Can some who is familiar with the law answer this without joking around.

Two Sundays ago I was in church when someone behind me let out a very loud fart. The minister even stopped the service. An usher came up and asked me to come to the rear of the church. At the time there were four 14-16 year old guys right behind me all stone faced. The usher asked me for MY name even though I had nothing to do with it and said it was against Virginia law to fart in church. I left the church.

I called Fairfax County an officer said he’d never heard of such a law but said that there are still some antiquated laws that are still on the books and told me not to worry about it.

Farting cannot be legally quantified and there's nothing in the VA Administrative Code about it. Spitting on the sidewalk can be quantified and is codified, but a fart?

What if it's silent? It's air leaving the body, just like exhaling. Even shitting your pants isn't technically illegal as long as you don't leave any biscuit residue behind.

They could make the case that the noise itself disrupted the service, and there's probably something out there about disrupting a church service.

What kind of fart was it? A howitzer fart, a box fart, a smashed duck fart, a whistler?

johnny law Wrote:
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> What kind of fart was it? A howitzer fart, a box
> fart, a smashed duck fart, a whistler?

If he got thrown out of church it was almost definitely a rambling phadooka. Or an electric fart (that's a fart with a lot of "juice" in it).

johnny law Wrote:
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> Farting cannot be legally quantified and there's
> nothing in the VA Administrative Code about it.
> Spitting on the sidewalk can be quantified and is
> codified, but a fart?
>
> What if it's silent? It's air leaving the body,
> just like exhaling. Even shitting your pants
> isn't technically illegal as long as you don't
> leave any biscuit residue behind.
>
> They could make the case that the noise itself
> disrupted the service, and there's probably
> something out there about disrupting a church
> service.
>
> What kind of fart was it? A howitzer fart, a box
> fart, a smashed duck fart, a whistler?

More like a tearing ripping kind. Like preened up a wooden pew.

This is bullshit. You fart all you want. They can’t do shit.

No worries. Let ‘er rip!!!

I was in the grocery store a few weeks ago on a weekday and heard a jailbreak fart from the next aisle over. I turned the corner pretty quickly to see who dealt it and there was a pretty hot chick in her 30s standing there. Didn't know what to make of the whole scene but that was one helluva fart.

I like to eat at Tippys Taco before I go to church, then not only do I fart in church, I poop on the pews.

Farting on a wooden church pew is probably the penultimate farting experience. Farting into the air just makes your sphincter and butt cheeks vibrate...nice but no drama. Farting onto a seat cushion is like sneezing into pillow...a total waste. But farting onto a wooden pew adds reverb and bass to what is otherwise just a puff of stanky air. Further the pungent puff is distributed up and out in all directions. The success of your fart is measured by how quickly those seated next to you scoot away, how many seated behind you snap back their heads and how many seated in front of you turn around with looks of revulsion. Finally if the priest hears it at the altar and glares at you, you've earned the Farting Oscar!

I've always found that farting on a folding metal chair gets amplified really well too.

Cracking farts on the McDonald's plastic booth seats has been a longtime favorite amongst buddies from high school and college. Customer reaction was hilarious. Haven't done it in decades but still makes us laught at the past when we get together.

Confucius say man who fart in church sits in own pew.

Ok fine. Funny. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me with some authority that the act is or not against the law.

Ok fine. Funny. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me with some authority that the act is or not against the law.

Ok fine. Funny. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me with some authority that the act is or not against the law.

It's assault. Basically, all those farticles that were in your ass are now in people's heads. That's assault.

You shouldn't be farting in a pandemic. I hope they give you the chair. If you do, plz no fart in it.

my gay net stalker imposter, the post above this one, just won't quit.....nor will eye...

faggot

click the screen names in blue to cee the two different accounts
Attachments:

Taylor Perkins Wrote:
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> Ok fine. Funny. I’m still waiting for someone to
> tell me with some authority that the act is or not
> against the law.


Did you miss the second post from johnny law?

I mean... you're on a goddamn anonymous internet forum. That's about as authoritative as it's gonna get. Maybe if you're dumb enough to believe it was "illegal" in the first place then you're too dumb to know when someone has answered your question.

I may be a gay retard, but even I know you can't fart in church.

It’s ok to fart in my church, but to make up for your sin you must let me have my way with your wife or daughter.

OK, but my wife and daughter both don't just fart, the fucking BEEF.

the real GeneraI Mahdi Wrote:
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> OK, but my wife and daughter both don't just fart,
> the fucking BEEF.


I don’t want your wife because your wife is a man, baby.

Shows what you know, I only fuck goats.

lol lol!

the real GeneraI Mahdi Wrote:
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> Shows what you know, I only fuck goats.


Yeah, male goats

Good Vibrations Wrote:
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> Farting on a wooden church pew is probably the
> penultimate farting experience. Farting into the
> air just makes your sphincter and butt cheeks
> vibrate...nice but no drama. Farting onto a seat
> cushion is like sneezing into pillow...a total
> waste. But farting onto a wooden pew adds reverb
> and bass to what is otherwise just a puff of
> stanky air. Further the pungent puff is
> distributed up and out in all directions. The
> success of your fart is measured by how quickly
> those seated next to you scoot away, how many
> seated behind you snap back their heads and how
> many seated in front of you turn around with looks
> of revulsion. Finally if the priest hears it at
> the altar and glares at you, you've earned the
> Farting Oscar!

You, my good man, are the Shakespeare of stink, the Frost of flatulence, and Poe of pungency. Your description of farting should be in the encyclopedia and used by scientists to apply for and receive grants from the Department of HHS. I am going to have the first sentence of your treatise tattooed on my chest. Well done, very very well done.

Of course it is not against the law to fart in church. It’s not against canon law either. God created farts. If He didn’t want us to fart, he wouldn’t have done that. Plus, Joe Biden shit himself in front of the pope, and nothing happened to him

If god didn’t want us to fart, he wouldn’t have invented beans.

Gerrymanderer2 (G2, the OP original poster or spammer just above, perhaps both) posts several lies on ffu daily - many think he's a fx co gov worker who is getting paid to do it for false DNC democrat "advertising". He floods ffu with useless posts to bump down major news, demoralize americans. G2 posts fecal matter, mutilated bodies, child porn, foreign drug ads and sneaker ads, tells people to kill themselves and government should seize them and put them on psych pills in prison without a trial - decided by DNC democrats gov workers, promotes kangaroo courthouse trials, gives anti-religious rants, gives satanic ritual rants, posts black males with large dicks on white young females, portends white low birth rate and fall of USA whites, suggestive of food tampering/poisoning to solve the white problem, and anything possible to demoralize any americans on ffu - all of which are fake news he never responds to proofs it is fake. (perhaps g2 is a chinese prisoner or isis member - but definitely knowledgeable of fx co gov from the inside at times). The website operator has told him "not to post or return" (in an existing post by the sysop): not because of a political leaning but for continual illegal and gross spam along with messages that are only to demoralize if not kill others. G2 plays at financial terrorism as well; continually reporting fake and false financial data. G2 fakes emergency pleas to deaden the real response to any real one - like a devil. G2 continually spams FFU - which all users complain of: it is a real DoS attack - the attacks are not just topic bumps but designed to inject key words to kill ffu and google search results. G2 continually promotes drug use, alcoholic experimentation, and tries to convince members to meet hookers using photos from the 1990's (i doubt any that did are not arrested or dead). G2 continually posts racist posts and gay posts egging others to comment - then attacks who does - AND RECORDS IT (likely for political extortion). G2 and dems MONITOR AND RECORD* "conservatives who blast out these democrat lies and illegal abuse of telephone privilege (sometimes in a raw manner, being so jaded by the job)" (users who object to G2's actions listed so far). One ffu member discovered a south american country recording FFU databasing all posts in a non-chat database format - and when questioned - another member quickly said it was all coincidence and that this was done everywhere in the world on all sites: WHICH IS A LIE. Not all countries record the every word of what fairfaxians say on blogs. Extortion is also mentioned by G2. And the idea he's fishing for comments he can use against anyone who'd run for office is "just assume he's in that business" - and i've warned others that is what he fishes for - excuses to attack conservatives and or to extort them.

SOME POSTERS ON FFU FEEL G2 IS A JOKER: I ASSURE YOU THE ABOVE COMPLAINTS ARE GENUINELY A THREAT TO ONLOOKERS (THE UN-INTIATED), NON-DEMOCRATS, AND TO ANYONE STATING THAT LAWS SHOULD BE IMPOSED ON DEMOCRATS EQUALLY AS DEMOCRATS IMPOSE THEM ON OTHERS: MONEY

LEGAL NOTICE: DEMOCRATS HAVE `SWATTED' THE HOMES OF SOME FFU POSTS WHO REFUTE G2 AND CALL DEMS OUT ON THEFT AND LIES - AND EXPOSE THE LAWS THEY COULD BE PROSECUTED FOR BREACH OF TRUST. THAT'S A CONFIRMED WITNESSED FACT. IT IS NO JOKE WHAT G2 IS DOING. HIS CONTINUAL FISHING IS NOT IDLE - THEY ARE TRIGGERED AND ARMED. which i've warned others about since, about 2010 - that G2 is fishing for men to "erase" politically, by any means available to him


G2 has now been wimpering that anti-G2 posts are "unfair" and that users who protest G2 should be blocked, SWATTED (see above), and forced on medications (see above), and that "someone else is G2". However - do not let the vicious foreign attacker fool you into your death our out of your community: G2 has been active since exactly the beginning of 2017 "hillary has already won the election" set of lies and has only DOUBLED spam recently - yes the suicide taunting of others, false information, and all else listed above. He is not wimpering for help he has doubled the spam and vicious attacks (or they, communist/facist using federal money. I pinned him correctly when I began this warning post.

GO BACK TO HELL G2. YOU ARE EXPOSED.

DROP DEAD G2

----------------------------------

the only joke is that Fairfax county pays G2 and he's not deported

take your spam, your irreverance - and drop dead

I love to fart.

I love smelling farts

Big sniffer Wrote:
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> I love smelling farts


I thought I was the only one. I love to smell girl farts.

I’m going to throw up…

Bart Adkins Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Big sniffer Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I love smelling farts
>
>
> I thought I was the only one. I love to smell girl
> farts.

Big girl farts smell the best.

I farted when my girlfriend was blowing me. She broke up with me. Now I have to masturbate