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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 02, 2014 07:03AM
No thanks as they won't help my bowels.
Last night I spent two hours on the throne, and while painful, I'm sure it's more than you accomplish daily.
I do wonder what caused my o ring to fall apart, like the one on Challenger.
Either way a sore bum.
Last night I spent two hours on the throne, and while painful, I'm sure it's more than you accomplish daily.
I do wonder what caused my o ring to fall apart, like the one on Challenger.
Either way a sore bum.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: November 02, 2014 08:01AM
I can't power wash my cars inside. It's bad enough getting the Yaris steam cleaned. I tip extra but the employees hate me.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 02, 2014 02:21PM
We need to find you an IBS friendly car wash Gordo.
Stouffers pot pie is good for watching the Skins game, but I feel my ass will look like RG3's ankle once the contents are digested.
Stouffers pot pie is good for watching the Skins game, but I feel my ass will look like RG3's ankle once the contents are digested.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 03, 2014 12:03PM
That game play decision for Stouffers was awful. Huge glacier sized globs of shit, going through my intestines before pounding my rectum from the inside.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: November 04, 2014 11:18AM
I'm leaving work. I don't like my coworkers.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 05, 2014 08:48AM
Gordo I am sorry your coworkers are insensitive. If it was cancer or diabetes, people would have your back. Yet you aren't responsible for your bowels. They've let you down, keep your head up.
My guess is Barack and the liberal democrats are feeling our pain. It wouldn't surprise me if President Obama has some problems on the White House commode. At least he has the luxury of such an address, and medical staff on standby for painful bowel movements.
My guess is Barack and the liberal democrats are feeling our pain. It wouldn't surprise me if President Obama has some problems on the White House commode. At least he has the luxury of such an address, and medical staff on standby for painful bowel movements.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 05, 2014 03:28PM
Oh yes the President' s bowels are bothering him.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 06, 2014 08:16AM
There's nothing like a good crap. Last night with a combination of laxatives and a cigarette, my bowels breathed a palpable sigh of relief.
There was no grunting, sweating, screaming and my rectum appears no worse for the wear. Never did I think I'd be so happy, yet it's time to break out the champagne.
There was no grunting, sweating, screaming and my rectum appears no worse for the wear. Never did I think I'd be so happy, yet it's time to break out the champagne.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: November 06, 2014 11:00AM
Is there anything to stop this diarrhea? It's ruining my quality of life.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 06, 2014 04:01PM
Sir Edmund Halley and his quote "because it's there", aptly described Mount Everest.
Yet the oversized basketball I just went into labor with, caused the commode to overflow.
Plumbers must love IBS.
Yet the oversized basketball I just went into labor with, caused the commode to overflow.
Plumbers must love IBS.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: November 06, 2014 04:43PM
BO and Gordo,
Have the two of you compared notes on dietary habits? Seems you're at the opposite ends (pun intended) of the defecation spectrum. Your bowels need to meet somewhere in the middle. Just a thought.
Have the two of you compared notes on dietary habits? Seems you're at the opposite ends (pun intended) of the defecation spectrum. Your bowels need to meet somewhere in the middle. Just a thought.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 07, 2014 10:23AM
I wish there was a happy medium Deadly, this morning I recommend buying stocks in witch hazel.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 07, 2014 05:26PM
I think a animal control officer is going to knock, since my neighbors think I was beating a dog.
It's going to be a shitty call for them to respond to.
It's going to be a shitty call for them to respond to.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 08, 2014 09:46AM
Remember the scene in Independence Day "look they are opening up?"
That's my rectum.
That's my rectum.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 08, 2014 08:17PM
I used to know a guy who pushed it back in.
After that one it would take Hercules and the Atlanta Falcons to hold that one up.
After that one it would take Hercules and the Atlanta Falcons to hold that one up.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 09, 2014 08:00AM
Getting geared up for football, got a tv now in the bathroom.
Nothing like the smell of testosterone and sulfur.
Nothing like the smell of testosterone and sulfur.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 10, 2014 08:00AM
A great combo is Metamucil and lots of tomatoes.
It's a guess on my part, but the acidity of this fruit plus fiber, work in conjunction to deliver a good bowel movement.
It's a guess on my part, but the acidity of this fruit plus fiber, work in conjunction to deliver a good bowel movement.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH or Northman
()
Date: November 10, 2014 10:40AM
You are both sick assholes
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Rookie
()
Date: November 10, 2014 10:54AM
Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I used to know a guy who pushed it back in.
Push what back in?
>
> After that one it would take Hercules and the
> Atlanta Falcons to hold that one up.
What do you mean? He pushed his stool back inside his anus?
-------------------------------------------------------
> I used to know a guy who pushed it back in.
Push what back in?
>
> After that one it would take Hercules and the
> Atlanta Falcons to hold that one up.
What do you mean? He pushed his stool back inside his anus?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 10, 2014 08:43PM
Yes a fellow sufferer, a brother in bowel had no choice.
Brown capping it was quite often his only option.
Now to drop one like the Tsunami of Indonesia
Brown capping it was quite often his only option.
Now to drop one like the Tsunami of Indonesia
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 11, 2014 07:27AM
That erupting rocket at Wallops Island was nothing.
Last night my non brown tighty whities were at my ankles, drenched with leg sweat, as I managed to drop a log of epic proportions.
Chinese food will get you every time.
Last night my non brown tighty whities were at my ankles, drenched with leg sweat, as I managed to drop a log of epic proportions.
Chinese food will get you every time.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 11, 2014 10:41AM
This morning I was watching television, and I do believe that Maury Povich and Whoopi are brothers and sisters in bowel.
I could be wrong, but trust my gut, now that it's clean.
I could be wrong, but trust my gut, now that it's clean.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: November 11, 2014 01:35PM
I quit my job. How do I get unemployment? Or how can I apply for disability?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 12, 2014 08:33AM
Gordo,
I'm sorry. Its unfair. Unfortunately I don't think you get unemployment if you quit a job, but if fired or let go for economic reasons.
Your ass let you down, that's for sure, yet keep your head up brother in bowel.
I'm sorry. Its unfair. Unfortunately I don't think you get unemployment if you quit a job, but if fired or let go for economic reasons.
Your ass let you down, that's for sure, yet keep your head up brother in bowel.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 12, 2014 11:41AM
Bob Evans, your macaroni is to blame for that mess.
Your bathroom might be cleaned, but that scent is forever
Your bathroom might be cleaned, but that scent is forever
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
black underwear
()
Date: November 12, 2014 12:21PM
Go to a doctor fucksticks!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 12, 2014 03:03PM
Why don't you sit next to me while I crap asshole? You talk a lot of shit.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 13, 2014 08:51AM
IHOP, I apologize.
Your fruity pancakes taste good, but the end. Result is far from pretty.
Your fruity pancakes taste good, but the end. Result is far from pretty.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Mr Brown Underwear
()
Date: November 13, 2014 12:56PM
At least you are continent.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 14, 2014 08:50AM
I think what I just hoisted out of my rear end, would easily be used as ordinance against ISIS.
If a bombing crew would allow me to straddle over the bombay doors, I could do some damage.
If a bombing crew would allow me to straddle over the bombay doors, I could do some damage.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 14, 2014 07:09PM
There's a smell wafting in the air.
The people who are so rude on the other sides of the stall, I'm glad your bowel movements smell like roses.
Your wide stance in public restrooms is well known.
Yet you don't have to endure crapping a canteeloupe
The people who are so rude on the other sides of the stall, I'm glad your bowel movements smell like roses.
Your wide stance in public restrooms is well known.
Yet you don't have to endure crapping a canteeloupe
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: November 15, 2014 01:23PM
black underwear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Go to a doctor fucksticks!
It would behoove you to use proper English, but I have been trying to get them to see a psychiatrist.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Go to a doctor fucksticks!
It would behoove you to use proper English, but I have been trying to get them to see a psychiatrist.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 15, 2014 03:38PM
Anon Doc just got squeezed out of my rear end. What an egotistical piece of shit.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 16, 2014 08:14AM
Darth Vader has IBS. Mark my words.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: November 16, 2014 10:19AM
Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Darth Vader has IBS. Mark my words.
And you have profound emotional and mental difficulties in my professional opinion.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Darth Vader has IBS. Mark my words.
And you have profound emotional and mental difficulties in my professional opinion.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 16, 2014 01:21PM
Anon Doc and his colleagues are the Darth Sidious of the medical profession. Its my opinion that they are the lowest of the low.
Who signs up to look and or probe inside assholes all day?
Who signs up to look and or probe inside assholes all day?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 17, 2014 07:28AM
If you have IBS, do not eat PF Chang frozen foods.
I was up all night, with a stomach which was gurgling, and a result that looked like a boulder of shit that's beyond epic proportions.
Adhesive bandaids and witch hazel.
I was up all night, with a stomach which was gurgling, and a result that looked like a boulder of shit that's beyond epic proportions.
Adhesive bandaids and witch hazel.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 18, 2014 11:48AM
IBS is bad, but hemmeroids are the worst.
I feel like a blood donor.
I feel like a blood donor.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 19, 2014 07:36AM
Those images of the Israel synogogue attack were bloody.
I was worried CNN reporters had my bathroom on the news.
I was worried CNN reporters had my bathroom on the news.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: November 19, 2014 10:15AM
Being Jewish, that's taking things too far. I'm offended.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 19, 2014 12:16PM
Gordo,
I owe you an apology. Bad comparison on my part, as the roids are causing a lot of blood.
How does kosher food digest? Mazel Tov
I owe you an apology. Bad comparison on my part, as the roids are causing a lot of blood.
How does kosher food digest? Mazel Tov
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 20, 2014 08:30AM
There has been coverage on the news about coyotes in Fairfax.
It's my sincere hope, that residents aren't hearing my cries of woe on the groan throne, and confusing them for this mostly harmless mammal.
Last night was truly horrible, as my intestines had to work extra hard despite a combination of castor oil and Metamucil.
It's my sincere hope, that residents aren't hearing my cries of woe on the groan throne, and confusing them for this mostly harmless mammal.
Last night was truly horrible, as my intestines had to work extra hard despite a combination of castor oil and Metamucil.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 20, 2014 10:31AM
Good intentions lead to poor results.
I try to be accommodating to fellow stall mates at Target. Knowing your craps really stink, I decided to be kind, lighting up a Romeo Y Julieta cigar while on the throne to cover up unsavory aromas.
Yet I got kicked out, because while the no smoking signs are understood, people with IBS benefit from nicotine, and other people can be saved from terrible scents.
I try to be accommodating to fellow stall mates at Target. Knowing your craps really stink, I decided to be kind, lighting up a Romeo Y Julieta cigar while on the throne to cover up unsavory aromas.
Yet I got kicked out, because while the no smoking signs are understood, people with IBS benefit from nicotine, and other people can be saved from terrible scents.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 21, 2014 05:00AM
A bad night
Does shit count as modern art?
Does shit count as modern art?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: November 23, 2014 09:22AM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Being Jewish, that's taking things too far. I'm
> offended.
This is why I've advised you to seek professional help, instead of listening to the village idiots.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Being Jewish, that's taking things too far. I'm
> offended.
This is why I've advised you to seek professional help, instead of listening to the village idiots.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 24, 2014 08:02AM
Once again Gordo, Anon Doc is waving his extra large ring finger. His judgmental views and ego, show I know my shit. He's an asshole who looks at assholes, and we are no further close to a cure for IBS.
Later on I'll describe, play by play, events of horror that transpired in my bathroom.
Later on I'll describe, play by play, events of horror that transpired in my bathroom.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 24, 2014 11:40AM
It started off innocent.
My stomach growled a bit, and a urge to defecate was duly noted.
For hours I sweat, pushed, squeezed in turmoil. The midwife and IV helped. The pain killers and MRE meals did too, as it took two days to give birth to that Tomahawk missile.
One day my asshole is going to fall out.
My stomach growled a bit, and a urge to defecate was duly noted.
For hours I sweat, pushed, squeezed in turmoil. The midwife and IV helped. The pain killers and MRE meals did too, as it took two days to give birth to that Tomahawk missile.
One day my asshole is going to fall out.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 25, 2014 08:13AM
The media needs to focus on my bathroom. Far worse than Ferguson.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 25, 2014 12:51PM
I forgot a victim of IBS.
If my commode could speak, it's probably in pain.
If my commode could speak, it's probably in pain.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 26, 2014 08:56AM
I hate Thanksgiving, but I hope families will discuss their bowel woes openly at their tables.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 27, 2014 08:30AM
Today families will get together, and it's my sincere hope, people will have the courage to come out of the IBS closet.
At dinner today as you feast on non IBS friendly foods, bring up your straining or explosive bowel movements.
You might be surprised by your coming out. Aunt Margaret or Uncle Clarence might also have IBS. This will improve your relations and be an educational moment
At dinner today as you feast on non IBS friendly foods, bring up your straining or explosive bowel movements.
You might be surprised by your coming out. Aunt Margaret or Uncle Clarence might also have IBS. This will improve your relations and be an educational moment
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 28, 2014 07:52AM
Squash is great. Although messy, that's the best crap in years.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: November 28, 2014 01:35PM
I realize I can't eat at Sbarros anymore. Their foods are the best, but it's embarrassing after.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 29, 2014 07:50AM
Gordo,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news.
Sbarros is going to cause bowel problems for all, even those who are blessed with Lexus like assholes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news.
Sbarros is going to cause bowel problems for all, even those who are blessed with Lexus like assholes.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: November 30, 2014 07:32AM
One of my younger patients, informed me that if you apply key words about IBS, this is the first site to open.
I understand folks here are frustrated. As a professional with thirty plus years of experience, there have been improvements.
There is no cure, but IBS can be better managed. Out of a sense of holiday kindness and consideration for others, I implore you to stop the immature write ups.
I understand folks here are frustrated. As a professional with thirty plus years of experience, there have been improvements.
There is no cure, but IBS can be better managed. Out of a sense of holiday kindness and consideration for others, I implore you to stop the immature write ups.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 02, 2014 03:10PM
Doc after passing stalagmites I don't have the energy right now. Got any witch hazel?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 03, 2014 10:06AM
I'm glad these posts have generated IBS Awareness if what the doctor typed is true.
He's probably wiping his shit stained fingers, like the God of bowels with his unparalleled savagery.
He makes a visit to the GI sound like a walk in the park,when he knows well his fat fingers will root around you after being paid.
He's probably wiping his shit stained fingers, like the God of bowels with his unparalleled savagery.
He makes a visit to the GI sound like a walk in the park,when he knows well his fat fingers will root around you after being paid.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 04, 2014 07:45AM
I just passed Michael Browns dad through my intestines. Slight burning but survived nonetheless
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: December 04, 2014 12:09PM
Those disposable wipes have helped with messes.
Does anyone know where they can be bought in bulk? Thanksgiving was not fun
Does anyone know where they can be bought in bulk? Thanksgiving was not fun
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 05, 2014 08:40AM
Good morning Gordo,
Hit up a Costco or actually Amazon.com is very fecal friendly. You don't haget to worry about being in public, as your ass becomes the brown version of the Johnstown Flood, or you pass Michael Browns step dad's head.
Hit up a Costco or actually Amazon.com is very fecal friendly. You don't haget to worry about being in public, as your ass becomes the brown version of the Johnstown Flood, or you pass Michael Browns step dad's head.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 06, 2014 11:26AM
I just shit out a Christmas tree, and all decorations broke. My ass hurts.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 07, 2014 01:35PM
Oh the Grinch has officially visited my rectum.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: December 07, 2014 05:50PM
Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh the Grinch has officially visited my rectum.
It would behoove you and those with IBS, to appropriate acceptable write ups.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh the Grinch has officially visited my rectum.
It would behoove you and those with IBS, to appropriate acceptable write ups.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 08, 2014 07:11AM
Doctor, up yours. I wish you a day of poking smelly assholes
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH or Northman
()
Date: December 08, 2014 09:02AM
We all know who's behind these scat posts.
Those two or one are the nastiest fucksticks
Those two or one are the nastiest fucksticks
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
horse Bob
()
Date: December 08, 2014 11:00AM
I'm glad to see other have this. It's dreadful going to the bathroom.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 08, 2014 12:58PM
Bob you are never alone. There are millions of Americans, the silent majority of brown, who share your pain.
I take it your bowels are like mine, that during the production of excrement hurts.
Earlier today I made peace with my rectum, as I apologized to it for the large basketball sized shit it handled.
So let's learn more about your bowels.
I take it your bowels are like mine, that during the production of excrement hurts.
Earlier today I made peace with my rectum, as I apologized to it for the large basketball sized shit it handled.
So let's learn more about your bowels.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 08, 2014 03:36PM
Helpful tip of the day.
Water soluble fruits can help with IBS.
Yes your shit will pop out like a large onion, but that's less painful than dropping a canteloupe.
Our asses may hurt, but as we stumble, the groan throne does not define us.
Water soluble fruits can help with IBS.
Yes your shit will pop out like a large onion, but that's less painful than dropping a canteloupe.
Our asses may hurt, but as we stumble, the groan throne does not define us.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 09, 2014 07:36PM
Today was a quiet one on the battle of the bowels.
Yet a yuletide log is brewing.
Yet a yuletide log is brewing.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 10, 2014 11:48AM
A day of relief still, yet I'm worried the shit gnome will be making its appearance.
Hoping this Metamucil helps, but even with it, it's time for a midwife.
Hoping this Metamucil helps, but even with it, it's time for a midwife.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: December 10, 2014 02:43PM
I have the dreidels out, but am scared about inviting family and friends over for Hanukkah.
It's one thing to go the synagogue, because I'm anonomouys there, but with family they know. Wondering about scent covers.
It's one thing to go the synagogue, because I'm anonomouys there, but with family they know. Wondering about scent covers.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Idea Guy
()
Date: December 10, 2014 03:12PM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have the dreidels out, but am scared about
> inviting family and friends over for Hanukkah.
>
> It's one thing to go the synagogue, because I'm
> anonomouys there, but with family they know.
> Wondering about scent covers.
Hang some over those car air freshners overs your butt. That way they will be appreciative and know that you are making an effort to appease their nostrils.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have the dreidels out, but am scared about
> inviting family and friends over for Hanukkah.
>
> It's one thing to go the synagogue, because I'm
> anonomouys there, but with family they know.
> Wondering about scent covers.
Hang some over those car air freshners overs your butt. That way they will be appreciative and know that you are making an effort to appease their nostrils.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 10, 2014 05:09PM
Air fresheners might help. That is actually a pretty smart idea, but with Gordos persistent diarrhea based IBS, they would probably need frequent changing as the green tree would be brown.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 11, 2014 02:13PM
My butt has got to have several nuclear cores in meltdown.
While not Chernobyl like, it is contained.
My butt is in pain, but it's not Christmas is going to be brutal.
While not Chernobyl like, it is contained.
My butt is in pain, but it's not Christmas is going to be brutal.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: December 11, 2014 03:36PM
Thank you I've got lots of wipes from Amazon.
Only problem is ground shipping time is a lot
. Yet the price was good.
Only problem is ground shipping time is a lot
. Yet the price was good.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 12, 2014 07:37AM
Gordo glad you got your supplies, although if shipping was faster, Amazon could get more brown stars.
Due to a plethora of fecal odors, I've just been added to Santas naughty list.
Due to a plethora of fecal odors, I've just been added to Santas naughty list.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: December 13, 2014 07:40AM
Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gordo glad you got your supplies, although if
> shipping was faster, Amazon could get more brown
> stars.
>
> Due to a plethora of fecal odors, I've just been
> added to Santas naughty list.
Woodburn is calling.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gordo glad you got your supplies, although if
> shipping was faster, Amazon could get more brown
> stars.
>
> Due to a plethora of fecal odors, I've just been
> added to Santas naughty list.
Woodburn is calling.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 13, 2014 09:25AM
Yes they are calling you out for your callous sadistic demeanor.
You have and always will be an asshole stinky fingers. Your career has helped no one but your smelly pockets, and your so called medical license makes you feel important.
Yet the bottom line, is your ring finger just roots around in people's rectum, and somehow this is medicine.
You have and always will be an asshole stinky fingers. Your career has helped no one but your smelly pockets, and your so called medical license makes you feel important.
Yet the bottom line, is your ring finger just roots around in people's rectum, and somehow this is medicine.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH or Northman
()
Date: December 13, 2014 10:55AM
We all know who's behind this shit.
BEH definitely. Notice how the writing styles are exact?
BEH definitely. Notice how the writing styles are exact?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 13, 2014 02:07PM
I dont know where BEH has been, but as a brother in bowel, I hope he's okay. Does North have IBS or another bowel related health issue?
I am tired of this, and also shitting out, what feels to be glass ornaments.
There was minor bleeding today. I hope this stops and hope Santa doesn't have this condition.
I am tired of this, and also shitting out, what feels to be glass ornaments.
There was minor bleeding today. I hope this stops and hope Santa doesn't have this condition.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 14, 2014 07:33AM
Last night was dreadful.
Chef Boyardee ravioli looks nasty in the can.
Yet after passing through my internal highways, it fell out like a frozen can of brown cranberry that stunk to high hell.
Oh yes the wallpaper peels
Chef Boyardee ravioli looks nasty in the can.
Yet after passing through my internal highways, it fell out like a frozen can of brown cranberry that stunk to high hell.
Oh yes the wallpaper peels
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: December 14, 2014 10:32AM
Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Last night was dreadful.
>
> Chef Boyardee ravioli looks nasty in the can.
>
> Yet after passing through my internal highways, it
> fell out like a frozen can of brown cranberry that
> stunk to high hell.
>
> Oh yes the wallpaper peels
Anyone who has both a brain and IBS knows not to consume such foods.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Last night was dreadful.
>
> Chef Boyardee ravioli looks nasty in the can.
>
> Yet after passing through my internal highways, it
> fell out like a frozen can of brown cranberry that
> stunk to high hell.
>
> Oh yes the wallpaper peels
Anyone who has both a brain and IBS knows not to consume such foods.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 14, 2014 02:46PM
How's that stinky finger, liver spots, and lack of flowers going for you?
You must be the guy, that everyone at a cocktail party avoids, or engages if only they have a tub of sanitizer.
You are an asshole doc. I hope your bowels fail you miserably.
You must be the guy, that everyone at a cocktail party avoids, or engages if only they have a tub of sanitizer.
You are an asshole doc. I hope your bowels fail you miserably.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 15, 2014 06:19AM
Technical difficulties this morning.
I guess I didn't brown cap fast enough.
No wonder men don't wear thongs. Extra time in the washing machine, as my white turned brown.
I guess I didn't brown cap fast enough.
No wonder men don't wear thongs. Extra time in the washing machine, as my white turned brown.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 16, 2014 08:40AM
One has to wonder, if Jim Carrey has IBS.
I watched his face contort in the Grinch, and wonder if his colon is doing okay.
I watched his face contort in the Grinch, and wonder if his colon is doing okay.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 17, 2014 09:00AM
Well my pipe dream of Browns QB Johnny Manziel. Never mind in the shitter
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: December 17, 2014 11:41AM
I feel tired. The steam cleaning. The Hanukkah from hell. My family now is harassing me. They are abusive.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 17, 2014 01:26PM
Gordo
At least you didn't drop a menorah.
I am sorry. This time of year brings out the best and worst in families.
Remind your family they are responsible.
At least you didn't drop a menorah.
I am sorry. This time of year brings out the best and worst in families.
Remind your family they are responsible.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH or Northman
()
Date: December 17, 2014 03:58PM
Just give it up. BEH you are dum
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 18, 2014 06:59AM
Gordo I hope your fecal emissions have dissipated.
Last night I watched the civil war movie "God's and Generals. " A well done movie.
Yet the scene where General Armistead dies, I wonder if his IBS was the cause.
"Tell General Hancock, General Armistead sends his regrets. "
"Tell him, not both of us." His rectum and colon were not in sync.
Last night I watched the civil war movie "God's and Generals. " A well done movie.
Yet the scene where General Armistead dies, I wonder if his IBS was the cause.
"Tell General Hancock, General Armistead sends his regrets. "
"Tell him, not both of us." His rectum and colon were not in sync.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 19, 2014 09:04AM
The aromas from my bathroom, will not be in any Christmas poems.
Frosty the fudgeman has produced a stinky brown tree.
Frosty the fudgeman has produced a stinky brown tree.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 19, 2014 11:05AM
At this point I'd be thrilled if Santa brought castor oil and Metamucil.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 19, 2014 12:47PM
I appreciate my sister Matilda, sending the Hickory Farms cheese set. Yet she should know better.
Their blocks of brie, gouda, and sharp cheddar are the best. The bon bons are an extra culinary treat, until they send my colon into overtime.
I just gave birth to terrible smelling blocks of cheese. Hearing "Deck the Halls" earlier, the lyrics of "Don me now my gay apparel. " has left me wondering if gay people have IBS.
Their blocks of brie, gouda, and sharp cheddar are the best. The bon bons are an extra culinary treat, until they send my colon into overtime.
I just gave birth to terrible smelling blocks of cheese. Hearing "Deck the Halls" earlier, the lyrics of "Don me now my gay apparel. " has left me wondering if gay people have IBS.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 19, 2014 03:37PM
The Friendlys Christmas ice cream log is a mean bastard.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 20, 2014 07:05AM
Matilda is a pain.
Christmas brings out the best and worst in families.
She is staying at my residence for the holidays, and it's not if she didn't know of my bowel woes.
She's complaining about the aromas, screams in the middle of the night
S
Christmas brings out the best and worst in families.
She is staying at my residence for the holidays, and it's not if she didn't know of my bowel woes.
She's complaining about the aromas, screams in the middle of the night
S
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 20, 2014 07:06AM
My fault, she should have purchased a room at the Anchorage. That way the aromas and screams would be there, but she could at least ask for a refund.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 20, 2014 03:49PM
Well I just lost ten pounds.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 20, 2014 07:58PM
Thanks to Cox Communications, I now have cable TV in the bathroom.
I wonder if Bill O Reilly is one of us with misfiring bowels.
It's just a guess, but at the very least hemorrhoidal tissue.
I wonder if Bill O Reilly is one of us with misfiring bowels.
It's just a guess, but at the very least hemorrhoidal tissue.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: December 21, 2014 07:05AM
My butt felt glued to the throne.
The midwife and her work in delivering the stinky tar baby are appreciated.
Now to call the fumigation company.
The midwife and her work in delivering the stinky tar baby are appreciated.
Now to call the fumigation company.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: December 21, 2014 09:44AM
Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My butt felt glued to the throne.
>
> The midwife and her work in delivering the stinky
> tar baby are appreciated.
>
> Now to call the fumigation company.
For the uninformed, midwives are unlicensed birth assistants.
-------------------------------------------------------
> My butt felt glued to the throne.
>
> The midwife and her work in delivering the stinky
> tar baby are appreciated.
>
> Now to call the fumigation company.
For the uninformed, midwives are unlicensed birth assistants.