Not that I believe this, but some half-wit weekend supervisor Bible thunping from Ghana at my work is predicting that the end of the world will be May 21, 2011! Now before you dismiss this bullshit, go here and read and...beware...Beware...BEWARE!!!

Judgment Day! May 21, 2011!
http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/may21/

And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man. Revelation 9:5

omg im fucked

F'g bullshit. My wireless plan ends on the 20th! I was gonna switch to Verizon! Fuuuuuuuucckkkkk.

496 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> F'g bullshit. My wireless plan ends on the 20th! I
> was gonna switch to Verizon! Fuuuuuuuucckkkkk.


Can you hear me now, BITCH?

no more mortgage paymentents! WoooHooo!

FUNdamental Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> no more mortgage paymentents! WoooHooo!

The End is Near...
Attachments:

Great! No need for me to go back home woohooo

Hey, I lived long enough, had some fun. It'll be fun watching all the hillbillys, yuppies, queers, 3rd worlders and ghettotrash being consumed by the fire (even though I will be too).
And just think of all the Fairfax County schoolkids who will be spared the effort of commiting suicide.

Promises promises,,,I've heard this before

Besides everyone knows the end of the world is Dec 21, 2012

Nostradoofus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Not that I believe this, but some half-wit weekend
> supervisor Bible thunping from Ghana at my work is
> predicting that the end of the world will be May
> 21, 2011! Now before you dismiss this bullshit, go
> here and read and...beware...Beware...BEWARE!!!
>
> Judgment Day! May 21, 2011!
> http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/may21/
>
> And to them it was given that they should not kill
> them, but that they should be tormented five
> months: and their torment was as the torment of a
> scorpion, when he striketh a man. Revelation 9:5


According to a man named Jesus Christ AKA Son of God "No one will know the day or the hour of my return". Not even Jesus himself will know until its time. So predicting exactly when it will end is folly. But we are definitely having a lot of signs that point to the end. That could be anywhere from 10 years from now to 100 or more.

My money is on tomorrow.

__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.

The article was absolute malarkey... and I know a couple things about malarkey...

Signatures are for fags

I have a court date in May 21.

Wat now Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a court date in May 21.

Is your court date with "Judge Jesus"?
Attachments:

Warhawk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My money is on tomorrow.


Bad news.

It's already tomorrow.........somewhere.

There is a another group which has put up a big billboard near Family Radio's headquarters which challenges them about May 21 with a completely different point of view. Here is a youtube video that has a picture of their billboard in it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y14YxNhj40 What do you all think about it?

It's Friday the 13th bitches!!! 8 days from now....JUDGEMENT DAY!!!
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Hahhahahahahahhahahahha!
Attachments:

i predict there are going to be some embarrassed people about making such a claim on the 22nd.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

It's called 'date-setting' and it's been an (unfortunate) common occurrence throughout the history of the church. It's been most notably seen in the 19th century with various forms of Adventism.

Most groups have to explain themselves after their predictions fail. Often new dates will be set with 'recalculated' numbers, but that can only work so many times. Sometimes it's changed from a literal return into some sort of spiritual/allegorical return.
Very rarely do the leaders admit they were just dead wrong and had no business doing it in the first place (had they just listened to Jesus's words on the matter).

Gravis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> i predict there are going to be some embarrassed
> people about making such a claim on the 22nd.


And at least one FCPS student will ask in a post..."Since the world didn't end, do you think school will be open?"

I can't wait so I can taunt my supervisor on the 22nd. :P

But in case it does happen, I've had a good life and I've made my mistakes sure...But I have few regrets. So if I am to be judged let it be for who I am and what I was, and who I tried to be.

At least WSHS seniors can calm down. The world is going to end before prom anyway, so who cares if it's cancelled or not.

__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.

Why a Vicious Transvestite in a Mobile Chair Makes Me Believe in May 21, 2011 as Judgment Day, the End of the World
Ominous Signs of Strife to Signal Harold Camping's Prophesied Day of Doom

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/8059991/why_a_vicious_transvestite_in_a_mobile.html?cat=9

Only a few days left Sinners...And then Jesus starts shooting!
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Well I'm definately not paying any bills until the 22nd,,,if it's over I want to die owing money,,,

I win then, right?

Does anyone REALLY think the world will end on this date?

Signatures are for fags

I can dream can't I?

Are you telling me you have dreams about Kirk Cameron?

Signatures are for fags

?

I just woke up from a two hour nap. I feel weird.

Is that a long nap? or a short nap?

Signatures are for fags

I need to find a woman ASAP!

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is that a long nap? or a short nap?




A long nap. I feel like I am in a lucid dream.

Blessed are the murderous.

The world has been dead for years. It's just filled with TV programmed know it all's walking around giving away all their personal information dying to fit into a society filled with greedy judgmental
back stabbing without
morel hypocrites.

I like when I fall asleep at an unusual time... then wake up completely disoriented...

I'm not sure what day it is or what I should do next... It's like getting an extra day...

Variety really is the spice of life... and my shit is bland right now...

Signatures are for fags

I really want to respond to this post... but I'm not sure where to go from here...

Do you have any specific examples... or something?

derpz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The world has been dead for years. It's just
> filled with TV programmed know it all's walking
> around giving away all their personal information
> dying to fit into a society filled with greedy
> judgmental
> back stabbing without
> morel hypocrites.

Signatures are for fags

"The world has been dead for years"

I like that quote,,,,

derpz has an interesting way
of writing posts.
It's kinda
like
this.

I don't think I will ever finish reading the book that Mr. Misery has recommended
that I read..

Signatures are for fags

Was that Secret Rondezvous? What the hell is that?

A surreal book about a guy looking for his wife in an underground hospital...

I think...

Signatures are for fags

I never finished reading Neuromancer. I started reading it in '06.

I'm more of a real life kind of guy,,,I've been reading all the George Pelecanos
books lately,,,they all take place in DC

I'll never be able to tell that beautiful Red-Haired girl that she got that case of crabs from me. ~Charlie Brown
Attachments:

Only one more Day Until THIS happens...
Attachments:

Beware...!


The End of the World
October 21, 2011

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The purpose of this tract is to inform you of the great urgency there now is in the world for each and every person to be reconciled to God. The Bible is the Word of God! Everything the Bible declares has the full authority of God Himself. Now, at this time, information is coming forth from the Bible which clearly reveals God’s plan for Judgment Day and the end of the world itself. The Bible has opened up its secrets concerning the timeline of history. This information was never previously known because God had closed up His Word blocking any attempt to gain knowledge of the end of the world. We read about this in the book of Daniel:

Daniel 12:9 And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.

However, now in our present day, God has opened up His Word (the Bible) to reveal a great deal of truth concerning the end of time (and many other teachings). Also, in the same chapter of Daniel, it says:

Daniel 12:4 But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased.

God is now opening up His Word because we have arrived at the time of the end. For this reason, it has become very obvious to the serious student of the Bible that we are now living in the last few days of earth’s history. As a matter of fact, because we are living at the end of time, God is now revealing to His people the following information:

THE BIBLE’S CALENDAR OF HISTORY
The Lord has opened up His people’s understanding to the “Biblical calendar” found on the pages of the Bible. The genealogies of the book of Genesis, primarily in chapters 5 and 11, can be shown to be a precise calendar of the history of mankind in this world. The Bible’s calendar of history is completely accurate and trustworthy.

Since this Bible calendar is given by God in His Word, it can be trusted wholeheartedly. In this brief pamphlet, we will share some of the conclusions derived from the Biblical calendar and from other studies in the Scriptures. However, the amount of information available is far too abundant and complex to get into much detail in this short pamphlet; but we can and will give precise and compelling dates. These dates can be trusted entirely because they come right out of the Bible. (EBiblefellowship has no affiliation with Family Radio; however, we highly recommend that you obtain a free copy of the book “We Are Almost There!” by writing to the following address: Family Stations, Inc., 290 Hegenberger Rd., Oakland, CA 94621. This book goes into far greater detail regarding the timing of Judgment Day and the end of the world. Also, you can read or download “We Are Almost There!” online at: www.familyradio.com).

TIMING OF IMPORTANT EVENTS IN HISTORY
11,013 BC—Creation. God created the world and man (Adam and Eve).

4990 BC—The flood of Noah’s day. All perished in a worldwide flood. Only Noah, his wife, and his 3 sons and their wives survived in the ark (6023 years from creation).

7 BC—The year Jesus Christ was born (11,006 years from creation).

33 AD—The year Jesus Christ was crucified and the church age began (11,045 years from creation; 5023 calendar years from the flood).

1988 AD—This year ended the church age and began the great tribulation period of 23 years (13,000 years from creation).

1994 AD—On September 7th, the first 2300-day period of the great tribulation came to an end and the latter rain began, commencing God’s plan to save a great multitude of people outside of the churches (13,006 years from creation).

2011 AD—On May 21st, Judgment Day will begin and the rapture (the taking up into heaven of God’s elect people) will occur at the end of the 23-year great tribulation. On October 21st, the world will be destroyed by fire (7000 years from the flood; 13,023 years from creation).

ONE DAY IS AS 1000 YEARS
The child of God has learned from the Bible that the language of Genesis 7 has a twofold meaning:

Genesis 7:4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

Historically, as God spoke these words, there were seven days remaining for Noah, his family, and the animals to get into the safety of the ark; but spiritually (and the Bible is a spiritual book), God was speaking to all of the people of the world and was declaring that sinful mankind would have 7000 years to find refuge in the salvation provided by Jesus Christ. How can we know that? We know this is so based on what we read in 2 Peter, chapter 3:

2 Peter 3:6-8 Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished: But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men. But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

The context of 2 Peter 3 is extremely important! In the first few verses, God refers us to the destruction of the world by the flood during Noah’s day. Then we find an interesting admonition that we ought not to be “ignorant” of one thing, which is, 1 day is as 1000 years, and 1000 years is as 1 day. Immediately following this bit of information is a very vivid description of the end of the present world by fire.

What could God be telling us by identifying 1 day along with 1000 years?

Since we recently have discovered the Biblical calendar of history on the pages of the Bible, we find that the flood of Noah’s day occurred in the year 4990 BC. This date is completely accurate (for further information on the Biblical timeline of history, please go to: www.familyradio.com). It was in the year 4990 BC that God revealed to Noah that there would be yet 7 days until the flood of waters would be upon the earth. Now, if we substitute 1000 years for each one of those 7 days, we get 7000 years. And when we project 7000 years into the future from 4990 BC, we find that it falls on the year 2011 AD.

4990 + 2011 = 7001

Note: When counting from an Old Testament date to a New Testament date, always subtract one year because there is no year zero, resulting in:

4990 + 2011 – 1 = 7000 years exactly.

The year 2011 AD will be the 7000th year from the flood of Noah’s day. It will be the end of the length of time given to mankind to find grace in God’s sight. This means that the time to find refuge in Christ has grown extremely short. We are only a little ways off from the year 2011 AD!

It is not unusual that God’s people have been given insight into the timing of the end of the world. Actually, the Bible tells us this is normally the case. In times past, God has warned His people of approaching periods of judgment:

Amos 3:7 Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets.

Hebrews 11:7 By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith.

JUDGMENT DAY: MAY 21st, 2011
We know that the year 2011 is the 7000th year from the flood. We also know that God will destroy this world in that year. But when in 2011 will this occur?

The answer is amazing. Let’s take another look at the flood account in the book of Genesis:

Genesis 7:11 In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.

Faithful to His Word, God did bring the flood 7 days later in the 600th year, on the 17th day of the 2nd month of the calendar aligned with Noah’s lifespan. It was on this 17th day of the 2nd month that God shut the door on the ark, securing the safety of its occupants and also sealing the fate of everyone else in the world outside of the ark. They would all now certainly perish in that worldwide catastrophe.

Genesis 7:16,17 And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in. And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.

Earlier it was mentioned that the church age came to an end in the year 1988 AD. It so happens that the church age began on the day of Pentecost (May 22nd) in the year 33 AD. Then 1955 years later, the church age came to its conclusion on May 21st, which was the day before Pentecost in 1988.

The Bible teaches that the end of the church age would occur simultaneously with the beginning of the great tribulation:

Matthew 24:21 For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.

On May 21st, 1988, God finished using the churches and congregations of the world. The Spirit of God left all churches and Satan, the man of sin, entered into the churches to rule at that point in time. The Bible teaches us that this awful period of judgment upon the churches would last for 23 years. A full 23 years (8400 days exactly) would be from May 21 st, 1988 until May 21st, 2011. This information was discovered in the Bible completely apart from the information regarding the 7000 years from the flood.

Therefore, we see that the full 23-year tribulation period concludes on May 21st, 2011. This date is the exact day that the great tribulation comes to its end, and this is also the most likely landing spot for the 7000 years from the flood of Noah’s day.

Keep in mind that God shut the door on the ark on the 17th day of the 2nd month of Noah’s calendar. We also find that May 21 st, 2011 is the end of the great tribulation period. There is a strong relationship between the 2nd month and 17th day of Noah’s calendar and May 21st, 2011 of our Gregorian calendar. This relationship cannot be readily seen until we discover that there is another calendar to consider, which is the Hebrew (or Biblical) calendar. May 21 st, 2011 happens to be the 17th day of the 2nd month of the Hebrew calendar. By this, God is confirming to us that we have a very correct understanding regarding the 7000-year timeline from the flood. May 21 st, 2011 is the equivalent date to the date when God shut the door on Noah’s ark. Through this and much other Biblical information, we find that May 21 st, 2011 will be the day when God takes up into heaven His elect people. May 21st, 2011 will be Judgment Day! This is the day God shuts the door of salvation on the world.

In other words, in having the great tribulation period conclude on a day that identifies with the 17th day of the 2nd month of Noah’s calendar, God is without question confirming to us that this is the day He intends to shut forever the door of entry into heaven:

John 10:9 I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.

The Bible is very clear that Christ is the only way into heaven. He is the only portal into the glorious kingdom of heaven.

Acts 4:12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

Once the door (Jesus) is shut on Judgment Day, there is no more salvation possible on earth:

Revelation 3:7 …These things saith he that is holy, he that is true, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth;

The Bible teaches that on May 21st, 2011, only true believers elected by God to receive salvation will be raptured (taken up) out of this world to meet the Lord in the air and forever be with the Lord:

1 Thessalonians 4:16,17 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

All the rest of mankind (billions of people) will be left behind to experience the awful judgment of God, a horrible period of 5 months of torment upon earth:

Revelation 9:3-5 And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth: and unto them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power. And it was commanded them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only those men which have not the seal of God in their foreheads. And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man.

THE END OF THE WORLD: OCTOBER 21st, 2011
By God’s grace and tremendous mercy, He is giving us advanced warning as to what He is about to do. On Judgment Day, May 21st, 2011, this 5-month period of horrible torment will begin for all the inhabitants of the earth. It will be on May 21st that God will raise up all the dead that have ever died from their graves. Earthquakes will ravage the whole world as the earth will no longer conceal its dead (Isaiah 26:21). People who died as saved individuals will experience the resurrection of their bodies and immediately leave this world to forever be with the Lord. Those who died unsaved will be raised up as well, but only to have their lifeless bodies scattered about the face of all the earth. Death will be everywhere.

The Lord also emphasizes these awful 5 months of destruction in the final verse of Genesis, chapter 7:

Genesis 7:24 And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.

Five months after May 21st, 2011 will be October 21st, 2011. It so happens that October 21st of 2011 is also the last day of the Biblical Feast of Tabernacles (held simultaneously with the Feast of Ingathering). Tabernacles is held in the 7th month of the Hebrew calendar. The way God speaks of this feast in the Bible is very significant:

Exodus 23:16 …the feast of ingathering, which is in the end of the year, when thou hast gathered in thy labours out of the field.

Exodus 34:22 And thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, of the firstfruits of wheat harvest, and the feast of ingathering at the year's end.

The Feast of Tabernacles / Ingathering was said to be in the “end of the year” even though it was observed in the Hebrew 7th month, which is not the end of the year. The reason for this is that the spiritual fulfillment of this particular feast is the end of the world. The date October 21st, 2011 will be the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles and the last day of earth’s existence. The Bible describes what will take place on October 21st, 2011 in the following passage:

2 Peter 3:10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

Along with the entire world and universe, all those who have sinned against God and were left behind will likewise be consumed by this fire and be eternally destroyed:

2 Thessalonians 1:8,9 In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power;

On October 21st, 2011, God will completely destroy this creation and all of the people who never experienced the salvation of Jesus Christ along with it. The awful payment for their sinful rebellion against God will be completed by the loss of everlasting life. On October 21st, 2011, all of these poor people will cease to exist from that point forward. How sad that noble man, made in God’s image, will die like a beast and perish forever:

Psalm 49:12 Nevertheless man being in honour abideth not: he is like the beasts that perish.

There is much more to share. But please, dear soul, be warned that the time for salvation is drawing to a rapid close! God has given the world 7000 years from the flood, and now only a few days remain until we reach May 21st, 2011. Before we know it, time will have run completely out. The few grains of sand remaining in our hourglass will have elapsed and be gone forever. Although little time remains, there is still wonderful hope for anyone today:

2 Corinthians 6:2 (For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)

It does not take God much time at all to save someone. In the last hours of a terribly sinful life, the thief on the cross was saved by Christ:

Luke 23:42,43 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.

Our prayer is that you will receive this tract in the spirit of genuine concern in which it is being offered. As you read this pamphlet, please carefully consider the verses quoted from the Bible, for they are the Word of God, and as such, possess absolute power and authority. Our only hope for salvation is through the reading of the Word of God. It is now that the door of heaven (Christ) is open. It is now that God is saving a great multitude of people from around the world outside of the churches and congregations:

Revelation 7:9,13,14 After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, and palms in their hands; …What are these which are arrayed in white robes? and whence came they? And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

God saves through the hearing of the Word of God and no other way:

Romans 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Read the Bible with all your family (especially your children); and along with your reading, pray for mercy. Pray to the merciful and gracious God of the Bible that He might deliver you from the approaching destruction. We learn a little about God’s tremendous compassion in the book of Jonah. God also gave advance warning to the people of Nineveh regarding the destruction of their city:

Jonah 3:4-9 And Jonah began to enter into the city a day's journey, and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown. So the people of Nineveh believed God, and proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them. For word came unto the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, and he laid his robe from him, and covered him with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. And he caused it to be proclaimed and published through Nineveh by the decree of the king and his nobles, saying, Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste any thing: let them not feed, nor drink water: But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily unto God: yea, let them turn every one from his evil way, and from the violence that is in their hands. Who can tell if God will turn and repent, and turn away from his fierce anger, that we perish not?

God did not destroy the people of Nineveh. Although there is no possibility that God will not follow through on His intention to destroy the world in 2011, we can know from His dealings with the people of Nineveh that God is tenderhearted and full of mercy. This should encourage each one of us to go to God and beseech Him for His great mercy.

Psalm 86:15,16 But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. O turn unto me, and have mercy upon me;…



For more information visit:

www.ebiblefellowship.com

Have you checked September in 1752?

http://www.timeanddate.com/calendar/custom.html?year=1752&month=9&country=1&typ=1&cols=3&display=1&df=1

Just askin'...

So, is this group going to be embarrassed when the rapture doesn't happen?

That God sure is an amazing fellow. Why, He wrote the Bible and dropped clues about the end of the world in it before the creation of the modern calendar we now use!

PRAISE BE TO KRISHNA!

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

Omnipotence is a hell of a drug!

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So, is this group going to be embarrassed when the
> rapture doesn't happen?


No: Prepare to hear the following on Sunday:
1. We were off in calculations.
2. We succeeded because we brought awareness and God saw hope
3. Not sure, but I am closer to God because of it, so it was worth it.


You won’t hear:
1. We are stupid
2. Our faith is a lie
3. Your right, we were had by a scam artist.

JR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> eesh Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > So, is this group going to be embarrassed when
> the
> > rapture doesn't happen?
>
>
> No: Prepare to hear the following on Sunday:
> 1. We were off in calculations.
> 2. We succeeded because we brought awareness and
> God saw hope
> 3. Not sure, but I am closer to God because of it,
> so it was worth it.


That's stupid.

Fairfax County saturday morning...
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Revelation 9:5 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fairfax County saturday morning...


and Sunday morning.......and Monday morning......and Tuesday morning.....etc,etc,etc...

"Knock Knock"
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Those are some pretty old cars in that Jesus/UN painting. Part of the problem with predicting an exact time for the end of the world. Reality tends to disappoint.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

Just to be safe, I think I'm going to wait until the 22nd to mow the lawn.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

BULLSHIT

In five minutes, god is going to anally rape me. Fuck...

So I just took my puppy outside to shit right when the clock struck midnight. The only thing of biblical proportions out there was the steaming mound he left for me to bag.

Gonads & Strife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So I just took my puppy outside to shit right when
> the clock struck midnight. The only thing of
> biblical proportions out there was the steaming
> mound he left for me to bag.


+1

Raptor Jesus has our back
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Kiwis are still here... no surprise there, of course...

No way Kiwis would be raptured off to heaven..

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/8527582/Apocalypse-not-right-now-Rapture-end-of-world-fails-to-materialise.html

Signatures are for fags

:P
Attachments:

Are they dead in asia yet? Because the 21st is winding down over there right now. Or does the apocalypse only affect us on eastern time zones?

asia Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Are they dead in asia yet? Because the 21st is
> winding down over there right now. Or does the
> apocalypse only affect us on eastern time zones?

It depends on how much crack you've had. LOL
Attachments:

The Time: Now
The Place: Fairfax County "Korea Town" aka Annandale
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The toast warned us...



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

Are we dead yet?

Hey kid you want frieds with that rapture?
Attachments:

.
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I maxed out my credit cards in one week, screwed my neighbors wife and told my boss to suck my dick. If the world doesnt end today I am in for a real bad Monday.

I am an essential worker!

-----------------------------------------------

"...your suffering will be legendary even in Hell!"

Who will be the first group to be raptured?

I figure the muslims for all the crap they have pulled lately. Not sure if the gays will take a big hit because you just dont know how God feels about them. They dont really hurt anyone.

I am hoping those phoney preachers on tv get a real ass kicking though, never liked them at all.

Anxious Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Who will be the first group to be raptured?
>

Considering the rapture happens in every time zone starting at 6pm and the fact no one has been raptured yet, seems like God has saved all the primo rapture seats for us Americans!

USA! USA! USA! USA!

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http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

Catholic priests first.

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"...your suffering will be legendary even in Hell!"

I hope so and a double dose of rapture for the ones in the catholic church who covered for them and made it possible

Locked and loaded ready to kill some zombies

My theory is God reached his rapture quota with Macho Man, who is so friggin awesome.

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http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

Ha, nice one... Macho Man died for our sins, y'all!

Signatures are for fags

Was going to do some work outside today but figured what the hell only a couple hours left till total extinction, why even bother.

Nontachuc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Was going to do some work outside today but
> figured what the hell only a couple hours left
> till total extinction, why even bother.

Some folks made it:

http://gizmodo.com/5804259/the-best-rapture-prank-pictures/gallery/1

Ok, I just finished shopping with the wife, now I'm sitting outside with a bourbon neat. What time is this rapture shit supposed to happen?

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W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/21/2011 04:07PM by graymoose1.

graymoose1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ok, I just finished shopping with the wife, now
> I'm sitting outside with a bourbon neat. What time
> is this rapture shit supposed to happen?


Drink up. Last call is about 5:45pm, shit hits the fan after that at 6:00pm. At 6:01pm you'll be drinking bourbon with Macho Man and Bin Laden..

Looks to me like the only thing that's been raptured is familyradio.com - the huckster's website is offline.

Yeah, they closed up shop Friday and vanished... Camping can't even be found at home.

Signatures are for fags

Any reports of him buying large quantities of Kool-Aid mix before he disappeared?

Hope all of you have your firearms loaded, nothing but unsaved heathens left after this evening. Every man for himself!

Every man will have to back up his own shit, you mean.

Too funny...!
Attachments:

I'v got my slingshot ready but I like to use ball bearings or marbles for ammo. I think I lost my marbles.

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W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hope all of you have your firearms loaded, nothing
> but unsaved heathens left after this evening.
> Every man for himself!


And every woman for himself!
I got this mental image of Misery hiding under his bed for some reason.

Jasum Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> eesh Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hope all of you have your firearms loaded,
> nothing
> > but unsaved heathens left after this evening.
> > Every man for himself!
>
>
> And every woman for himself!
> I got this mental image of Misery hiding under
> his bed for some reason.

Under his skank mother's bed.

The Rapture

18 million bucks raised by that dopey Pastor for this hoax. No surprise he's missing in action.

Sinners Take All Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jasum Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > eesh Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Hope all of you have your firearms loaded,
> > nothing
> > > but unsaved heathens left after this evening.
> > > Every man for himself!
> >
> >
> > And every woman for himself!
> > I got this mental image of Misery hiding under
> > his bed for some reason.
>
> Under his skank mother's bed.

She's not a skank and that's not a very nice thing to say. No redemption for you!

Numbers Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 18 million bucks raised by that dopey Pastor for
> this hoax. No surprise he's missing in action.


He's no dope. He may be a slime ball and dishonest rascal but the dopes are the people who fall for this bull and helped him accumulate the 18 million.

GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!!!!!!