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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: SDM Guy ()
Date: February 28, 2018 05:38PM

They talked about the 2000th show is up coming. They want to do something special I hope Blobb, SDM, Merle keep helping us to page 1000! We should do a flash mob meet up at JOTT when we get to 1000.

They said SDM hates them now today. Carl???

Also, one caller asked for a best of from the audio vault. Lazy Bloob said he almost has 80 minutes of AV best of now. Really, after 1900 shows? Quantity over quality I guess.

That party must have sucked. If all went well, Mike would have went off about it. Plus, all the left over food? They are cheap as shit. There is no way they over ordered.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: February 28, 2018 05:39PM

901...Semper Shitteeth



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2018 06:01PM by peekza.
Attachments:
Semper Shitteeth.jpg

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Mike O’Meara ()
Date: February 28, 2018 05:50PM

peekza,

Please get your head out from up of my ass.

Thanks,

Mike

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza's assbuddy ()
Date: February 28, 2018 05:53PM

901... Semper peekza





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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: February 28, 2018 06:02PM

As promised...


MOMTrueAmericanHero Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mike accusing Steve and Marty of "Phoning it
> in"...wow, holy Pot calling the Kettle


Hey man, like when was the last time they had to blow off their Monday to read to 4 and 5 year olds? That's the day Mike uses to ease back into the workweek for God's sake!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Handshake ()
Date: February 28, 2018 06:09PM

MOMTrueAmericanHero Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mike gets his hair cut at Walmart now? How the
> mighty have fallen. Why not just get it done at
> PetSmart with Beluga and Frankie?


Yesssssss!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: MOMTrueAmericanHero ()
Date: February 28, 2018 06:21PM

speaking of pots and kettles
Attachments:
robb_metz.jpg

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: February 28, 2018 06:34PM

SDM Guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

Timestamp on that? My attention wanders.

> They said SDM hates them now today. Carl???

> Also, one caller asked for a best of from the
> audio vault. Lazy Bloob said he almost has 80
> minutes of AV best of now. Really, after 1900
> shows? Quantity over quality I guess.

That was clearly a lie. A good producer would have a best-of ready to go and constantly be curating it. Or realize that a "best of AV" is a stupid idea because the AV just lies there like a resentful suburban housewife on margarita night. I'd rather hear an Oscarazzi compilation.

> That party must have sucked. If all went well,
> Mike would have went off about it. Plus, all the
> left over food? They are cheap as shit. There is
> no way they over ordered.

Nothing says "Only the best!" like MARGARITA MIX.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: LOLOLOLOLO ()
Date: February 28, 2018 07:52PM

That picture above is the embodiment of putting lipstick on a pig!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: TMOS Kluber #1 ()
Date: February 28, 2018 07:56PM

The fact is...
TMOS #1954
4:35; 5:59*; 58:45; 58:47*
*Re-stated acknowledgement

Klubbers are counting verbal crutches...

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Mike O'Meara's Asshole ()
Date: February 28, 2018 08:32PM

\ | /
-o-
/ | \

Hi everybody! The fact is, I thought you'd like to meet the genius and driving force behind TMOS! Buy Bonus Shows for everyone at your work you bloodsucking parasites!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Date: February 28, 2018 08:35PM

.
Attachments:
Screenshot 2018-02-28 20.32.31.PNG

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Date: February 28, 2018 08:38PM

..
Attachments:
Screenshot 2018-02-28 20.37.58.PNG

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza’s tongue ()
Date: February 28, 2018 08:43PM

Mike O'Meara's Asshole Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> \ | /
> -o-
> / | \
>
> Hi everybody! The fact is, I thought you'd like
> to meet the genius and driving force behind TMOS!
> Buy Bonus Shows for everyone at your work you
> bloodsucking parasites!

3~

Will you marry me?

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Stern Warning ()
Date: February 28, 2018 10:07PM

Howard welcomed watermelon smashing comedian, Gallagher to the studio and was surprised that he was wearing a suit instead of the trademark Gallagher-garb (a cap, striped shirt and jeans). Howard asked Gallagher about all the comics who rip off his act, so the pro melon-smasher cited Carrot Top, who's been coming to his shows since he was a little kid. Gallagher then railed against the late night hosts; Jay Leno is impersonal, Conan isn't funny, and Letterman used his watermelon-dropping bit.


Gallagher said, "I'm an authority on comedy. I was a comedian in another life," and listed some of his lesser-known credits, like random parody songs. Howard wondered which comedians Gallagher liked, so Gallagher cited Richard Pryor, as he was a decent guy – and used to have the best coke. Gallagher then said Seinfeld was "the fourth best comedian on his own show," adding that "his funny little observations" wouldn't go over well with "average" audiences.
Gallagher claimed he was "the smartest guy who ever decided to become a comedian" and mocked all the comics who kept bottles of water next to them on stage. Gallagher then told the crew about his brother, who infamously toured as "Gallagher II" and eventually defrauded audiences by dropping the "II." Gallagher added that he had to sue his brother to get him to stop, and he's been estranged from his family ever since, as they all sided with "II."

Richard came in to ask how we knew this was the real Gallagher and not his brother, so Gallagher claimed the difference was that he had a college degree. Richard then asked if Dave Chappelle's "Black Gallagher" sketch finally got black people to show up at his performances, but Gallagher said no; "None!" Gallagher then continued to list his crazy ideas; fart ring tones, a face-paint-focused environmental presentation for Al Gore, and something about photons and electrons.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: February 28, 2018 10:13PM

uh-oh, do you think no one came to the party? Like the neighborhood gave Mike the finger?
That's sad...
Oh, and did I hear Robbb do a read for tooth flossers or something or did I dream that?

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: March 01, 2018 12:00AM

I agree it's sad but if that's that way it happened I blame MAKING THE INVITATION ONE OF BRAIN DAMAGE'S STUPID POEMS.

We're having Mexican takeaway
Come on by, perhaps you'll stay!
Hey now, let's get our kicks
With Mike's famous margarita mix!

I call that one "Reciprocity, bitches!"

He doesn't see the common denominator that the guest a couple weeks ago tried to steer him toward.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Big Shoota ()
Date: March 01, 2018 03:14AM

Oscar @ 1:02:53 WTF?!!
What was that noise?

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: March 01, 2018 07:33AM

This is too much. I’m going to jerk off and finger my asshole to Robb during today’s show and fantasize about his warm load going down my throat. peek, we should meet up for a mutual session soon!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Blobb Spewsack ()
Date: March 01, 2018 09:48AM

The party, it was going to be great
Mexican food! Come and fill your plate!
Drinks all around! Homemade don’t you know,
But Mike didn’t know the neighbors level of hate.

No one came to the O’Meara place
It was truly such a disgrace
But one silver lining, there is always one,
Now Mike can sit alone filling his face.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2018 09:50AM by Blobb Spewsack.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 01, 2018 11:52AM

The audio Fault takes up about 10 minutes every show, why does Robb think it SHOULD take close to 2000 shows to fill an 80 minutes Best Of(replete with ads/promos, so really 68 minutes at best)? Is he admitting that there is less than 30 seconds of decent content generated per episode?

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 01, 2018 11:53AM

Blobb Spewsack Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The party, it was going to be great
> Mexican food! Come and fill your plate!
> Drinks all around! Homemade don’t you know,
> But Mike didn’t know the neighbors level of
> hate.
>
> No one came to the O’Meara place
> It was truly such a disgrace
> But one silver lining, there is always one,
> Now Mike can sit alone filling his face.


bravo

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: March 01, 2018 12:39PM

Minute 24-25. At the beginning of minute 25 Brain Damage says "they use the term flamethrower". Yes they do, for something completely different. He shows his ignorance of broadcasting here. WAVA-FM couldn't be a flamethrower because it was FM.

Party fail: BD was expecting party leftovers to still be in the refrigerator on Wednesday? How many leftovers did they have and how long do leftovers last? Minute 38. Sounds like he's been eating it for dinner every day. Minute 39 O5car does his best to shut down political discussion and promote Political Persuasions.

I think the truth is Mike pulled a Costanza and ate out of the trashcan. BTW Reese's Peanut Butter Cups aren't vegan.

Jarla sounds like a delight.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Cary and Carla ()
Date: March 01, 2018 01:51PM

Torn Pentacle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Jarla sounds like a delight.

Carla: Why thank you, thank you very much. But it's Carla.

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Audio FaiL
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: March 01, 2018 02:00PM

From today's Audio FaiL: "I agree with #2 I think." Yes you do, Fattt Robbb.

"Has anyone been more often tangentially connected with great comedy than Dan Ackroyd?"

YOU, Fattt Robbb. In these very pages.

Then they closed with a tape of Fattt Robbb sucking Brad off.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: March 01, 2018 02:04PM

Cary and Carla Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Torn Pentacle Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> > Jarla sounds like a delight.
>
> Carla: Why thank you, thank you very much. But
> it's Carla.

Once a jar always a jar. Jarla! Jarla! Jarla! Jarla! Jarla! Jarla! Jarla! Jarla! Jarla! Jarla! Jarla!

p.s. I enjoy both of your guys' posts.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jerking Off and Fingering Myself ()
Date: March 01, 2018 02:13PM

Big Shoota Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oscar @ 1:02:53 WTF?!!
> What was that noise?

Oscar's mouth trying to catch up with his brain? Good listening, it is a great sound.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Big Shoota ()
Date: March 01, 2018 03:46PM

Jerking Off and Fingering Myself Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Big Shoota Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Oscar @ 1:02:53 WTF?!!
> > What was that noise?
>
> Oscar's mouth trying to catch up with his brain?
> Good listening, it is a great sound.


They are so tuned out of their own show that they miss a great drop of all time to be replayed.

So Fattty Robbb, why not just admit the Underground heard a great O5car drop and next time TRY HARDER!!!

Jackass...

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Blobb Spewsack ()
Date: March 01, 2018 04:19PM

Big Shoota Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oscar @ 1:02:53 WTF?!!
> What was that noise?


Is this for the 3/1 show?

Maybe they edited and reposted? Because I am hearing nothing at that timestamp. Oh well.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2018 04:22PM by Blobb Spewsack.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Big Shoota ()
Date: March 01, 2018 05:01PM

Blobb Spewsack Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Big Shoota Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Oscar @ 1:02:53 WTF?!!
> > What was that noise?
>
>
> Is this for the 3/1 show?
>
> Maybe they edited and reposted? Because I am
> hearing nothing at that timestamp. Oh well.

2/28

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Nada Surf ()
Date: March 01, 2018 05:22PM

(Feat. Gallagher)

Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear-jerking scene
If you want to date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious
There's still a feeling of rejection when someone says
She prefers the company of others to your exclusive company
But if you're honest, and direct
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you break the news
The boy will respect you for your frankness
And honestly he'll appreciate the kind of straightforward manner in which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a crybaby you will remain friends

I'm head of the class
I'm PROPular
I'm a quarterback
I'm PROPular
My mom says I'm a catch
I'm PROPular
I'm never last picked
I got a cheerleading chick

Being attractive is the most important thing there is
If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond
You have to be as attractive as possible
Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean
Wash it at least every two weeks
Once every two weeks
And if you see Jonny football hero in the hall
Tell him he played a great game
Tell him you liked his article in the newspaper

I'm the party star
I'm PROPular
I got my own car
I'm PROPular
I'll never get caught
I'm PROPular
I make football bets
I'm a teacher's pet

I propose we support a one-month limit on going steady
I think it will keep people more able to deal with weird situations
And get to know more people
I think if you're ready to go out with Johnny
Now's the time to tell him about your one-month limit
He won't mind, he'll appreciate your fresh look on dating
And once you've dated someone else you can date him again
I'm sure he'll like did
Everyone will appreciate it
You're so novel, what a good idea
You can keep you time to yourself
You don't need date insurance
You can go out with whoever you want to
Every boy, every boy, in the whole world could be yours
If you'll just listen to my plan
The Teenage Guide To PROPularity

I'm head of the class
I'm PROPular
I'm a quarterback
I'm PROPular
My mom says I'm a catch
I'm PROPular
I'm never last picked
I got a cheerleading chick
I'm the party star
I'm PROPular
I've got my own car
I'm PROPular
I'll never get caught
I'm PROPular
I'm a teacher's pet
I make football bets
Attachments:
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AA_122_3.jpg
17082008033.jpg

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: oscaritoooo ()
Date: March 01, 2018 07:41PM

Big Shoota Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Blobb Spewsack Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Big Shoota Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Oscar @ 1:02:53 WTF?!!
> > > What was that noise?
> >
> >
> > Is this for the 3/1 show?
> >
> > Maybe they edited and reposted? Because I am
> > hearing nothing at that timestamp. Oh well.
>
> 2/28

That was quite the homina homina!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Notable Quotables ()
Date: March 01, 2018 09:43PM

A quick nugget of gospel from the Einstein of comedy, Gallagher. This will brighten your evening!

$$$$$$

Gallagher: Sometimes I think TWA means "Traveling With Arabs". So I fly Delta, which means "Don't Even Let Them Aboard"!

Gallagher: Now this world will make your head spin if you listen. Vigorous urine testing, what the heck is that? How do you do that vigorous? Seems like vigorous would keep you from getting it in that little bottle. In fact, vigorous might get you the wrong specimen.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: SDM Guy ()
Date: March 01, 2018 10:02PM

RE Gallagher - The fact is he was as funny as Mike...

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: E2 Tambien ()
Date: March 01, 2018 10:41PM

Somebody at Walmart should tell Mike to give up the white whiskers. They only accentuate his multiple chins.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Netsuke ()
Date: March 02, 2018 03:08AM

Someone should tell Mike to give up the multiple chins. Do we have any photos of him from the Weight-Not days like we do of Robb? Did Mike do the hormone injections like Robb did?

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Netsuke ()
Date: March 02, 2018 03:14AM

SDM Guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> RE Gallagher - The fact is he was as funny as
> Mike...

So sucking explained then? Great tombstone: He was as funny as Mike O'Meara.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Lets all rim Mike’s asshole ()
Date: March 02, 2018 07:15AM

Netsuke Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> SDM Guy Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > RE Gallagher - The fact is he was as funny as
> > Mike...
>
> So sucking explained then? Great tombstone: He
> was as funny as Mike O'Meara.

Or, not as stupid as the TMOS thread. That has a better ring.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Big Shoota ()
Date: March 02, 2018 07:51AM

Oh I get it! Gallagher pissed away all his money and so did Mike!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: TMOS is what? ()
Date: March 02, 2018 10:09AM

I think I read somewhere that Gallagher had to sell his boat, car and motorcycle. Odd, that.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 02, 2018 11:03AM

Netsuke Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Someone should tell Mike to give up the multiple
> chins. Do we have any photos of him from the
> Weight-Not days like we do of Robb? Did Mike do
> the hormone injections like Robb did?


No, Mike wouldn't do the hormones like Robb and RJ, that's why he barely lost 30 pounds while they lost over 100 each

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 02, 2018 11:04AM

He had his water cut off last month

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Blobb Spewsack ()
Date: March 02, 2018 11:13AM

peekza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> He had his water cut off last month


Yeah I noticed that little truth gem slip out. LOL.

Can't pay his bills till he sells a car, a bike, and his child's bed.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 02, 2018 11:32AM

Thank God he can cater his party with gift cards from his listeners

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: March 02, 2018 01:10PM

Water cut off? Is there a timestamp for that?

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Oh, Meara ()
Date: March 02, 2018 01:12PM

Water problems follow poor Mike everywhere -- unpaid lawn sprinkler bill in Manassas, VA, water cut off in Walmart, FL.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: March 02, 2018 02:13PM

Fattt Robbb right at minute 1: "You've lived through hurricanes!" No, there was ONE hurricane and Brain Damage left the state a week or two in advance. To this day he has not bought a single drink for a first responder or we would have heard about it.

Good catch on that unpaid water bill. It didn't register with me. That's what this site is about, teamwork! And praying for Gallagher's quick painful death.

Minute 48-49 Fattt Robbb says "Point of order, it was Higgins' Ferrari, but he used it." NO Fattt Robbb, it was Robin Masters' Ferrari and the reveal that Higgins was Robin Masters didn't happen until the series finale. Higgins always called it "Mr. Masters' Ferrari".

And that's not what a point of order is either Fattt Robbb. Fuck you, child in a fat suit.

Hi Fattt Robbb! Hit Fattt Robbb! Fuck you now Fattt Robbb! How are those Moody Blues Fattt Robbb?

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: March 02, 2018 03:41PM

Oh, Meara Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Water problems follow poor Mike everywhere --
> unpaid lawn sprinkler bill in Manassas, VA, water
> cut off in Walmart, FL.

Walmart, Florida.... that's the shit!
Forever it shall now be...
Walmart, Florida.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 02, 2018 03:46PM

You're correct, he should have said point of fact

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: BOAD Guy 667 ()
Date: March 02, 2018 03:50PM

I always serve Reese's with Margaritas. What a great combination.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 02, 2018 04:12PM

Why did he think Mexican food was going to be a hit in a retirement community? He should have used the Buco di Bepo gift cards to cater his party

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: TMOS is the Bestest Ever! ()
Date: March 02, 2018 04:37PM

just an excuse to make up gallons of margaritas as a pretense

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Mike O'Meara ()
Date: March 02, 2018 05:47PM

BOAD Guy 667 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I always serve Reese's with Margaritas. What a
> great combination.

I always eat Reese's with Margaritas. What a great combination. My personal chocolate cake was GONE when I turned in Friday night. I didn't realize it leading up to the day but the party was really an excuse for me to eat an entire chocolate cake. It was sooooooo good! When I found it in the trash can the next day. Carla means well, but Daddy has needs!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza cannon ()
Date: March 02, 2018 06:30PM


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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Sallagher Gash! ()
Date: March 02, 2018 07:22PM

This article is from 2013. Thank God/Allah/Hubbard that not only has Gallagher *not* retired, he's still going strong. And remains a comedy force to be reckoned with.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Gallagher might die tonight.

Did you know he is still alive?

He is. Pretty much. Surprise.

He's scheduled to make one last appearance in the Tampa Bay area, the place he thinks of as home, the locale that launched him on a three-decade-plus comedy career highlighted by 14 specials on Showtime. He's back home now, and due on stage at the Capitol Theater in Clearwater tonight, if he makes it. If.

And there's nothing funny about that. The man is 66 and says he feels good, but he felt good every time he had a heart attack, and he's had four. One was so severe doctors put Gallagher in a medically induced coma for several days, and when he came out he announced he was retiring, hanging up the Sledge-O-Matic after one last swing.

These are difficult times for Gallagher, and not exclusively due to his bad heart. He says he hasn't talked to his little brother, Ron, in 20 years, not since Gallagher sued Ron for trademark infringement for mimicking his act and billing himself as Gallagher II. What's more, the media have labeled Gallagher a bigot, a racist, a homophobe, a crazy uncle, a tea party panderer. Lesser comics have fun at his expense. One of the most recognizable comedians of the 1980s told a radio audience last year that he was broke and living in Super 8 motels and scavenging on roadsides.

Difficult times for the sad clown, indeed. Unless it's all part of the shtick.

Unless Gallagher is trolling America.

• • •

It's Saturday evening, and Gallagher finishes his Camel and unzips his bag in the parking lot of the Home Depot on N Dale Mabry Highway, where he has come to construct a Sledge-O-Matic for the show. He makes a new one in every town he visits. Sitting atop some clothes and magazines in his bag is a bullwhip. It would be freaky even if it wasn't Gallagher.

"I'm doing a sitcom and my costume is a ringleader," he explains.

He dips into the bag and comes up with a handful of magazines, then a plastic cup shaped like a boot. He has an idea for how to use it as a prop.

"I get ideas in all different areas," he says, excited. "My new idea is for the models in the fashion shows to sing about how the outfit makes them feel."

Without being asked, he pulls out an iPad-like device and shows some of the poetry and songs he's been working on. He has written a number about clothes, a poem about breasts and a rap about the Ten Commandments.

Why?

"For the world," he says, sounding incensed. "I'm making it a better place. I'm Gallagher. What the f--- do you think I'm doing?"

• • •

Before he was Gallagher, he was Leo, called "Butch," born on July 24, 1946, at Fort Bragg, N.C., after his father returned from World War II. His first years were spent around Cleveland, Ohio, and when his folks realized Butch had asthma, they shot south and wound up in Tampa, in Palma Ceia.

His dad built a skating rink on Armenia Avenue, where Butch got good enough to place in a national skating competition. He went to church at Good Shepherd Lutheran on Dale Mabry and went on Boy Scout expeditions to Lithia Springs. He graduated from H.B. Plant High School in 1964.

He enrolled in night school at the University of South Florida so he could work during the day. He changed his major occasionally to avoid Vietnam, and he signed up for the classes where he thought he'd find the best looking co-eds. He got popped in the late '60s for smoking pot near his dad's skating rink.

He left town with a girl for Los Angeles, one credit short of a USF degree, and bounced from L.A. to Chicago to West Virginia before he wound up back in Tampa, trying to become a writer. He worked at Lum's Hot Dog Restaurant on Hillsborough Avenue and someone told him he was funny.

He had been developing a routine inspired by a television infomercial for the Ronco Veg-O-Matic. He began to murder fruits and vegetables and started doing gigs around town. He opened for Bobby Rydell at a hotel in Tampa and got on The Mike Douglas Show and started touring with Jim Stafford. In the late '70s, he opened 100 shows for Kenny Rogers, and in 1980 he made a television special called Gallagher: An Uncensored Evening, his big break. It was the first time Americans on that scale beheld the crazy bald man wielding his Sledge-O-Matic.

And lord, how they laughed.

• • •

A few things stand out about Gallagher's inaugural television special. First is that it's in a tiny night club and nobody brought a raincoat or umbrella or riot helmet to guard against flying bits of fruit. That would all come later.

Second is that Gallagher's jokes are racially and ethnically insensitive, to say the least. He had something to say about Mexicans, Poles, Japanese. On and on.

"You know why a polack can't eat pickles? He can't get his head in the jar."

The audience ate it up. They laughed so hard they spilled their beers. And when it was over, they gave him a standing ovation.

Fast forward thirty years, to August of 2010, at the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, a meet-up for fans of the band Insane Clown Posse. There in a side tent, the Juggalos sit around on bales of hay, and up on stage, standing barefoot on a short table, is a paunchy Gallagher. His hair is lighter and more stringy, like hay. And he's still doing the bit.

He starts by telling them that he knows the problem with America. "The problem is I'm not on TV anymore," he says, "because they can't handle the truth!"

And the truth, he says, launching into a favorite routine, is that we're losing our culture because we've become okay with crossbreeds — things like the spoon-fork (spork) and Escalades with truck beds and people who wear socks with sandals. But on this night he starts in immediately on President Obama.

"How many black dudes do you know from Hawaii?" he asks.

There's a little laughter, but it's uncomfortable.

"He's half black and half white. He's a latte. There's white milk in there. Could be goat milk," Gallagher says. "He could be an Arab terrorist. He's got 'bam' in his name."

"Wow," someone in the audience says.

He's losing them, but he keeps going.

"They said, 'Gallagher you can't be on TV, you're not sensitive to the needs of the handicapped,' " he says. "I said, 'I am too. That's why I use all their parking spaces.

"I don't know why they've got to be so close," he says. "It ain't like they gotta walk."

He senses the Juggalos' unease.

"You're backing off on me," he says. "You want to be politically correct. Just be correct."

He soon slips into a kind of internal monologue. He's speaking into the microphone, but it feels like he's talking to himself.

"I need wrong to get laughs," Gallagher says. "I need a normal world so that I can be abnormal and that's my problem. Comedians need prejudice."

Gallagher, by the end, has stopped being funny and has become something else, and it seems pretty clear that there's not much difference between the Gallagher now and the Gallagher of 30 years ago. What's different is us.

• • •

Gallagher needs some help cutting plywood for the Sledge-O-Matic, and a Home Depot employee seems to recognize him but doesn't say anything.

"Are you going to smash something?" the man finally asks.

Gallagher smiles.

A few minutes later, the man looks at Gallagher.

"How you feeling?" he asks.

"I don't know," Gallagher says. "I'm 66, and I ran it into the ground. I'm going to have them put that on my tombstone."

• • •

So this is how it ends: The Last Smash Tour, with a show in Clearwater tonight and a schedule that ends in August at the Defiance County Fair in Hicksville, Ohio. He has to stop on account of his heart, even if Gallagher says he's not scared of death.

"When your d--- don't work, death doesn't bother you," he says.

The problem with this last hurrah is that Gallagher still has a lot to say about what we're doing wrong.

"You look in your newspaper," he tells me. "Half of the stories are about an inability to define. Is it a tax or is it a revenue enhancer? . . . I say things completely. And this politically correct thing, you always have to modify everything you're saying so you wind up not saying anything."

"Is this the act?" I ask. "Or is it you?"

"I think that's a good question."

He pauses.

"It must be me," he says finally. "It must be me. I observe. I'm a scientist."

He studied chemistry at USF. He observes. He has a patent — No. 7,972,210 — for an improved slot machine. He's meeting with casino people to develop it. He's writing music and pitching television shows. He ran for governor of California. He's a living legend, he says. He doesn't need family because his fans are his family. He's done 4,000 shows, 12,000 hours on stage. He's probably the most famous person to come out of Tampa, he says. He's put 35 years into show business, smashing fruit all over America, and we ate it up, the whole gooey thing, for $25 a ticket. Even now, people come. These jokes still work. Don't you get it?
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Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher for President ()
Date: March 02, 2018 07:31PM

Sallagher Gash! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This article is from 2013. Thank God/Allah/Hubbard
> that not only has Gallagher *not* retired, he's
> still going strong. And remains a comedy force to
> be reckoned with.
>
> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>
> Gallagher might die tonight.
>
> Did you know he is still alive?
>
> He is. Pretty much. Surprise.
>
> He's scheduled to make one last appearance in the
> Tampa Bay area, the place he thinks of as home,
> the locale that launched him on a
> three-decade-plus comedy career highlighted by 14
> specials on Showtime. He's back home now, and due
> on stage at the Capitol Theater in Clearwater
> tonight, if he makes it. If.
>
> And there's nothing funny about that. The man is
> 66 and says he feels good, but he felt good every
> time he had a heart attack, and he's had four. One
> was so severe doctors put Gallagher in a medically
> induced coma for several days, and when he came
> out he announced he was retiring, hanging up the
> Sledge-O-Matic after one last swing.
>
> These are difficult times for Gallagher, and not
> exclusively due to his bad heart. He says he
> hasn't talked to his little brother, Ron, in 20
> years, not since Gallagher sued Ron for trademark
> infringement for mimicking his act and billing
> himself as Gallagher II. What's more, the media
> have labeled Gallagher a bigot, a racist, a
> homophobe, a crazy uncle, a tea party panderer.
> Lesser comics have fun at his expense. One of the
> most recognizable comedians of the 1980s told a
> radio audience last year that he was broke and
> living in Super 8 motels and scavenging on
> roadsides.
>
> Difficult times for the sad clown, indeed. Unless
> it's all part of the shtick.
>
> Unless Gallagher is trolling America.
>
> • • •
>
> It's Saturday evening, and Gallagher finishes his
> Camel and unzips his bag in the parking lot of the
> Home Depot on N Dale Mabry Highway, where he has
> come to construct a Sledge-O-Matic for the show.
> He makes a new one in every town he visits.
> Sitting atop some clothes and magazines in his bag
> is a bullwhip. It would be freaky even if it
> wasn't Gallagher.
>
> "I'm doing a sitcom and my costume is a
> ringleader," he explains.
>
> He dips into the bag and comes up with a handful
> of magazines, then a plastic cup shaped like a
> boot. He has an idea for how to use it as a prop.
>
> "I get ideas in all different areas," he says,
> excited. "My new idea is for the models in the
> fashion shows to sing about how the outfit makes
> them feel."
>
> Without being asked, he pulls out an iPad-like
> device and shows some of the poetry and songs he's
> been working on. He has written a number about
> clothes, a poem about breasts and a rap about the
> Ten Commandments.
>
> Why?
>
> "For the world," he says, sounding incensed. "I'm
> making it a better place. I'm Gallagher. What the
> f--- do you think I'm doing?"
>
> • • •
>
> Before he was Gallagher, he was Leo, called
> "Butch," born on July 24, 1946, at Fort Bragg,
> N.C., after his father returned from World War II.
> His first years were spent around Cleveland, Ohio,
> and when his folks realized Butch had asthma, they
> shot south and wound up in Tampa, in Palma Ceia.
>
> His dad built a skating rink on Armenia Avenue,
> where Butch got good enough to place in a national
> skating competition. He went to church at Good
> Shepherd Lutheran on Dale Mabry and went on Boy
> Scout expeditions to Lithia Springs. He graduated
> from H.B. Plant High School in 1964.
>
> He enrolled in night school at the University of
> South Florida so he could work during the day. He
> changed his major occasionally to avoid Vietnam,
> and he signed up for the classes where he thought
> he'd find the best looking co-eds. He got popped
> in the late '60s for smoking pot near his dad's
> skating rink.
>
> He left town with a girl for Los Angeles, one
> credit short of a USF degree, and bounced from
> L.A. to Chicago to West Virginia before he wound
> up back in Tampa, trying to become a writer. He
> worked at Lum's Hot Dog Restaurant on Hillsborough
> Avenue and someone told him he was funny.
>
> He had been developing a routine inspired by a
> television infomercial for the Ronco Veg-O-Matic.
> He began to murder fruits and vegetables and
> started doing gigs around town. He opened for
> Bobby Rydell at a hotel in Tampa and got on The
> Mike Douglas Show and started touring with Jim
> Stafford. In the late '70s, he opened 100 shows
> for Kenny Rogers, and in 1980 he made a television
> special called Gallagher: An Uncensored Evening,
> his big break. It was the first time Americans on
> that scale beheld the crazy bald man wielding his
> Sledge-O-Matic.
>
> And lord, how they laughed.
>
> • • •
>
> A few things stand out about Gallagher's inaugural
> television special. First is that it's in a tiny
> night club and nobody brought a raincoat or
> umbrella or riot helmet to guard against flying
> bits of fruit. That would all come later.
>
> Second is that Gallagher's jokes are racially and
> ethnically insensitive, to say the least. He had
> something to say about Mexicans, Poles, Japanese.
> On and on.
>
> "You know why a polack can't eat pickles? He can't
> get his head in the jar."
>
> The audience ate it up. They laughed so hard they
> spilled their beers. And when it was over, they
> gave him a standing ovation.
>
> Fast forward thirty years, to August of 2010, at
> the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, a meet-up
> for fans of the band Insane Clown Posse. There in
> a side tent, the Juggalos sit around on bales of
> hay, and up on stage, standing barefoot on a short
> table, is a paunchy Gallagher. His hair is lighter
> and more stringy, like hay. And he's still doing
> the bit.
>
> He starts by telling them that he knows the
> problem with America. "The problem is I'm not on
> TV anymore," he says, "because they can't handle
> the truth!"
>
> And the truth, he says, launching into a favorite
> routine, is that we're losing our culture because
> we've become okay with crossbreeds — things like
> the spoon-fork (spork) and Escalades with truck
> beds and people who wear socks with sandals. But
> on this night he starts in immediately on
> President Obama.
>
> "How many black dudes do you know from Hawaii?" he
> asks.
>
> There's a little laughter, but it's
> uncomfortable.
>
> "He's half black and half white. He's a latte.
> There's white milk in there. Could be goat milk,"
> Gallagher says. "He could be an Arab terrorist.
> He's got 'bam' in his name."
>
> "Wow," someone in the audience says.
>
> He's losing them, but he keeps going.
>
> "They said, 'Gallagher you can't be on TV, you're
> not sensitive to the needs of the handicapped,' "
> he says. "I said, 'I am too. That's why I use all
> their parking spaces.
>
> "I don't know why they've got to be so close," he
> says. "It ain't like they gotta walk."
>
> He senses the Juggalos' unease.
>
> "You're backing off on me," he says. "You want to
> be politically correct. Just be correct."
>
> He soon slips into a kind of internal monologue.
> He's speaking into the microphone, but it feels
> like he's talking to himself.
>
> "I need wrong to get laughs," Gallagher says. "I
> need a normal world so that I can be abnormal and
> that's my problem. Comedians need prejudice."
>
> Gallagher, by the end, has stopped being funny and
> has become something else, and it seems pretty
> clear that there's not much difference between the
> Gallagher now and the Gallagher of 30 years ago.
> What's different is us.
>
> • • •
>
> Gallagher needs some help cutting plywood for the
> Sledge-O-Matic, and a Home Depot employee seems to
> recognize him but doesn't say anything.
>
> "Are you going to smash something?" the man
> finally asks.
>
> Gallagher smiles.
>
> A few minutes later, the man looks at Gallagher.
>
> "How you feeling?" he asks.
>
> "I don't know," Gallagher says. "I'm 66, and I ran
> it into the ground. I'm going to have them put
> that on my tombstone."
>
> • • •
>
> So this is how it ends: The Last Smash Tour, with
> a show in Clearwater tonight and a schedule that
> ends in August at the Defiance County Fair in
> Hicksville, Ohio. He has to stop on account of his
> heart, even if Gallagher says he's not scared of
> death.
>
> "When your d--- don't work, death doesn't bother
> you," he says.
>
> The problem with this last hurrah is that
> Gallagher still has a lot to say about what we're
> doing wrong.
>
> "You look in your newspaper," he tells me. "Half
> of the stories are about an inability to define.
> Is it a tax or is it a revenue enhancer? . . . I
> say things completely. And this politically
> correct thing, you always have to modify
> everything you're saying so you wind up not saying
> anything."
>
> "Is this the act?" I ask. "Or is it you?"
>
> "I think that's a good question."
>
> He pauses.
>
> "It must be me," he says finally. "It must be me.
> I observe. I'm a scientist."
>
> He studied chemistry at USF. He observes. He has a
> patent — No. 7,972,210 — for an improved slot
> machine. He's meeting with casino people to
> develop it. He's writing music and pitching
> television shows. He ran for governor of
> California. He's a living legend, he says. He
> doesn't need family because his fans are his
> family. He's done 4,000 shows, 12,000 hours on
> stage. He's probably the most famous person to
> come out of Tampa, he says. He's put 35 years into
> show business, smashing fruit all over America,
> and we ate it up, the whole gooey thing, for $25 a
> ticket. Even now, people come. These jokes still
> work. Don't you get it?
> This article is from 2013. Thank God/Allah/Hubbard
> that not only has Gallagher *not* retired, he's
> still going strong. And remains a comedy force to
> be reckoned with.
>
> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>
> Gallagher might die tonight.
>
> Did you know he is still alive?
>
> He is. Pretty much. Surprise.
>
> He's scheduled to make one last appearance in the
> Tampa Bay area, the place he thinks of as home,
> the locale that launched him on a
> three-decade-plus comedy career highlighted by 14
> specials on Showtime. He's back home now, and due
> on stage at the Capitol Theater in Clearwater
> tonight, if he makes it. If.
>
> And there's nothing funny about that. The man is
> 66 and says he feels good, but he felt good every
> time he had a heart attack, and he's had four. One
> was so severe doctors put Gallagher in a medically
> induced coma for several days, and when he came
> out he announced he was retiring, hanging up the
> Sledge-O-Matic after one last swing.
>
> These are difficult times for Gallagher, and not
> exclusively due to his bad heart. He says he
> hasn't talked to his little brother, Ron, in 20
> years, not since Gallagher sued Ron for trademark
> infringement for mimicking his act and billing
> himself as Gallagher II. What's more, the media
> have labeled Gallagher a bigot, a racist, a
> homophobe, a crazy uncle, a tea party panderer.
> Lesser comics have fun at his expense. One of the
> most recognizable comedians of the 1980s told a
> radio audience last year that he was broke and
> living in Super 8 motels and scavenging on
> roadsides.
>
> Difficult times for the sad clown, indeed. Unless
> it's all part of the shtick.
>
> Unless Gallagher is trolling America.
>
> • • •
>
> It's Saturday evening, and Gallagher finishes his
> Camel and unzips his bag in the parking lot of the
> Home Depot on N Dale Mabry Highway, where he has
> come to construct a Sledge-O-Matic for the show.
> He makes a new one in every town he visits.
> Sitting atop some clothes and magazines in his bag
> is a bullwhip. It would be freaky even if it
> wasn't Gallagher.
>
> "I'm doing a sitcom and my costume is a
> ringleader," he explains.
>
> He dips into the bag and comes up with a handful
> of magazines, then a plastic cup shaped like a
> boot. He has an idea for how to use it as a prop.
>
> "I get ideas in all different areas," he says,
> excited. "My new idea is for the models in the
> fashion shows to sing about how the outfit makes
> them feel."
>
> Without being asked, he pulls out an iPad-like
> device and shows some of the poetry and songs he's
> been working on. He has written a number about
> clothes, a poem about breasts and a rap about the
> Ten Commandments.
>
> Why?
>
> "For the world," he says, sounding incensed. "I'm
> making it a better place. I'm Gallagher. What the
> f--- do you think I'm doing?"
>
> • • •
>
> Before he was Gallagher, he was Leo, called
> "Butch," born on July 24, 1946, at Fort Bragg,
> N.C., after his father returned from World War II.
> His first years were spent around Cleveland, Ohio,
> and when his folks realized Butch had asthma, they
> shot south and wound up in Tampa, in Palma Ceia.
>
> His dad built a skating rink on Armenia Avenue,
> where Butch got good enough to place in a national
> skating competition. He went to church at Good
> Shepherd Lutheran on Dale Mabry and went on Boy
> Scout expeditions to Lithia Springs. He graduated
> from H.B. Plant High School in 1964.
>
> He enrolled in night school at the University of
> South Florida so he could work during the day. He
> changed his major occasionally to avoid Vietnam,
> and he signed up for the classes where he thought
> he'd find the best looking co-eds. He got popped
> in the late '60s for smoking pot near his dad's
> skating rink.
>
> He left town with a girl for Los Angeles, one
> credit short of a USF degree, and bounced from
> L.A. to Chicago to West Virginia before he wound
> up back in Tampa, trying to become a writer. He
> worked at Lum's Hot Dog Restaurant on Hillsborough
> Avenue and someone told him he was funny.
>
> He had been developing a routine inspired by a
> television infomercial for the Ronco Veg-O-Matic.
> He began to murder fruits and vegetables and
> started doing gigs around town. He opened for
> Bobby Rydell at a hotel in Tampa and got on The
> Mike Douglas Show and started touring with Jim
> Stafford. In the late '70s, he opened 100 shows
> for Kenny Rogers, and in 1980 he made a television
> special called Gallagher: An Uncensored Evening,
> his big break. It was the first time Americans on
> that scale beheld the crazy bald man wielding his
> Sledge-O-Matic.
>
> And lord, how they laughed.
>
> • • •
>
> A few things stand out about Gallagher's inaugural
> television special. First is that it's in a tiny
> night club and nobody brought a raincoat or
> umbrella or riot helmet to guard against flying
> bits of fruit. That would all come later.
>
> Second is that Gallagher's jokes are racially and
> ethnically insensitive, to say the least. He had
> something to say about Mexicans, Poles, Japanese.
> On and on.
>
> "You know why a polack can't eat pickles? He can't
> get his head in the jar."
>
> The audience ate it up. They laughed so hard they
> spilled their beers. And when it was over, they
> gave him a standing ovation.
>
> Fast forward thirty years, to August of 2010, at
> the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, a meet-up
> for fans of the band Insane Clown Posse. There in
> a side tent, the Juggalos sit around on bales of
> hay, and up on stage, standing barefoot on a short
> table, is a paunchy Gallagher. His hair is lighter
> and more stringy, like hay. And he's still doing
> the bit.
>
> He starts by telling them that he knows the
> problem with America. "The problem is I'm not on
> TV anymore," he says, "because they can't handle
> the truth!"
>
> And the truth, he says, launching into a favorite
> routine, is that we're losing our culture because
> we've become okay with crossbreeds — things like
> the spoon-fork (spork) and Escalades with truck
> beds and people who wear socks with sandals. But
> on this night he starts in immediately on
> President Obama.
>
> "How many black dudes do you know from Hawaii?" he
> asks.
>
> There's a little laughter, but it's
> uncomfortable.
>
> "He's half black and half white. He's a latte.
> There's white milk in there. Could be goat milk,"
> Gallagher says. "He could be an Arab terrorist.
> He's got 'bam' in his name."
>
> "Wow," someone in the audience says.
>
> He's losing them, but he keeps going.
>
> "They said, 'Gallagher you can't be on TV, you're
> not sensitive to the needs of the handicapped,' "
> he says. "I said, 'I am too. That's why I use all
> their parking spaces.
>
> "I don't know why they've got to be so close," he
> says. "It ain't like they gotta walk."
>
> He senses the Juggalos' unease.
>
> "You're backing off on me," he says. "You want to
> be politically correct. Just be correct."
>
> He soon slips into a kind of internal monologue.
> He's speaking into the microphone, but it feels
> like he's talking to himself.
>
> "I need wrong to get laughs," Gallagher says. "I
> need a normal world so that I can be abnormal and
> that's my problem. Comedians need prejudice."
>
> Gallagher, by the end, has stopped being funny and
> has become something else, and it seems pretty
> clear that there's not much difference between the
> Gallagher now and the Gallagher of 30 years ago.
> What's different is us.
>
> • • •
>
> Gallagher needs some help cutting plywood for the
> Sledge-O-Matic, and a Home Depot employee seems to
> recognize him but doesn't say anything.
>
> "Are you going to smash something?" the man
> finally asks.
>
> Gallagher smiles.
>
> A few minutes later, the man looks at Gallagher.
>
> "How you feeling?" he asks.
>
> "I don't know," Gallagher says. "I'm 66, and I ran
> it into the ground. I'm going to have them put
> that on my tombstone."
>
> • • •
>
> So this is how it ends: The Last Smash Tour, with
> a show in Clearwater tonight and a schedule that
> ends in August at the Defiance County Fair in
> Hicksville, Ohio. He has to stop on account of his
> heart, even if Gallagher says he's not scared of
> death.
>
> "When your d--- don't work, death doesn't bother
> you," he says.
>
> The problem with this last hurrah is that
> Gallagher still has a lot to say about what we're
> doing wrong.
>
> "You look in your newspaper," he tells me. "Half
> of the stories are about an inability to define.
> Is it a tax or is it a revenue enhancer? . . . I
> say things completely. And this politically
> correct thing, you always have to modify
> everything you're saying so you wind up not saying
> anything."
>
> "Is this the act?" I ask. "Or is it you?"
>
> "I think that's a good question."
>
> He pauses.
>
> "It must be me," he says finally. "It must be me.
> I observe. I'm a scientist."
>
> He studied chemistry at USF. He observes. He has a
> patent — No. 7,972,210 — for an improved slot
> machine. He's meeting with casino people to
> develop it. He's writing music and pitching
> television shows. He ran for governor of
> California. He's a living legend, he says. He
> doesn't need family because his fans are his
> family. He's done 4,000 shows, 12,000 hours on
> stage. He's probably the most famous person to
> come out of Tampa, he says. He's put 35 years into
> show business, smashing fruit all over America,
> and we ate it up, the whole gooey thing, for $25 a
> ticket. Even now, people come. These jokes still
> work. Don't you get it?
> This article is from 2013. Thank God/Allah/Hubbard
> that not only has Gallagher *not* retired, he's
> still going strong. And remains a comedy force to
> be reckoned with.
>
> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>
> Gallagher might die tonight.
>
> Did you know he is still alive?
>
> He is. Pretty much. Surprise.
>
> He's scheduled to make one last appearance in the
> Tampa Bay area, the place he thinks of as home,
> the locale that launched him on a
> three-decade-plus comedy career highlighted by 14
> specials on Showtime. He's back home now, and due
> on stage at the Capitol Theater in Clearwater
> tonight, if he makes it. If.
>
> And there's nothing funny about that. The man is
> 66 and says he feels good, but he felt good every
> time he had a heart attack, and he's had four. One
> was so severe doctors put Gallagher in a medically
> induced coma for several days, and when he came
> out he announced he was retiring, hanging up the
> Sledge-O-Matic after one last swing.
>
> These are difficult times for Gallagher, and not
> exclusively due to his bad heart. He says he
> hasn't talked to his little brother, Ron, in 20
> years, not since Gallagher sued Ron for trademark
> infringement for mimicking his act and billing
> himself as Gallagher II. What's more, the media
> have labeled Gallagher a bigot, a racist, a
> homophobe, a crazy uncle, a tea party panderer.
> Lesser comics have fun at his expense. One of the
> most recognizable comedians of the 1980s told a
> radio audience last year that he was broke and
> living in Super 8 motels and scavenging on
> roadsides.
>
> Difficult times for the sad clown, indeed. Unless
> it's all part of the shtick.
>
> Unless Gallagher is trolling America.
>
> • • •
>
> It's Saturday evening, and Gallagher finishes his
> Camel and unzips his bag in the parking lot of the
> Home Depot on N Dale Mabry Highway, where he has
> come to construct a Sledge-O-Matic for the show.
> He makes a new one in every town he visits.
> Sitting atop some clothes and magazines in his bag
> is a bullwhip. It would be freaky even if it
> wasn't Gallagher.
>
> "I'm doing a sitcom and my costume is a
> ringleader," he explains.
>
> He dips into the bag and comes up with a handful
> of magazines, then a plastic cup shaped like a
> boot. He has an idea for how to use it as a prop.
>
> "I get ideas in all different areas," he says,
> excited. "My new idea is for the models in the
> fashion shows to sing about how the outfit makes
> them feel."
>
> Without being asked, he pulls out an iPad-like
> device and shows some of the poetry and songs he's
> been working on. He has written a number about
> clothes, a poem about breasts and a rap about the
> Ten Commandments.
>
> Why?
>
> "For the world," he says, sounding incensed. "I'm
> making it a better place. I'm Gallagher. What the
> f--- do you think I'm doing?"
>
> • • •
>
> Before he was Gallagher, he was Leo, called
> "Butch," born on July 24, 1946, at Fort Bragg,
> N.C., after his father returned from World War II.
> His first years were spent around Cleveland, Ohio,
> and when his folks realized Butch had asthma, they
> shot south and wound up in Tampa, in Palma Ceia.
>
> His dad built a skating rink on Armenia Avenue,
> where Butch got good enough to place in a national
> skating competition. He went to church at Good
> Shepherd Lutheran on Dale Mabry and went on Boy
> Scout expeditions to Lithia Springs. He graduated
> from H.B. Plant High School in 1964.
>
> He enrolled in night school at the University of
> South Florida so he could work during the day. He
> changed his major occasionally to avoid Vietnam,
> and he signed up for the classes where he thought
> he'd find the best looking co-eds. He got popped
> in the late '60s for smoking pot near his dad's
> skating rink.
>
> He left town with a girl for Los Angeles, one
> credit short of a USF degree, and bounced from
> L.A. to Chicago to West Virginia before he wound
> up back in Tampa, trying to become a writer. He
> worked at Lum's Hot Dog Restaurant on Hillsborough
> Avenue and someone told him he was funny.
>
> He had been developing a routine inspired by a
> television infomercial for the Ronco Veg-O-Matic.
> He began to murder fruits and vegetables and
> started doing gigs around town. He opened for
> Bobby Rydell at a hotel in Tampa and got on The
> Mike Douglas Show and started touring with Jim
> Stafford. In the late '70s, he opened 100 shows
> for Kenny Rogers, and in 1980 he made a television
> special called Gallagher: An Uncensored Evening,
> his big break. It was the first time Americans on
> that scale beheld the crazy bald man wielding his
> Sledge-O-Matic.
>
> And lord, how they laughed.
>
> • • •
>
> A few things stand out about Gallagher's inaugural
> television special. First is that it's in a tiny
> night club and nobody brought a raincoat or
> umbrella or riot helmet to guard against flying
> bits of fruit. That would all come later.
>
> Second is that Gallagher's jokes are racially and
> ethnically insensitive, to say the least. He had
> something to say about Mexicans, Poles, Japanese.
> On and on.
>
> "You know why a polack can't eat pickles? He can't
> get his head in the jar."
>
> The audience ate it up. They laughed so hard they
> spilled their beers. And when it was over, they
> gave him a standing ovation.
>
> Fast forward thirty years, to August of 2010, at
> the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, a meet-up
> for fans of the band Insane Clown Posse. There in
> a side tent, the Juggalos sit around on bales of
> hay, and up on stage, standing barefoot on a short
> table, is a paunchy Gallagher. His hair is lighter
> and more stringy, like hay. And he's still doing
> the bit.
>
> He starts by telling them that he knows the
> problem with America. "The problem is I'm not on
> TV anymore," he says, "because they can't handle
> the truth!"
>
> And the truth, he says, launching into a favorite
> routine, is that we're losing our culture because
> we've become okay with crossbreeds — things like
> the spoon-fork (spork) and Escalades with truck
> beds and people who wear socks with sandals. But
> on this night he starts in immediately on
> President Obama.
>
> "How many black dudes do you know from Hawaii?" he
> asks.
>
> There's a little laughter, but it's
> uncomfortable.
>
> "He's half black and half white. He's a latte.
> There's white milk in there. Could be goat milk,"
> Gallagher says. "He could be an Arab terrorist.
> He's got 'bam' in his name."
>
> "Wow," someone in the audience says.
>
> He's losing them, but he keeps going.
>
> "They said, 'Gallagher you can't be on TV, you're
> not sensitive to the needs of the handicapped,' "
> he says. "I said, 'I am too. That's why I use all
> their parking spaces.
>
> "I don't know why they've got to be so close," he
> says. "It ain't like they gotta walk."
>
> He senses the Juggalos' unease.
>
> "You're backing off on me," he says. "You want to
> be politically correct. Just be correct."
>
> He soon slips into a kind of internal monologue.
> He's speaking into the microphone, but it feels
> like he's talking to himself.
>
> "I need wrong to get laughs," Gallagher says. "I
> need a normal world so that I can be abnormal and
> that's my problem. Comedians need prejudice."
>
> Gallagher, by the end, has stopped being funny and
> has become something else, and it seems pretty
> clear that there's not much difference between the
> Gallagher now and the Gallagher of 30 years ago.
> What's different is us.
>
> • • •
>
> Gallagher needs some help cutting plywood for the
> Sledge-O-Matic, and a Home Depot employee seems to
> recognize him but doesn't say anything.
>
> "Are you going to smash something?" the man
> finally asks.
>
> Gallagher smiles.
>
> A few minutes later, the man looks at Gallagher.
>
> "How you feeling?" he asks.
>
> "I don't know," Gallagher says. "I'm 66, and I ran
> it into the ground. I'm going to have them put
> that on my tombstone."
>
> • • •
>
> So this is how it ends: The Last Smash Tour, with
> a show in Clearwater tonight and a schedule that
> ends in August at the Defiance County Fair in
> Hicksville, Ohio. He has to stop on account of his
> heart, even if Gallagher says he's not scared of
> death.
>
> "When your d--- don't work, death doesn't bother
> you," he says.
>
> The problem with this last hurrah is that
> Gallagher still has a lot to say about what we're
> doing wrong.
>
> "You look in your newspaper," he tells me. "Half
> of the stories are about an inability to define.
> Is it a tax or is it a revenue enhancer? . . . I
> say things completely. And this politically
> correct thing, you always have to modify
> everything you're saying so you wind up not saying
> anything."
>
> "Is this the act?" I ask. "Or is it you?"
>
> "I think that's a good question."
>
> He pauses.
>
> "It must be me," he says finally. "It must be me.
> I observe. I'm a scientist."
>
> He studied chemistry at USF. He observes. He has a
> patent — No. 7,972,210 — for an improved slot
> machine. He's meeting with casino people to
> develop it. He's writing music and pitching
> television shows. He ran for governor of
> California. He's a living legend, he says. He
> doesn't need family because his fans are his
> family. He's done 4,000 shows, 12,000 hours on
> stage. He's probably the most famous person to
> come out of Tampa, he says. He's put 35 years into
> show business, smashing fruit all over America,
> and we ate it up, the whole gooey thing, for $25 a
> ticket. Even now, people come. These jokes still
> work. Don't you get it?
> This article is from 2013. Thank God/Allah/Hubbard
> that not only has Gallagher *not* retired, he's
> still going strong. And remains a comedy force to
> be reckoned with.
>
> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>
> Gallagher might die tonight.
>
> Did you know he is still alive?
>
> He is. Pretty much. Surprise.
>
> He's scheduled to make one last appearance in the
> Tampa Bay area, the place he thinks of as home,
> the locale that launched him on a
> three-decade-plus comedy career highlighted by 14
> specials on Showtime. He's back home now, and due
> on stage at the Capitol Theater in Clearwater
> tonight, if he makes it. If.
>
> And there's nothing funny about that. The man is
> 66 and says he feels good, but he felt good every
> time he had a heart attack, and he's had four. One
> was so severe doctors put Gallagher in a medically
> induced coma for several days, and when he came
> out he announced he was retiring, hanging up the
> Sledge-O-Matic after one last swing.
>
> These are difficult times for Gallagher, and not
> exclusively due to his bad heart. He says he
> hasn't talked to his little brother, Ron, in 20
> years, not since Gallagher sued Ron for trademark
> infringement for mimicking his act and billing
> himself as Gallagher II. What's more, the media
> have labeled Gallagher a bigot, a racist, a
> homophobe, a crazy uncle, a tea party panderer.
> Lesser comics have fun at his expense. One of the
> most recognizable comedians of the 1980s told a
> radio audience last year that he was broke and
> living in Super 8 motels and scavenging on
> roadsides.
>
> Difficult times for the sad clown, indeed. Unless
> it's all part of the shtick.
>
> Unless Gallagher is trolling America.
>
> • • •
>
> It's Saturday evening, and Gallagher finishes his
> Camel and unzips his bag in the parking lot of the
> Home Depot on N Dale Mabry Highway, where he has
> come to construct a Sledge-O-Matic for the show.
> He makes a new one in every town he visits.
> Sitting atop some clothes and magazines in his bag
> is a bullwhip. It would be freaky even if it
> wasn't Gallagher.
>
> "I'm doing a sitcom and my costume is a
> ringleader," he explains.
>
> He dips into the bag and comes up with a handful
> of magazines, then a plastic cup shaped like a
> boot. He has an idea for how to use it as a prop.
>
> "I get ideas in all different areas," he says,
> excited. "My new idea is for the models in the
> fashion shows to sing about how the outfit makes
> them feel."
>
> Without being asked, he pulls out an iPad-like
> device and shows some of the poetry and songs he's
> been working on. He has written a number about
> clothes, a poem about breasts and a rap about the
> Ten Commandments.
>
> Why?
>
> "For the world," he says, sounding incensed. "I'm
> making it a better place. I'm Gallagher. What the
> f--- do you think I'm doing?"
>
> • • •
>
> Before he was Gallagher, he was Leo, called
> "Butch," born on July 24, 1946, at Fort Bragg,
> N.C., after his father returned from World War II.
> His first years were spent around Cleveland, Ohio,
> and when his folks realized Butch had asthma, they
> shot south and wound up in Tampa, in Palma Ceia.
>
> His dad built a skating rink on Armenia Avenue,
> where Butch got good enough to place in a national
> skating competition. He went to church at Good
> Shepherd Lutheran on Dale Mabry and went on Boy
> Scout expeditions to Lithia Springs. He graduated
> from H.B. Plant High School in 1964.
>
> He enrolled in night school at the University of
> South Florida so he could work during the day. He
> changed his major occasionally to avoid Vietnam,
> and he signed up for the classes where he thought
> he'd find the best looking co-eds. He got popped
> in the late '60s for smoking pot near his dad's
> skating rink.
>
> He left town with a girl for Los Angeles, one
> credit short of a USF degree, and bounced from
> L.A. to Chicago to West Virginia before he wound
> up back in Tampa, trying to become a writer. He
> worked at Lum's Hot Dog Restaurant on Hillsborough
> Avenue and someone told him he was funny.
>
> He had been developing a routine inspired by a
> television infomercial for the Ronco Veg-O-Matic.
> He began to murder fruits and vegetables and
> started doing gigs around town. He opened for
> Bobby Rydell at a hotel in Tampa and got on The
> Mike Douglas Show and started touring with Jim
> Stafford. In the late '70s, he opened 100 shows
> for Kenny Rogers, and in 1980 he made a television
> special called Gallagher: An Uncensored Evening,
> his big break. It was the first time Americans on
> that scale beheld the crazy bald man wielding his
> Sledge-O-Matic.
>
> And lord, how they laughed.
>
> • • •
>
> A few things stand out about Gallagher's inaugural
> television special. First is that it's in a tiny
> night club and nobody brought a raincoat or
> umbrella or riot helmet to guard against flying
> bits of fruit. That would all come later.
>
> Second is that Gallagher's jokes are racially and
> ethnically insensitive, to say the least. He had
> something to say about Mexicans, Poles, Japanese.
> On and on.
>
> "You know why a polack can't eat pickles? He can't
> get his head in the jar."
>
> The audience ate it up. They laughed so hard they
> spilled their beers. And when it was over, they
> gave him a standing ovation.
>
> Fast forward thirty years, to August of 2010, at
> the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, a meet-up
> for fans of the band Insane Clown Posse. There in
> a side tent, the Juggalos sit around on bales of
> hay, and up on stage, standing barefoot on a short
> table, is a paunchy Gallagher. His hair is lighter
> and more stringy, like hay. And he's still doing
> the bit.
>
> He starts by telling them that he knows the
> problem with America. "The problem is I'm not on
> TV anymore," he says, "because they can't handle
> the truth!"
>
> And the truth, he says, launching into a favorite
> routine, is that we're losing our culture because
> we've become okay with crossbreeds — things like
> the spoon-fork (spork) and Escalades with truck
> beds and people who wear socks with sandals. But
> on this night he starts in immediately on
> President Obama.
>
> "How many black dudes do you know from Hawaii?" he
> asks.
>
> There's a little laughter, but it's
> uncomfortable.
>
> "He's half black and half white. He's a latte.
> There's white milk in there. Could be goat milk,"
> Gallagher says. "He could be an Arab terrorist.
> He's got 'bam' in his name."
>
> "Wow," someone in the audience says.
>
> He's losing them, but he keeps going.
>
> "They said, 'Gallagher you can't be on TV, you're
> not sensitive to the needs of the handicapped,' "
> he says. "I said, 'I am too. That's why I use all
> their parking spaces.
>
> "I don't know why they've got to be so close," he
> says. "It ain't like they gotta walk."
>
> He senses the Juggalos' unease.
>
> "You're backing off on me," he says. "You want to
> be politically correct. Just be correct."
>
> He soon slips into a kind of internal monologue.
> He's speaking into the microphone, but it feels
> like he's talking to himself.
>
> "I need wrong to get laughs," Gallagher says. "I
> need a normal world so that I can be abnormal and
> that's my problem. Comedians need prejudice."
>
> Gallagher, by the end, has stopped being funny and
> has become something else, and it seems pretty
> clear that there's not much difference between the
> Gallagher now and the Gallagher of 30 years ago.
> What's different is us.
>
> • • •
>
> Gallagher needs some help cutting plywood for the
> Sledge-O-Matic, and a Home Depot employee seems to
> recognize him but doesn't say anything.
>
> "Are you going to smash something?" the man
> finally asks.
>
> Gallagher smiles.
>
> A few minutes later, the man looks at Gallagher.
>
> "How you feeling?" he asks.
>
> "I don't know," Gallagher says. "I'm 66, and I ran
> it into the ground. I'm going to have them put
> that on my tombstone."
>
> • • •
>
> So this is how it ends: The Last Smash Tour, with
> a show in Clearwater tonight and a schedule that
> ends in August at the Defiance County Fair in
> Hicksville, Ohio. He has to stop on account of his
> heart, even if Gallagher says he's not scared of
> death.
>
> "When your d--- don't work, death doesn't bother
> you," he says.
>
> The problem with this last hurrah is that
> Gallagher still has a lot to say about what we're
> doing wrong.
>
> "You look in your newspaper," he tells me. "Half
> of the stories are about an inability to define.
> Is it a tax or is it a revenue enhancer? . . . I
> say things completely. And this politically
> correct thing, you always have to modify
> everything you're saying so you wind up not saying
> anything."
>
> "Is this the act?" I ask. "Or is it you?"
>
> "I think that's a good question."
>
> He pauses.
>
> "It must be me," he says finally. "It must be me.
> I observe. I'm a scientist."
>
> He studied chemistry at USF. He observes. He has a
> patent — No. 7,972,210 — for an improved slot
> machine. He's meeting with casino people to
> develop it. He's writing music and pitching
> television shows. He ran for governor of
> California. He's a living legend, he says. He
> doesn't need family because his fans are his
> family. He's done 4,000 shows, 12,000 hours on
> stage. He's probably the most famous person to
> come out of Tampa, he says. He's put 35 years into
> show business, smashing fruit all over America,
> and we ate it up, the whole gooey thing, for $25 a
> ticket. Even now, people come. These jokes still
> work. Don't you get it?


word.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Lover (Anally) ()
Date: March 02, 2018 07:33PM

I wish a slow lingering painful death on Gallagher at the earliest possible opportunity. If it can't be one of those bleeding diseases from Africa like Ebola, a flareup of his AIDS would be good. Also murder in a senseless streetcrime gone wrong would be good. Being hit by a train would be really cool. I would settle for him falling and becoming a quadriplegic like Christopher Reeves but without the money, that would be cool. Being murdered on stage like Dimebag Darrell would also be good.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Soul Searcher ()
Date: March 02, 2018 07:52PM

Will I find yours?

Gallagher is perhaps the most celebrated comic in modern American history. I don’t think you understand how hurtful your words are to those of us who hold him in such high esteem.

We lost Kevin Meaney already. Just think before you speak.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 02, 2018 08:27PM

I should go ahead and tell you now, all this flattery isn't going to get you anywhere

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: March 02, 2018 09:48PM

I like the story Mike told about Lil's Michael stuffing his pockets with candy and hiding the wrappers in the trash. That lil' devil....

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 02, 2018 10:03PM

Epic. When I got the email the other day asking if I wanted to see Gallagher on Friday night at the Blender Theatre in NYC, I had to think about it for all of the two seconds it took to hit the reply button. Yes. Yes, I did want to see Gallagher. I needed to see Gallagher. I needed to know why this man, at 61, was still touring the nation and smashing food, if, in fact, he was still smashing food, and who in the world would want to see him still smash food. Twenty-five years ago, I'd seen him on the TV as many millions of Americans had. Years later, I saw the E! True Hollywood Story about Gallagher and learned of his brother who toured as his double and the double trouble that had caused. So what would Gallagher be like today?

When he emerged onstage just after 9 p.m., the crowd roared. But the microphone wouldn't work. Gallagher gagged: "How long does it take the sound guy to do cocaine?" For those who could hear him, laughter. When they fixed the problem (an unplugged wire), the show would begin. Or not. Turns out, Gallagher informed us all, that he had only sold 200 tickets by the day prior to arriving at New York City. So an opening act, the "Aspiring Tyrants," entered the fray and sold an additional 100 tickets for the show at the Blender Theatre. Gallagher, doing the math, then told it to us: "For every two people here to see me, there's one person to see them." So see them we must. All four of them. All four of them unknown to even us who follow the NYC comedy scene. This had become…a bringer show!? Indeed it had. The oddest, largest bringer show I've seen. I have the names of these comedians (the strongest of whom told me and my friends afterward that they know someone at Live Nation who hooked them up with the show), but I shall not name them here. Not in this post, anyhow. And you shall see why in the next sentence.

When I tell you how Gallagher proceeded to first "coach" and then outright "heckle" each of his four opening acts. It started off benignly, the first opener shuffling and mumbling, so Gallagher ran up and said to get right into the jokes. "How do you make pickled whorebread?" Gallagher asked. "Dill dough!" And he ran off. It derailed and went far, far off the tracks from there.

After the fourth or fifth interruption, the crowd began to feel bad for this first unknown comic. Remember, there were 100 ticketholders who wanted to see these openers. During Gallagher's heckling of the second opener, someone from the crowd shouted, "I want a watermelon!" Gallagher's retort: "That's the climax. You get yours early, I guess." Show salvaged? Not quite. The third opener bombed about as big as an unknown comedian can bomb. He even acknowledged it onstage, while drinking a can of beer. I turned to my friends and said I'd much rather watch this at home on my TV under heavy medication, instead of how I was watching this unfold, completely sober. Gallagher even had two of these openers, plus a kid from the front row, act out a joke about a bear and rabbit crapping in the woods. The fourth opener had some material and stage presence going for him, and even held his own when Gallagher hopped onstage again and this time took off his shirt and put on a silly hat. Marianne Ways, sitting behind me, took a bunch of photos and at this point, said she had seen Gallagher live when she was 13. "All the old feelings are coming back to me," she said. After Gallagher interrupted the fourth opener by questioning his transition from one topic to another, the opener said, "It was a funny joke, until you came onstage." Now the crowd was on the opener's side and Gallagher eventually trudged off and disappeared. We even wondered if he'd had enough himself and gone back to his hotel. But no. After an hour of this - yes, this opening sequence sucked an entire hour out of our lives - and after the four openers stopped the show entirely to have their pictures taken. Seriously. No joke. And by that, I mean, no joke.

After all of that, Gallagher emerged to start his show.
Gallagher had 25 minutes of material to deliver before you even saw the first prop, a banana peel covering a hot dog that he dug out of his pocket. He talked about his age, how he now looks at women as "a bag of hamburgers, and I'm not hungry," and about getting his prostate checked. He talked about wondering why God designed the human body the way He did. He joked about getting in trouble with gay people, deaf people, the handicapped, and proved why by doing several troublesome jokes. He told us, in all seriousness, that he was making us think. "This is the smartest show you'll ever go to," Gallagher told us. He talked about his problem with all of the French words in the English language and that they turn us into sissies. Who says the word sissy anymore, anyhow? Only a sissy. Moving on. Plenty of "Hey-OH!" groaner jokes to be had in this set. There was a drunk couple in the front row who liked to chatter so much that Gallagher stopped the show more than once and eventually ordered them out, which led to the drunk woman's family members to also leave. Or so we thought. The drunk man emerged from out of nowhere a couple of times, once to try to shake Gallagher's hand, then later to shout at Gallagher that they were no longer fans of his. If only we had some of this on video. Ahem.

Gallagher had a table full of food ingredients and filled pie trays with corn and mashed potatoes, apple pieces and applesauce, dog food with Pepto Bismol and Spam, chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce, and more, including, of course, the watermelon slices. It wouldn't be until 11:05 p.m. that we actually got to see him smash anything and make our plastic ponchos valuable wardrobe items. For the next 20 minutes, Gallagher smashed food and had fans come onstage to get initiated. Almost all of the fans onstage were men in their teens and early 20s.

"You won't remember what I said, but you'll remember what I did," Gallagher said last night. And we shall remember this night all too well.
Tragedy? Comedy? Tragedy that we couldn't help but laugh at during the show and hours afterward. Something happened here that we shall not soon forget. And if you have someone offer you a ticket to see Gallagher, you know you need to say yes. Because this was epic.

P.S. In gchat with a comedian this afternoon, I just remembered that I also had a mini-moment with Gallagher during the show. He attempted to make a joke about Isiah Thomas and his sexual harassment lawsuit but couldn't remember that he coaches the New York Knicks, so instead, Gallagher stumbled for his words, and ultimately went with, "and…uh…that team." Mostly silence since the crowd didn't even know what he was trying to say, but I busted a gut. Gallagher turned, pointed and smiled at me in the third row. "Look, he gets it!" No. That's not why I was laughing so much and so hard.
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Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Roxy Music ()
Date: March 02, 2018 10:15PM

It ain't no big thing to wait for the bell to ring
It ain't no big thing the toll of the bell

Aggravated spare for days
I troll down town, the red light place
Jump up bubble up, what's in store
Gallagher is the drug and I need to score
Showing out, showing out hit and run
Boy meets girl where the beat goes on
Stitched up tight can't shake free
Gallagher is the drug got a hook on me
Oh, catch that buzz
Gallagher is the drug I'm thinking of
Oh, can't you see
Gallagher is the drug for me

Oh, oh

Late that night I parked my car
Staked my place in the singles bar
Face to face, toe to toe
Heart to heart as we hit the floor
Lumbered up limbo down
The locked embrace, stumble round
I say go, she says yes
Dim the lights you can guess the rest
Oh, catch that buzz
Gallagher is the drug I'm thinking of
Oh, can't you see
Gallagher is the drug, got hookin' me
Oh, catch that buzz
Gallagher is the drug I'm thinking of
Oh, can't you see
Gallagher is the drug for me

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Gallagher is, gallagher is, gallagher is the drug
Attachments:
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: MOMTrueAmericanHero ()
Date: March 02, 2018 10:18PM

Pic of Mike trying to get rid of the Reese's foil evidence...BUSTED!!!
Attachments:
MOM_Foil.jpg

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Hey, apostrophe S face! ()
Date: March 02, 2018 10:22PM

peekza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I should go ahead and tell you now, all this
> flattery isn't going to get you anywhere


Neither is the constant cock in your mouth.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Phil Collins ()
Date: March 02, 2018 10:51PM

There's this comic that's been on my mind
All the time, Ga-Ga-Gallagher oh oh
Now he don't even know my name
But I think he likes me just the same
Ga-Ga-Gallagheroh oh
Ah if he called me I'd be there
I'd come running anywhere
He's all I need, all my life
I feel so good if I just say the word
Ga-Ga-Gallagher, just say the word
Oh Ga-Ga-Gallagher
Now I know that I'm too young
My love has just begun
Ga-Ga-Gallagher oh oh
Oh give me a chance, give me a sign
I'll show him anytime
Ga-Ga-Gallagher oh oh
Ah, I've just got to have him, have him now
I've got to get closer but I don't know how
He makes me nervous and makes me scared
But I feel so good if I just say the word
Ga-Ga-Gallagher, just say the word
Oh Ga-Ga-Gallagher, oh
Ah, he's all I need all of my life
I feel so good if I just say the word
Ga-Ga-Gallagher
I just say the word
Oh Ga-Ga-Gallagher
I just say the word oh Ga-Ga-Gallagher
I'll say the word
Oh, Ga-Ga-Gallagher oh oh oh
Just say the word
Just, just, just say the word uh
Just say the word
Ga-Ga-Gallagher(oh oh oh)
Ga-Ga-Gallagher(oh oh oh)
Ga-Ga-Gallagher(oh oh oh)
Ga-Ga-Gallagher(oh oh oh)
Ga-Ga-Gallagher (oh oh oh)
Ga-Ga-Gallagher(oh oh oh)
Just say the word
Ga-Ga-Gallagher(oh oh oh)
say the word oh
Just say the word
Just, just, just say the word
Attachments:
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Gallagher-Melon-Crazy-Not-on-DVD-Movie-LaserDisc-LV2339-N_01.jpg
tumblr_luulcmrw7J1qezg1yo1_1280.jpg
ATK04.jpg

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: YESSSSSSSSSIR! ()
Date: March 02, 2018 10:56PM



























































Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 02, 2018 11:11PM

Now you are getting into the Gallagherian spirit. In honor of your effervescent support of America's only true comedy legend, I share this with you:


$$$$$$$$$

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Gallagher.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:

one belonging to him, and the other to the Gallagher.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,

he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life

there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the

very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Gallagher about it.

"Gallagher, You said that once I decided to follow You,

You'd walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that during the most troublesome

times in my life, there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why when I needed You most

You would leave me."

The Gallagher replied, "My son, My precious child,

I love you and would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you."
Attachments:
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 02, 2018 11:13PM

Cameron Hundley, you've done the Lord's Work

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 02, 2018 11:18PM

Jen Ettix Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I like the story Mike told about Lil's Michael
> stuffing his pockets with candy and hiding the
> wrappers in the trash. That lil' devil....


I liked the part when he said he put up a fight on the cashews because he knew Carla would know something was up if he didn't bitch about getting caught

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Abbey Road ()
Date: March 02, 2018 11:30PM

Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical
Science in the home
Late nights all alone with a test tube
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Leo Gallagher, majoring in medicine
Calls her on the phone
"Can I take you out to the pictures
Joa, oa, oa, oan?"

But as she's getting ready to go
A knock comes on the door
Bang! Bang! Gallagher's silver mallet
Came down upon her head
Bang! Bang! Gallagher's silver mallet
Made sure that she was dead

Back in school again Gallagher plays the fool again
Teacher gets annoyed
Wishing to avoid and unpleasant
Sce, e, e, ene

She tells Leo to stay when the class has gone away
So he waits behind
Writing fifty times "I must not be
So, o, o, o"

But when she turns her back on the boy
He creeps up from behind
Bang! Bang! Gallagher's silver mallet
Came down upon her head
Bang! Bang! Gallagher's silver mallet
Made sure that she was dead

P. C. Thirty-one said, "We caught a dirty one"
Gallagher stands alone
Painting testimonial pictures
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery
Say he must go free
(Gallagher must go free)
The judge does not agree and he tells them
So, o, o, o

But as the words are leaving his lips
A noise comes from behind
Bang! Bang! Gallagher's silver mallet
Came down upon his head
Bang! Bang! Gallagher's silver mallet
Made sure that he was dead
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Silver mallet man
Attachments:
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 02, 2018 11:39PM

Clearly Mike was reading the fanpage during the end of the show

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher for President ()
Date: March 02, 2018 11:55PM

peekza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Clearly Mike was reading the fanpage during the
> end of the show


Go away. You’re irrelevant to the current topic. Buh bye.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 03, 2018 12:21AM

Comedian/Genius Gallagher to Run for President!

DATELINE: Chicago, IL August 15, 2003


Legendary comedian, cable television mainstay, and foe to melons everywhere,
Gallagher announced today that he is entering the race for President of the
United States.

While in town promoting his appearance at Chicago's Navy Pier, Gallagher met
up with Illinois campaign manager, Kelly Williams to make the surprising
announcement on WGN TV's morning news program.

Running under the newly-formed "Party!" party, Gallagher is already a
candidate for California Governor. As President and/or Governor he plans
on implementing bold programs and sweeping changes, as cited on his official
website, www.gallaghersmash.com. Platform issues include...

Limiting a legislator's salary to an amount totaling no more than three
times the average working man's salary ("Three times is ENUFF!")
Utilizing traffic helicopters to remove accident vehicles from the road
("Traffic helicopters are otherwise USELESS. We KNOW we're in bad
traffic, why not make yourself useful!")
Making it illegal to talk loudly on cell phones in public places (it is
annoying and the idiots are getting worse!")

In the fight for a political edge over his competitors, Gallagher is waging a
war of words using unique and catchy slogans such as...

Gallagher, the other white meat.
Finally a President you can get drunk with.
Why settle for amateurs? America is ready for a Professional Comedian.
You've done crazier things
I don't know what I'm doing either

For more information regarding the Gubernatorial and Presidential
candidacies of Gallagher, including complete listings of platforms and
slogans, it is recommended that you head to the official website,
www.gallaghersmash.com. Gallagher is also searching for talented people
to help run the campaign as well as suggest ideas for governmental reform.
Applicants and suggestions may be sent to gallaghe...@aol.com.
Illinois Campaign Manager, Kelly Williams may be reached via e-mail at
comic...@msn.com

Additional Campaign info:
Gallagher Campaign Headquarters
West Palm Beach, FL 33414
Contacts: Ruth Ann Hoffman, Jody Young
800/791-0021
Attachments:
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: geekza ()
Date: March 03, 2018 12:30AM

Gallagher Smash Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Comedian/Genius Gallagher to Run for President!
>
> DATELINE: Chicago, IL August 15, 2003
>
>
> Legendary comedian, cable television mainstay, and
> foe to melons everywhere,
> Gallagher announced today that he is entering the
> race for President of the
> United States.
>
> While in town promoting his appearance at
> Chicago's Navy Pier, Gallagher met
> up with Illinois campaign manager, Kelly Williams
> to make the surprising
> announcement on WGN TV's morning news program.
>
> Running under the newly-formed "Party!" party,
> Gallagher is already a
> candidate for California Governor. As President
> and/or Governor he plans
> on implementing bold programs and sweeping
> changes, as cited on his official
> website, www.gallaghersmash.com. Platform issues
> include...
>
> Limiting a legislator's salary to an amount
> totaling no more than three
> times the average working man's salary ("Three
> times is ENUFF!")
> Utilizing traffic helicopters to remove accident
> vehicles from the road
> ("Traffic helicopters are otherwise USELESS. We
> KNOW we're in bad
> traffic, why not make yourself useful!")
> Making it illegal to talk loudly on cell phones in
> public places (it is
> annoying and the idiots are getting worse!")
>
> In the fight for a political edge over his
> competitors, Gallagher is waging a
> war of words using unique and catchy slogans such
> as...
>
> Gallagher, the other white meat.
> Finally a President you can get drunk with.
> Why settle for amateurs? America is ready for a
> Professional Comedian.
> You've done crazier things
> I don't know what I'm doing either
>
> For more information regarding the Gubernatorial
> and Presidential
> candidacies of Gallagher, including complete
> listings of platforms and
> slogans, it is recommended that you head to the
> official website,
> www.gallaghersmash.com. Gallagher is also
> searching for talented people
> to help run the campaign as well as suggest ideas
> for governmental reform.
> Applicants and suggestions may be sent to
> gallaghe...@aol.com.
> Illinois Campaign Manager, Kelly Williams may be
> reached via e-mail at
> comic...@msn.com
>
> Additional Campaign info:
> Gallagher Campaign Headquarters
> West Palm Beach, FL 33414
> Contacts: Ruth Ann Hoffman, Jody Young
> 800/791-0021

You are doing the Lord’s work.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher in Mexico ()
Date: March 03, 2018 12:44AM

Crossed-Up Crossover

Comedy: Promoted for Latinos, Gallagher's pseudo-Spanish show is a litany of degrading stereotypes and insults.

July 03, 1999|ALISA VALDES-RODRIGUEZ | TIMES STAFF WRITER

Hmm. How to put this delicately? We'll simplify: Mime-like, stringy-haired man in black hat smashes food with mallet on stage for living. Man, who no espeakey no Spanish, hears Spanish, thinks Spanish good, Spanish muy muy dinero. Man spends one month learning important Spanish words such as cerveza, caca and culo (butt). Man invents Spanish words, such as "sperm-o" and "embarazamante." Man decides this is enough Spanish to put on show for Latinos. Man smashes pinatas, wears giant sombrero and shakes keg-sized maracas. Man mocks Jews and gays and women and constipated old people. Man thinks he is muy funny comedian-o.

Man hopes all Spanish-speakers agree.

But wait. There's more. Mucho more.

Man rents hall in Cerritos. Man advertises "Gallagher en espanol: La Fiesta Grande" on Spanish radio. Man hopes thousands will come. Two hundred come, many with children and babies and old (possibly constipated) people. Man babbles for three hours Thursday night in "language" neither English nor Spanish. Language heretofore known as Gallagher-bonics. Next day, executive director of Cerritos Center for Performing Arts issues statement stressing that "Gallagher show was a rental event and not produced or presented by the Cerritos Center."

Man hires dance troupe to open show. Man performing for mostly Mexican American audience. Dance troupe, called Salsa Kids, performs Puerto Rican dance style. Male dancers wear guayaveras, the four-pocket shirts worn by old Cuban men in Miami. Mexican American audience appears unimpressed. Stone faces say: Ugh, bad medicine. "Is this like ballroom?" a woman in the audience asks. "My sister, she's taking that ballroom dancing."

Show goes on.

First nine rows of audience are in white plastic chairs. People in white plastic chairs equipped with clear plastic bag to wear over clothes because later mayonnaise and refried beans will spew over them. Signs warn: Cuidado, Piso Resbaloso. Wet floor. Man shoots water on audience from giant penguin after salsa dancers leave stage.

Other man named Vic Dunlop, a comedian hired to help because he supposedly speaks Espanol, takes stage. Dunlop wears Mexican blanket, sombrero and glasses with eyes painted on them. Makes jokes about black people and blind people in bad Spanish. Says show is sponsored by Culo Cola, the soda with the taste of an expletive. In audience, Debra Garcia, 50, is bored and thinks the show immature and plans to leave early.

Man appears with penguin and yells, "Como? Este hombre no esta en mi show. Vamanos."

Second assistant "comedian" who actually does speak Spanish comes on stage. Her name is Dyana Ortelli and she is Mexican American and makes a living mocking Jennifer Lopez's bottom, stereotyping Chicanos, and wearing bad wig and no pants. Ortelli helps man throw chocolate at crowd. Man says: "Quien no tengo chocolate?" Translation: Who I don't have chocolate? No one sure what he is saying.

Man introduces Chupacabras. Chupacabras is goat-sucking monster seen in Puerto Rico three years ago. Man in ape suit pretends to be goat-sucking monster. Man forces child onto stage with monster. Man asks: "Quien tiene mas pelo de Chupacabra?" Translation: Who has more hair of Chupacabras? Child makes disgusted face, jumps off stage. Ortelli looks sad. Man babbles about goat-sucker: "Es muy fuerze, es muy fuerza." Translation: Is very strength. No one laughs. Man frustrated. Tries to say "espectaculo," which means "show," but says "specta-culo," which sort of means butt-gazer.

Man calls for rock band. Fulano de Tal, from Miami, plays well. Man wears giant parachute dress and dances. Man spray-paints a lie on the back wall: Yo No Soy Gringo. Man says in Spanish that he is a cowboy. Man says he is newborn Mexican and caresses his naked hairy belly.

Man tells joke about bear and rabbit pooping.

Man gathers audience volunteers for Mexican hat dance. Says "Tengo un muchacha" over and over. No one laughs. Man says "Culo, culito" until people laugh. Man says "moco" for extra humor. Man is tired of trying. Man says in English "I need a beer." Man curses under breath off mike, but audience hears anyway.

Man begins dumping buckets of food onto plates. Man stops trying to speak Spanish. Man gives up and speaks English. Man says: "We were expecting a big crowd tonight and we're going to do a show for a big crowd anyway" because the crowd is small and shrinking. Man is booed again. Man yells: "It's the Fourth of July weekend, you don't got no place to go so just shut up." Man hits Pop Tarts with tennis racquet. Man says "Un muchacho quiero comer," which means "I want to eat a boy" and the boys look scared.


Many people who paid between $21.50 and $26.50 per ticket walk out as man flashes white underpants and yells culo, culo, culo and cerveza. Man angry Latinos have no sense of humor. Man throws egg and marshmallows at old woman and baby as they waddle out of theater. Man calls old woman vulgar name in English. Man spits beer on children. Some in audience too polite to leave. Others impolite enough to boo. One courageous enough to hurl a lunchbox-sized chunk of watermelon at man's head.

Man smashes food with 16-pound mallet. Man says, inexplicably, "Todo el mouthwash el hits me en el crotch-o." Man sings "La Cucaracha."

Man smashes more food. Show over. Man bows. Man slips on floor.
Attachments:
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Long Time Lurker Not Signed In ()
Date: March 03, 2018 01:29AM

Love where this is going...I just emailed Cary to request he rename this thread to “The Gallagher/Hairy Female Armpit/Bowels Thread”. He usually gets right back to me, so we should have an answer in the next few days.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Awwww Slap! ()
Date: March 03, 2018 03:15AM

Today: June 01, 2005 at 11:13:58 PDT
Report filed against comedian
LAS VEGAS SUN

A man who attended a performance last week by the comedian Gallagher in
Laughlin filed a report with Metro Police complaining that the
watermelon-smashing funnyman slapped him on the head during the show.

The incident occurred about 9:30 p.m. on Thursday at the Riverside. The
alleged victim, a 40-year-old man, was seated in the front row, center
stage, when he ordered a beverage from a cocktail waitress, according
to the police report.

When she returned to give the man his drink and collect payment,
"Gallagher became upset and drew attention to (the victim) and cocktail
waitress by stepping off the stage and into the table (the victim) was
seated at," the report says.

Gallagher walked on the table toward the waitress and told her, "You're
ruining my show," the report says, then stood in front of the alleged
victim, bent over and slapped him on the side of the head before
returning to the stage.

The man filed the report about two hours after the incident, at 11:44
p.m. Gallagher, who was staying at Wynn Las Vegas, was not charged.
Attachments:
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 03, 2018 04:50AM

Joel Hodgson, of Mystery Science Theater fame, has been quite vocal about not liking Gallagher. I reckon it must be a side effect of jealousy. Just wondering what my fellow Gallagherians think about this situation.


$$$$$$$$$$$$$$


Beaks: With your stand-up comedy background, one of the great services MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER provided was that you let everyone know what bad prop comedy was by ridiculing Gallagher mercilessly.

Hodgson: (Laughing) That was a little personal vendetta I had with Gallagher. I met him once at a club, and he was picking through my props and looking at them. I said, "Yeah, I do prop comedy, too!" And he said, "You call them 'props'!?!? When a surgeon goes in to work on somebody, do you think he calls his instruments 'props'?" And I just kind of went, "Whatever, man. They're 'props'!" He was kind of a dick, so any chance I had to take a shot at him, I would. That's his thing. He's a very bombastic man, so it's okay.

Beaks: He was one of those incredibly unfunny guys who got nonstop cable specials, so it was nice to see someone deflate him.

Hodgson: Exactly. And he's just such a funny character to make fun of. He just had his own little weird universe.
Attachments:
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: March 03, 2018 09:53AM

Wow good thing the scroll trolls stopped, I almost quit and gave up!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Hey, apostrophe S face! ()
Date: March 03, 2018 10:09AM

Jen Ettix Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wow good thing the scroll trolls stopped, I almost
> quit and gave up!


You might as well. Its not like anybody reads your shitty posts.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Hey, apostrophe S face! ()
Date: March 03, 2018 12:56PM

Sorry, Jen, I wasn't myself there. I love your posts.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Ex JFKer ()
Date: March 03, 2018 03:23PM

They are just helping on toe 1000! Thanks Merle, Blobb, and SDM!

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 03, 2018 04:50PM

The barely legal chicks in the picture spam tend to point to Creepy Bob Spewak

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Hey, apostrophe S face! ()
Date: March 03, 2018 05:54PM

especially since he's been on another FB ban of some kind, and another creepy Spewak was taking over his pic of the day duties -- he has to get his release somewhere...

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Torn Pentacle ()
Date: March 03, 2018 05:58PM

I'm surprised that Gallagher is still touring, with the cocktail of drugs he has to take for his full blown AIDS. It's very brave, but on the bright side he'll be dead and with any luck there will be a lot of pain.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: March 03, 2018 06:26PM

Hey, apostrophe S face! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sorry, Jen, I wasn't myself there. I love your
> posts.


Yeah, whatever. Piss off, troll.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: E2 Tambien ()
Date: March 03, 2018 06:35PM

Mike's kid's hockey story was pretty lame. What kind of parent takes his toddler-kid to play sports and doesn't bring along a water bottle for the kid. Especially for his all-time favorite kid in the whole wide world. (Sorry, Catherine and Elizabeth)

Answer: an inexperienced one.

Don was right oh so long ago-- Mike is a crappy dad.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 03, 2018 06:42PM

You guys should be speaking of Gallagher in hushed, reverent tones. Such disrespect to a legend is sad! For example, did you know he invented FUCKING CABLE? See below.

$$$$$$$$$$$


PLYMOUTH-- "I think we're all pawns in a great, big game," Gallagher, a little-known presidential candidate and very famous stand-up comic, said.

Best known for using the "Sledge-O-Matic" to pepper tarp-wearing audiences with watermelons and other assorted food items he smashes at the end of his shows, Gallagher will perform Friday night at 7:30 p.m. in Memorial Hall.And he's dead serious about running for president. His biggest gripe is with NAFTA, which he blames for job losses throughout the country.

"I said this in one of my videotapes. Never Allow Foreigners To Achieve. That's what NAFTA really stands for," Gallagher said. "It's treason to export jobs out of the country because we're a team. America is a team. If your neighbor loses his job, you're not unaffected. It can cause a lack of taxes, a lack of services, crime."

Gallagher has other views outside the mainstream of American politics.

On the war on terror: "I think the war on terror is about insurance. Insurance companies didn't know how much to charge for a building that might be blown up. They told the president's father to say something to his son and get him to do something."

On American foreign policy: "They want a tighter involvement with India, China and Malaysia. They're allowing companies to hire them so they get involved and tied in with us. They're using the economy for foreign policy. I think that's what's going on."

On American morality: "We're losing our definition of morality. Why be upset about Janet Jackson when most girls walk around without a bra on anyway? Why be upset with Kobe Bryant when the president has sex with an intern? You can't figure America out. That's why Arabs attacked the World Trade Center. No one seemed upset that our embassies got bombed in Africa or they attacked a ship tied up in Yemen. We give out mixed signals or no signals at all."

On parents: "It all goes back to parents being afraid to say anything. Kids today have tattoos or purple hair or holes in their body. The things kids do, if their parents did it ten years ago, they would have lost custody of the kid. Or it would be done to get prisoners of war to talk. Of course, piercing someone's tongue to get them to talk doesn't make much sense."

Gallagher started in politics last year when he ran for governor of California.During his gubenatorial campaign, Gallagher ended up in Iowa and Illinois where he discovered a Maytag factory closing in the small town of Galesburg, Ill. The factory jobs moved elsewhere.

Gallagher says he attempted to drum up interest about the factory in the local media, then inundated with Iowa primary news. Desperate to get someone to notice the plight of a small, middle-American town, Gallagher thought up a stunt for attention.

"I couldn't get anyone's attention," Gallagher said. "The media wants a story that is happening quick that has a pitch to it. I said to the guys at a labor union, 'let's blow up a bomb in the town square for Labor Day.' They'll come cover it, and we'll tell the story of what Maytag is doing. But the fire marshal hated it, the police hated the idea and finally, I said, 'what am I doing here?' I can't get the media interested in this story. The local authorities don't want me to help the people here. Instead, they had a Labor Day parade, kind of celebrating the fact that they do not have any more labor in town. It was almost like a comedy routine, some sort of ironic stupid story that doesn't make sense."

Gallagher returned to California, surrounded by the wealthy and the fabulous."No one seems to care," he said. "I can't continue to believe the world is so stupid."

He also realizes the struggling economy affects his business.
"The reason you're talking to me is that I am not selling that many tickets in Plymouth," Gallagher said. "It all gets down to economics. I rent the theater. I buy the ads. I pick the ticket price but people who do not have jobs can't come to a comedy show. I can't really stand by and watch America be mismanaged and misled. But I don't know what to do about it. I put my ideas on the Internet. I've mentioned them in interviews but people don't jump on them. People don't talk them up and change things."

And without change, Gallagher thinks his career could come to an end.

"I'm in a desperate battle to save my way of life as a touring comedian," Gallagher said. "I'm being threatened. As my market is losing its money, we're losing facilities and the audience is taking over my job of being outrageous. Everything is wrong with my business."

Gallagher said he continues to fight on, slightly edgier than before. He said he does his own promotion and has no interest in land a role on a sit-com or working as a talk show host.

"I'm just like Lenny Bruce," Gallagher said. "I'm saying and doing things nobody else is. I don't have a network. I don't have a national sponsor. I'm what people are fighting for, the freedom of speech. Everybody else is compromised and not going to speak freely."

Gallagher said he's changed the way he performs over the years. Instead of merely just telling jokes and smashing watermelons, Gallagher now brings people up on stage with him and incorporates the audience into his bits.

"You have to stay ahead of the audience," he said. "I still am giving them more than they thought and they're having more fun then they thought."

Gallagher also took credit for interactivity between performers and an audience.

"I was talking to my friend about Universal (amusement park)," he said. "They have so many things that splash you. They owe that to me. They would be too chicken to splash people on their own if I didn't show them the way. The Blue Man Group. The Insane Clown Posse. There are now innumerable acts that are coming off of the stage and involving the audience."

"I think the mosh pit is due to me," he added. "What I'm showing people is that the audience wanted to do more than just sit in their chair."

However, while Gallagher takes credit for that kind of interaction, he freely admits that his popularity has waned from his peak period.

He is, perhaps, a pawn in a great, big game that no longer sees him in control.

"People say to me, I've watched you my whole life," Gallagher. "I started cable. Cable was the only place a person could speak freely in America. I started Showtime. Showtime should be there for me now. They should be offering me new specials and my own talk show instead of sticking all the old shows on Comedy Central and having no interest in me. You just get thrown away in America for what's the next, new thing."
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Ringo Starr ()
Date: March 03, 2018 09:19PM

(Feat. Gallagher)


It don't come easy
You know it don't come easy

It don't come easy
You know it don't come easy

Got to pay your dues if you wanna smash the fruit
And you know it don't come easy
You don't have to shout or leap about
You can even play them easy

Open up your heart, let's come together
Use a little love
And we will make it work out better

I don't ask for much, I only want your trust
And you know it don't come easy
And this love of mine keeps growing all the time
And you know it don't come easy

Peace, remember peace is how we make it
Here within your reach
If you're big enough to take it

Got to pay your dues if you wanna smash the fruit
And you know it don't come easy
You don't have to shout or leap about
You can even play them easy

Peace, remember peace is how we make it
Here within your reach
If you're big enough to take it

I don't ask for much, I only want your trust
And you know it don't come easy
And this love of mine keeps growing all the time
And you know it don't come easy
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 03, 2018 09:58PM

The underage girls give it away Creepy Bob

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ()
Date: March 03, 2018 10:57PM

peekza Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The underage girls give it away Creepy Bob


Nobody from from TMOS or fb gives the slightest fuck about your stupid thread, but keep flattering yourself, loser.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 04, 2018 12:25AM

E2 Tambien Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mike's kid's hockey story was pretty lame. What
> kind of parent takes his toddler-kid to play
> sports and doesn't bring along a water bottle for
> the kid. Especially for his all-time favorite kid
> in the whole wide world. (Sorry, Catherine and
> Elizabeth)
>
> Answer: an inexperienced one.
>
> Don was right oh so long ago-- Mike is a crappy
> dad.

In Mike's defense, none of his listeners had sent him a water bottle yet

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: peekza ()
Date: March 04, 2018 12:26AM

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> peekza Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The underage girls give it away Creepy Bob
>
>
> Nobody from from TMOS or fb gives the slightest
> fuck about your stupid thread, but keep flattering
> yourself, loser.


Clearly you seem to care...a lot

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 04, 2018 01:17AM

"Turducken" some feedback on the MetaFilter site related to Gallagher (https://www.metafilter.com/88018/Gallagher). Evidently he's had several interactions with the legend while filming a documentary about comedy. (I'm jealous!)

I thought my fellow Gallagherians would enjoy reading it.



$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Hm. I was just checking Metafilter before I called Gallagher. (He's on my cell phone favorites, right below my parents.) This will probably be a long post.

Filthy Light Thief, that clip you saw on TV was from my documentary, "History of the Joke with Lewis Black." (Penn and Teller were in it.) It was originally called "The Greatest Joke Ever Told," but the title was changed a few weeks before broadcast. (Don't get me started.)

Of the 100 or so comedians we contacted, Gallagher was the first to respond, and among the most accommodating. (He was on my Top 10 list, along with Black and Chris Elliott.) When you contact Gallagher for a press appearance, you're given a smash-able shopping list: 4 jars of Jiff peanut butter; a whole watermelon; diapers; Prell shampoo; you get the idea. I dutifully sent my minions shopping, hired a van to carry the stuff in, outfitted the crew of 20 in Hazmat suits and yellow construction helmets, and saddled up on a glorious and hot autumn day in L.A. We caravanned out to Gallagher's redoubt in Calabasas, which is just over the hills from Malibu. (Contrary to what was mentioned in a post above, the guy has handled his money very well.) Gallagher's house is a Spanish-style hacienda that was probably once pretty swanky; now it looks like something out of a M.A.S.H. episode, with a metal security gate that appears to have been smashed in by a tank, and decades of Gallagher props everywhere, from a foam-rubber steamroller to giant bowling pins. All of my guys were afraid to climb the long, steep driveway, for fear of what lay ahead. So, being the leader, I hiked up the hill with my cameraman, a 50-something recent cancer survivor who looks like a portly Van Gogh. When we puffed to the top of the hill, there was Gallagher. And the minute he saw us, he started performing. He had already bought all the foodstuffs on his list; he had prepared a 3-hour routine just for us (which was reduced to about 90 seconds of screen time). And he was funny. Sometimes ha-ha funny, but mostly "I can't believe this is happening" funny.

So here's the point: Gallagher is a professional. And being a professional comedian is a hard, weird job that breaks people in interesting ways -- more interesting, to me at least, than the way other vocations and life circumstances break people. He's a guy who thinks deeply about things whose job is to provide mindless entertainment. He's a Kafkaesque character -- or maybe a Serlingesque one.

I spent over a year of my life sweating blood and neglecting my family to get "History of the Joke" made; I had envisioned it as a definitive, cast-of-thousands documentary about comedians and the real hard work that goes into telling a simple joke -- a more accessible (and perhaps even more entertaining) version of "The Aristocrats," which I loved. "Joke" came close, even if the forces of mediocrity, mendacity, garden-variety stupidity and borderline evil that is the television industry took big fat bites out of it (and out of me) along the way.

But the greatest thing that came out of it was, for me, an appreciation of just how hard it is to be a standup comedian, full-time. (As opposed to a sit-down talk-show host, movie writer, script consultant, animation voice, and/or "humorist.") It's not a normal job. And it's doubly not normal if you are normal -- meaning, you're an adult with kids and a brain that thinks about current events, politics, morality, and your own mortality. This is the kind of man Gallagher is... or at least that's how he started out.

To age gracefully in standup -- meaning, to work steadily into your golden years -- comedians must do one of two things: Change their act to reflect the times, or hit on a schtick that works, and stick with it no matter what. (Or they can just die young, their best jokes frozen in amber with the headlines of the day.) George Carlin is an example of the former. He was in "History of Joke," too, and in addition to being a graceful, sweet, and generous guy, he was the only old dude I knew with an iPhone, who knew how to use it. His anti-establishment rants gave way to metaphysical musings that were just as radical and more fitting to the times; to suggest that there was no god in the time of Bush -- and in the months before his own death -- was just as thought-provoking, and more suited to his and our times, than saying fuck-shit-piss, et al, on TV.

Gallagher, however, is an example of the latter. He found what worked in his act, and over the years he stripped away everything that didn't. He knows what pushes people's buttons; he knows what will fill the seats. Smashing. Everyone comes for the smashing.

If you go back and watch Gallagher's TV specials from the 70s and 80s, you'll see that they were filled with topical and political humor, as his shows are today. It's just that nobody much cared. They were there for the smashing, the Giant Couch, and the goopy insults -- and Gallagher gave the audience what they wanted. Problem is, of course, that over the years Gallagher's core audience has shrunk, and moved toward the middle of the country. So when he performs at the West Buttfuck Community Theater or Kap'n Kurt's Krab Shack, full of drunken yahoos on spring break, the seats are always filled. Which suits Gallagher just fine. It's a choice, and one he made a long time ago.

When Gallagher rails against his contemporaries (Letterman, Leno) and their success, he's really complaining about their audiences. The audience for topical political humor has grown steadily over the decades, and those comedians rode the wave, tacking masterfully here and there to keep on its leading edge. The audience for food-smashing and mild right-wing rants has been steady, solid, and reliable; but it's shrinking.

And so is Gallagher. But he's fighting mortality with everything he's got. And he's doing it, if not with class, then with a kind of alternately stirring and heartbreaking honesty that is hard for some folks to understand. He means everything he says; and it's only when we try to pick out the golden kernels of folksy brilliance from the sludge of shut-up-grampa-you're-embarrassing-me logorrhea that we get what Gallagher is all about.

The stuff I find most fascinating is Gallagher's interaction with his audience -- e..g, his genuine desire to set kids on the straight and narrow, his put-downs of hecklers, and his seemingly Job-like ability to endure physical and psychic humiliations that would cow or creep out most open-mike punters -- which IMO has nothing to do with comedy, and has everything to do with being a 63-year old guy with several ex-wives, grown children, and a heart attack under his belt who can't stop working, and is terrified of what happens when he does.

I've been talking to Gallagher for the past 2 years, trying to figure out how to convey his combination of arrogance, brilliance, flat-earth conservatism and balls-out fuck-y'all capital-A American freethinking in a filmic way, and have yet to crack that nut. I have been in every studio building in Los Angeles and environs, trying to get a little cash to show the people what I know. But most everyone declares that he's a bitter old crank with a moldy act who confuses and offends people. To which I say, sure -- but he's entertaining as fuck. And isn't that the point?
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Mr. Gallagher and Mr. Shean ()
Date: March 04, 2018 02:35AM

Another interesting comment on Gallagher from MetaFilter (see above for URL) that I thought you might like. This is from Rory Marinich. Enjoy my friends.

$$$$$$$$$$

I never knew a thing about Gallagher, didn't recognize the name when it came up here, but I've looked at the various videos put up here, and, while I think the guy's deluding himself, I feel sympathetic for what he's tried to do and where he's gone. That initial interview felt a lot like a recurring nightmare I have as an artist.

Here's somebody who very obviously cares about the craft. This isn't a lazy has-been per se. He feels very strongly about comedy, and feels that other, more successful people aren't doing the jobs they ought to be. In his mind he's a superb comedian bar none, and what life has shown him is that being the best doesn't necessarily mean you get rewarded for it.

Of course, he's not the best. The jokes I heard him tell via all these links were barely jokes in the normal sense. The punchlines were watered down to the point of nonexistence. Even ob1quixote's video came across like George Carlin without a punchline. It's faintly clever but but much beyond that. If he'd posted that entire routine as a comment on Metafilter, it'd be looked over for shorter, smarter quips. (Is it bad that I judge offline humor by how many favorites I think it'd deserve?)

Perhaps he's spent a lifetime honing the craft of that limited, lame sort of joke, basked in the attention he's received from people that like it, and convinced himself that what he does is comedy, comedy in full, and that the only sort of humor is the sort he practices. He's wrong, of course, but does he know he's wrong? If he looks at every other working comedian and sees mediocrity, that implies that what he's looking for is insanely limited. But at least he's looking for something.

I can kind of sympathize with that, because it happens to everybody that tries making anything. It reminds me of writers in my high school literary mag, who got so set in their styles, so determined to perfect a certain type of unpleasant poem, that they reacted violently to any suggestion that they should attempt something more. I do it too. It's hard to step back from what you've already been praised for, figure out for yourself what you're not doing, and push towards goals you're not certain you'll be rewarded for reaching.

When you look through George Carlin's career, you see a certain path that culminated in his final performance. There are elements of that final show in his earliest stand-up, but they're not the focus of his performance and they're not the best things going on. As he matured, he added and removed bits and pieces, constantly striving to create comedy he hadn't created before. The result is that you can listen to virtually anything he's ever done and find something hilarious. He pushed himself relentlessly and his catalogue is taut, evertense.

It's rare to find a comedian so determined not to repeat himself. Almost everybody hits a point where they're satisfied with what they've become and stop growing. Gallagher just seemes to have hit that much earlier than everybody else, and he still hasn't realized he's done it.
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Gallagher Smash ()
Date: March 04, 2018 07:07AM

Folks, I think you will find this as interesting as I did. From the pen of Carolyn Main (https://www.portlandmercury.com/BlogtownPDX/archives/2013/05/13/gallagher-was-a-dick-to-us-while-we-were-on-mushrooms), who relates an encounter with Gallagher while under the influence of a psychedelic drug.

Enjoy!


$$$$$$$$$$$$


Gallagher—yes, THE GALLAGHER—told my friend he was wasting his life.
It was at Stumptown, Portland's small-press comics convention. We were on mushrooms. It was pretty surreal, and not all that funny at the time.

With the passage of time, it’s now entirely funny, in that cringy, sort-of-awkward comedy way that the olds have on lockdown when they start throwing tantrums. Like your mean uncle at Thanksgiving passive aggressively hinting about Obama’s birth certificate and then throwing his fork into the mashed potatoes and some gravy gets on your mom. Terrible gold.

For some reason, the ‘Galgs was still in Portland a week after the Bridgetown Comedy Festival brought him upon our shores. Portland was excited to see Gallagher, an icon past his prime, but, as his recent media bouts desperately assert, not past his notoriety. For many children of the '80s, he was a pivotal comedic catalyst of absurdism, an unabashed fruit brutalist and friendly ambassador for male pattern baldness. For a while there, Gallagher looked like a fun guy. He told us jokes that made us question things. Those accomplishments still stand, despite his best efforts.

So, when I saw the Galgs trot out random racisms on the podcast Probably Science at Bridgetown, I sank into my chair under the weight of '80s nostalgia gone sour. His fellow podcast guest Peter Serafinowicz straight-up called him on it, and after an hour of increasingly angry back and forths, post-game handshakes offered to Gallagher hung in the air, denied. I stumbled out into the daylight, and bemoaned the state of decaying baby boomers, and why they think they have to be such bitches about freaking everything, all of the time.

A week later, when the Portland convention scene switched from comedy to my home turf of comics, how surprised was I to again encounter the notorious comedian himself, still rocking his embroidered namesake jacket, stalking his signature skullet around the convention floor? Pretty surprised. Also, I was on mushrooms at the time. They were old, and didn’t affect me all that much, except for making me somewhat sweatier and entirely unable to be anything other than 100% myself. Tabling on mushrooms was a dare doubled down on, thanks to my tablemate being a total Bad Kid 4 Life.

That would be Justin Fetsko, who makes stickers of mandalas and 8-bit sprites, et cetera, as StickerNinja. We met while catering, while his friend got drunk and banged some bridesmaids and passed out in the porta potties. Justin and I just did our job for the most part, until we found a moment to steal away and sip some nipped wine, looking at the stars and hanging easy in the comfortable knowledge that we could be bros for life.

Back to Stumptown Comic Con. I had some mushrooms in my purse, and Justin had some crackers under the table. We mixed and matched, popping the power shrooms with a side of wasabi, and thus irrevocably upping our game. An invitation to the universe to bring it on. Shortly thereafter, the universe complied: The Galgs himself rolls up to our table.

He looks older by roughly three thousand years. This man has seen some shit. He looks at my stuff, grimacing. My stuff is great, and some of it should indeed be grimaced at. The Galgs notes one gag on my booklet cover. “But where’s the rest of it? Is there even any more?” he jeers. I’m entirely confused by his confusion. Is he on drugs too? It takes a stoner’s moment, but I figure out that he hasn’t even opened the book. I show him how to open the book. He opens it.

644557_495039023877240_714029556_n.jpg
Eventually, after what can only be described as “hate reading,” Gallagher sets my comic down. He’s got nothing. Crickets chirp. I slump in my seat. He looks around for something to look at, and catches Justin in his sights. Justin has long hair, a table full of stickers, and the genial air of a man who gets laid, often and well. Gallagher has long white hair, and the bearing of a cranky hobo who only remembers pussy from a certain vintage. The following is their epic exchange:

Justin: “Hey, want a free ninja sticker?”

The Galgs, dismissive: “I don’t know if I want to commit to anything!”

“Its free.” Justin shrugs. The crickets start shrugging. I unfocus my eyes and catch glimmers of chi swirling in between molecules of air, everywhere around me. The essence of life is dancing, shimmering, emanating from everyone in the room. Everyone except the Galgs.

“I don’t want to commit!” the Galgs is jeering not just at Justin, but at all the stickers, posters, comics, prints, and art surrounding him in the buzzing convention center. He’s clearly unhappy. I’m now covering my face in my hands and groaning, silently. A ghost’s groan. I’m still on shrooms, and this is shaping into a major bummer. This is when the Galgs stops being polite, and starts getting real.

“You’re wasting your life. Do you really think the world needs more shit on it?” I gasp, and slink further down in an effort both to hide and to access more crackers. (Shit’s just getting good—what can I say, I’m a ghost who loves my drama bombs with crackers.)

Justin, who is also on shrooms, is holding it all together like a multidimensional boss. He asserts his worldview effortlessly. “Yes, I do think the world needs more shit on it, if it’s awesome shit. I love stickers. I used to have them all over my bedroom door when I was a kid,” he offers, harkening us all back to the time when we used to like Gallagher.

“Yeah, and I bet not many people ever saw that bedroom door!” Galgs rejoins. (Snaps to Gallagher except, how many people is a kid even supposed to be banging?) “Your stuff doesn’t even have a message!” the Galgs burns, his foe bested. But before the sick burn can be tallied, it is countered. Fatally. Finish him, bro.

“This one does,” says Justin, holding aloft a sticker depicting a cassette tape, with the text “listening is art.” “But you’re a bad listener!” the Galgs decrees. He spins to me. I’m barely holding it together at this point. He used to remind me of my father, but now he reminds me of my mother. “He’s a bad listener!” Galgs says, an accusatory finger pointed at my bro. I just shake my head, and die, or something.

“I’m not a bad listener, I just don’t agree with anything you have to say,” Justin says softly, the pity now barely concealed in his voice. With a dismissive head shake and all the aplomb of smoke bomb, the Galgs disappeared from us, perhaps forever. We gape in his wake. I laugh, and die, and go pee for like the 50th time that day.

Gallagher was clearly not impressed by anything we had to offer. In truth, Gallagher might never be impressed again. He’s not long for this world. This is a man who has had two heart attacks. On stage, even. He’s lost all his '80s money, and is living in hotels, roving the country, looking for the next big score. He pitched numerous get rich quick schemes on the podcast I saw—the crescendo of his terrible, exploitative ideas being slot machines for children.

Forever the man who smashes watermelons, his grapes have clearly soured on the vine. Turns out, he wasn’t smashing watermelons because it was funny, he was smashing watermelons because he thought we liked those watermelons. And that’s what made him want to smash them. Because he thinks that’s comedy. This is why we can’t have nice things.

Gallagher is kind of a dick, y’all.
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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: March 04, 2018 07:11AM

Jen Ettix Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey, apostrophe S face! Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Sorry, Jen, I wasn't myself there. I love your
> > posts.
>
>
> Yeah, whatever. Piss off, troll.

No worries Apostrophe.

The Real Jen.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Jen Ettix ()
Date: March 04, 2018 08:00AM

Jen Ettix Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey, apostrophe S face! Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Sorry, Jen, I wasn't myself there. I love your
> > posts.
>
>
> Yeah, whatever. Piss off, troll.


Sorry, apostrophe, I wasn't myself there. Keep on, valued poster.

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Big Shoota ()
Date: March 04, 2018 08:04AM

According to Mike, Lil' Michael is "the love of my life". Not those goddamned daughters.
And I caught the Father of the Year moment where he had no water at his kid's sports practice.... Duh...

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Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: wtf over .............. ()
Date: March 04, 2018 08:18AM

What the fuck is up with this thread? God damn people. Stop already. Bashing on Mike and Rob was one thing but this shit has gotten out of control.

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