Fairfax CRAPS report card
Date: May 16, 2008 12:22PM
Good day all, I am the president of the Fairfax CRAPS. We are an organization APPALLED with the McDonalds CEO's decision that people who live in Herndon should eat at the Herndon McDonalds rather than the higher quality Vienna McDonalds. I present to you this report of McDonalds centers in Fairfax County. All rankings were decided upon by comparing Zagat surveys and average salaries of customers at respective centers.
1. Vienna McDonalds: Ranked as the number 88 McDonalds in the country. Its McGriddle program has done very much to enrich the community over the years. The staff of this McDonalds have higher SAT scores than other McDonalds locations in the area. A+
52. Herndon McDonalds: Only ranked as the number 173 location in the country. Some employees here never even took SATs, and attended only junior colleges. Their refusal to remove the McRib and replace it with the superior McGriddle has caused it to lag behind the other location in the area. Everyone who eats here is a ruffian or a thug. Any parent who takes a kid here should be prosecuted. It is not a safe environment for GT children. They will be raped and assaulted by the undesirables and the riff-raff. This location gets an F.
Thank you for reading my report card. It is based on statistics and is therefore non-biased. I hope you will join with me, and continue to have your kids dine at the Vienna McDonalds rather than the Herndon McDonalds.