Why is it considered rude to discuss bowels at the dinner table? Are your elbows or knees an issue while sharing a family meal? Your angina pains from cardiovascular problems? Not at all, but God forbid you discuss your colon or starfish when asking for someone to pass the potatoes. An unfortunate truth at Rotary meetings.

om assuming someone was offended by your scatological musings while trying to consume a meal and told you to stop and eye would have to agree with them

not proper dinnertime conversation

Bowels are a fine topic for dinner table conversation. It is appropriate to offer compliments when a dinner guest produces a particularly nice deuce. Nevertheless loud cheering, whistling, or excessive applause at the table is considered rude when a fellow diner drops a nice deuce on a plate.

Exercise care when making comparisons with animals, as some Brothers in Bowels (BiB's) take offense at having their turds compared to rabbit pellets or elephant shits.

It would be extremely rude to NOT offer compliments. Bowels appreciation is tres important.

the real General Mahdi Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> om assuming someone was offended by your
> scatological musings while trying to consume a
> meal and told you to stop and eye would have to
> agree with them
>
> not proper dinnertime conversation


Perhaps you could be correct. Although if I meet President Trump, to be polite like he is I’ll first inquire about his bowels. Also wonder if his golden groan throne is comfortable.

I hope one day as a species we can evolve enough, to discuss our colons, as we dine on steak or pheasant, with vegetables on the side. All of us have hearts, lungs, and ligaments. These are acceptable, but God forbid if one brings up their IBS.

How are your bowels by the way? My apologies for not asking. My hope is one day the Bristol Stool Guide can be everywhere.

I think my intestines are passing Burt Lancaster, with Lawrence Welk playing music in my bowels. Also it is possible a 1950’s record player will be going through what’s left if my starfish.

Chateau L'Oignon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It would be extremely rude to NOT offer
> compliments. Bowels appreciation is tres
> important.

That dish looks amazing and it probably smells divine!

I am going to give up my healthy diet and go to Tippys Taco tomorrow. My bowels can handle it.

Today it’s little Caesars time. Take that bowels

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why is it considered rude to discuss bowels at the
> dinner table?


Please accept our apologies Brown. It wasn't bowels, but the context of the story that inspired the statement about being "rude".

The back story is that on Friday during dinner with several of the Brothers in Bowels (BiB's), Brown Onion made a comment about the taste of my bowels, which he intended as a compliment. Pearl Onion was at the table and remarked "that was rude", jealous that another man had been tonguing her boyfriend's asshole without her knowledge. Pearl was gloomy the rest of the meal; she asked me to drive her home and sadly we missed the scat play session.

In fact it was just a misunderstanding because Pearl Onion thought the ass-eating session had taken place that same day when in fact it was weeks ago. Pearl Onion has apologized and she has been saving her poops all weekend to spread over Brown Onion's naked body as we work a Louisville Slugger up Brown's colon. She has other anal delights planned as well...

thats one thing eye like about you Mr. Onion

you don't stand on whut eye would deem erroneous points or overly offensive comments...you are willing to question if you are wrong....a true scientific mind has to always do that...

being brought up in the culture of the USA, thanks largely to television, om desensitized, so eye could certainly talk about bowel health during a meal...eye don't eat shit, metaphorically or otherwise, so eye know the food om munching on isn't shit....eye think a lot of people eat shitty food, so they can't talk about bowel health when they eat....

eye used to get grossed out when eye ate...when eye was little eye didn't like sphaghetti, especially after eye ceen the boy eat that worm at that playground at Mason District park when eye was little, because it looked like worms..

but after eye became vegan, eye could eat a meal and talk about blood and guts and whutever cuz eye ain't eatin' no blood and cuts....mmm kuy?


but people are at different ages and stages....eating a meal with people is like going across a river on a barge, we want to help everyone get to the other side without barfing

but peace to the good brother Donald J Trump...one of the greatest patriots to the Continent of the Americas, right up there with Fidel Castro and Che Guevara

Thanks for the explanation Brother Maui. Nothing sounded rude to me, and I know Brown is not a rude person. So I wondered what had offended little Pearl and was sorry you two left early. I'm glad it was just a misunderstanding. Brown Onion (and I) will be waiting "ass up" for your visit tonight.

P.S. Brown Onion says aluminum bats are too cold so make sure to bring the Louisville Slugger that he enjoys so much. Wood splinters in the sphincter can usually be plucked out with teeth and a little sucking.

Splinters in the asshole are no laughing matter. A couple years ago my buddy got a small wooden ball stuck up inside his poop chute and he couldn't get it out himself. He said there were 2 balls originally and the other one came out right away. After being in distress for almost a day he finally called me. I was on a date at the time but cut it short to come over and help out "bowels in need of assistance."

I could feel the ball with my finger but couldn't grab hold. It felt dry and sticky in there. I got a turkey baster and shot him full of olive oil, then reached in with salad tongs but still couldn't get a grip. Then he remembered he had some mechanical fingers in the garage which I got while he waited patiently, colon still filled with oil. It took a few minutes of poking around but with the mechanical fingers extended I finally got ahold of the wooden ball and pulled it out successfully.

The celebration was short lived when I saw that he had gotten a wood splinter deeply embedded on the inner surface of his starfish. Luckily I had seen a magnifying light in his garage workshop so we adjourned out to the garage with him wearing a towel for the short trip outside. I got him on the workbench and used the lighted magnifier and tweezers to work on the splinter. It was so deep I had to make a small slice with an X-Acto knife to get the end of the splinter out.

Even though I sterilized the X-Acto blade with flame from a torch he ended up getting an infection but that too cleared up in a week or so.

So the moral is even though it all worked out in the "end" be careful with sticking wood up your ass.

Glad you were able to help your bowels buddy get that splinter and wooden ball out.

Dad and the obese neighbor always used plungers and broom handles on each other's assholes and have joked about getting splinters. They still use wooden objects but quit using broom handles when my dad got concerned about getting cancer from lead-based paint flaking off inside his intestine.

At the hospital where I work I have observed polyp surgeries. Polyps are mushroom-like growths on the inner surface of the colon and they can turn cancerous. I think that regularly shoving a hollow metal pipe or PVC tube with a sharp beveled edge into the rectum would be an effective way to shear off any polyps and prevent colon cancer. Dad said I should write up the idea and submit it to a medical journal. He and the obese neighbor have volunteered to be study subjects.

Maui Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Why is it considered rude to discuss bowels at
> the
> > dinner table?
>
>
> Please accept our apologies Brown. It wasn't
> bowels, but the context of the story that inspired
> the statement about being "rude".
>
> The back story is that on Friday during dinner
> with several of the Brothers in Bowels (BiB's),
> Brown Onion made a comment about the taste of my
> bowels, which he intended as a compliment. Pearl
> Onion was at the table and remarked "that was
> rude", jealous that another man had been tonguing
> her boyfriend's asshole without her knowledge.
> Pearl was gloomy the rest of the meal; she asked
> me to drive her home and sadly we missed the scat
> play session.
>
> In fact it was just a misunderstanding because
> Pearl Onion thought the ass-eating session had
> taken place that same day when in fact it was
> weeks ago. Pearl Onion has apologized and she has
> been saving her poops all weekend to spread over
> Brown Onion's naked body as we work a Louisville
> Slugger up Brown's colon. She has other anal
> delights planned as well...


Brother Brown Onion I am terribly sorry for accusing you of being rude. It was me that was rude and I shouldn't have assumed you were eating my boyfriend's butthole behind my back. And actually now that I have thought about it, you have my permission to eat him out any time whether I'm there or not.

We really appreciate you opening your little "sweet spot" house and hosting all the Brothers and Sisters in Bowels for play sessions. Personally although I love smearing poop on naked bodies and sliding around in shit it's not something I can do at home. If my mom were to drop in, all that shit all over the floors and in the bed and sheets, etc. would be hard to explain. So we will be over tonight about 7:30 and since Maui and I are both shitting out really dark colored turds we will bring red wine. I'll bring my bag of poop from yesterday and maybe stop by the dog park to pick up some snacks.

See you soon.

Love, "Perl Onion"

Tonight Taco Bell is going to happen. Take that bowels. I believe BO said your guts send signals to your brain what to eat. This one is brain, as going to make my bowels explode like one of the space shuttles.

Real Fatso Freddie Wrote:
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> Tonight Taco Bell is going to happen. Take that
> bowels. I believe BO said your guts send signals
> to your brain what to eat. This one is brain, as
> going to make my bowels explode like one of the
> space shuttles.


The Bowels Brothers must be excited about that prospect. No doubt they are all naked, vying for position in the line of fire, mouths open wide to catch the juicy molten shitstream.

Bend over

I see we have a lot of LEFTIST ANTI American CROOKED JOE BIDEN Supporters here. These jerks burn our flags, and don’t love our country. Myself and my bowels know they are NEVER TRUMPERS. Today’s SCAM WITCH HUNT is unacceptable. My bowels are irritated and the amount of swollen rectal tissue is caused by this nonsense. It’s a WITCH HUNT. PRESIDENT TRUMP is INNOCENT!

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Today’s SCAM WITCH HUNT is unacceptable. My
> bowels are irritated and the amount of swollen
> rectal tissue is caused by this nonsense.


Sounds like you need to ask your gay lover and the other Brothers in Bowels for more tongue action. The gentle caress of a moist tongue are guaranteed to sooth an irritated rectum. Also, try to choose bowels buddy partners with smaller cocks until your rectum has fully recovered. Use plenty of lube and ask him to slide it in slowly rather than with a single thrust. Any time you feel friction or burning, call a timeout and add additional lube to his cock and work a generous amount of lube into your sphincter itself before resuming.

BO are you going to lose it when Trump loses to Biden?

The reason your rectum is irritated is from shoving all those Cadbury cream eggs up in there. Getting fucked or pegged is fairly harmless but letting raw milk chocolate ferment up in the depths of your bowels is gonna breed different kinds of bacteria and throw off your intestines chemistry.

And watch out for splinters in your ass, although baseball bats are usually smooth.

I watched Hee Haw today. The rugrats had to bother me this afternoon. This is my time to sit on the recliner with prunes, psyllium husk, and castor oil in my tea. Yet they had to act ridiculous, and the sanctimonious asshole parents left them with me. Then when my adult children show up, they question my abilities, and I don’t think it is appropriate for them to complain about my posters of President Trump or the Bristol Stool Guide.

I paid for this house, the roof, and the groceries. All day they are on their telephone’s ignoring their children. It is my responsibility to teach them patriotism, love of country, God, freedom, and Trump. Now my bowels are irritated. It is true that how you feel can affect your colon, and I already know tonight’s rectal mirror forecast is goulash.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I watched Hee Haw today. The rugrats had to bother
> me this afternoon. This is my time to sit on the
> recliner with prunes, psyllium husk, and castor
> oil in my tea. Yet they had to act ridiculous, and
> the sanctimonious asshole parents left them with
> me. Then when my adult children show up, they
> question my abilities, and I don’t think it is
> appropriate for them to complain about my posters
> of President Trump or the Bristol Stool Guide.
>
> I paid for this house, the roof, and the
> groceries. All day they are on their telephone’s
> ignoring their children. It is my responsibility
> to teach them patriotism, love of country, God,
> freedom, and Trump. Now my bowels are irritated.
> It is true that how you feel can affect your
> colon, and I already know tonight’s rectal
> mirror forecast is goulash.


Your brothers in bowel will join you for scat fun! You know we have your back in more ways than one!

Brown Onion do you think California Governor Jerry Brown because his name has ass problems

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I watched Hee Haw today. The rugrats had to bother
> me this afternoon.

Brown Onion did you play that game again where you put on a chicken costume and cram Easter eggs up your butt, then pretend to lay eggs as you spit them out your ass to the kids holding out their Easter baskets? Which do you prefer using, real hardboiled eggs, Cadbury cream eggs, or hollow plastic eggs filled with jellybeans?

Just finished newsmax and am pleased. President Trump God as my witness has already won. He is so smart and a patriotic man, who one day will be associated with Washington, Jefferson, and Reagan. A American hero who’s exposed corruption, tells the truth, and his legal team too deserves credit. They are absolutely crushing liberal NY prosecutors who even with Soros money, are no match for the smartest businessman and president this nation has ever seen. My bowels are relatively calm.

Uncle Sam savors the dicks he eats



He's chockfulla shit

I recommend castor oil for brothers in bowel. Citrus magnesium and other laxatives, only cause problems to the Bristol Stool Guide. Watching Gunsmoke this afternoon. The rectal mirror shows horror soon. I wish my recliner could function as a groan throne. For now as useless as Mitch The Turtle McConnell.

Brown Onion is eating my ass out right now. I squeezed out 2 large turds and a few pellets. He Wolfe one of them down with olive oil, and says he' saving the other one for dinner.

Brown Onion is only so -so at sucking dick. Gerry has no competition there.

Dominos pizza, wings, sodas. Take that bowels.

3 large loaf turds, an 8 inch snake turd, 10 peanut type floaters, a bag of chips, large vanilla milkshake, a kiwi, and 3 Miller lites. Take that bowels.

President Trump will win reelection easily. Just bet $50,000 on his victory, and I’ll be winning too. Thank God for a Christian like President Trump.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> President Trump will win reelection easily. Just
> bet $50,000 on his victory, and I’ll be winning
> too. Thank God for a Christian like President
> Trump.


You’ll be bankrupt, just like Trump! What a fool you are!

I bowel to the honorable onion

Many of the BiB's are Biden voters. Joe Biden himself wears adult diapers which Brown Onion and all the Bowels Brothers find exciting, licking their lips whenever old Joementia shits himself in public.

Brown Onion will be well taken care of no matter who wins the election. Brown's welcoming bowels provide a pleasant playground for all the Brothers in Bowels (BiB's), regardless of political views, race, sex, gender, or even species.

Texas Roadhouse. Take that bowels.

Real Fatso Freddie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Texas Roadhouse. Take that bowels.

On Thursday nights Brown Onion sets up in the Texas Roadhouse bathroom and licks customers asses clean. He gives blowjobs too if he's in a good mood.

Mitch McConnell the turtle is in my rectal mirror. Head goes in and out. Bill Barr’s bowels are backed up. To turn on President Trump is proof this is all a WITCH HUNT. A HOAX.

CROOKED JOE BIDEN is mocking Americans and their bowels, with the DEEP STATE SWAMP that is powerful. SLEEPY JOE stole the rigged election.

How are your bowels?

So fucking dumb

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mitch McConnell the turtle is in my rectal mirror.
> Head goes in and out. Bill Barr’s bowels are
> backed up. To turn on President Trump is proof
> this is all a WITCH HUNT. A HOAX.
>
> How are your bowels?


Hey Mr. Brown Onion what time are gonna be at the Texas Roadhouse? My sphincter is sore and could use a nice tongue lashing. I got a colon full of hot tamale shit you can eat or rub on yourself too.

Attorney General Bill Barr’s bowels weakened, causing him to be fired by President Trump. Mr Barr’s groan throne must be huge with an industrial grade plunger. Mitch McConnell’s turtle head might be making a rectal mirror appointment. The smelly turtle.

President Trumo has been vindicated by the Supreme Court today, and the NY WITCH HUNT continues to interfere with his reading of the Bible on the golden groan throne.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mr. Barr’s groan throne must be huge with an
> industrial grade plunger. Mitch McConnell’s
> turtle head might be making a rectal mirror


Hey Mr. Brown did you ever get those splinters out of your rectum? You shouldn't stick wood objects such as plungers or baseball bats up your ass.

Today President Trump should be on the campaign trail. Thanks to the WITCH HUNT by CROOKED JOE Biden he’s in a kangaroo court. My bowels are irritated, but Trump will win reelection easy. Going to be happy and wealthy.

President Trumps bowels are gold plated!

Ironic he wears diapers

Dad and the obese neighbor are talking abou mustache rides. Is that at Kings Dominion? Am sure they are grilling tonight.

This area is unholy. There is a lot of unnatural behaviors here. I think the person or corporation in charge should take this down. Ones bathroom habits or problems, if I’m to be a little bold, are a private matter and should be treated as such. It’s not following the scriptures, or heeding guidance from the holy Bible.

Dominos wings. Take that bowels.

Nothing against George Washington, but his stature is diminished by President Trump. President Trump represents strength, courage, perseverance, and is a patriot. I thank God for blessing our nation with this passionate and kind man, who cares for each and everyone of us.

I pray tonight, the castor oil will move my internal plumbing. My bowels hurt. The colon and starfish are experiencing Antietam. I’m not sure who will win this battle, but four score and seven years ago, my bowels were in great shape during Nam. Your bowels will betray you. Enjoy them while they are working well as a young person.

You are a draft dodger

Honor and Dooty Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You are a draft dodger


Three tours in Vietnam, while you probably crapped your diapers with coloring books. How dare you insult our generation or President Trump? Unless you fought for this country your opinion is worth less than my rectal mirror.

You need to train your bowels. Today two grand slams after one yesterday. Three tomorrow. If you cycle your bowels like a lawn mower machine, good to go.

Bill Barr will be President Trumps Attorney General next term. I’m thrilled by his endorsement! The turtle out of his ass Mitch McConnell has come around, and Trump wins by a landslide!

Maybe watching your weight and drinking coffee should suffice.

When Jayden Daniels and other players are drafted, are their bowels checked out

Tonight I’m going to the KFC Taco Bell in Annandale. Going to order everything. Then I’ll place a dollar store tablecloth on the table which I’ll take a shit on. Brown Onion and others like it when I do this, or when finger painting the walls of the restaurant with my poop. All are invited as last times event led to a lot of masturbation and defecating in public. So hot!

Does Brown or anyone here sell Jenkum on the side? I’m wondering if these people bottle their craps or farts. Only Fans Maybe?

My bowels caused me problems this morning, and I didn’t want to fill up the church’s groan throne. Thankfully President Trumps official God Bless the USA Bible with fellow patriot Lee Greenwood. Perusing the constitution, national anthem, and scriptures made it a holy Sunday indeed. I love God, Jesus, the Holy Ghost and President Trump winning will make my bowels complete. He will easily.

Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, soda. Take that bowels.

Baby Jesus,
I pray to you tonight. It was my mistake to drive my Buick through the temptation of McDonald’s. That quarter pounder might allow me to give birth to OJ. If you could forgive me, I’d be grateful with a #2 #2.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My bowels caused me problems this morning, and I
> didn’t want to fill up the church’s groan
> throne.

That Baptist church in Oakton where you desecrated the baptism pool has your picture on the bulletin board with instructions to call the police if are seen on the property.

Their security cameras got video of Brown Onion naked and getting buggered by the former youth pastor then emptying his bowels in the baptismal pool.

Tom’s Diner in Manassas today. Pancakes, bacon, hash browns. Take that bowels.

Looks like a shrink plus vegetables and fruits could provide some relief. Wondering if these posts are from Woodburn? Absolutely insane.

Look at this asshole doctor want to be. Probably on the World Wide Web using that google. It’s not always just as simple as eat fruits and vegetables. I eat healthy and suffer from IBS. How are your bowels?

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Look at this asshole doctor want to be. Probably
> on the World Wide Web using that google. It’s
> not always just as simple as eat fruits and
> vegetables. I eat healthy and suffer from IBS. How
> are your bowels?


Now, now Mr. Brown what did we tell you when we removed that cuckoo clock from your colon. Your bowels are irritated because you and your gay lovers keep shoving wood objects up your ass that leave splinters.

I see CROOKED JOE BIDENS spies are on this World Wide Web site today. No one has defended Governor Kristi Noem. Attack attack attack without facts is what the CROOKED JOE BIDEN fans do.

Maybe she had bowel problems at the time. Have you ever thought of that you delusional leftist twerps?

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I see CROOKED JOE BIDENS starfish and want to
> suck out his big brown stools. Shitting without
> an open mouth waiting is what the CROOKED
> JOE BIDEN fans do.
>
> Maybe he had bowel problems at the time. Have you
> ever thought of that you delusional leftist
> twerps?

If you slip the secret service a few dollars they might save Joe's feces-filled adult diapers for you to enjoy and savor. Please remember to share with your fellow Brothers in Bowels (BiB's).

Tonight oysters, deviled eggs, cheesecake. Take that bowels.

There’s a food group fruits and vegetables.

That should fix the problem!

Bananas,, cucumbers, carrots, and eggplants to be specific. All feel great in the bowels.

I hate what I see in the rectal mirror. My best guess is Gerry Connolly is going to slide through my starfish. The groan throne will be even messier. The plumber will expect a few more dirty dollars. My hope is I don’t see the green Irish tie as it’s probably brown due to bilirubin.

President Trump continues to captivate this great country. He mostly reminds me of JFK, who famously said “ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” I worship Jesus, God, and the modern day disciple Donald J Trump. I bought more stock from Truth Social, because he is a wonderful and gifted man of business.

Vaporise them

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I hate what I see in the rectal mirror. My best
> guess is Gerry Connolly is going to slide through
> my starfish.


Gerry Connolly has a fat dick but he has E.D. Make sure he takes an extra Viagra or you will be disappointed.

Filet O Fish, French Fries, Coke. Take that bowels.

In congress we take turns with Brown Onion in the basement bathrooms. We plow his bowels and make him like a chocolate eclair. Well used bowels get it

Brown Onion's recent anal experience with Gerry Connolly brings up an interesting question. Which political party performs better in your bowels? Phrased differently, which party is better at fucking you up the ass?

Perhaps Brown Onion and the BiB's can weigh in regarding whether Democrats or Republicans are better at buggering.

Our Lord who art in Heaven. People please stop saying to put items or other unnatural acts in a persons rectum. Your rectum, bowels, and colon are sacred. He gave his life for you and that includes your bowels.

There are human and earth frustrations. These are the crosses we must bare. We are challenged by our bowels, and must pray, eat as well as possible, and also pray every single day.

Wish to break bread with you.

Getting buggered up the ass by fat old Democrat politicians isn't safe. At least make him wear a condom.

Quote
Brown Onion
I hate what I see in the rectal mirror. My best guess is Gerry Connolly is going to slide through my starfish.

http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/read/40/4141745/4145844.html#msg-4145844

Gerry Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> In congress we take turns with Brown Onion in the
> basement bathrooms. We plow his bowels and make
> him like a chocolate eclair. Well used bowels get
> it

The Brothers in Bowels (BiB's) on the Hill can confirm that Brown Onion is a popular play partner on the House side. Brown's eager bowels are bipartisan; his starfish gaping open for Democrats and Republicans alike.

Senate BiB's have been frustrated by the recent closure of the once-popular room 216 in the Hart Building. Ever since Aidan Maese-Czeropski, a staffer for Sen. Ben Cardin, had his fudge packed on video, the BiB's have been without safe play space of their own. It's a long walk over to the House offices, but Senators and staff attest that railing Brown Onion makes it worth the trip.

This is about bowels folks. This would include ideally your intestines, digestive system/stomach, colon, starfish, groan thrones, rectal mirrors, and other medicinal products like castor oil or epsoms baths. Fizzy up what’s left of your starfish, and hope the miles of plumbing is intact.

Brown Onion's Bowels Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Getting buggered up the ass by fat old Democrat
> politicians isn't safe. At least make him wear a
> condom.
>

Quote
Brown Onion
I hate what I see in the rectal mirror. My best guess is Gerry Connolly is going to slide through my starfish.

http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/read/40/4141745/4145844.html#msg-4145844


How small is Gerry Connolly's cock?
How often does Gerry Connolly engage in buttfucking sessions with Brown Onion and Ben Cardin's staffer?

Now we know why Gerry Connolly is so useless.