I have a problem. A dog keeps crapping on my yard and other yards in the Vienna general area.

How can I deal with this?

Like this:





Or you could just move.

How much do those cost?

Call Homeland Security

Cool Wrote:
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> How much do those cost?


It depends on the breed and pedigree. Could be as little as $100 to several thousand dollars.

Who do I make the check payable to? Do I need a passport?

Poooo Wrote:
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> I have a problem. A dog keeps crapping on my yard
> and other yards in the Vienna general area.
>
> How can I deal with this?


Move to another country, because the stress you must have could be killing you - I suggest any Asian country. You could then eat dogs, instead of having to put up with their criminal activity.

Just get a BB gun and wait by your front door.

If you live in the Town of Vienna, the Vienna police will stake out your yard to catch the offending dog and owner. This is why you pay so much in Vienna property taxes.

get a security camera - chances are the dog(s) are being walked early in the morning and late at night and the owner is just lazy. Cameras are reasonable and once you get the data you could narrow down the time of infraction and confront them (also working to id them) after that call the cops and have citations issued.

If that doesnt work or if you dont like the direct approach follow them home and smear dog crap all over their doors/cars/cats etc... they will get the point.

This method work for me very well.

I bought a box of Korean red hot pepper at Costco for about 8 bucks. I sprinkle it on my grass and no dogs wants to return ever since.

Try this:

http://www.contech-inc.com/products/home-and-garden-products/animal-repellents/scarecrow-motion-activated-animal-deterrent

This worked great for keeping the deer (hooved rats) away from our stuff.
Attachments:

Poooo Wrote:
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> I have a problem. A dog keeps crapping on my yard
> and other yards in the Vienna general area.
>
> How can I deal with this?


What do you do about the squirrels and birds that crap in your yard?

this sounds like a HATE CRIME...

how do you know its a dog?

Go visit France or Africa. When you see human poop in the streets dog poop won't seem so bad.


Poooo Wrote:
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> I have a problem. A dog keeps crapping on my yard
> and other yards in the Vienna general area.
>
> How can I deal with this?

Maybe it is your next door neighbor who is mad at you because you spend more time on the internet than you do talking to him?

Poooo Wrote:
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> I have a problem. A dog keeps crapping on my yard
> and other yards in the Vienna general area.
>
> How can I deal with this?


Follow him home and crap in his yard.

Curly Wrote:
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> Poooo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I have a problem. A dog keeps crapping on my
> yard
> > and other yards in the Vienna general area.
> >
> > How can I deal with this?
>
>
> Follow him home and crap in his yard.

What legality and paperwork would I need for this procedure?

Simpoly squat in his yard and let fly your faeces. Wear a kilt or man-skirt with no underpants so as not to indecently expose yourself in the process. Defecating is not an crime, unlike public urination.

Here is what is needed to deter any further pooping:

cayenne pepper in the areas the dog targets

Anti-freeze in seveal bowls at the property libe of your yard.

Chocolate

Better Idea Wrote:
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> Anti-freeze in seveal bowls at the property libe
> of your yard.

Very funny, here is an even better idea: I give you an anti-freeze enema, then rip your head off and shit down your neck.

Anyone who kills/abuses a dog like that deserves to die. I don't like dog poop in my yard and I don't even own a dog. But if I ever saw anyone intentionally kill a dog I would do my utmost to eradicate their vile existence from the planet, regardless of the consequences. I'd call the police, shoot you to keep you from fleeing or fighting back, then hack you to bits with a meat cleaver in as painful manner as possible.

another idea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Very funny, here is an even better idea: I give
> you an anti-freeze enema, then rip your head off
> and shit down your neck.
>
> Anyone who kills/abuses a dog like that deserves
> to die. I don't like dog poop in my yard and I
> don't even own a dog. But if I ever saw anyone
> intentionally kill a dog I would do my utmost to
> eradicate their vile existence from the planet,
> regardless of the consequences. I'd call the
> police, shoot you to keep you from fleeing or
> fighting back, then hack you to bits with a meat
> cleaver in as painful manner as possible.


Calm down, Francis.

@Asiano, Gordon: +1

another idea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Very funny, here is an even better idea: I give
> you an anti-freeze enema, then rip your head off
> and shit down your neck.

Let's meet for lunch and discuss. Tell your boss
you won't be back in afterwards as you'll be at the
ER having a boot removed from your ass.

I'll smack you so damn hard your grandkids' ears
will ring.

The anti-freeze works. My neighbor had a pit that used
(key word: "used") to get out occasionally. Problem
solved.

If people took proper care of their dogs, there wouldn't
be the need to have discussions like this.

Hire this guy to take care of the problem:
Attachments:

Better Idea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> another idea Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Very funny, here is an even better idea: I give
> > you an anti-freeze enema, then rip your head
> off
> > and shit down your neck.
>
> Let's meet for lunch and discuss. Tell your boss
> you won't be back in afterwards as you'll be at
> the
> ER having a boot removed from your ass.
>
> I'll smack you so damn hard your grandkids' ears
> will ring.
>
> The anti-freeze works. My neighbor had a pit that
> used
> (key word: "used") to get out occasionally.
> Problem
> solved.
>
> If people took proper care of their dogs, there
> wouldn't
> be the need to have discussions like this.

Haha you don't seem to understand. I literally do not care what happens to me. Tell me your name and address and let me see you intentionally harm an animal. I can guarantee you will not live to do it again.

Start a vegetable garden. Free fertilizer!