To keep imitating GO is proof you like him.

Its either bloating with softer ones or feeling comfortable with large ones. Either way is a losing battle. I don't eat candy bars, cookies, processed foods and now this!

As a man in his 70's, granted not everything used to be what it is, but I happen to disagree vehemently with most people writing here.

I'm no spring chicken, but three to five miles walked a day, and a game of golf twice a week, and I don't have bathroom issues I had when 18. Yes I eat fruits and vegetables too, but a couple times a week a piece of apple pie or a few cookies. Notice the reasonable limits.

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jersey Mike's Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Green Onion what is the 'Tennessee-Tea Stains'
> > game in the furniture store??? Why do you need
> > cheese cloth for it?
>
> "Tennessee-Tea Stains" game involves wearing dark
> colored slacks or shorts. You use cheesecloth as
> underwear then have a large movement in your
> pants. After awhile the moisture leaches through
> your garment. Participants then roam various
> furniture stores in search of light colored cloth
> upholstery.
>
> After sitting on the furniture and getting up a
> 'tea stain' is left behind. If you hit enough
> chairs, sofas and bedspreads in a store there are
> tea stains everywhere. The aroma can be quite
> intense. Erotica-vandalism as it were.
>
> I missed this months gathering due to Hammer
> messing up the timing and me messing up my
> vehicle...


OMG - is this for real?!? What is going on here???

Advocate Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> As a man in his 70's, granted not everything used
> to be what it is, but I happen to disagree
> vehemently with most people writing here.
>
> I'm no spring chicken, but three to five miles
> walked a day, and a game of golf twice a week, and
> I don't have bathroom issues I had when 18. Yes I
> eat fruits and vegetables too, but a couple times
> a week a piece of apple pie or a few cookies.
> Notice the reasonable limits.

Finally a practical write up. I approve of this one, although seeing a board certified GI helps also.

Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Advocate Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > As a man in his 70's, granted not everything
> used
> > to be what it is, but I happen to disagree
> > vehemently with most people writing here.
> >
> > I'm no spring chicken, but three to five miles
> > walked a day, and a game of golf twice a week,
> and
> > I don't have bathroom issues I had when 18. Yes
> I
> > eat fruits and vegetables too, but a couple
> times
> > a week a piece of apple pie or a few cookies.
> > Notice the reasonable limits.
>
> Finally a practical write up. I approve of this
> one, although seeing a board certified GI helps
> also.

Yes so we can sit in your chair spread eagle with your forceps, ditch diggers, and whatever "medical" devices you can shove in our rectums.

No thanks I have enough bowel pain without your treatments!

You, Brown Onion, and BEH with your blathering immature write ups, have done a disservice to those who do have health problems best handled by a medical professional.

You are all detrimental to society, and my best guess is you are all sick ex convicts.

Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You, Brown Onion, and BEH with your blathering
> immature write ups, have done a disservice to
> those who do have health problems best handled by
> a medical professional.
>
> You are all detrimental to society, and my best
> guess is you are all sick ex convicts.


Finally a direct write-up by Anon Doc. Bout time.

Yes anon doctor has so much respect here. Just another piece of shit who's caring is forceps and medieval torture devices. And he charges big bucks for such compassion.

Cabbage. Boiled especially. Add this plus scrambled eggs and your bathroom will smell for days.

My Dad made grits and sausage for breakfast today, thats it, just grits and sausage pattys. No fruit No juice No toast No eggs. I told him I wanted something else that was more healthy. He told me that there were like a million kids in this world that have almost nothing to eat and I should be thankful for grits and sausage and I better shut the fuck up and eat the Goddamn grits and sausage right fucking now or he will change the password for the internet and not tell me what it is. Well I ate the grits and sausage but I didnt like it.

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My Dad made grits and sausage for breakfast today,
> thats it, just grits and sausage pattys. No fruit
> No juice No toast No eggs. I told him I wanted
> something else that was more healthy. He told me
> that there were like a million kids in this world
> that have almost nothing to eat and I should be
> thankful for grits and sausage and I better shut
> the fuck up and eat the Goddamn grits and sausage
> right fucking now or he will change the password
> for the internet and not tell me what it is. Well
> I ate the grits and sausage but I didnt like it.

Wow he's in a grumpy mood spring. Do you think a kind handwritten note of concern about his bowels might help?

I'm not defending him but his anger and frustration are probably bowel related. My guess is he's about to give birth to a huge brown stinky tarbaby, and after this passes his attitude/mood shall improve.

Hang in there spring onion!

Why would you speak to maybe a high school kid in such a manner? You truly are disgusting!

Young man this Green Onion is an awful man. My suggestion to you is let Big Momma or a church pantry know if you need fruits and vegetables.

Walking down Fairfax Boulevardz. In only underwearz. Want a oil changez with extraz? Come visit my bayz in the bayz. A few buckz.

After breakfast with balanced items, a brisk walk, I come home to more complaining. "The boy who cried wolf," one too many times seems appropriate here.

Today the weather is excellent. Go for a walk, it doesn't matter what speed. Or a bike ride on the relatively flat W+OD. A half hour to an hour would serve you well.

I'd bet the farm if everyone exercised and ate well, this belly aching wouldn't be a problem.

jcc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Jersey Mike's Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Green Onion what is the 'Tennessee-Tea
> Stains'
> > > game in the furniture store??? Why do you
> need
> > > cheese cloth for it?
> >
> > "Tennessee-Tea Stains" game involves wearing
> dark
> > colored slacks or shorts. You use cheesecloth
> as
> > underwear then have a large movement in your
> > pants. After awhile the moisture leaches
> through
> > your garment. Participants then roam various
> > furniture stores in search of light colored
> cloth
> > upholstery.
> >
> > After sitting on the furniture and getting up a
> > 'tea stain' is left behind. If you hit enough
> > chairs, sofas and bedspreads in a store there
> are
> > tea stains everywhere. The aroma can be quite
> > intense. Erotica-vandalism as it were.
> >
> > I missed this months gathering due to Hammer
> > messing up the timing and me messing up my
> > vehicle...
>
>
> OMG - is this for real?!? What is going on
> here???


Green Onion is the leader of the disgusting children running this thread - full of vile behaviors.

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> spring onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My Dad made grits and sausage for breakfast
> today,
> > thats it, just grits and sausage pattys. No
> fruit
> > No juice No toast No eggs. I told him I wanted
> > something else that was more healthy. He told
> me
> > that there were like a million kids in this
> world
> > that have almost nothing to eat and I should be
> > thankful for grits and sausage and I better
> shut
> > the fuck up and eat the Goddamn grits and
> sausage
> > right fucking now or he will change the
> password
> > for the internet and not tell me what it is.
> Well
> > I ate the grits and sausage but I didnt like
> it.
>
> Wow he's in a grumpy mood spring. Do you think a
> kind handwritten note of concern about his bowels
> might help?
>
> I'm not defending him but his anger and
> frustration are probably bowel related. My guess
> is he's about to give birth to a huge brown stinky
> tarbaby, and after this passes his attitude/mood
> shall improve.
>
> Hang in there spring onion!


Thank you Green. My Dad is now lighting up his Weber kettle and he is going to cook a huge tray of chicken thighs to eat while watching the Redskins game. It's no wonder he has bowel problems eating so much meat. He is going to slather the thighs with hot sauce and bbq sauce. He also put a case of pabst blue ribbon on ice in his huge cooler. One of our neighbors that weighs over 400 pounds is already here drinking the beer out on our patio. The two of them will be drunk and bloated by 4pm I'm sure.

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > spring onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > My Dad made grits and sausage for breakfast
> > today,
> > > thats it, just grits and sausage pattys. No
> > fruit
> > > No juice No toast No eggs. I told him I
> wanted
> > > something else that was more healthy. He told
> > me
> > > that there were like a million kids in this
> > world
> > > that have almost nothing to eat and I should
> be
> > > thankful for grits and sausage and I better
> > shut
> > > the fuck up and eat the Goddamn grits and
> > sausage
> > > right fucking now or he will change the
> > password
> > > for the internet and not tell me what it is.
> > Well
> > > I ate the grits and sausage but I didnt like
> > it.
> >
> > Wow he's in a grumpy mood spring. Do you think
> a
> > kind handwritten note of concern about his
> bowels
> > might help?
> >
> > I'm not defending him but his anger and
> > frustration are probably bowel related. My
> guess
> > is he's about to give birth to a huge brown
> stinky
> > tarbaby, and after this passes his
> attitude/mood
> > shall improve.
> >
> > Hang in there spring onion!
>
>
> Thank you Green. My Dad is now lighting up his
> Weber kettle and he is going to cook a huge tray
> of chicken thighs to eat while watching the
> Redskins game. It's no wonder he has bowel
> problems eating so much meat. He is going to
> slather the thighs with hot sauce and bbq sauce.
> He also put a case of pabst blue ribbon on ice in
> his huge cooler. One of our neighbors that weighs
> over 400 pounds is already here drinking the beer
> out on our patio. The two of them will be drunk
> and bloated by 4pm I'm sure.

Spring

1. No one can force you to eat sausage - you like it and that is ok. Buy oatmeal if you dont like it - its cheap and with an after school job you could easily afford to buy oatmeal and soy milk and other vegetarian options. Im sure your parents would buy it for you if you pointed out its much cheaper than sausage.

2. Your dad eats poorly. That is not you - leave him alone. Observe what happens to him in life physically and make your own choices about your health and the future.

3. The Washington football team will have a losing season but many will support the racist owner and his unlimited greed. Root for the Eagles.

4. How are your bowels?

5. Green Onion is an adult fetishist - avoid talking to him and never ever accept emails or share specific personal information with him. Talk to your parents about online predators and consider having them monitor this thread and your discussions here.

As a retired medical professional, I am concerned for our youth, and people's reluctance to seek care based upon these write ups.

While not a psychiatrist, a look at the DSM guide shows Brown Onion, Green Onion, BEH and others showing disturbing mental health traits here.

red onion class of 20006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Walking down Fairfax Boulevardz. In only
> underwearz. Want a oil changez with extraz? Come
> visit my bayz in the bayz. A few buckz.


red onion - I am deeply concerned about the health of your bowels in the 'bayz' There is no shame in working an honest days labor spinning 'signz' or changing oil in the 'bayz' but I am concerned about the apparent pounding your bowels are getting in fulfilling your duties in the above. Repeated penetration, especially of the violent nature you describe will harm your anus and cause problems with your bowels.

Please seek the assistance of the many outreach programs available to persons in your position(s) (mostly bent over in the bayz).

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > spring onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > My Dad made grits and sausage for breakfast
> > today,
> > > thats it, just grits and sausage pattys. No
> > fruit
> > > No juice No toast No eggs. I told him I
> wanted
> > > something else that was more healthy. He told
> > me
> > > that there were like a million kids in this
> > world
> > > that have almost nothing to eat and I should
> be
> > > thankful for grits and sausage and I better
> > shut
> > > the fuck up and eat the Goddamn grits and
> > sausage
> > > right fucking now or he will change the
> > password
> > > for the internet and not tell me what it is.
> > Well
> > > I ate the grits and sausage but I didnt like
> > it.
> >
> > Wow he's in a grumpy mood spring. Do you think
> a
> > kind handwritten note of concern about his
> bowels
> > might help?
> >
> > I'm not defending him but his anger and
> > frustration are probably bowel related. My
> guess
> > is he's about to give birth to a huge brown
> stinky
> > tarbaby, and after this passes his
> attitude/mood
> > shall improve.
> >
> > Hang in there spring onion!
>
>
> Thank you Green. My Dad is now lighting up his
> Weber kettle and he is going to cook a huge tray
> of chicken thighs to eat while watching the
> Redskins game. It's no wonder he has bowel
> problems eating so much meat. He is going to
> slather the thighs with hot sauce and bbq sauce.
> He also put a case of pabst blue ribbon on ice in
> his huge cooler. One of our neighbors that weighs
> over 400 pounds is already here drinking the beer
> out on our patio. The two of them will be drunk
> and bloated by 4pm I'm sure.


I worry about your anger and cursing. How old are you young man? I think you need to visit a church or some type of outreach, as it sounds like your diet along with your being treated terribly. You have a big hug from big momma.

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > spring onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > My Dad made grits and sausage for breakfast
> > today,
> > > thats it, just grits and sausage pattys. No
> > fruit
> > > No juice No toast No eggs. I told him I
> wanted
> > > something else that was more healthy. He told
> > me
> > > that there were like a million kids in this
> > world
> > > that have almost nothing to eat and I should
> be
> > > thankful for grits and sausage and I better
> > shut
> > > the fuck up and eat the Goddamn grits and
> > sausage
> > > right fucking now or he will change the
> > password
> > > for the internet and not tell me what it is.
> > Well
> > > I ate the grits and sausage but I didnt like
> > it.
> >
> > Wow he's in a grumpy mood spring. Do you think
> a
> > kind handwritten note of concern about his
> bowels
> > might help?
> >
> > I'm not defending him but his anger and
> > frustration are probably bowel related. My
> guess
> > is he's about to give birth to a huge brown
> stinky
> > tarbaby, and after this passes his
> attitude/mood
> > shall improve.
> >
> > Hang in there spring onion!
>
>
> Thank you Green. My Dad is now lighting up his
> Weber kettle and he is going to cook a huge tray
> of chicken thighs to eat while watching the
> Redskins game. It's no wonder he has bowel
> problems eating so much meat. He is going to
> slather the thighs with hot sauce and bbq sauce.
> He also put a case of pabst blue ribbon on ice in
> his huge cooler. One of our neighbors that weighs
> over 400 pounds is already here drinking the beer
> out on our patio. The two of them will be drunk
> and bloated by 4pm I'm sure.


Lets hope the Redskins bowels are ok, and do you need a FEMA issued breathing apparatus/hazmat suit? That is terrible and I hope you can escape the noxious fumes.

Is there a way you can buy a Hallmark card and write to him, a heartfelt message about how his bowels affect you? Those are not bowel friendly foods, and with your moms background, can she back you up?

Watching the Skins game, my diarrhea is kicking up.

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Watching the Skins game, my diarrhea is kicking
> up.

Want to join us for a shit in?

Brown Hammer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Splatter Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Watching the Skins game, my diarrhea is kicking
> > up.
>
> Want to join us for a shit in?


Nah but dropped Irma off.

Hello all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy gets off work in a few hours and then 5am guy does not have to report back to work until 11pm Wednesday night. 5am guy is going home to sleep then going to a hotel in Front royal. 5am guy is going to hang out with the girl from Dennys!

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy gets
> off work in a few hours and then 5am guy does not
> have to report back to work until 11pm Wednesday
> night. 5am guy is going home to sleep then going
> to a hotel in Front royal. 5am guy is going to
> hang out with the girl from Dennys!


Enjoy lovely Front Royal and your new found friend 5am guy. Consider a trip to Skyline drive one afternoon - its beautiful! Bottle of wine and cheese and baguette are a nice touch.

Well done 5 am. I hope she treats you well and that you get laid as well!

Waiting on Irma down below. My bowels feel 200 pounds.

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well done 5 am. I hope she treats you well and
> that you get laid as well!
>
> Waiting on Irma down below. My bowels feel 200
> pounds.

Two "Irma" references in two days - not remotely funny. Your bowels probably are 200lbs you fat fuck. Stop eating so much and get some exercise.

Should I uber home tonight? Take metro? Stay at work?

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Should I uber home tonight? Take metro? Stay at
> work?

If you cannot go 40 minutes without shitting yourself you should be in the hospital getting a colostomy bag installed. Seriously, you are very sick and need professional treatment. Or you are a scat fetishist.

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Should I uber home tonight? Take metro? Stay at
> work?


Serious answer - take uber but bring 2 garbage bags in case. If you have an emergency ask to pull over. If you are stuck on a bridge, tunnel or traffic do what you have to do. Unbuckle in the back seat, pull down your pants, take your shoe and sock off and put the sock in your teeth. Grab the handle above the door and the head rest and position your ass over the garbage bag.

Here is the tricky part, once you let go the driver is going to freak the fuck out and do anything to get you out of the car. You need to explain to him its in both your best interests to remain calm and keep the car under control and not to throw you about the backseat. It will be hard talking with the sock in your mouth but you must convince him. Once done use the sock to clean up and seal the bag.

Of course I would have an extra hundred dollars on hand for a tip in this case and its probably a good idea to use a fake name and have a pick-up/drop off at addresses other than your own.

Best of luck and please take pictures.

disgusting people here really

I had a big one this morning, it was a Absolute Ass Drainer.

Transportation Onion - funny but a new low here on FYBDW thread.

Black Lives Matter Movement is this what this about

Are Bowels BLM related? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Black Lives Matter Movement is this what this
> about


Hey great point and welcome to the thread! Of course persons of color and the cops that hassle and murder them all have bowel problems just like the rest of us! l_o_l We do avoid politics on this thread tho so why not let us know how your bowels are treating you today...

Be out tomorrow spinning signz. In nothing but underwearz. Oil changez specialz. Get your extra fluidz worked off for a couple buckz. I get good beerz.

I'm not trying to be the proverbial grumpy old man, but its simple. I woke up at 6, had Raisin Bran, OJ, one piece of bacon, coffee. Went #2.

Played 18 holes of golf. Had chicken salad and one water for lunch. Walked a couple miles, read a book and took a #2.

A balanced day. Balanced being the key word, try it.

Advocate Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm not trying to be the proverbial grumpy old
> man, but its simple. I woke up at 6, had Raisin
> Bran, OJ, one piece of bacon, coffee. Went #2.
>
> Played 18 holes of golf. Had chicken salad and one
> water for lunch. Walked a couple miles, read a
> book and took a #2.
>
> A balanced day. Balanced being the key word, try
> it.

Sir have you ever shit out Caterpillar Construction equipment?

Waffles hash browns and orange juice. My poor bowels!

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Waffles hash browns and orange juice. My poor
> bowels!


When you eat garbage, you are what you eat.

Rainz less painz. But less moneyz. Going to offer half off specialz. Hope get some moneyz for servicez.

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Waffles hash browns and orange juice. My poor
> bowels!


Why not bread, french fries and soda for breakfast? Same thing. Do you have a plate of candy bars for dinner now that you are all grown up and can eat anything you want? Moron.

Its okay Diced. Unlike these sanctimonius assholes, I won't judge as our guts tell us what to eat. That's right your bowels choose for you.

So its your bowels fault not yours per se.

Nastiest gross combo yet.

Throw scrambled eggs in a mix of raspberries, blueberries, and oranges.

You're welcome!

Methane Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nastiest gross combo yet.
>
> Throw scrambled eggs in a mix of raspberries,
> blueberries, and oranges.
>
> You're welcome!


Ok great but is it bowel friendly?

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Its okay Diced. Unlike these sanctimonius
> assholes, I won't judge as our guts tell us what
> to eat. That's right your bowels choose for you.
>
> So its your bowels fault not yours per se.


Having bowel problems after eating starchy, greasy sugary foods only proves that you are human, not that you have digestive 'problems.' Also anyone eating that diet is likely obese. More problems with that.

Fresh fruit, tea or limited coffee and some whole grain cereal, oats or a single egg is fine. You people eat like swine then complain.

This thread in one pic
Attachments:

You know I understand people have health problems. Also I know its 2017 but must we talk about such publicly? This is for behind closed doors kind of material, and I'm trying to protect my fellow Christians and innocent children from such topics.

Big Momma Fairfax Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You know I understand people have health problems.
> Also I know its 2017 but must we talk about such
> publicly? This is for behind closed doors kind of
> material, and I'm trying to protect my fellow
> Christians and innocent children from such topics.


Some straight talk from someone with common sense - thank you Momma Fairfax and God bless. You no doubt have your share of domestic experience so while I have you here quick question - sometimes when Im cleaning the bathrooms I notice shit-spray all over the underside of the toilet seat - how the fuck does that happen?!?

Thnx in advance and again, bless you for your staid comments and advise...

Scat obsession whatever

Well there's been some softening but still they are huge. And the gas that accompanies this diet, just not sure if sacrificing all the good foods are worth this. The gas pains and not having what I want to eat. Going to try until October but tiring fast of it.

Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy spent Monday and Tuesday night in Front Royal at a place called the Twilite motel. 5am guy had a hard time with bowels and did not poop the whole time 5am guy was in Front Royal. 5am guy and the Dennys girl went out to eat at a place called the melting pot pizza place and 5am guy and the Dennys girl also went up on Skyline drive and went on a tour of the route 11 potato chip factory. 5am guy had a huge poop as soon as 5am guy got home yesterday. 5am guy has a real problem pooping in unfamiliar places.
5am guy and the Dennys girl are starting to like each other.

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy spent
> Monday and Tuesday night in Front Royal at a place
> called the Twilite motel. 5am guy had a hard time
> with bowels and did not poop the whole time 5am
> guy was in Front Royal. 5am guy and the Dennys
> girl went out to eat at a place called the melting
> pot pizza place and 5am guy and the Dennys girl
> also went up on Skyline drive and went on a tour
> of the route 11 potato chip factory. 5am guy had a
> huge poop as soon as 5am guy got home yesterday.
> 5am guy has a real problem pooping in unfamiliar
> places.
> 5am guy and the Dennys girl are starting to like
> each other.


This is wonderful 5 am! I'm happy for you your bowels and the girl. This is a win for the bowel crowd and you're a nice guy ! Glad to hear of this as sadly a lot of people relationship wise won't put up with our shit.

Hay 5 amguy! REmember that Front Royal is the herpes capital of virginnia!
Remember this,

Cover your stump before you hump.
It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper.
Don't be silly, protect your willy.
Don't be a prick, Cover your dick
When in doubt, shroud your spout.
Cover your skin, Before you break her in.
Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.
If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.
She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.
If you go into heat, package your meat.
Before you tap it cap it
Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
Wrap it before you Tap it
Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
The right selection! Protect your erection.
Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.
If you really love her, wear a cover.
Don't make a mistake! Muzzle your snake.
Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.
Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.
Bag it before you tag it!
If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
No glove, No love.
Don't be in such a jiffy, cover your stiffy.
AIDS is no joke, be sure to wrap before you poke.
If you go into heat, package your meat

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy spent
> Monday and Tuesday night in Front Royal at a place
> called the Twilite motel. 5am guy had a hard time
> with bowels and did not poop the whole time 5am
> guy was in Front Royal. 5am guy and the Dennys
> girl went out to eat at a place called the melting
> pot pizza place and 5am guy and the Dennys girl
> also went up on Skyline drive and went on a tour
> of the route 11 potato chip factory. 5am guy had a
> huge poop as soon as 5am guy got home yesterday.
> 5am guy has a real problem pooping in unfamiliar
> places.
> 5am guy and the Dennys girl are starting to like
> each other.

cool 5 am guy - glad you reached out to share some time with this person! PS you need more fiber I suggest psyllium in OJ diluted with water morning and early afternoon start with 2tbs per FUll glass. Add 1TBS after 1 week if desired results not attained.

Had to fart all through 'back to school night' last night - I spared the other parents and teacher and waited 2 hrs. to come home to evacuate. relief.

My toilet was leaking from the base - shit water coming out. Checked the bolts and they had never been tightened so it was just sitting on the partially compressed wax ring. Guess various battles on the groan throne had loosened the seal so I had small amounts of poop soop TM coming out of the groaner.

How are your facilities? Safe, bolted down tight for stormy weather?

Poop Soop TM Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My toilet was leaking from the base - shit water
> coming out. Checked the bolts and they had never
> been tightened so it was just sitting on the
> partially compressed wax ring. Guess various
> battles on the groan throne had loosened the seal
> so I had small amounts of poop soop TM coming out
> of the groaner.
>
> How are your facilities? Safe, bolted down tight
> for stormy weather?


We should be ladies and gentlemen here, and if talking about plumbing fixtures or digestive ailments, for children and other innocent souls, it would be best to use proper words not explicit ones honey.

We first began serving pizza in 1970 at the old Skyline Restaurant on the south side of the city. It wasn't until two years later that we bought the property and launched Melting Pot Pizza. On that day, we only have 64 cents to spare, but we were able to take out a small loan and create one of the most iconic places to eat in Front Royal, VA.

In 1976, we started adding other features that make our location unique, such as enclosing the old car wash into a dining room and two more additions. We continued to add to the restaurant until 1995 so we could offer our neighbors takeout and delivery in addition to eat-in services.

I faked out sick from school today and am home alone. I just needed a break from school. Watching old John Candy movies on fire stick, eating jiffy pop and having grape soda!

Manassas has Golden Corral! I love to go there and pay like 11 bucks and then eat huge amounts of food. Ribs, fried chicken, potato salad and coleslaw, cake , pie, ice cream plus unlimited soda! The food is so very good. The next day I shit all that food out with ease. My doctor wants me to gain 15 pounds so I keep going back to GC!

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I faked out sick from school today and am home
> alone. I just needed a break from school. Watching
> old John Candy movies on fire stick, eating jiffy
> pop and having grape soda!


The late great John Candy! I hope this brings you some hoy spring onion. A shame his bowels ended up killing him.

due process Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Manassas has Golden Corral! I love to go there and
> pay like 11 bucks and then eat huge amounts of
> food. Ribs, fried chicken, potato salad and
> coleslaw, cake , pie, ice cream plus unlimited
> soda! The food is so very good. The next day I
> shit all that food out with ease. My doctor wants
> me to gain 15 pounds so I keep going back to GC!

Your bowels cry!

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> spring onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I faked out sick from school today and am home
> > alone. I just needed a break from school.
> Watching
> > old John Candy movies on fire stick, eating
> jiffy
> > pop and having grape soda!
>
>
> The late great John Candy! I hope this brings you
> some hoy spring onion. A shame his bowels ended up
> killing him.

No, like our beloved Brown Onion, John Candy died of heart failure at the age of 44. A real loss. Like most whining here Candy could have extended his life with reasonable diet and dedication to exercise.

"6-foot-3-inch Mr. Candy, who weighed more than 275 pounds at times, often complained to interviewers about his seemingly endless struggles with diets. Nevertheless, his girth was a key to his appeal on film." He looked well over 275 IMHO

Let this be remembered as a cautionary tale - if you are complaining of taking Nimitz-sized shits its because you are eating Nimitz-sized portions. If you have trouble eliminating you are eating large portions of processed shit-food like Green Onion does.

RIP Candy Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > spring onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > I faked out sick from school today and am
> home
> > > alone. I just needed a break from school.
> > Watching
> > > old John Candy movies on fire stick, eating
> > jiffy
> > > pop and having grape soda!
> >
> >
> > The late great John Candy! I hope this brings
> you
> > some hoy spring onion. A shame his bowels ended
> up
> > killing him.
>
> No, like our beloved Brown Onion, John Candy died
> of heart failure at the age of 44. A real loss.
> Like most whining here Candy could have extended
> his life with reasonable diet and dedication to
> exercise.
>
> "6-foot-3-inch Mr. Candy, who weighed more than
> 275 pounds at times, often complained to
> interviewers about his seemingly endless struggles
> with diets. Nevertheless, his girth was a key to
> his appeal on film." He looked well over 275
> IMHO
>
> Let this be remembered as a cautionary tale - if
> you are complaining of taking Nimitz-sized shits
> its because you are eating Nimitz-sized portions.
> If you have trouble eliminating you are eating
> large portions of processed shit-food like Green
> Onion does.


John Candy was unhealthy ,yes but the cocaine is what brought him down so young. I love Uncle buck and Planes trains & automobiles. Classic comedy!

RIP Candy Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > spring onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > I faked out sick from school today and am
> home
> > > alone. I just needed a break from school.
> > Watching
> > > old John Candy movies on fire stick, eating
> > jiffy
> > > pop and having grape soda!
> >
> >
> > The late great John Candy! I hope this brings
> you
> > some hoy spring onion. A shame his bowels ended
> up
> > killing him.
>
> No, like our beloved Brown Onion, John Candy died
> of heart failure at the age of 44. A real loss.
> Like most whining here Candy could have extended
> his life with reasonable diet and dedication to
> exercise.
>
> "6-foot-3-inch Mr. Candy, who weighed more than
> 275 pounds at times, often complained to
> interviewers about his seemingly endless struggles
> with diets. Nevertheless, his girth was a key to
> his appeal on film." He looked well over 275
> IMHO
>
> Let this be remembered as a cautionary tale - if
> you are complaining of taking Nimitz-sized shits
> its because you are eating Nimitz-sized portions.
> If you have trouble eliminating you are eating
> large portions of processed shit-food like Green
> Onion does.

BO was well respected here. He was a veteran as well. Lets not speak ill of the dead.

The boss cutz me loose today. Make lots of oil changez. Record dayz in bayz in bayz. Sore butt but make beer moneyz. No sign spinning but hurt bowelz.

User name Brown Onion is only heroic, in showing what happens by a combination of eating unhealthy foods, along with not consulting a board certified GI.

He could have had a longer life expectancy. People who use their write ups here to promote an unhealthy attitude, you are part of the problem and not the solution.

I think someone needs to call OSHA on behalf of red onion. His boss seems to be in violation of many safety codez.

Anal bleeding returns. The bowl looks like Stephen King It the blood scene

My butt really hurts. Are bowel transplants an option ?

A meal fit for a king! My mouth is watering just looking at this! I do
prefer the taste of men's shit, but this would still do.

How are Gene Hackman bowels

Some important posts here today - thanks. The young lady above seems to have waited too long to eliminate and should avoid holding it in. Remember to fully heat feces to 180 F prior to folding into mash.

im guessing our current President has serious bowel problems indicated by his volume of bathroom tweets.

As usual another imposter which means I'm succeeding in Brown Onions footsteps as a bowel advocate position. You can mock me and others with your above average bowels and small brains.

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> As usual another imposter which means I'm
> succeeding in Brown Onions footsteps as a bowel
> advocate position. You can mock me and others with
> your above average bowels and small brains.

Brown Onion for all his faults, had the intelligence to use a registered screen name to avoid imposters - you not so much. Frankly its hard to tell which posts come from you as a scat freak or the other scat freaks. BTW how are your bowels?

As an approaching seventy year old male, it's only common sense we can't eat like high school kids do. It doesn't mean an occasional ice cream is bad, but add some fruits, vegetables and a daily exercise.

Exercise can be anything. I did 18 holes today without the cart, and guessing it was about five miles walked.

Oh yes another Stephen King blood red bowl.

Anyone want photos?

Red bowl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh yes another Stephen King blood red bowl.
>
> Anyone want photos?


No that's ok. This is about our bowels and foods that might decrease our construction equipment sized shits.

I am up early because my Dad wants to go on a trip to Fredericksburg to look at a car he might buy. He wants to go to Cracker barrell for breakfast and Sonic for lunch. That is a major, all out ass attack as far as I am concerned. I think he is going to trade in his ford 500 on a Honda crv. He will be farting like crazy all the way home.
I hope cracker barrell has cereal and fruit on the menu.

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am up early because my Dad wants to go on a trip
> to Fredericksburg to look at a car he might buy.
> He wants to go to Cracker barrell for breakfast
> and Sonic for lunch. That is a major, all out ass
> attack as far as I am concerned. I think he is
> going to trade in his ford 500 on a Honda crv. He
> will be farting like crazy all the way home.
> I hope cracker barrell has cereal and fruit on the
> menu.

Oh .y

Oh my goodness that is torture spring onion. Vicious butt screaming torture. I don't know what to say other than I truly am sorry.

This Crapper barrel meal looks easy to digest!
Attachments:

@ spring onion, green onion is right. It sounds like your Dad is setting you up for serious trouble from below. I bet you can find some halfway decent foods at Sonic and Cracker barrel if you really scan the menu. I know Sonic sells salads! Hang in there young man!

@ advocate onion, good for you! Being in shape at your age is truly a blessing!


Btw, everyone the real red onion sent me a PM. I have been encouraging him to come back. He still reads this board most days. I hope he returns.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> @ spring onion, green onion is right. It sounds
> like your Dad is setting you up for serious
> trouble from below. I bet you can find some
> halfway decent foods at Sonic and Cracker barrel
> if you really scan the menu. I know Sonic sells
> salads! Hang in there young man!
>
> @ advocate onion, good for you! Being in shape at
> your age is truly a blessing!
>
>
> Btw, everyone the real red onion sent me a PM. I
> have been encouraging him to come back. He still
> reads this board most days. I hope he returns.

@Spring Onion - open the window dumbass. Also they sell oatmeal at cracker barrell and granola bars at sonic

@ Advocate Onion true about foods, golf is better than nothing by you should be walking 5 mi every day plus adding more aerobic exercise like biking and swimming

@ real red onion class of 2006 - miss you. Be advised the spinning signz guy is just making jokes its not personal and he uses the name 'red onion class of 20006' anyway so we know its not you. relax and laugh a little.

My rectum is wrecked. Another garage door.

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My rectum is wrecked. Another garage door.


1. Not about food your bowels dont want
2. Complaining
3. Not helpful to anyone with bowel problems
4. Not funny 'garage door' wtf?
5. You like talking about your elimination - that is a scat fetish.
6. If you anger the fake GO we are going to get more mash potato poop gifs as punishment.

Ive recently discovered 'cold-brewed' coffee - its very bowel friendly. Much less acidic than brewed coffee or tea and the flavor is really good. You can drink more and more often if you want a buzz. No unpleasant burning in your throat or stomach. Of course drink to much before a meet-up and you will need A LOT more shower curtains at the Best Western.

"Escape"

By Johnny Bravo




I was tired of my bowels, they had been in me too long
Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song
So while sitting on the shitter, I read craigslist with my buttcheeks spread
And in the personals listing, there was this posting I read

"If you like taking a good shit, and getting caught in the rain
If you´re not into constipation, if you have rectal pain
If you like taking dumps at midnight, in the dunes of the cape
I´m the relief that you´ve looked for, write to me, and escape"

Blood in the water

jhonny bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Escape"
>
> By Johnny Bravo
>
>
>
>
> I was tired of my bowels, they had been in me too
> long
> Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song
> So while sitting on the shitter, I read craigslist
> with my buttcheeks spread
> And in the personals listing, there was this
> posting I read
>
> "If you like taking a good shit, and getting
> caught in the rain
> If you´re not into constipation, if you have
> rectal pain
> If you like taking dumps at midnight, in the dunes
> of the cape
> I´m the relief that you´ve looked for, write to
> me, and escape

Is this supposed to be humorous? You really suck. How are your bowels?

jhonny bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Escape"
>
> By Johnny Bravo
>
>
>
>
> I was tired of my bowels, they had been in me too
> long
> Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song
> So while sitting on the shitter, I read craigslist
> with my buttcheeks spread
> And in the personals listing, there was this
> posting I read
>
> "If you like taking a good shit, and getting
> caught in the rain
> If you´re not into constipation, if you have
> rectal pain
> If you like taking dumps at midnight, in the dunes
> of the cape
> I´m the relief that you´ve looked for, write to
> me, and escape"


A great place for you at Woodburn, where your talents would be appreciated.

Spinning signz in underwearz. Heat is causing problemz. Got to make oil changez. Get moneyz

jhonny bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Escape"
>
> By Johnny Bravo
>
>
>
>
> I was tired of my bowels, they had been in me too
> long
> Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song
> So while sitting on the shitter, I read craigslist
> with my buttcheeks spread
> And in the personals listing, there was this
> posting I read
>
> "If you like taking a good shit, and getting
> caught in the rain
> If you´re not into constipation, if you have
> rectal pain
> If you like taking dumps at midnight, in the dunes
> of the cape
> I´m the relief that you´ve looked for, write to
> me, and escape"


Well done Mr Bravo! Levity for us with bowel problems a laugh helps a lot.

My daughter just got engaged so tonight we went to the new inlaws for an early Sat. dinner. They are big meat eaters and served pot roast mashed potatoes salad and bread. I had 2 big portions to be polite then trouble started. By the beginning of dessert I had to go bad. I excused myself and spent almost 20 min in the bathroom upstairs.

Everyone had finished coffee and pie before I returned. Worst part is I had to ask for a plunger and they didnt have one so I had to drive to the local hardware store. Everyone was good-natured about it but this is just one of the reasons having bowel problems sucks.

Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy was just using the star shower device and listening to the sounds of ocean waves in order to take a dump. 5am guy managed to take a dump but it took 5am guy over an hour to do it.

The Dennys girl wants 5am guy to come to Front Royal again but 5am guy is not so sure about doing that. 5am guy found out last week that the Dennys girl is financially challenged. The Dennys girl lives in a dilapidated old victorian style house with four roommates. The place is nasty with empty beer cans and pizza boxes strewn about. The Dennys girl has been sending explicit pictures of her body parts to 5am guy also. 5am guy is now thinking that the Dennys girl is not right for him. 5am guy will admit it has been nice interacting with another day sleeping person.

Peter Dunkirk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My daughter just got engaged so tonight we went to
> the new inlaws for an early Sat. dinner. They are
> big meat eaters and served pot roast mashed
> potatoes salad and bread. I had 2 big portions to
> be polite then trouble started. By the beginning
> of dessert I had to go bad. I excused myself and
> spent almost 20 min in the bathroom upstairs.
>
> Everyone had finished coffee and pie before I
> returned. Worst part is I had to ask for a
> plunger and they didnt have one so I had to drive
> to the local hardware store. Everyone was
> good-natured about it but this is just one of the
> reasons having bowel problems sucks.


Thank you for your heart felt honesty and especially in such a uncomfortable situation. Yet compared to the superior tool who rips us apart, I'm deeply touched by your family's compassion . Most in laws are a pain in the ass but these are angels!

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy was just
> using the star shower device and listening to the
> sounds of ocean waves in order to take a dump. 5am
> guy managed to take a dump but it took 5am guy
> over an hour to do it.
>
> The Dennys girl wants 5am guy to come to Front
> Royal again but 5am guy is not so sure about doing
> that. 5am guy found out last week that the Dennys
> girl is financially challenged. The Dennys girl
> lives in a dilapidated old victorian style house
> with four roommates. The place is nasty with empty
> beer cans and pizza boxes strewn about. The Dennys
> girl has been sending explicit pictures of her
> body parts to 5am guy also. 5am guy is now
> thinking that the Dennys girl is not right for
> him. 5am guy will admit it has been nice
> interacting with another day sleeping person.

What type of star device do you use 5 am?

I'm sorry to hear of this. Wondering if she's into meth, and the food choices around the house could make bowel woes worse.

Well my Dad bought a used car yesterday and it seems nice. We went to Sonic after he bought the car and my Dad ordered a foot long chili cheese dog with large fries and a shake while I had grilled cheese sandwich and a water. We were getting ready to leave when my Dad decided he was still hungry so he pushes the little button and orders a Chicago dog and a large onion ring! I sure was glad I was able to roll down the window on the way home as he was averaging 3 farts per mile.
Mom is taking me to Aldi later so I get to buy lunch food again this week.