OK i will give a somewhat serious answer since I am in a good mood and my coffee is almost ready.
Get your CDL and drive a truck. Or a school/metro/connector/cue bus and be home every night. Most large Over the Road companies (think swift, schneider those big orange trucks, etc) offer free training if you can make it out to their facility in bumfuck USA but you leave with a job with the company and your CDL if you pass. Do your year or 2 then move on to better pay/loads.
Trade School (welding, plumbing, electrician, etc). check with the union halls, most have some kind of free training program (example-
http://www.ibewlocal26.org/training-programs/how-to-apply.html Local 26 Brotherhood of Electricians.
Open your own business- what is your hobby and how can you make money off of it?
Go to the oilfields of North Dakota Texas or wherever it is they struck oil/natural gas at and have those boom towns with jobs galore, you will make bank but the spot can go dry quick so if you are in decent shape and don't mind manual labor and can move on a moments notice....
Try to get approved for SSDI and live off of <$1k/month and move to a super low cost of living area. Or live with your parents for the rest of your life.
I mean, we are on FfxU.