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Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: August 06, 2023 02:13PM

Thank you Fairfax Baptist! Have a guest sermon today on bowel health. It was well received, and my best guess is GI’s don’t go to church.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Jesus loving Onion ()
Date: August 06, 2023 02:45PM

I had steak with 6 fried eggs 2 biscuits home fries and heavily buttered grits for brunch today.

Please pray for my bowels.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 06, 2023 03:32PM

Cooking out on the grill soon. Going to try to eat four big burgers with lettuce tomato and onion on them.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Rev Billy Bob ()
Date: August 06, 2023 08:52PM

Dear Lord, please help all those with bowel issues. Amen!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: 5am guy. ()
Date: August 07, 2023 05:34AM

Hi all
5am guy checking in a bit late here. 5am guy says hi to everyone!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Gay lover of Brown Onion ()
Date: August 07, 2023 06:48AM

The minister made a announcement during the church service that Brown Onion and I would be hosting a "Bowels and Bible" session on Sunday evenings. Last night the church choir came over in addition to a few regulars. We ordered Tippy's Tacos and everyones' bowels were soon rumbling happily. Everyone removed their clothes and went in our lap cesspool which soon became a small sewage lagoon. It was great fun sliding and splashing in all the poop. The highlight was when Brow Onion conducted a full immersion baptism session in the liquid shit. A great time was had by all.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Pancho Villa ()
Date: August 07, 2023 07:13AM

Sounds like such great fun. Can’t wait to go to Tippys next Saturday and church on Sunday.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 07, 2023 07:54AM

We have a client at work who is bringing in multiple pizzas for lunch today. Last time they did this there were 3 pizzas left over and I ate two of them.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: August 09, 2023 07:57PM

How unfair for President Trump tonight. This prosecutor needs to realize President Trump is innocent. My bowels are irritated.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Gay lover of Brown Onion ()
Date: August 09, 2023 10:16PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> How unfair for President Trump tonight. This
> prosecutor needs to realize President Trump is
> innocent. My bowels are irritated.

I contacted the prosecutor on behalf of the Brothers in Bowels (BiBs). When I explained that we are willing to do anything on behalf of our Orange God, he became interested. I explained that we love licking assholes he became more interested. He is all in and wants a scat party.. Once that prosecutor feels Brown Onion's tongue forcing its way up into his con he is sure to drop all charges agai st Trump.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: 5am guy. ()
Date: August 10, 2023 03:48AM

Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy just got back from Royal farm. 5am guy eats lunch at 3am and the only places open at that time are 7-11 and Royal Farm. 5am guy had fried chicken with potato wedges. Now 5am guy is starting to feel like it is time to drop a load. 5am guy sends best wishes to everyone.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Boiled onion. ()
Date: August 10, 2023 10:24AM

Got the day off today, going to get a couple steak and cheese subs!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Actual.JP.Morenthau ## ()
Date: August 10, 2023 11:50AM

Fyi: Brown Onion, 5am guy. are all the same as; Actual JP Morgenthau!

JP's wife works for Fairfax County Water... there is no wealth or sweet spot in Mantua.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Halftime onion ()
Date: August 11, 2023 04:39PM

Wathing the Commandskins game tonite!

Chicken wings
Chips
Pretzels
Cream cheese-crab dip
Onion dip
Veggie tray
Ice cold Bud light
Weed
Cake
Ice Cream

Look out bowels! Here it comes!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Billy 12-Pack ()
Date: August 11, 2023 09:27PM

One month no alcohol, solid poop. Before I was percolating butt coffee all day. Say a prayer at Fairfax Baptist for my sobriety or I’ll give you bible thumpers a upper decker.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 12, 2023 07:23AM

Having steak and 6 fried eggs along with a huge bowl of grits

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: toasted onion ()
Date: August 12, 2023 02:00PM

boiled onion. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Having steak and 6 fried eggs along with a huge
> bowl of grits

Seems exessive. How about fruit and some whole wheat toast tommorow?

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 13, 2023 06:48AM

Heading to Manassas now. Trying to decide between the buffet at golden coral or a couple footlong chili-cheese dogs at Sonic. Maybe both!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Real Fatso Freddie ()
Date: August 13, 2023 08:22AM

On my way to IHOP.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 16, 2023 12:30PM

Having a couple triple whoppers for lunch.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: transgender onion. ()
Date: August 17, 2023 05:39AM

I am going to see Doctor Kuturcockov

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Gay Onion ()
Date: August 17, 2023 06:30AM

Gonna have a fruit salad. Easy on the bowels.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: 5am guy. ()
Date: August 18, 2023 05:00AM

Hi all! 5am guy checking in here.

5am guy is getting ready to have a 3 day weekend and 5am guy is looking forward to it. 5am guy and chicken frying woman are going to Williamsburg for two nights. Chicken frying woman wants to go to Captain Georges buffet but 5am guy is a bit worried about that.
5am guy sends best wishes to all the bib's.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Hollis ()
Date: August 18, 2023 06:44AM

What do you like? What are your interests!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: toasted onion ()
Date: August 18, 2023 06:59AM

Hollis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What do you like? What are your interests!

5am guy is a data center overnight caretaker. Hi is a bit crazy from working the graveyard shift for 20 plus years.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Chicken Frying woman ()
Date: August 18, 2023 08:37AM

5am guy is my man.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 18, 2023 04:33PM

Traffic is bad today so I am leaving work a bit early. Going to Popeyes for a 12 piece family pack with biscuits and coleslaw.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: 5am guy. ()
Date: August 20, 2023 05:00AM

Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy and chicken frying woman are staying in Williamsburg at a hotel. We are going home later today and 5am guy does not have to work tonight!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 20, 2023 03:51PM

I am going to pick up a KFC 20 dollar fill up box shortly. They claim it will feed a family of four but I am not sure if it will be enough for my dinner. I probably better get some desserts in case I need them.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: 5am guy. ()
Date: August 21, 2023 04:53AM

Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. Even though 5am guy is not working right now 5am guy is awake at 5am.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Real Fatso Freddie ()
Date: August 21, 2023 06:58AM

Woke up early and can’t sleep so I am heading to IHOP.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: transgender onion ()
Date: August 21, 2023 06:58PM

Hi!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 22, 2023 07:14AM

I called in sick today. Going to Sonic shortly. Foot-long chil dogs with mustard and onions!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 23, 2023 06:06AM

Stopping at McDonalds on my way to work. Going to get five sausage McMuffins, five hash browns and a medium diet coke.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: August 23, 2023 07:06AM

Well hello dere bib'z ! I haz not been on here in a coons age and I jus wanted ta say high ta everyone. I shore am a lookin forward ta this weekend commin up I has been a learnin how ta ride a motorcycle an am goin on a ride to west virginia fo a 4 day weekend.
I shore hope everyons here is a doin ok. I hope God blesses yall real good. Anybodi hear from spring onions lately?

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: toasted onion ()
Date: August 24, 2023 06:56AM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well hello dere bib'z ! I haz not been on here in
> a coons age and I jus wanted ta say high ta
> everyone. I shore am a lookin forward ta this
> weekend commin up I has been a learnin how ta ride
> a motorcycle an am goin on a ride to west virginia
> fo a 4 day weekend.
> I shore hope everyons here is a doin ok. I hope
> God blesses yall real good. Anybodi hear from
> spring onions lately?

Hi Red! Last time we heard from Spring onion he had his two year degree from Richard Bland Jr college and was working at a Richmond area hospital as a nurse. Sadly, he had to start his career during Covid. It sounds like he is doing well. As you probably know a Richard Bland diploma gives him guaranteed acceptance to William and Mary. Hopefully he will continue his education.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Spring_0nion ()
Date: August 24, 2023 07:59PM

Actually Im a nurse's aide not a nurse. You have to have a 4 year degree to be a nurse. Unfortunately this means I mostly empty waste baskets and bedpans. The other day I was allowed to help give an 89 year old patient a sponge bath around his anal fistulas - a difficult but important task. Due to financial concerns I have had to take to sleeping in my car at Walmart during the week then spending weekends at home. I prefer the car as its a Fiesta, also Dad and the Obese Neighbor are always partying on the weekends. Not much has changed there.

Mom was super upset last Saturday when she found them dancing naked (except they were wearing covid masks and latex gloves) with NY Strip steaks half inserted into their rectums while dancing to blaring "Its Raining Men" Mom said the steaks were for a cookout not that kind of thing.

I made a weeks worth of sprout salads with silken tofu and nutmeg seasoned organic dried currents - Ill eat those for dinners in my car during the work week...

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: beans biscuits and coleslaw ()
Date: August 24, 2023 08:21PM

5am guy. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy and
> chicken frying woman are staying in Williamsburg
> at a hotel. We are going home later today and 5am
> guy does not have to work tonight!


good shit!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Fistula ()
Date: August 24, 2023 09:42PM

Trump not looking like he is in good bowel health!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: 5am guy. ()
Date: August 25, 2023 05:00AM

5am guy says hi!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Precise Pete ()
Date: August 25, 2023 06:12AM

5am guy. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5am guy says hi!


Excellent! You’re right on time today.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 25, 2023 06:52AM

Roy Rogers opens shortly and I am standing at the door.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: toasted onion ()
Date: August 25, 2023 10:45AM

boiled onion. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Roy Rogers opens shortly and I am standing at the
> door.

I hope you got a couple of fruit cups for breakfast but I am guessing not.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 26, 2023 02:28PM

Watching the Commanders play tonight. Will be making fondue with chili-dogs and doritos.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: 5am guy. ()
Date: August 27, 2023 04:59AM

Hi all 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy is not happy because next weekend is a holiday weekend and 5am guy is getting fucked over as usual so other people can have 3 day weekends. 5am guy will be working 10pm to 10am shifts for 5 straight days. 5am guy does not like working that long. This is causing 5am guy to have bowel trouble.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Kelis22 ()
Date: August 27, 2023 05:15AM

Your gonna be rich

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: boiled onion. ()
Date: August 27, 2023 06:55AM

Kelis22 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Your gonna be rich

5am guy is pretty wealthy already. He was an only child and got a large inheritance that includes a 51 acre farm near Paint Bank Virginia.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Clown Onion ()
Date: August 27, 2023 07:43PM



























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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: toasted onion ()
Date: August 29, 2023 07:47AM

boiled onion. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Kelis22 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Your gonna be rich
>
> 5am guy is pretty wealthy already. He was an only
> child and got a large inheritance that includes a
> 51 acre farm near Paint Bank Virginia.


WoW!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: paint bank onion ()
Date: August 30, 2023 01:03AM

Where is 5am guy?

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: toasted onion ()
Date: September 09, 2023 12:26PM

paint bank onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Where is 5am guy?

He has the weekend off.

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: September 10, 2023 09:08AM

Howdy BiB's! Football n beerz today!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: transgender onion ()
Date: September 12, 2023 02:20PM

Hi Red!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: toasted onion ()
Date: September 13, 2023 10:31AM

Hi bib's!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Thank U ! ()
Date: September 26, 2023 03:23PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you Fairfax Baptist! Have a guest sermon
> today on bowel health. It was well received, and
> my best guess is GI’s don’t go to church.

Thank U!

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Re: Bowels and Fairfax Baptist
Posted by: Praise the Lord ()
Date: September 26, 2023 04:25PM

Jesus, thanks.

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