Say what you will about Robb, but at least he brings spectacle to his kids' holidays and special events, even if he has to bankrupt Sharon to do it.

Poetry Fact Checker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Horseradish Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> Isn't Mike giving a speech at church this weekend?
> I bet he reads an edited version of his poem,
> which seems to be the unholy spawn of Man from
> Nantucket and 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.

A+ comment

They are begging for money, yet waste money on a useless appliance like a bread machine. What are the odds Carla has used it more than once? Nothing like spending hundreds of dollars to produce something that is inferior to something you can pick up for a couple of bucks at Publix.

Agreed Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Say what you will about Robb, but at least he
> brings spectacle to his kids' holidays and special
> events, even if he has to bankrupt Sharon to do
> it.


Don't forget clapping and cheering wildly for his children at ceremonies when everyone has been instructed to wait politely until all the names have been announced and then clap for all the children. Because that's how adults behave, right?

"The principal knew I was going to do it. Its kina my 'thing'. He likes it." - Eightt

Robb already has his Plan B in place in the event TMOS goes off the air.

- Become fat enough to qualify for disability.
- Double the amount of times he talks to Sharon in a given week.
- Change the photo on the Spewak Consulting page to an even younger photo of himself.
- Forward new Indeed job postings to Cary.
- Impose an origination fee on money kids receive for their birthdays.
- Ask Oscar what he's up to these days.
- Pound the pavement, knock on doors and network from the comfort of his above ground "basement."
- Ask Fall Out Boy for a loan.

Bread Machine Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> They are begging for money, yet waste money on a
> useless appliance like a bread machine. What are
> the odds Carla has used it more than once? Nothing
> like spending hundreds of dollars to produce
> something that is inferior to something you can
> pick up for a couple of bucks at Publix.

Carla said he needed to make more bread (her grandma was a little bit of a hippie), but he misunderstood what she meant and bought a bread machine.

Sorry, this was a Spewak-hacky joke... gotta try harder to stop listening.

676...Semper Family
Attachments:

If only those girls had God in their eyes, they could be part of Mike's family.

On Friday Mike said he felt like he was getting a second chance at being a dad with his son.

That's sweet, right?

Mike had second chances at being a husband and broadcaster. Who wouldn't be optimistic about his second chance at being a father? I mean, he obviously learns from his mistakes.

I also used to purchase the Bonus shows....individually so I spent the max. And those stupid "On the Road" downloads, the Trip to KCJJ Raw or whatever the hell it was. Just the same weak content and following those dopes on a road trip.So I stopped.

If the podcast doesn't pay for itself or fulfill you, Mike, stop! Simple as that. I work in management at a big box store and I don't walk in Monday and say "pay me for my weekend or I'm shutting the store down!" Or badger the customers and say "Buy more folks! Or I'm shutting it down!" "Bill! I see on Facebook you went to Disneyland...you could have pumped that money into this store, you entitled hump!"

LFF claims this version of his show is the most fulfilling he's ever worked on. Beyond that, demanding we buy the Bonus as a donation makes no sense. I'm not against his offering a product and expecting more income, I just think this kind of bitter sales pitch from Mike is really the whole tone of the show these days. Is he even aware of it?

Mira Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> On Friday Mike said he felt like he was getting a
> second chance at being a dad with his son.
>
> That's sweet, right?


Hopefully his first two mistakes will make it down for the holidays.

At least Mike has one thing, lil Michael, to be thankful for this Thanksgiving (two, if you count his mad poetry skills).

Also on Friday, Mike noted in passing that his son is 28 months old.

(Thanks for subscribing to MikeFacts)

Thank God Mike has a second chance to be a father.
Attachments:

Running your own business is rewarding. But it also takes a fuck-ton of work to do it well. As a business owner, you should expect to work MORE hours than when you worked for someone else, not less. You should also be aware of trends in your industry and continually working to improve your product or service. Finally, you can't be combative with customers who don't "get it." Making it "get able" is the responsibility of the business owner, not the customer.

12 months = 1 Year

28 months / 12 months = 5 years

A Postrophe Kid Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I also used to purchase the Bonus
> shows....individually so I spent the max. And
> those stupid "On the Road" downloads, the Trip to
> KCJJ Raw or whatever the hell it was. Just the
> same weak content and following those dopes on a
> road trip.So I stopped.
>
> If the podcast doesn't pay for itself or fulfill
> you, Mike, stop! Simple as that. I work in
> management at a big box store and I don't walk in
> Monday and say "pay me for my weekend or I'm
> shutting the store down!" Or badger the customers
> and say "Buy more folks! Or I'm shutting it down!"
> "Bill! I see on Facebook you went to
> Disneyland...you could have pumped that money into
> this store, you entitled hump!"
>
> LFF claims this version of his show is the most
> fulfilling he's ever worked on. Beyond that,
> demanding we buy the Bonus as a donation makes no
> sense. I'm not against his offering a product and
> expecting more income, I just think this kind of
> bitter sales pitch from Mike is really the whole
> tone of the show these days. Is he even aware of
> it?

I have to believe he took advantage of Oscar's absence to make his threat to pull the plug. I don't think Oscar would have let him prattle on that long in such a negative tone. Of course, Spewak didn't dare consider stopping him.

Today's Headline:

Has-Been Podcaster Recites Limerick About ISIS; Video Goes Viral with Tens of Shares!
Attachments:

If the US gets attacked, it would be ironic if Obama blamed Mike's video.

Gone viral, like Ebola. I'm bleeding out of my ears and ass after listening to that shit.

I remember when LeeLee Sobieski read her 9/11 poem on The Tonight Show. It was pretty much the beginning of the end of her career as a top-billed actress. Maybe this poem will have the same effect on Mike.

Shrekk Spewakk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Today's Headline:
>
> Has-Been Podcaster Recites Limerick About ISIS;
> Video Goes Viral with Tens of Shares!


That's more of an outbreak than Chipotle's latest E. coli one. That's good, right?

Mike is giving a sermon in church Sunday?

Will he include a pitch for bonus subs?

At least the older congregation will get the Jack Cassidy references. He may have to explain ESSADEE though.

Terrorism don't scare me,
terrorists can ESSADEE!

Poetry Fact Checker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Isn't Mike giving a speech at church this weekend?
> I bet he reads an edited version of his poem,
> which seems to be the unholy spawn of Man from
> Nantucket and 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.

Perfect description.

Mike - "Do you know what Harrison Ford's first movie was? Well, maybe not his first but one of his first ones."

Robbb - "American Graffiti"

Mike - "No, Apocalypse Now"

Close, American Graffiti came out in 1973 and Apocalypse Now came out in 1979. Oh, and it was Harrison Ford's 13th movie and he had appeared in 10 TV series before that.

You know damned well Robbb knew that and just didn't call him on it.

Gee, so Mike was talking out of his ass? That's weird...he usually waits until all the facts are in...

Yeah I heard that and was like "wait, what?" The American Graffiti thing is in the category of "trivia a lot of normal people know". I bet he also thinks Apocalypse Now was Charlie Sheen's first movie.

I guess it's easy to overlook Harrison's minor role in that b-movie called "Star Wars" two years before Apocalypse Now came out. You know, one of the highest grossing movies of all time that made Harrison Ford a household name?

Mike probably thinks Zardoz is Sean Connery's first movie.

Goddam it! Charlie Sheen was an extra in Apocalypse Now, but his appearance was cut. It's my golf score all over again. I feel a PAP attack coming on.

On this week's bonus hour -

Charlie vignette involving moving the first Taco Bell restaurant.

Play the Ernie Anderson tape where he swears a lot. Again. This is because they mentioned Paul Thomas Anderson. Mike acts like this is the first time they ever played it.

Guessing songs. "Layla! Eric Clapton! . . . Is it about a woman?" -Mike

Mike makes some kind of comment suggesting he relates to a musician wanting to sleep with his (ex?) wife.

Robb says the subject of Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" was also the subject of a Toto song. Oscar and Mike simultaneously ask if she's African.

Mike declared the Foo Fighters to be better marketers than musicians, without a large body of hits. Everyone disagrees. I thought Mike was a Dave Grohl fan? Mike resolves to become a fan.

Note - If you like Mike talking up records, then this is your episode.

Robb's laugh at 58:45 is something else.

Sixty minutes and nine seconds.

Back in the D&M days, Mike used to talk of his buddies, especially his golfing buddies. Now he admits to having no friends. He even has to tap Oscar and Robb to be godfathers to his son. What happened to all his old buddies?

Well, I could run around in circles for yeeeeeeee....

Nobody likes Mike anymore. He's an asshole.

It's probably easier to be the life of the party when you are somewhat famous, throwing cash everywhere, and have your own failing bar. When you take those three things away and are left with a bitter old man with a weird family situation, it's probably harder to make friends.

if peek were completely honest, he'd say he kinda likes him.

When it comes to talking up records Fuckwaddle is king of the do-overs. Kinda the point of talking up the record, Chief.

Officer Meg, as mentioned on the show no longer friends, Officer Jerky, David somebody shot in the ass in NYC at 4 am in totally not a drug or sex buy, no longer mentioned on the show. Jimmy Cerrito still a pal. The whole moving to Florida/Maine looks like a calculated strategy to pare down the social circle, but we know he doesn't calculate. And really, who wants to go to a house with a baby? They all have a smell.

So he's going to some event with a listener, they're still planning a "listener get-together" in New Orleans" and pretty confident that everyone will forget about the weight-loss contest.

Hard to imagine they're renting out the Maine House in the off-season but it's a lock he's still paying for TV and internet up there.

Mike O'Meara is a mystery wrapped in an enigma jammed into a fat tub of goo.

Know who else was a better marketer than a musician? Buddy Rich, that's who.

Know who's a worse marketer than musician? Mike O'Meara, that's who.

I love how Mike makes it seem like it was HIS choice to forgo friends in order to concentrate on his latest family.

Right.

His retirement complex is probably full of successful retirees in their 60s and 70s. You know how much Mike hates successful people. Besides, when he and Mike Jr are tooling around the complex in the golf cart, I'm sure the residents there either pay too little or too much attention to Mikey. Entitled humps who worked 40 years for everything they've got!

I take it LFF is drinking CH Wine because they deliver to his door and he doesn't have to exert any effort to go down to the liquor store. I've never had it and it's probably a decent bottle of wine. But if you drink wine every night and have a fixed income, there are plenty of less expensive options. There are actually several good boxed wines (since Mike has no friends to impress with fancy bottles). A box of wine has three or four bottles worth of wine for about the same price as one bottle. And it has an air tight valve so you won't feel compelled to drink it all right away to avoid it going bad. Of course, that won't stop Mike.

If I recall correctly, the move to Florida was to get away from all the drinky drink.

My name is Mike OMeara.

As a successful podcaster, I can honestly say I make thousands of dollars a year

As a successful author, I can honestly say I've sold hundreds of books

As a successful poet, I can honestly say my poetry has been shared dozens of times on Facebook

Boneus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> On this week's bonus hour -
> Charlie vignette involving moving the first Taco Bell restaurant.

> Note - If you like Mike talking up records, then
> this is your episode.



Oh. My. God.

Their strategy sessions are clearly:

Mike: "Let's drive the same shit into the ground for years and never do anything successful no matter what."

The Guys: "Okay."


Wait, that just can't be true..it's got to be a farce, right?
This podcast has got to be some experiment to see how long they can pass off purposely shitty stuff, right?
On their last show they'll finally own up to it and say, "Gotcha!"

Mike is committed to quality content. As long as it doesn't...

- Take more than an hour a day to produce
- Involve any extra effort from him
- Result in his opinion, motive, skills or lifestyle being questioned in any way

It's like we're in the same room! ^^^

Mike left his Northern Virginia friends to focus on his family.

Mike left the radio industry to focus on podcasting.

Mike left his Geronimo-derived wealth in casinos throughout the country to focus on his poverty.

Mike will never leave Robb so he can focus on being superior to at least one person on this planet.

He is undefeated in Harrison Ford trivia.

According to Mike, one of Harrison Ford's earliest roles was for Apocalypse Now! A role he appeared in 13 years after his first movie role and two years after he became a household name. Mike also never heard of Moxie, the official soft drink of Maine, and thinks Guinness has the same ABV as Scotch.

Harryson Fjord Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> According to Mike, one of Harrison Ford's earliest
> roles was for Apocalypse Now! A role he appeared
> in 13 years after his first movie role and two
> years after he became a household name. Mike also
> never heard of Moxie, the official soft drink of
> Maine, and thinks Guinness has the same ABV as
> Scotch.


And it's all been verified as true because trivia master Blobblehead dosen't disagree.

Harryson Fjord Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> According to Mike, one of Harrison Ford's earliest
> roles was for Apocalypse Now! A role he appeared
> in 13 years after his first movie role and two
> years after he became a household name. Mike also
> never heard of Moxie, the official soft drink of
> Maine, and thinks Guinness has the same ABV as
> Scotch.

Mike also thinks climbing to stand in the bed of a pick-up does nothing to improve your view of the space shuttle. Ironic from a man who tried to climb up on the base of a street light to get a better view of Obama at his inauguration,

There once was a fat man named Mike

Who straddled a scoot not a bike

He sent many lobsters to slaughter

And Jose MBA in his Mexican way

Eventually banged both his daughters.

9NCNm Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There once was a fat man named Mike
>
> Who straddled a scoot not a bike
>
> He sent many lobsters to slaughter
>
> And Jose MBA in his Mexican way
>
> Eventually banged both his daughters.


eventually? I'd assume he already had them both...at once

By the way, I know that's a crap poem, it doesn't scan right and doesn't follow the form. Almost like I didn't put any effort into it...imagine that.

Did Mike have a few drinky-drinks and feel bad about bitching out his listeners for not buying the bonus shows, or did Oscar call him up and ream him out for being so negative about it?
Attachments:

His post makes me Irish misty.

Thanking people who are "having fun promoting our bonus shows" is beyond lame. That should be a mass email, not a FB post.

Drinky drink, is there anything you cannot do?

I must pound softly on my desk after reading that.

^^^^^^^

That's a pretty shitty poem, it doesn't even rhyme. ...

Can't make up this stuff.
Attachments:

Lemmings gonna Lemm...
Attachments:

If LFF is shooting for King of the Sewer Dwellers, I think he has hit his mark. You go Mike. Your core audience of ~2000 or so (being generous) P1 listeners has to buy your $70 show when they get their taxes back or as a christmas gift. You should lobby to get TMOS covered by food stamps, you would rake in the dough.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/23/2015 01:23AM by Four Hour Club.

I'm guessing Jerry Morris is actually Mike. Like on his golf balls, he spells out "dot." Read that entire message; Mike either broke or drunkenly misplaced his "period key."

Joe Parsons is about as witty as Robb. My guess is the name belongs to some obscure character from some 1940's Charlie Chan movie.

At first I thought the klubber site was a loser honeypot set up by grifters and scam artists looking for rubes. Then I realized you can't grift someone who is "waiting to get their taxes back." It's not worth the effort when the con nets you a couple of food stamps.

Maybe it's phase one of some secret government program to cull the herd and raise the national average IQ. A national moron registry. Granted, it's not a large number of Americans now, but if Mike's poem goes viral, the number of imbeciles could go up dramatically.

Or maybe Planned Parenthood is expanding its business to include adult body parts. How much do cold dead ears go for?

TMOS is an "escape from the mundane?" In what parallel universe is giving a play-by-play account of your doctor visits in Florida not considered mundane??

Yes, Stephen Meyer, "you can put a price on the level of [TMOS] commitment..." but it ain't $70 per listener per year.

Loser Conspiracy Nut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm guessing Jerry Morris is actually Mike. Like
> on his golf balls, he spells out "dot." Read that
> entire message; Mike either broke or drunkenly
> misplaced his "period key."
>
> Joe Parsons is about as witty as Robb. My guess is
> the name belongs to some obscure character from
> some 1940's Charlie Chan movie.
>
> At first I thought the klubber site was a loser
> honeypot set up by grifters and scam artists
> looking for rubes. Then I realized you can't grift
> someone who is "waiting to get their taxes back."
> It's not worth the effort when the con nets you a
> couple of food stamps.
>
> Maybe it's phase one of some secret government
> program to cull the herd and raise the national
> average IQ. A national moron registry. Granted,
> it's not a large number of Americans now, but if
> Mike's poem goes viral, the number of imbeciles
> could go up dramatically.
>
> Or maybe Planned Parenthood is expanding its
> business to include adult body parts. How much do
> cold dead ears go for?


niiiiiiice

TMOS is .... something Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes, Stephen Meyer, "you can put a price on the
> level of [TMOS] commitment..." but it ain't $70
> per listener per year.


his post is as bad as TMOS copy

How sad are the klubber's lives if TMOS is their daily highlight?

What is Headdddd's family going to do for medical insurance now? Not sure what a family of 4 is under ACA, but likely exceeds what a dog walker makes.

This might be a Hall of Fame episode. Oscar is gone, so Mike and Robb get back to some old tricks.

http://mikeomearashow.com/2015/11/1414-santas-bony-ass/

Credit where it's due, the Marion Barry impression was pretty damn funny and good throw-back to when D&M was the highlight of my afternoon. After it was over I gave the show a chance, couldn't handle it past 5 minutes of Roob's intolerable toadie ass kissing and I bailed.

It has been 0 days since LFF yelled at Spewakk for being lazy or doing something stupid

The rules are back up for the "pivoted" contest. Still the same crap (way, shape or form). No purchase is necessary, but nothing about winners being chosen at random. Still, email Pony Boy and ask for your free entry. Still looks illegal as fuck, especially since no mention of location of eligibility. Anyone from Canada or the UK?

http://mikeomearashow.com/amazon-mvp/

Are you ready to become a TMOS MVP?

All you have to do is purchase a TMOS Yearly Bonus Show Package for a chance to win!

Our MVP winners will be featured on the show and on our Facebook page AND win a $250 Amazon gift card!


This contest is the sole property of The Mike O’Meara Show and in no way, shape or form endorsed, supported or approved by Amazon.com or any of it’s affiliate companies. Amazon and its affiliate companies are not responsible for the creation, execution or outcome of this contest. Neither Amazon nor it’s affiliate companies are responsible for providing rewards or compensation to participants. No purchase is necessary to enter and all contestants must be 18 years or older to apply. Winners will be chosen and awarded at the sole discretion of The Mike O’Meara Show. The Mike O’Meara Show reserves the right to alter the rules or structure of the contest at any time. By entering the contest, you consent to the use of your name and image by The Mike O’Meara Show for promotional purposes without compensation.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/23/2015 01:22PM by Four Hour Club.
Attachments:

Happy Monday My Beautiful White Round Bouncy Brunette Delicious Sweet Babies Obsessing Over Other Men's Lives And Wives. .

Short Work Weeks Are So Dreamy, Just Like Kappy's Perfect Heart Shaped Ass

SAY LA VEE. 2015

"it's"

BOaD ran a similar contest last year

Mr Thickness Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Happy Monday My Beautiful White Round Bouncy
> Brunette Delicious Sweet Babies Obsessing Over
> Other Men's Lives And Wives. .
>
> Short Work Weeks Are So Dreamy, Just Like Kappy's
> Perfect Heart Shaped Ass
>
> SAY LA VEE. 2015

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/fbh/5328597655.html

Freshly posted job you're qualified for right there in your city Robb, jump on it! If you want I'll help you put together an extensive resume of your qualifications, should only take 2 or 3 minutes.

I used to get bonus. I was one of the first.

Mike's BS canceled that.

But, If I did, or if I was a poor Klubber, I would buy every other year. You get all the old ones. Wait a year and get 50% off.

We can just lie about the part where applicants must have a good work ethic.

"Today's show is a service of our Amazon page." What does that even mean? Your Amazon page produces the show? Shouldn't it be: "Today's show is a service of the whims and poor taste of a bored heiress with more money than sense?"

Oh wow! They'll put on their Facebook page? How exciting!

Field of dreams: O'Meara thinks "meh" the gayest word in the universe, is a real word.

Audio vault: Fucking Fat Loser thinks any musical performance is improved by making throat noises over it. Shut the fuck up, Fuckwaddle.

Aside from the Marion Berry opener, what was the show about?

What kind of retard makes it to his early 20s without listening to country music?

Oscar's Mucus Plug of Death Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Aside from the Marion Berry opener, what was the
> show about?

Half way through, couldn't tell ya

Well, Oscar doesn't catch meaning of Mike and Carla's new "our song," understandable on first listen, but neither does Mike, who heard it and played it when it was a hit and also heard it again recently with Carla...

today's show is, yes Mike, meh.
Attachments:

peekza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 676...Semper Family


BAZILLY X 2...

Who wouldn't love a Jeff Smoker or 2 from those hotties...

Dime pieces...

You donks just don't know the real skinny...

Well, I finally listened to the Santa visit episode. The royal family shows up at the Bass Pro Shop and immediately ridicules the greeter for asking if they need any assistance. The greeter gave them bad directions (according to Mike, at least), which had Robb howling with laughter.

After that zany encounter, the family finds Santa's Workshop, which, of course, doesn't live up to expectations.

15 minutes prior to Santa's arrival, only one child was ahead of Mikey, so Mike is feeling good about that.

Then, a minute before the visit starts, a "tour bus" arrives with mothers and toddlers! Robb gasps in amazement. This mother/grandmother combo (Lard Ass 1 and Lard Ass 2, respectively) immediately takes their kids to to the actual beginning of the line (shocker, Mike was in the wrong place). The O'Meara family has dropped from second to third place in line! Robb laments, "Awwwww!"

Upon further questioning, the busload of toddlers was revised to 11 toddlers, then to four, and finally, to a 10-yr-old, a 6-yr-old, and a 7-month-old. So Mike is bitching that Mikey has to wait for three kids (I'm including the kid in first place)to converse with Santa first.

Mike holds the family's place in line so Mikey and Carla can keep playing with the shop's toys. He implies that the other people in line are extras from Deliverance. Then, when Carla finally joins Mike, a 9-yr-old girl remarks that Carla is cutting the line. Fortunately it's the holidays, so Carla refrains from getting into a catfight with a girl that is simply anxious to see Santa. Serenity Now!

Mike becomes pissed because the family ahead of them wants their pictures taken with Santa (which they paid for), and one of the kids wants to talk to Santa for a minute. Mike is not concerned about himself; it's all the people behind him in line that he's fighting for. Which consists of two other families. Mike O'Meara: champion of the Bass Pro Shop downtrodden.

Mike finishes by saying that any of Mikey's future trips to the shop will be handled by Carla. Father of the year. Taking his kid to a lame Santa, because Mike doesn't have the time to take Mikey to a place that might draw crowds of children.

Merry Christmas to one and all!

In the news, Mike and Robb both jump on Subway Jared for getting a light sentence of 15 years. Jared was 38 or younger when he had sex with a 16-yr-old. What was the age difference when Mike started nailing Carla? I think someone dodged a bullet.

In other news, Amy Schumer made an ass of herself at a gym because she forgot her membership card. Mike sides with her because...? If it were Will Ferrell, Mike would have totally believed he acted like an asshole. Robb agrees with Mike, because Amy is funny.

In the Audio Vault, Robb plays a video (of course) that was a hoax, made with the hope of going viral. Robb feels complicit, like he's contributing to the video going viral by playing it in the Audio Vault. TMOS: where viral videos are strangled by their own umbilical cords.

Any transparency on the broadcast schedule this week? I can't believe they're planning a full week of shows with the fat guys high holiday coming up.

Patton Oswalt is coming in studio Wednesday, I assume it'll be "Best" of Thursday and Friday, but I don't think they've announced it. Wouldn't want to upset all the "advertisers".

If there's anything that Mike enjoys, it's a two segment guessing game in which no one has a chance at winning.

Why would anyone guess Don Williams in 10 questions?

Four Hour Club Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Patton Oswalt is coming in studio Wednesday, I
> assume it'll be "Best" of Thursday and Friday, but
> I don't think they've announced it. Wouldn't want
> to upset all the "advertisers".

I'm looking forward to Wednesday's fantastic mailbag, a hilarious News segment, and the always winning audio vault.

Patton might be OK, too, as long as he doesn't get in the way of the funny.

Oscar's Mucus Plug of Death Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Field of dreams: O'Meara thinks "meh" the gayest
> word in the universe, is a real word.
>
> Audio vault: Fucking Fat Loser thinks any musical
> performance is improved by making throat noises
> over it. Shut the fuck up, Fuckwaddle.
>
> Aside from the Marion Berry opener, what was the
> show about?
>
> What kind of retard makes it to his early 20s
> without listening to country music?

the first segment and a half consisted of the Krew trying to guess which song Mike liked, even though Mike can't answer half the questions correctly

Friday Highlights Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well, I finally listened to the Santa visit
> episode. The royal family shows up at the Bass Pro
> Shop and immediately ridicules the greeter for
> asking if they need any assistance. The greeter
> gave them bad directions (according to Mike, at
> least), which had Robb howling with laughter.
>
> After that zany encounter, the family finds
> Santa's Workshop, which, of course, doesn't live
> up to expectations.
>
> 15 minutes prior to Santa's arrival, only one
> child was ahead of Mikey, so Mike is feeling good
> about that.
>
> Then, a minute before the visit starts, a "tour
> bus" arrives with mothers and toddlers! Robb gasps
> in amazement. This mother/grandmother combo (Lard
> Ass 1 and Lard Ass 2, respectively) immediately
> takes their kids to to the actual beginning of the
> line (shocker, Mike was in the wrong place). The
> O'Meara family has dropped from second to third
> place in line! Robb laments, "Awwwww!"
>
> Upon further questioning, the busload of toddlers
> was revised to 11 toddlers, then to four, and
> finally, to a 10-yr-old, a 6-yr-old, and a
> 7-month-old. So Mike is bitching that Mikey has to
> wait for three kids (I'm including the kid in
> first place)to converse with Santa first.
>
> Mike holds the family's place in line so Mikey and
> Carla can keep playing with the shop's toys. He
> implies that the other people in line are extras
> from Deliverance. Then, when Carla finally joins
> Mike, a 9-yr-old girl remarks that Carla is
> cutting the line. Fortunately it's the holidays,
> so Carla refrains from getting into a catfight
> with a girl that is simply anxious to see Santa.
> Serenity Now!
>
> Mike becomes pissed because the family ahead of
> them wants their pictures taken with Santa (which
> they paid for), and one of the kids wants to talk
> to Santa for a minute. Mike is not concerned about
> himself; it's all the people behind him in line
> that he's fighting for. Which consists of two
> other families. Mike O'Meara: champion of the Bass
> Pro Shop downtrodden.
>
> Mike finishes by saying that any of Mikey's future
> trips to the shop will be handled by Carla.
> Father of the year. Taking his kid to a lame
> Santa, because Mike doesn't have the time to take
> Mikey to a place that might draw crowds of
> children.
>
> Merry Christmas to one and all!
>
> In the news, Mike and Robb both jump on Subway
> Jared for getting a light sentence of 15 years.
> Jared was 38 or younger when he had sex with a
> 16-yr-old. What was the age difference when Mike
> started nailing Carla? I think someone dodged a
> bullet.
>
> In other news, Amy Schumer made an ass of herself
> at a gym because she forgot her membership card.
> Mike sides with her because...? If it were Will
> Ferrell, Mike would have totally believed he acted
> like an asshole. Robb agrees with Mike, because
> Amy is funny.
>
> In the Audio Vault, Robb plays a video (of course)
> that was a hoax, made with the hope of going
> viral. Robb feels complicit, like he's
> contributing to the video going viral by playing
> it in the Audio Vault. TMOS: where viral videos
> are strangled by their own umbilical cords.


the Lord's Work

Wait? Not! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Four Hour Club Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Patton Oswalt is coming in studio Wednesday, I
> > assume it'll be "Best" of Thursday and Friday,
> but
> > I don't think they've announced it. Wouldn't
> want
> > to upset all the "advertisers".
>
> I'm looking forward to Wednesday's fantastic
> mailbag, a hilarious News segment, and the always
> winning audio vault.
>
> Patton might be OK, too, as long as he doesn't get
> in the way of the funny.


chance they talk up records and Robb has stacked his deck...again

Boneus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If there's anything that Mike enjoys, it's a two
> segment guessing game in which no one has a chance
> at winning.
>
> Why would anyone guess Don Williams in 10
> questions?


show prep!

No purchase indeed.
Attachments:

my name goes here Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Credit where it's due, the Marion Barry impression
> was pretty damn funny and good throw-back to when
> D&M was the highlight of my afternoon. After it
> was over I gave the show a chance, couldn't handle
> it past 5 minutes of Roob's intolerable toadie ass
> kissing and I bailed.


You were right to bail. Mike and Carla had picked a song to be "their song" and Mike made Oscar and Robb spend about fifteen minutes trying to guess what it was. (Answer: "I believe in Love," by Don Williams circa 1980).

Then Mike told some depressing story about his mother calling him to update her future funeral arrangements. Now that's entertainment!

Four Hour Club Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No purchase indeed.

Total crap. Write back and cc oscar, quote the fine print, and tell them you want confirmation you were entered into the contest.

If they push back, let them know the FTC will hear about it, as well as iTunes.

I think a few of us should do the same, until they realize they have nix this contest as well.

"Executive Producer"????

OF WHAT?

Mira Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Four Hour Club Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > No purchase indeed.
>
> Total crap. Write back and cc oscar, quote the
> fine print, and tell them you want confirmation
> you were entered into the contest.
>
> If they push back, let them know the FTC will hear
> about it, as well as iTunes.
>
> I think a few of us should do the same, until they
> realize they have nix this contest as well.

I'm all over that motherfucker. Like-minded folk shouldn't hesitate to join in. Don't forget to cc Amazon.

And by the way, Mike YOU STUPID FUCKING RETARD "Our song" isn't something you choose, it's something that happens, usually tied to a real life event.

In other news, Oscar's papa is realistic about his life expectancy. Guess what, Spic - mortality tables are the primary instrument for calculating the TIME VALUE OF MONEY.

Lady Baltimore Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------


>
> Then Mike told some depressing story about his
> mother calling him to update her future funeral
> arrangements. Now that's entertainment

How about a discussion of Mike's funeral arrangements?

NOW I'm laughing.

Mort Ician Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Lady Baltimore Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
>
> >
> > Then Mike told some depressing story about his
> > mother calling him to update her future funeral
> > arrangements. Now that's entertainment
>
> How about a discussion of Mike's funeral
> arrangements?
>
> NOW I'm laughing.


they'll need a piano crate

Lady Baltimore Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> my name goes here Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Credit where it's due, the Marion Barry
> impression
> > was pretty damn funny and good throw-back to
> when
> > D&M was the highlight of my afternoon. After it
> > was over I gave the show a chance, couldn't
> handle
> > it past 5 minutes of Roob's intolerable toadie
> ass
> > kissing and I bailed.
>
>
> You were right to bail. Mike and Carla had picked
> a song to be "their song" and Mike made Oscar and
> Robb spend about fifteen minutes trying to guess
> what it was. (Answer: "I believe in Love," by Don
> Williams circa 1980).
>
> Then Mike told some depressing story about his
> mother calling him to update her future funeral
> arrangements. Now that's entertainment!


I was begging for a political rant