This may be unrealistic, but I'm looking to buy a dog that has the following characteristics:

(1) Doesn't bark much.
(2) Doesn't shed much.
(3) Is a hypoallergenic type.
(4) Won't tear up my house.
(5) Is medium sized (i.e.: smaller than a Labrador, bigger than that rat-looking dog Paris Hilton carries around with her).
(6) Is great with kids.
(7) Doesn't get those nasty tear stains around the eyes.
(8) Is playful overall, but not all up in my face 24-7.
(9) Doesn't need to be walked 10 miles a day.
(10) Doesn't fart.

Any suggestions?

Thanks.

http://www.douglascuddletoy.com/dyn_prod.php?p=DOU491&k=155276&name=Max%20Black%20Lab

$138.60
Attachments:

Let me add:

(11) Is alive.

How about a Beagle? I don't know how well it meets the criteria of your unrealistic list, but they are fine dogs. They are good with kids, trainable, and not to big.

Yes, I was going to nominate a Beagle too. They are very good dogs and fun to play with.

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> How about a Beagle? I don't know how well it meets
> the criteria of your unrealistic list, but they
> are fine dogs. They are good with kids, trainable,
> and not to big.
>
> http://www.krittercards.com/images/beagle1.jpghttp
> ://www.pawshspa.com/photos/albums/userpics/10001/b
> eagle_picture.jpghttp://www.delmarvaparanormal.com
> /images/beagle.jpg

If you get a Beagle puppy at a shelter don't make the same mistake I did.
I've owned Beagle's all my life and wouldnt consider any other breed, but
we adopted a 3 month old from the shelter in Middleburg and he is a handfull.
He turned out to be a Harrier, a large strain of Beagle and weighs in at
57 pounds. Not the best house dog in the world. He's a monster but we're
gonna keep him anyway. Every other Beagle I've ever had was fine indoors
and with the family but this guy is too damned smart for his own good. Much
too independent and stubborn.

§ Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This may be unrealistic, but I'm looking to buy a
> dog that has the following characteristics:
>
> (1) Doesn't bark much.
> (2) Doesn't shed much.
> (3) Is a hypoallergenic type.
> (4) Won't tear up my house.
> (5) Is medium sized (i.e.: smaller than a
> Labrador, bigger than that rat-looking dog Paris
> Hilton carries around with her).
> (6) Is great with kids.
> (7) Doesn't get those nasty tear stains around the
> eyes.
> (8) Is playful overall, but not all up in my face
> 24-7.
> (9) Doesn't need to be walked 10 miles a day.
> (10) Doesn't fart.
>
> Any suggestions?
>
> Thanks.



It's unrealistic. You won't find a dog that doesn't fart. My lab is old and has stinky old man farts.

However, my neighbor has a miniature dachshund and that dog is awesome. It's the smartest dog I've ever encountered, but unfortunately is a little hyper and barks a little bit if it doesn't know you. I've sat outside and threw a ball for an hour (I swear) with that dog. It never slowed down. It meets all of your requirements except for the active factor.

__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.

§ Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This may be unrealistic, but I'm looking to buy a
> dog that has the following characteristics:
>
> (1) Doesn't bark much.
> (2) Doesn't shed much.
> (3) Is a hypoallergenic type.
> (4) Won't tear up my house.
> (5) Is medium sized (i.e.: smaller than a
> Labrador, bigger than that rat-looking dog Paris
> Hilton carries around with her).
> (6) Is great with kids.
> (7) Doesn't get those nasty tear stains around the
> eyes.
> (8) Is playful overall, but not all up in my face
> 24-7.
> (9) Doesn't need to be walked 10 miles a day.
> (10) Doesn't fart.
>
> Any suggestions?
>
> Thanks.



English mastiff, very low maintenance dogs.

Beagles = loud! They can bark a lot, and their bark is piercing. Try something like a spaniel or maybe a bulldog? Better yet, go and get a rescued mutt puppy.

I know some folks with a Boston Terrier and I think the dog is great. It's a smaller dog and it's normally pretty chill, but can get real playful when you want it to. It doesn't really need to be walked much, it seems to have a blast just running around the yard, the kind of dog that is content playing "fetch" for awhile every day. Gets along great with kids, and has real short hair that doesn't shed everywhere. I rarely hear it bark, unless you're intentionally getting it all wound up or if it sees deer in their yard. It's not an in-your-face-24/7 dog, but it is quite social and seems to like be near people when they're around. I really like the little guy (and I'm not a "dog person").
Attachments:

§ Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This may be unrealistic, but I'm looking to buy a
> dog that has the following characteristics:
>
> (1) Doesn't bark much.
> (2) Doesn't shed much.
> (3) Is a hypoallergenic type.
> (4) Won't tear up my house.
> (5) Is medium sized (i.e.: smaller than a
> Labrador, bigger than that rat-looking dog Paris
> Hilton carries around with her).
> (6) Is great with kids.
> (7) Doesn't get those nasty tear stains around the
> eyes.
> (8) Is playful overall, but not all up in my face
> 24-7.
> (9) Doesn't need to be walked 10 miles a day.
> (10) Doesn't fart.
>
> Any suggestions?
>
> Thanks.

You need to prioritize those criteria as no single breed will meet them all. Most breeds already mentioned do not meet #3. One breed that meets most of them, including #3, is a Bichon Frise.

(1) Doesn't bark much. Check. That's why I say to get a male. The females are more yappy.
(2) Doesn't shed much. Check. Doesn't shed ANY.
(3) Is a hypoallergenic type. Check.
(4) Won't tear up my house. Check.
(5) Is medium sized. Check. 15 lbs. +/-
(6) Is great with kids. Check.
(7) Doesn't get those nasty tear stains around the eyes. Some will fail here.
(8) Is playful overall, but not all up in my face 24-7. Check.
(9) Doesn't need to be walked 10 miles a day. Check.
(10) Doesn't fart. Biologically impossible, but passes here as much or more than any other breed

basset hound.



Basset hound lab mixes are also good dogs meet most of your requirements.

Oh the bostons tend to have breathing problems and are lazy they don't like to be walked much i personally prefer a more playful hyper dog.

Portuguese Water Dog. Good enough for the prez and Teddy Kenedy, good enough for a schmuck like you.

Not Chihuahuas. They have Susan Sarandon eyes.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2012 03:24AM by Alias.

basset hounds and beagles are bread for their bark just like all of the dogs we have today. if you want a dog that doesnt bark get a wolf. they dont bark, but i dont know how great they will be with kids and all the cows you would have to kill could get a little messy.




good luck with your choice



oops my bad



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/28/2009 10:37PM by bloody blisters.

bloody blisters Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> basset hounds and beagles are bread for their bark
> just like all of the dogs we have today. if you
> want a dog that doesnt bark get a wolf. they dont
> bark, but i dont know how great they will be with
> kids and all the cows you would have to kill could
> get a little messy.
>
>
> here is a website that i think will help your
> decision. i've seen their TV show and they have a
> lot of great information.
>
> good luck with your choice
>
> http://dogs101.com/

Yes thats a good show, but the website you gave is a spam ad site. http://animal.discovery.com/tv/dogs-101/

You can watch them all on youtube also

The best dog you can have

§ Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This may be unrealistic, but I'm looking to buy a
> dog that has the following characteristics:
>
> (1) Doesn't bark much.
> (2) Doesn't shed much.
> (3) Is a hypoallergenic type.
> (4) Won't tear up my house.
> (5) Is medium sized (i.e.: smaller than a
> Labrador, bigger than that rat-looking dog Paris
> Hilton carries around with her).
> (6) Is great with kids.
> (7) Doesn't get those nasty tear stains around the
> eyes.
> (8) Is playful overall, but not all up in my face
> 24-7.
> (9) Doesn't need to be walked 10 miles a day.
> (10) Doesn't fart.
>
> Any suggestions?
>
> Thanks.


Anything that lives does number 10 on your list. If you think otherwise, then you're better off getting a Robo-dog.

I also hope that you're willing to pick-up after your dog when you walk it, and that you properly dispose of such.

bloody blisters Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> basset hounds and beagles are bread for their bark
> just like all of the dogs we have today. if you
> want a dog that doesnt bark get a wolf. they dont
> bark, but i dont know how great they will be with
> kids and all the cows you would have to kill could
> get a little messy.
>
>
>
>
> good luck with your choice
>
>
>
> oops my bad


Yeah, Wolves don't normally bark often, but they do at times. Usually they do a Bark-Howl, which is generally a territorial warning when they see an intruder. My Alaskan Husky does the same thing. LOL, if someone doesn't enjoy barking though, they'll love the Howling.

you cant have your cake and eat it too. if you dont enjoy or at least tolerate dogs barking then you probably shouldnt own a dog.


Huskies scare me, something about their eyes (especially the blue or green) just creeps me out. or maybe it is the fact i was bitten by one as a child im not sure.

§,
   how large is your house/back yard? this is very important when considering what kind of dog to get.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

I'm obviously extremely biased, but my favorite breeds are the ones I've simply happened to own. Let me just give you some of my experiences, in the hope that you can learn from what I've gained in terms of knowledge.

My one grandmother had a Military trained Quebec Husky. It was a Male, around 80 lbs. +, and I can simply say that he was an AMAZING dog. She happened across him by chance when a truck crashed into a vehicle in front of her home. A crate fell off the back, and the Dog came right up to her. She advertised for its owner, and one day some creep came to her door with a freaking cape (Dracula style). The dog gave a guttural growl at him, and she told him that she knew he wasn't the owner, and that was that. She had dogs her entire life, since she could walk at least, and so she knew them better than anyone else I've ever met. She could ID a breed/mix by looks and behavior, and she knew of breeds which you don't even find in standard modern books. This dog was EXTREMELY quiet, and everyone in the family had to work forever to even get an utterance out of him. He also crawled under furniture and obstacles while stalking, and if a potential threat came-up behind my grandma when out walking, he'd turn around and walk backwards with her while facing the threat. One time a neighbor brought my older sister (As a little kid) home after having watched her for the day, and the dog greeted her with tail wags and licks, and let her come right up the steps (Split level home). Then the babysitter tried to come up, and the dog turned to her and bared its teeth in her face. Needless to say, that dog was very, very protective of the little family member. Another time my sis' friend was playing kind of rough with her, so the dog walked up behind her and gave her the slightest pinch on the back. Lol, needless to say the kid jumped, and knocked it off.

My other g-ma had two Boston Terrier mixes, and one of them was passed onto us. Again, an AMAZING dog, about 20 lbs. +, and as with the above dog, extremely loyal and protective. She saved me as a kid quite a few times when I had to deal with groups of neighborhood kids trying to start trouble. She was strong enough that she pulled me flat on my face one time, but I never let go of the leash for fear of having her run away.

Since then, I currently own a Jack Russell Terrier, a Jack Russell/Schnauzer Mix, and an Alaskan Husky.

The JRT is smart as a whip, and she's the pack leader. At only a few months old she would already break out of her cage on a regular basis by flipping the latch. She's an Alpha Dog, and at the park she's the one that the others respect. The rest of the pack at home follows her lead everywhere. The JRT has always been an AMAZING watch dog, and I've actually seen her track a jogger from up the street with the movement of her head (Even though there's a solid wall where she was looking), and as her head moved to the window out front, the jogger appeared at that moment. NOTHING gets by her, and she has a deep bark for her size (12-15 lbs.), and she'll bark constantly and unforgiving at trespassers. She also knows how to Shake hands, Sit, Lay, do the Army Crawl, etc. One time when I first had the Alaskan Husky puppy, the puppy got loose and ran down the stairs out back, but the JRT darted after her and grabbed her by the leash to keep her put.

The JRT/Schnauzer was rescued by my sis in SC. She found a cardboard box next to a Gas Station, and in it she found this brown/black dog crying and trying to get out. She took her home, and after washing her, she realized that the dog was actually white (That's how dirty it was). She's about 11 lbs., and she has a high-pitched bark that I can hear all the way up the street. All of the first warning bark duty has been put onto her now, lol, as happened with each consecutive dog, and she'll be at the window at the slightest noise of a person outside. The other dogs only join in if they feel it necessary.

My Alaskan Husky is an Alaskan Cross with Akita. She's 50 lbs., and Highly territorial. She pulls like an Abrams Tank on High speed, and she has as much energy as the Jack Russell used to (2 yr. old vs. a 7 yr. old). She's guarded me against people a few times on walks, and she's a whole ton of fun (As are all of the dogs). She loves to Howl, and when with the pack, she'll charge anything that moves at night. She's an escape artist as well, and she's backed out of her harness at least four times so far. She is the best listener of the group though, as she doesn't quite have the independent stubbornness of the JRT. She's JRT trained lol. I can tell her "Whoa", and she'll stop pulling, "Wait" and she'll freeze where she is, "Home" and she'll run to the front door. She'll of course also Sit, Lay, Rest at Ease, etc.

All of my dogs are indoor pets, because I never trust leaving a pet outside. This is especially true with escape artists like Huskies and Jack Russells. The three of them together could fight off pretty much anything that they'll encounter around here, but that's beyond the point in my mind.

So if you want a very neat dog, with energy, smarts, protectiveness, and a playful personality, Jack Russells and Huskies are both great breeds/types. They can be vocal, but they're not yappers. In the end though, what matters most is how you raise them. I could take an edgy Rottweiler and raise it to be a docile dog, or I could take a Golden Retriever and make it extremely protective. It's up to you.


If you want to know anything else specifically (Or in regards to dogs generally), just let me know.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/29/2009 12:30AM by ThePackLeader.

bloody blisters Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> you cant have your cake and eat it too. if you
> dont enjoy or at least tolerate dogs barking then
> you probably shouldnt own a dog.
>
>
> Huskies scare me, something about their eyes
> (especially the blue or green) just creeps me out.
> or maybe it is the fact i was bitten by one as a
> child im not sure.


Oh damn, Sorry about that. Your first point is dead on btw, definitely a great point.

Yeah, experiences at a young age can definitely have a very real effect on people and animals. My JRT was taken to a Dog Park as a puppy by a naive family member, and she was placed in with a bunch of big dogs, Well, the dogs decided that she would make a great toy, and they surrounded her (At least a Dozen of them), and then a Dachshund came up and nipped her on the back. My JRT did a somersault and came leaping out of the dog-pile. For the longest time since that point though, she snarled at my neighbor's Dachshund, and she never let's another dog ever try to dominate her, or even bother her bottom. Eventually she met the neighbor's Dachshund though, and fortunately the dog is a lot like her, and has a happy personality, so they really became friends. She still never lets any dogs get the upper hand on her since that experience, and she tries to break-up fights whenever she sees dogs ganging up on another one at the park.

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories and suggestions. To answer a few questions above or add more clarity, please see below:

(1) I do realize that all dogs fart, I just threw that in there for laughs because I had a friend who fed his dog table scraps quite often. The dog would let out a quiet fart, which no one would ever notice until we were all gagging and dry heaving. Something about that dog would make it have the worst smelling "egg" farts, but I'm guessing it was the table scraps.

(2) My home is about 5000 sq. ft including the basement. My backyard isn't terribly large, but there are parks nearby where I could certainly take him/her for walks often. That's why I was thinking a medium-sized dog. I'm not opposed to smaller toy-like dogs, but I don't think I want a super large dog because it would like having a bull in a china shop.

(3) I don't travel too much for work these days, but since I'm at the office from roughly 9am to 7pm, I'd willing to open my home up to a dog walker a couple times a day. I think that's a given, but I'd be open to doing a dog daycare situation that someone at the office told me about. Does anyone have any experiences either way (i.e.: daycare vs. dog walker).

(4) I noticed that the Jack Russells are hypoallergenic and don't shed much, but everywhere I've read, the biggest complaint is the barking. I understand that most all dogs bark, even during thunderstorms or around strangers, but I think it would drive me nuts if a dog barked too often, especially early in the morning or at night.

(5) A friend suggested a poodle mixed with either a Maltese, Cocker Spaniel or Golden Retriever. I don't know how I feel about poodles since I've never know anyone to own one. I understand that they are one of the smartest dog breeds, which I like, I'm just not sure if poodles bring street cred at the dog parks (I'm joking, ofcourse, but poodles remind me of a dog that needs to wear a sweater vest or something, which is not cool).

(6) I'm open to adopting. I just don't want a dog that's older than a few weeks to maybe a couple of months at the most.

Thanks.

breast feeding dogs is controversial but I am for it.

I, personally, think poodles are ugly. But they are good with kids and they can be bad ass. They were originally hunting dogs.

Look at this monster


§ Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> (5) A friend suggested a poodle mixed with either
> a Maltese, Cocker Spaniel or Golden Retriever. I
> don't know how I feel about poodles since I've
> never know anyone to own one. I understand that
> they are one of the smartest dog breeds, which I
> like, I'm just not sure if poodles bring street
> cred at the dog parks (I'm joking, ofcourse, but
> poodles remind me of a dog that needs to wear a
> sweater vest or something, which is not cool).

My Jack Russell sheds a bunch, barks a LOT, needs very long walks and TONS of attention. I don't think a JRT would be what you are looking for.

Pitbull from a GOOD source, extremely loyal, intelligent and mellow. Golden Lab is also great.

I love Pitbulls. I've had a lot of good experiences with them. As long as you don't beat them, starve them, deprive them of light, and/or chain weights to them, they will be as loving and mellow as any other dog.

2 Dollars Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Pitbull from a GOOD source, extremely loyal,
> intelligent and mellow. Golden Lab is also great.

Labradoodle
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/labradoodle.htm

Here is the list:
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/lightshedders.htm

If you can’t model the past, where you know the answer pretty well, how can you model the future? - William Happer Cyrus Fogg Brackett Professor of Physics Princeton University

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I love Pitbulls. I've had a lot of good
> experiences with them. As long as you don't beat
> them, starve them, deprive them of light, and/or
> chain weights to them, they will be as loving and
> mellow as any other dog.

right until they tear your kid's face off.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2012 03:55AM by Alias.

Get a cavalier King charles spaniel.

They only grow to be about 18 - 20 pounds, and they are the most friendly animals you will ever meet.

They can be trained to never bark at a doorbell, and you can train them to sit at the kitchen table during dinner and they will just sit or lie on their own chair while the family eats.

They love everyone, and will never become aggressive towards children, other dogs or any "strangers" who come to visit.

The males are the more laid back, the females can be a bit more active and harder to keep in line, but both love people and obey their masters almost automatically.

Of course, as with any dog, you need to train whatever breed you get using operant conditioning techniques. A place like this will ensure you train your dog properly: http://positivek9training.com/

-----------------------------------------------------------------
The function of conservatives is not to meet every liberal program or scheme with a denunciation or a destructive counterscheme, but rather to weigh its advantages and defects, supporting the first and challenging the second. A declaration of ideological warfare against liberalism is by its nature profoundly unconservative. It meets perceived radicalism with a counterradicalism of its own.

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2012 04:32AM by Alias.

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Sit or lie in their own chair, while the family
> eats." LOL
>
> "The females can be harder to keep in line?"
> Them's fighting words.


Is you a chick?

-----------------------------------------------------------------
The function of conservatives is not to meet every liberal program or scheme with a denunciation or a destructive counterscheme, but rather to weigh its advantages and defects, supporting the first and challenging the second. A declaration of ideological warfare against liberalism is by its nature profoundly unconservative. It meets perceived radicalism with a counterradicalism of its own.

This is the dog you want Vizsla

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vizsla
http://animal.discovery.com/videos/dogs-101-vizsla.html

(1) Doesn't bark much. True
(2) Doesn't shed much. True
(3) Is a hypoallergenic type. True. If you mean for you. The dogs sometimes get allergies
(4) Won't tear up my house. Eh...
(5) Is medium sized (i.e.: smaller than a Labrador, bigger than that rat-looking dog Paris Hilton carries around with her). About the same as Labrador
(6) Is great with kids. True - just not really little kids (might get knocked over)
(7) Doesn't get those nasty tear stains around the eyes. True
(8) Is playful overall, but not all up in my face 24-7. Umm... Will want to sit in your lap 23 hours a day, hence the name 'velcro dogs'
(9) Doesn't need to be walked 10 miles a day. True. You could get by with 9 miles.
(10) Doesn't fart. Keep their diet in check and this won't be a problem. No table scraps.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2009 08:16AM by trogdor!.

4200cc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> basset hound.
>
>
>
> Basset hound lab mixes are also good dogs meet
> most of your requirements.
>
> Oh the bostons tend to have breathing problems and
> are lazy they don't like to be walked much i
> personally prefer a more playful hyper dog.


Hah. I've had bassets all my life, but "doesn't bark?"...You must be deaf.

Arrrrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...........

They do meet a lot of the other criteria (except the shedding).

They won't tear up the house, they can be medium sized, they are fantastic with kids, they are playful, they need to be walked - but not 10 times a day, and they don't fart.

http://www.brood-va.org/

You should consider getting one that talks. They're more fun, trust me.
Attachments:

i had a basset once. Most ridiculous sounding bark ever! And the slobber? holy shit, you need a wet vac!

Doesn't meet all your criteria, obviously--but think GREYHOUND. Quiet, sweet, well-mannered, and a huge couch potato. The only drawback is the leash requirement--you can never walk him without it. Average size is around 80 lbs for a male--females are smaller, but a tad flightier. And the biggest myth-that they need tons of exercise and "let out to run", is bullshit.

______________________________________________
I have had to change the addresses to my retaliatory blogs over half a dozen times.

Don't Greyhounds typically have a lot of health problems when they get older?

fairfaxdude Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Doesn't meet all your criteria, obviously--but
> think GREYHOUND. Quiet, sweet, well-mannered, and
> a huge couch potato. The only drawback is the
> leash requirement--you can never walk him without
> it. Average size is around 80 lbs for a
> male--females are smaller, but a tad flightier.
> And the biggest myth-that they need tons of
> exercise and "let out to run", is bullshit.

Harry, not that I know of. No hip dysplasia, like many popular breeds.

Like most larger dogs, life span is 12-14 years or so.

Greyhounds DO need a vet that's clued in to their unique sensitivity to anesthesia; if improperly administered, it can be fatal. There are plenty in the DC area, though.

______________________________________________
I have had to change the addresses to my retaliatory blogs over half a dozen times.

Ron Burgundy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You should consider getting one that talks.
> They're more fun, trust me.




-----------------------------------------------------------------
The function of conservatives is not to meet every liberal program or scheme with a denunciation or a destructive counterscheme, but rather to weigh its advantages and defects, supporting the first and challenging the second. A declaration of ideological warfare against liberalism is by its nature profoundly unconservative. It meets perceived radicalism with a counterradicalism of its own.

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2012 04:24AM by Alias.

those poor animals.

Why does Alias only post at odd hours? Really weird. Maybe he's a security guard in an unoccupied office building?

Question Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why does Alias only post at odd hours? Really
> weird. Maybe he's a security guard in an
> unoccupied office building?

Said the pot, to the kettle.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
The function of conservatives is not to meet every liberal program or scheme with a denunciation or a destructive counterscheme, but rather to weigh its advantages and defects, supporting the first and challenging the second. A declaration of ideological warfare against liberalism is by its nature profoundly unconservative. It meets perceived radicalism with a counterradicalism of its own.

what's odd to you may not be odd to others

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2012 04:21AM by Alias.

A CAT

You can have my kid sister, she does poop in the house from time to time tho..