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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: Spoonbread ()
Date: September 24, 2010 03:01PM

Practice these simple habits, and you'll be sounding like a refined person from the Northeast or Midwest in no time!

Rule Number 1: NASALITY IS YOUR FRIEND. Northerners pack every vowel through their nose. That way they avoid that uneducated sounding "drawl" that Southerners have. Make sure you clip your words too- no elongation of vowels, that simply isn't nice. Talking through the nose allows you to talk twice as fast as those dim witted yokels down South

Rule Number 2: Make sure you add an "e" to every "i" vowel. Its not bye, its byeeeeeee. Its not Hi. Its hieeeee. Its not time, its tieeeeeeem. Thats proper and sounds educated.

Rule Number 3: Refer to women as "guys". Always greet anyone, regardless of gender as "You Guys". Its the correct way, and sounds ever so sophisticated. Not like that hick 'Y'all" or "You Folks" saying. Repeat after me: Hieeeee You Guyeeeees". Byeeeee You Guyeees".

Rule Number 4 Call all matter of fizzy drinks "Sodas". Never mind that Soda is something you bake with. Thats right, whether is a coke or a sprite or a shasta, its still a "soda". Never ever say "soft drink". Thats just uneducated sounding.

Rule Number 5:Remember to talk as fast as possible. Any pauses between sentences should last no longer than 1.5 seconds. If you pause longer than that people might think you're a stupid slow minded Southerner, and we don't want that, now do we?


Practice these 5 Golden Rules and you'll be on your way to sounding just like those sophisticates from the egalitarian land of ice and snow.

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: Meade Alert ()
Date: September 24, 2010 03:04PM

Thanks Meade.

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: Eastsider ()
Date: September 24, 2010 03:11PM

Fake Meade post. It's too angry to be the real Meade.

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: dulce de wuht ()
Date: September 24, 2010 03:18PM

it's wingnut. ask eesh. he noes.

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: NicoleH ()
Date: September 24, 2010 03:18PM

Eastsider Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fake Meade post. It's too angry to be the real
> Meade.


Agreed!

OP...why are you so angry?

You could've posted this as an
information post.

But, clearly you are pissed off.

What's going on?

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: Troll@AOL ()
Date: September 24, 2010 04:45PM

'Spoonbread' wrote:
> "'soda'. Never ever say 'soft drink'.
> Thats just uneducated sounding."

YOU SOUND LIKE A "SOFT" AND DUMB AS ROCKS
LIBERAL DEMOCRAT THAT ENJOYS 'DRINKING' OTHER
MENZ PENIS JUICE. NOT TO MENTION YOU SEEM
QUITE FAMILIAR WITH SODA, AS IN 'BAKING SODA'
IN YOUR CRACK ROCKS.


.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: Gonads & Strife ()
Date: September 24, 2010 04:49PM

I believe the "uneducated" way to say soda is "pop" isn't it? Imagine if the south had won the civil war all of our slaves would be requesting grape Nehi "pop".... ::shudder::

----------------------------------------------------

Who is Gonads & Strife?
Outing on FFU: I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all Robert Paulson...or Eesh...or Eli...

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: ThePackLeader ()
Date: September 24, 2010 04:58PM

Faxbaraugh, it's hallawed grand. BaSax fah life, Patriats tel dath!

==================================================================================================
"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: Nealie ()
Date: June 30, 2011 11:02PM

im from south tennessee and i dont appreciate how yall are talkin crap about us..we aint uneducated we just have a different accent..i hate yankees and they way they talk..way too proper and stupid

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: Hundley Survivor ()
Date: July 01, 2011 04:18AM

Fuck all Yankees. Go back home!

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: yo' mamma ()
Date: June 26, 2012 05:49PM

yall damn lost yall's minds. dont talk shit about us down here cuz 1 day we goin to rise again and kick yall in tha mother fuckin teeth.

by the way im highly educated. i have a batchelor degree in aviation.
also 75% of the military is from the south and the best aviation schools in the united states are in the south.

so come the south and talk shit and watch happen's to your teeth.

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Re: How to talk like a Yankee !
Posted by: VA-TNline ()
Date: June 26, 2012 06:38PM

Yeah, South Tennessee, lol. There's no such thing. TN is just East, Middle, And West TN. If you're going to be a troll, at least do it right.
Nashville is not very Southern anyway. lots of transplants from the Midwest.

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