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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Ray Cammack ()
Date: March 04, 2018 09:00AM

wtf over .............. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What the fuck is up with this thread? God damn
> people. Stop already. Bashing on Mike and Rob was
> one thing but this shit has gotten out of control.


[/IMG]http://www.dirtyshack.com/media/thumbs/5/7/5/f/c/575fc9e1c179d-4413.mp4/575fc9e1c179d-4413.mp4-3b.jpg[/IMG]

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: March 04, 2018 09:03AM

902...Semper peekza










































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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: TMOS is the Bestest Ever! ()
Date: March 04, 2018 10:38AM

then tell your fellow klubbers and lubbers to stop posting in a transparent effort to derail it -- and then we'd likely lose interest in posting about how crappy TMOS and Mike and Spewak are. as long as we know we're getting to the klub, we'll keep it going.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Hey, apostrophe S face! ()
Date: March 04, 2018 10:50AM

Ray Cammack Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> wtf over .............. Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > What the fuck is up with this thread? God damn
> > people. Stop already. Bashing on Mike and Rob
> was
> > one thing but this shit has gotten out of
> control.
>
>
> [/IMG]http://www.dirtyshack.com/media/thumbs/5/7/5
> /f/c/575fc9e1c179d-4413.mp4/575fc9e1c179d-4413.mp4
> -3b.jpg[/IMG]


Nice try, Ray. You were sooooo close to doing something correctly, in one sense.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: miscavage ()
Date: March 04, 2018 11:20AM

I only like watching men poop, I'm not into eating or smearing. The sign of anus stretching to accommodate the load really gets me going. The thought of how much relief the person is having [when they are] able to finally release is amazing to me.

I am married, but pooping for me does not turn on my partner. However, he gets really turned on knowing I get really excited.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 04, 2018 11:38AM

902...Semper Star
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: TMOS is the Bestest Ever! ()
Date: March 04, 2018 11:43AM

one of those persons who are NOT the love of Mike's life

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Big Shoota ()
Date: March 04, 2018 01:41PM

I've think I've seen that pool on Pornhub...

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: March 04, 2018 02:32PM

Jen Ettix Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 902...Semper peekza

We don't know that peekza has a shit encrusted dildo but we DO know that the poster has a shit encrusted dildo. I don't have a shit encrusted dildo. Do you have a shit encrusted dildo? Is it normal to have a shit encrusted dildo as the poster does?

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Roxy Music (Redux) ()
Date: March 04, 2018 05:19PM

(Feat. Gallagher)

Yesterday, when it seemed so cool
When I walked you home, kissed goodnight
I said, "It's love", you said, "Alright"
It's funny how, I could never cry
Until tonight, when you pass by
Hand in hand with another guy
You're dressed to kill and guess who's dying

Smash away the heartache
Smash away the tears
Smash away the heartache
Smash away the fear
Smash away

Loneliness is a crowded room
Full of open hearts turned to stone
All together, all alone
All at once my whole world had changed
Now I'm in the dark, off the wall
Lit the strobe light up the wall
I close my eyes and Smash till dawn

Smash away the heartache
Smash away the tears
Smash away the heartache
Smash away the fear
Smash away, Smash away, Smash away

Now I know I must walk the line
Until I find an open door
Off the street or onto the floor
There was I, many times a fool
I hoped and prayed but not too much
Out of reach is out of touch
All the way is far enough

Smash away the heartache
Smash away the tears
Smash away the heartache
Smash away the fears
Smash away the heartache
Smash away the tears
Smash away the heartache
Smash away the fears
Smash away the heartache
Smash away the tears
Smash away the heartache
Smash away the fears


$$$$

NB: it ain't me posting the dildo/shit pix, or scroll trolling. I try to keep it classy, like Gallagher.




$$$
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: TMOS is the Bestest Ever! ()
Date: March 04, 2018 06:40PM

Spewak in a smart car = O'Meara in a Porsche

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Fattt Robbb's Stupidity ()
Date: March 04, 2018 08:20PM

It's pronounced "Porshesha"!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Cary and Carla ()
Date: March 04, 2018 08:33PM

Carla: As the Oscars are on, I am reminded I thought I could turn Mike into sort of a Casey Affleck by making him go vegan. (Meanwhile, he is still pretending to know nothing about our oh so mysteriously disappearing peanut butter cups).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/04/2018 08:42PM by Cary and Carla.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jarla's Pussy Full of Reese's ()
Date: March 04, 2018 10:10PM

Brain Damage is already an alcoholic, are you trying to turn him into a rapist? I don't think he has that level of effort in him. Does stuff from Iguanamart not count against the veganism? Their menu does look delicious.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Depeche Mode ()
Date: March 04, 2018 11:09PM

(Feat. Gallagher)


Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Gallagher
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Gallagher
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there
Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Gallagher
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Gallagher
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there
Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver
Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Gallagher
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out reach out
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 05, 2018 05:32AM

Found some great quotes from Gallagher's seminal Mad as Hell concert (1981). The great the about the G-man is his material never ages: it's just as thought provoking 37 years on as it was at the time. Please enjoy.

And remember, G-man's birthday's in July. Let's do it up nice!


$$$$

Gallagher: Well, you gotta get mad about this stuff. I'm doing all the gettin' mad for all you people. Why ain't you mad Christmas don't come at a better time of the year? It comes right in the middle of the holidays, when you're busy.

$

Gallagher: Why do people who are clever and intelligent use their cleverness and their intelligence to get out of work?

Man in audience: That's why they're clever.

Gallagher: No it isn't. That's why they're fat.

$

Gallagher: Now if it ain't sex, what is it gang? Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer. You ain't American unless you drinkin' a beer. All the time, have a beer. Damn it, any damn time is the time for Bud. Bull shit.

[audience laughs]

Gallagher: Traffic court.

[audience laughs]

Gallagher: "Wait a minute, judge. Let me pop a cool one.

[mimes opening a beer can]

Gallagher: Weavin'? I can't even knit."

$

Gallagher: Well, ain't it stupid? I guess I get mad over stuff I shouldn't get mad about. But look at this Memorex commercial we've been watching for years. Now, is it any mystery that it's the tape? I mean, it's a Memorex commercial. What good would it do to go, "It was live! It was Ella! We didn't need the damn tape!" I don't know.

$

Gallagher: See, we're nuts. We buy weights, put 'em in the garage, have an electric garage door opener.

$

Gallagher: You ever decide to run a yellow light and a guy in front of you chickens out? That'll put a spot on the front seat.

$

Gallagher: I don't want you to get the idea that I experiment with drugs, cause I don't. I'm into full-scale research.

$

Gallagher: Now just cause God made it don't mean it's perfect. God made flyin' squirrels. Why? So they could swoop down and surprise unsuspecting acorns?
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Double Feature ()
Date: March 05, 2018 06:35AM

(818) 219-9890

Since you guys insist on talking about TMOS from time-to-time (thankfully less frequently than before), it'd be cool if TMOS reached out to Gallagher. The number above can make that dream come true.
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Robb blobb ()
Date: March 05, 2018 07:25AM

Finally, this thread has changed direction! Was getting really tired reading all the same old boring shit that has alreasy been said 10000 times before.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Finally ()
Date: March 05, 2018 07:31AM

A safe space for us lovers of real comedy - and Gallagher! We are legion!!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: concerned hubby ()
Date: March 05, 2018 11:30AM

Wifey is constipated and hasnt shit in 3 days. Ive placed rosin in all the bathrooms for the grab bars and asked the plumber to tighten the bolts on the industrial steel toilets. Pretty sure its Chinese steel.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: nog cock2 ()
Date: March 05, 2018 11:40AM

Summary: A Spock squicked by anuses approaches his first time penetrating Jim with both apprehension and anticipation.
Written in Starbucks to the fanfic100 prompt "Insides".
Inside Jim
Kirk/Spock by Farfalla; rated R
Inside Jim.
Soon, I will be with him in a way I have never before experienced, in a way that many humans deem to be the most profound of all sexual activities. Soon, we will become so close that our bodies will overlap, occupying the same physical space in the universe. It is the closest physical equivalent of the Vulcan mind-meld, and I anticipate that it has potential to be as physically rewarding as the mind-meld is mentally rewarding.

However, I am not with my apprehensions.

I have considered myself a scientist since my father walked me through designing my first experiment at the age of four, testing each trinket and seed I found around the house to see if it would float or sink in a basin of water. And no scientist of biology can easily be ignorant of the immense microbial cosmos that exists within the human rectum.

It is not that I find Jim unclean, unsuitable, it is merely that... I find his internal microflora distasteful. After all, I fell in love with *him*, not them. And I do not consider them one unit, as if they were colony organisms like the Terran algae Volvox.

He has been very patient with me. I originally believed that I should not consider him as a potential mate, because I know that many human male-male romances commonly include anal penetration. I knew, or thought I knew at the time, that I would never want to participate in any sexual act involving the anus, and concluded that it would be unfair for me to involve Jim in a relationship that would not satisfy this need of his.

I was foolish, of course, because the compatibility of our minds proved far stronger than this minor incompatibility of sexual tastes. Like any scientist, I welcome the possibility that I have been wrong. Gloriously wrong, in this instance, for Jim is the great joy of my life.

Jim has done without anal intercourse quite amiably, although I am sure he does things of which I have no desire to know the details when he is alone in the shower. However, although he never speaks of his unsatisfied need, I know it is there. I feel it when we meld.

It is a testament to the enormity of my affection for him that I have recently reconsidered my decision to refrain from anal play. Nevertheless, several more months passed before I discussed it with Jim. I had gone from being unwilling to participate in such acts to willing to experiment as long as I was properly gloved, as if I were in the lab, and possibly also inside the bathtub. This seemed perfectly logical to me, since bacteria such as E. coli are potentially lethal, but I feared Jim's reaction to my aseptic request. I did not want him to feel rejected in any way, or that I felt he was unwashed.

I should not have worried. Jim accepted my compromise with his characteristic amiability and a smile that rose my body temperature one point two degrees.

And so, I will be inside Jim soon. I will give him everything he needs the way he gives me everything that I need in a partner. And I am relieved that my scientific nature does not anger or hurt him--but then again, his acceptance of my nature is the first reason I love him.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: nog cock2 ()
Date: March 05, 2018 11:41AM

Captain Kirk proudly entered the room, surveying the diverse crowd before him. His stiff blue jacket was impeccably brushed, his shirt white and elegantly frilled at the collar, and his boots bore his manly stride with solid competence. He smiled at those he met, proud to command the finest ship that ever sailed the salty seas.
Actually, Cadet Jim Kirk had borrowed these clothes, and he had just walked into a Halloween party. Someday, he hoped he really would captain a ship, but for now, he was just a Starfleet Academy student with a geeky passion for historical adventure who had decided to spend the evening at yet another icebreaker. It was a month and a half into the semester--his first season in San Francisco--and he had indeed met many interesting new people, but he still hadn't met anyone with whom he genuinely clicked.

The room was dimly lit and the illumination spotty, colored, and moving. As he moved through the crowd, he wished he could see the costumes of his fellow celebrants more clearly. He wondered if anybody else was dressed in period garb; women's costumes of the Age of Sail had tight bodices which displayed the feminine accoutrements to fine advantage.

The music was loud and thrillingly rhythmic, and it made him want to dance, but the room was so crowded that he could barely tell who was with whom, and who was alone and available for a flirtation. He bobbed to the music subtly and passed slowly through the molasses of the feathered, beaded, and masked group of dancers.

He moved without direction, and found himself approaching the back of a guy in ordinary black formal wear. The thought flitted through his head that it seemed like not much of a costume--that is, until the guy turned to face him. Wow! A Vulcan! Now *that* was a creative costume. And of course, the lights were dim and flashing weirdly, but from what Jim could see it seemed like a pretty convincing make-up job.

He was very attractive. Suddenly Jim wasn't thinking about Marie Antoinette anymore. He opened his mouth to ask the other man if he wanted to dance, especially because the guy had looked a little bit lost and possibly intimidated in the crowd, but when he leaned his head closer to be heard over the music, the other spoke first. "Early nineteenth-century American naval officer?"

Jim blinked, surprised. "Yes!" he beamed, smiling. He was stunned that someone else at this party could identify the origins of his meticulously constructed costume.

"It resembles those I saw in a painting earlier today," the other man explained, "in a museum."

"I like you already," Jim quipped. He eyed the simple black suit, the pointed ears, the exotically slanted eyebrows. "Vulcan?"

The other man nodded. "This is my first Academy party. I have only been here fifty-five days."

"This is my first year here, too," said Jim sympathetically. "Hey, d'you want to dance with me? I'm the captain of the ship, you know." He winked.

"Will the Acts of War permit it?"

Jim's jaw dropped. Though the other man's face hadn't betrayed the slightest hint of amusement, he had just said something incredibly funny--and the best part of it was that Jim would have bet that he, the naval history buff, was the only person in the room who would have gotten the joke. "That's British. I'm American, remember?"

Their bounces to the music moved them closer to each other. Jim held the other man's eyes with his gaze, thinking for a moment how unusually large and gleaming they were. He wondered if that were simply an illusion due to the false eyebrows. "That's a great costume. You look great in it."

"Thank you," said the other man shyly, clearly flattered, if slightly confused.

"The best part is that you really have the Vulcan facial expression down pat," Jim continued, sidling slightly closer forward. "You must be the calmest person in here!" For some reason, his comment seemed to unnerve the man slightly, at which point he suddenly remembered he hadn't yet introduced himself. "I'm Jim, by the way. Jim Kirk--I'm from Iowa."

"My name is Spock. My mother is from Chicago."

"Ah." Jim nodded. "No wonder you like museums. I bet you grew up going to the Field Museum all the time."

"Iowa's landlocked. Why the navy?" Spock observed.

"Love sailing--ocean or space. Can't wait to get back in space."

"Back?"

"Yes, I--"

At this point, the lights dimmer further and changed to a mix of purples and blues. The hyper beats of the music melted into a mellow ballad with deep bass, and the teeming mass on the dance floor coagulated into couples.

Spock seemed a bit unsure, but Jim gently took hold of Spock's upper arms with both hands. He leaned his head closer to Spock's ear where he knew he'd be heard without shouting, and said, "I love to slow-dance." He moved his arms around Spock's body and held him in a comfortable embrace.

Tentatively, Spock's arms came up around his back in response. "It is relaxing," he said into Jim's ear, tickling it slightly. It made Jim shiver.

Spock didn't actually seem relaxed at all--beneath Jim's hands, his body felt like a hardened, tightened muscle. Jim ran his fingers up and down Spock's spine, and accepted the trembling it elicited as a minor victory.

The sweet moment lasted a short while longer, and then the pace of the music picked up again. Without moving away from Spock again, Jim began to grind his body suggestively, playfully. As Spock got used to this, Jim turned around in his arms, so that his back was to him. He pulled Spock's arms around his waist and held the other man's hands comfortably across his belly.

Jim smiled into the orange and yellow disco lights. He was aroused and happy--and the pleasant bulge he could feel against his ass indicated that Spock was having fun as well. He shimmied against it, wondering if his tight, cream-colored navy costume trousers were making his erection obvious to the rest of the room.

Confident that anyone who shocked easily wouldn't be at this particular party, Jim let himself fill to full arousal. He encouraged the sensation by concentrating on Spock's hard penis, thinking about how badly he wanted to turn around and touch it. At the same time, he was enjoying feeling it nudging his ass, and wanted to feel it there as long as he could. The music's heavy, dense beats and Spock's subtly squeezing hands on his stomach energized his gyrations further, and he could feel the other man's warm breath creeping across his neck.

The song ended and blended nearly seamlessly into a less favorable bit of music. Jim tilted his head back slightly against Spock's shoulder. "I'm getting thirsty. You want to go get some water?"

"Before we become dehydrated," Spock agreed, and they peeled their sweaty bodies away from each other. Jim snagged Spock's hand inside his own and led him out of the crowd.

There was a dispenser with recyclable cups in a nearby lounge, and Jim began guzzling the cool, refreshing water as fast as he could. Spock simply stood there beside him, breathing deeply away from the stuffy air on the dance floor. When Jim had gone through three or four cups, he put the cup in the recycling slot and turned to Spock.

He fully intended to say something--sweet, flirtatious, complimentary, geeky, witty, intelligent, mysterious--anything. But somehow, the deep look in Spock's eyes and the way their fingers were gently intwining, and the fact that they were still extremely hard, propelled them closer without another word.

The kiss was like water ballet--slow, graceful, choreographed. There was no tongue, at first--Jim sensed that perhaps Spock had never gone there before, and was content to let him lead to his greater comfort. They sucked on each other's lips gently and quietly, there in the half-lit, empty lounge.

Somehow without having Spock communicate to him in any open way, Jim knew that his companion wanted more. He slid his tongue easily into Spock's mouth, and Spock's tongue emerged to greet it. Jim sucked it into his mouth and closed his eyes.

And then, Jim had a tremendous feeling that Spock really, ~really~ wanted to take him home. Wondering if he was imagining things, just blowing an educated hunch out of proportion, he moved his mouth close to one of those pointed ears. "Hey," he purred, "let's go someplace." He didn't know why his little hunches were becoming so insistent, but he was glad for the assurance--however irrational--that his overtures were welcome, especially since Spock seemed a bit hesitant on first glance.

Holding hands the whole time, they ran like little boys across the Academy campus to Spock's dorm room. The grass was dewy with fallen fog, but the sky was clear and the stars shone brightly. Jim looked up at them with a smirk as he scampered, as if to say to them happily, Look at us!

Everyone in Spock's dorm was either asleep, out, or at the party, so luckily there was nobody there to give Jim funny looks for being dressed like a refugee from the War of 1812. When Spock keyed open his door, the two young men hurried inside, eager to carry out further physical exploration now that they had some privacy.

The room was already dimly lit by a small lamp in the corner, and they started kissing again so quickly that they forgot to turn on any other light. Spock's bed was unusually firm but covered up by something sleek and soft and Jim found himself horizontal on it before he knew it. He pulled Spock's lean body down across his and grabbed his ass, hard, with all ten fingers.

Then he remembered something. "I hate to interrupt this, because you're so hot, and this is so much fun, but before we continue I really should get out of this costume before I wrinkle it any more."

Spock pried his lips from Jim's neck and raised an eyebrow. "Logical." He climbed off the bed and treated Jim to his best coat hanger, then watched with an appreciative eye as the shirt and the pants joined their colleagues in Spock's closet. Spock, too, undressed, revealing a hairier chest than Jim had been expecting.

When Spock came back to the bed, Jim explored that hair with a few of his fingers. He had only been with one guy before, in high school, and he'd been practically hairless. Jim played for a while until it became conspicuous that he was paying attention to it. "You are not accustomed to this amount of body hair?" Spock asked.

"No, my... high school boyfriend wasn't like this at all." Jim ran his hand through the hair again.

"Do you like it?"

"I wasn't expecting it, but it's cool," Jim asserted. "It looks good on your, anyway. I like touching you."

"May I--" Spock cast his eyes downward across Jim's body, giving Jim a throbbingly beautiful view of his lush eyelashes, "--touch you?" He let the verb carry the full significance intended.

"I'm all yours!" Jim opened his legs slightly, invitingly.

Spock's hand traveled across Jim's torso and over his hip, and came to rest comfortably at the base of Jim's penis. Carefully, not so much timid as merely exacting, he grasped the firm skin and let it rest, warm and full, within his hand. His fingers curled around it and he began to move them in squeezing motions.

Jim sighed and groped in the air, reaching for Spock reciprocally.

They lay down, snug in a twin bed which was really too narrow to contain two lanky cadets, but they didn't care at the moment because it pushed them closer together. There were no words as they stroked and fondled each other--only soft groans and hard gasps, soft kisses and hard dicks. Jim grabbed and pulled on Spock's intimate places quite attentively, and somewhere in the back of his mind he noted that something about his new friend's genitals was... different from what he was used to. He assumed in his (quite understandable) distraction that it was simply a new human shape he hadn't come across yet.

The pressure built in their lower bodies, and their jerking hands moved faster and tighter. Together, they crashed headlong into orgasm. Spock kept his hand on Jim's dick and felt it throb, whereas Jim moved his hand to the head so he could catch Spock's semen. He played with its stickiness, and his dick throbbed a bit longer than usual because of the substance there across his fingers.

The air calmed. "That was... damn good," Jim drawled lazily, leaning his head on Spock's warm shoulder. Hot, actually. Spock's body was hotter than he'd expected--and not just in the sense of being sexually enticing.

"Pleasing..." Spock said quietly. He seemed at peace.

Jim nibbled his way along Spock's neck up to one ear, and sucked his earlobe gently. "You still have your ears on," he observed, nipping his way around the ear. And then suddenly all at once he realized what he'd said, and what was in his mouth--and who was in his arms. Spock seemed to tense up even before the words were out of his mouth. "Wait a minute, those ARE your ears."

Spock wriggled like an ornery cat in Jim's arms, but Jim put all his strength into holding him down on the bed. "Spock, calm down."

"You are mad at me."

"I'm not mad," Jim corrected. "I'm... actually kind of excited. I'd never even *kissed* an alien before tonight. Are you... really Vulcan?"

"Half." Spock seemed to be trying to will himself dead.

"Wow. What a neat mix!" Jim hugged him, with his whole body, like a little kid. "No wonder I liked you so quickly."

"I was pretending to be something I am not," said Spock, still flagellating himself.

"What--smart? Funny? Sweet? There's no way you could fake the personality that swept me off my feet back there." Jim kissed Spock's cheek, then his neck. "Why were you pretending in the first place?"

"It was not my intention, but when you mistook my... features as a costume, I--I found I did want to spend time with you."

"And you were afraid I wouldn't want to talk to you if I knew you weren't fully human?" Jim frowned. "I guess there are some people like that here, but I'm not one of them. Never have been."

"I could not be certain of that," Spock explained. "There have been... problems."

"I'm sorry about that," said Jim. "You're not really from Chicago, are you?"

"I said my mother is from Chicago," said Spock. "*I* am from Shikahr, the capital city of the planet Vulcan."

"You did say that, didn't you." Jim smirked, and kissed Spock on the nose. Spock was beginning to calm down, at least from the way his body felt in Jim's arms, but there was still more he was holding back. Jim knew a little bit about Vulcans and took a wild guess. "By the way, was I reading your mind tonight, or was that just my imagination?"

It took Spock a few moments to answer. "I sent a few of my wishes to you as unconscious messages. Forgive me for the intrusion."

"Forgive you? That was great! It gave me so much confidence to have such a strong gut feeling that my overtures were so... *wanted*. I don't know if I would have been as comfortable asking for as much as I did, otherwise."

"I could not bring myself to express my desires openly. I found I could not resist the temptation to express my desires in a way that was more natural to me, as a Vulcan," Spock explained. "I only projected. I did not examine your thoughts or feelings."

"Well, I thought I was making them pretty clear without that." Jim grinned. "I really do like you."

"I like you very much as well," Spock answered. "I hope you understand how sincere I am when I say I would not be here otherwise." He looked down across the bed. "I am not in the habit of participating in spontaneous sexual activity."

"We can plan it next time. I'll take you on a real Earth-style date." Jim noticed that his hand was still full of Spock's cum, so he industriously licked his fingers clean. He winked at Spock to deflect any possible brow-wrinkling at his action. "San Francisco has a lot of great places to go visit--especially if you're with someone special."

"That would be agreeable," said Spock. "My nature does not mesh well with this human custom of dancing in a darkly-lit room packed with of sexually aroused strangers."

"That's only one of the many ways humans have fun together," said Jim. "Next time, you can show me some of the Vulcan ways."

"Do you play kal-toh?" Spock asked.

"No, but I do play chess," Jim replied. "Perhaps you can teach me."

"And you can help me to better understand humans," Spock countered. "For example--" He raised his eyebrow and nodded his head slightly toward Jim's glistening hand. "--is excess semen customarily ingested following orgasm? They do not teach human sexual practices in Vulcan texts."

Jim chuckled. "No, that's... just something I like. I don't know why."

"Perhaps your body is deficient in salt, and it causes you to find salty substances appetizing."

"Mmmm.... I love having a naked nerd in my arms."

"I cannot disagree with that statement."

"Here--I'll tell you something about most humans after sex--or at least, that I know about, anyway. We get hungry."

"That is logical," said Spock. "A great deal of energy has been exerted."

"Would you like to go grab a midnight snack with me?"

"My body requires food as well. But you will have to borrow my clothing--or else continue to dress as Horatio Hornblower."

Jim grinned. "It's still Halloween, and I want to get more mileage out of those clothes."

"You look very handsome in them."

"Thank you! Your costume, too, was... very becoming."

"I did not have a costume," Spock reminded him.

"Sure you did." Jim got out of bed and stretched his beautiful body. "You had the best costume at the party! Nobody else was dressed--as a human."

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 05, 2018 12:08PM

Onward to 903

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: March 05, 2018 12:14PM

22:50 through 24:00 Brain Damage says "The fact is" 3 times in just over a minute. No alarm.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: 'Oh The Humanity' ()
Date: March 05, 2018 12:14PM

I agree with the above comment

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Ex JFKer ()
Date: March 05, 2018 12:34PM

Who do we think would have a skinny hairy Asian fetish and thinks Gallagher is funny and relevant. Oh, and now he likes Star Trek.....

Guesses?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 05, 2018 12:53PM

The guy who knocked up Robb's Mommo in the backseat at a drive-in?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Big Shoota ()
Date: March 05, 2018 01:14PM

Torn Pentacle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 22:50 through 24:00 Brain Damage says "The fact
> is" 3 times in just over a minute. No alarm.

because Robbb....

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: MOMTrueAmericanHero ()
Date: March 05, 2018 04:13PM

evoltion of man
Attachments:
robb spewak pig boy.jpg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Big Shoota ()
Date: March 05, 2018 04:18PM

no bonus show last week? Guess I'll have to keep sucking...

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 05, 2018 04:48PM

The promo was Robb listing the contents of his fridge...again

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: elvis pillowcase and duvet, etc. ()
Date: March 05, 2018 05:01PM

Spewak says he literally fell asleep during Oscars.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: PYBS ()
Date: March 05, 2018 05:04PM

Bobby Flayton says "I wish Robb would shmear cream cheese all over his body and let the listeners top their bagels with his
creamy goodness."

-Can you imagine?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: spewakked ()
Date: March 05, 2018 08:00PM

elvis pillowcase and duvet, etc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Spewak says he literally fell asleep during
> Oscars.


Well, I figuratively fall asleep every time he pries himself into a TMOS conversation.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher at The Blender ()
Date: March 05, 2018 08:21PM

I have a soft spot in my heart for carnivals, side shows, state fairs, and the like. I was looking for something to do Friday night (before I left for Austin), and The Onion had a listing for Gallagher--yes, the guy who smashes watermelons. I thought it might be amusing and maybe even mildly entertaining, but I did go as an anthropologist would: to observe a strange and unknown culture. Little did I know it would turn out to be one of the most astonishing shows I had ever seen. And not in a good way.

The show was at the Blender Theater, a rock club (formerly a movie theater--I had seen a movie there probably 15 years ago) that had been covered in plastic for the show. Things started badly---there were only two mics onstage, and they couldn't get either one to work. And I mean for about five minutes. Finally, after Gallagher started tracing out the mic cable himself, a guy ran down from the console and, yes, plugged the cable in.

Gallagher then went on to tell the audience that he had sold 200 tickets, but that the promoters had basically saddled him with an additional comedy group, and that group had sold 100 tickets. So he introduced them and the first guy went on, and within a few seconds Gallagher was back onstage telling the guy not to lean on the mic stand, or say, "What's Up?" Gallagher was right, and, at this point, it was kind of funny, and he told an off color joke to get back on track. The guy basically bombed, and Gallagher went up and called up the female comic of the group, and she was OK and Gallagher pretty much left her alone. After that was guy 3 of 4, and he was awful, and drinking a beer on stage. Gallagher was ruthless with him (rightfully so) and derailed his set to force them all to act out a joke. This was OK, but painfully long. Then finally the fourth comic came on, and he seemed to have a speech impediment or something, and was working very hard to get every word out. He was OK, but not really that funny. So this went on, Gallagher eventually left this guy alone, and then finally his own show started.

At this point, Gallagher had just lost any momentum that had been built whatsoever, and he was basically losing the audience. There was a really drunk group in the front row, and they were (I guess) talking through his act. Gallagher was ruthless with them, which was fine since they were apparently disturbing people, but he did it in a blunt way that wasn’t funny or even kind in the least. And, he even said more than once, “I’m rich, I don’t need your money!” That’s when things just started REALLY going downhill. The guy got up (to go to the bathroom I assume) and Gallagher then told security to not let him back in, since the guy was "trying to put on his own show" in the front row. One of the remaining drunk girls turned out to be drunk guy's girlfriend, so she eventually left. And then two more left because they were friends of the other couple. And, they were all die-hard Gallagher fans, who got there early to sit in the front row.

The show started up again, and Gallagher picked on another drunk girl in the front row on the other side of the audience. Eventually, she tried to come onstage for some terrible bit that Gallagher did, and nearly fell backwards down the steps. Gallagher then yelled, “I told you she was drunk”.

Next, of course, the drunken guy came back (great security at the Blender, I guess!), and of course came right down the center aisle and yelled, “Hey asshole, you made my girlfriend cry!” A huge bouncer then finally threw the guy out.

At this point a few other people left, but most were obviously waiting for him to start smashing stuff. Gallagher eventually did, but not until asking the audience members what time it was—he wanted to do a full two hours. The smashing was mildly entertaining, but it went very long and at this point the audience was basically just either tired, or in shock--kind of like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Gallagher wasn’t melting down, so the audience didn’t feel any sympathy, he just is apparently bitter and just doesn’t care any more. He actually said at one point, “Hey I’m not a trained monkey in a cage for your entertainment”. Uh, yes, when you make your career smashing watermelons, you are.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: BOAD guy667 ()
Date: March 05, 2018 08:27PM

Family outing for the O'Meara's? Going to COSTCO for free food. Tonight is cheap Mexican drinks. Trailer Park Trash raise their kids better.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Ray Cammack ()
Date: March 05, 2018 08:41PM

Gallagher at The Blender Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a soft spot in my heart for carnivals, side
> shows, state fairs, and the like. I was looking
> for something to do Friday night (before I left
> for Austin), and The Onion had a listing for
> Gallagher--yes, the guy who smashes watermelons. I
> thought it might be amusing and maybe even mildly
> entertaining, but I did go as an anthropologist
> would: to observe a strange and unknown culture.
> Little did I know it would turn out to be one of
> the most astonishing shows I had ever seen. And
> not in a good way.
>
> The show was at the Blender Theater, a rock club
> (formerly a movie theater--I had seen a movie
> there probably 15 years ago) that had been covered
> in plastic for the show. Things started
> badly---there were only two mics onstage, and they
> couldn't get either one to work. And I mean for
> about five minutes. Finally, after Gallagher
> started tracing out the mic cable himself, a guy
> ran down from the console and, yes, plugged the
> cable in.
>
> Gallagher then went on to tell the audience that
> he had sold 200 tickets, but that the promoters
> had basically saddled him with an additional
> comedy group, and that group had sold 100 tickets.
> So he introduced them and the first guy went on,
> and within a few seconds Gallagher was back
> onstage telling the guy not to lean on the mic
> stand, or say, "What's Up?" Gallagher was right,
> and, at this point, it was kind of funny, and he
> told an off color joke to get back on track. The
> guy basically bombed, and Gallagher went up and
> called up the female comic of the group, and she
> was OK and Gallagher pretty much left her alone.
> After that was guy 3 of 4, and he was awful, and
> drinking a beer on stage. Gallagher was ruthless
> with him (rightfully so) and derailed his set to
> force them all to act out a joke. This was OK, but
> painfully long. Then finally the fourth comic came
> on, and he seemed to have a speech impediment or
> something, and was working very hard to get every
> word out. He was OK, but not really that funny. So
> this went on, Gallagher eventually left this guy
> alone, and then finally his own show started.
>
> At this point, Gallagher had just lost any
> momentum that had been built whatsoever, and he
> was basically losing the audience. There was a
> really drunk group in the front row, and they were
> (I guess) talking through his act. Gallagher was
> ruthless with them, which was fine since they were
> apparently disturbing people, but he did it in a
> blunt way that wasn’t funny or even kind in the
> least. And, he even said more than once, “I’m
> rich, I don’t need your money!” That’s when
> things just started REALLY going downhill. The guy
> got up (to go to the bathroom I assume) and
> Gallagher then told security to not let him back
> in, since the guy was "trying to put on his own
> show" in the front row. One of the remaining drunk
> girls turned out to be drunk guy's girlfriend, so
> she eventually left. And then two more left
> because they were friends of the other couple.
> And, they were all die-hard Gallagher fans, who
> got there early to sit in the front row.
>
> The show started up again, and Gallagher picked on
> another drunk girl in the front row on the other
> side of the audience. Eventually, she tried to
> come onstage for some terrible bit that Gallagher
> did, and nearly fell backwards down the steps.
> Gallagher then yelled, “I told you she was
> drunk”.
>
> Next, of course, the drunken guy came back (great
> security at the Blender, I guess!), and of course
> came right down the center aisle and yelled,
> “Hey asshole, you made my girlfriend cry!” A
> huge bouncer then finally threw the guy out.
>
> At this point a few other people left, but most
> were obviously waiting for him to start smashing
> stuff. Gallagher eventually did, but not until
> asking the audience members what time it was—he
> wanted to do a full two hours. The smashing was
> mildly entertaining, but it went very long and at
> this point the audience was basically just either
> tired, or in shock--kind of like watching a train
> wreck in slow motion. Gallagher wasn’t melting
> down, so the audience didn’t feel any sympathy,
> he just is apparently bitter and just doesn’t
> care any more. He actually said at one point,
> “Hey I’m not a trained monkey in a cage for
> your entertainment”. Uh, yes, when you make your
> career smashing watermelons, you are.
Gallagher at The Blender Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a soft spot in my heart for carnivals, side
> shows, state fairs, and the like. I was looking
> for something to do Friday night (before I left
> for Austin), and The Onion had a listing for
> Gallagher--yes, the guy who smashes watermelons. I
> thought it might be amusing and maybe even mildly
> entertaining, but I did go as an anthropologist
> would: to observe a strange and unknown culture.
> Little did I know it would turn out to be one of
> the most astonishing shows I had ever seen. And
> not in a good way.
>
> The show was at the Blender Theater, a rock club
> (formerly a movie theater--I had seen a movie
> there probably 15 years ago) that had been covered
> in plastic for the show. Things started
> badly---there were only two mics onstage, and they
> couldn't get either one to work. And I mean for
> about five minutes. Finally, after Gallagher
> started tracing out the mic cable himself, a guy
> ran down from the console and, yes, plugged the
> cable in.
>
> Gallagher then went on to tell the audience that
> he had sold 200 tickets, but that the promoters
> had basically saddled him with an additional
> comedy group, and that group had sold 100 tickets.
> So he introduced them and the first guy went on,
> and within a few seconds Gallagher was back
> onstage telling the guy not to lean on the mic
> stand, or say, "What's Up?" Gallagher was right,
> and, at this point, it was kind of funny, and he
> told an off color joke to get back on track. The
> guy basically bombed, and Gallagher went up and
> called up the female comic of the group, and she
> was OK and Gallagher pretty much left her alone.
> After that was guy 3 of 4, and he was awful, and
> drinking a beer on stage. Gallagher was ruthless
> with him (rightfully so) and derailed his set to
> force them all to act out a joke. This was OK, but
> painfully long. Then finally the fourth comic came
> on, and he seemed to have a speech impediment or
> something, and was working very hard to get every
> word out. He was OK, but not really that funny. So
> this went on, Gallagher eventually left this guy
> alone, and then finally his own show started.
>
> At this point, Gallagher had just lost any
> momentum that had been built whatsoever, and he
> was basically losing the audience. There was a
> really drunk group in the front row, and they were
> (I guess) talking through his act. Gallagher was
> ruthless with them, which was fine since they were
> apparently disturbing people, but he did it in a
> blunt way that wasn’t funny or even kind in the
> least. And, he even said more than once, “I’m
> rich, I don’t need your money!” That’s when
> things just started REALLY going downhill. The guy
> got up (to go to the bathroom I assume) and
> Gallagher then told security to not let him back
> in, since the guy was "trying to put on his own
> show" in the front row. One of the remaining drunk
> girls turned out to be drunk guy's girlfriend, so
> she eventually left. And then two more left
> because they were friends of the other couple.
> And, they were all die-hard Gallagher fans, who
> got there early to sit in the front row.
>
> The show started up again, and Gallagher picked on
> another drunk girl in the front row on the other
> side of the audience. Eventually, she tried to
> come onstage for some terrible bit that Gallagher
> did, and nearly fell backwards down the steps.
> Gallagher then yelled, “I told you she was
> drunk”.
>
> Next, of course, the drunken guy came back (great
> security at the Blender, I guess!), and of course
> came right down the center aisle and yelled,
> “Hey asshole, you made my girlfriend cry!” A
> huge bouncer then finally threw the guy out.
>
> At this point a few other people left, but most
> were obviously waiting for him to start smashing
> stuff. Gallagher eventually did, but not until
> asking the audience members what time it was—he
> wanted to do a full two hours. The smashing was
> mildly entertaining, but it went very long and at
> this point the audience was basically just either
> tired, or in shock--kind of like watching a train
> wreck in slow motion. Gallagher wasn’t melting
> down, so the audience didn’t feel any sympathy,
> he just is apparently bitter and just doesn’t
> care any more. He actually said at one point,
> “Hey I’m not a trained monkey in a cage for
> your entertainment”. Uh, yes, when you make your
> career smashing watermelons, you are.
Gallagher at The Blender Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a soft spot in my heart for carnivals, side
> shows, state fairs, and the like. I was looking
> for something to do Friday night (before I left
> for Austin), and The Onion had a listing for
> Gallagher--yes, the guy who smashes watermelons. I
> thought it might be amusing and maybe even mildly
> entertaining, but I did go as an anthropologist
> would: to observe a strange and unknown culture.
> Little did I know it would turn out to be one of
> the most astonishing shows I had ever seen. And
> not in a good way.
>
> The show was at the Blender Theater, a rock club
> (formerly a movie theater--I had seen a movie
> there probably 15 years ago) that had been covered
> in plastic for the show. Things started
> badly---there were only two mics onstage, and they
> couldn't get either one to work. And I mean for
> about five minutes. Finally, after Gallagher
> started tracing out the mic cable himself, a guy
> ran down from the console and, yes, plugged the
> cable in.
>
> Gallagher then went on to tell the audience that
> he had sold 200 tickets, but that the promoters
> had basically saddled him with an additional
> comedy group, and that group had sold 100 tickets.
> So he introduced them and the first guy went on,
> and within a few seconds Gallagher was back
> onstage telling the guy not to lean on the mic
> stand, or say, "What's Up?" Gallagher was right,
> and, at this point, it was kind of funny, and he
> told an off color joke to get back on track. The
> guy basically bombed, and Gallagher went up and
> called up the female comic of the group, and she
> was OK and Gallagher pretty much left her alone.
> After that was guy 3 of 4, and he was awful, and
> drinking a beer on stage. Gallagher was ruthless
> with him (rightfully so) and derailed his set to
> force them all to act out a joke. This was OK, but
> painfully long. Then finally the fourth comic came
> on, and he seemed to have a speech impediment or
> something, and was working very hard to get every
> word out. He was OK, but not really that funny. So
> this went on, Gallagher eventually left this guy
> alone, and then finally his own show started.
>
> At this point, Gallagher had just lost any
> momentum that had been built whatsoever, and he
> was basically losing the audience. There was a
> really drunk group in the front row, and they were
> (I guess) talking through his act. Gallagher was
> ruthless with them, which was fine since they were
> apparently disturbing people, but he did it in a
> blunt way that wasn’t funny or even kind in the
> least. And, he even said more than once, “I’m
> rich, I don’t need your money!” That’s when
> things just started REALLY going downhill. The guy
> got up (to go to the bathroom I assume) and
> Gallagher then told security to not let him back
> in, since the guy was "trying to put on his own
> show" in the front row. One of the remaining drunk
> girls turned out to be drunk guy's girlfriend, so
> she eventually left. And then two more left
> because they were friends of the other couple.
> And, they were all die-hard Gallagher fans, who
> got there early to sit in the front row.
>
> The show started up again, and Gallagher picked on
> another drunk girl in the front row on the other
> side of the audience. Eventually, she tried to
> come onstage for some terrible bit that Gallagher
> did, and nearly fell backwards down the steps.
> Gallagher then yelled, “I told you she was
> drunk”.
>
> Next, of course, the drunken guy came back (great
> security at the Blender, I guess!), and of course
> came right down the center aisle and yelled,
> “Hey asshole, you made my girlfriend cry!” A
> huge bouncer then finally threw the guy out.
>
> At this point a few other people left, but most
> were obviously waiting for him to start smashing
> stuff. Gallagher eventually did, but not until
> asking the audience members what time it was—he
> wanted to do a full two hours. The smashing was
> mildly entertaining, but it went very long and at
> this point the audience was basically just either
> tired, or in shock--kind of like watching a train
> wreck in slow motion. Gallagher wasn’t melting
> down, so the audience didn’t feel any sympathy,
> he just is apparently bitter and just doesn’t
> care any more. He actually said at one point,
> “Hey I’m not a trained monkey in a cage for
> your entertainment”. Uh, yes, when you make your
> career smashing watermelons, you are.
Gallagher at The Blender Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a soft spot in my heart for carnivals, side
> shows, state fairs, and the like. I was looking
> for something to do Friday night (before I left
> for Austin), and The Onion had a listing for
> Gallagher--yes, the guy who smashes watermelons. I
> thought it might be amusing and maybe even mildly
> entertaining, but I did go as an anthropologist
> would: to observe a strange and unknown culture.
> Little did I know it would turn out to be one of
> the most astonishing shows I had ever seen. And
> not in a good way.
>
> The show was at the Blender Theater, a rock club
> (formerly a movie theater--I had seen a movie
> there probably 15 years ago) that had been covered
> in plastic for the show. Things started
> badly---there were only two mics onstage, and they
> couldn't get either one to work. And I mean for
> about five minutes. Finally, after Gallagher
> started tracing out the mic cable himself, a guy
> ran down from the console and, yes, plugged the
> cable in.
>
> Gallagher then went on to tell the audience that
> he had sold 200 tickets, but that the promoters
> had basically saddled him with an additional
> comedy group, and that group had sold 100 tickets.
> So he introduced them and the first guy went on,
> and within a few seconds Gallagher was back
> onstage telling the guy not to lean on the mic
> stand, or say, "What's Up?" Gallagher was right,
> and, at this point, it was kind of funny, and he
> told an off color joke to get back on track. The
> guy basically bombed, and Gallagher went up and
> called up the female comic of the group, and she
> was OK and Gallagher pretty much left her alone.
> After that was guy 3 of 4, and he was awful, and
> drinking a beer on stage. Gallagher was ruthless
> with him (rightfully so) and derailed his set to
> force them all to act out a joke. This was OK, but
> painfully long. Then finally the fourth comic came
> on, and he seemed to have a speech impediment or
> something, and was working very hard to get every
> word out. He was OK, but not really that funny. So
> this went on, Gallagher eventually left this guy
> alone, and then finally his own show started.
>
> At this point, Gallagher had just lost any
> momentum that had been built whatsoever, and he
> was basically losing the audience. There was a
> really drunk group in the front row, and they were
> (I guess) talking through his act. Gallagher was
> ruthless with them, which was fine since they were
> apparently disturbing people, but he did it in a
> blunt way that wasn’t funny or even kind in the
> least. And, he even said more than once, “I’m
> rich, I don’t need your money!” That’s when
> things just started REALLY going downhill. The guy
> got up (to go to the bathroom I assume) and
> Gallagher then told security to not let him back
> in, since the guy was "trying to put on his own
> show" in the front row. One of the remaining drunk
> girls turned out to be drunk guy's girlfriend, so
> she eventually left. And then two more left
> because they were friends of the other couple.
> And, they were all die-hard Gallagher fans, who
> got there early to sit in the front row.
>
> The show started up again, and Gallagher picked on
> another drunk girl in the front row on the other
> side of the audience. Eventually, she tried to
> come onstage for some terrible bit that Gallagher
> did, and nearly fell backwards down the steps.
> Gallagher then yelled, “I told you she was
> drunk”.
>
> Next, of course, the drunken guy came back (great
> security at the Blender, I guess!), and of course
> came right down the center aisle and yelled,
> “Hey asshole, you made my girlfriend cry!” A
> huge bouncer then finally threw the guy out.
>
> At this point a few other people left, but most
> were obviously waiting for him to start smashing
> stuff. Gallagher eventually did, but not until
> asking the audience members what time it was—he
> wanted to do a full two hours. The smashing was
> mildly entertaining, but it went very long and at
> this point the audience was basically just either
> tired, or in shock--kind of like watching a train
> wreck in slow motion. Gallagher wasn’t melting
> down, so the audience didn’t feel any sympathy,
> he just is apparently bitter and just doesn’t
> care any more. He actually said at one point,
> “Hey I’m not a trained monkey in a cage for
> your entertainment”. Uh, yes, when you make your
> career smashing watermelons, you are.
Gallagher at The Blender Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a soft spot in my heart for carnivals, side
> shows, state fairs, and the like. I was looking
> for something to do Friday night (before I left
> for Austin), and The Onion had a listing for
> Gallagher--yes, the guy who smashes watermelons. I
> thought it might be amusing and maybe even mildly
> entertaining, but I did go as an anthropologist
> would: to observe a strange and unknown culture.
> Little did I know it would turn out to be one of
> the most astonishing shows I had ever seen. And
> not in a good way.
>
> The show was at the Blender Theater, a rock club
> (formerly a movie theater--I had seen a movie
> there probably 15 years ago) that had been covered
> in plastic for the show. Things started
> badly---there were only two mics onstage, and they
> couldn't get either one to work. And I mean for
> about five minutes. Finally, after Gallagher
> started tracing out the mic cable himself, a guy
> ran down from the console and, yes, plugged the
> cable in.
>
> Gallagher then went on to tell the audience that
> he had sold 200 tickets, but that the promoters
> had basically saddled him with an additional
> comedy group, and that group had sold 100 tickets.
> So he introduced them and the first guy went on,
> and within a few seconds Gallagher was back
> onstage telling the guy not to lean on the mic
> stand, or say, "What's Up?" Gallagher was right,
> and, at this point, it was kind of funny, and he
> told an off color joke to get back on track. The
> guy basically bombed, and Gallagher went up and
> called up the female comic of the group, and she
> was OK and Gallagher pretty much left her alone.
> After that was guy 3 of 4, and he was awful, and
> drinking a beer on stage. Gallagher was ruthless
> with him (rightfully so) and derailed his set to
> force them all to act out a joke. This was OK, but
> painfully long. Then finally the fourth comic came
> on, and he seemed to have a speech impediment or
> something, and was working very hard to get every
> word out. He was OK, but not really that funny. So
> this went on, Gallagher eventually left this guy
> alone, and then finally his own show started.
>
> At this point, Gallagher had just lost any
> momentum that had been built whatsoever, and he
> was basically losing the audience. There was a
> really drunk group in the front row, and they were
> (I guess) talking through his act. Gallagher was
> ruthless with them, which was fine since they were
> apparently disturbing people, but he did it in a
> blunt way that wasn’t funny or even kind in the
> least. And, he even said more than once, “I’m
> rich, I don’t need your money!” That’s when
> things just started REALLY going downhill. The guy
> got up (to go to the bathroom I assume) and
> Gallagher then told security to not let him back
> in, since the guy was "trying to put on his own
> show" in the front row. One of the remaining drunk
> girls turned out to be drunk guy's girlfriend, so
> she eventually left. And then two more left
> because they were friends of the other couple.
> And, they were all die-hard Gallagher fans, who
> got there early to sit in the front row.
>
> The show started up again, and Gallagher picked on
> another drunk girl in the front row on the other
> side of the audience. Eventually, she tried to
> come onstage for some terrible bit that Gallagher
> did, and nearly fell backwards down the steps.
> Gallagher then yelled, “I told you she was
> drunk”.
>
> Next, of course, the drunken guy came back (great
> security at the Blender, I guess!), and of course
> came right down the center aisle and yelled,
> “Hey asshole, you made my girlfriend cry!” A
> huge bouncer then finally threw the guy out.
>
> At this point a few other people left, but most
> were obviously waiting for him to start smashing
> stuff. Gallagher eventually did, but not until
> asking the audience members what time it was—he
> wanted to do a full two hours. The smashing was
> mildly entertaining, but it went very long and at
> this point the audience was basically just either
> tired, or in shock--kind of like watching a train
> wreck in slow motion. Gallagher wasn’t melting
> down, so the audience didn’t feel any sympathy,
> he just is apparently bitter and just doesn’t
> care any more. He actually said at one point,
> “Hey I’m not a trained monkey in a cage for
> your entertainment”. Uh, yes, when you make your
> career smashing watermelons, you are.
Gallagher at The Blender Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a soft spot in my heart for carnivals, side
> shows, state fairs, and the like. I was looking
> for something to do Friday night (before I left
> for Austin), and The Onion had a listing for
> Gallagher--yes, the guy who smashes watermelons. I
> thought it might be amusing and maybe even mildly
> entertaining, but I did go as an anthropologist
> would: to observe a strange and unknown culture.
> Little did I know it would turn out to be one of
> the most astonishing shows I had ever seen. And
> not in a good way.
>
> The show was at the Blender Theater, a rock club
> (formerly a movie theater--I had seen a movie
> there probably 15 years ago) that had been covered
> in plastic for the show. Things started
> badly---there were only two mics onstage, and they
> couldn't get either one to work. And I mean for
> about five minutes. Finally, after Gallagher
> started tracing out the mic cable himself, a guy
> ran down from the console and, yes, plugged the
> cable in.
>
> Gallagher then went on to tell the audience that
> he had sold 200 tickets, but that the promoters
> had basically saddled him with an additional
> comedy group, and that group had sold 100 tickets.
> So he introduced them and the first guy went on,
> and within a few seconds Gallagher was back
> onstage telling the guy not to lean on the mic
> stand, or say, "What's Up?" Gallagher was right,
> and, at this point, it was kind of funny, and he
> told an off color joke to get back on track. The
> guy basically bombed, and Gallagher went up and
> called up the female comic of the group, and she
> was OK and Gallagher pretty much left her alone.
> After that was guy 3 of 4, and he was awful, and
> drinking a beer on stage. Gallagher was ruthless
> with him (rightfully so) and derailed his set to
> force them all to act out a joke. This was OK, but
> painfully long. Then finally the fourth comic came
> on, and he seemed to have a speech impediment or
> something, and was working very hard to get every
> word out. He was OK, but not really that funny. So
> this went on, Gallagher eventually left this guy
> alone, and then finally his own show started.
>
> At this point, Gallagher had just lost any
> momentum that had been built whatsoever, and he
> was basically losing the audience. There was a
> really drunk group in the front row, and they were
> (I guess) talking through his act. Gallagher was
> ruthless with them, which was fine since they were
> apparently disturbing people, but he did it in a
> blunt way that wasn’t funny or even kind in the
> least. And, he even said more than once, “I’m
> rich, I don’t need your money!” That’s when
> things just started REALLY going downhill. The guy
> got up (to go to the bathroom I assume) and
> Gallagher then told security to not let him back
> in, since the guy was "trying to put on his own
> show" in the front row. One of the remaining drunk
> girls turned out to be drunk guy's girlfriend, so
> she eventually left. And then two more left
> because they were friends of the other couple.
> And, they were all die-hard Gallagher fans, who
> got there early to sit in the front row.
>
> The show started up again, and Gallagher picked on
> another drunk girl in the front row on the other
> side of the audience. Eventually, she tried to
> come onstage for some terrible bit that Gallagher
> did, and nearly fell backwards down the steps.
> Gallagher then yelled, “I told you she was
> drunk”.
>
> Next, of course, the drunken guy came back (great
> security at the Blender, I guess!), and of course
> came right down the center aisle and yelled,
> “Hey asshole, you made my girlfriend cry!” A
> huge bouncer then finally threw the guy out.
>
> At this point a few other people left, but most
> were obviously waiting for him to start smashing
> stuff. Gallagher eventually did, but not until
> asking the audience members what time it was—he
> wanted to do a full two hours. The smashing was
> mildly entertaining, but it went very long and at
> this point the audience was basically just either
> tired, or in shock--kind of like watching a train
> wreck in slow motion. Gallagher wasn’t melting
> down, so the audience didn’t feel any sympathy,
> he just is apparently bitter and just doesn’t
> care any more. He actually said at one point,
> “Hey I’m not a trained monkey in a cage for
> your entertainment”. Uh, yes, when you make your
> career smashing watermelons, you are.

I agree.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: The Police ()
Date: March 05, 2018 09:51PM

(Feat. Gallagher)

Young teacher, the subject
Of schoolgirl fantasy
She wants him so badly
Knows what she wants to be
Inside her there's longing
This girl's an open page
Book marking, she's so close now
This girl is half his age
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me

Her friends are so jealous
You know how bad girls get
Sometimes it's not so easy
To be the teacher's pet
Temptation, frustration
So bad it makes him cry
Wet bus stop, she's waiting
His car is warm and dry
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me

Loose talk in the classroom
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staffroom
The accusations fly
It's no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabakov

Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me
Don't smash, don't smash so
Don't smash so close to me

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Asked For $$$ ()
Date: March 05, 2018 10:05PM

Mike begs for money. But he buys homes and boats...

and then he sells boats and bikes..

and then he throws really bad parties where he later farts from old left over Mexican food in FLA

Oh yeah, and candy, he hides. The bêtes is coming. Maybe before Bloobo. They should beg for testing strips!

COSTCO is a night out away from Walmart where he gets his haircuts which is a day trip?

Carla is killing him. Pore kid will get the leavings of a country klub life lost to divorce and bad planning.

I'll stop now,,,it's up the real posters here....1000 baby!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Author author ()
Date: March 05, 2018 10:12PM

Don tweeting about book he's planning to write about his radio career. Someone hoped for a introduction by Mike, Don said, don't hold your breath.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Mike O'Meara Show Fan ()
Date: March 05, 2018 10:18PM

peekzapeekzapalooser Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Conversational Curry Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Listen: I was fooling around with my wife last
> > night. I noticed she hadn't shaved her pits in
> a
> > while. As I gently began tickling the stubble,
> she
> > jokingly called it her "pepper."
> >
> > Post-coitus, our discussion turned - as it
> often
> > does - to Gallagher. Her earlier pepper comment
> > got me thinking of using G's comedy and jokes
> as
> > conversational spices: accents, flavor, and
> > piquancy that one could add to "pepper" daily
> > conversion to amuse and instruct. Kind of like
> > sprinkling a small airline-size packet of
> > erudition across your dialogue.
> >
> > And sadly, one is probably going to be unable
> to
> > recite "Cupid Pits LoverBoy Versus the Earth"
> >
> (https://www.gallaghersmash.com/cupid-pits-loverbo
>
> > y-versus-earth) while ordering a burger in a
> > drive-through, or while paying at a tollbooth -
> > but you certainly have time to drop a casual
> > Gallagherian witticism in those situations.
> >
> > Towards that end, I've put together a list of
> some
> > succinct G-man nuggets below. You all know
> them,
> > sure, but here they are in one place for easy
> > use.
> >
> > Enjoy, and spice up your life.
> >
> > 1. Living in California is like living in a
> bowl
> > of granola; what ain't fruits or nuts, is
> flakes.
> >
> > 2. If your knees bent the other way, what would
> a
> > chair look like?
> >
> > 3. Women wear a pair of panties but only one
> bra.
> >
> > 4. I found out why God made babies cute. It's
> so
> > you don't kill them.
> >
> > 5. Why are they called apartments when they're
> all
> > stuck together?
> >
> > 6. 'I before E except after C?' Americans don't
> > want to learn that! They just sort of make an
> 'I'
> > looking 'E' and an 'E' looking 'I' then put the
> > dot, right there in the middle!
> >
> > 7. If you water it and it dies, it's a plant.
> If
> > you pull it out and it grows back, it's a weed.
> >
> > 8. I don't know why they say "you have a baby."
> > The baby has you.
> >
> > 9. Our alphabet is based on some kind of a
> > bookkeeper's code to keep the Jews' and the
> > Egyptians' noses out of the Phoenician cattle
> > business!
> >
> > 10. Why do they call them cowboys? Cows is
> girls;
> > bulls is boys. They should call them 'cowgirls'
> > and 'bullboys.'
> >
> > 11. Iced tea in the wintertime! Why not? 'Cause
> > it's fucking dumb, that's why not!
> >
> > 12. People like crowds. The bigger the crowd,
> the
> > more people show up. Small crowd, hardly
> anybody
> > shows up.
> >
> > 13. If pro is the opposite of con, is progress
> the
> > opposite of congress?
> >
> > 14. Frankie Valli sings 'Walk Like A Man, Talk
> > Like A Man'... sings it like a woman!
> >
> > 15. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a
> > year, why are there locks on the doors?
> >
> > 16. Well, see, babies are born with new eyes.
> They
> > look at the world with new eyes and you begin
> to
> > see things, too, through their eyes. I had a
> > problem with her with toilet trainin' and I
> don't
> > blame her a bit. Cause first I showed her you
> > can't hit your cup on the coffee table. Then I
> > showed her you can't eat on the couch. Then
> here
> > was this chair you could shit in.
> >
> > 17. Why do they call it a TV set when you only
> get
> > one?
> >
> > 18. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations
> when
> > smoking is prohibited there?
> >
> > 19. Why do they put the little "on/off" words on
> a
> > light switch? If the light's on, you can see
> that
> > it's on. If the light's off, it's too dark to
> see
> > the words on the switch.
> >
> > 20. When yogurt goes bad, how can you tell?
> >
> > 21. Why do they call 'em 'buildings' when
> they're
> > done building 'em? They ought to be called
> > 'builts.' Or, 'crumblings.' 'I live in that
> > crumbling over there.'
> >
> > 22. What is dumber than a blind person with a
> gun?
> > The idiot who handed them the gun. Where do you
> > hide from a blind person with a gun? How do you
> > make a noise that ain't like a rabbit?
> >
> > 23. Why do they call that funny little statue a
> > bust when it stops right before the part of the
> > body that it's named after?
> >
> > 24. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
> >
> > 25. Wonder why it is your underarms stink. Did
> it
> > ever come in handy? Did you ever say "Well
> thank
> > God my underarms stunk! He came out of the
> bushes
> > and I said Get back! I've been to aerobics!"
> >
> > 26. Y'know, God experimented with the other
> > animals before he got around to us. You ladies
> > oughtta thank him for creating the cow, and
> > getting that udder idea out of his head!
> >
> > 27. Sledge-O-Matic removes unwanted
> fingerprints
> > from walls. Sledge-O-Matic also removes
> unwanted
> > walls from fingerprints.
> >
> > 28. Why do Cowboys wear a spur on each boot? If
> > one side of the horse moves, the other side
> goes
> > with it.
> >
> > 29. Why are there flotation devices under plane
> > seats instead of parachutes?
> >
> > 30. Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
> >
> > 31. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it
> sounds?
> >
> > 32. If olive oil comes from olives, where does
> > baby oil come from?
> >
> > 33. Why do you need a driver's license to buy
> > liquor when you're not supposed to drink and
> > drive?
> >
> > 34. I know you people, you're the smart ones.
> > You're not the ones going down the freeway with
> a
> > seatbelt hanging out the door makin' sparks.
> > You're not the ones goin' over the overpass
> with
> > the turn signal on. Where are they gonna turn?
> You
> > almost wish they would.
> >
> > 35. This I before E stuff would've screwed up
> > Einstein. He's got it wrong twice in his name.
> >
> > 36. I would like now to talk about the Japanese,
> a
> > race of very short people who are always
> bending
> > in half. You can't make an honest business deal
> > with them because you can't look em' in the eye.
> I
> > don't believe any group of people should be
> able
> > to build a car they can't pronounce. I'm
> talking
> > of course about the 'Cororra'.
> >
> > 37. Parents are trying to be friends with their
> > kids rather than draw the line and tell them
> what
> > proper public behavior would be.
> >
> > 38. What makes Teflon stick to the pan?
> >
> > 39. If M & M's melt in your mouth, not in your
> > hand, what would they do, say... under your
> arms?
> >
> > 40. I saw a can said Pepsi Free and I said
> "That
> > means it don't have Pepsi in it. That's a
> Coke."
> > Hog futures; I heard that. Hogs don't have no
> > future. Bacon is not a career.
> >
> > 41. I know what people laugh at. I know their
> > vocabulary.
> >
> > 42. I have so much to say when I'm driving and
> I
> > only have a horn. A horn don't say enough. A
> horn
> > just goes, "screeeeeeeew yooooooou!" Right? I
> want
> > a microphone. A microphone with a speaker on
> top,
> > like the cops got. You can have 'em, too.
> Freedom
> > of speech includes volume.
> >
> > 43. You listen to the world, you'll hear
> > McDonald's say that eatin' there is like a
> > symphony of taste. Yeah, my butt's the wind
> > instrument and the fart's the whole note.
> >
> > 44. What can you say in America? Can I say
> > Priscilla Presley has a big butt? Will I have
> to
> > prove it in a court of law? Hey, Priscilla, you
> > wanna back it on in here, huh? If she can fit
> in
> > the witness chair we'll drop, Your Honor.
> >
> > 45. "Dodge" is the perfect word to put on the
> > front of a van comin' at ya. If it says "Ram"
> on
> > the side, they're after your ass.
> >
> > 46. I have spent my life paying attention to my
> > art form, developing my art form, worrying
> about
> > my show and what I'm bringing to people, making
> > sure that I give them a fine trade.
> >
> > 47. You know that little indestructible black
> box
> > that is used on planes... why can't they make
> the
> > whole plane out of the same material?
> >
> > 48. Well, let me welcome myself to Texas. Where
> a
> > man comes home and hangs his hat on his lap.
> >
> > 49. I like church though. Church was a reminder
> > there was something worse than school.
> >
> > 50. Why are all the home-ec teachers divorced?
> >
> > 51. Before the invention of the telephone, you
> had
> > to lie to people to their face!
> >
> > 52. Wonder why it is God didn't give us wheels.
> He
> > must've known we get skates for Christmas.
> >
> > 53. We go to school to learn to communicate,
> but
> > all the teachers say to us is "shut up!"
> >
> > 54. You know what's stupid? Skiing. You get on
> top
> > of a slippery mountain with sleds on your feet
> and
> > you go down... big deal. Try not to. Or, go up!
> > Now that'd be a sport for ya!
> >
> > 55. Remember this advice... Never let your mom
> > comb your hair when she's mad at your dad!
> >
> > 56. Hey, what do you expect from a culture that
> > drives on parkways and parks on driveways?
> >
> > 57. Wouldn't it be great if people were the
> same
> > in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark
> > Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the
> > headboard and come back for another lap? 'Gee,
> > Nadia, that was perfect! That full twisting
> > dismount wasn't bad either, babe!'
> >
> > 58. I want you to remember, behind every
> > successful man is an amazed mother-in-law.
> >
> > 59. See, it's frivolous, superfluous products
> in
> > America. Like scented toilet
> > paper... is the dumbest thing in the world! The
> > only thing you don't have to make smell good
> cause
> > it's gonna get fucked up. Who is that smell
> there
> > to impress? My thumb? If you want to impress my
> > thumb, make it thicker in the middle.
> >
> > 60. So they bother you with it, they bother you
> > with it, they bother you with it. Finally you
> say,
> > "Gimme the damn present." You open it up and
> it's
> > dumb. Lucky for you, now you got a couple days,
> > take it back to the store, get something else,
> so
> > when your mother comes over she don't see
> you're
> > still married to an idiot!
> >
> > 61. I've come here tonight to San Jose, the
> only
> > city in this nation smart enough to put its
> > airport downtown where nobody cares.
> >
> > 62. Do you need a pain reliever that works?
> Picky
> > shits, ain't ya?
> >
> > 63. I wish there was a knob on the TV so you
> could
> > turn up the intelligence. They got one marked
> > "brightness" but it don't work, does it?
> >
> > 64. I wanna say something about my baby, Aimee.
> > The IRS says I have to; I pay her $20,000 as a
> > writer.
> >
> > 65. I have to say something about people, even
> > when it's somebody like Michael Jackson. I have
> to
> > say something about a little dude who runs
> around
> > the country wearing one glove and singing "Beat
> > It!"
> >
> > 66. I don't want to overthrow the government. I
> > wanna fire 'em.
> >
> > 67. People don't know how to behave in public
> > anymore.
>
>
> Conversational Curry Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Listen: I was fooling around with my wife last
> > night. I noticed she hadn't shaved her pits in
> a
> > while. As I gently began tickling the stubble,
> she
> > jokingly called it her "pepper."
> >
> > Post-coitus, our discussion turned - as it
> often
> > does - to Gallagher. Her earlier pepper comment
> > got me thinking of using G's comedy and jokes
> as
> > conversational spices: accents, flavor, and
> > piquancy that one could add to "pepper" daily
> > conversion to amuse and instruct. Kind of like
> > sprinkling a small airline-size packet of
> > erudition across your dialogue.
> >
> > And sadly, one is probably going to be unable
> to
> > recite "Cupid Pits LoverBoy Versus the Earth"
> >
> (https://www.gallaghersmash.com/cupid-pits-loverbo
>
> > y-versus-earth) while ordering a burger in a
> > drive-through, or while paying at a tollbooth -
> > but you certainly have time to drop a casual
> > Gallagherian witticism in those situations.
> >
> > Towards that end, I've put together a list of
> some
> > succinct G-man nuggets below. You all know
> them,
> > sure, but here they are in one place for easy
> > use.
> >
> > Enjoy, and spice up your life.
> >
> > 1. Living in California is like living in a
> bowl
> > of granola; what ain't fruits or nuts, is
> flakes.
> >
> > 2. If your knees bent the other way, what would
> a
> > chair look like?
> >
> > 3. Women wear a pair of panties but only one
> bra.
> >
> > 4. I found out why God made babies cute. It's
> so
> > you don't kill them.
> >
> > 5. Why are they called apartments when they're
> all
> > stuck together?
> >
> > 6. 'I before E except after C?' Americans don't
> > want to learn that! They just sort of make an
> 'I'
> > looking 'E' and an 'E' looking 'I' then put the
> > dot, right there in the middle!
> >
> > 7. If you water it and it dies, it's a plant.
> If
> > you pull it out and it grows back, it's a weed.
> >
> > 8. I don't know why they say "you have a baby."
> > The baby has you.
> >
> > 9. Our alphabet is based on some kind of a
> > bookkeeper's code to keep the Jews' and the
> > Egyptians' noses out of the Phoenician cattle
> > business!
> >
> > 10. Why do they call them cowboys? Cows is
> girls;
> > bulls is boys. They should call them 'cowgirls'
> > and 'bullboys.'
> >
> > 11. Iced tea in the wintertime! Why not? 'Cause
> > it's fucking dumb, that's why not!
> >
> > 12. People like crowds. The bigger the crowd,
> the
> > more people show up. Small crowd, hardly
> anybody
> > shows up.
> >
> > 13. If pro is the opposite of con, is progress
> the
> > opposite of congress?
> >
> > 14. Frankie Valli sings 'Walk Like A Man, Talk
> > Like A Man'... sings it like a woman!
> >
> > 15. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a
> > year, why are there locks on the doors?
> >
> > 16. Well, see, babies are born with new eyes.
> They
> > look at the world with new eyes and you begin
> to
> > see things, too, through their eyes. I had a
> > problem with her with toilet trainin' and I
> don't
> > blame her a bit. Cause first I showed her you
> > can't hit your cup on the coffee table. Then I
> > showed her you can't eat on the couch. Then
> here
> > was this chair you could shit in.
> >
> > 17. Why do they call it a TV set when you only
> get
> > one?
> >
> > 18. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations
> when
> > smoking is prohibited there?
> >
> > 19. Why do they put the little "on/off" words on
> a
> > light switch? If the light's on, you can see
> that
> > it's on. If the light's off, it's too dark to
> see
> > the words on the switch.
> >
> > 20. When yogurt goes bad, how can you tell?
> >
> > 21. Why do they call 'em 'buildings' when
> they're
> > done building 'em? They ought to be called
> > 'builts.' Or, 'crumblings.' 'I live in that
> > crumbling over there.'
> >
> > 22. What is dumber than a blind person with a
> gun?
> > The idiot who handed them the gun. Where do you
> > hide from a blind person with a gun? How do you
> > make a noise that ain't like a rabbit?
> >
> > 23. Why do they call that funny little statue a
> > bust when it stops right before the part of the
> > body that it's named after?
> >
> > 24. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
> >
> > 25. Wonder why it is your underarms stink. Did
> it
> > ever come in handy? Did you ever say "Well
> thank
> > God my underarms stunk! He came out of the
> bushes
> > and I said Get back! I've been to aerobics!"
> >
> > 26. Y'know, God experimented with the other
> > animals before he got around to us. You ladies
> > oughtta thank him for creating the cow, and
> > getting that udder idea out of his head!
> >
> > 27. Sledge-O-Matic removes unwanted
> fingerprints
> > from walls. Sledge-O-Matic also removes
> unwanted
> > walls from fingerprints.
> >
> > 28. Why do Cowboys wear a spur on each boot? If
> > one side of the horse moves, the other side
> goes
> > with it.
> >
> > 29. Why are there flotation devices under plane
> > seats instead of parachutes?
> >
> > 30. Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
> >
> > 31. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it
> sounds?
> >
> > 32. If olive oil comes from olives, where does
> > baby oil come from?
> >
> > 33. Why do you need a driver's license to buy
> > liquor when you're not supposed to drink and
> > drive?
> >
> > 34. I know you people, you're the smart ones.
> > You're not the ones going down the freeway with
> a
> > seatbelt hanging out the door makin' sparks.
> > You're not the ones goin' over the overpass
> with
> > the turn signal on. Where are they gonna turn?
> You
> > almost wish they would.
> >
> > 35. This I before E stuff would've screwed up
> > Einstein. He's got it wrong twice in his name.
> >
> > 36. I would like now to talk about the Japanese,
> a
> > race of very short people who are always
> bending
> > in half. You can't make an honest business deal
> > with them because you can't look em' in the eye.
> I
> > don't believe any group of people should be
> able
> > to build a car they can't pronounce. I'm
> talking
> > of course about the 'Cororra'.
> >
> > 37. Parents are trying to be friends with their
> > kids rather than draw the line and tell them
> what
> > proper public behavior would be.
> >
> > 38. What makes Teflon stick to the pan?
> >
> > 39. If M & M's melt in your mouth, not in your
> > hand, what would they do, say... under your
> arms?
> >
> > 40. I saw a can said Pepsi Free and I said
> "That
> > means it don't have Pepsi in it. That's a
> Coke."
> > Hog futures; I heard that. Hogs don't have no
> > future. Bacon is not a career.
> >
> > 41. I know what people laugh at. I know their
> > vocabulary.
> >
> > 42. I have so much to say when I'm driving and
> I
> > only have a horn. A horn don't say enough. A
> horn
> > just goes, "screeeeeeeew yooooooou!" Right? I
> want
> > a microphone. A microphone with a speaker on
> top,
> > like the cops got. You can have 'em, too.
> Freedom
> > of speech includes volume.
> >
> > 43. You listen to the world, you'll hear
> > McDonald's say that eatin' there is like a
> > symphony of taste. Yeah, my butt's the wind
> > instrument and the fart's the whole note.
> >
> > 44. What can you say in America? Can I say
> > Priscilla Presley has a big butt? Will I have
> to
> > prove it in a court of law? Hey, Priscilla, you
> > wanna back it on in here, huh? If she can fit
> in
> > the witness chair we'll drop, Your Honor.
> >
> > 45. "Dodge" is the perfect word to put on the
> > front of a van comin' at ya. If it says "Ram"
> on
> > the side, they're after your ass.
> >
> > 46. I have spent my life paying attention to my
> > art form, developing my art form, worrying
> about
> > my show and what I'm bringing to people, making
> > sure that I give them a fine trade.
> >
> > 47. You know that little indestructible black
> box
> > that is used on planes... why can't they make
> the
> > whole plane out of the same material?
> >
> > 48. Well, let me welcome myself to Texas. Where
> a
> > man comes home and hangs his hat on his lap.
> >
> > 49. I like church though. Church was a reminder
> > there was something worse than school.
> >
> > 50. Why are all the home-ec teachers divorced?
> >
> > 51. Before the invention of the telephone, you
> had
> > to lie to people to their face!
> >
> > 52. Wonder why it is God didn't give us wheels.
> He
> > must've known we get skates for Christmas.
> >
> > 53. We go to school to learn to communicate,
> but
> > all the teachers say to us is "shut up!"
> >
> > 54. You know what's stupid? Skiing. You get on
> top
> > of a slippery mountain with sleds on your feet
> and
> > you go down... big deal. Try not to. Or, go up!
> > Now that'd be a sport for ya!
> >
> > 55. Remember this advice... Never let your mom
> > comb your hair when she's mad at your dad!
> >
> > 56. Hey, what do you expect from a culture that
> > drives on parkways and parks on driveways?
> >
> > 57. Wouldn't it be great if people were the
> same
> > in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark
> > Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the
> > headboard and come back for another lap? 'Gee,
> > Nadia, that was perfect! That full twisting
> > dismount wasn't bad either, babe!'
> >
> > 58. I want you to remember, behind every
> > successful man is an amazed mother-in-law.
> >
> > 59. See, it's frivolous, superfluous products
> in
> > America. Like scented toilet
> > paper... is the dumbest thing in the world! The
> > only thing you don't have to make smell good
> cause
> > it's gonna get fucked up. Who is that smell
> there
> > to impress? My thumb? If you want to impress my
> > thumb, make it thicker in the middle.
> >
> > 60. So they bother you with it, they bother you
> > with it, they bother you with it. Finally you
> say,
> > "Gimme the damn present." You open it up and
> it's
> > dumb. Lucky for you, now you got a couple days,
> > take it back to the store, get something else,
> so
> > when your mother comes over she don't see
> you're
> > still married to an idiot!
> >
> > 61. I've come here tonight to San Jose, the
> only
> > city in this nation smart enough to put its
> > airport downtown where nobody cares.
> >
> > 62. Do you need a pain reliever that works?
> Picky
> > shits, ain't ya?
> >
> > 63. I wish there was a knob on the TV so you
> could
> > turn up the intelligence. They got one marked
> > "brightness" but it don't work, does it?
> >
> > 64. I wanna say something about my baby, Aimee.
> > The IRS says I have to; I pay her $20,000 as a
> > writer.
> >
> > 65. I have to say something about people, even
> > when it's somebody like Michael Jackson. I have
> to
> > say something about a little dude who runs
> around
> > the country wearing one glove and singing "Beat
> > It!"
> >
> > 66. I don't want to overthrow the government. I
> > wanna fire 'em.
> >
> > 67. People don't know how to behave in public
> > anymore.
>
>
> All such great points, that I even quoted them
> twice.

I LIKE BIG DICKS COVERED IN SHIT
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: nog cock2 ()
Date: March 05, 2018 10:34PM

I will never be able to consummate our manlove with Gallagher because he has AIDS and Kaposi's Sarcoma, but I treasure the sweet memories of Robb's velvety flowerlike anus. He would crush tater tots in his armpits and I would lick his pungent body clean of the starchy greasy paste before falling into blissful turgid slumber in his sweaty baby arms. When time permitted he would insert a tot halfway into his anus and I would worry it free using only my mouth.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 05, 2018 11:31PM

Asked For $$$ Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mike begs for money. But he buys homes and
> boats...
>
> and then he sells boats and bikes..
>
> and then he throws really bad parties where he
> later farts from old left over Mexican food in
> FLA
>
> Oh yeah, and candy, he hides. The bêtes is
> coming. Maybe before Bloobo. They should beg for
> testing strips!
>
> COSTCO is a night out away from Walmart where he
> gets his haircuts which is a day trip?
>
> Carla is killing him. Pore kid will get the
> leavings of a country klub life lost to divorce
> and bad planning.
>
> I'll stop now,,,it's up the real posters
> here....1000 baby!


niiiiice

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 06, 2018 01:09AM

Author author Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don tweeting about book he's planning to write
> about his radio career. Someone hoped for a
> introduction by Mike, Don said, don't hold your
> breath.


Can you imagine Mike being forced to say something nice about somebody else's superior accomplishments?

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 06, 2018 05:01AM

nog cock2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I will never be able to consummate our manlove
> with Gallagher because he has AIDS and Kaposi's
> Sarcoma, but I treasure the sweet memories of
> Robb's velvety flowerlike anus. He would crush
> tater tots in his armpits and I would lick his
> pungent body clean of the starchy greasy paste
> before falling into blissful turgid slumber in his
> sweaty baby arms. When time permitted he would
> insert a tot halfway into his anus and I would
> worry it free using only my mouth.

Boy do you have problems. It is about the comedy. Gallagher is where it’s at. Enjoy licking Rob. The rest of us are laughing

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 06, 2018 06:30AM

I bet Carla could grow a pair of nice scented nests for her lady gardener.

Until then, we'll enjoy Gallagher.


$$$$$$$$$$

Over the past couple of decades, I've ragged on theater patrons who didn't do right by a show — noisily arriving late, leaving before curtain calls, crinkling paper, hacking one constant cough, unwrapping cellophane covered candy, letting their cell phones ring, texting messages during a show — egad, I could go on and on. And I have. Gone on and on, that is.

So it is only fair that when I do wrong by a show, I should excoriate myself. So here goes.

The event was the Gallagher show at Pasco-Hernando Community College Performing Arts Center a week ago (the Tampa Bay Times was one of the sponsors).

Gallagher is a 65-year-old performer who became famous in the 1980s for taking sledge hammers to watermelons and other splattery things. He told some harmless jokes in between, but the splashes are what made him famous.

I suppose theaters grew weary of cleaning up after him, so he does what he calls the Gallagher Non-Smash Comedy Show these days. And a lot of the show is pretty darned amusing, if not always knee-slapping funny. He promises to make observations only on the truth, saying the truth is funny enough on its own, and when he sticks to that, the show works.

It's when he wanders off that path that his schtick becomes deserving of desertion. As in get up and get the heck out of the auditorium when his rants cross the line.

Hold on, here. I'm not talking censorship or "close down the place" or even "don't invite him back." I'm saying that when a performer does or says something so tasteless it's personally unacceptable to you, then it's time to get up and leave, not only so you don't have to hear any more, but also to show your disdain.

And that was my theater faux pas. I didn't leave when I shoulda.

Gallagher's "joke"? Q: Why was Ted Kennedy happy that he died of brain cancer? A: Because that meant he could die with a hole in his head, like his two brothers.

The audience groaned, but we all sat there, waiting for more. And he gave it to us, lazily attacking all-too-easy, hackneyed, out-dated targets: the French, Arabs, homosexuals.

Hey, Gallagher, it turns out the French were correct about Iraq not having weapons of mass destruction; we're trying to be friends with Arabs these days; and gay-bashing — and racist jokes — are as out-of-date as green and gold shag carpet and out-of-line as the Ku Klux Klan.

What makes something funny is the unexpected, the topical, the fresh, a twist on "accepted wisdom," a new angle on the usual.

And a joke about a celebrity or politician must start with at least a grain of truth — think Jay Leno's monologues and any Saturday Night Live skit — not a total fabrication, whether it's about Newt Gingrich, President Barack Obama or Gary Busey.

Most of all, you can make fun of yourself or your own kind, but tread lightly and carefully when it comes to spoofing others, especially when you're part of the group on top (and, no, Gallagher, we're NOT all Anglo-Saxon; most Americans are proud mongrels, a mix of races and nationalities).

See, Pat Cooper can tell crazy Italian jokes; Chris Rock can tell African-American jokes and even use the N-word; Jeff Foxworthy can tell stupid redneck jokes; Mel Brooks can tell outlandish Jewish jokes. But when a white guy thoughtlessly jokes about people from other groups, he can sound mean and nasty, not funny. Just ask done-for comic Michael Richards (Kramer on Seinfeld) what his "n-----, n-----, n-----" tirade did for his career. That wasn't "edgy;" that was going over the edge.

I talked with Sharon Masters, the events and marketing specialist at PHCC who helps choose the shows for the season, though she hadn't come on board yet when Gallagher was chosen. She said there were 427 people at the show, a nearly full house, and she's gotten "nothing but rave reviews from anyone who commented to me."

Next season's shows haven't been chosen yet, she said, and Gallagher may or may not be invited and may or may not accept.

If he does, it's likely that he'll pack 'em in again.

I just won't be among them.
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Recognize Bitches ()
Date: March 06, 2018 06:57AM

There isn’t much you can do to prepare for an interview with the once-legendary comedian Gallagher.

He’s sort of all over the place. But it’s that sort of spastic and off-the-wall thought process that allowed him to become a household name in the ’80s with numerous Showtime specials and to create his signature “Sledge-O-Matic” sketch. Gallagher smashed food for millions of people all over the country, and audiences loved him for it.

But today, a Google search of “Gallagher comic” doesn’t bring up the typical comedian fodder. Headlines range from “Gallagher broke, living in hotels,” to “Gallagher racist,” to “Gallagher hate-filled, right-wing loon.”
It hasn’t been an easy road for the now 68-year-old comedian who currently lives gig to gig. He’ll perform two nights Friday and Saturday at The Funny Stop in Cuyahoga Falls. Every night, it seems, Gallagher is looking to re-create that magic he once had.

“I can’t remember most of my life,” Gallagher said from his hotel room during a tour stop in Pottstown, New York. “The last heart attack they put me in a coma, and I think that means ‘erase the hard drive.’ I don’t remember how I felt (in the ’80s). I think I rushed off stage when thousands were cheering me, and I never enjoyed the really good part of my life.”

“But,” he continued with a long pause, “one day at a time.”

It’s hard to get a beat on Gallagher. He takes little joy in having been one of the forefathers of the one-hour comedy special, and he takes even less when talking about other comedians.

“I don’t think these young comics have learned anything from me,” he said. “They lift the audience up all the time instead of beating them and kicking them while they’re down. These setups let the audience regroup and get control or start to look around and lose their focus.”

A simple question asking how his recent tour stops have gone is met with a defensive answer.

“You should have gone on Facebook and read what people said about my shows recently,” he snapped. “I’m not looking for therapy. Those comedians that talk about themselves are really in need of therapy. Normally, insanity isn’t entertaining. You’ve got to be relevant and current and guess what everybody’s thinking and beat them to the punch. Most comedians don’t tell a joke. Why wouldn’t a comic tell you some jokes?”

It’s fairly obvious Gallagher isn’t much for personal reflection. Then again, when home is a hotel provided by a promoter or is a bed leant via the kindness of fans, it’s fairly easy to deflect.

For a period of time in the ’90s, Gallagher let his brother perform his trademark show as “Gallagher Too” or “Gallagher Two,” which ended in massive confusion for his audience when promotional materials never indicated the act wasn’t actually Gallagher. Ultimately it led to a lawsuit which left Gallagher’s family life fractured. He also reportedly lost the bulk of his once vast fortune in the stock market, and he’s suffered four heart attacks
.
“I just hope I wake up in the morning,” he said. “I’ve got a bucket list of things that will make the world a better place, and I have a burden to plant those seeds before I have a fifth heart attack.”
Gallagher doesn’t come off racist or homophobic during our conversation as some recent reports have suggested, but as ornery as he seems, the jokes he peppers into the conversation could be easily misconstrued as such.

He references “erasing the hard drive” numerous times, and it seems health scares, personal tragedies or both have taken a tremendous toll on how Gallagher thinks and behaves. Again, when pressed on the issue, he avoids pulling the back the curtain.

“It’s all about plumbing,” he said. “Once they open the pipes, you’re fine. My shows here in New York have been magical.”
Gallagher isn’t sure if smashing will be a part of his Cleveland show or not. He said he’s getting too old and too frail to keep up the act he’s known for, but he has no lack of confidence otherwise.

“Many people tell me it’s the best time they’ve ever had,” he said. “This is all I’ve ever done. So I think it’s worth something to go see an artist who has dedicated four decades learning one thing and has his eyes open to what he is doing. I beat them up. I kill them. I knock them out. The audience gets way too much for their money.”
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Author author ()
Date: March 06, 2018 07:38AM

Don tweets his book (which he hasn't begun) will be only about his pre-D&M career. What will piss Mike off is that he says he sold the book and is working with an editor. Wee bit different than self-published Open Mike.

As for the tiresome questions about if he talks to Mike, he says he reached out to him after the hurricane (you know, the one Mike lived through in Georgia or Carolina or DC): "I reached out when I heard he was close to the shit. We were and will continue to be good. I just get tired of being asked. Sure he does as well."

Listeners to his podcast will have to fill us in on further developments.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Ha ha ()
Date: March 06, 2018 07:49AM

Author author Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don tweets his book (which he hasn't begun) will
> be only about his pre-D&M career. What will piss
> Mike off is that he says he sold the book and is
> working with an editor. Wee bit different than
> self-published Open Mike.
>
> As for the tiresome questions about if he talks to
> Mike, he says he reached out to him after the
> hurricane (you know, the one Mike lived through in
> Georgia or Carolina or DC): "I reached out when I
> heard he was close to the shit. We were and will
> continue to be good. I just get tired of being
> asked. Sure he does as well."
>
> Listeners to his podcast will have to fill us in
> on further developments.

Just like true purveyors of comedy (us Gallagherians) will have to keep you apprised of hilarious hijinx. Enjoy your shallow life!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: hey, idjit ()
Date: March 06, 2018 07:57AM

Ah, the irony.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Date: March 06, 2018 09:59AM

C&C time:

Spewak and his mommo listened to an entire Mouseketeers album on a road trip last weekend. And a YouTube soundtrack of the 1990 Paul McCartney concert he and his mommo went to at RFK. He was 19.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Blobb Spewsack ()
Date: March 06, 2018 10:14AM

LOL
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Date: March 06, 2018 10:52AM

more C&C:

Katie partook in a sensory deprivation tank, and had a happy ending. Spewak made sure to elicit that she was nude.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Wait? Not! ()
Date: March 06, 2018 12:45PM

By this point, I don't think Headdd could stop his forced cackling if he wanted to. Frankly, his whoops and yelps sound more like he's developed Tourette's, like that other fat man, Cartman, did.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Katydid What? ()
Date: March 06, 2018 01:00PM

Elvis duvet and pillowcase etc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> more C&C:
>
> Katie partook in a sensory deprivation tank, and
> had a happy ending. Spewak made sure to elicit
> that she was nude.

You cannot be serious. Right? Not going to fall for your trap and listen to whole mess. Peekstamp or it wasn't mentioned.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: TMOS is the Bestest Ever! ()
Date: March 06, 2018 01:02PM

If you think it's been so long since Mike talked up records, then you're in luck. If not, skip opening today.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Big Shoota ()
Date: March 06, 2018 03:06PM

TMOS is the Bestest Ever! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you think it's been so long since Mike talked
> up records, then you're in luck. If not, skip
> opening today.

awww hell...

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Blobb Spewsack ()
Date: March 06, 2018 03:19PM

TMOS is the Bestest Ever! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you think it's been so long since Mike talked
> up records, then you're in luck. If not, skip
> opening today.


That's all he has anymore.

(And only if you play "Still the One" or "Hip to Be Square")

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: LOLOLOLOO ()
Date: March 06, 2018 03:30PM

Mike: "The Netherlands is Dutch, right?"

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: March 06, 2018 04:03PM

LOLOLOLOO Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mike: "The Netherlands is Dutch, right?"

The brain damage never stops with Brain Damage. Also Fattt Robbb fucked up a Beatles lyric and what part of his body does he claim he lost 50 pounds from? The part below his desk that no one can see?

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Cary and Carla ()
Date: March 06, 2018 04:20PM

Cary: Oh, what a day. Those darn kids just make a study hall monitor's job so hard. Anyway, settling in to listen to my favorite podcast, Rob and Joe, and checking in here. I think I can shed light on my husband's weight discrepancy -- last year for his base line he weighed himself fully dressed (including Birkies and his largest and heaviest hoodie, of course). After his recent bout of the flu, he weighed himself sans clothing. Thus the 50 pound weight "loss." He might have been down 10 pounds there for a bit, but I'd say he's put it back on.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Player (‘77) ()
Date: March 06, 2018 04:25PM

(Feat Gallagher)

Spending all my nights, all my money going out on the town
Doing anything just to get you off my mind
But when the morning comes, I'm right back where I started again
Trying to forget you is just a waste of time

Gallagher come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Gallagher come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado
Trying to keep up a smile that hides a tear
But as the sun goes down, I get that empty feeling again
How I wish to God that you were here
Gallagher come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Gallagher come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

Now that I put it all together
Give me the chance to make you see
Have you used up all the love in your heart
Is there nothing left for me?
Is there nothing left for me?
Gallagher come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Gallagher come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you
I was wrong, and I just can't live
Gallagher come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Gallagher come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you
Gallagher come back

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Date: March 06, 2018 04:50PM

Katydid What? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Elvis duvet and pillowcase etc Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > more C&C:
> >
> > Katie partook in a sensory deprivation tank,
> and
> > had a happy ending. Spewak made sure to elicit
> > that she was nude.
>
> You cannot be serious. Right? Not going to fall
> for your trap and listen to whole mess. Peekstamp
> or it wasn't mentioned.

Would I lie to you, baby? Would I say something that wasn't true?

Starts about 55 min.
Spewak wanting to know if she's nude couple mins later.
Her orgasm 1:00.45.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: E2 Tambien ()
Date: March 06, 2018 05:19PM

Katydid What? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Elvis duvet and pillowcase etc Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > more C&C:
> >
> > Katie partook in a sensory deprivation tank,
> and
> > had a happy ending. Spewak made sure to elicit
> > that she was nude.
>
> You cannot be serious. Right? Not going to fall
> for your trap and listen to whole mess. Peekstamp
> or it wasn't mentioned.


Wtf is a peekstamp? Speak English, you cunt smear.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 06, 2018 05:40PM

you've done the Lord's Work

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: EX JFKer ()
Date: March 06, 2018 05:47PM

The Langer Cast in on the RELM Network? Another ex friend of Mike's.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 06, 2018 06:03PM

peekza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> you've done the Lord's Work


No worries, happy to help. Someone has to stick to the topic - Gallagher - that we collectively and democratically agreed upon.

Much much more Gallagher comedy, insights, and pictures to come my friends! To quote the Carpenters, we’ve only just begun!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: March 06, 2018 06:15PM

today's show.... utterly worthless. I am speechless at how bad it was. Mike actually read the story about the plane passengers who all got sick. You know, during the windstorm LAST WEEK!

hey Mike can you recap the Superbowl tomorrow?

Goddammit I'm mad at myself for wasting my time and have no one else to blame...

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Hey, apostrophe S face! ()
Date: March 06, 2018 06:29PM

Gallagher Smash Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> peekza Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > you've done the Lord's Work
>
>
> No worries, happy to help. Someone has to stick to
> the topic - Gallagher - that we collectively and
> democratically agreed upon.
>
> Much much more Gallagher comedy, insights, and
> pictures to come my friends! To quote the
> Carpenters, we’ve only just begun!

You, too, shall pass, joining Enzo, Maui guy, white space guy, I Hate Peekza guy, etc., etc. Unless all of them are you, just one strange little man.

And other dude? Surely even you can figure out peekstamp; it doesn't take a Robert Goddard.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: i hate i hate peek guy ()
Date: March 06, 2018 07:48PM

boom bam

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: johnie DD ()
Date: March 06, 2018 07:52PM

Mike reeled off the cabinet.....that had to be read. He can remember things from earlier in the show. It was a set up by Bloob's movie clip to harp the show with the fired CNN guy.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: BOAD Guy667 ()
Date: March 06, 2018 08:27PM

Oh, those klubbers...



It's a little sad that Carla has to remove things from the house because Mike can't control himself. He's lucky to have her and as a listener I appreciate it, don't know what I'd do without the show.

Merle Rogers As someone who deals with an addiction, and food is definitely an addiction, it's best to keep that out of the house.

Jim Paulson It's a very real and difficult struggle.

Brian Eagle I appreciate it when my husband hides certain things (cookies) from me and makes the "healthy choices" such as fruit and yogurt easily accessible. It's not likely that I will tackle a 6 pack of Vegan yogurt, but box of Oreos can disappear in minutes under the right circumstances

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Michael Sembello ()
Date: March 06, 2018 08:30PM

(Feat Gallagher)

Just a Tampa comic on a Saturday night
Looking for the fight of his life
In the real time world no one sees him at all
They all say he’s crazy

Locking rhythm to the beat of his heart
Changing movement into light
He had smashed into the danger zone
When the dancer becomes the dance

It can cut you like a knife
If the gift becomes the fire
On the wire between will and what will be

He’s a maniac, maniac on the floor
And he’s smashing like he’s never smashed before

He’s a maniac, maniac on the floor
And he’s smashing like he’s never danced before

On the ice blue line of insanity
Is a place most never see
It's a hard won place of mystery
Touch it but can't hold it

You work all your life, for that moment in time
It could come or pass you by
It's a push shove world
But there's always a chance
If the hunger stays the night

There's a cold connective heat
Struggling stretching for the peak
Never stopping with his head against the wind

He’s a maniac, maniac I sure know
And he’s smashing like he’s never smashed before

He’s a maniac, maniac I sure know
And he’s smashing like he’s never smashed before

It can cut you like a knife
If the fight becomes the fire
On the wire between will and what will be

He’s a maniac, maniac I sure know
And he’s smashing like he’s never smashed before

He’s a maniac, maniac I sure know
And he’s smashing like he’s never smashed before

Maniac, maniac I sure know

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: O'Meara guy ()
Date: March 06, 2018 08:31PM

Gallagher Smash Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> peekza Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > you've done the Lord's Work
>
>
> No worries, happy to help. Someone has to stick to
> the topic - Gallagher - that we collectively and
> democratically agreed upon.
>
> Much much more Gallagher comedy, insights, and
> pictures to come my friends! To quote the
> Carpenters, we’ve only just begun!

For once, I agree with peekza. Your Gallagher postings have improved this thread significantly! Most of us now consider you the new peekza and leader of this thread. Keep it coming! (sorry peek.)

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Happy Jack... ()
Date: March 06, 2018 09:25PM

Elvis! Thanks for saving me the time....

The cake and cucking show was scary.

If I was mr-von-my-wifes-jaw-is-fucked...I would go ape shit on Blobb... And, Mr VMWJIF can do it! He is everything Blobb is not. Independently wealthy with a hot wife who does not have to work and not living in a townhouse in Leesburg....and able to easily kick Blobbs ass with one hand tied around his back,,Really

That was really creepy on so many levels...

First question was from Merle...Imagine that?????????? Makes SDM look like just your average oldies DJ...

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Frankies Death March ()
Date: March 06, 2018 09:33PM

It begins...

Sorry folks, did I miss the Political Persuasions for March 1, 2018? The last one I can find is from February 22, 2018...

Nah. Just a week off due to travel or something. He mentioned they'd be back on schedule this week, I believe

NO Sponsors!!! So why do it... A political show with a unemployed Man Talk DJ and someone who was fired from CNN.

Even Buz would say "What could possibly go wrong?".

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 06, 2018 11:47PM

TMOS is the Bestest Ever! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you think it's been so long since Mike talked
> up records, then you're in luck. If not, skip
> opening today.


It was almost like Mike was dreading having to read the Failbag

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: don is a cunt ()
Date: March 06, 2018 11:54PM

that guy is a bigger prick than chad dukes but don and mike show was fucking amazing for so long

shame mike is so unfunny and libtarded

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Big Shoota ()
Date: March 07, 2018 07:32AM

peekza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> TMOS is the Bestest Ever! Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > If you think it's been so long since Mike
> talked
> > up records, then you're in luck. If not, skip
> > opening today.
>
>
> It was almost like Mike was dreading having to
> read the Failbag

BECAUSE IT BLOWS

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: EsteBAN ()
Date: March 07, 2018 07:40AM

EX JFKer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The Langer Cast in on the RELM Network? Another
> ex friend of Mike's.

Langer appears to be doing the 1-3PM shift on WBAL in Baltimore now.

Another MORE SUCCESSFUL ex-friend of Mike's...

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Crapper ()
Date: March 07, 2018 10:05AM

Don Geronimo can be merciless when the topic of Mike O'Meara's band comes up. Geronimo wears O'Meara out, saying he's just like the stereotypical radio-DJ-with-a-band that they've made fun of for years.
But the nationally syndicated "Don & Mike Show's" O'Meara actually appreciates the on-air teasing by his partner, because it serves as a humorous plug for his Crap Blues Band.
The group plays Uncle Sam's at Uptown at Central Park tonight at 10, following a 6:30 p.m. "Uptown After Hours Concert Series" show by Elvis Presley impersonator Michael Hoover.
"We have a lot of fun with that," O'Meara said Monday in a telephone interview from WJFK in Fairfax. "In his own way, Don supports the [band]. We promote the appearances on the air and that's all I want. I enjoy the ribbing."
O'Meara takes pride in the band, but doesn't take his own prowess as a drummer too seriously.
"Absolutely not," he said. "I have a lot of fun because it's a hobby.
"If you take yourself too seriously, you risk laying yourself out there. I have a day job. I wish I had more time to put in it," O'Meara said.
But he said the recent addition of a couple of pros has helped the group.
He said new lead singer Cherie Martin, who once performed with the late, great Danny Gatton and currently works with two other groups, and new keyboardist Jeff Bean, who also plays with the Johnny Artis band, "have im-proved the sound a lot."
Other Crap Blues Band members are guitarist Randal Dewey, bassist Paul Schmitz and sax man Doug Hiltibridle.
The Crap Blues Band began as a Halloween "monster band" spoof at a haunted house a couple of years ago and has become a popular band playing regular gigs around the Washington area.
O'Meara frequently injects humor during between-song banter.
He was self-taught as a drummer, listening to Buddy Rich records.
O'Meara has been Geronimo's radio partner for 17 years.
"The Don & Mike Show" is syndicated around the United States and can be heard live Mondays through Fridays from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. on WJFK, 106.7 FM. "The Best of Don & Mike" airs daily at 2 p.m.
Michael Hoover, who appears before the Crap Blues Band at Uptown tonight, began doing Elvis "tribute" shows after meeting the former Bobbie Dunford in 1986. She was managing an Elvis museum at Poto-mac Mills at the time.
In 1987, TNN, then The Nashville Network, was coming to the museum to do an Elvis tribute. Dunford needed to hire a Presley impersonator for that TV taping.
At the time, Hoover, who is originally from Rockville, Md., wasn't pushing the Elvis thing too seriously.
But when he met Dunford, that changed. The daughter of a Clintwood, W.Va., coal miner quit her job at the museum, and, at Dunford's urging, Hoover quit his job painting cars.
She became his manager and he began doing his "Memories of Elvis" tribute show full time.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 07, 2018 11:47AM

"I enjoy the ribbing"...No, no you didn't Mike

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: nog cock2 ()
Date: March 07, 2018 12:30PM

Your mother enjoyed the ribbed condom I wore this morning

Die in a fire you stupid nigger faggot

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Irish Stew ()
Date: March 07, 2018 01:09PM

Failcast
Attachments:
omeras.jpg

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Irish Stew ()
Date: March 07, 2018 01:15PM

Those were the days my friend!
Attachments:
omeras3.jpg

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 07, 2018 02:47PM

Irish Stew Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Those were the days my friend!


Wonder how many of those ladies got 100% of their last paycheck

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: MOMTrueAmericanHero ()
Date: March 07, 2018 03:08PM

Trash day in FLA
Attachments:
trashday.jpg

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: He stroops to conquer ()
Date: March 07, 2018 03:17PM

Mike would raccoon those suckers in the night!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Mike's verbal crutch ()
Date: March 07, 2018 03:56PM

The fact is, Mike said "the fact is" at 13:39 today.

Mike has literal and figurative crutches.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 07, 2018 04:05PM

Mike's verbal crutch Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The fact is, Mike said "the fact is" at 13:39
> today.
>
> Mike has literal and figurative crutches.


He even threw in the towel and admitted that he might not be able to break the habit on this one

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 07, 2018 04:38PM

Once again, Mike has proclaimed that he never utters the R word...He used it less than 2 weeks ago

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Ex JFK Guy ()
Date: March 07, 2018 04:41PM

Kubber Report:

The fact is...
TMOS #1958:
38:40; 50:52; 52:51; 1:07:17; 1:14:41; 1:14:47

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Blahblah ()
Date: March 07, 2018 05:52PM

peekza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mike's verbal crutch Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The fact is, Mike said "the fact is" at 13:39
> > today.
> >
> > Mike has literal and figurative crutches.
>
>
> He even threw in the towel and admitted that he
> might not be able to break the habit on this one


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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Ray Cammack ()
Date: March 07, 2018 06:09PM


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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Simple Minds ()
Date: March 07, 2018 10:08PM

(Feat Gallagher)

You turn me on
You lift me up
Like the sweetest cup I'd share with you
You lift me up
Don't you ever stop, I'm here with you
Now it's all or nothing
'Cause you say you'll follow through
You follow me, and i, i, I follow you

What you gonna do when things go wrong?
What you gonna do when it all cracks up?
What you gonna do when the love burns down?
What you gonna do when the flames go up?
Who is gonna come and turn the tide?
What's it gonna take to make a dream survive?
Who's got the touch to calm the storm inside?
Who's gonna save you?
Alive and smashing
Stay until your love is
Alive and smashing
Stay 'til your love is
Until your love is, alive

Oh
You lift me up
To the crucial top, so I can see
Oh you lead me on, till the feelings come
And the lights that shine on
But if that don't mean nothing
Like if someday it should fall through
You'll take me home where the magic's from
And I'll be with you

What you gonna do when things go wrong?
What you gonna do when it all cracks up?
What you gonna do when the love burns down?
What you gonna do when the flames go up?
Who is gonna come and turn the tide?
What's it gonna take to make a dream survive?
Who's got the touch to calm the storm inside?
Don't say goodbye, don't say goodbye
In the final seconds who's gonna save you?

Ooh oh, oh oh
Alive and smashing
Oh stay until your love is
Love is
Alive and smashing
Ooh oh, oh oh
Alive and smashing
Oh stay until your love is, love is
Alive and smashing

Ooh oh
Alive and smashing
Stay until your love is
Alive and smashing, oh

Stay until your love is
Alive and smashing, oh
Stay until your love

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: LOLOLOLLOLL ()
Date: March 07, 2018 10:14PM

Marry fuck or kill...


Merle, SDM, and Dirk...


Show prep Mike style..

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 07, 2018 10:50PM

That was great...They had several callers play, and they ALL chose the same Fuck Oscar, Marry Mike, Kill Robb

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: E2 Tambien ()
Date: March 07, 2018 11:55PM

Ha!

So Mike opens today's show with a childish rant about a slightly negative post on the "fan page."

The new admin for the "fan page" has messed up already. SDM used to purge posts (and people) who dared to say something that might tick off the tempermental tyrant O'Meara.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: March 08, 2018 12:17AM

peekza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That was great...They had several callers play,
> and they ALL chose the same Fuck Oscar, Marry
> Mike, Kill Robb

The funny thing about today's show was that my browser froze up or something and I just didn't bother going back to the show... I don't even know if the browser froze up, I just didn't care.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 08, 2018 02:41AM

The fact is, Tuesday and Wednesday have become completely unlistenable...As bad as the Failbag is, the callers are even worse because they aren't limited to just one segment...They tend to drag on for the entire show, Mike uses them in lieu of show prep.

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