Warhawk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sweet Jesus. I love how the only thing on her face
> that moves is her mouth. The rest of her face is
> like Han Solo in frozen carbonite.
I think she dubbed her voice over, so it gives it a weird vibe.
Lurker. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yeah, left and right are old, middle is her new
> look.
Maybe she had a bit of a nose bob. However, you can't fix ugly.
Actually, what you might be seeing is a lighting trick. The overhead light from the sun is going to make her nose look longer because of the shadow it casts. In the middle shot, I wouldn't be surprised if they were lighting her from the front and underneath. This would de-emphasize the nose and soften the wrinkles and crows' feet.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2009 01:35PM by WashingTone Locian.
WashingTone Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Lurker. Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Yeah, left and right are old, middle is her
> new
> > look.
>
>
> Maybe she had a bit of a nose bob. However, you
> can't fix ugly.
>
> Actually, what you might be seeing is a lighting
> trick. The overhead light from the sun is going to
> make her nose look longer because of the shadow it
> casts. In the middle shot, I wouldn't be surprised
> if they were lighting her from the front and
> underneath. This would de-emphasize the nose and
> soften the wrinkles and crows' feet.
I believe it is "you can't fix stupid" - but you can repair ugly
f-off Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> she's a fem-bot from austin powers
Uhh, Austin Powers got it from the Bionic Woman.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
emily2u
()
Date: October 10, 2009 01:20AM
It doesn't matter what she looks like. The woman (?) is pure evil. Koons car dealers are the biggest bunch of crooks in the DC metro area. Please do yourself a favor and take your business elsewhere. Crack dealers and child pornographers are better than Koons employees. Koons staff lies like normal people breath. There is a lot about them on the internet, and most of it is not good. They're lucky people in the DC area usually only stay a few years, because they don't have many repeat customers. Stay away from this awful dealership.
I just realized how much she looks like her father... Shave her head and remove her make-up and it's him. I hope, for her sake, that my daughter inherits none of my structural features.
can anyone find the new Krystal koons spanish tv commercial she plays a soccer ref speaking the bad spanish to a bunch of beaner kids
in constant rotation during world cup games shown on univision
I remember when my friend was pissed off about the fact that they had a giant inflatable gorilla sitting outside their dealership once, given their name "Koons" and all.
==================================================================================================
"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).
As creepy as she looks sometimes, I can't help but think she is somewhat attractive. This is especially true during that commercial where she is dressed like a teacher. The one World Cup Univision commercial where she speaks horrible Spanish is just hilarious. I mean at one point at the end, she asks in horribly accented Spanish, "Did you like my Spanish?"
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
done with commercials
()
Date: January 26, 2011 08:43AM
Her commercials are so stupid! Take them off the TV, it doesn't make me want to buy anything From her!!!
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Prophetti
()
Date: January 26, 2011 08:56AM
She gives me the creeps, looks like she's been dead for 3 days. Hate the Koons commercials but just can't get away from them, yesterday morning while watching the news the commercial where she's playing with the 'talking tom cat' app came on channel 5 so I changed over to 4... guess what... it was there too. Flip to 7.. ahh news... for 30 seconds and there she is again!! Agghhh.
I was watching a TV ad for Richfield(?) Honda, and a very cute blonde was representing. It crossed my mind that Crystal Koon is a slug in comparison.
Perhaps sales would improve if an actress played Crystal on TV, instead of the real Ms. Koons disturbing presence .
CONTRIBUTING COMMENTS UNDER DIFFERENT ANON-SCREEN NAMES DOES NOT
MAKE YOUR RETARDED OPINION SEEM ANYMORE VALID OR CONVINCING.
NOT TO MENTION, YOU ARE PROBABLY JUST SOME RACIST WELFARE MINORITY
THAT HAS A PROBLEM WITH KOONS FAMILY'S CAR SELLING SUCCESS OR YOU
JUST SIMPLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE FACT THAT CRYSTAL IS A "WHITE" WOMAN.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Hugh Jass
()
Date: March 17, 2011 08:12PM
I just have a problem that the damn bitch is so ugly... Who does her make-up, Raccoons?!
I don't know the first thing about the actual Koons' dealerships, but that doesn't discount how freakishly FUGLY Krystal is! I feel like the majority of people are on this board to talk about just THAT and nothing more!
You don't see the ugly ass Britt kids promo'ing Ford! Because they know they're all ugly!
Whatever2444 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> As creepy as she looks sometimes, I can't help but
> think she is somewhat attractive. This is
> especially true during that commercial where she
> is dressed like a teacher.
+1 to that. The thick-rimmed glasses take the focus away from her honker and her weird eyes. She's fucking smoking in that outfit.
Well, fucking smoking hot for Krystal Koons. I echo the earlier comment about wanting to bang her like a gong.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
hate to say it
()
Date: March 18, 2011 12:55AM
Krystal gets my blood pumping in this picture
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
oc
()
Date: March 18, 2011 07:42AM
Whoa...what are her hands doing in that picture??
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
co()
()
Date: March 19, 2011 12:08AM
oc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Whoa...what are her hands doing in that picture??
I don't know, but it might have something to do with the look of joy and ecstacy on her face.
I bet that's her O face and she's really turning me on in that picture. I'd love to see what's going on under her clothes.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
I would
()
Date: March 19, 2011 08:59PM
She has some new store bought titties, and although I haven't seen that ass, I'd tap it.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
JKJ
()
Date: March 19, 2011 09:05PM
Crystal Koons is a scary, creepy bitch. Why would anyone in their right mind put her on T.V.?
JKJ Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Crystal Koons is a scary, creepy bitch. Why would
> anyone in their right mind put her on T.V.?
You just have to accept the fact that us straight, heterosexual guys like her. Maybe "Manny, Moe & Jack" from Advanced Auto might be more to your liking.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
I got it.
()
Date: March 19, 2011 10:48PM
Trying to think of what this bitch looks like, and it dawned on me that she resembles an elf.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
XWemL
()
Date: March 19, 2011 10:49PM
I got it. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Trying to think of what this bitch looks like, and
> it dawned on me that she resembles an elf.
In your world, elves must be hot.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
ewww
()
Date: February 17, 2013 05:57PM
just saw her new KIA commercial - CREEPY. There is a moment where her eyes are at it's brightest that makes her look psychotic with i can't describe in words crystal eyes i guess... If the cameraman wasn't creeped out then maybe he needs glasses.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Chad d.
()
Date: February 17, 2013 06:07PM
I would eat out her ass.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
M9kY7
()
Date: February 17, 2013 06:17PM
She had Lifestyle Lift
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
nTukx
()
Date: February 17, 2013 06:19PM
Taylor Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> JKJ Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Crystal Koons is a scary, creepy bitch. Why
> would
> > anyone in their right mind put her on T.V.?
>
>
> You just have to accept the fact that us straight,
> heterosexual guys like her. Maybe "Manny, Moe &
> Jack" from Advanced Auto might be more to your
> liking.
Then grow a pair and get a dude's name .... Taylor is a girl's name --- as in Taylor Dayne...
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
JustanFYI
()
Date: February 17, 2013 10:09PM
Good job on the 2yr old thread revival...
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Hugh Heftmore
()
Date: February 17, 2013 11:34PM
Admit it. You've done worse.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
3 faces of Eve and more
()
Date: February 19, 2013 06:52AM
I must give Ms. Krystal kudos for having a sense of humor. Sort of being the butt(watch it) of the joke in the latest commercial.
I still will never go to a Koons dealership cause of all the times I got ripped off by lousy or unnecessary service.
Taylor Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> JKJ Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Crystal Koons is a scary, creepy bitch. Why
> would
> > anyone in their right mind put her on T.V.?
>
>
> You just have to accept the fact that us straight,
> heterosexual guys like her. Maybe "Manny, Moe &
> Jack" from Advanced Auto might be more to your
> liking.
Come on, dude. Pep Boys are Manny, Moe & Jack.
I still think Krystal Koons is scary. Who in their right mind would dub a commercial with someone elses voice? Just hire someone to do the spots if you can't speak your own voice in them?
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
36ety
()
Date: June 26, 2017 10:41PM
emily2u Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It doesn't matter what she looks like.
who are you Hillary Clinton ?
there are very few car commercials in DMV people recall ...
and everyone remembers "Crystal Koons" commercials as well or better than any of the other tops (britt, rosenthal to name two who advertise hard)
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Brick House
()
Date: June 27, 2017 08:26AM
She's too anorexic for my eyes; I have to squint to see her.
Too pubescent.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Daveybiy
()
Date: June 27, 2017 01:49PM
A buddy of mine went with her at Loyola (MD)... she would suck him off and beg him to stick his thumb up her ass...
Classy lady
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
I CAN VOUCH FOR THAT!
()
Date: June 27, 2017 01:59PM
Daveybiy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A buddy of mine went with her at Loyola (MD)...
> she would suck him off and beg him to stick his
> thumb up her ass...
>
> Classy lady
I would use cucumbers as dildos, while I fingered her ass, while she was blowing me!
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
7ktwc
()
Date: June 28, 2017 11:44PM
it seems to me they started off with her "Wow" commercials right?
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Wowzer Bejabbers
()
Date: June 29, 2017 01:20PM
She badly needs a nose job.
And eat a Big Mac or two...anorexia ain't pretty.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Krystal Koons lover
()
Date: July 26, 2017 08:57PM
I love Krystal Koons. She's my favorite car dealer.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Ball joints
()
Date: July 27, 2017 06:11AM
In my fantasy I'm her houseboy. She awakes early each day for a long day running the koons empire. She screams my name from the shower, I walk in she is completely nude and soaking wet. She slaps me across the face and says "dick! Now!" I immediately get rock hard and bend her over and fuck her hard. The only problem is that if I cum, I get my credit card and keys to her fleet of luxury vehicles taken away as well as to pool heater turned off for the day. I fuck her into multiple orgasims. Satisfied she goes in to work until 9:00 pm while I fuck around and order shit off amazon. She busts in the door angry and stressed from a full day of dealing with the asshole customers and retarded employees. She immediately accuses me of jerking off while she was away. I insist I wasn't and offer my rock hard cock as evidence. Suspicious, she takes my engorged member deep in her mouth. She demands a thick full load every time and can tell if had already unloaded which results in a very severe punishment. Lucky for me this time, I had endured the full day of blue balls and saved my load as instructed. After about 30 seconds in her mouth I unload a thick choking load down her throat. She spits on to the marble floor and orders me to clean it up and then go get her some Arby's.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
She was fun to hang with
()
Date: July 27, 2017 06:57AM
She let me eat peanut butter out of her ass when we were younger. Back then she was pretty fun.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Lezzie
()
Date: July 28, 2017 09:07PM
Ball joints Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> In my fantasy I'm her houseboy. She awakes early
> each day for a long day running the koons empire.
> She screams my name from the shower, I walk in she
> is completely nude and soaking wet. She slaps me
> across the face and says "dick! Now!" I
> immediately get rock hard and bend her over and
> fuck her hard. The only problem is that if I cum,
> I get my credit card and keys to her fleet of
> luxury vehicles taken away as well as to pool
> heater turned off for the day. I fuck her into
> multiple orgasims. Satisfied she goes in to work
> until 9:00 pm while I fuck around and order shit
> off amazon. She busts in the door angry and
> stressed from a full day of dealing with the
> asshole customers and retarded employees. She
> immediately accuses me of jerking off while she
> was away. I insist I wasn't and offer my rock hard
> cock as evidence. Suspicious, she takes my
> engorged member deep in her mouth. She demands a
> thick full load every time and can tell if had
> already unloaded which results in a very severe
> punishment. Lucky for me this time, I had endured
> the full day of blue balls and saved my load as
> instructed. After about 30 seconds in her mouth I
> unload a thick choking load down her throat. She
> spits on to the marble floor and orders me to
> clean it up and then go get her some Arby's.
Now just replace her in that story with Miz and that's probably a more accurate depiction of your wet dreams.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Greaseman
()
Date: July 29, 2017 10:21AM
Tune tuna tuna fish fish tuna fish fish tuna fish.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
not me
()
Date: July 29, 2017 01:33PM
auto sales is a tough world - you have to keep up with the jone's
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
py7m4
()
Date: July 29, 2017 01:33PM
even if it hurts !!
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
not me
()
Date: July 29, 2017 01:34PM
^^ car sales lady
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
not me
()
Date: July 31, 2017 11:17PM
was the sales joke that bad
OMG i think i ended the Crystal Koons thread. i'm soooo sorry.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
lOvelight
()
Date: April 08, 2023 01:11PM
Across the DC area and beyond are reports emerging of an unusual phenomenon referred to as The Long Black Veil, which has been detected on several digital devices, such as computers, cell phones, and televisions. While the cause and nature of this occurrence are still being discussed. Experts are collaborating to ascertain the extent of its Occupation.
Re: Crystal Koons New Look
Posted by:
Krawler.io
()
Date: April 13, 2023 09:03AM
ccording to confidential sources, an individual has been identified as the responsible party for posting defamatory content on FairfaxUnderground.com. The repercussions of their actions have resulted in a detrimental impact on the online reputations of at least six individuals. The responsible party will be held accountable for their misconduct in a discreet and appropriate manner. It is imperative to exercise caution when engaging in online communication to avoid similar negative consequences. The legal system will ensure that justice is served, without drawing any undue attention to the situation.