You stupid brainless cocksuckers! Hehe, I don't think anyone likes being labeled as a troll. The name, itself, suggests a small ugly little creature who lives under a bridge and is known for it's grouchy attitude. However online the name has an entirely different definition which is someone who verbally attacks another poster or thread. Throughout my entire internet life I have been called a troll. I am a no non sense type of person with very little patience when it comes to stupid threads and clueless people. At first, I didn't take to well to being labeled as a troll. I thought to myself about how different trolls were and asked myself if I truly fit that description. I received some mentoring from one of the most well known trolls on the internet, Roy Stanton. Roy messaged me one day and told me about how he was attracted to the trolling world when he first received a dial-up internet connection. He introduced me to the lifestyle and even told me a little bit about the sub culture, the rules, and the norms of the troll society. He further explained how trolls were subjected to online humiliation through bans and account suspensions. I remember him saying "trolls are nothing more than the comedians of the internet world. We are also the enforcers of stupidity. Ensuring that the online community is protected from clueless posters and threads." Listening to Roy's advice, I left the Men's Wearhouse forum in search of bigger communities. Ones with off topic categories, uncensored posts, and easier account creations. I found my first thread on the K Mart website entitled "do I need a receipt?" A woman asked if she needed a receipt to make a return purchase and needed advice on bringing the item back. I replied with "you stupid whacked bitch of course you need a fucking receipt how retarded are you?" I cannot describe the sense of euphoria experienced when pressing that enter button and submitting your response. No less than 20 minutes later replies starting coming in "troll!" "nerd get a life," "gtfo troll" were just a few of the responses. I even received a private message from the forum moderator and the lady's husband. The forum moderator told me to stop or I would be banned. The husband was a little more stern in his response "fuck you if you ever talk that way to my wife again I will expel you like a stale fart!" ***To Be Continued***

Trolltar Wrote:
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> ***To Be Continued***

Please, don't bother.

preservin' the lolz for posterity...

---------------------------------------------------------------------
I apologize to those I unfairly hurt. To Harry Tuttle in particular.
Attachments:

this story sucks. no one trolls clothing sites. no wonder u were called a troll.

fail troll is fail Wrote:
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> this story sucks. no one trolls clothing sites. no
> wonder u were called a troll.

God damn it you shitface motherfucker how the hell you doing brother?!

better than you

***Continued*** Naturally, my instincts told me to reply with "hey fuck off you blue bearded fagot penis sprinkler and go back to licking road kill asshole!" Instead I didn't let it bother me. Thinking back to what Roy told me, I didn't want to get involved in the dreaded flame war. Time consuming for both parties, painful to all. The flame war is the true test to even the most experienced trolls like Roy. Threads upon threads of meaningless insults with the occasional picture posted leaving only one standing. Looking at the angry husband's message one last time, I grinned realizing that I accomplished my mission. The novelty of trolling clothing forums started to wear off. I knew I had to take my trolling to the next level. I will never forget the day I registered for Youtube and Newgrounds. Finally, I was in the big leagues trolling with the big dogs. Youtube requires a troll to condense their responses. Squeeze them into 250 characters and effectively get their point across. Now Newgrounds was a different story. Roy told me they would either make you or break you. Trolls will find a weakness and won't show any mercy. I set my sights on a user named rusty_trombonez. The name itself was worthy of a digital beat down. I stalked my prey and waited for the right moment, finally my time came. Rusty_trombonez replied to a post about hooking up with a girl from Dollar General. Without any hesitation I quickly responded "haha you fag you got an std now you worthless pile of zebra shit! Go back to sucking a homeless dick you GED dropout!" Immediately I had a private message waiting in my inbox "fuck off noob u think ur l33t or what?" Instead of responding to his message I posted everything in the public forum and even photoshopped his avatar into a gay porn picture and named it "rusty_trombonez and his Dad after seeing his report card." Eventually I earned respect from the veteran posters on the site. I was part of the ice cream gang, one of the most feared cyber troll gangs on the web. We saw a shitty video on Youtube, didn't matter if you were 12 years old you were getting flamed. If a user posted a duplicate thread, chances were they left for good. I was on top of the world wide web. All seemed perfect, or so I though. ***To Be Continued***

nerd get a lief!

tl;dr

Hey Trolltard,

I pwned your ass faggot, ran you right off of youtube.

Oh, and you joined "the ice cream gang"??

You are such a fag, and you don't even realize it.

Haha. The ice cream gang!

Here's the fuckin ice cream gang: http://photobucket.com/images/The+Ice+cream+gang/



LOL. That's a bad-ass crew, all right.

Well, anyhoo, it's obvious you're delusional. I'll leave you to your fantasies.

Cheerio, faggot.

Your pal (not),

rusty_trombonez (aka "The King")

well well well rusty_trombonez we meet again. What's wrong? Newgrounds getting a little too rough for ya to handle? Yeah you weren't so tough around digital_potato and coolboy. Why don't you tell everyone about the time your bitch ass cried to the mod about getting unbanned????

you people fail fail fail fail

I would hurt you all, not nice like before, but baaaaaad (from Clint Eastwoods last western)

Mr. Orgasm bump Wrote:
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> you people fail fail fail fail
>
> I would hurt you all, not nice like before, but
> baaaaaad (from Clint Eastwoods last western)

Bring it on girl scout

***Continued*** All seemed perfect or so I thought. "You have been banned from the forum," read the chilling message sent by the moderator on Newgrounds. My initial thoughts were that it was a joke sent by a user we flamed. I tried to send a PM to d1ck_tits asking him if he received a similar message in his inbox. However, I was unable to send any outgoing messages. "hmmm," I wondered "maybe the server is down or they are doing maintenance." I found a thread entitled "will my girlfriend go to jail?" "perfect," I thought "ready to troll this lamers ass!" I typed the perfect troll response and right as I was experiencing the high associated with typing the perfect response I hit the ground. I was blocked! Banned! Finished! Shortly thereafter my account was locked. Someone had betrayed me, stabbed me in the back. Maybe there was an informant inside the Ice Cream Gang? Maybe we were infiltrated by the Lost Boys who were one of our rival cyber gangs? I tried logging into our clubhouse but my account had been suspended. Immediately I started to panic, I knew someone inside of the Ice Cream Gang stabbed me in the back, but who was it? Who would sink so low to turn against one of their own? I logged onto instant message to see if anyone was on. To my luck walleyed_willy our assistant club president was on. "Wally tell me this can't be true! Tell me that I am having a nightmare!" We called him Wally for short. "Trolltar, word on the web is you made threats against mr_bojangles13 telling everyone how you were going to get him banned. There's chat going around that you gave out usernames and passwords to The Lost Boys and Nachyo Clan." Replied Wally. "That's bullshit and you know it! Now who the fuck told you that shit! I want names. NOW!" I typed as I became angrier. Wally replied with "Dude I've known and trusted a lot of informants, I've been in the game longer than you have. I've seen the shit go down and seen clubs collapse because of traders working on the inside. When you have reasonable suspicion you act out accordingly." Replied Wally before signing off. I was very frustrated and felt insulted that one of my brothers would deliberately stab me in the back! After all I helped make that club what they were. I later saw a window pop up, I had a new instant message from a user not on my buddy list, Purple_rain<3. "Hey is this Trolltar?" Asked the user. "Yeah who is this?" I replied. "Listen I don't have too long to type this but let's just say I have some info that might do you some good." "Who are you?" I asked. "Let's just say I know who you are, I can't tell you who I am or who I know but we share a common code of conduct and I know what happened to you so just listen." Confused I started reading what Purple_rain<3 was typing. "I know you weren't an informant, I know you never traded any usernames or passwords, I know your innocent. I also know the user who betrayed you. I won't tell you who it is." Immediately I replied with "then who in the hell are you? What's the fuckin' point if you won't tell me who it is?! Bulllllllllshit!" I hastily wrote. "Listen I can't fuckin' tell you because he is working with us as well but I will give you a hint. He slapped the donkey." Confused I replied "he slapped the donkey?" "What the hell is that?" No sooner did Purple_rain<3 sign off. "He slapped the donkey?" I kept repeating to myself over and over. What was she referring to? Was it a post? Was it a thread?" I began to backtrack from the very beginning and then I realized what she was talking about and I was shocked to say the least. I knew who it was! ***To Be Continued***

dude its starting to get interesting wat happens next?

has anyone even read the OP?

I haven't...

Signatures are for fags

I didnt read anything the OP wrote.

***Continued*** It was I. I banned myself. I soon realized that I was leading a double life. Not only was I "Trolltar" but I was also "Gaytar the butt Pirate". You see when I drink I blackout. During My blackouts I am a tranny that loves buttsex and my special sex move is "slap the donkey". I will try to explain this move but I will have to get drunk to remember.***To Be Continued***

Trolltar Wrote:
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> ***Continued*** It was I. I banned myself. I soon
> realized that I was leading a double life. Not
> only was I "Trolltar" but I was also "Gaytar the
> butt Pirate". You see when I drink I blackout.
> During My blackouts I am a tranny that loves
> buttsex and my special sex move is "slap the
> donkey". I will try to explain this move but I
> will have to get drunk to remember.***To Be
> Continued***

Oh go to hell you son of a bitch I got you figured out noob loser! Stop fucking with my stories you retarded waste of sperm!

I'm a troll too.
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You are the loser noob. You are the product of a sloppy buttfuck you halfwitt. The best part of you ran down your mother leg. The only thing retarded here is your pathetic attempt to steal my thread.

oh please if I were dad I would have jerked off instead of wasting my nut on a worthless loser like you!

if such an internet wizard, why will you never be able to post under the name:

Trolltar

ever again

you can alter it, but the troll has been p3wned before it even opened its little eyes

really? embarrassing for all

Please

Can't read a pile of words.

tl;dr@ Wrote:
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> I didnt read anything the OP wrote.


ME EITHER

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
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> has anyone even read the OP?
>
> I haven't...

NO! LOL

oh come on fellas just read the story

***Continued*** As I promised before I would try to remember what slap the donkey means. Last night I got blackout drunk and managed to write it down. This morning coming out of mu drunkin' stuper I was completely surprised by what I had wrote. Apparently when I become "Gaytar the butt Pirate tranny" I like to arouse a donkey by slapping his penis then have said donkey ride my ass and mouth until the donkey is satisfied. This being illegal and very disturbing is why I was banned from the Ice Cream Gang. Also I tried this maneuver on d1ck_tits he was not amused.***To Be Continued***

***Continued***
I knew who purple_rain<3 was talking about, and I was shocked to say the least. In my early days of trolling I came across a fellow troll who went by pacific_rimjob13. At first we made one kick ass combo which was an understatement. We tolled through every forum harder than a tsunami and took names. Before I joined the Ice Cream Gang we were even thinking of forming our own cyber gang, that was until blued_eyed_lashes walked into the picture. Blue_eyed_lashes was pacific_rimjob13's cyber girl. This girl could make words like runny shit read sexy as hell. She really knew how to write the lyrics as we say in the troll community. One evening I received an unknown incoming message, "hey sexy guess who?" I replied with "no idea who dis?" She replied with a kiss as I frantically accepted the message. It turned out to be blue_eyed_lashes. We chatted for several hours as she opened up to me about her online relationship with pacific_rimjob13. Eventually it started to get a little more intimate. "I am slowly taking off my shirt and pinching my nipple." Read the reply which would change my life. Nervously I replied back with "that is so hot." Before I knew it blue_eyed_lashes and I were cyber sexing. "I'm breathing heavier, closing my eyes, and feeling the inside of my juicy warm pussy," was the last message I read before I looked at my screen again and saw "who the fuck are you mother fucker?" Shocked I replied with "look it's not what you think." "Oh it isn't who the fuck, wait is that you trolltar?" "Trolltar you son of a slut this is you." "You goddamn traitor!" "You really donkey slapped my ass on this one." At a loss for words I blocked pacific_rimjob13. A couple of days later I noticed my account on the playstation forum was locked. I knew who it was, I just didn't have the balls to confront him. My main questions were how did he find me and why did he wait so long? My next question was how do I find him? As far as I knew pacific_rimjob13's username didn't exist anymore. The real man behind the name would periodically change his name every 6 months to avoid leaving a trail. Unfortunately his method worked. I was lost and didn't know what to do. How do I go about tracking this individual down? I started in the Metal Gear forums and worked my way to the old blogspace page. An anonymous tip lead me to xunderground where I found the username man_lips7500. After reading his profile I knew it was him and that he wasn't too far off. Eventually I bumped in to an old partner, rash55, who told me he was currently using the screen name power_rangerTRBO. For a week I sat by my computer day and night waiting for him to sign on. Just as I was about to give up I heard a new user sign on. There he was! Finally I was about to get the answers I needed! ***To Be Continued***

Go back and hide underneath your bridge please. Preferably the bay bridge.

This is a pathetic story. Who get all worked up over an internet affair?
What kind of loser are you? First you are talking about gay stuff now cyber sexing???????

Yeah. Its a pretty uninteresting story. I would have thought a professional troll would be a little more articulate.

 

Fool. I was trolling you from day 1 for shitz and giggles.

As for "the ice cream gang," there was no such "gang".

It was all me.

Every "member."

Playstation lockup?

Me.

"power_rangerTRBO" ?

Me.

Are you going to tell these folks the *real* story of what happened, or are you planning some fictitious triumph that took place only in your imagination?

Either way, it doesn't matter.

You lost. I won.

Adios, loser.

Okay.

What did you win?

I don't see what you girls are complaining about. My story has everything betrayal, sex, romance, action, and twists. It's also all true. You tell me how many people live more interesting lives than myself! I have internet friends on all four corners of the globe ready to talk that jive. I am a cyber pimp I got so many lovely ladies on skype it's ridiculous. I can get cyber sex whenever I want! And stop registering my username n3rds!

Life as a Troll? Sounds so negative of someone living in a lonely, secluded and dark world.

What brand of chipotle mayo do you prefer tho?

Tr0lltar Wrote:
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> I don't see what you girls are complaining about.
> My story has everything betrayal, sex, romance,
> action, and twists. It's also all true. You tell
> me how many people live more interesting lives
> than myself! I have internet friends on all four
> corners of the globe ready to talk that jive. I
> am a cyber pimp I got so many lovely ladies on
> skype it's ridiculous. I can get cyber sex
> whenever I want! And stop registering my username
> n3rds!

Signatures are for fags

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
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> What brand of chipotle mayo do you prefer tho?
>
> Tr0lltar Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I don't see what you girls are complaining
> about.
> > My story has everything betrayal, sex, romance,
> > action, and twists. It's also all true. You
> tell
> > me how many people live more interesting lives
> > than myself! I have internet friends on all
> four
> > corners of the globe ready to talk that jive.
> I
> > am a cyber pimp I got so many lovely ladies on
> > skype it's ridiculous. I can get cyber sex
> > whenever I want! And stop registering my
> username
> > n3rds!


Chile Verde Mayo please

 

if you poopface tomato noses aren't careful I might not publish the next part of my fuckin' story! It'll be like your drunk and gotta take a massive piss but you can't that is how excited you will be.

trolltar aka misery once again trying to show his short story writing skills
blah

I'm waiting with baited breath trolltard.

And then Moreno wonders why so many bad things happened to him