, right now, my colon is beginning to falter. As usual, there is a jam right at the ileocecal junction. My cecum is inflamed, irritated. I'm worried for my rectum, and scared for my Schphinkter. There will be no happy ending for this bowel movement.
I won't hold my breath waiting for any assistance from a "Board Certified GI"
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: March 30, 2016 02:43PM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wonder what "research" Anon Doc is talking
> about? The search for faster ways to cash your
> check? More varieties of medieval objects to
> shove up everybody's asses? Advanced arrogance,
> cruelty and humiliation techniques?
>
> Because after 30 years of suffering with
> absolutely no relief, I can tell you, the research
> has not been for a cure.
>
> In fact, right now, my colon is beginning to
> falter. As usual, there is a jam right at the
> ileocecal junction. My cecum is inflamed,
> irritated. I'm worried for my rectum, and scared
> for my Schphinkter. There will be no happy ending
> for this bowel movement.
>
> I won't hold my breath waiting for any assistance
> from a "Board Certified GI"
User name BEh,
You use what's left of your cerebral cortex, to talk about things you don't understand.
Absurd in all of your write ups. I have no doubt you've never seen a GI.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wonder what "research" Anon Doc is talking
> about? The search for faster ways to cash your
> check? More varieties of medieval objects to
> shove up everybody's asses? Advanced arrogance,
> cruelty and humiliation techniques?
>
> Because after 30 years of suffering with
> absolutely no relief, I can tell you, the research
> has not been for a cure.
>
> In fact, right now, my colon is beginning to
> falter. As usual, there is a jam right at the
> ileocecal junction. My cecum is inflamed,
> irritated. I'm worried for my rectum, and scared
> for my Schphinkter. There will be no happy ending
> for this bowel movement.
>
> I won't hold my breath waiting for any assistance
> from a "Board Certified GI"
User name BEh,
You use what's left of your cerebral cortex, to talk about things you don't understand.
Absurd in all of your write ups. I have no doubt you've never seen a GI.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: March 30, 2016 07:45PM
My ass has done very well considering the horrific food that I have consumed in the last week. I just experienced this,
"The Childbirth Dump - This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf". You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do:
1. Scream
2. Call an Obstetrician
3. Hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it."
"The Childbirth Dump - This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf". You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do:
1. Scream
2. Call an Obstetrician
3. Hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it."