Re: the NEW NEW NEW Mike O'Meara Show thread
Posted by:
Gigantic Wall O Text
()
Date: January 26, 2017 11:39PM
OSHITE Wrote:
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> The Most Boring Thing Ever Written
> I am writing something. Yes, I plan to make it the
> most boring thing ever written. I go to the store.
> A car is parked. Many cars are parked or moving.
> Some are blue. Some are tan. They have windows. In
> the store, there are items for sale. These include
> such things as soap, detergent, magazines, and
> lettuce. You can enhance your life with these
> products. Soap can be used for bathing, be it in a
> bathtub or in a shower. Apply the soap to your
> body and rinse. Detergent is used to wash clothes.
> Place your dirty clothes into a washing machine
> and add some detergent as directed on the box.
> Select the appropriate settings on your washing
> machine and you should be ready to begin.
> Magazines are stapled reading material made with
> glossy paper, and they cover a wide variety of
> topics, ranging from news and politics to business
> and stock market information. Some magazines are
> concerned with more recreational topics, like
> sports card collecting or different kinds of
> hairstyles. Lettuce is a vegetable. It is usually
> green and leafy, and is the main ingredient of
> salads. You may have an appliance at home that can
> quickly shred lettuce for use in salads. Lettuce
> is also used as an optional item for hamburgers
> and deli sandwiches. Some people even eat lettuce
> by itself. I have not done this. So you can
> purchase many types of things at stores.
> If I drive around, I sometimes notice the houses
> and buildings all around. There are also pieces of
> farm land that are very large. Houses can be built
> from different kinds of materials. The most common
> types are brick, wood, and vinyl or synthetic
> siding. Houses have lawns that need to be tended.
> Lawns need to be mowed regularly. Most people use
> riding lawnmowers to do this. You can also use a
> push mower. These come in two varieties:
> gas-powered and manual. You don’t see manual
> push-mowers very much anymore, but they are a good
> option if you do not want to pollute the air with
> smoke from a gas-powered lawnmower. I notice that
> many families designate the lawnmowing
> responsibility to a teenager in the household.
> Many of these teenagers are provided with an
> allowance for mowing the yard, as well as
> performing other chores, like taking out the
> trash, washing the dishes, making their bed, and
> keeping the house organized. Allowances are small
> amounts of money given by parents to their
> children, usually on a weekly basis. These usually
> range from 5 dollars to 15 dollars, sometimes even
> 20 dollars. Many parents feel that teenagers can
> learn financial responsibility with this system.
> Now I will talk about farm land. Farm land can be
> identified by some common features. They almost
> always consist of a very large patch of dirt with
> small green plants lined up in very long rows. You
> may sometimes see farm equipment riding over these
> rows, like tractors or combines. These machines
> help farmers grow more crops in less time. They
> are a very helpful invention. Some different types
> of crops are soybeans, cotton, corn, tomatoes,
> tobacco, and lettuce (which I mentioned earlier).
> Most crops are used as food, and can be defined as
> either fruits or vegetables. Some are commonly
> eaten raw, after being rinsed in water to remove
> any dirt. Some are often cooked, which helps give
> them a more pleasant taste and makes them easier
> to chew. A very versatile vegetable is the potato.
> It can be eaten raw, or it can be cooked in a
> variety of ways. They can be baked, and many
> people like to add butter to them. They can be
> mashed, and a lot of times brown gravy or milk
> gravy is poured on top of them. They can be cut
> into thin strips and fried. Typically a large
> amount of grease is required to prepare potatoes
> in this style, but they are easy to make and easy
> to eat. You can order them at several fast-food
> restaurants. Potatoes can also be boiled, stewed,
> and scalloped. There is a wide variety of options
> available to you when cooking potatoes.
> Some other types of crops grown on farm land are
> used for other purposes. Cotton is used to make
> clothing (which I also mentioned earlier). It is a
> very versatile and inexpensive material for
> clothes. Such items as shirts, pants, socks, and
> underwear can be made from cotton. The process of
> converting cotton from a cotton plant to clothing
> is fairly complicated. Today, cotton is harvested
> more efficiently through the use of the cotton
> gin, invented by Eli Whitney many years ago.
> Tobacco is another type of crop. It is used in
> making cigarettes. A lot of people smoke
> cigarettes, even though many medical sources have
> identified them as harmful to people’s health.
> Warnings are printed on cigarette packages
> reminding people of possible dangers resulting
> from smoking. Cigarettes are available in several
> brands, including Marlboro, Salem, and Virginia
> Slims. There is a brand called Kool, but I don’t
> know whether they are still available at most
> outlets. Tobacco farming is a large industry, and
> currently there is debate about it. Recently the
> government decided on some regulations that cost
> tobacco companies a large amount of money.
> If you notice, some farm lands have animals living
> on them. Most of these are cows, and there are
> also pigs, sheep, and goats living on farms. Some
> are raised for the milk they provide. This milk
> goes through several processes to ensure that it
> is not contaminated before it is made available to
> consumers at stores (which I mentioned earlier).
> Another use for farm animals is meat. Three
> popular types of meat are beef, pork, and chicken.
> Beef comes from cows. Pork comes from pigs.
> Chicken comes from chickens, but you probably knew
> that. These animals are raised to become plump and
> healthy, then they are killed, sometimes at
> slaughter houses. The meat is then removed from
> their bodies, cleaned, and made available at a
> variety of stores and restaurants. Sometimes this
> process can seem gross, but it is part of an
> advanced ecological food chain on earth. Just like
> birds eat worms and tigers eat deer, human beings
> eat cows and pigs. The main difference is that we
> don’t eat animals raw. We cook the meat to
> remove blood, fat, and germs from it. We also
> season our meat with salt or different kinds of
> sauces. The end result is food that is very tasty
> and is healthy for us.
> Farmers do not like trespassers. If a farmer sees
> one, he will sometimes shoot at them with a
> shotgun that he owns. Trespassing is against the
> law. Laws are created by government to prevent
> people from living in fear. They are meant to
> provide safety for citizens. Our government in
> America consists of a legislative branch, an
> executive branch, and a judicial branch. The
> legislative branch makes laws based on the
> concerns of citizens they represent. The executive
> branch consists of the President. This person
> enforces the law, and he has certain other duties
> like declaring war and approving bills prepared by
> members of the legislative branch. The President
> is also considered the leader of our country. The
> judicial branch interprets the laws. This branch
> consists of the courts and the trials held in
> them. Here a judge and jury determine from
> evidence presented by lawyers whether someone is
> guilty of breaking a law. Initial law enforcement
> takes place among police officers. They are the
> first people to encounter situations where a law
> is being broken. If a criminal (law-breaker)
> becomes too violent or hostile, they will use guns
> or mace or nightsticks to administer immediate
> punishment. Their goal is to bring the criminal
> under control, so that he can receive a punishment
> determined by members of the judicial branch of
> government. Punishments mostly include time in
> jail, but they can also include fines and, in
> extreme cases, the death penalty. There is
> controversy surrounding the death penalty.
I didn't even read that