Re: Does smoking make anyone else poop?
Posted by:
K4UNX
()
Date: August 09, 2020 11:18PM
Only in the morning. I get up, crack a beer, roll a cig, light it, take 1 drag & suddenly I get the crap motion in my gut. So I fly upstairs pulling down my underwear as I go. I kick up the lid, position & as my butt's dropping on the seat, the crap comes torpedoing out my asshole & splashes loudly in the water. The comes the second wave with those toilet bowl cracking farts that are very loud & smell real bad. One morning, I woke up & there was a summons-to-court for creating a public nuisance. When I went to court, the judge said a neighbor complained about the loud farts & the smell. He let me off, though, since even he admitted when you wake up w/a hangover like I do every day & you eat nothing but pepperoni pizza, steaks, broccoli & strawberries & drink all that beer, shit's gonna' happen, literally.
The HOA tried to get me kicked out, but there was nothing in the rules against farting & crapping as long as you did it in the toilet & not on the street, sidewalk or your lawn. They keep trying to pass a rule about it at their meetings, but those petty tyrants can't agree on anything, so they never get anything done. Bunch of stupid assholes, really.
But I don't care. I trade a few bitcoins when I'm still only 1/2 drunk & it pays the bills pretty good. Other than that, I stay drunk.