i need some good ideas, any body got any?

Stay at home for the next month without contacting the office. When you come back, tell your replacement "surprise! I still work here!"

FUNKY FRESH Wrote:
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> i need some good ideas, any body got any?


Yes.

Buy a Snickers from the vending machine. Run it under hot water for a little bit and make it look like a turd. Set it next to someone's chair in the office (someone who can take a joke). Let everyone else know what is coming.

Watch the hilarity ensue.

Re-program someone's speed dial so that it calls goofy phone numbers.

If you have access to their computer, make up an error page in Power Point and put it full screen on their computer.

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
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> If you have access to their computer, make up an
> error page in Power Point and put it full screen
> on their computer.


Or, change their Windows Start-Up sound to a 120 second blank wav file. We did this at work long ago and none of the tech support people could figure out why it was taking so long for the machine to boot. They ended up just reinstalling windows.

Go to work dressed like this guy and watch the comedic relief wash over the office boredom.



.
Attachments:

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > If you have access to their computer, make up
> an
> > error page in Power Point and put it full
> screen
> > on their computer.
>
>
> Or, change their Windows Start-Up sound to a 120
> second blank wav file. We did this at work long
> ago and none of the tech support people could
> figure out why it was taking so long for the
> machine to boot. They ended up just reinstalling
> windows.


Holy Shit! Nobody told them??

Ha!

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Or, change their Windows Start-Up sound to a 120
> second blank wav file. We did this at work long
> ago and none of the tech support people could
> figure out why it was taking so long for the
> machine to boot. They ended up just reinstalling
> windows.

That would be the best virus ever.

One time I set up an e-mail account and posed as a girl one of my colleagues met at a business meeting. I arranged for him to meet-up. He canceled a previous engagement to hook up with this girl....at a gay bar.

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
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> One time I set up an e-mail account and posed as a
> girl one of my colleagues met at a business
> meeting. I arranged for him to meet-up. He
> canceled a previous engagement to hook up with
> this girl....at a gay bar.


WTL = Online Predator

Step 1: Take a screen cap of their desktop via the Print Screen button.
Step 2: Paste it into MS Paint. Save it.
Step 3: Set the image as their wallpaper.
Step 4: Hide the actual icons.
Step 5: ????
Step 6: PROFIT!

If you can't hide the icons, just turn off "auto arrange" and drag them off-screen. I gave my computer teacher in high school a fit with this one.

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13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
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>
>
> Holy Shit! Nobody told them??


No, and it pretty much wasted an entire morning while they sat there troubleshooting and reinstalling stuff. It was pretty evil, lol

TheMeeper Wrote:
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> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> >
> >
> > Holy Shit! Nobody told them??
>
>
> No, and it pretty much wasted an entire morning
> while they sat there troubleshooting and
> reinstalling stuff. It was pretty evil, lol

Were they able to call up the Task Manager? What kind of IT department did this place have, anyway?

Very large quantities of ballons or packing peanuts in a small cubicle. Tape over the mouse's optical sensor.

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
----------------------------------------
>
> Were they able to call up the Task Manager? What
> kind of IT department did this place have, anyway?


I was a consultant working on-site at a federal facility, the help desk folks were federal FTE's. That should explain a whole lot right there.

Stick some tuna in the back of one of his drawers; he'll be spraying lysol and febreeze for days trying to figure out where the smell is coming from.

Or, for a more public prank, stretch some clear saran wrap over the toilets in the restroom.

They had icons when you were in high school?

MrMephisto Wrote:
> If you can't hide the icons, just turn off "auto
> arrange" and drag them off-screen. I gave my
> computer teacher in high school a fit with this
> one.

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Stick some tuna in the back of one of his drawers; he'll be spraying lysol and febreeze for days trying to figure out where the smell is coming from.


We did this to a co-worker, in the same office mentioned above. He had a notoriously messy, cluttered office. Every now and then, one of us would take a food item and hide it in his office. Behind books on shelves, in the backs of drawers, behind computer equipment, etc. The weird thing was- it NEVER smelled. But a few years later our office moved, requiring everyone to pack up all their stuff into boxes. And suddenly he was all like "WTF??" as he kept finding old shriveled up pieces of fruit, dried up half-eaten sandwiches, moldy donuts, etc. I remember there was a piece of cake that was hard as a brick, but almost perfectly mummified. He was totally freaked out and exasperated at all the crap he was finding, it was quite hilarious.

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> eesh Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> >
> > Stick some tuna in the back of one of his
> drawers; he'll be spraying lysol and febreeze for
> days trying to figure out where the smell is
> coming from.
>
>
> We did this to a co-worker, in the same office
> mentioned above. He had a notoriously messy,
> cluttered office. Every now and then, one of us
> would take a food item and hide it in his office.
> Behind books on shelves, in the backs of drawers,
> behind computer equipment, etc. The weird thing
> was- it NEVER smelled. But a few years later our
> office moved, requiring everyone to pack up all
> their stuff into boxes. And suddenly he was all
> like "WTF??" as he kept finding old shriveled up
> pieces of fruit, dried up half-eaten sandwiches,
> moldy donuts, etc. I remember there was a piece
> of cake that was hard as a brick, but almost
> perfectly mummified. He was totally freaked out
> and exasperated at all the crap he was finding, it
> was quite hilarious.




Try clam juice...horrible smell with no physical evidence. It'll have the cube smelling like a fish market in no time.

Genevieve Wrote:
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> Tape over the mouse's
> optical sensor.


+ 1

I like the tricks that aren't so overt.

If your office has drop ceilings, lift a tile and slide a cellphone up there. Have to ringer set kind of low, but not too low for the person in the office not to be able to hear it. It will drive them fucking crazy trying to figure out where the ringing is coming from.

Dude Wrote:
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> They had icons when you were in high school?
>
> MrMephisto Wrote:
> > If you can't hide the icons, just turn off
> "auto
> > arrange" and drag them off-screen. I gave my
> > computer teacher in high school a fit with this
> > one.

Yup. I can't remember if it was Windows 3.1 or Windows 98.

Thanks for making me feel old. :(

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13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

We had Telex when I was in high school.


MrMephisto Wrote:
>
> Yup. I can't remember if it was Windows 3.1 or
> Windows 98.
>
> Thanks for making me feel old. :(

When I was in elementary school, they were still using mimeographs instead of photo copiers.

Yeah, I remember that. They'd have to go run off a batch of copies for a test or something and half the time they were illegible.

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
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> When I was in elementary school, they were still
> using mimeographs instead of photo copiers.

Dude Wrote:
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> We had Telex when I was in high school.
>
>

Telex for the win!!!!

Dude Wrote:
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> Yeah, I remember that. They'd have to go run off
> a batch of copies for a test or something and half
> the time they were illegible.
>
> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > When I was in elementary school, they were
> still
> > using mimeographs instead of photo copiers.


And it was that purple ink that stank like chemicals (ah, the stank).

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dude Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Yeah, I remember that. They'd have to go run
> off
> > a batch of copies for a test or something and
> half
> > the time they were illegible.
> >
> > WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > When I was in elementary school, they were
> > still
> > > using mimeographs instead of photo copiers.
>
>
> And it was that purple ink that stank like
> chemicals (ah, the stank).

Isn't that back when they called the printouts "dittos" instead of "copies?"

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13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

I remember teachers calling copies "dittoes." I also remember looking at microfiche in the library....

I remember them calling them 'mimeos'.

MrMephisto Wrote:
> Isn't that back when they called the printouts
> "dittos" instead of "copies?"

I remember them being called both dittos and mimeos. The teachers even called the machine a "ditto maker."

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
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> I remember them being called both dittos and
> mimeos. The teachers even called the machine a
> "ditto maker."

Yeah!

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13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
>
> I was a consultant working on-site at a federal
> facility, the help desk folks were federal FTE's.
> That should explain a whole lot right there.


Jesus! No wonder Fed websites fold whenever there is a Denial of Service attack.

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Jesus! No wonder Fed websites fold whenever there is a Denial of Service attack.


A co-worker with an old PC encountered alot of problems trying to run Lotus Notes. One day she called these help desk nitwits to inform them that she was gettng an error that said "Windows is out of memory".

So the help desk came by and compressed her hard drive.

I'm not making that up.

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> >
> > Jesus! No wonder Fed websites fold whenever
> there is a Denial of Service attack.
>
>
> A co-worker with an old PC encountered alot of
> problems trying to run Lotus Notes. One day she
> called these help desk nitwits to inform them that
> she was gettng an error that said "Windows is out
> of memory".
>
> So the help desk came by and compressed her hard
> drive.
>
> I'm not making that up.



Lord. How'd that work out for her? Was everything 10 times slower than before?

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
------------------------------------------------------
>
> Lord. How'd that work out for her? Was everything 10 times slower than before?


It did nothing to solve the memory issues (obviously), and she was no longer able to use one of the databases stored on her hard drive.

IIRC, decompressing that drive took almost an entire day.

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> ----
> >
> > Lord. How'd that work out for her? Was
> everything 10 times slower than before?
>
>
> It did nothing to solve the memory issues
> (obviously), and she was no longer able to use one
> of the databases stored on her hard drive.
>
> IIRC, decompressing that drive took almost an
> entire day.


What a bunch of fucking morons. Sounds like they should be working for Geek Squad.

MrMephisto Wrote:

> Yup. I can't remember if it was Windows 3.1 or
> Windows 98.
>
> Thanks for making me feel old. :(


I remember sitting in the US. Geological Survey and everybody had a huge hard on because we were converting from IBM 486's to Pentium 90 computers and we all know that Pentium 90's were fucking light speed!!!

__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.

Anybody remember the computers in the early nineties that had a turbo button?

Remember when this was a "portable" computer?

eesh Wrote:
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> Anybody remember the computers in the early
> nineties that had a turbo button?

Yeah - and I remember those compaq portables also. Luckily they didn't last (as a viable option) too long, although they cost a bunch.

If you can’t model the past, where you know the answer pretty well, how can you model the future? - William Happer Cyrus Fogg Brackett Professor of Physics Princeton University

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
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> When I was in elementary school, they were still
> using mimeographs instead of photo copiers.

The blue/purple stuff smelled great.

I forget which language (Moroccan) changes the "L"'s to "M"'s. Just change it...

eesh Wrote:
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> Anybody remember the computers in the early
> nineties that had a turbo button?

What the hell did that do, anyway?

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13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> eesh Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Anybody remember the computers in the early
> > nineties that had a turbo button?
>
> What the hell did that do, anyway?

Just what the name implies... not sure why anyone would want it NOT pressed, other than to slow down DOS-based games or something.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turbo_button

I vaguely remember a computer that had one, but I thought the same thing.

Any reason you would NOT want the turbo on? Heat issues?

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13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

I only used it to mock coworkers and family members, like "WOAH WATSIT DONTTOUCHTHAT! It will make the machine TOO POWERFUL!!!!!!1!!11!!!"

It was because of DOS programs. If you ran with the turbo on, many DOS based programs that used the system cycles to determine the scroll speed would run so fast they were impossible. So you would only use turbo when you were running database programs and such, or the new Windows desktop operating system.

If you can’t model the past, where you know the answer pretty well, how can you model the future? - William Happer Cyrus Fogg Brackett Professor of Physics Princeton University

Cool, I CAN remember things that happened over ten years ago :)

Ahhh that portable computer. I remember my dad bringing something like that home for the weekend when I was a kid.

I remember being fascinated and when he wasn't looking I took the keyboard and typed in "show me what you can do" expecting a Jetsons like response from the all powerful machine. All I got was an undecipherable error message. I was so disappointed.

Many years ago, we had a woman in her mid-70's in our agency who had been
there since she was 17 years old. She was single, never married, wealthy,
and VERY cranky. She complained about everything. Every day, she'd walk
around the building during lunch with a clipboard writing down everything
she didnt like. (not enough water pressure in the drinking fountains for
instance) She'd give her list to the Maintenance Manager every afternoon
and was generally, a pain in the ass.

"Hot Pants" were the fashion rage at the time and she hit the roof when
some of the younger women started wearing them to work. She started bitching
to Senior Management and when they didnt act, she went to the Employees
Committee. They didnt do anything either. Finally, she complained to
Senior Management so much they got tired to listening to her and sent a
memo to all employees that "Hot Pants are not appropriate attire for the
workplace", etc.

A couple of guys went to a store in Georgetown and had some bumper stickers
made up that said, "Down With Hot Pants!" and snuck down to the parking lot
late in the afternoon and put them all over her car, (a Benz) being
careful to tape them with Scotch tape and not to mar the finish.

When she left to go home and saw what they had done, she got so mad that
she had to go back and report in to the Nurses Station because she was
afraid she was having a heart attack.

She never mentioned "Hot Pants" again, but unfortunately, the memo was
still in effect.

facepalm and lol at the same time

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A co-worker with an old PC encountered alot of
> problems trying to run Lotus Notes. One day she
> called these help desk nitwits to inform them that
> she was gettng an error that said "Windows is out
> of memory".
>
> So the help desk came by and compressed her hard
> drive.
>
> I'm not making that up.

I had a similar thing happen, and I think the fed agency's help desk is contracted. They may want to get their money back... a person couldn't get into a web site from a machine the help desk just messed with, and a couple of PCs in the same room could get into it just fine. The help desk's response? Contact the web site provider to see if the site is down.

pgens Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> I had a similar thing happen, and I think the fed
> agency's help desk is contracted. They may want
> to get their money back... a person couldn't get
> into a web site from a machine the help desk just
> messed with, and a couple of PCs in the same room
> could get into it just fine. The help desk's
> response? Contact the web site provider to see if
> the site is down.

On the flip side, I was doing some work for a client in the Federal government (not an IT person). She was complaining that the copy on the document I had sent over was too small for her to read and that I should re-do it. I then explained to her how to reset the Zoom function on Word.

pgens Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> TheMeeper Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Or, change their Windows Start-Up sound to a
> 120
> > second blank wav file. We did this at work
> long
> > ago and none of the tech support people could
> > figure out why it was taking so long for the
> > machine to boot. They ended up just
> reinstalling
> > windows.
>
> That would be the best virus ever.


why. only noobs have the startup sound

I'm a fan of putting a DVDA Vid in the Startup folder.

We had a guy at my office who managed to bring down our online system two years in a row on the busiest day of the year. The first time he accidentally entered a "C" (Cancel) to bring down the task instead of a "S" (Select). The next year he entered a "P" (Purge) because somehow he thought that was the option to Print. Amusingly, both times he came running over to me to report that the online just came down. Dude didn't even realize he did it. Duh.

The following year he arrived to work to find the "P" and "C" key caps had been pried from his keyboard. I held them for ransom for a couple of days before giving them back. The next year he took the hint and took the day off.

We called him at midnight back on 12/31/99 pretending to be operations staff asking for help with a Y2K issue where we were unable to bring the system down. A good time was had by all.

I thought this thread was bump worthy.

I once worked at a place where the employees liked to get together at a local favorite bar after work on Fridays. They were always playing jokes on one another. One day they found where one guy had gone off and left his badge in his computer unattended, so they decided to make use of the opportunity. They made a beautiful color reproduction of his photo on the badge then returned it to his worktable before he got back. The next day, one of them went off to the post office and picked up a sample from the stack of "WANTED" posters hanging up there for public display. From these two items, they manufactured a true-to Federal Standards poster with a rap sheet on it as long as an arm, topped with the hapless employee's very official mug shot, reproduced it, then one of them went off to the bar early on Friday, where he taped up the "Wanted" posters throughout the establishment.
The guy walked in later that afternoon, and all sounds in the bar stopped, and all heads suddenly turned to stare at him. Then somebody in the bar called the cops...

Same place, another time--I was working through the noon hour one day when suddenly the usual group of troublemakers rushed for the door and outside to the parking lot, where they started to gather around someone's pickup truck. They appeared to be trying to work on it to fix it.

The next day I learned what they had done to it. They had somehow rewired it so that every time the owner hit the brakes to slow down, as for a stop light, the horn--one of those big diesel foghorn style contraptions-- blasted off at the vehicle unlucky enough to be in front of him!

Same place, another victim...One guy had been on travel doing some installs in what was then the USSR, and had been picked up and jailed there for some unknown or imagined infraction, and the company had a hard time getting him out of jail and back stateside to the office for a long while. Not to worry---his fellow employees had ample time to work their magic--they got a bunch of steel bars and completely welded them around the perimeter of his personal workstation area so that it looked like a jail cell but with no door in or out. It was completely encased--he had to use a hack saw and / or a welding apparatus to try and cut away the bars when he returned to the office!

I was truly sorry when I left there for another contract, it was the most entertaining place I have ever worked at!