Fairfax County General :
Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Warhawk Wrote:
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> Sweet Jesus. I love how the only thing on her face
> that moves is her mouth. The rest of her face is
> like Han Solo in frozen carbonite.
I think she dubbed her voice over, so it gives it a weird vibe.
Lurker. Wrote:
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> Yeah, left and right are old, middle is her new
> look.
Maybe she had a bit of a nose bob. However, you can't fix ugly.
Actually, what you might be seeing is a lighting trick. The overhead light from the sun is going to make her nose look longer because of the shadow it casts. In the middle shot, I wouldn't be surprised if they were lighting her from the front and underneath. This would de-emphasize the nose and soften the wrinkles and crows' feet.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2009 01:35PM by WashingTone Locian.
WashingTone Locian Wrote:
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> Lurker. Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Yeah, left and right are old, middle is her
> new
> > look.
>
>
> Maybe she had a bit of a nose bob. However, you
> can't fix ugly.
>
> Actually, what you might be seeing is a lighting
> trick. The overhead light from the sun is going to
> make her nose look longer because of the shadow it
> casts. In the middle shot, I wouldn't be surprised
> if they were lighting her from the front and
> underneath. This would de-emphasize the nose and
> soften the wrinkles and crows' feet.
I believe it is "you can't fix stupid" - but you can repair ugly
It doesn't matter what she looks like. The woman (?) is pure evil. Koons car dealers are the biggest bunch of crooks in the DC metro area. Please do yourself a favor and take your business elsewhere. Crack dealers and child pornographers are better than Koons employees. Koons staff lies like normal people breath. There is a lot about them on the internet, and most of it is not good. They're lucky people in the DC area usually only stay a few years, because they don't have many repeat customers. Stay away from this awful dealership.
I just realized how much she looks like her father... Shave her head and remove her make-up and it's him. I hope, for her sake, that my daughter inherits none of my structural features.
can anyone find the new Krystal koons spanish tv commercial she plays a soccer ref speaking the bad spanish to a bunch of beaner kids
in constant rotation during world cup games shown on univision
I remember when my friend was pissed off about the fact that they had a giant inflatable gorilla sitting outside their dealership once, given their name "Koons" and all.
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"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).
As creepy as she looks sometimes, I can't help but think she is somewhat attractive. This is especially true during that commercial where she is dressed like a teacher. The one World Cup Univision commercial where she speaks horrible Spanish is just hilarious. I mean at one point at the end, she asks in horribly accented Spanish, "Did you like my Spanish?"
She gives me the creeps, looks like she's been dead for 3 days. Hate the Koons commercials but just can't get away from them, yesterday morning while watching the news the commercial where she's playing with the 'talking tom cat' app came on channel 5 so I changed over to 4... guess what... it was there too. Flip to 7.. ahh news... for 30 seconds and there she is again!! Agghhh.
I was watching a TV ad for Richfield(?) Honda, and a very cute blonde was representing. It crossed my mind that Crystal Koon is a slug in comparison.
Perhaps sales would improve if an actress played Crystal on TV, instead of the real Ms. Koons disturbing presence .
CONTRIBUTING COMMENTS UNDER DIFFERENT ANON-SCREEN NAMES DOES NOT
MAKE YOUR RETARDED OPINION SEEM ANYMORE VALID OR CONVINCING.
NOT TO MENTION, YOU ARE PROBABLY JUST SOME RACIST WELFARE MINORITY
THAT HAS A PROBLEM WITH KOONS FAMILY'S CAR SELLING SUCCESS OR YOU
JUST SIMPLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE FACT THAT CRYSTAL IS A "WHITE" WOMAN.
I just have a problem that the damn bitch is so ugly... Who does her make-up, Raccoons?!
I don't know the first thing about the actual Koons' dealerships, but that doesn't discount how freakishly FUGLY Krystal is! I feel like the majority of people are on this board to talk about just THAT and nothing more!
You don't see the ugly ass Britt kids promo'ing Ford! Because they know they're all ugly!
Whatever2444 Wrote:
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> As creepy as she looks sometimes, I can't help but
> think she is somewhat attractive. This is
> especially true during that commercial where she
> is dressed like a teacher.
+1 to that. The thick-rimmed glasses take the focus away from her honker and her weird eyes. She's fucking smoking in that outfit.
Well, fucking smoking hot for Krystal Koons. I echo the earlier comment about wanting to bang her like a gong.
JKJ Wrote:
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> Crystal Koons is a scary, creepy bitch. Why would
> anyone in their right mind put her on T.V.?
You just have to accept the fact that us straight, heterosexual guys like her. Maybe "Manny, Moe & Jack" from Advanced Auto might be more to your liking.
I got it. Wrote:
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> Trying to think of what this bitch looks like, and
> it dawned on me that she resembles an elf.
just saw her new KIA commercial - CREEPY. There is a moment where her eyes are at it's brightest that makes her look psychotic with i can't describe in words crystal eyes i guess... If the cameraman wasn't creeped out then maybe he needs glasses.
Taylor Wrote:
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> JKJ Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Crystal Koons is a scary, creepy bitch. Why
> would
> > anyone in their right mind put her on T.V.?
>
>
> You just have to accept the fact that us straight,
> heterosexual guys like her. Maybe "Manny, Moe &
> Jack" from Advanced Auto might be more to your
> liking.
Then grow a pair and get a dude's name .... Taylor is a girl's name --- as in Taylor Dayne...
Taylor Wrote:
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> JKJ Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Crystal Koons is a scary, creepy bitch. Why
> would
> > anyone in their right mind put her on T.V.?
>
>
> You just have to accept the fact that us straight,
> heterosexual guys like her. Maybe "Manny, Moe &
> Jack" from Advanced Auto might be more to your
> liking.
Come on, dude. Pep Boys are Manny, Moe & Jack.
I still think Krystal Koons is scary. Who in their right mind would dub a commercial with someone elses voice? Just hire someone to do the spots if you can't speak your own voice in them?
Daveybiy Wrote:
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> A buddy of mine went with her at Loyola (MD)...
> she would suck him off and beg him to stick his
> thumb up her ass...
>
> Classy lady
I would use cucumbers as dildos, while I fingered her ass, while she was blowing me!
In my fantasy I'm her houseboy. She awakes early each day for a long day running the koons empire. She screams my name from the shower, I walk in she is completely nude and soaking wet. She slaps me across the face and says "dick! Now!" I immediately get rock hard and bend her over and fuck her hard. The only problem is that if I cum, I get my credit card and keys to her fleet of luxury vehicles taken away as well as to pool heater turned off for the day. I fuck her into multiple orgasims. Satisfied she goes in to work until 9:00 pm while I fuck around and order shit off amazon. She busts in the door angry and stressed from a full day of dealing with the asshole customers and retarded employees. She immediately accuses me of jerking off while she was away. I insist I wasn't and offer my rock hard cock as evidence. Suspicious, she takes my engorged member deep in her mouth. She demands a thick full load every time and can tell if had already unloaded which results in a very severe punishment. Lucky for me this time, I had endured the full day of blue balls and saved my load as instructed. After about 30 seconds in her mouth I unload a thick choking load down her throat. She spits on to the marble floor and orders me to clean it up and then go get her some Arby's.
Ball joints Wrote:
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> In my fantasy I'm her houseboy. She awakes early
> each day for a long day running the koons empire.
> She screams my name from the shower, I walk in she
> is completely nude and soaking wet. She slaps me
> across the face and says "dick! Now!" I
> immediately get rock hard and bend her over and
> fuck her hard. The only problem is that if I cum,
> I get my credit card and keys to her fleet of
> luxury vehicles taken away as well as to pool
> heater turned off for the day. I fuck her into
> multiple orgasims. Satisfied she goes in to work
> until 9:00 pm while I fuck around and order shit
> off amazon. She busts in the door angry and
> stressed from a full day of dealing with the
> asshole customers and retarded employees. She
> immediately accuses me of jerking off while she
> was away. I insist I wasn't and offer my rock hard
> cock as evidence. Suspicious, she takes my
> engorged member deep in her mouth. She demands a
> thick full load every time and can tell if had
> already unloaded which results in a very severe
> punishment. Lucky for me this time, I had endured
> the full day of blue balls and saved my load as
> instructed. After about 30 seconds in her mouth I
> unload a thick choking load down her throat. She
> spits on to the marble floor and orders me to
> clean it up and then go get her some Arby's.
Now just replace her in that story with Miz and that's probably a more accurate depiction of your wet dreams.
Across the DC area and beyond are reports emerging of an unusual phenomenon referred to as The Long Black Veil, which has been detected on several digital devices, such as computers, cell phones, and televisions. While the cause and nature of this occurrence are still being discussed. Experts are collaborating to ascertain the extent of its Occupation.
ccording to confidential sources, an individual has been identified as the responsible party for posting defamatory content on FairfaxUnderground.com. The repercussions of their actions have resulted in a detrimental impact on the online reputations of at least six individuals. The responsible party will be held accountable for their misconduct in a discreet and appropriate manner. It is imperative to exercise caution when engaging in online communication to avoid similar negative consequences. The legal system will ensure that justice is served, without drawing any undue attention to the situation.