because everyone I know or have ever met is far more successful, happy, well-adjusted and intelligent than I am.
I hope everyone I've ever met in my entire life drops dead. Then I'll piss on all their graves. I'll actually take the time to go online, buy airfare, hotel or lodging accommodations, go to the airport, make the flight, find transportation once we've landed, consult Google Maps, and find other transportation to locate where they are all buried, and then I will whip my man out and piss on all their graves, one by one, buying airfare, flying, going through security, hailing a taxi, getting a Cinnabon on my way out of the airport, a slice of pizza from Uno's on my into the terminal, etc., I will do all of that, repeatedly, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, until I have successfully pissed, shit, and maybe even exhumed a few of the female bodies of the people I have known, skull-fucked them, cum in them, then taken another shit on their stinking decomposing cunt of corpse, over and over again, until I have defiled and violated every resting place or dead body of every human being I have known in my life. I swear to god.
If I had the time and the money, and enough shits and pisses in me, and cum, I would actually, realistically do this. Assuming they all dropped dead at once and were promptly buried.
This is what I believe...and I'm not even kidding.