Hi all. 5am guy here again. 5am guy just took a nice dump in the men's room here at work. It took over an hour to drop but was worth the wait. 5am guy hopes everyone is enjoying the holiday season!

5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all. 5am guy here again. 5am guy just took a
> nice dump in the men's room here at work. It took
> over an hour to drop but was worth the wait. 5am
> guy hopes everyone is enjoying the holiday season!

You too 5 am, as I'm working on one now.

I ate a egg mcmuffin. What was I thinking? My poor bowels!

5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all. 5am guy here again. 5am guy just took a
> nice dump in the men's room here at work. It took
> over an hour to drop but was worth the wait. 5am
> guy hopes everyone is enjoying the holiday season!


So you get paid to sit on the toilet for an hour - wow. I guess security work doesnt require much but your presence on the property. An hour is far too long for elimination. See a doctor, change diet, exercise the usual advise.

Verified Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5am guy Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hi all. 5am guy here again. 5am guy just took a
> > nice dump in the men's room here at work. It
> took
> > over an hour to drop but was worth the wait.
> 5am
> > guy hopes everyone is enjoying the holiday
> season!
>
> You too 5 am, as I'm working on one now.

Thanks for the update! You are aware everyone is processing food at all times unless starving. We are all 'working on one.' Why not post about the fact you are breathing? About as interesting I suppose...

Obvious OniOn Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Verified Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > 5am guy Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Hi all. 5am guy here again. 5am guy just took
> a
> > > nice dump in the men's room here at work. It
> > took
> > > over an hour to drop but was worth the wait.
> > 5am
> > > guy hopes everyone is enjoying the holiday
> > season!
> >
> > You too 5 am, as I'm working on one now.
>
> Thanks for the update! You are aware everyone is
> processing food at all times unless starving. We
> are all 'working on one.' Why not post about the
> fact you are breathing? About as interesting I
> suppose...

Why not just let and live dickwad?

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Obvious OniOn Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Verified Green Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > 5am guy Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > Hi all. 5am guy here again. 5am guy just
> took
> > a
> > > > nice dump in the men's room here at work.
> It
> > > took
> > > > over an hour to drop but was worth the
> wait.
> > > 5am
> > > > guy hopes everyone is enjoying the holiday
> > > season!
> > >
> > > You too 5 am, as I'm working on one now.
> >
> > Thanks for the update! You are aware everyone
> is
> > processing food at all times unless starving.
> We
> > are all 'working on one.' Why not post about
> the
> > fact you are breathing? About as interesting I
> > suppose...
>
> Why not just let and live dickwad?

Im trying to help Green - he needs to know his poo doesnt make him special or unique. This is something he needs to develop in his personality. Im hoping I can bring him along in the New Year.

My dad bought me five switch games, so long as I "promise not to tell mom about the obese neighbor, tassels, ceiling fans or other crappy activities. They did clean up the house well, but I think mom will figure it out.

Spinning signz got bunz out on Fairfax Boulevardz and will make Christmaz moneyz. Provide community servicez for menz candy canez and lollipopz.

I wish I could get the image of my dad, in his underwear out dancing to "Shake it Off." I didn't know he was a Taylor Swift fan. Right now him and the obese neighbor are drinking what they call jenkem. Not sure what it is but it smells bad.

The fake postings are funny. Half day of school today and we dont go back till the 4th of Jan. I am going to do some home study on the human digestive system for extra credit in biology class.

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The fake postings are funny. Half day of school
> today and we dont go back till the 4th of Jan. I
> am going to do some home study on the human
> digestive system for extra credit in biology
> class.


Schools have been out since last Friday dipshit

Jenkem is a supposed inhalant and hallucinogen created from fermented human waste. In the mid-1990s, it was reported to be a popular street drug among Zambian street children. They would put the feces and urine in a jar and cover it with a balloon then let it ferment out in the sun, then afterwards they would inhale the fumes created.

This is a drug of savages Spring - your dad as a white man should be killing himself with alcohol and tobacco. Please adhere to your class-specific form of destruction in your own life and do not follow the path of your father. Also did you try the Jenkem? Ive heard it can be quite tasty.

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The fake postings are funny. Half day of school
> today and we dont go back till the 4th of Jan. I
> am going to do some home study on the human
> digestive system for extra credit in biology
> class.


Agreed, they are a form of flattery. You have the right attitude spring onion. That's great you are learning more about bowels and if you learn something new please share!

Don't give out your address or phone number spring onion!

Spinning signz don't be grinchez or scroogez visit my bayz in bayz and enjoy seasonz hreetingz. It is stresz time of yearz so bring your candy canez and full ballz down to my bunz.

Advise Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't give out your address or phone number spring
> onion!


Dont worry about that but thanks for caring. Happy holidays!

This Nintendo Switch has some brown streaks on it. Due to what I've learned in class its soaking in soap that has extra industrial strength. I hope it smells better soon. My dad and the obese neighbor are walking around in the house with towels on. They say they shower together to help the environment.

My dad is running around the house with cat treats and a net saying he needs to 'harvest Sanatra's (our cats name is Sanatra) dirt' - I think he means to give the cat an enema. Our dog Tyson is hiding under the bed because I think he has been the subject of this procedure in the past.

My mother is at the store getting me some organic tofu and miso bean paste for a lemon grass soup I plan to make. I also asked her to get some cleansing tea and flax seed. I find that eating hea - oh crap here comes my dad the net gotta g

Where is the Brown guy with his boring starfish stupidity? Honestly the spring onion guy is like 100x more funny and creative than that fucking idiot with the midwives. Also naked sign spinner ok

My bowels are heavy. I still wrote a check to the Boys and Girls Clubs. They do a good job helping the spics and other third world savages from committing violence against upstanding white citizens.

Unfortunately cannot make the yearly Christmas dinner. Had to write them a note explaining my absence due to bowel woes.

My mom came home. She saw my dad and the obese neighbor, and just shrugged. It seems she knew about this, and while I am sad, she did cook me a bowel friendly meal. This is a good development as my dad and the fat man now occupy the garage. It is so repulsive to see tjem in glitter paint and soiled underwear.

Hominy grits. What was I thinking? My poor bowels!

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hominy grits. What was I thinking? My poor bowels!


Diced we accept all bowel trodden, but each day it seems as if you make a non bowel friendly food choice and it results in a shitty situation.

With IBS you'll always be delivering a liquid river or cinder block sized monster. Either are horrible, but could you explain a bit more, or maybe expand on your sentiments. How are your bowels?

Well thankz to my bowelz I had ta call out sick taday. Las night I went ta IHOP fo dinner wit a friend of mine from prizon. Now I gots tha liquid shitz. That waz a big misteak. I got me the sirloin steak tips wit grilld onion, corn and mashed potatoze. I thought I could handles that but no.

Spinning signz ballz and peniz are cold. Bunz out on Fairfax Boulevardz ignore goosebumpz still able and ready bring your candy canez and dollarz santaz watching

As usual people messing with us. No shame in your game.

Merry Christmas BiB's! Things down here in Harrisonburg are very quiet with all the kids out of town for the holidays and the JMU dining services that I rely on for well balanced and healthy meals are closed. Looks like I am going to have to research some bowel friendly recipes and do a little cooking. Mrs Dive gets just a couple days off for Christmas while I get a couple weeks off. I am going to Kroger and will try to have a tasty yet healthy meal ready for us shortly after she gets home from work.



I would like to just take a moment to thank our leader Brown Onion and other helpful contributors for their unselfish efforts to help myself and countless others here on this rather unconventional forum for yet another year. I can honestly say that my life has been improved by what I learned and shared here. May God bless you all.

My dad and the obese neighbor, are sharing a sleeping bag naked in the living room. It reeks, I'm convinced they've crapped themselves in a game they are playing called "Pigs in a Blanket." My mom is at work so just trying to play Nintendo.

Toilet bowl is blood red. Looks like Shining

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well thankz to my bowelz I had ta call out sick
> taday. Las night I went ta IHOP fo dinner wit a
> friend of mine from prizon. Now I gots tha liquid
> shitz. That waz a big misteak. I got me the
> sirloin steak tips wit grilld onion, corn and
> mashed potatoze. I thought I could handles that
> but no.


You ordered steak at the iHop - I want to be kind here but its difficult. Pancakes or eggs - that is what you order at iHop. Never meat of any kind. You get out of prison and go pay to eat prison food at iHop. Beyond my ken.

How are you treating your brain? You getting any education of training to improve your station in life? Or are you content with spinning signz?

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
helping> the spics

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

delivering a liquid> river

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Merry Christmas BiB's! Things down here in
> Harrisonburg are very quiet with all the kids out
> of town for the holidays and the JMU dining
> services that I rely on for well balanced and
> healthy meals are closed. Looks like I am going to
> have to research some bowel friendly recipes and
> do a little cooking. Mrs Dive gets just a couple
> days off for Christmas while I get a couple weeks
> off. I am going to Kroger and will try to have a
> tasty yet healthy meal ready for us shortly after
> she gets home from work.
>
>
>
> I would like to just take a moment to thank our
> leader Brown Onion and other helpful contributors
> for their unselfish efforts to help myself and
> countless others here on this rather
> unconventional forum for yet another year. I can
> honestly say that my life has been improved by
> what I learned and shared here. May God bless you
> all.


Dive Merry Christmas. Hate to be the bearer of bad news but the real Brown Onion died of heart related complications this past April. Also stupid vapid comments about 'midwives, starfish' are not health related; nor are comments about 'wet backs' or 'third world savages.'

Not sure how such language or statements 'improve' your life. Perhaps you come for the 'starfish' but stay for the scat gifs - thats my guess.

Fuck you grinch. BO is loved here. You wish he was dead but he is not. Asshole sociopath twat.

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Merry Christmas BiB's! Things down here in
> Harrisonburg are very quiet with all the kids out
> of town for the holidays and the JMU dining
> services that I rely on for well balanced and
> healthy meals are closed. Looks like I am going to
> have to research some bowel friendly recipes and
> do a little cooking. Mrs Dive gets just a couple
> days off for Christmas while I get a couple weeks
> off. I am going to Kroger and will try to have a
> tasty yet healthy meal ready for us shortly after
> she gets home from work.
>
>
>
> I would like to just take a moment to thank our
> leader Brown Onion and other helpful contributors
> for their unselfish efforts to help myself and
> countless others here on this rather
> unconventional forum for yet another year. I can
> honestly say that my life has been improved by
> what I learned and shared here. May God bless you
> all.


Best holiday wishes from the boiled onion family Dive. God bless you and yours too!

My dad and the obese neighbor are gross. They are putting shit in the ice cube containers, and adding popsicle sticks for what they call fudgesicles. I have explained E Coli and Hepatitis that I have learned in Biology, but they drink beers, fart on the couch, and are waiting for the freezer to do its job.

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fuck you grinch. BO is loved here. You wish he was
> dead but he is not. Asshole sociopath twat.


BO is a racist asshole using the account of a deceased BiB. You sound pretty mad - how are your bowels?



Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 25, 2017 06:05PM

weekend update Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown onion was admitted to Fairfax Hospital last
> week. His chances of survival are uncertain at
> this time. Thoughts and prayers please. He was
> transferred to a VA hospital today. We will know
> more soon. Thank you all!


Thank you Charlie for updating my brothers friends here. Sadly my brother passed away at age 79. He was a father, grandfather, and is survived by three children, four grandchildren, a sister and brother, along with being preceded by his wife Ethel in 2011.

Its with sadness that a cardiac event took him from us but our family is grateful, and asks any donations be made to any IBS awareness organizations. My brother was a tireless advocate for the millions of people who deal with this medical issues, and will be remembered for his kindness and support to all.


Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: April 26, 2017 11:34AM

My condolences BO was loved here

Spinning signz on Fairfax Boulevardz. Warmer weather bring out candy canez put them in Santa Clauz stockingz. Dollarz and coinz accepted.

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My dad and the obese neighbor, are sharing a
> sleeping bag naked in the living room. It reeks,
> I'm convinced they've crapped themselves in a game
> they are playing called "Pigs in a Blanket." My
> mom is at work so just trying to play Nintendo.


Spring your posts are not funny and our leader Brown Onion does not approve. If you could mention 'midwives' or 'wetbacks' in your stories it would be Funny_TM Why are you so obsessed with your dad's hobby - he is not hurting anyone. Have you been able to meet with Green Onion in real life - I know he is very concerned and has offered you rides in his van. If you havent you should meet up with him soon to help with your problems as an adolescent.

^Spring do not meet with anyone here and do not give out your personal info. These men are dangerous and engaging in 'grooming' behavior.

Looks like I'm late to the party, but to dive bomber, red onion class, Cave, Boiled, everyone even those whom regularly rip our rectums here Merry Christmas to all. May your ornaments shine, may you get the joys of a #4 #2, and may you prosper.

Instead of write ups, make a wise new years resolution and see a GI.

Advise Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^Spring do not meet with anyone here and do not
> give out your personal info. These men are
> dangerous and engaging in 'grooming' behavior.


Patently false. The real green onion knows we respect him, his age difference, and don't ask him for info other than his news and what he's learning.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
Im a racist asshole

Verified Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Advise Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > ^Spring do not meet with anyone here and do not
> > give out your personal info. These men are
> > dangerous and engaging in 'grooming' behavior.
>
>
> Patently false. The real green onion knows we
> respect him, his age difference, and don't ask him
> for info other than his news and what he's
> learning scrotum size for sizing leather underwear and a Jr. Butt Plug.






.

I'm not sure why my dad and the obese neighbor call it spooning, but they are inseparable. They mention tossed salads, but all I see are pizza boxes, wings, and smelly fists. They are dancing around to "Its Raining Men" in their white and brown underwear. Maybe mom is correct as men go through mid life crises.

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm not sure why my dad and the obese neighbor
> call it spooning, but they are inseparable. They
> mention tossed salads, but all I see are pizza
> boxes, wings, and smelly fists. They are dancing
> around to "Its Raining Men" in their white and
> brown underwear. Maybe mom is correct as men go
> through mid life crises

Spring - these things happen. Dont let it stress you out too much. The salads they are talking about tossing are NOT bowel friendly. Try to make sure all your own eating utensils and plates are thoroughly cleaned and do not eat any food you have not seen cooked to at least 160 degrees F.

Much like the scene in Indiana Jones do not look at the Ark - if you see your neighbor and dad doing spooning or something with fists look away and even cover your eyes if need be. May God richly bless you and for the love of Pete wash your hands often.

dont worry fren Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Spring Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I'm not sure why my dad and the obese neighbor
> > call it spooning, but they are inseparable.
> They
> > mention tossed salads, but all I see are pizza
> > boxes, wings, and smelly fists. They are
> dancing
> > around to "Its Raining Men" in their white and
> > brown underwear. Maybe mom is correct as men go
> > through mid life crises
>
> Spring - these things happen. Dont let it stress
> you out too much. The salads they are talking
> about tossing are NOT bowel friendly. Try to make
> sure all your own eating utensils and plates are
> thoroughly cleaned and do not eat any food you
> have not seen cooked to at least 160 degrees F.
>
>
> Much like the scene in Indiana Jones do not look
> at the Ark - if you see your neighbor and dad
> doing spooning or something with fists look away
> and even cover your eyes if need be. May God
> richly bless you and for the love of Pete wash
> your hands often.

Call CERT! Funny as fuck !!

Dad and the neighbor have picked up a third member to the party - a really skinny dude with cowboy boots and wearing a thong. They picked him up off a street corner where he was working as one of those people that holds and spins signs to get driver's attention. I think he is from San Francisco because he keeps talking about 'Bays' or 'Bays in Bays' - maybe he is a 49er's fan Im not sure.

Anyway they are all hugging and dancing to 'Gloria' by Laura Branigan - they keep pushing the skinny guy down to the floor screaming about changing their 'oil' whatever that means. Im going to my room with my organic multigrain turkey/avacado and flax seed wrap to work on my biology extra credit project.

Mom has taken up smoking and out in the cold on the back porch, I think she is drinking some of dad's beer out there.

I ate waffles. What was I thinking? My poor bowels!

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I ate waffles. What was I thinking? My poor
> bowels!


I wonder how grits are digestion wise? I love grits with real butter and pepper.

Boiled that can't be good. My bowels scream thinking about it.

Verified Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Boiled that can't be good. My bowels scream
> thinking about it.

so very funny yet supportive. Improving my quality of life relating to others hyperfocused on their feces.*


* this post 'starfish approved' also wetback, savages hahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Spinning signz. Policemenz say no walking on Fairfax Boulevardz with bunz and ballz out. They have hard jobz so I give them specialz for their nightstickz.

Remember the oversized Christmas tree in the Griswold movie? Imagine that plus Cousin Eddie's RV coming out of my starfish. Yes, this one really is going to cause pain, angst, sweating, and tears that will streak down my face and into my grey whiskers. Let the screaming begin.

Good luck Brownie!

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Remember the oversized Christmas tree in the
> Griswold movie? Imagine that plus Cousin Eddie's
> RV coming out of my starfish. Yes, this one really
> is going to cause pain, angst, sweating, and tears
> that will streak down my face and into my grey
> whiskers. Let the screaming begin.


Wow BO, that sounds painful. I have been in that situation before. Maybe a dulcolax suppository would be a good idea for a major delivery like that. I had to use one a few months back when I gave into temptation and had a double whopper with cheese for lunch. This is embarrassing but Mrs Dive applied the medicine to my starfish because I had back problems at the time. Mrs Dive really takes that whole "for better or worse" thing seriously as it doesn't get much worse than that.
Here's hoping that you get past this one without having to visit the ER. Merry Christmas my friend!

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> RV coming out of my starfish

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Remember the oversized Christmas tree in the
> > Griswold movie? Imagine that plus Cousin
> Eddie's
> > RV coming out of my starfish. Yes, this one
> really
> > is going to cause pain, angst, sweating, and
> tears
> > that will streak down my face and into my grey
> > whiskers. Let the screaming begin.
>
>
> Wow BO, that sounds painful. I have been in that
> situation before. Maybe a dulcolax suppository
> would be a good idea for a major delivery like
> that. I had to use one a few months back when I
> gave into temptation and had a double whopper with
> cheese for lunch. This is embarrassing but Mrs
> Dive applied the medicine to my starfish because I
> had back problems at the time. Mrs Dive really
> takes that whole "for better or worse" thing
> seriously as it doesn't get much worse than that.
>
> Here's hoping that you get past this one without
> having to visit the ER. Merry Christmas my friend!

Did she push the Dulcolax in with her tongue or her dick?

Our obese neighbor is in his underwear, jiggling his fat to "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree." He is putting poop all over his chest, as my dad sits in his chair with some jerking motion watching him. My mom is outside smoking multiple cigarettes. I do not know what I should tell her, but this Christmas is a strange one.

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Our obese neighbor is in his underwear, jiggling
> his fat to "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree." He
> is putting poop all over his chest, as my dad sits
> in his chair with some jerking motion watching
> him. My mom is outside smoking multiple
> cigarettes. I do not know what I should tell her,
> but this Christmas is a strange one.

Spring, thanks for checking in at this difficult and often confusing time. It may be time for you to take up smoking as well. The things you are seeing are natural yet upsetting. Perhaps I could swing by with the van and bring you to the store for some Salem Lights and ice cream.

The fake postings are funny. I would like to show them to my Dad but he told me to never visit this site ever again when he caught me posting here last summer. My Dad is weird but he works hard take care of our family and he has never hit me.
My Grandma is on her way here to stay with us a few nights and she is bringing me healthy foods. My Dad will probably go get drunk at the obese neighbor's house because Grandma does not allow him to behave like that when she is here.

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The fake postings are funny. I would like to show
> them to my Dad but he told me to never visit this
> site ever again when he caught me posting here
> last summer. My Dad is weird but he works hard
> take care of our family and he has never hit me.
> My Grandma is on her way here to stay with us a
> few nights and she is bringing me healthy foods.
> My Dad will probably go get drunk at the obese
> neighbor's house because Grandma does not allow
> him to behave like that when she is here.

It sounds like your grandma is wise. Sorry your dad does not like this site, but its probably a form of denial. Merry Christmas spring and great attitude

First off Mrs Dive is a hero to our community. I wish we could present her a bowel buddy plaque, with our hands washed of course. To dive and Mrs dive you are a reminder of those sacred vows indeed. And spring onion please continue your studies, as our generation may not get the cure for IBS but you might be the key for future ones not dropping large objects like cinder blocks or mid sized SUV's.

The scene from IT in the bathroom. My toilet.

Hi all, 5am guy checking in a little early tonight. 5am guy is working 12 hour shifts now through new years. 5am guy will be working Christmas eve and Christmas day.
5am guy is starting to feel the rumblings of a big dump coming on. 5am guy has the heater, the star shower device, the scented candles and the chromebook with external speakers playing whale song all up and running in the men's room. 5am guy ate a Stouffer's frozen lasagna earlier which was probably not a good choice. 5am guy is hoping everything comes out okay.
5am guy wishes everyone here a happy holiday!

Spinning signz on Fairfax Boulevardz last minute Christmaz giftz here.

Red Onion Class of 20006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Spinning signz on Fairfax Boulevardz last minute
> Christmaz giftz here.


Your rap is getting old, come up with some new lines. Use your imagination! Merry Christmas.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
bowel buddy plaque,

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The fake postings are funny. I would like to show
> them to my Dad but he told me to never visit this
> site ever again when he caught me posting here
> last summer. My Dad is weird but he works hard
> take care of our family and he has never hit me.
> My Grandma is on her way here to stay with us a
> few nights and she is bringing me healthy foods.
> My Dad will probably go get drunk at the obese
> neighbor's house because Grandma does not allow
> him to behave like that when she is here.

I forgot to mention that as a caring stranger I encourage you to disobey your dad and continue to come to this thread with the pictures of feces-smeared cocks and pussies along with the normal defecation gifs. Accessing these porn images while at school is another good idea. Keep up the good work and lets get together IRL soon okay!

5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all, 5am guy checking in a little early
> tonight. 5am guy is working 12 hour shifts now
> through new years. 5am guy will be working
> Christmas eve and Christmas day.
> 5am guy is starting to feel the rumblings of a
> big dump coming on. 5am guy has the heater, the
> star shower device, the scented candles and the
> chromebook with external speakers playing whale
> song all up and running in the men's room. 5am guy
> ate a Stouffer's frozen lasagna earlier which was
> probably not a good choice. 5am guy is hoping
> everything comes out okay.
> 5am guy wishes everyone here a happy holiday!


Get training in some skill craft or technical field. Shift work doesnt pay and will kill you. Stop eating frozen shit foods. You know Im right on these. Merry Christmas and make a positive plan for 2018

Verified Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> spring onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The fake postings are funny. I would like to
> show
> > them to my Dad but he told me to never visit
> this
> > site ever again when he caught me posting here
> > last summer. My Dad is weird but he works hard
> > take care of our family and he has never hit
> me.
> > My Grandma is on her way here to stay with us a
> > few nights and she is bringing me healthy
> foods.
> > My Dad will probably go get drunk at the obese
> > neighbor's house because Grandma does not allow
> > him to behave like that when she is here.
>
> I forgot to mention that as a caring stranger I
> encourage you to disobey your dad and continue to
> come to this thread with the pictures of
> feces-smeared cocks and pussies along with the
> normal defecation gifs. Accessing these porn
> images while at school is another good idea. Keep
> up the good work and lets get together IRL soon
> okay!


I block all the images on this thread but I have seen them before and they are gross! My school systems WiFi does not block this site and I only view this site on a unlocked knook that I found in the parking lot of the Walmart in Manassas. It would be hard for anyone to track me down. I am not meeting anyone IRL from this place.
My Grandma and I are putting a big jigsaw puzzle together and we are enjoying apples from Harry and David. My Dad stumbled home from our obese neighbors house at about 6 this morning and he is sleepfarting in his room now.

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Verified Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > spring onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > The fake postings are funny. I would like to
> > show
> > > them to my Dad but he told me to never visit
> > this
> > > site ever again when he caught me posting
> here
> > > last summer. My Dad is weird but he works
> hard
> > > take care of our family and he has never hit
> > me.
> > > My Grandma is on her way here to stay with us
> a
> > > few nights and she is bringing me healthy
> > foods.
> > > My Dad will probably go get drunk at the
> obese
> > > neighbor's house because Grandma does not
> allow
> > > him to behave like that when she is here.
> >
> > I forgot to mention that as a caring stranger I
> > encourage you to disobey your dad and continue
> to
> > come to this thread with the pictures of
> > feces-smeared cocks and pussies along with the
> > normal defecation gifs. Accessing these porn
> > images while at school is another good idea.
> Keep
> > up the good work and lets get together IRL soon
> > okay!
>
>
> I block all the images on this thread but I have
> seen them before and they are gross! My school
> systems WiFi does not block this site and I only
> view this site on a unlocked knook that I found in
> the parking lot of the Walmart in Manassas. It
> would be hard for anyone to track me down. I am
> not meeting anyone IRL from this place.
> My Grandma and I are putting a big jigsaw puzzle
> together and we are enjoying apples from Harry and
> David. My Dad stumbled home from our obese
> neighbors house at about 6 this morning and he is
> sleepfarting in his room now.

Ive narrowed your ISP location down to the Stonewall Jackson HS area - a little more digging and I could have your home address. Stay off this thread and away from this site. I would be a shame if your personal information was posted here.

My dad is shaking out his red Christmas underwear. Unfortunately poop is falling out. Shake it Off is a bad song.

Just when the superior bowel crowd is an asshole enough, they try to harass a high school student.

What side of the battle of bowels do you want to be?

Advise Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5am guy Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hi all, 5am guy checking in a little early
> > tonight. 5am guy is working 12 hour shifts now
> > through new years. 5am guy will be working
> > Christmas eve and Christmas day.
> > 5am guy is starting to feel the rumblings of a
> > big dump coming on. 5am guy has the heater, the
> > star shower device, the scented candles and the
> > chromebook with external speakers playing whale
> > song all up and running in the men's room. 5am
> guy
> > ate a Stouffer's frozen lasagna earlier which
> was
> > probably not a good choice. 5am guy is hoping
> > everything comes out okay.
> > 5am guy wishes everyone here a happy holiday!
>
>
> Get training in some skill craft or technical
> field. Shift work doesnt pay and will kill you.
> Stop eating frozen shit foods. You know Im right
> on these. Merry Christmas and make a positive
> plan for 2018


5am guy has stated before that he is a IT guy for a big defense contractor and I bet he makes 6 figures. He simply volunteers for the graveyard shift because he has social interaction issues. Most huge data centers have to keep at least one employee on site 24/7. He has stated in the past that his employer wants him on day shift.
Seems like most IT guys have bizarre personalities.

My dad and the obese neighbor, are walking around the house naked, with a Christmas ornament attached to their junk. I really did not need to see them jump and jingle to "Jingle Bell Rock." My grandma says its just "guys being guys," but I worry that my dad is ignoring my mom while spending quality time with the fat man.

The wife just ordered Chinese food! My bowels are going to get kung fu'd by kung pow and maybe taken captive by General Tso.

boiled onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The wife just ordered Chinese food! My bowels are
> going to get kung fu'd by kung pow and maybe taken
> captive by General Tso.


Slanty eyes third world food. Prepare the harpoon.

A mess all over the living room. Cleaning my shoes. This is disgusting.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just when the superior bowel crowd is an asshole
> enough, they try to harass a high school student.
>
> What side of the battle of bowels do you want to
> be?

Keeping a young teen away from this sewer is in his best interests - if you werent a piece of shit pedophile you would get that.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
So much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detenteSo much for detente

I ate sugary cereals. What was I thinking? My poor bowels!

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I ate sugary cereals. What was I thinking? My poor
> bowels!


I make mistakes too with foods. And anxiety. Not sure if its food causing problems or stress. But good luck to you.

My dad and the obese neighbor are acting odd. My dad is dressed up as Santa Claus. The obese neighbor as the grinch. They are walking around the house portraying each character. They fart continuously and the pizza boxes are stacked up to the ceiling almost. I don't think the corn hole game they play involves bean bags.

A holliday classic
by,

Jhonny Bravo



It's the most horrible pain in my rear.
With the bathroom really smelling,
And everyone telling you,
"Stop polluting the atsmophere,"
It's the most horrible pain in my rear.

There'll be smells that are revolting,
And folks that are choking and
Running out into the snow.
There'll be clogged lavotories and
Tales of the glories of dumps taken
Long, long ago.

It's the most horrible pain in my rear.
There'll be a brown file downloading
And my starfish will be glowing,
When it finally clears.
It's the most horrible pain in my rear!

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A mess all over the living room. Cleaning my
> shoes. This is disgusting.


Sounds like you are being naughty/delicious friend. Be honest, if you are incontinent you can take steps to protect your shoes. This this happens to you almost daily by your reporting and you Fail to take any protective measures its impossible to conclude you do not intend for the mess.

Intentionally spraying feces on your shoes car and office every day is mental illness. Get help from a mental health professional soon.

This man is destroying his bowels!
Attachments:

Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A holliday classic
> by,
>
> Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
> It's the most horrible pain in my rear.
> With the bathroom really smelling,
> And everyone telling you,
> "Stop polluting the atsmophere,"
> It's the most horrible pain in my rear.
>
> There'll be smells that are revolting,
> And folks that are choking and
> Running out into the snow.
> There'll be clogged lavotories and
> Tales of the glories of dumps taken
> Long, long ago.
>
> It's the most horrible pain in my rear.
> There'll be a brown file downloading
> And my starfish will be glowing,
> When it finally clears.
> It's the most horrible pain in my rear!


Merry Christmas and well done Mr Bravo!

It is really christmassy at my house right now. One of my friends from school came by and we are playing video games, my Grandma is baking oatmeal cookies. My Dad is going to the obese neighbors house to watch football and get drunk, he is at the store now loading up on cheap beer and greasy food. We are getting Chinese food later but just steamed veggies and rice for me! Happy Christmas eve everyone (even the fake poster).

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It is really christmassy at my house right now.
> One of my friends from school came by and we are
> playing video games, my Grandma is baking oatmeal
> cookies. My Dad is going to the obese neighbors
> house to watch football and get drunk, he is at
> the store now loading up on cheap beer and greasy
> food. We are getting Chinese food later but just
> steamed veggies and rice for me! Happy Christmas
> eve everyone (even the fake poster).


Merry Christmas Spring Onion. You are an extraordinary young man. You provide us older folk with inspiration and best of holidays to you.

My dad and the obese neighbor are walking around the house in their underwear. For some reason mistletoe is in each room, and Michael Bolton's Christmas music is playing. My dad is dressed up as Santa while the fat neighbor has reindeer antlers. They definitely have issues.

My toilet water is Christmas red.

Jingle Bowels

Sitting on the bowl
With a turtle head part way
Poop is moving slow
Straining all the way
Butthole starts to sting
Squeeze with all my might
What fun it is to drop a loaf
In BO’s mouth tonight
Jingle bowels, jingle bowels, jingle all the way
Oh, what fun Brown Onion has getting showered in shit spray

Merry Christmas guys!

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all!
Attachments:

Hi all, 5am guy checking in this Christmas morning. 5am guy is at work and 5am guy will be here till 11am today then 5am guy has to be back to work by 11pm tonight. 5am guy is going to visit his Mom in the nursing home today. There is a cute Hispanic looking nurse at the nursing home that has been flirting with 5am guy and even has sent 5am guy a couple texts. 5am guy thinks this girl is not a real nurse but is a old people diaper changing kind of nurse. 5am guy has had horrific outcomes from his last two girlfriends and is a little scared of overly friendly women. Last time 5am guy saw this nurse she kissed 5am guy on the cheek and squeezed 5am guys hand.
Merry Christmas from 5am guy!

Sitting here with third world sized cement bags on the groan throne. Merry Christmas 5 am and all. Even though probably an illegal you could probably use a piece of ass. Now to work on this large industrial load that might include what's left of Santa's sack.