My bowels hurt in anticipation. I dread Thanksgiving. Matilda and all of our rugrats will be at tables and I just know her or I will drop cinder blocks, leading to an emergency call to the illegal plumber. It’ll cost only a couple of dirty dollars, but why must my bowels be in pain and also cost me money?

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My bowels hurt in anticipation. I dread
> Thanksgiving. Matilda and all of our rugrats will
> be at tables and I just know her or I will drop
> cinder blocks, leading to an emergency call to the
> illegal plumber. It’ll cost only a couple of
> dirty dollars, but why must my bowels be in pain
> and also cost me money?


One thing I’ve noticed is awful craps after this holiday. My guess is combining foods might not be good. An hour afterwards and I’m on the toilet.

Enema, Enema!

I am going to have burritos and Turkey for thanksgiving. Take that bowels.

Going to eat a 20 pound turkey alone. Take that bowels.

Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy is still working the graveyard shift. 5am guy is still taking the dumps while the city sleeps. 5am guy says hi to all the BiB's!

5 am guy. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy is still
> working the graveyard shift. 5am guy is still
> taking the dumps while the city sleeps. 5am guy
> says hi to all the BiB's!

So glad our thread is back.

Grandma is in jail again. Dad and the obese neighbor don’t care. Mom is upset. They don’t care. It’s their jenkum for sale. All they care about is their grill and unhealthy eating habits.

Door Knob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My bowels hurt in anticipation. I dread
> > Thanksgiving. Matilda and all of our rugrats
> will
> > be at tables and I just know her or I will drop
> > cinder blocks, leading to an emergency call to
> the
> > illegal plumber. It’ll cost only a couple of
> > dirty dollars, but why must my bowels be in
> pain
> > and also cost me money?
>
>
> One thing I’ve noticed is awful craps after this
> holiday. My guess is combining foods might not be
> good. An hour afterwards and I’m on the toilet.

Don’t eat so much. Solution is simple.

As you all are aware, Brown Onion suffers from mental illness, including dementia. Brown Onion was recently kicked off his own private bowel forum and has also wandered away from his facility. He was last seen ambling down Little River Turnpike wearing an adult diaper and flip flops while munching on turds. He is soliciting bowel movements from the various beggars who work the intersections between 495 and Fairfax City and offering his dietary advice for better tasting poop. Please bear with Brown Onion until his handlers find him.

Dont f up threads with your smut we can have a good laugh without your tired old not funny pic

Go bother someone on another site freak

Same old shit

Parasite. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Same old shit



never discuss your bowels with someone too interested in your bowels.

Scat Freaks like Brown Onion need to be despised.

Let him squeeze one out to the Bristol Stool chart and leave it at that.

Common Sense Onion...w Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Parasite. Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Same old
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

>
> Let him squeeze one out to the Bristol Stool chart
> and leave it at that.


Kids in Bristol
Are sharp as a pistol
When they do
The Bristol Stomp.

GHUKM Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
\
> Kids in Bristol
> Are sharp as a pistol
> When they do
> The Bristol Stomp.

The only stomping Brown Onion does is waffle stomping when he has an "oopsie" in the shower.

Every once in a while, he does get carted off to one of "those" places for some rest. When he is in one he badgers his keepers for a hammer and nails. Something about "Religious freedom" and "how they would never treat Martin Luther this way"


Perhaps the melody of "Bristol Stomp" can be used with reworked lyrics "nut hut strut" amd BO can sing and dace around to it next time he is in there

Maybe Meade Skelton could record it
Of course, many believe Meade Skelton is Brown Onion which would make it much more appropriate.

Mr Brown Onion has always been kind and helpful. There are people like me who appreciate him. If you don’t like him that’s fine. Yet to me he’s a helpful man.

Mr Brown Onion has always been kind and helpful. There are people like me who appreciate him. If you don’t like him that’s fine. Yet to me he’s a helpful man.

Mr Brown Onion has always been kind and helpful. There are people like me who appreciate him. If you don’t like him that’s fine. Yet to me he’s a helpful man.

Brown Onion uses this type of arrangement for Thanksgiving dinner. When Matilda opens up on him, he doesn't spill a drop.

Pancakes and hash browns, take that bowels.

25 egg ham and cheese omelette, 98 hash browns, 23 pancakes, gallon of Orange juice. Take that bowels.

Real Fatso Freddie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 25 egg ham and cheese omelette, 98 hash browns, 23
> pancakes, gallon of Orange juice. Take that
> bowels.

This could be extremely dangerous. Think about your colon. Don’t you want to tear your bowels like a nice Corvette instead of a piece of shit Chevy? Am concerned about your bowels.

Last night a long thick painful log. The illegal plumber best show up soon.

Try adding fresh fruit and baby carrots to your diet. They are really good for the bowels and available at your local grocer!

Eatmoji Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Try adding fresh fruit and baby carrots to your
> diet. They are really good for the bowels and
> available at your local grocer!


Those could help. Yet peppers, oranges, apples. Foods with fiber are best.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Real Fatso Freddie Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > 25 egg ham and cheese omelette, 98 hash browns,
> 23
> > pancakes, gallon of Orange juice. Take that
> > bowels.
>
> This could be extremely dangerous. Think about
> your colon. Don’t you want to tear your bowels
> like a nice Corvette instead of a piece of shit
> Chevy? Am concerned about your bowels.
>
> Last night a long thick painful log. The illegal
> plumber best show up soon.

Thanks for being concerned for my bowels Mr. Brown Onion. I’ve been eating this type of diet for years and so far my bowels seem okay. I let loose huge piles of brown poop everyday . I usually have to flush about 4 times. Always keep a plunger near by.

The Don is my shepherd, I want nothing else.

He makes me lie down with green hookers,

He leads me beside golden showers,

He refreshes my soul brother,

He guides me along the ragged edge of truth for his name's sake

Even tho I walk thru the scary libtard hood,

I fear no hoodlums cuz the Don is with me;

My gat and my shiv they comfort me.

You throw me under the libtard bus.

You christen me with cum;

I pee my pants

For sure you hook me up for the rest of my life,

And I will live in Mara Lago forever.

Amen

above, reminiscent of pop-sensation- jhonny bravo from the early seventies

Jhonny Bravo didn't have the best managerial representation in those days. He could have sold-out stadiums.

You must forsake all others.
You must accept Donald J Christ as your Lord and Savior."

The Don is my shepherd, I want nothing else.

He makes me lie down with green hookers,

He leads me beside golden showers,

He refreshes my soul brother,

He guides me along the ragged edge of truth for his name's sake

Even tho I walk thru the scary libtard hood,

I fear no hoodlums cuz the Don is with me;

My gat and my shiv they comfort me.

You throw me under the libtard bus.

You christen me with cum;

I pee my pants

For sure you hook me up for the rest of my life,

And I will live in Mara Lago forever.

Amen

Definitely not Bravo as he’s funny.

You must forsake all others (& Johnny Bravo.)
You must accept Donald J Christ as your Lord and Savior."

The Don is my shepherd, I want nothing else.

He makes me lie down with green hookers,

He leads me beside golden showers,

He refreshes my soul brother,

He guides me along the ragged edge of truth for his name's sake

Even tho I walk thru the scary libtard hood,

I fear no hoodlums cuz the Don is with me;

My gat and my shiv they comfort me.

You throw me under the libtard bus.

You christen me with cum;

I pee my pants

For sure you hook me up for the rest of my life,

And I will live in Mara Lago forever.

Amen

The suit fit Jhonny Bravo!!

Where is Mr Bravo at? President Trump will be this generation’s Grover Cleveland. Biden is a very sick man, and President Trump is strong, smart, and reasonable.

Thanksgiving is a nightmare. In addition to the foods, my sister Matilda and I have to take care of the rug rats. Our brother Clarence will be staying up in NY. My guess is he will hand out turkeys in Harlem. The rest of us will eat but will have the plumber ready to go.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Where is Mr Bravo at? President Trump will be this
> generation’s Grover Cleveland. Biden is a very
> sick man, and President Trump is strong, smart,
> and reasonable.
>
> Thanksgiving is a nightmare. In addition to the
> foods, my sister Matilda and I have to take care
> of the rug rats. Our brother Clarence will be
> staying up in NY. My guess is he will hand out
> turkeys in Harlem. The rest of us will eat but
> will have the plumber ready to go.


Bigoted asshole.

You must forsake all others.
You must accept Donald J Christ as your Lord and Savior."

The Don is my shepherd, I want nothing else.

He makes me lie down with green hookers,

He leads me beside golden showers,

He refreshes my soul brother,

He guides me along the ragged edge of truth for his name's sake

Even tho I walk thru the scary libtard hood,

I fear no hoodlums cuz the Don is with me;

My gat and my shiv they comfort me.

You throw me under the libtard bus.

You christen me with cum;

I pee my pants

For sure you hook me up for the rest of my life,

And I will live in Mara Lago forever.

Amen

Although not the Lords day, am grateful for the love of President Trump. He Eliot be the chosen one of the baby Jesus, and he shall be re-elected like our savior was resurrected. The more I watch President Trump, I’m convinced he’s the man meant to be our Commander in Chief. Joe Biden never won and his bowels are a disaster. Then again I’m slightly older than him, so my bowel woes are acceptable

The midwives are on the way. There will be screaming, but dilation is real, as I birth a cinder block or small SUV. I know goulash is the result, and that my toe nails will scrape the tiles.

You must forsake all others.
You must accept Donald J Christ as your Lord and Savior."

The Don is my shepherd, I want nothing else.

He makes me lie down with green hookers,

He leads me beside golden showers,

He refreshes my soul brother,

He guides me along the ragged edge of truth for his name's sake

Even tho I walk thru the scary libtard hood,

I fear no hoodlums cuz the Don is with me;

My gat and my shiv they comfort me.

You throw me under the libtard bus.

You christen me with cum;

I pee my pants

For sure you hook me up for the rest of my life,

And I will live in Mara Lago forever.

Amen

I am waiting for golden corral to open here in manassas. My bowels are in for it soon!

As we age, our digestive health makes more appearances sadly.

Forgot who wrote it but be wary of people interested in your bowels. Good advice.

Jawline Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Forgot who wrote it but be wary of people
> interested in your bowels. Good advice.

How dare you! My good neighbor has nothing in his life other than the discussion of poop in this small fetid forum. Why do you want to take fhat away from hum? It seems the BiBs have scattered to the four winds during the pandemic and I have been the only one to visit him in person. I shit in his mouth as often as I can but he really misses the others.

Rusty Craplace,,,1965 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jawline Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Forgot who wrote it but be wary of people
> > interested in your bowels. Good advice.
>
> How dare you! My good neighbor has nothing in his
> life other than the discussion of poop in this
> small fetid forum. Why do you want to take fhat
> away from hum? It seems the BiBs have scattered to
> the four winds during the pandemic and I have been
> the only one to visit him in person. I shit in his
> mouth as often as I can but he really misses the
> others.

Bullshit. You lie and waste time doing such.

Took Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Rusty Craplace,,,1965 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Jawline Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Forgot who wrote it but be wary of people
> > > interested in your bowels. Good advice.
> >
> > How dare you! My good neighbor has nothing in
> his
> > life other than the discussion of poop in this
> > small fetid forum. Why do you want to take fhat
> > away from hum? It seems the BiBs have scattered
> to
> > the four winds during the pandemic and I have
> been
> > the only one to visit him in person. I shit in
> his
> > mouth as often as I can but he really misses
> the
> > others.
>
> Bullshit. You lie and waste time doing such.


Are you still upset about what happened in 2019?

You were told to stay away from authentic Indian Cuisine for 48 before hand when it was your turn to shit in Brown Onion's mouth.

You could have at least brought BO some Pepto Bismol.
Why don't you eat just vanilla pudding for the next couple of days and visit BO Monday night for another chance.

I love the feeling of Brown Onion's warm tongue lapping on my starfish.

Nothing goes better with a perfectly cooked thanksgiving turkey than the music of Meade Skelton. This is a tradition in my house.

My bowels are irritated, and no need to increase this. Tomorrow I’ll be going to the damn doctor again. As usual greeted with indifference and a copay. And the awful lady “when was the last time you evacuated your bowels?” Than that Twinkie finger and who knows what else.

Last night thank you midwives as I birthed a small Toyota full of cinder blocks. The pain was immense. The breathing exercises helped a bit. Never do I wish to experience this, but the doctor will create problems for what’s left of my colon.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My bowels are irritated, and no need to increase
> this. Tomorrow I’ll be going to the damn doctor
> again. As usual greeted with indifference and a
> copay. And the awful lady “when was the last
> time you evacuated your bowels?” Than that
> Twinkie finger and who knows what else.
>
> Last night thank you midwives as I birthed a small
> Toyota full of cinder blocks. The pain was
> immense. The breathing exercises helped a bit.
> Never do I wish to experience this, but the doctor
> will create problems for what’s left of my
> colon.


Welcome back BO! You were missed!

Cooking a 12 pound turkey right now to brush up on my turkey cooking skills for Thanksgiving. Going to see if I can eat the whole thing today along with stuffing and gravy. My bowels mignt be able to handle it!

Howdy dere BiB's! I sure am happi ta be seein this thread again. Happy thanksgivins ta all yall.

I hopes you are doin well mr brownonion.

Lookin forward to beerz an football today. Me an my roomate are cookin bbq chicken leg quarterz on the charcoal grill. Taday is a good day ta be alive an free.

God bless yall.

Fun Times Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nothing goes better with a perfectly cooked
> thanksgiving turkey than the music of Meade
> Skelton. This is a tradition in my house..

Meade really knows how to hit "the Brown noise".
Of course, when us BiBs get together, we can't play too much of it.

Even with his mad scat skills, Brown Onion's mouth can only take one dump at time.

"Waste not, want not" is BO's slogan.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Howdy dere BiB's! I sure am happi ta be seein this
> thread again. Happy thanksgivins ta all yall.
>
> I hopes you are doin well mr brownonion.
>
> Lookin forward to beerz an football today. Me an
> my roomate are cookin bbq chicken leg quarterz on
> the charcoal grill. Taday is a good day ta be
> alive an free.
>
> God bless yall.

Welcome back red onion. Had been wondering are you still around here? How’s life been treating you?

In case anyone is interested I am friends with Spring Onion on facebook. His Grandma had to sell the house and move to assisted living and she got enough money out of the house to take care of Spring Onions tuiton at William and Mary. Since Spring completed the 2 year program at Richard Bland he was automatically accepted at W&M. I am not sure but I think he is going to start second semester this year. Spring is already a LPN nurse so he will have no problem getting a part time job at a health care place in Williamsburg.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Howdy dere BiB's! I sure am happi ta be seein this
> thread again. Happy thanksgivins ta all yall.
>
> I hopes you are doin well mr brownonion.
>
> Lookin forward to beerz an football today. Me an
> my roomate are cookin bbq chicken leg quarterz on
> the charcoal grill. Taday is a good day ta be
> alive an free.
>
> God bless yall.


Nice to hear from you red onion. I hope that it’s not rude to type on my laptop computer that I have on the groan throne. Chicken tends to be easier on our bowels than beef or pork. I hope your bowels are well.

Would watch football but about to give birth to cinder blocks. Why my poor starfish must endure this is sad. My starfish hurts as does my colon. I know the midwives are on the way. It would be awful if they had to do a C section.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Howdy dere BiB's! I sure am happi ta be seein this
> thread again. Happy thanksgivins ta all yall.
>
> I hopes you are doin well mr brownonion.
>
> Lookin forward to beerz an football today. Me an
> my roomate are cookin bbq chicken leg quarterz on
> the charcoal grill. Taday is a good day ta be
> alive an free.
>
> God bless yall.

Hopefully, you are having a big plate of your mom's famous tamales for Sunday Dinner.

It is your turn to shit in Brown Onion's mouth tomorrow and you know how he loves his tamales the next day.

There is nothing like rooting in the fruits of the bowels.

Truffle Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There is nothing like rooting in the fruits of the
> bowels.
>


Old brown onion had a farm....eieio

I’ve got many Bristol Stool guides to pass out at church this Sunday. The China virus really did cause problems, and even the rugrats couldn’t get on the World Wide Web sites to work. Looking forward as back at church, and I believe the pastor agreed to put in new groan thrones.

Username Brown Onion needs psychiatric help.

GI Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Username Brown Onion needs psychiatric help.


He seems fine to me.

Oh, there is a lot to unpack here!

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I’ve got many Bristol Stool guides to pass out
> at church this Sunday. The China virus really did
> cause problems, and even the rugrats couldn’t
> get on the World Wide Web sites to work. Looking
> forward as back at church, and I believe the
> pastor agreed to put in new groan thrones.


You tell them Brown Onion. You have a gift. You saved 5am guy's life. You were able to diagnose his kidney disease just by the taste of his Bowel Movements alone.

Brother Brown Onion is a wonderful man of faith. We pray his bowel issues get better.

Grandma and the obese neighbor are cooking on the grill. This is a distraction to my study time. Mom and dad are signing a lot of papers, not sure what that is about. The obese neighbor is throwing all kinds of unhealthy food on the propane flames, and I’m worried about grandma being exposed to these not healthy foods.

It’s my fault. I couldn’t resist the Edam cheese and ate all of it. The taste was delicious, and beyond my expectations. Yet now as a rendezvous with the groan throne is in the stars, I know I will be paying the price for this decision. The midwives will come, and bring extra plastic to put around the groan throne. They might need to do a C section, as what’s happening is dilation and inevitable pain. My bowels are paying the price. What will be left of my starfish I don’t know. Yet it’s my hope the midwives brought staples and stitches, as this one could be especially rough.

Bowels is an old term

Spring Onions Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Grandma and the obese neighbor are cooking on the
> grill. This is a distraction to my study time. Mom
> and dad are signing a lot of papers, not sure what
> that is about. The obese neighbor is throwing allA
> kinds of unhealthy food on the propane flames, and
> I’m worried about grandma being exposed to these
> not healthy foods.

Spring, if there ever was a time to visit Brown Onion, it is now. Remember in 2019 when he thought he was tipping the UPS guy by throwing poop at him? He is worse now. He has been going door to door in his neighborhood asking people about their poops and lecturing them on the wonders of the Bristol Stool Chart. He has had good luck so far, but it is only a matter of time before he talks to someone who isn't amused and he gets carted off for another 5150 psych hold. I don't think his decrepit mind and body will survive a few days in a loony bin,
An urgent visit from all of us BiBs are in order. I just hope all of us can shit in his mouth one last time so he can die knowing how much he was loved.

I am happy to find this.

I’m not alone.

So many years thought why me? Thank you !

Brown Onion and I hooked up this weekend. Brown asked me to write up a summary of our date for all to enjoy.

It was a fall Saturday; the forecast was for sunshine and mild temperatures. We had decided to go to the mall that day to do some shopping. Matilda had dropped you off at my place at around 10am. You had on a loose-fitting tank-top, cute, baggy, striped, denim shorts that came down just a couple of inches above your knees, and were barefooted.

Although you had showered, you had already worked up a nice sweat riding Matilda's ass that morning. Neither of us are the deodorant type--too artificial. Your pit hair was sopping wet and sweat had dripped down wetting your shirt. There was virtually no wind at all that day; even from a few feet away, I could smell your natural, manly aroma. The veins on your body, especially your legs and feet, were prominent, pumping blood to your leg muscles plus bringing your blood close to the surface of your skin to cool. It made you look really sexy for an old geezer, really masculine. "You look cute today and you already smell good." You smiled at me. I wore a regular T-shirt and shorts similar to yours.

We hiked over to the mall. It was a hot walk; by the time we got there, we were both very sweaty. The air-conditioning felt great as did the cool, smooth floor tile on our bare feet. We were both thirsty, so we got some soft-drinks from one of those food-vendor booths. We then just started to leisurely stroll around and window-shop. I did actually go there to get some bedding: sheets and also plastic undersheets. You knew what those were for; indeed, we had lots of fun previously with them. It was getting near lunch time and we were both hungry. We stopped at a pizza and pasta joint in the mall and chowed down on big plates of baked mostacholi and had another big drink each. While we were eating, I moved my bare foot onto yours under the table, caressing you. You looked up and gave me a big smile. I love your warm smile--it makes me turn to Silly-Putty.

You took your other foot and did the same to me. Your callused sole felt nice stroking the top of my foot as did your gentle toes. We has finished eating quickly before either of us got too worked up and went back out into the mall. We went to the bedding store; I went in and you waited outside. When I came back out with the package, you had seated yourself on a bench. Your legs were outstretched and your feet were crossed at the ankle and such that I could see your soles. They had gotten completely black with dirt from both outside and in the mall. You knew I found dirty feet a turn-on from the "care-free, don't give a shit that feet are getting dirty so long as they're free from hot, uncomfortable shoes" attitude. I walked over to you. "I know you're sitting like that on purpose."

"I know you know." You gave me a devious, grin.

I could tell you were horny and so was I. "Ready to go?" I asked suggestively.

"Where to?"

"You know where...back to your place. Matilda will help out if she's home."

"I've got to take a leak." You teased me like that implying you wanted to go to the men's room.

"Nope," I interrupted. "You're gonna need to hold it."

"Then let's go before I burst." You got up and started to walk. I followed. We walked through the mall doors and the hot air hit us like a wall. The temperature had risen to the lower 80s as forecast. We walked got back to your place, and went to the back door. We were both sopping wet. Our shirts had huge sweat stains on them and out hair was matted and damp. As I put my personal key into your lock, you leaned on my shoulders, bent down a bit placing your nose under my right armpit and inhaled deeply. I stopped moving to let you enjoy it. You exhaled and inhaled deeply again. "God, you really smell good...so good," you told me.

"I know!" I boasted confidently. I turned the doorknob, turned around, and led you inside my the hand. After I closed the door, I leaned back against it, shutting it, then just raised by arms over my head and closed my eyes. I didn't have to tell you what do. You came forward and put your face right into my right, stained armpit. You took the shirt material into you mouth and sucked on it, sucking out my sweat. I moaned with erotic pleasure. Having you there sucking my sweat with your face buried in my raunchy pit was a huge turn-on. My cock was already stiff, straining against my shorts, and oozing precum. I couldn't stand it any more--I pulled off your shirt, then you pulled off mine. I bent down and licked your nipples and chest. They were deliciously sweaty and salty. You stopped me.

"Let's get the bed ready. Remember, I've still gotta pee...really bad now." We took the plastic sheets to the bedroom, pulled off the covers and sheets, and put on the plastic ones quickly.

"You know, I've got to relieve myself soon too." You came over to me, planted your lips on mine, shoving your hot tongue into my mouth. We started undoing our shorts. They dropped to the floor; neither of us was wearing underwear. Our cocks popped out, straight and stiff. We played with each other, stroking each other. More precum came from my piss-slit and it made a good lube. I motioned you to lay on the bed. There you were: a beautiful male specimen, all hot, sweaty and smelly. Precum was oozing from your dick too and has leaked down to your thigh forming an unbroken string. I dove into your hairy armpits. You were really wet there and the odor was strong and raunchy--I loved it.

"Yeah...lick those pits out, you fuckin' piece of scum," you told me. I love it when you verbally abuse me like that. "You sick fuck...look at you, you like my hot man-stench, don't you?" You words were making me so hot. We were belly-to-belly, humping each other, cock-to-cock, sliding around in the puddle of precum that has been oozing constantly from both of us. "Yeah...lick me clean, lick every fuckin' hair clean...god-damned scum lover." I recognized my bodies signs; I was close to cuming. Your right pit was now soaked with my spit, I switched over to your left. "You just can't get enough, can you? You'd better clean that one just as good as you cleaned the other one. Man...than feels so fuckin' good." The fresh, strong odor of your other pit energized me; it pushed me over the edge. I removed my face from your pit to look you straight on.

"Ugh...ugh," and with one final thrust, "UuuuGHHH!! Brown Onion I'm commming" I screamed as I lifted myself slightly off of you. My cum shot out between us, hitting your face, spurt after spurt of glorious, hot cum. By this time, you had gotten so worked up that my cuming was almost enough to put you over the edge.

"KEEP IT GOING Purple Onion!" you commanded me. With my dick still outputting cum in aftershocks, I slopped my hand into it and grabbed your cock. I gave you slow, steady strokes. The look on your cum-covered face told me you were very close to ejaculating. It only took a few strokes. "UugHHH!!" you screamed as the first spurt of your hot cum shot out of your dick, hitting me in the chest; the second and third spurts coated my belly, the remainder fell back landing on your already cum-covered chest. Your cum was dripping off me back onto you; you had cum buckets. I collapsed onto you, our cum mixing together between us, slippery and warm. We were sweatier now than when we had started.

"Fuckin' A, Brown Onion." I giggled uncontrollably. I always got the giggles after ejaculating from a hot scene because it felt _so_ damned good, such a release. I playfully smeared my cum on your face around, around your lips. You sucked it off my fingers. After a few minutes, I slid off you and down...down to your hot, filthy feet. I gazed upon your large, weathered feet. "Man, your feet look beautiful: nice and black with dirt, filth, and grime...they look so natural that way...they look so hot." Each toe had its own blackness on the bottom. "Your toes are so large and beautiful, so succulent-looking." I began to caress them, feeling their wonderful, sculpted, manly form.

"Go ahead," you started, "I know you want them. You want to lick my feet clean, don't you?"

"Oh, yeah...very badly," I answered, my eyes closing, envisioning myself licking them in my mind's eye. My cock was getting hard again.

"Well then, do it! What are you waiting for? A fuckin' invitation?" That was all I need to hear. I thrust my face against both your dirty soles and inhaled deeply. Of course, from being bare all day, they didn't stink at all, but it was as if I had put my nose to the ground and smelled the gutters of the streets, the wonderful, different mix of smells of dirt, grime, spit, garbage, and other wastes. I started slowly by just kissing your soles all over and your toes, wanting to make this foot-sex scene last as long as possible. Finally, I outstretched an eager tongue and plastered it against the ball of your left foot, pulling up slowly. Your skin was callused and very tough as the soles of a man's feet should be. "Ohhh...yeah, man," you moaned out as waves of sheer pleasure traveled up your body from your feet. "That feels so fuckin' nice. Lick my feet, you hot foot slave." I licked at your foot again and my spit had moistened up some of the dirt. My spit was becoming dark as was my tongue. It felt a bit gritty in my mouth, but it was wonderful. I began stroking my cock. "You like that too, don't you? Look at yourself...what an utter low-life. You're down at my dirty feet licking them clean." I loved the subservient nature of this act...the thought made me so hot. By now I had made a clean spot on the ball of your foot, so I moved my way down toward your heel. The dirty spit was running down your foot and it was all over my face. Your heel was very hard and incredibly encrusted with dirt. I was working very hard with my tongue to clean it for you, my lover. I not only was licking your foot, but I was sucking the skin. I also licked your ankle. God! I loved a man's ankles...so damn sexy...just made for a tongue to glide over. I worked my way back up your foot and had done a good job of getting much of the dirt off. I saved your filthy toes for last. I took each one into my mouth in turn staring with your small toe. I sloshed my tongue all over it and sucked it for all I was worth.

I loved the wisps of hair on your manly toe-knuckles; it reminded me that I was sucking a _man's_ toes. Your big toe was the best. It had a hard-as-leather callused spot on the bottom and was wonderfully filthy. I also made sure to lick any dirt out from between your toes. I was rock hard and I had a ridiculous precum flow onto the carpet. You were just lying back enjoying every second of the sensations, gently stroking yourself. Any tension you had in your body was literally being sucked away. "Are you done with that one?"

"Mmmm," was all I did.

"What a good foot-slave you are; thank you. For your reward, you get to lick my other foot clean."

"MMMM!" You shoved your other foot in front of me and I started again. It was just as good as the first. When I was finished, I sat up, very satisfied, my face covered in dirty spit.

"I've got to piss really bad now. Come on back up here and help me out, won't you?" I jumped up at the offer.

"Yes, I've got to piss too...plus something more, I said as a smirk crossed my face.

"How long?"

"Mmmm...'bout two days, and I feel like there's a beltway backup inside my colon."

"Me too actually." My eyes widened at what going to be in store. We switched places with me now under you, your cock aimed right at me. Your cock was staring me in the face, semi hard and veiny, oozing precum out the end. I touched your piss slit and spun a golden thread of precum from your cockhead to my lips.

"Tasty," I said and smiled. You loved the way I smiled--so sweet and yet so perverted.

"I have something even tastier for you," you said, and bent over to drop your penis into my waiting mouth. I started sucking on your cock like a calf sucks on its mother's udder. But instead of cow's milk, my lips were greeted with the warm salty taste of your golden urine. Your bladder felt like it was ready to burst, and it was hard for you to get more than a couple of drops out. But then the drops became a slow trickle, and suddenly the flood gates opened.

"Mmmmmmm," I moaned contently as you fed me an ever increasing stream of your piss waste. Now you were emptying into me with the force of a flushing toilet. It was all I could do to swallow gulps of piss juice without spilling any, but it became a hopeless cause.

Before long the yellow piss was spilling out over my chin. God, did that ever look so hot and erotic. Then finally I had to pull my mouth away to gasp for air. Immediately your heavy stream of piss spilled all over me, and I coughed a full mouthful of warm yellow liquid out of my mouth all over your chest.

You laughed. "You sick fucker," you admonished me, and I began laughing and rubbing your piss all over my arms, chest, and stomach. The golden fluid collected in small pools on the plastic sheet around the outline of my legs and crotch.

Gradually you was aware of my throbbing penis against your ass crack. "You're such a sick perverted fucker," you said, then grabbed my cock in your fist. "I really really have to go, Don," I begged you. "It's hurting so bad and I don't think I can hold it any more."

You loved it when I begged like that. It made you so horny and hot for me. And it made you want to take our sex over the edge, to a new, even sicker plateau. As my cock kept pushing up against your ass I had an idea. You took a broad swipe at the piss soaking in a great pool on my chest, and liquid dripping from your hand, you grabbed my cock and started stroking it with your piss. My cock was now super hard and slick and wet with urine, and you grabbed hold of my shaft and led my cockhead to the tip of yout asshole. Taking a deep breath, you took my dick and forced it slowly but forcefully up into your hole. Instantly you felt a sharp pain shoot up into your groin. Your eyes watered. My cock split your spinchter ring and in one fell swoop slid all the way into your ass up to the base of my balls.

"What do you want me to do, fuck you?" I asked, open-eyed.

"No," you replied, "I want you to relieve yourself!"

My mouth dropped open at the suggestion. We had done that before and we both loved it. I thought at first that you were kidding, but the pain in my side and the pressure in my bladder was too much for me to waste time arguing with you. I had been holding back for so long, it took you a tremendous force of effort just to relax my groin enough to let the piss well up in my cock. But slowly, the warm sweet sensation of impending release welled up in my groin and pushed unrelentingly against my piss slit. Before I knew it, I was exploding into your ass, filling your gut with warm, delicious urine.

As I releived myself inside you, we looked deeply into each other's eyes, taking full measure of all the lustful perversity we were about to unleash on one another. I just laid there, my only feeling of relief as my bladder emptied and your gut filled. You were beginning to groan as the pressure inside you increased.

"Uugghh...ohhh...I feel so full...I can't fucking stand it, fill me more!" you cried. I had all I could do to not think about this incredible scene happening so my cock could stay semi-limp and I could continue to pee. Finally, though, my stream slowed to a halt. We both just stayed there, frozen for a moment, relishing what had just happened and thinking about what was about to happen. I was now allowing myself the luxury of an erection. "Ohhh... your hot piss is boiling my guts; it hurts...it fucking hurts so good!"

"Hold it Brown Onion, man--hang on to it!" I ordered you.

"I can't for much longer...I can't."

"Pull off me, man, and quickly!" You heaved yourself up off my steel cock and a little of my piss splashed out of your ass onto my cock and balls before you clenched your ass shut. "Turn around!" I said. The urgency added a wonderful, almost disturbing sense of excitement to the air. Instead of kneeling, you crouched up onto your feet. The urine on the bed pooled around them. You managed to turn around so that your sweaty, hairy ass was facing me. I stroked it, rubbing my hands through the damp, matted hair. I ran my finger up through your ass crack. You let out an "MMM!" as the sensation shot up your spinal column.

"I can't hold...it," you cried, strain evident in your voice. I was getting so hot for what was about to happen, what I was about to experience. It would be so dirty, so perverse, so fucking sick; this made it all the more exciting.

Finally I shouted, "Do it! Do it, man! Let go...use me as your fucking toilet!" A split-second later, you relaxed your sphincter: an explosion of hot piss and shit blasted out of your ass landing all over my belly and chest.

"OHHHHHH!" you bellowed finally being able to release the immense pressure. The shit had become very diluted by my piss, very runny. The hot, stinking mixture began streaming down the side of my body and onto the bed. The stench wafted up off me, filling the room; it was incredible. The mixture was accompanied by spurts of gas, followed by somewhat firmer, but still fairly loose shit from deeper inside your bowels; it began piling up on my belly. As blobs of shit fell from your ass, they hit the pool of the looser mixture and splashed some up onto my face. "PHEW!...man, it feels so fucking good to get that out...ohhh!" By this time, I was beyond being turned-on; I had lost control of my senses. I was being swept away by waves of disgust, depravity, and perhaps insanity; but I didn't care.

"Slide back here, now!" I commanded you. Your sweaty, hairy, incredibly soiled anus was the center of my world now. You were surprised, but perversely delighted by my order. I plunged my tongue right into your anal opening. I was greeted by the strong, bitter taste of your shit. It by far dominated the taste of my piss. Your shit and piss-covered hole-hairs brushed all over my face, tangling with my beard, transferring fecal matter to it, and coated my nose. The odor was so bad, it was good...no, it was great!

"Ssss!...oooooh...ughhhh" you moaned as the attentions of my masterful, subservient tongue glided and probed, cleaning your anus up as far into your body as I could get it. I loved tongue-fucking your hot man-hole in general, feeling the warm, soft flesh beyond your sphincter, but this was incredible. The tastes, the smells of a hot, male shit-hole in all it vile glory. You had begun playing with the pile of shit you left on my belly. You smeared it all over my, covering my skin, then you globbed in onto my cock and began jerking me off using your hot shit as lube. You coated be really well until there wasn't a white patch of skin anywhere to be found on my abdomen. I also reached around you and slopped my hands into your shit, then reached up, stroking your chest, leaving beautiful streaks of brown, chocolatey shit behind. I also started jerking you off in return. Both of us were oozing precum like there was no tomorrow and as far as I was concerned, there wasn't. You had begin rhythmically riding my face as I was tongue-fucking your shit-hole, all in lock-step with jerking each other off. You let out a wicked fart right into my face: "Aw, man," you mumbled, then broke an ever bigger wind. That one was a "wet fart" depositing a fresh mixture of piss and shit right into my eager mouth.

"Mmmm," I moaned as I sucked it away, swallowing it into my belly. With my free hand, I grabbed you around your waist and pulled you ever so tight against my face. I wanted my tongue to get so far up into your bowels that I wanted it to emerge from the other end in your mouth! That fresh bit of funky shit-piss mixture sent me over the edge. My shit-covered cock began explosively shooting hot semen onto your chest and face. Other spurts landed on your throbbing cock mixing with the piss and shit already there. You started spewing forth your hot man juice, some of it landing back onto my cock, which was still spewing semen. Our mutual ejaculation spasms finally subsided, and you fell off me, landing to my side, sloshing into the plentiful amount of our waste on the bed. My face was covered your shit as was each hair of my beard. I licked your shit off my lips and swallowed. The foul, bitter taste of you lingered, constantly reminding me of our perverted acts. This was truly the ultimate expression of disgust. It was heaven. "That was fucking incredible, man...fuckin' A," I said, a bit winded. A few minutes passed as we just laid there, panting, sweating like crazy. But I wasn't done yet. "You know, I haven't gone in two days, remember?" We both lied there in the explosion of my bowels, beyond disgust, beyond filth, as if we had both been born and bred in a sewer, the foul smells caressing our bodies, the liquid waste all around us as if were the internal organs of some foul disgusting creature that had been slit open and its guts allowed to spill out all over the bed.

As soon as I reminded you that I hadn't gone in two days, you immediately felt surprisingluy energized, like we had dragged ourselves this far into perversion, and there was nothing left to do but to pull ourselves all the way down.

You traded places with me on the bed, sinking into the pool of waste on the sheet. I straddled your chest. You looked into my eyes.

"I want to share my filth with you," I announced lovingly. I bent over and kissed you ever so lightly with my brown, smeared lips. The foul smell of shit and piss rose from my breath and enveloped your senses. You were turned on like you had never been turned on before. My foul tasting tongue probed deeply into your mouth. My shit-encrusted beard tickled the end of your goatee. Our mustaches meshed like brillo as our tongues alternately smeared and licked up the bowel waste on our faces.

"I have something more for you my sweet," I cooed into your ear, as I raised my ass ever so lightly off your stomach, and you could feel the strain of my muscles in my stomach, first tightening, then letting go.

I gazed plaintively into your eyes as my gut released its contents onto your stomach. You could feel the warm, soft tip of my shit press down against your navel. It pressed firmer now, and wider, and warmer. You knew without looking that this was going to be one of the biggest dumps I had ever taken. Just from the look in my eyes, you knew it was massive, that it would come close to devouring you. We loved every second of it.

When I finally got up to show you what I had done, you looked down to see a huge pile of steaming hot, dark, brown shit-turds covering your stomach. It was wonderous...so firm, so cylindrical, like a huge pile of sausage almost. "I want to take a moment to admire this," you said, urging me not to touch it for a few moments so that you could take it all in--all the filth and perversion of having another man's humongous pile of shit dumped right there on your belly!

"Before we do anything else," you said, "I want to be your toilet paper." I looked at you and smiled lovingly. "Yes," was all I said, as I turned around and thrust my ass into your face. It was the most wonderful beautifully dirty ass you had ever seen. My ass hair was all matted down and brown from shit smear. There was still a piece of shit, a couple of inches long, that was still caught inside my ass when the rest of my load had dumped out on you. It was this piece of turd that you attacked first with your mouth. You pulled my ass down against your face, and opened your mouth and bit that turd right off the end of my ass, taking it all in one piece in your mouth, mashing it between your lips and tongue, and swallowing it in one bite.

"My God!" I thought. "You've done it! You've done the unthinkable! You've eaten another man's shit! The one thing that society finds the most vile act of all. You would be less ostrasized and condemned if you had murdered someone than to have committed this most unforgivable of all acts! And you enjoyed it! More than that, you became one with it. You *were* vile and disgusting and I loved you for it!"

You finished eating out my ass, and licking clean all my individual ass hairs, when I lifted myself up off of you, and bent over to give you a kiss, to join my mouth with yours and eat my own shit out of your mouth, licking at your lips, trading shit-flavored saliva.

Then I rose up and gave you another view of the massive pile of excrement lying, waiting, so inviting on your stomach.

"It's time we did something about this, Brown Onion" I said.

"Do anything...do EVERYthing!" you begged. I plunged my raging hard cock into the pile of shit and began to fuck it with abandon, thrusting myself into the warm, smooth mound.

"Awwww!...Mmmm..." I moaned as my cock disappeared into the stinking brown mass. Its texture was wonderfully stimulating. I lowered myself more, laying in my own shit, pressing against you, squashing the pile between us. Our shitty lips met again and we kissed passionately. I rubbed my hands along your sides smearing the shit that had been pushed out by my weight up and down your body. I mixed it with the pools of brown excrement slime on the bed, slopping up your body really well. I lifted up off of you a bit. As it did, the creamy shit was stuck to both of us, especially you since your chest was much hairier, as if you had pulled a peanut butter sandwich apart. I slopped my hand into the shit around your nipples, twirling it, covering my hand and fingers. I laid back down on you and brought my coated hand up to your mouth. You started lapping the shit off my hand and fingers. I joined you in your mission, our tongues gliding over my hand, over each other, absolutely delighting in consuming my bodily waste. The level of perversion and depravity were beyond anything either of us could have dreamed; we had lost all control of ourselves. It was too much for you, lying there, being your lover's toilet, having me hump your belly, fucking the shit. You started to ejaculate, expelling your semen into the shit near my cock.

"Ugghhhhh!...Ohhhh!" you cried as your cum ripped through your penis. I, feeling the immense force of your spurting ejaculate and your hot cum sliming up the shit under my cock sent me over the edge.

I through my head up: "Ugghhhh!" My savage scream echoed off buildings far away as my cock dumped and continued to dump buckets of hot man juice between us, mixing with yours and the shit. I slid off of you to one side, sliding into a pool of urine on the bed. It had cooled a bit and felt good against my hot, sweaty body. I rested my head against your shit-covered shoulder. We were breathing heavily, exhausted, spent of everything out bodies could output: piss, shit, and cum. We drifted off to sleep. We knew would be repeating this scene again and again, and looked forward to inviting the other brothers-in-bowels.

I have to say this myself.
I have been neglecting my duties in visiting Mr. Brown Onion.
I have not seen him since before the pandemic.
I hope he forgives me.

I have shit in other people's mouth since then but no seems to appreciate that like Mr. Brown Onion.