IBS has been linked to low iodine levels.

American diets tend to be lower in iodine than other countries. Our farmland isn't fertilized with iodine rich fertilizer, hence our meat, dairy and vegetables are lacking and few American regularly each fish, crustaceans and seaweed/sea vegetables. Asking your doctors to check your iodine levels for deficiencies may help or just start taking iodine supplements (avoid using table salt as the supplement since it's been linked to cardiovascular disorders).

Not food per se, but drinking four cans of Doubleshots in ten minutes tends to disrupt the bowels.

IodineIsANecessaryNutrient Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> IBS has been linked to low iodine levels.
>
> American diets tend to be lower in iodine than
> other countries. Our farmland isn't fertilized
> with iodine rich fertilizer, hence our meat, dairy
> and vegetables are lacking and few American
> regularly each fish, crustaceans and seaweed/sea
> vegetables. Asking your doctors to check your
> iodine levels for deficiencies may help or just
> start taking iodine supplements (avoid using table
> salt as the supplement since it's been linked to
> cardiovascular disorders).

That is excellent advice, thank you!

However, I have already explored that avenue. Alas, iodine supplementation was not my personal panacea.

You'd be hard pressed to find any possible remedy I haven't tried. Doctor recommended, experimental, ayurveda, herbs, accupuncture, folk remedies , and cures from primitive tribes.

But no fisting. Thats overkill and only a temporary respite.

Fisting, my face and bowels also, quiver at such sentiments.

Last night watching Doug Fister on the mound was painful enough. The Nats might have won, but my bathroom was a blown save.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> IodineIsANecessaryNutrient Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > IBS has been linked to low iodine levels.
> >
> > American diets tend to be lower in iodine than
> > other countries. Our farmland isn't fertilized
> > with iodine rich fertilizer, hence our meat,
> dairy
> > and vegetables are lacking and few American
> > regularly each fish, crustaceans and
> seaweed/sea
> > vegetables. Asking your doctors to check your
> > iodine levels for deficiencies may help or just
> > start taking iodine supplements (avoid using
> table
> > salt as the supplement since it's been linked
> to
> > cardiovascular disorders).
>
> That is excellent advice, thank you!
>
> However, I have already explored that avenue.
> Alas, iodine supplementation was not my personal
> panacea.
>
> You'd be hard pressed to find any possible remedy
> I haven't tried. Doctor recommended, experimental,
> ayurveda, herbs, accupuncture, folk remedies , and
> cures from primitive tribes.
>
> But no fisting. Thats overkill and only a
> temporary respite.


To even allude to such deviant activities, shows a profound lack of maturity on your part.

Iodine has no relevance from a medical stand point.

Thank you for the information doctor, but your attitude is something out of the middle ages.

Speaking of which, I'm guessing most knights had exceptional bowels.

This morning I passed yet another boulder. Screaming could not be contained, as my fudge tunnel got quite the workout.

That one is going to leave a mark.

Well that was not fun.

I decided to go to another GI. These doctors must all be cruel, sadistic animals.

No I don't care about RG 3 while you are jamming a metal contraption, up my interior as if you are drilling for oil.

Feeling like a bedouin today.

Apparently another escape from Woodburn

Today I told my Ano-Recto specialist that I'm not going to be seeing him anymore.

Honestly, if I'm to put up with his sadism, I'd at least want to see some positive results in the porcelin and tile testing grounds.

From all the exploring he's done , I would have expected my ass to be a cover story in National Geographic by now.

zero I am Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Apparently another escape from Woodburn


It's obvious with these mental midgets.

I see that Luray Caverns is charging $18 a person to visit.

Perhaps after dropping that stalagmite, I could open my ass, along with having a gift shop. Look at this shit!

Castor oil and witch hazel are on the docket.

You'd think a day with the grand kids would make one forget their bowel woes.

I did not appreciate seeing the triceratops in colon induced pain. Laura Dern is a pretty woman, but that scene was a painful reminder.

Damn you Michael Crichton and Jurassic Park.

It's bad when the plumber asks you, "Did something die in here?"

Yes, part of my lower intestine.

Plumbers perhaps do well economically due to IBS. They tend to be more personable than the so called medical professionals.

There are other victims. My commode deserves a dear John letter.

This thread needs to fucking die!

Do you mean your anus? WTF bowels? Lol

I just missed my annual anal. The date came and went.

Now, my former Ano-Recto specialist calls my home.

He says "look, I think I can still help you, come on in for a Proctoscope", but I've had it, I've heard all this before.

A lifetime of failed treatments, scores of wide, long instruments inserted painfully , time and time again. Cold thumbs and haughty attitudes.

Know what I'm saving by not going? Co-payments from hell. Medications with horrible side effects not fully covered by insurence.
Not to mention a doctor with the bedside manner of Vlad the Impaler.

I went to the doctor faithfully for years.Every four days or so, I pass a stool so large that its very evacuation defies all logic. Kind of like an elephant shit coming out of a sparrows ass.

But guess what? The same things happen when I don't go to the doctor, so whats the point?

I agree with what BEH posted, because while doctors might have good information, their beefy twinkie fingers, and cold demeanor just make things worse. Perhaps looking at assholes all day, turns these doctors into that.

It's not fun having those fingers or what I consider a torture device up my rectum, while hearing the doctor talk about his Redskins season tickets in the luxury box.

This is more proof of his sadistic like behaviors, and the bowel movements I've had after visits are even more unpleasant.

I wish my bowels could get a pardon from the President, or at least a key to the county.

Bloom, I am dismayed to hear your problems persist.

I haven't visited this thread for a while and am surprised to see it has grown to 12 pages. While I am impressed by the feedback and support you are getting, I am sorry to hear so many still suffer.

Have you ever listed a typical days diet here?

Also, are you getting enough exercise? Sometimes sitting too much can screw up your digestion.

Pic unrelated.

idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM

What do you guys think about Doug Fister pitching for the Nats?

Nut,

You are an astute individual, and to have folks of intellect interested in bowel functioning is proof that the future has potential.

Thanks for being a Bowel Buddy. You are correct, exercise helps most for those fortunate to have an occasional bowel related event.

Diet is as well. Breads are avoided, and the Metamucil smoothies help a little bit.

Alas they are stop gaps. I'm now going to drop a bison like shit.

Bullshit

Speaking of bovine stools, I'm hopeful for a nice soft mound myself.

What a buffalo or a cow eliminates is entirely different from what I eventually extract.

My hooved friends void their bowels effortlessly, never stopping whatever else they're doing, or even changing their expression.

My experience differs greatly.

But tonight I'm trying something new. Its a cocktail of several items that work somewhat; maybe together I'll achieve my long awaited rectal nirvana.


8 ounces of prune juice 8 ounces of apple juice and 8 ounces of citrate of magnesium mixed with a quadruple dose of psylium husk powder.

Any time you mess with citrate of magnesium you run the risk of having a Godorsky experience, shitting your pants at the most inoppertune times.

But the psylium should bind the stool , even as it joins the C of M in drawing water from the intestines.

Wish me luck!

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> zero I am Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Apparently another escape from Woodburn
>
>
> It's obvious with these mental midgets.

You leave Tyrion Lannister alone!!!!

Supporter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anon Doc Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > zero I am Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Apparently another escape from Woodburn
> >
> >
> > It's obvious with these mental midgets.
>
> You leave Tyrion Lannister alone!!!!

Perhaps the reference was to Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf?

Ice cream was a bad choice. The lady I was with insisted on it. The taste was good. Almost as tasty as Slovakia ice cream. Yet the results were ruined underwear and the lady leaving me.

Gordo!

I thought I lost you, like part of my smaller intestine.

Welcome back, but ice cream is dairy, and that especially is notorious for bowel interference.

My guess is most being of the boulder variety, but it seems in your case the floodgates open.

A brown muddy pool, I'm sorry to hear of your woes.

All of us on the brown team can have sympathy for Gordorskys plight.

We all would like to eat ice cream,bagels, cheese, have milk in our coffee enjoy a pizza with friends.

In Gordo's case , such indulgence with result in an uncontrolable feces geyser.

Bloomy and I are more likely to get dammed up, Hoover style.

Either way , its tragic, and all for the love of some junk food.

Forbidden fruit ruined Gods relationship with human beings, but Adam and Eve could not resist.

How much more desireable is ice cream than a serpent endorsed apple?

Tis a shame there are no castor oil ice cream cones. Or perhaps breads made with Metamucil. The label for most could be "this shit works". A loaf of Metamucil bread producing a easier to maintain loaf would be helpful.

I have a feeling I might need a midwife and baby towels today, because I'm going to give birth. I wonder should I get an epidural, or at least stirrups in my bathroom.

I wish there was a food test. It's embarrassing. Now my new coworkers are calling me poopy pants. The dead flies put on my desk, rolls of bathroom tissue, and people gesturing there hands is tiring.

What do you think of Doug Fister as your spokesman

Bunch o old white guys bitching like the golden girls.

The armchair quarterback type of commentary, along with the fisting references are flat out ridiculous.

Gordo is suffering, and considering he's actually trying to remain gainfully employed, should not be harassed but respected.

All of us occasionally suffer, but some of our plumbing apparatus has let us down.

Would it be so comical if we were describing some horrifying sex transmitted disease or a tumor in one's pituitary gland?

I think not. Brown power!

I must say that was unlike the dinosaur poop in Jurassic Park.

Prune juice and dried apricots for the win!

My bowels are breathing a sigh of relief.

Once again no giving birth.

The last couple days have been tear free so far, but I'm just chalking it up to luck so far.

Other times I got excited, only to have my bowels let me down like Bill Clinton did to Hillary.

Beh or anyone else, do you know of any extra strong toilets available for those of us with IBS. I don't want to check the plumbing, and have a Lusitania disaster awaiting.

I am not looking forward to visiting the glorified plumber with a fancy degree at 9.

It gets old hearing him muse about RG3 or the Redskins playoff chances, when his cold finger is in my defective rectum.

He probably wishes he was a real doctor. They work for the Redskins and other NFL teams, but work in fields where having a brain and communication skills are needed.

You are still whining about IBS?

I'd trade for that. Want incontinence instead?

Mr Brown Underwear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You are still whining about IBS?
>
> I'd trade for that. Want incontinence instead?


Incontinence is a difficult condition to live with, but I commend you for showing these obtuse folks the reality of their situations.

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mr Brown Underwear Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > You are still whining about IBS?
> >
> > I'd trade for that. Want incontinence instead?
>
>
> Incontinence is a difficult condition to live
> with, but I commend you for showing these obtuse
> folks the reality of their situations.


Ok, so now we know you wear depends undies if you support incontinence. What diff what hole it leaks out of?

Tell me, is incontinence a mental issue as well?

Btw, my toe hurts. What's wrong with it?

Supporter, don't ask Anon Doc for advice.

Very obviously, he is a quack.

More than likely he went to medical school in a banana republic ,and is probably currently under board review or suspension.

Along the lines of my former Ano-Recto specialist.

Supporter I think you are well intentioned, but it would behoove you, to look up some of the write ups here.

User Blooming Onion and BEH are immature juveniles, who do have psychiatric issues along with delusiono of grandeur.

Gordon has failed to follow my pertinent instructions, and if you read again my commentary about incontinence, you can see that I am clearly commending this user, for showing these juvenile romper room material comedians.

Nothing is funny about IBS, and these users are doing a disservice for both those seeking treatment and research being conducted at Chapel Hill.

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Supporter I think you are well intentioned, but
> it would behoove you, to look up some of the write
> ups here.
>
> User Blooming Onion and BEH are immature
> juveniles, who do have psychiatric issues along
> with delusiono of grandeur.
>
> Gordon has failed to follow my pertinent
> instructions, and if you read again my commentary
> about incontinence, you can see that I am clearly
> commending this user, for showing these juvenile
> romper room material comedians.
>
> Nothing is funny about IBS, and these users are
> doing a disservice for both those seeking
> treatment and research being conducted at Chapel
> Hill.


doc, I have read every post here, thank you very much. While I will admit some of the posts are a bit 'much,' they do make me laugh. It's good they have a sense of humor in their misery.

That being said, yes, you gave your advice to Gordo. Gordo, I'm sure, has read and not taken your advice. THAT IS HIS DECISION. There is no need to badger him (and others) if they decide not to. Your suggestions were listened to (the first one, not the proceeding 24,424). Just stop already.

If no one wishes to take your advice, LEAVE IT ALONE, will you? Stop being so condescending.

Incontinence, IBS....what difference does it make what hole it comes out of??? They are both still problems for suffers. And with you commending the incontinence poster, are belittled the IBS sufferers.

And do you realize Chapel Hill is in Raleigh/Durham, NC?

j.....who REALLY is an idiot for even trying to knock sense into your head!

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Supporter I think you are well intentioned, but
> it would behoove you, to look up some of the write
> ups here.
>
> User Blooming Onion and BEH are immature
> juveniles, who do have psychiatric issues along
> with delusiono of grandeur.
>
> Gordon has failed to follow my pertinent
> instructions, and if you read again my commentary
> about incontinence, you can see that I am clearly
> commending this user, for showing these juvenile
> romper room material comedians.
>
> Nothing is funny about IBS, and these users are
> doing a disservice for both those seeking
> treatment and research being conducted at Chapel
> Hill.


On a side note, go behoove yourself!

Anon Doc mentions the research at Chapel Hill that amounts to about nothing.

Most of the research resources are still going to the high profile diseases, the IBS studies get only a token amount of funds.

Studying hamster diarrhea isn't doing much to find a cure for IBS, only lining the pockets of greedy researchers.

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anon Doc mentions the research at Chapel Hill that
> amounts to about nothing.
>
> Most of the research resources are still going to
> the high profile diseases, the IBS studies get
> only a token amount of funds.
>
> Studying hamster diarrhea isn't doing much to find
> a cure for IBS, only lining the pockets of greedy
> researchers.

That's very true, beh. And to be honest, ibs is fairly new in the research dept. I am dealing with psoriatic arthritis, which is also fairly new. There is only treatment, which doesn't clear it up 100%. And it is auto-immune, not diet related.

For ibs, it is diet control. For P.A. it is not. But docs want to blame mental status. Bull shit!

I am sick to death of everyone blaming everythng on that. It is more behavior control, NOT amental issue.

That's why I get so defensive here....ok.I going back to bed! Lol

Yes what you guys have sucks but my rear end constantly leaks. Want to trade? I've got diapers galore.

Brown you are part of the brown brigade, the brown shirts, the bowel trodden.

Our conditions are different but our assholes have failed us regardless.

I'm off to drop a Ford Mustang through a water hose, but let's focus instead of division.

That was the equivalent of Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. No Marshall Plan could help there. If a toilet could talk, mine would scream about the sulfuric chemical weapons, and bring in Hans Blix to do a UN inspection.

The pipes in my house would holler. Ultimately this is where my basketball sized turds start their journey.

The grandkids need to stop complaining about the odor, and just watch Sponge Bob.

You guys are fucked up.

Have you tried fisting?

Shoving a shovel up there?

Oh, we've been all though the fisting, and object insertion tips.

This is the first time someone mentioned a shovel.


Other suggestions include beans, various vegetables and fruits, juices, herbal concoctions, brews, elixers and potions.

I don't know how much you know about IBS.

Imagine you're at work, shopping, hanging with friends, or even involved in some intimacy.

Suddenly it feels like an entire dumptruck filled with hot tar is in your bowels , and the only thing holding back that steamy ton of boiling feces is your little bitty Schphinkter.

If you're not really quick with the drop of the trough, or more than three steps away from a suitable receptacle, the way people regard you will be altered forever.

Imagine the shame, the remorse. The ridicule.

IBS suffers receive no pity, no understanding, no tolerance.

Even our health care providers scorn us. Just wait for the next post from Anon Doc, the forums own personal physican, representing all the snideness and insensitive sarcasm we endure from those who are supposed to be here to help us.

Research? The foundation is grossly underfunded, and just like we get the bottom of the MD ladder, the researchers are equally underqualified and unmotivated.

Inducing diarrhea into hamsters doesn't seem to be accomplishing much.

Besides, my IBS woe is totally on the other end of the scale.

Imagine pushing a cinderblock through the eye of a needle.

Welcome to our world.

It's not getting better. I thought diet change and prescription would help. Yesterday the laughter from the mechanics, and my shit smelling car was not kind. I wish I could eat anything. It might be time to find an all Slovak grocery as the American foods seem to be the problem.

Gordo, I'm sorry. It sounds like your bowels are like the Hindenburg or at the very least a Ford Pinto. I'm sad you have to endure muddy bottoms, and I think you are right, processed foods can make anyone's bowels churn.

Beh well put. Whether it's the general public, doctors or my rug rat grandchildren, people have no idea of what we face on a daily basis.

I forgot to delve into this matter earlier, but does anyone think Hillary Clinton has IBS?

She seemed greatly uncomfortable in that interview chair, and a bit irritable, almost abrasive.

If she's the next President, we might just have a Bowel Trodden ally at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

I wonder how Hillarys girlfriend feels about her stinky ass.

Beavers Fan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wonder how Hillarys girlfriend feels about her
> stinky ass.

What difference does it make?

Not in a good mood, feel a pile driver enroute.

My ass feels like Roy Munsons hand in Kingpin.

If someone said, "Hey Onion, part of your lower intestine is outside your asshole, I'd believe them.

That was the dreaded 22 pound bowling ball. I think I have more experience in giving birth to babies than women do.

Yet no cigars, flowers, balloons, or even a card.

I'm sad seeing this thread still going with more gastric issues.

A change of diet, plus more fiber made things better.

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm sad seeing this thread still going with more
> gastric issues.
>
> A change of diet, plus more fiber made things
> better.

Miscavage, if it were only that simple.

The daily recommended amout of fiber is 25 grams per 2000 calorie diet.

What would you say if I told you that even with 100 grams a day my bowels don't move.

As I feel everything seizing up down there , I think of the entire family size can of baked beans, the pitted prunes, cabbage, spinach , pureed eggplant and collard greens I'd consumed, washed down by gallons of water.

And it was all for naught.

While I'm sitting there, later, trying to eliminate this biological quagmire , I'll ponder all the well meaning (and often demeaning) advice.

Miscavage, your suggestion will be saved for when that railroad car sized stool is squeezing out of my thimble sized Schphinkter.

BEH and his write ups prove, that the village idiot has been located.

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH and his write ups prove, that the village
> idiot has been located.


Aw, Anon Doc, don't be so hard on yourself! We don't think you're the village idiot. We KNOW you are!!!

Gordo...BEH...Onion (I just can't force myself to call you 'blooming!' lol

I don't have IBS, as you know. But I'm wondering if I might be lactose intolerant after a very unladylike event last night. After eating cereal two days in a row (with 2% milk) and last night with 3 slices of cheese then my episode, then seVERE tummy cramps ... well, you know where I'm going with this. Too much dairy.

Has anyone tried lactose-free milk or cheese? If so, is it worth me trying that?

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH and his write ups prove, that the village
> idiot has been located.


Yeah, ok, so help me doc.

Oh, you can't? No, didn't think so.

Apparently you really aced the "unwarrented arrogance" part of the medical school exam.

You and my former ano-recto specialist should shove proctoscopes up each others ass while listening to Frank Sinatra and drinking champagne.

Supporter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gordo...BEH...Onion (I just can't force myself to
> call you 'blooming!' lol
>
> I don't have IBS, as you know. But I'm wondering
> if I might be lactose intolerant after a very
> unladylike event last night. After eating cereal
> two days in a row (with 2% milk) and last night
> with 3 slices of cheese then my episode, then
> seVERE tummy cramps ... well, you know where I'm
> going with this. Too much dairy.
>
> Has anyone tried lactose-free milk or cheese? If
> so, is it worth me trying that?


Supporter, sounds like a classic case of lactose intolerance.

By all means , try the lactose free products.

Whatever you do, don't go to the doctor, until the entire medical community becomes more enlightened.

You really want to trust a douchebag like Anon Doc with a barbaric instrument and your rectum?

I'm stunned that someone so obtuse and juvenile, could have an idea of who Frank Sinatra was.

You need to get off of this anti-medical "high horse," because if your doctor is not helpful, I would suggest going to another one. Your attitude and blatant disrespect for those who have studied for years, makes it quite obvious who is limited in both creativity and intellect. Do you have a high school diploma?

Supporter, I'd recommend several blood tests through your gastrointestinal specialist.

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm stunned that someone so obtuse and juvenile,
> could have an idea of who Frank Sinatra was.
>
> You need to get off of this anti-medical "high
> horse," because if your doctor is not helpful, I
> would suggest going to another one. Your attitude
> and blatant disrespect for those who have studied
> for years, makes it quite obvious who is limited
> in both creativity and intellect. Do you have a
> high school diploma?
>
> Supporter, I'd recommend several blood tests
> through your gastrointestinal specialist.


Due to the healthcare bullshit by our president and the fucked up state of Virginia (where the republicans rejected Medicaid/care for those that can't afford it just to make a point to block everything pres tried to pass), I have no health insurance.

I spend $92 a month on lab work alone for being on Humira, which is like $500 a dose taken weekly for my Psoriatic Arthritis, and thank GOD they have an assistance program so it's free; I also spend $125 every three months for follow up with Rheum; spend $60 on medication for my BP; work PT temporary barely above minimum wage because everyone is clamouring for FT work because our economy hasn't improved like we're being lied to about ... and I need a mammogram because I'm almost 50; I haven't had one in 20 years, and I can't even afford that. Not to mention $3.59 for a loaf of bread; $4 for a gallon of milk -- you get the idea.

So please forgive me if I do not heed your advice. My anger is not directed at you (in this case). The U.S. is going downhill and what used to be middle class is now lower class, on the verge of poverty. But that's another topic I don't care to get into at the moment.

And please stop with the judgemental comments to IBS sufferers, please. Our anger toward you has been instigated by you, and it will not stop until you let up on your superiority.

Have a good evening.

jeannie

Supporter you at least give me a glimmer of hope this morning, and here is to your finding out what's causing you such woes. You are an excellent bowel buddy, and while I cannot speak for others, I believe those with IBS are grateful.

The doctor has dispensed some good advice, but his attitude is sadly the norm. It doesn't matter if he's jamming a finger or probe up there, as I think he's a sadistic, lonely individual with stinky fingers.

I'm going to have a Bowel movement in a little while, and hope this isn't going to be Paul Bunyan and Babe at the same time.

If you invest in the stock market, invest in witch hazel.

No human being should have to endure that guttural pain, screams confused for porcupines copulating, or a fox with its paw caught in a snare trap.

My poor starfish, and those rugrats know to leave their grandpa alone, while toiling away in a room of sulfuric fumes. Yet they must knock on the door, as sweat pours out of numerous pores, and my forehead vein is heading towards thrombosis.

Oh my poor rear end.

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you invest in the stock market, invest in
> witch hazel.
>
> No human being should have to endure that guttural
> pain, screams confused for porcupines copulating,
> or a fox with its paw caught in a snare trap.
>
> My poor starfish, and those rugrats know to leave
> their grandpa alone, while toiling away in a room
> of sulfuric fumes. Yet they must knock on the
> door, as sweat pours out of numerous pores, and
> my forehead vein is heading towards thrombosis.
>
> Oh my poor rear end.

If you compare this with that bigot BEH ' S writing style, it's obvious who's behind this.

Critic I can assure you that while BEH and I are bowel buddies, and suffer from piano sized stools, we are two different people.

If you would be kind enough to trade bowels with us, perhaps instead of criticizing us, you'd understand what male birth is like.

Now to drop off another Anon Doc at the pool

Anyone here a venture capitalist?

With summer in session, would anyone be interested in investing in castor oil ice cream

On lunch break now. The harassment continues. I thought the new job things would change. Now my coworkers leave brown markers on my desk, fake dog crap, and toilet bowl seats at my cubicle. My boss promised it would stop but so far not at all.

Gordo,

It is unfair that you must suffer for your suffering. Whatever field you are in, the peopleare assholes, and I bet they would feel differently with a Bowel exchange.

It is unfair. Yet keep the brown up, never waver in the face of these subhumans, because you are not alone.

Today it's off to a new GI, because I got sick of having a finger up my asshole, while the doctor bantered about sports. That and his cold, less then caring demeanor. He would play fantasy football while examining my plumbing.

I hope this new doctor is a bit less sadistic, and maybe has a personality and more up to date information. Not much optimism, but let's see how this shit turns out.

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Today it's off to a new GI, because I got sick of
> having a finger up my asshole, while the doctor
> bantered about sports. That and his cold, less
> then caring demeanor. He would play fantasy
> football while examining my plumbing.
>
> I hope this new doctor is a bit less sadistic,
> and maybe has a personality and more up to date
> information. Not much optimism, but let's see
> how this shit turns out.


Hope all went well today, Onion.

Thanks supporter. Alas it was the same sort of experience as he treated my rectum, the way a union plumber would repair a leaking sink.

On a plus note the wait time wasn't so bad, and he discussed baseball and the Nats, as he prodded me with his beefy finger.

After yesterday with my face on the table, and asshole up in the air, I hope to have some results today from the medical office.

I will be getting a telephone call. Whether it's the doctor or his Annie Wilkes lookalike nurse, I'm not sure.

What I do hope is that they wash their hands. It would be a shame if their phone got e. Coli

Dumbest fucking thread! !!!!!

Black Undies Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dumbest fucking thread! !!!!!


Don't feed racist BEH

Black once you get over 50, and the AARP is knocking on your bathroom with your rugrat grandchildren, as you strain on the bowl wishin for the time to pass, you just don't understand.

Can't we all just get along, regardless of how our bowels are. Yes I'm glad you've got Lexus like bowels, while mine are certainly AMG, but just be grateful. If I was you I'd be kissing my bowels and thanking them profusely.

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> After yesterday with my face on the table, and
> asshole up in the air, I hope to have some results
> today from the medical office.
>
> I will be getting a telephone call. Whether it's
> the doctor or his Annie Wilkes lookalike nurse,
> I'm not sure.
>
> What I do hope is that they wash their hands. It
> would be a shame if their phone got e. Coli

Such ridiculous, inaccurate write ups, are responsible for a decline in preventative checks.

Men and women over age fifty, or forty if significant factors are in effect, should get a colonoscopy.

For the life of me, I am not sure why these juvenile like people, are hell bent on dissuading visits to a GI.

I wish this doc, and all those who work on assholes who are assholes, could walk a mile in our bowels.

Hoisting basketballs, strain that makes forehead veins pop out, itching, burning, sulfuric odors, and potential dirty underwear unless a shower is available isn't a walk in the park.

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Such ridiculous, inaccurate write ups, are
> responsible for a decline in preventative checks.
>
> Men and women over age fifty, or forty if
> significant factors are in effect, should get a
> colonoscopy.
>
> For the life of me, I am not sure why these
> juvenile like people, are hell bent on dissuading
> visits to a GI.


And for the life of me, I can't understand why the HELL you have to repeatedly come in here to belittle the sufferers! Why bother? Do you not have enough patients to belittle? Oh, that's right...that explains why you're here!

If you don't like a certain church, stay away.
If you don't like a gym, stay away.

If you can't get that we don't want you here...stay the fuck away!!!!!

Supporter, I think again your intentions are admirable, but offering any types of credence to these individuals is a bad idea.

In many ways it's enabling type of behavior. Do you want to prevent people from taking care of their anatomy, or make light of years of medical school and research?

The NIH, Chapel Hill, and University of California are conducting multiple studies on IBS. The vast majority of the research, concludes that most cases have a definitive psychiatric condition as a major factor.

It's up for you to decide, do you want experts in the field, or mental midgets making crude jokes along with spreading misinformation?

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Supporter, I think again your intentions are
> admirable, but offering any types of credence to
> these individuals is a bad idea.
>
> In many ways it's enabling type of behavior. Do
> you want to prevent people from taking care of
> their anatomy, or make light of years of medical
> school and research?
>
> The NIH, Chapel Hill, and University of California
> are conducting multiple studies on IBS. The vast
> majority of the research, concludes that most
> cases have a definitive psychiatric condition as a
> major factor.
>
> It's up for you to decide, do you want experts in
> the field, or mental midgets making crude jokes
> along with spreading misinformation?

So what if they use humor about THEIR issues? They are doing what they can to get treatment. Do I detect anger from you that no one listens to you?

Well, ass doc, there is a reason no one listens to you.

Have a nice 4th. Why don't you stick a roman candle up your bum and light it. Maybe then you'll understand what these guys are going thru.

Supporter my bowels are appreciative.

More later, as I try to jam a giant boulder out this morning.

I'm afraid Fairfax Water Authority is flushing the system after that one.

The blood is not HIV positive but still

I'm afraid Fairfax Water Authority is flushing the system after that one.

The blood is not HIV positive but still

Does anyone know how starches are? I'm going to a doctor this morning. I get a slip from him about work absences.

Gordo, glad you are ok.

Starches/foods loaded with them, can turn your bowels into that man eating pit from Return of the Jedi. While I cant fully understand your boeels that react differently from mine, I'd be wary of those in your diet.

Sorry your people at work are working against people like us, but you are not alone.

Okay it appears to have been resolved. Fiber shakes, excessive sweating, and crouching down with abdominal pain has resulted in the birth of an Enterprise class sized shit.

While not officially a rear admiral, after that herculean effort, I think a honorary promotion couldn't hurt.

Even a purple heart or medal of Valor would count for something.

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Okay it appears to have been resolved. Fiber
> shakes, excessive sweating, and crouching down
> with abdominal pain has resulted in the birth of
> an Enterprise class sized shit.
>
> While not officially a rear admiral, after that
> herculean effort, I think a honorary promotion
> couldn't hurt.
>
> Even a purple heart or medal of Valor would count
> for something.


You might think your posts are funny.

They are not. Lame at best.

It's not my intention to be funny, although having a sense of humor, helps keep you sane while heaving soccer balls out of your rear end.

These brown sulfuric reminders, are why you should have a pleasant disposition, unless you also have bowels that fail you on a regular basis.

Just like Dr. Von Brauns early Atlas rockets for NASA, known in pop culture in Thomas Wolfe's The Right Stuff, John Glenn and Alan Shepherd wouldn't want to deal with this shit.

Happy 4th of July, and to those lucky enough to have Mercedes grade bowels, may you enjoy the festivities without any brown fireworks.

This post is one for the community, especially for those whom contend with bowels of betrayal. First of all you are not alone. You are not the only one whom has to avoid the funnel cake, due to it leading to a seismic event or backup of sludge.

This and other foods associated with what most associate with happiness, can in fact lead to misery.

There's no one size fits all approach, but in my opinion, avoid funnel cakes, corn, beef, bread, ice cream alone. Drink water or Metamucil instead of beer.

Here's hoping the only red you experience is of the patriotic red, white, and blue variety this holiday weekend, Blooming, as opposed to whatever may end up in the bowl.

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Here's hoping the only red you experience is of
> the patriotic red, white, and blue variety this
> holiday weekend, Blooming, as opposed to whatever
> may end up in the bowl.


Stop feeding this troll deadly combo. He's bound to go away on his own, because it's BEH or one of his shit loving friends.

I hope to make it to the National Mall tonight, to watch the fireworks with my son and his rugrat children.

Let's hope there are no emergencies, and I wish even just one firework could be brown in color.

It has been years since venturing out to this. Does anyone hear know where and how many restrooms there are?

Any herbal remedies work?

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Any herbal remedies work?


Nope. I would recommend seeing a GI.