Continued (Part 2)
INT. FAIRFAX COUNTY CIRCUIT COURT
Eesh is dragged struggling and kicking from the room.
"EESH"
You haven't seen the last of me! I know where you live! This is a
felony!! I'm pressin' charges.........!
The judge watches calmly for a few moments, until eesh is gone. Then he turns to Miz.
REAL JUDGE
Now, tell me, MrMisery. Who is this individual "
Cary" you mentioned?
He puts on his reading glasses, sorts through the pleadings.
REAL JUDGE
You write, "Acting with a reckless and callous disregard for the
rights and safety of others, Cary permitted and empowered 'eesh' to
use Fairfax Underground as an instrument for 'eesh's' sociopathic
aggression."
Removes glasses, looks at Miz.
REAL JUDGE
What you say here reminds me of a case out of the Ninth Circuit...
The Model Mayhem case, if memory serves.
MrMISERY
Exactly, your Honor!
REAL JUDGE
(thoughtfully)
If anything, this "Cary" character seems far worse than the Model
Mayhem defendants. Do you think, Mr. Leiser, that Model Mayhem is
consistent with Virginia precedents?
PHIL LEISER
Actually, your Honor, I do. Although Model Mayhem rests on a
California precedent, Tarasoff, that Virginia does not follow, Tarasoff,
in turn, rests on larger equitable principles that
are followed in
Virginia. Thus we believe that
Thompson v. Skate (2001) and
Gupton
v. Quicke (1994), among others, lay the precedential foundation for
a Virginia equivalent to the Model Mayhem rule.
REAL JUDGE
By analogy..?
PHIL LEISER
Yes. It is a question of applying settled docrine in a new context, the
internet.
REAL JUDGE
Reasoning by analogy can be a tricky business.
PHIL LEISER
Indeed. We believe, however, that the kind of flagrant abuse of
existing law seen in the case of websites like Fairfax Underground
will lead courts to the proper rule.
Thus, as seemed to be the case in Model Mayhem, bad defendants can
make good law.
Specifically, harm done to innocent third parties by callous defendants -
harm of the kind done to my client, for example - can alert courts to
shortcomings in existing law, and to the proper direction the law must
proceed in the future.
REAL JUDGE
Should you choose to pursue this matter, I think you would be doing
a welcome service for the entire community. There has long been a
peculiar stench from that website. The First Amendment requires us
to put up with it, and indeed with far worse. Of course, any good
citizen who knows a little history accepts that. If we want freedom
of speech for ourselves, we cannot deny it to others. But the First
Amendment has never countenanced such matters as perjury,
defamation, or true threats. It did not countenance publication
of the book
Hit Man, and nor should it countenance new forms of
tortious behavior that are emerging with the growth of the internet.
MrMISERY
(timidly)
Your Honor...?
REAL JUDGE
Yes, "MrMisery"?
MrMISERY
When I was preparing for this case, I came across a remark by
Thomas Jefferson which I think is...
or may be... ...nawwww...
He stops and looks at the floor, his face turning pink with embarrassment.
REAL JUDGE
(kindly)
Please, go ahead, "MrMisery". You've piqued my interest.
MrMISERY
Well, I, uh, I knew a man named Bill, worked construction, up on
those steel beams... you know the ones... he worked way up high
on steel beams...
(laughs)
Sorry, I got confused for a moment. I'm kind of hungry and I was
just thinking... in my back pocket, this mashed-up jelly donut, and I...
Sorry. Where was I?
Oh, yeah. Jefferson. I saw this remark by Jefferson somewhere, and
it really stuck with me.
He wrote, and I quote. “I am not an advocate for frequent changes in
laws and institutions. But laws and institutions must go hand in hand
with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed,
more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, and new truths uncovered,
manners and opinions change. And with the change of circumstances,
institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times.
“
We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which
fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever
unchanged under a regime of laws that have outlived their
purpose.”
End of quote. And, well, what you said about the First Amendment and
Fairfax Underground, it made me think of that quote.
REAL JUDGE
An apt citation. Thank you, "MrMisery."
I recall that late in Jefferson's life he was deeply troubled by the
fierce struggle that took place over the admission of Missouri as a
slave state. He called it "a fire bell in the night" that filled him
with terror. It was, he thought, the death knell of the Union,
with the Missouri Compromise being only a temporary reprieve.
Jefferson was quite right. His vision of the coming Civil War was
chillingly prophetic.
We may have heard a little fire bell of our own today. To the extent the
law allows a website like Fairfax Underground to be used as an
instrument for sociopathic aggression - as, it would seem, Cary has
both enabled and permitted "eesh" to do - you are no longer dealing
with questions of "free speech." You're --
MrMISERY
(blurts out)
You're shitting on free speech. And if you love free speech, you don't
shit on it!
REAL JUDGE
Well, I wouldn't have put it quite that way myself, but I think that's
exactly right, "MrMisery"!
SUDDENLY AN OLD MAN
in the back of the court room stands up and begins to clap.
After a few moments, several other courtroom observers do likewise.
MIZ'S MOTHER AND FATHER AND SISTER
begin to applaud.
AS DO THE ATTORNEYS...
the stenographer... the bailiff... and the judge, who casts a beneficient,
Harry Carey-like smile on Miz.
CLOSE ON MrMISERY
who seems a bit overwhelmed by this unexpected burst of affirmation.
Perhaps, for a few moments, he might be better described as Mr. Happiness.
CUT TO:
INT. "EESH'S" BEDROOM
"Eesh" sits at his computer taking deep breaths, composing himself. Finally he begins to type.
INSERT - COMPUTER SCREEN
We read "eesh's" words as they are typed.
"EESH'S" TYPEWRITTEN WORDS
I came, I saw, I conquered. Contrary to any rumors you may have
heard, justice triumphed today. I kicked MrMisery and his rich
lawyer's ass. I --
The CLICKING of the keyboard abruptly stops.
Eesh stares at the screen for a moment with a blank expression.
Then suddenly:
"EESH"
FUCK!
With some difficulty, he picks up the monitor, yanking violently at the cords. He finally gets it loose and
hurls it across the room. It crashes into the wall and lands on the floor in a heap. Then he falls back into
his chair, emotionally and psychologically exhausted.
"EESH"
Fuck... Fuck him. Fuck that little shit.
Beat.
"EESH"
FUCK!!!
After a moment, he pulls his cell phone from his pocket, punches in a number, and presses it to his ear.
"EESH"
Cary...?
He starts to cry.
"EESH"
I fucked up. It's bad, really bad.
CUT TO:
INT. CARY'S APARTMENT
The room is completely dark except for the cold blue light of a single computer monitor that Cary sits
in front of. We cannot see his face; he is a black silhouette against the light of the monitor.
For several long moments he says nothing. All we hear is the unnaturally loud, almost Darth Vader-ish
sound of his BREATHING.
"EESH'S" VOICE
(through Cary's cell phone)
Cary, the judge. This fucking
asshole. ...He mentioned your name.
CARY
God damn you, Basl. Do I have to do
everything for you? Wipe
your fucking ass?
"EESH'S" VOICE
(through Cary's cell phone)
Cary, please. I can help you... You
know I can help you. Just one
more chance. Please. I will not let you down. I'll
kill him if I have --
CARY
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
(takes a deep breah)
We can't talk about this on the phone. Meet me --
"EESH'S" VOICE
(through Cary's cell phone)
Under the plasma?
CARY
Yes. And bring the Mossberg Chainsaw.
"EESH'S" VOICE
(excited)
The Chainsaw?! You got it, boss. And the horse mask? Can I bring the --
CARY
(cutting him off)
Bring a clown mask. That would be more appropriate.
"EESH'S" VOICE
Boss,
please.... I said I was sorry.
CARY
Actually, you didn't. Bring the fucking mask if it makes you happy..
"EESH'S" VOICE
Thank you, Boss, thanks. I --
Cary disconnects, drops the cell into the breast pocket of
his short-sleeve, button-down shirt.
We slowly zoom in on Cary's face, deep in thought. The light from the computer monitor has
turned red, giving his features, lit from below, a slightly demonic cast. He purses his lips as
though chewing something sour.
CARY
(almost a whisper)
So be it.
He stands.
CUT TO:
INT. CHUCKHOFFMAN'S SURVEILLANCE ROOM
The room is crowded with a haphazard mix of old-school and cutting edge technology. Chuck is working
a reel-to-reel tape recorder. He reverses the tape with a squealing-jabbering sound. Stops.
He cranks the volume, leans forward, and hits play.
CARY'S VOICE
(over the speakers)
So be it.
He rewinds the tape, plays it again, listening with great concentration.
He stops the tape. Frowns.
He selects a key from the retractable keychain ring clipped to his belt, ulocks the top right drawer
of his desk. He removes a revolver, and a small cardboard box of bullets. He loads the gun methodically,
shuts the chamber with a flip of the wrist, and slips the gun into his pants pocket.
He stands, looking at an old photo of a young woman thumbtacked to the wall. He brushes his thumb
lightly across her cheek.
CHUCK
I'm sorry honey. I know I can never make it right. But if you're up
there, say a little prayer for me. I'm about to do something crazy.
I'm going to kill the devil.
CUT TO:
INT. CLYDE'S, RESTON TOWNE CENTRE
The door swings open.
Enter TheNorthman.
CUT TO:
INT. INKA'S HOT ROD (MOVING)
Inkahootz, right hand firmly on the wheel, trance/hip-hop music BLASTING.
INKA'S LEFT HAND
rests in his lap, loosely holding a nickel-plated revolver.
CUT TO:
EXT./INT. CAR
"Eesh" lies in wait one-half block from the entrance to CLYDE'S.
CUT TO:
EXT. CLYDE'S - LATER
Having received a mysterious invitation via pm from Hoocoodanode,
MrMISERY approaches the entrance to Clyde's.
The "spoofed" pm was sent by "eesh," who approaches Miz from behind with the Mossberg.
CUT TO:
EXT. ALLEY
Cary corners "eesh" in a dead-end alley - failure to complete the Miz job spells the end of the line for "eesh".
Cary's CIA handler watches with approval
CUT TO:
INT. APARTMENT
Meanwhile far away in another part of town, the doors and windows have been sealed.
There will be no escape.
CUT TO:
FAIRFAX - 3:00 A.M.
A cold wind blows over the mean streets of Fairfax.
Fade to black.
PS:
Miz gets a happy ending.
Cary develops new and interesting ways of removing "garbarge"
TheNorthman finds his sleep interrupted by disturbing visions. He ages badly.
Chuck receives a mysterious ticket for a luxurious pleasure cruise, upon which, alas, an albatross descends
Inkahootz finds happiness as a carpenter