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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Dad's Porn
Posted by:
bart nimphman
()
Date: June 10, 2013 06:31PM
when you were a kid how did you get a hold of your dad's porn ? kids today don't even need to steal dad's porn because of internet. but in my day we had to steal dads porn and not only that we had to make sure to rewind the tape back to the exact spot where it had last stopped so he wouldn't know anyone had tampered with it. now with dvd's and interenet kids are spoiled rotten on pron. I remember days when boys would build whole secret societies in the woods around stolen dad's playboys.
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
Olde Farte, II
()
Date: June 10, 2013 07:28PM
bart nimphman Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...we had to make sure to rewind the tape back to the exact
> spot where it had last stopped so he wouldn't know
When I was a kid there weren't any video tapes.
And Playboy was, albeit fascinating to a young teen, boobs and butts only.
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...we had to make sure to rewind the tape back to the exact
> spot where it had last stopped so he wouldn't know
When I was a kid there weren't any video tapes.
And Playboy was, albeit fascinating to a young teen, boobs and butts only.
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
WingNut
()
Date: June 10, 2013 07:30PM
Playboy
Penthouse
Penthouse Forum
Lamest of shit by todays jaded standards.
I never realized until years later that the Penthouse Forum letters were FAKE, FAKE, FAKE.....
Penthouse
Penthouse Forum
Lamest of shit by todays jaded standards.
I never realized until years later that the Penthouse Forum letters were FAKE, FAKE, FAKE.....
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
70's Kid
()
Date: June 10, 2013 07:46PM
When I was about 10, one of the ways we'd initiate the new kids into the neighborhood on Kings Park Drive was to tell them there was a stack of Playboys down in the sewer. Usually the entrance in the last block before Southampton. Of course, guys would muck around down there for an hour before giving up and coming topside smelling like shit...
It was all fun and games until the neighborhood bully caught wind of this rumor and came knocking on my door one night. With my parents at the dinner table, I spoke to him through the screen.
Bully: Hey...you the guy who knows where the skin mags are?
Me: (stupidly) Uh...yeah.
Bully: Well...where the fuck are they?
Me: Last sewer entrance on KP Drive before you get to Southampton...
Bully: If you know they're there...why are you keeping them down there?
Me: I dunno'...
Bully: Well, they're mine now, fucker.
{30 minutes later...another knock...a waft of shit in the air}
Bully: (Grabbing me up) Nice trick, dickface...(knuckles close on my face)
BLACKNESS
It was all fun and games until the neighborhood bully caught wind of this rumor and came knocking on my door one night. With my parents at the dinner table, I spoke to him through the screen.
Bully: Hey...you the guy who knows where the skin mags are?
Me: (stupidly) Uh...yeah.
Bully: Well...where the fuck are they?
Me: Last sewer entrance on KP Drive before you get to Southampton...
Bully: If you know they're there...why are you keeping them down there?
Me: I dunno'...
Bully: Well, they're mine now, fucker.
{30 minutes later...another knock...a waft of shit in the air}
Bully: (Grabbing me up) Nice trick, dickface...(knuckles close on my face)
BLACKNESS
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
nate
()
Date: June 10, 2013 07:48PM
WingNut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Playboy
> Penthouse
> Penthouse Forum
>
> Lamest of shit by todays jaded standards.
>
> I never realized until years later that the
> Penthouse Forum letters were FAKE, FAKE, FAKE.....
Did you ever experience the glory of woods porn? I think it's a worldwide phenomenon. It's when you were a kid and found someone's porn stash hidden in the woods somewhere. It was better than discovering gold. I remember walking through the woods near my grandma's house and finding a plastic garbage bag near a downed tree. And in it was a about 4 or 5 raunch mags, I think Hustler and Penthouse. A mysterious bag of glorious porn, and it was good. Another time we found a bunch of magaines stashed between rocks near a creek. That was pretty good too. I snuck back a week later, I was going to steal the whole stash and hide it in my room. But alas, someone else had already discovered the hidden treasure and took it.
Woods porn was great.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Playboy
> Penthouse
> Penthouse Forum
>
> Lamest of shit by todays jaded standards.
>
> I never realized until years later that the
> Penthouse Forum letters were FAKE, FAKE, FAKE.....
Did you ever experience the glory of woods porn? I think it's a worldwide phenomenon. It's when you were a kid and found someone's porn stash hidden in the woods somewhere. It was better than discovering gold. I remember walking through the woods near my grandma's house and finding a plastic garbage bag near a downed tree. And in it was a about 4 or 5 raunch mags, I think Hustler and Penthouse. A mysterious bag of glorious porn, and it was good. Another time we found a bunch of magaines stashed between rocks near a creek. That was pretty good too. I snuck back a week later, I was going to steal the whole stash and hide it in my room. But alas, someone else had already discovered the hidden treasure and took it.
Woods porn was great.
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
Nino Greasemanelli
()
Date: June 10, 2013 09:08PM
WingNut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I never realized until years later that the
> Penthouse Forum letters were FAKE, FAKE, FAKE.....
I can assure that all the stories written by me were correct. I even held back a little.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I never realized until years later that the
> Penthouse Forum letters were FAKE, FAKE, FAKE.....
I can assure that all the stories written by me were correct. I even held back a little.
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
abelard
()
Date: June 10, 2013 10:09PM
My eternal, non-ceasing quest for porn payed off when, at age 12, I found two skin mags in a trash bag someone had dumped on a lonely road. Treasure beyond price - I stashed it up under a creek bank for about 2 years till a flood washed it away.
Extra bonus story. When I was in grad school a close friend got cancer, the treatable kind but he was sufficiently worried that he asked a favor of me. Should things go wrong, I was to take a certain box of disks and toss it before anyone could clean out his desk. It was the first time I realized how serious his problem and how worried he was. It was surprisingly touching (so to speak).
Extra bonus story. When I was in grad school a close friend got cancer, the treatable kind but he was sufficiently worried that he asked a favor of me. Should things go wrong, I was to take a certain box of disks and toss it before anyone could clean out his desk. It was the first time I realized how serious his problem and how worried he was. It was surprisingly touching (so to speak).
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
WingNut
()
Date: June 10, 2013 10:12PM
Shit I never saw a real porn video until I was 16, a few years later everyone had a VHS, but back in the early 80's that stuff just wasn't around.
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
WOOT
()
Date: June 10, 2013 10:35PM
abelard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My eternal, non-ceasing quest for porn payed off
> when, at age 12, I found two skin mags in a trash
> bag someone had dumped on a lonely road. Treasure
> beyond price - I stashed it up under a creek bank
> for about 2 years till a flood washed it away.
that's some woods porn FTW. i know it didn't really happen, but i'd like to think your woods porn washed down stream for many miles, and in deposited itself somewhere dry so someone else could find the woods porn.
-------------------------------------------------------
> My eternal, non-ceasing quest for porn payed off
> when, at age 12, I found two skin mags in a trash
> bag someone had dumped on a lonely road. Treasure
> beyond price - I stashed it up under a creek bank
> for about 2 years till a flood washed it away.
that's some woods porn FTW. i know it didn't really happen, but i'd like to think your woods porn washed down stream for many miles, and in deposited itself somewhere dry so someone else could find the woods porn.
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
Vexxxed
()
Date: June 11, 2013 06:30AM
WingNut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Shit I never saw a real porn video until I was 16,
> a few years later everyone had a VHS, but back in
> the early 80's that stuff just wasn't around.
The Byrd Theatre in Arlington.
Early 70's they'd let anyone through the door that had $3 on them.
Deep Throat came out in '72 and by '76 a friend of mine had a copy and was showing it on the side of his house almost every weekend.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Shit I never saw a real porn video until I was 16,
> a few years later everyone had a VHS, but back in
> the early 80's that stuff just wasn't around.
The Byrd Theatre in Arlington.
Early 70's they'd let anyone through the door that had $3 on them.
Deep Throat came out in '72 and by '76 a friend of mine had a copy and was showing it on the side of his house almost every weekend.
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
bushy
()
Date: June 11, 2013 06:37AM
Yeah, back in the days when women had more hair between their legs than I have on my head now that I'm 50. LOL
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
localboob
()
Date: June 11, 2013 01:53PM
i had an older brother so i didn't need to find my pop's.
i do remember being so young that it blew my mind grown women had 'hair down there'
i do remember being so young that it blew my mind grown women had 'hair down there'
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
Memories
()
Date: June 11, 2013 11:30PM
nate Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WingNut Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Playboy
> > Penthouse
> > Penthouse Forum
> >
> > Lamest of shit by todays jaded standards.
> >
> > I never realized until years later that the
> > Penthouse Forum letters were FAKE, FAKE,
> FAKE.....
>
>
> Did you ever experience the glory of woods porn?
> I think it's a worldwide phenomenon. It's when
> you were a kid and found someone's porn stash
> hidden in the woods somewhere. It was better than
> discovering gold. I remember walking through the
> woods near my grandma's house and finding a
> plastic garbage bag near a downed tree. And in it
> was a about 4 or 5 raunch mags, I think Hustler
> and Penthouse. A mysterious bag of glorious porn,
> and it was good. Another time we found a bunch of
> magaines stashed between rocks near a creek. That
> was pretty good too. I snuck back a week later, I
> was going to steal the whole stash and hide it in
> my room. But alas, someone else had already
> discovered the hidden treasure and took it.
>
> Woods porn was great.
What a great post! When I was a kid, we found a bag of faded out skin mags in a black trash bag in bushes near our elementary school. Took them and put them under the trap door of our small cabin we built ourselves in the woods. Wasn't quite sure what we were looking at between a woman's legs, but we sure knew we liked it.
-------------------------------------------------------
> WingNut Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Playboy
> > Penthouse
> > Penthouse Forum
> >
> > Lamest of shit by todays jaded standards.
> >
> > I never realized until years later that the
> > Penthouse Forum letters were FAKE, FAKE,
> FAKE.....
>
>
> Did you ever experience the glory of woods porn?
> I think it's a worldwide phenomenon. It's when
> you were a kid and found someone's porn stash
> hidden in the woods somewhere. It was better than
> discovering gold. I remember walking through the
> woods near my grandma's house and finding a
> plastic garbage bag near a downed tree. And in it
> was a about 4 or 5 raunch mags, I think Hustler
> and Penthouse. A mysterious bag of glorious porn,
> and it was good. Another time we found a bunch of
> magaines stashed between rocks near a creek. That
> was pretty good too. I snuck back a week later, I
> was going to steal the whole stash and hide it in
> my room. But alas, someone else had already
> discovered the hidden treasure and took it.
>
> Woods porn was great.
What a great post! When I was a kid, we found a bag of faded out skin mags in a black trash bag in bushes near our elementary school. Took them and put them under the trap door of our small cabin we built ourselves in the woods. Wasn't quite sure what we were looking at between a woman's legs, but we sure knew we liked it.
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
Dee Tector
()
Date: June 11, 2013 11:42PM
Vexxxed Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WingNut Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Shit I never saw a real porn video until I was
> 16,
> > a few years later everyone had a VHS, but back
> in
> > the early 80's that stuff just wasn't around.
>
>
> The Byrd Theatre in Arlington.
>
> Early 70's they'd let anyone through the door that
> had $3 on them.
>
> Deep Throat came out in '72 and by '76 a friend of
> mine had a copy and was showing it on the side of
> his house almost every weekend.
I'm calling bullshit on that right there. I tried showing Star Wars on the side of my house last summer, invited all of my neighbors. 5 minutes into the film, the cops showed up and said what I was doing constituted a public showing of copyrighted material and I'd need to show them a projection license from the production company or take it down despite the fact that I wasn't charging anybody.
If you tried to show "Deep Throat" on the side of a house...in 1976...in American...not somewhere in the ghetto of some inner-city shithole? Your ass would be in the hoosegow and it'd been all over the news.
-------------------------------------------------------
> WingNut Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Shit I never saw a real porn video until I was
> 16,
> > a few years later everyone had a VHS, but back
> in
> > the early 80's that stuff just wasn't around.
>
>
> The Byrd Theatre in Arlington.
>
> Early 70's they'd let anyone through the door that
> had $3 on them.
>
> Deep Throat came out in '72 and by '76 a friend of
> mine had a copy and was showing it on the side of
> his house almost every weekend.
I'm calling bullshit on that right there. I tried showing Star Wars on the side of my house last summer, invited all of my neighbors. 5 minutes into the film, the cops showed up and said what I was doing constituted a public showing of copyrighted material and I'd need to show them a projection license from the production company or take it down despite the fact that I wasn't charging anybody.
If you tried to show "Deep Throat" on the side of a house...in 1976...in American...not somewhere in the ghetto of some inner-city shithole? Your ass would be in the hoosegow and it'd been all over the news.
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
Viennese Sausage
()
Date: June 12, 2013 12:19AM
i Went to Book N Card before they closed and looked Big 'Uns and all the other mags.
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
Vexxxed
()
Date: June 12, 2013 06:04AM
Dee Tector Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Vexxxed Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > WingNut Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Shit I never saw a real porn video until I
> was
> > 16,
> > > a few years later everyone had a VHS, but
> back
> > in
> > > the early 80's that stuff just wasn't around.
> >
> >
> > The Byrd Theatre in Arlington.
> >
> > Early 70's they'd let anyone through the door
> that
> > had $3 on them.
> >
> > Deep Throat came out in '72 and by '76 a friend
> of
> > mine had a copy and was showing it on the side
> of
> > his house almost every weekend.
>
> I'm calling bullshit on that right there. I tried
> showing Star Wars on the side of my house last
> summer, invited all of my neighbors. 5 minutes
> into the film, the cops showed up and said what I
> was doing constituted a public showing of
> copyrighted material and I'd need to show them a
> projection license from the production company or
> take it down despite the fact that I wasn't
> charging anybody.
>
> If you tried to show "Deep Throat" on the side of
> a house...in 1976...in American...not somewhere in
> the ghetto of some inner-city shithole? Your ass
> would be in the hoosegow and it'd been all over
> the news.
You do realize that not everyone in Fairfax County lives in a McMansion in each others back yards, yes?
-------------------------------------------------------
> Vexxxed Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > WingNut Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Shit I never saw a real porn video until I
> was
> > 16,
> > > a few years later everyone had a VHS, but
> back
> > in
> > > the early 80's that stuff just wasn't around.
> >
> >
> > The Byrd Theatre in Arlington.
> >
> > Early 70's they'd let anyone through the door
> that
> > had $3 on them.
> >
> > Deep Throat came out in '72 and by '76 a friend
> of
> > mine had a copy and was showing it on the side
> of
> > his house almost every weekend.
>
> I'm calling bullshit on that right there. I tried
> showing Star Wars on the side of my house last
> summer, invited all of my neighbors. 5 minutes
> into the film, the cops showed up and said what I
> was doing constituted a public showing of
> copyrighted material and I'd need to show them a
> projection license from the production company or
> take it down despite the fact that I wasn't
> charging anybody.
>
> If you tried to show "Deep Throat" on the side of
> a house...in 1976...in American...not somewhere in
> the ghetto of some inner-city shithole? Your ass
> would be in the hoosegow and it'd been all over
> the news.
You do realize that not everyone in Fairfax County lives in a McMansion in each others back yards, yes?
Re: Dad's Porn
Posted by:
fairfaxpussies
()
Date: June 12, 2013 09:12AM
Dee Tector Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Vexxxed Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > WingNut Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Shit I never saw a real porn video until I
> was
> > 16,
> > > a few years later everyone had a VHS, but
> back
> > in
> > > the early 80's that stuff just wasn't around.
> >
> >
> > The Byrd Theatre in Arlington.
> >
> > Early 70's they'd let anyone through the door
> that
> > had $3 on them.
> >
> > Deep Throat came out in '72 and by '76 a friend
> of
> > mine had a copy and was showing it on the side
> of
> > his house almost every weekend.
>
> I'm calling bullshit on that right there. I tried
> showing Star Wars on the side of my house last
> summer, invited all of my neighbors. 5 minutes
> into the film, the cops showed up and said what I
> was doing constituted a public showing of
> copyrighted material and I'd need to show them a
> projection license from the production company or
> take it down despite the fact that I wasn't
> charging anybody.
>
> If you tried to show "Deep Throat" on the side of
> a house...in 1976...in American...not somewhere in
> the ghetto of some inner-city shithole? Your ass
> would be in the hoosegow and it'd been all over
> the news.
In 1976 people could give a fuck about copyrights... that's largely a post-Napster concern. Not sure how people would react to decency laws... but pretty sure if the neighbors were cool with it no one gave a fuck. Times were different, not everyone was a narcissistic little snooping fuckface snitch like now.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Vexxxed Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > WingNut Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Shit I never saw a real porn video until I
> was
> > 16,
> > > a few years later everyone had a VHS, but
> back
> > in
> > > the early 80's that stuff just wasn't around.
> >
> >
> > The Byrd Theatre in Arlington.
> >
> > Early 70's they'd let anyone through the door
> that
> > had $3 on them.
> >
> > Deep Throat came out in '72 and by '76 a friend
> of
> > mine had a copy and was showing it on the side
> of
> > his house almost every weekend.
>
> I'm calling bullshit on that right there. I tried
> showing Star Wars on the side of my house last
> summer, invited all of my neighbors. 5 minutes
> into the film, the cops showed up and said what I
> was doing constituted a public showing of
> copyrighted material and I'd need to show them a
> projection license from the production company or
> take it down despite the fact that I wasn't
> charging anybody.
>
> If you tried to show "Deep Throat" on the side of
> a house...in 1976...in American...not somewhere in
> the ghetto of some inner-city shithole? Your ass
> would be in the hoosegow and it'd been all over
> the news.
In 1976 people could give a fuck about copyrights... that's largely a post-Napster concern. Not sure how people would react to decency laws... but pretty sure if the neighbors were cool with it no one gave a fuck. Times were different, not everyone was a narcissistic little snooping fuckface snitch like now.