We would want to reboot America in Safe Mode - with gun control, universal health care coverage, and without the weak, feeble-minded, inbred, racist confederate Tea Bagger trailer park scum polluting our gene pool.
In the first second, I would just walk up and blast the un-American confederates like Yucky24, WingNut, GunLover, Libs Hate America, etc. right in their fuck-ugly faces. No warning. No conversation.
Just Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam, Blam. Then I'd put another 30 round mag pull clip in my full auto .308 AR with the EOTech Zombie Apocalypse sight, and do it all over again until all the Tea Baggers were gone.
Put their heads on spikes as a warning to all enemies foreign and domestic.
Use their dried, stretched, and sewn skins as a big tapestry and their gallons of blood as paint to make a great big beautiful SOS sign you could see from outer space.
Use all that excessive fat from their obese bovine carcasses to make candles.
Use their ripe guts as fertilizer to start a fruit and vegetable garden.
Use the rest of their worthless carcasses as fish bait.
All guns and ammo, including my extensive arsenal, would then go into an armory under a lock and key placed in the hands of a wise and trusted Armorer - in the highly unlikely event that we need to activate the island militia to fight off some evil foreign invader like the headhunters from Hanna-Barbera's Danger Island with Jan Michael Vincent. Gun control. Well armed militia.
I'd immediately start a smoke house grill and distillery restaurant called Sporting Woodies. I would smoke/grill fish and vegetables so they were salty and yummy, and distill and sell various forms of drinkable and medicinal booze, etc.
All the hot chicks would be there because every night at Sporting Woodies would be ladies night and the women would drink for free - so all the guys would want the chicks and would pay for the chicks fully priced salty smoked food plus their own fully priced salty smoked food and booze, so I would rake it in.
I'd also start a wind and solar farm called Earth Energy Transglomerate - providing safe, affordable, and renewable green energy to power every hut on the island.
A significant amount of all my profits from Sporting Woodies/Earth Energy Transglomerate would go towards taxes to provide everyone with universal healthcare and all the kids a free public education right through grad school.
Life would be SW/EET.
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