from the Associated Press:

Beloved Forum Poster and All-Around Good Guy, Mr. Misery, Passes Away at age 27
-Dirk Danger for the Associated Press

Mr. Misery was loved. No, he was more than loved. He was be-loved. As his good buddy Harry Tuttle once remarked, "Mr. Misery is like a box of condoms....you never know which one you're gonna get". News of his death today at his palatial Hollywood Hills home has sent shockwaves through the Fairfax Underground community. Misery, born Louie B. Oppenheimer, rose to fame and sex symbol status at the tender age of 38, when a young Eesh "Tex" Lipshitz discovered him on Youtube and made him the latest tween singing star. At age 22, Misery broke his contract with Eesh "Tex" Lipshitz and went to work for Tuttle Industries, where he would quickly rise to fame and fortune as the world's most flamboyant haberdasher. Misery died Sunday night when his ex-wife, Teri Huttle Misery, stabbed him to death with an ice pick. He is survived by his son, Reynold, who contrary to popular belief, is still alive and plotting his revenge against Eesh "Tex" Lipshitz, also known as "Fat Hands".
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More hypocrisy from the Tea Party:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_exclusive/20101202/pl_yblog_exclusive/anti-earmark-tea-party-caucus-takes-1-billion-in-earmarks

Members of the Congressional Tea Party Caucus may tout their commitment to cutting government spending now, but they used the 111th Congress to request hundreds of earmarks that, taken cumulatively, added more than $1 billion to the federal budget.

According to a Hotline review of records compiled by Citizens Against Government Waste, the 52 members of the caucus, which pledges to cut spending and reduce the size of government, requested a total of 764 earmarks valued at $1,049,783,150 during Fiscal Year 2010, the last year for which records are available.

Proof that, no matter how dumb we think politicians are, they're still smart enough to take advantage of a bunch of slack-jawed mouth breathers.

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13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

I can't believe they cesured good ole Charlie Rangel:

Charles Rangel censure vote: Five others the House has slapped down
Rep. Charles Rangel (D) of New York on Thursday may become the 23rd House member to be censured by his colleagues, in the history of the institution. For lawmakers who break the rules, censure is one of the punishment options specified in the US Constitution (the others are expulsion, reprimand, or a fine). A public verbal rebuke from the House speaker is usually the outcome of a censure vote – humiliating, yes, but much less draconian than expulsion.

Mr. Rangel is in trouble for 11 ethics violations related to his personal finances and fundraising efforts for a New York college. A censure vote has not occurred in the House in 27 years. Here are the five congressmen censured most recently, for matters ranging from fraud to sexual misconduct to “unparliamentary language.â€

- Sara Afzal, Contributor

The House voted to censure Rep. Daniel Crane (R) of Illinois for sexual misconduct involving a 17-year-old congressional page. The House Ethics Committee had initially recommended a reprimand, but many felt his behavior warranted harsher punishment. The vote in favor of censure, on July 20, 1983, was 421 to 3. Mr. Crane apologized for his actions. “I’m sorry that I made a mistake,†he said. “I’m human, and in no way did I violate my oath of office.â€

Crane lost his next bid for reelection in 1984. The congressional page program was also more closely monitored.

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Wow, check it out--Bristol slammed Keith Olbermann on her Facebook page today!


Bristol Palin has used her Facebook page to hit back at MSNBC's Keith Olbermann for his Monday night declaration that the eldest Palin daughter was his "Worst Person in the World."


Olbermann was criticizing Palin, who is a teenage mother, for her role as an abstinence advocate.


Proving herself a surprising wordsmith, Palin wrote, "Accusing me of hypocrisy is by now, an old canard. What Mr. Olbermann lacks in originality he makes up for with insincere incredulity. Mr. Olbermann fails to understand that in order to have credibility as a spokesperson, it sometimes takes a person who has made mistakes."


She continues: "I have never claimed to be perfect. If that makes me the 'worst person in the world' to Mr. Olbermann, then I must apologize for not being absolutely faultless like he undoubtedly must be."


Olbermann's comment that Palin's safe-sex PSA with Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino of "Jersey Shore" seemed like "a spoof done by The Onion" went unmentioned in Palin's retort.

RIP mr M

Mr. Misery was a quietly brilliant man who, at age 63, died way before his time. As President and CEO of Tuttle Industries, Mr. Misery (Miz, as I endearingly referred to him) was far more than just a revenue stream for me, he was also a deer friend... One of the family.

It is only appropriate that his obituary was written by someone as brilliant as the great man that was Misery.

There will be a Rosary tonight, at 8:00 at Everly. Everyone that knew Miz, would know that he was a deeply religious man. His dying wishes were that Numbers lead the service.

Join us after the service, at the Tuttle Estate, for sushi and alcoholic beverages... This is a BYOP event...

Mr. Misery's metallic legs, as well as his metallic dogs, will be bronzed and erected in the main lobby of the Tuttle Industries Tower. They will serve as a symbol for the way Mr. Misery has influenced each and every one of us.

Fear not, Miz fans, Tuttle Industries is the current owner of all of the intellectual property that Miz has left behind. We have found boxes of doodle books, some novels... including the bone-chilling conclusion to Murder at the Superbowl... even a video and audio journal. We will be releasing the Collector's Box-Set just in time for the holidays. Buy your dad the gift that he's only dreamed about for a price that won't break the bank.

I apologize for any typos or syntax errors in the above release. I was eating a Frito pie as I was typing this...

I am actually still eating the Frito pie..

God Bless.... and Don't Mess...

Signatures are for fags



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/02/2010 06:49PM by Harry Tuttle.
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true dat, tuttles. i remembers whens mistas miseries taughts me hows to smokes a turkey. he taughts me hows to uses the rights woods chips, for just the rights tastes of the turkeys. safe homes, mistas misteries.

For youz who dident knOw MrMisery, u shuln't be talkin shit. We all maak mistaikes and he just made one that coost himm evrything. soo STFU! RIP brah.

__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.

Voter____ Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wow, check it out--Bristol slammed Keith Olbermann
> on her Facebook page today!
>
>
> Bristol Palin has used her Facebook page to hit
> back at MSNBC's Keith Olbermann for his Monday
> night declaration that the eldest Palin daughter
> was his "Worst Person in the World."
>
>
> Olbermann was criticizing Palin, who is a teenage
> mother, for her role as an abstinence advocate.
>
>
> Proving herself a surprising wordsmith, Palin
> wrote, "Accusing me of hypocrisy is by now, an old
> canard. What Mr. Olbermann lacks in originality he
> makes up for with insincere incredulity. Mr.
> Olbermann fails to understand that in order to
> have credibility as a spokesperson, it sometimes
> takes a person who has made mistakes."
>
>
> She continues: "I have never claimed to be
> perfect. If that makes me the 'worst person in the
> world' to Mr. Olbermann, then I must apologize for
> not being absolutely faultless like he undoubtedly
> must be."
>
>
> Olbermann's comment that Palin's safe-sex PSA with
> Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino of "Jersey Shore"
> seemed like "a spoof done by The Onion" went
> unmentioned in Palin's retort.


Stay on topic, this is about our long departed, Mr Misery, not Bristol Palin.

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I think Mr, Misery is 25 not 58. Way too young to die. Harry, Where is the cat?

Yo Mr. Miserry aka Street Wize, rest in peace hommie. You'll be missed. Ffu is now empty without u, cuz u use to put a smile in everybody face. Even tha haterz miss u.

damn. now I wish I'd played this out longer.

Another squandered opportunity..

You need to learn the virtue of patience...

BTB, was that you behind the obituary? It seemed TOO much like you to actually be you...

If you know what I mean...

I had suspected a more sinister force at work...

Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> damn. now I wish I'd played this out longer.

Signatures are for fags

thank god for you, Harry. Yes, I am Mr. Missouri. I was also Chippy, Spooky, the goast of Mr. Misery, and probabobly a few others.

though I am in fact alive, Harry, I am genuinininely afreaid I might die.......soon. I can't eat. I can't sleep. My hair is falling out. It's all coming down, brother.

Ha! You're Chippy? I thought it was the original Chippy being silly...

I was Raisin "Two Scoops" Bran and licky splitz...

It really seemed like more people involved... I was proud to be in on the gag... But now I realize it was just you and I jerking each other off...

Still fun though...

Why can't you eat/sleep? Are you stressed out, buuuuddddyyy?

Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> thank god for you, Harry. Yes, I am Mr. Missouri.
> I was also Chippy, Spooky, the goast of Mr.
> Misery, and probabobly a few others.
>
> though I am in fact alive, Harry, I am
> genuinininely afreaid I might die.......soon. I
> can't eat. I can't sleep. My hair is falling out.
> It's all coming down, brother.

Signatures are for fags

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ha! You're Chippy? I thought it was the original
> Chippy being silly...
>
> I was Raisin "Two Scoops" Bran and licky
> splitz...
>
> It really seemed like more people involved... I
> was proud to be in on the gag... But now I realize
> it was just you and I jerking each other off...
>
> Still fun though...
>
> Why can't you eat/sleep? Are you stressed out,
> buuuuddddyyy?
>

got the final word on my payday. it's looking more and more like a Fifth Alveneu Bar now. I got scrieowed, Harry. Srewed. I'm gononna lose my leg.....at some point in the fouture, when I need a new hiop and can't pay for it. GOodby lege. Two yearos, ten yearos, fifteens years.....no one knows for sure.....but the leg is going, at some point. barely enought to pay the already outstainding medical bills. that's it. tossed my saldad. we're straight.

Wow... The metal legs make sense now... I'm sorry dood... Why couldn't your lawyers at least get enough to cover medical expenses? That's bullshit.

Everything can still be ok, pal... It's not too late...

Stash that fifth alveneu bar and sit on it for a while... Fifth Aves are pretty tasty, rite?

I don't know exactly how much a fifth alveneu bar is... but it could probably come in handy if you start managing your money...

Signatures are for fags

Hmm, this is interesting: it appears that Sarah Palin's daughter's names are becoming popular as new baby names this year...


The power of the Palins: Turns out it’s not limited to nabbing invitations to rumba on “Dancing With the Stars.†The famous Alaskan clan also influenced what new parents named their babies this year.


According to BabyCenter, a global interactive parenting network, the names Bristol, Willow and Piper (the names of the three Palin daughters) saw a big surge in popularity in 2010.


“Piper is No.101 on the list, up 12 percent from last year. One more point and it would have been on our top 100,†BabyCenter's editor in chief, Linda Murray, told POLITICO in an interview. “She is the breakout star of the three names.â€


While the name Bristol, the most obscure of the three, is much lower on the list at No. 532, it jumped 18 percent from its position last year. And Willow had almost as big a leap, landing at No. 245 with a 16 percent rise. (The name Willow could have also had a helping hand from Willow Smith, the tiny, hair-whipping, singing offspring of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith.)


BabyCenter doesn’t wait for the Social Security Administration to put out its list of popular newborn names in mid-2011; it uses its own database of names submitted by new parents.


“Seventy-eight percent of moms in the U.S. are registered with us,†said Murray. “There are over 350,000 names on that list, and they are statistically accurate and diverse.†BabyCenter has been compiling its list of most-popular names for 10 years, and Murray told POLITICO that it does compare its list to the Social Security Administration’s list and it generally holds up, even the spellings.


While the Palin girls made waves with their unique names, the Palin men did not make the same splash this year. “I think her boy names are so unique,†said Murray of Track and Trig, the Palin boys. “They are well below the 5,000 mark on our list.†Even Todd, a relatively common name, had a decline in popularity –moving from No. 12,077 to 12,946.


But what about Mama Grizzly herself? Her name fell 23 percent in popularity, a phenomenon that Murray says is very normal: “It’s not so unusual that Sarah is on the decline. We often find that the celebrity name is less interesting than what they name their children. We don’t see a lot of Oprahs, Mariahs, Madonnas or Baracks.â€


Murray says that when Obama was first elected, his daughters’ names, Sasha and Malia, rose significantly, as did other presidents’ daughters’ names, too. “Chelsea Clinton’s name was very popular,†said Murray. “Jenna was popular during the Bush years … until she had those problems in high school. It does reflect a person’s popularity.â€


Besides the Palins, who else has a name that’s all the rage? “We did look more carefully for a tea party effect,†said Murray. “We saw Glenn [as in Glenn Beck] on the rise, but there were not enough names there for a big tea party effect.†The name Glenn rose 14 percent up to No. 953 and Carly (as in Fiorina) rose 21 percent.


Murray said that the tea party also did not seem to inspire a spike in patriotic names, like Liberty or America – she said that those types of names grow more popular during “war years.†Instead, 2010 names proved to be more tied to the national economy than the flag-waving.


“We did see a bunch of names that felt related to the economy, like Fortune and Cashton, which sounded money-related to us,†said Murray, who added that one rapidly rising boys’ name is Bentley, as in the luxurious cars. “I think sometimes in economic downturns, people are inspired to give their kids names that will bring them riches.†(Bentley was also the name of one of the children featured on the popular MTV show “Teen Mom.â€)


A few other names of interest before we reveal the big winners for 2010: Michelle (as in Obama) was up 10 percent, while Sasha fell 15 percent and Malia dropped a whopping 51 percent. BabyCenter also looked at the Supreme Court, with Elena (as in Kagan) rising 22 percent and Sonia (as in Sotomayor) falling 24 percent. But Palin family baby daddy/nemesis Levi Johnston beat them all, making the top 100 at No. 74 for boys.


And now for the big winners of 2010: Taking the top slot for girls was Sophia, while Aiden (like the sensitive furniture-maker from “Sex and the Cityâ€) was king of the boys’ names.

Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> got the final word on my payday.... barely enought to pay the already
> outstainding medical bills. that's it.

nigga... wtf? ur lawyer sucks.
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