My band was playing for a group of retards at a hospital which I call the tard farm and I called my wife Sharon. I told her to get William over here immediately because I found a group of friends for him. He fits in great at the zoo of retards. They tried to beat him with their crutches and run him over with their motorized wheel chairs but now they've accepted him as one of their own. I between sets tooting my trumpet I like to peg footballs at their heads and watch them go into fits of rage. Next time I'm going to teach them how to play fetch.

Good try, but the real tooter can't find the shift key on his keyboard. Use a lowercase t next time. Otherwise, I believed it.