Shut up or I'll brush your teeth with a brick and stuff my aardvark in your ass
Forum: Off-Topic

Give them a couple tablespoons of tartar sauce to go with all that fish they are about to eat. (Just typing that made me feel creepy)
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Cut that savages hand off on the spot and he will never steal again. I've been to places overseas where jewelry shop owners will actually leave their stores unattended for short periods of time because the laws do such a nice job at discouraging this type of behavior.
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I was considering selling meth to kids, spending my days drunk and high instead of working, and assaulting people whenever the opportunity presents itself so that I would be considered respectable, but the pressure was too much.
Forum: Fairfax County General

Manasshole is correct and Army Corps is wrong. Bush was not at fault for the Dike system failure. I believe the dike system should be implemented wherever there is the potential for disaster. Dikes are loyal and hard workers. Due to all the criticism brought on by their lifestyle, they have a tendency to overcompensate as a defense mechanism. They are also usual very strong. (perfect for carrying
Forum: Fairfax County General

DO NOT GO TO KILROYS, WHATEVER YOU DO! Not unless you want your larynx ripped out by some mullet headed biker that looks like Patrick Swayze.
Forum: Fairfax County General

Take her to dinner at Joes Crab Shack or Legal Seafood and then give her a nipple check.
Forum: Off-Topic

^Translation...crabs
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Goats need love too!...do goats like peanutbutter?
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You can probably get a job blowing leaves around my condo development on any given morning when I am trying to sleep in, but, be warned, I'm eventually going to snap and stagger outside in my underwear and stab the closest spaniard in the neck with a broken beer bottle.
Forum: Fairfax County General

Midgetville was torn down and developed. Probably a buncha homeless midgets at the Lamb Center now. At least they cost less tax dollars to feed. Lol
Forum: Fairfax County General

Darwin is a truck.
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Oh boy....I recently got engaged. I hope this doesn't happen to me. Penis is a deal breaker. I should've checked. Thanks a lot Eesh, I'll never sleep tonight!
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Midgetville Vienna https://www.flickr.com/photos/8503162@N02/sets/72157600270358668/
Forum: Fairfax County General

Careful where you point your stinky starfish when walking by a teenage girl with crazy hormones. I hope he kicked her in the vajayjay and power tea bagged her.
Forum: Off-Topic

Jesus built my hot rod.
Forum: Fairfax County General

Looks like he found our secret discreet Fords Fish Shack hangout.
Forum: Fairfax County General

They would like to take credit for Sizzurp/Purple Drank, but I was chugging 8oz do Robotussin DM in the 80's. I do believe they were at the very least, the inspiration for Velcro.
Forum: Off-Topic

I'm trying to get my name back. Cary said I could have it, but I am not sure how to register it. Keeps saying it is taken. Thanks Manasshole! I have traded my FB addiction for this dark and gritty group of sociopaths. Kinda like giving up weed for crack. I'm very proud of my decision.
Forum: Off-Topic

I use an old Coleman thermos for my trouser hog. Once it's full, I pass it off to the homeless savages at the lamb center as chicken broth. They love that shit!
Forum: Fairfax County General

Gunlover beat me to it. Dennis Rodman is the obvious answer. His funkified twist on foreign relations make him the clear choice as our premier ambassador.
Forum: Off-Topic