It was an amazing summer back packing throughout Europe. Saw some amazing sites, partied, met some cool people, and experienced some cool things. The next part of my adventure brought me to London. It was a gift to myself since London is pretty expensive. I splurged and ate some really good food which I ended up mixing with fast food later on, not a good idea. All of the sudden I felt a slight warm feeling the size of a quarter in my lower stomach. It got hotter, then my bowels started burning, and then I heard the royal rumble as I call it. I had to squeeze my butt cheeks together so I didn't shit myself. I needed a toilet. I started sweating like hell and I could barely stand. I had mere seconds until my shorts were dripping with shit. I found a McDonald's and ran to their bathroom. Fucking Europe, you have to pay for the toilet. Shit, didn't have any coins on me fuck I said to myself. I ran out the door and I could feel my ass getting wetter. Thankfully there was an alley a couple of buildings over. I duck behind a dumpster and pull my pants down and let out a ginormous liquid nuclear shit on the ground. You could see the waves and fumes rising from the pile. Flies started to congregate it was so bad. Amidst all of the commotion a waiter walks out the door and sees me with my pants down and asks "What the fuck you doing mate?" I told him that I had to take a shit really bad and he smiled and said "Cheers ol' chap, I've seen my fair share of close calls meself. May I have a look?" I shrugged and said sure. "Why that's an impressive pile of shit gov." I asked if he could get some toilet paper. He was so nice, he brought me napkins from the restaurant. By this point the smell was going down the alley and attracting attention. "Say you best beat feet and make a dash now, you're going to fancy the attention of a bobby." He did however shake my hand and thank me adding some ambiance to the alley way. He invited me back the next night and gave me 50% off my bill. He was pretty nice. Last I heard he fulfilled his dream of shoveling poop at the circus. Sometimes we Skype.

You are a very sick individual.

This post was too long, so I didn't read it.

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This post was too long, so I didn't read it.


I'll save you time Eesh. This is one of those shit folks from the DSM guide.

I was walking through Vansdislunden and saw a taxi driver taking a leak behind some bushes.

Pretty funny...mainly because of this 'ate some really good food'...I have been to London, that does not exist there.

I would put one dollar on the floor at a gas station bathroom, then shit on the dollar. You know tip for clean up, I hate dune coons. I wonder if they would keep the dollar. High school days.

London's got plenty of great food, even the pub food isn't that bad. Shit, I can name 3 places in Paddington Station that are okay.

I had a pretty similar experience once in Covent Garden. Got pretty sweaty for a minute there but thank god for crappy British wait service - no one slowed me down as I bolted for their bog.