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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Black Ice
()
Date: June 20, 2011 08:15AM
Hey all,
I need some advice. My wife and I decided recently that we are going to part ways. We are friendly and it's not going to be a contentious divorce (knock on wood). Unfortunately a child is involved.
We realize we have to separate for 12 months before a divorce can be finalized. So, what I need to know is what the process is? Should we start hiring lawyers? Is there a legit site that has a do-it-yourself separation? We don't want to spend a lot of money on lawyers for this.
Help,
Thanks
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/20/2011 08:15AM by Black Ice.
I need some advice. My wife and I decided recently that we are going to part ways. We are friendly and it's not going to be a contentious divorce (knock on wood). Unfortunately a child is involved.
We realize we have to separate for 12 months before a divorce can be finalized. So, what I need to know is what the process is? Should we start hiring lawyers? Is there a legit site that has a do-it-yourself separation? We don't want to spend a lot of money on lawyers for this.
Help,
Thanks
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/20/2011 08:15AM by Black Ice.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Ye Legal Eagle
()
Date: June 20, 2011 08:58AM
Well,
Either way you both will need to hire lawyers to handle the divorce decree and agreement. This way both of you will have a set agreement, that will reduce any problems (communication between you, custody, visitation, and child support/alimony). Make sure that your lawyer understands that you want to keep this effort, "Friendly".
Virginia: State Divorce Laws
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/virginia.shtml
Virginia Divorce Requirements
http://www.vadivorceonline.com/vapages/Divorce/divorcerequirements.asp
Commonwealth of Virginia
http://www.virginia.gov/cmsportal3/
Either way you both will need to hire lawyers to handle the divorce decree and agreement. This way both of you will have a set agreement, that will reduce any problems (communication between you, custody, visitation, and child support/alimony). Make sure that your lawyer understands that you want to keep this effort, "Friendly".
Virginia: State Divorce Laws
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/virginia.shtml
Virginia Divorce Requirements
http://www.vadivorceonline.com/vapages/Divorce/divorcerequirements.asp
Commonwealth of Virginia
http://www.virginia.gov/cmsportal3/
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
WashingTone-Locian
()
Date: June 20, 2011 09:04AM
It's friendly now. It won't be when money and parental rights start getting parsed out.
There are some conditions during the separation phase that can come back and bite you in the ass during the divorce proceeding (for instance, it's still considered adultery if you start banging some chick while separated). You may at least want to talk to an attorney at this point just to start laying the groundwork.
Do-it-yourself divorce? Er, bad idea.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
There are some conditions during the separation phase that can come back and bite you in the ass during the divorce proceeding (for instance, it's still considered adultery if you start banging some chick while separated). You may at least want to talk to an attorney at this point just to start laying the groundwork.
Do-it-yourself divorce? Er, bad idea.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Ye Legal Eagle
()
Date: June 20, 2011 09:13AM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's friendly now. It won't be when money and
> parental rights start getting parsed out.
>
> There are some conditions during the separation
> phase that can come back and bite you in the ass
> during the divorce proceeding (for instance, it's
> still considered adultery if you start banging
> some chick while separated). You may at least want
> to talk to an attorney at this point just to start
> laying the groundwork.
>
> Do-it-yourself divorce? Er, bad idea.
This is absolutely correct. For this kind of thing you need a lawyer. Putting together a legal document such as a Divorce Decree/Agreement requires a lawyer. Trying to "wing it" on your own is a huge mistake.
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's friendly now. It won't be when money and
> parental rights start getting parsed out.
>
> There are some conditions during the separation
> phase that can come back and bite you in the ass
> during the divorce proceeding (for instance, it's
> still considered adultery if you start banging
> some chick while separated). You may at least want
> to talk to an attorney at this point just to start
> laying the groundwork.
>
> Do-it-yourself divorce? Er, bad idea.
This is absolutely correct. For this kind of thing you need a lawyer. Putting together a legal document such as a Divorce Decree/Agreement requires a lawyer. Trying to "wing it" on your own is a huge mistake.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
teri~
()
Date: June 20, 2011 09:51AM
maybe you two could work things out...
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
average joe
()
Date: June 20, 2011 10:07AM
I "winged it" and things worked out just fine. If you are both mature enough and it will be amicable, the only reason to get lawyers is to have the satisfaction of enriching some random person during your divorce. Drafting these documents is really not all that hard at all.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
WashingTone-Locian
()
Date: June 20, 2011 10:09AM
average joe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I "winged it" and things worked out just fine. If
> you are both mature enough and it will be
> amicable, the only reason to get lawyers is to
> have the satisfaction of enriching some random
> person during your divorce. Drafting these
> documents is really not all that hard at all.
The only person you have control over is you. If the OP feels he has complete control over his wife and her actions, I guess he can try to do it himself. However, I've seen people try the amicable route before. Those who stick to their guns the longest about being "nice" are usually the ones who get fucked over in the end.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
-------------------------------------------------------
> I "winged it" and things worked out just fine. If
> you are both mature enough and it will be
> amicable, the only reason to get lawyers is to
> have the satisfaction of enriching some random
> person during your divorce. Drafting these
> documents is really not all that hard at all.
The only person you have control over is you. If the OP feels he has complete control over his wife and her actions, I guess he can try to do it himself. However, I've seen people try the amicable route before. Those who stick to their guns the longest about being "nice" are usually the ones who get fucked over in the end.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Warhawk
()
Date: June 20, 2011 10:15AM
You could always go to mediation, if you guys are mature enough and sorta have a settlement in mind. You don't need a lawyer for that.
While I think that getting some sound legal advice is good, remember that while a lawyer is fighting "for you", he's also making money. So the longer it drags out, the better for him.
I know one couple that just grew apart, they did it themselves and it was very much like a typical breakup. I know a few others where it was ugly. I hope for all parties it can be peaceful and smooth.
__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.
While I think that getting some sound legal advice is good, remember that while a lawyer is fighting "for you", he's also making money. So the longer it drags out, the better for him.
I know one couple that just grew apart, they did it themselves and it was very much like a typical breakup. I know a few others where it was ugly. I hope for all parties it can be peaceful and smooth.
__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
average joe
()
Date: June 20, 2011 10:17AM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I "winged it" and things worked out just fine.
> If
> > you are both mature enough and it will be
> > amicable, the only reason to get lawyers is to
> > have the satisfaction of enriching some random
> > person during your divorce. Drafting these
> > documents is really not all that hard at all.
>
>
> The only person you have control over is you. If
> the OP feels he has complete control over his wife
> and her actions, I guess he can try to do it
> himself. However, I've seen people try the
> amicable route before. Those who stick to their
> guns the longest about being "nice" are usually
> the ones who get fucked over in the end.
Whatever. I really don't think you know much about what you are talking about and just feel the need to have an opinion just to have one.
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I "winged it" and things worked out just fine.
> If
> > you are both mature enough and it will be
> > amicable, the only reason to get lawyers is to
> > have the satisfaction of enriching some random
> > person during your divorce. Drafting these
> > documents is really not all that hard at all.
>
>
> The only person you have control over is you. If
> the OP feels he has complete control over his wife
> and her actions, I guess he can try to do it
> himself. However, I've seen people try the
> amicable route before. Those who stick to their
> guns the longest about being "nice" are usually
> the ones who get fucked over in the end.
Whatever. I really don't think you know much about what you are talking about and just feel the need to have an opinion just to have one.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
justsayin
()
Date: June 20, 2011 11:13AM
average joe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Whatever. I really don't think you know much
> about what you are talking about and just feel the
> need to have an opinion just to have one.
Awesome post that accomplishes nothing! The poster asked for opinions and he is getting them.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Whatever. I really don't think you know much
> about what you are talking about and just feel the
> need to have an opinion just to have one.
Awesome post that accomplishes nothing! The poster asked for opinions and he is getting them.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
WashingTone-Locian
()
Date: June 20, 2011 11:14AM
average joe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Whatever. I really don't think you know much
> about what you are talking about and just feel the
> need to have an opinion just to have one.
I've had friends and relatives try it both ways. Getting a lawyer first, especially where kids are involved, has always turned out better.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Whatever. I really don't think you know much
> about what you are talking about and just feel the
> need to have an opinion just to have one.
I've had friends and relatives try it both ways. Getting a lawyer first, especially where kids are involved, has always turned out better.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
average joe
()
Date: June 20, 2011 11:20AM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> >
> > Whatever. I really don't think you know much
> > about what you are talking about and just feel
> the
> > need to have an opinion just to have one.
>
>
> I've had friends and relatives try it both ways.
> Getting a lawyer first, especially where kids are
> involved, has always turned out better.
Well, I would say not always. I am happier knowing my children had more resources at their disposal because my ex and I were mature enough to not involve lawyers.
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> >
> > Whatever. I really don't think you know much
> > about what you are talking about and just feel
> the
> > need to have an opinion just to have one.
>
>
> I've had friends and relatives try it both ways.
> Getting a lawyer first, especially where kids are
> involved, has always turned out better.
Well, I would say not always. I am happier knowing my children had more resources at their disposal because my ex and I were mature enough to not involve lawyers.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
average joe
()
Date: June 20, 2011 11:21AM
justsayin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Whatever. I really don't think you know much
> > about what you are talking about and just feel
> the
> > need to have an opinion just to have one.
>
> Awesome post that accomplishes nothing! The
> poster asked for opinions and he is getting them.
Awesome post taht accomplishes nothing. The poster asked for opinions and you are not giving him a thing that is worth a damn.
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Whatever. I really don't think you know much
> > about what you are talking about and just feel
> the
> > need to have an opinion just to have one.
>
> Awesome post that accomplishes nothing! The
> poster asked for opinions and he is getting them.
Awesome post taht accomplishes nothing. The poster asked for opinions and you are not giving him a thing that is worth a damn.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
average joe
()
Date: June 20, 2011 11:35AM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've had friends and relatives try it both ways.
> Getting a lawyer first, especially where kids are
> involved, has always turned out better.
Easy for you to say, since it is taht you have friends, and family that will talk to you.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've had friends and relatives try it both ways.
> Getting a lawyer first, especially where kids are
> involved, has always turned out better.
Easy for you to say, since it is taht you have friends, and family that will talk to you.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
ammo
()
Date: June 20, 2011 11:52AM
lawyer up. Everyone says "were still friends" at the start. But then the DIVORCE starts, trust me, I know.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Bill N
()
Date: June 20, 2011 11:55AM
There is a big difference between "getting a lawyer" who will handle the divorce for you and meeting with a lawyer who can advise you of your rights and the procedures on the other. Mature adults who are willing to try to work for something that is fair for both parties and the children CAN SOMETIMES come up with something that will work. However if you overrate your spouse's ability to be fair to you or if you don't know what you are doing it is easy to make a mistake so great that even the best domestic attorney will find it difficult or even impossible to straighten it out. If you are sure you want to go the DIY route it is far better to spend a little bit of money getting educated first, rather than having to spend a lot more money later on trying to fix a mistake.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
WashingTone-Locian
()
Date: June 20, 2011 12:50PM
ammo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> lawyer up. Everyone says "were still friends" at
> the start. But then the DIVORCE starts, trust
> me, I know.
+1
I've seen trusting people get royally fucked over by their ex-spouses because they tried to be "friends."
A divorce is probably the most important business transaction of your life (and it is a business transaction). Why the hell would you try to save a few bucks by foregoing a lawyer. I have no doubt you will pay a hell of a lot more in the end.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
-------------------------------------------------------
> lawyer up. Everyone says "were still friends" at
> the start. But then the DIVORCE starts, trust
> me, I know.
+1
I've seen trusting people get royally fucked over by their ex-spouses because they tried to be "friends."
A divorce is probably the most important business transaction of your life (and it is a business transaction). Why the hell would you try to save a few bucks by foregoing a lawyer. I have no doubt you will pay a hell of a lot more in the end.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Bill N
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:02PM
ammo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> lawyer up. Everyone says "were still friends" at
> the start. But then the DIVORCE starts, trust
> me, I know.
There is some wisdom to this. Usually the person who says "let's keep this friendly" or who says "don't you trust me" is the person who is trying to take advantage of the other side. If you know what your rights are you will know when the other person is pulling the wool over your eyes. If you haven't taken the trouble to do so at the beginning, it may be too late when you finally realize what "your friend" is doing to you.
-------------------------------------------------------
> lawyer up. Everyone says "were still friends" at
> the start. But then the DIVORCE starts, trust
> me, I know.
There is some wisdom to this. Usually the person who says "let's keep this friendly" or who says "don't you trust me" is the person who is trying to take advantage of the other side. If you know what your rights are you will know when the other person is pulling the wool over your eyes. If you haven't taken the trouble to do so at the beginning, it may be too late when you finally realize what "your friend" is doing to you.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
average joe
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:02PM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ammo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > lawyer up. Everyone says "were still friends"
> at
> > the start. But then the DIVORCE starts, trust
> > me, I know.
>
>
> +1
>
> I've seen trusting people get royally fucked over
> by their ex-spouses because they tried to be
> "friends."
>
> A divorce is probably the most important business
> transaction of your life (and it is a business
> transaction). Why the hell would you try to save a
> few bucks by foregoing a lawyer. I have no doubt
> you will pay a hell of a lot more in the end.
-1
If you and your soon to be ex are not immature petty instigators, there is no need to pay a person to prepare and file readily available documents on your behalf. This Washingtone-Locian person must be a divorce lawyer to keep pushing it so hard. As usual, they are interested in their own economic interests at the expense of everyone elses.
-------------------------------------------------------
> ammo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > lawyer up. Everyone says "were still friends"
> at
> > the start. But then the DIVORCE starts, trust
> > me, I know.
>
>
> +1
>
> I've seen trusting people get royally fucked over
> by their ex-spouses because they tried to be
> "friends."
>
> A divorce is probably the most important business
> transaction of your life (and it is a business
> transaction). Why the hell would you try to save a
> few bucks by foregoing a lawyer. I have no doubt
> you will pay a hell of a lot more in the end.
-1
If you and your soon to be ex are not immature petty instigators, there is no need to pay a person to prepare and file readily available documents on your behalf. This Washingtone-Locian person must be a divorce lawyer to keep pushing it so hard. As usual, they are interested in their own economic interests at the expense of everyone elses.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Ms ProVallone
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:03PM
When I got my divorce, I went through two lawyers. The first one, I let go for I did not think he was doing the job I wanted. The second one, I got my divorce. I got what I wanted. If you think you can be friends when going through a divorce, you're wrong. It does not work. I finally got my divorce when my ex-h was in jail.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Pinhead the Cenobite
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:16PM
Especially with a kid in the picture. Alimony, spousal support, child support.
Way too many factors to deal with a separate no-fault "I go my way, she goes her way" divorce...
-----------------------------------------------
"...your suffering will be legendary even in Hell!"
Way too many factors to deal with a separate no-fault "I go my way, she goes her way" divorce...
-----------------------------------------------
"...your suffering will be legendary even in Hell!"
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
WashingTone-Locian
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:22PM
average joe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> -1
>
> If you and your soon to be ex are not immature
> petty instigators, there is no need to pay a
> person to prepare and file readily available
> documents on your behalf. This Washingtone-Locian
> person must be a divorce lawyer to keep pushing it
> so hard. As usual, they are interested in their
> own economic interests at the expense of everyone
> elses.
Magritte had it figured out. You really don't know people, even those closest to you...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> -1
>
> If you and your soon to be ex are not immature
> petty instigators, there is no need to pay a
> person to prepare and file readily available
> documents on your behalf. This Washingtone-Locian
> person must be a divorce lawyer to keep pushing it
> so hard. As usual, they are interested in their
> own economic interests at the expense of everyone
> elses.
Magritte had it figured out. You really don't know people, even those closest to you...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
average joe
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:23PM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> >
> > -1
> >
> > If you and your soon to be ex are not immature
> > petty instigators, there is no need to pay a
> > person to prepare and file readily available
> > documents on your behalf. This
> Washingtone-Locian
> > person must be a divorce lawyer to keep pushing
> it
> > so hard. As usual, they are interested in
> their
> > own economic interests at the expense of
> everyone
> > elses.
>
>
> Magritte had it figured out. You really don't know
> people, even those closest to you...
Worked out just fine for me.
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> >
> > -1
> >
> > If you and your soon to be ex are not immature
> > petty instigators, there is no need to pay a
> > person to prepare and file readily available
> > documents on your behalf. This
> Washingtone-Locian
> > person must be a divorce lawyer to keep pushing
> it
> > so hard. As usual, they are interested in
> their
> > own economic interests at the expense of
> everyone
> > elses.
>
>
> Magritte had it figured out. You really don't know
> people, even those closest to you...
Worked out just fine for me.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
WashingTone-Locian
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:25PM
average joe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >
> > Magritte had it figured out. You really don't
> know
> > people, even those closest to you...
>
> Worked out just fine for me.
So who has the kids. You or your spouse? How old are your kids? Who is paying for college?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
-------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >
> > Magritte had it figured out. You really don't
> know
> > people, even those closest to you...
>
> Worked out just fine for me.
So who has the kids. You or your spouse? How old are your kids? Who is paying for college?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
average joe
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:27PM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> > >
> > >
> > > Magritte had it figured out. You really don't
> > know
> > > people, even those closest to you...
> >
> > Worked out just fine for me.
>
>
> So who has the kids. You or your spouse? How old
> are your kids? Who is paying for college?
Why all the personal questions?
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> > >
> > >
> > > Magritte had it figured out. You really don't
> > know
> > > people, even those closest to you...
> >
> > Worked out just fine for me.
>
>
> So who has the kids. You or your spouse? How old
> are your kids? Who is paying for college?
Why all the personal questions?
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
WashingTone-Locian
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:30PM
average joe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > So who has the kids. You or your spouse? How
> old
> > are your kids? Who is paying for college?
>
> Why all the personal questions?
Just wondering how long before you realize you are screwed over something important.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
-------------------------------------------------------
> > So who has the kids. You or your spouse? How
> old
> > are your kids? Who is paying for college?
>
> Why all the personal questions?
Just wondering how long before you realize you are screwed over something important.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
average joe
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:32PM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> > > So who has the kids. You or your spouse? How
> > old
> > > are your kids? Who is paying for college?
> >
> > Why all the personal questions?
>
>
> Just wondering how long before you realize you are
> screwed over something important.
I wasn't screwed at all. Having a dry run with clients?
-------------------------------------------------------
> average joe Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> > > So who has the kids. You or your spouse? How
> > old
> > > are your kids? Who is paying for college?
> >
> > Why all the personal questions?
>
>
> Just wondering how long before you realize you are
> screwed over something important.
I wasn't screwed at all. Having a dry run with clients?
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Warhawk
()
Date: June 20, 2011 01:57PM
Just kill her and all of these potential problems are solved.
__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.
__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
hoocoodanode
()
Date: June 20, 2011 02:39PM
You may be friendly now, but as others have written, it can change. Do you like your wife's friends? All it takes is one to put a bug in her ear about taking you to the cleaners.
Also, if there are any debts in your name don't trust her to pay them, no matter what kind of agreement you guys come up with. If the bill is in your name, you are responsible. If she stops paying, the creditors are coming after you.
Also, if there are any debts in your name don't trust her to pay them, no matter what kind of agreement you guys come up with. If the bill is in your name, you are responsible. If she stops paying, the creditors are coming after you.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
496
()
Date: June 20, 2011 03:02PM
That bitch will try and fuck you over. Take it to the bank.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
More Complete
()
Date: June 20, 2011 05:58PM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So who has the kids. You or your spouse? How old
> are your kids? Who is paying for college?
Maybe he doesn't care about his kids.
-------------------------------------------------------
> So who has the kids. You or your spouse? How old
> are your kids? Who is paying for college?
Maybe he doesn't care about his kids.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
LastLaugh
()
Date: June 20, 2011 06:14PM
Warhawk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just kill her and all of these potential problems
> are solved.
+1
I had to hire a lawyer in Maryland and another in Minnesota. Bitch
tried to skin me alive despite her promises to "be nice". When
her lawyer started telling her all the things she could go after
she turned Jekyll and Hyde on me. Went after my retirement, you
name it. I got the last laugh though. When she quit her government
job in DC and went back to Minnesota she cashed in her retirement
and bought a new car. "Forgot" to get insurance. Went to happy
hour with new co-workers and got really drunk. Parking lot froze
over and new car slid down hill into 10' ditch and was totaled. She
had no idea. Cops came and asked, "Who owns this car?". She
went outside and identified car. Cops not happy and gave her
citation for some kind of DUI even though she wasn't operating it
at the time. Retirement gone. Car gone. New co-workers think she's
nuts and now she has DUI on record for any car insurance companies.
Then she calls me and wants to get back together but didn't
tell me about problems. I smelled rat big time. Found out two
years later after I'd remarried. This time to smart woman. Happy life
now. Get a lawyer now if you're smart. Don't listen to what Army
calls "Latrine Lawyers" on message boards.:)
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just kill her and all of these potential problems
> are solved.
+1
I had to hire a lawyer in Maryland and another in Minnesota. Bitch
tried to skin me alive despite her promises to "be nice". When
her lawyer started telling her all the things she could go after
she turned Jekyll and Hyde on me. Went after my retirement, you
name it. I got the last laugh though. When she quit her government
job in DC and went back to Minnesota she cashed in her retirement
and bought a new car. "Forgot" to get insurance. Went to happy
hour with new co-workers and got really drunk. Parking lot froze
over and new car slid down hill into 10' ditch and was totaled. She
had no idea. Cops came and asked, "Who owns this car?". She
went outside and identified car. Cops not happy and gave her
citation for some kind of DUI even though she wasn't operating it
at the time. Retirement gone. Car gone. New co-workers think she's
nuts and now she has DUI on record for any car insurance companies.
Then she calls me and wants to get back together but didn't
tell me about problems. I smelled rat big time. Found out two
years later after I'd remarried. This time to smart woman. Happy life
now. Get a lawyer now if you're smart. Don't listen to what Army
calls "Latrine Lawyers" on message boards.:)
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
wnrsm
()
Date: June 20, 2011 10:20PM
Get a lawyer. Even if you all can work it out, the lawyer will know all the questions to ask and all the things to include. It is much more professional when this is being done by a third party - especially when the complete reality of splitting up child daily care and financial responsibility are being realized.
I did a somewhat-DIY divorce many years ago. It is so much easier without kids or assets... or much debt. When she decided to move out, I was barely making the house payment on my own and she wanted to stick me with the car payment too. I got all friendly with her, got the car refinanced in her name alone and got her set up in an apartment she could afford so that she wouldn't need anything from me. We broke clean and she was self supportive - but I knew she wouldn't hold it for long. I kept full records of the split assets and debt (upside down house at the time, but not by much) - and she got out way ahead.
She filed for divorce. I asked her to follow through because, as a defendant, I'm not the one taking the action. She was overwhelmed with her already-fucked-up life and told me to do it myself if I wanted it done. Fast forward a year later, she's all bothered to get it done ASAP so her shotgun wedding would be legal. I only had to spend about $1,500 for some boilerplate legal documents and some minor guidance, but it was a lot for me at the time. Worth every penny.
The point of the story is this: Things always change. Today's agreement (based on best of intentions) that only gets a legal divorce in place becomes tomorrow's big fucking headache if things get the least bit stupid. And they will get stupid with a child involved. It could be either or both of you remarrying, or one of you ends up with a boyfriend/girlfriend that the other parent does not want around the kid. Then orthodontia and school clothes come along and one of you aren't pulling their weight because of some stupid bullshit excuse. Sooner or later, someone is going to feel like they're getting cheated.
Get it done right. Neither of you knows what the future holds, but you'll have to put up with each other forever as long as your kid is alive and doing things like school, graduating, getting married and having their own kids.
Oh yea... keep all of your shiz low-key until it is all finalized. I'm not talking about being deceptive. Just keep the same thing going and don't rock the boat. I'm sure neither of you want to hear how the other is getting all kinds of action and is soooo much happier now that they're free.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/20/2011 10:24PM by wnrsm.
I did a somewhat-DIY divorce many years ago. It is so much easier without kids or assets... or much debt. When she decided to move out, I was barely making the house payment on my own and she wanted to stick me with the car payment too. I got all friendly with her, got the car refinanced in her name alone and got her set up in an apartment she could afford so that she wouldn't need anything from me. We broke clean and she was self supportive - but I knew she wouldn't hold it for long. I kept full records of the split assets and debt (upside down house at the time, but not by much) - and she got out way ahead.
She filed for divorce. I asked her to follow through because, as a defendant, I'm not the one taking the action. She was overwhelmed with her already-fucked-up life and told me to do it myself if I wanted it done. Fast forward a year later, she's all bothered to get it done ASAP so her shotgun wedding would be legal. I only had to spend about $1,500 for some boilerplate legal documents and some minor guidance, but it was a lot for me at the time. Worth every penny.
The point of the story is this: Things always change. Today's agreement (based on best of intentions) that only gets a legal divorce in place becomes tomorrow's big fucking headache if things get the least bit stupid. And they will get stupid with a child involved. It could be either or both of you remarrying, or one of you ends up with a boyfriend/girlfriend that the other parent does not want around the kid. Then orthodontia and school clothes come along and one of you aren't pulling their weight because of some stupid bullshit excuse. Sooner or later, someone is going to feel like they're getting cheated.
Get it done right. Neither of you knows what the future holds, but you'll have to put up with each other forever as long as your kid is alive and doing things like school, graduating, getting married and having their own kids.
Oh yea... keep all of your shiz low-key until it is all finalized. I'm not talking about being deceptive. Just keep the same thing going and don't rock the boat. I'm sure neither of you want to hear how the other is getting all kinds of action and is soooo much happier now that they're free.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/20/2011 10:24PM by wnrsm.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
average joe
()
Date: June 21, 2011 08:05AM
I didnt get a lawyer and everything worked fine, waste of money. if it wokred for me than it can work for you.
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Posted from Fairfax County Library 233 station 7A
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Posted from Fairfax County Library 233 station 7A
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Black Ice
()
Date: June 21, 2011 09:52AM
Where can I get separation papers. we are fairfax county residents.
Thank you for all the responses. Most were helpful.
Thank you for all the responses. Most were helpful.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
just me
()
Date: June 21, 2011 10:07AM
Black Ice try this site to give you some hints.
http://www.ehow.com/how_5130834_write-marriage-separation-papers.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_5130834_write-marriage-separation-papers.html
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Black Ice
()
Date: June 21, 2011 12:51PM
There's no court i just go to and fill out paper work?
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
Bill N
()
Date: June 21, 2011 03:21PM
@BlackIce I cannot say this strongly enough, but...DO NOT TRY TO HANDLE YOUR DIVORCE YOURSELF AT THIS TIME. If you believe it is possible to use any off the shelf separation agreement, and if you do not know the procedures that you will need to follow in order to get a divorce, then you are probably not well enough informed at this time to handle a divorce on your own. If you won't at least spend a little money to have one meeting with a lawyer to review your situation and give you basic information on Virginia divorce procedures, then at least invest a few evenings reading materials on Virginia divorce laws and procedures that you can pick up at your local library or perhaps at the local courthouse. There are some good divorce websites, but there is also alot of garbage on the web. If you don't know the basics about Virginia divorce laws and procedures then you do not know enough to determine whether you can handle your divorce on your own.
It takes far less time and money to do it right the first time then it does to try to undo serious mistakes that you make because you were uninformed. This applies as much to getting divorced as it does to undertaking home construction projects or car repairs.
It takes far less time and money to do it right the first time then it does to try to undo serious mistakes that you make because you were uninformed. This applies as much to getting divorced as it does to undertaking home construction projects or car repairs.
Re: Separation/Divorce
Posted by:
John Doe
()
Date: June 21, 2011 05:54PM