Fairfax County General :
Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
i do i already pay 1500 a month, i get her on the weekends cause momma wants to go drinking, i have no problem paying child support,what i have a problem with is paying for her bar tab!
i was thinking that, she tried to pick her up after she had drank a bunch i thought that i would call the police on her but i decided to drive my daughter home cause didnt want her to get hurt!and a pi cost alot of $$$ that i dont have cause she already takes 65% of my check
Does she not work, or do you make a shit pile of money? That's a ridiculously high child support payment for one child. Virginia has a very straightforward approach to calculating child support. You can use AllLaw's calculator, or go directly to the state's calculator, or get a lawyer!
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Being vague is almost as fun as that other thing.
ITRADE Wrote:
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> so the car you hit, did you kill the occupants?
I think you're jumping to unfair assumptions!!!!
It's quite possible that in his drunken rage, he only injured another motorist. It is also possible that another car wasn't involved at all. Maybe his victims were pedestrians or family members.
Funky..it's pretty simple. Like Melissa said, Virginia has a straight-forward calculation on what is to be paid out based on income and expenses. Is the entire lot for child support or is alimony invovled? My buddy just split up with his slacker wife, and well, he is just realizing it was a mistake to leave before she found a job.
Get your baby momma a job and that will change how much you pay out.
Or, if you can prove that your child is in danger or there is gross negligence by the BM, then maybe you can get custody and child support from her! Good luck proving that as the courts in VA seem to be very pro-mother. Having fun paying the lawyer fees too.
Otherwise, you've got to accept that you chose to bang it out and have a kid. Just have to deal with the responsibilities. Even if it helps pay for her bar tab. Does it suck? Absolutely.
I have two kids, make decent scratch even for this area, and came in around $1200. I actually feel better about bailing now if I wanted to, not bad and may actually be worth it for buying off my headaches
$1500/month does sound high, but no one can live on even that amount. She must be getting additional support somewhere. Regardless, you ask how much they can "take" and that she gets 65% of your check ... are your wages being garnished? If yes, it sounds like someone needs to reexamine the formula that is being used. (if no child support agreement exists)
Even if a child support agreement exists, it can be re-examined based on change of circumstance. As soon as my daughter started Kindergarten, my ex filed for a child support reduction, which was totally fair since day care costs went from $1,000 a month to $270 at the time of his filing. What sucked for me is that my free after school care got a new job and was unable to pick up my daughter those two days a week that I needed, so I had to get another after school provider which cost me an additional $400 a month that was not equated into the support. It was only for 8 months, though, so no big deal.
To the OP, how old is your child? If school age, there is no reason why the mother can't work. You can contact legal services at the Fairfax County court house and get a consultation for $40.
Trying to get full custody is next to impossible, and if the only thing you have is that the mother goes out drinking when you have your child, that's no going to fly, nor would it be in the best interests of the child.
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Being vague is almost as fun as that other thing.
Gravis Wrote:
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> whatever, people who have kids then get divorced
> should be put down.
I don't know which would be worse. Having parents who are divorced. Or living in a house where parents who hate each other are constantly at each others throats. If a divorce results in a tolerable living arrangement, I would think that could be better.
MrMephisto Wrote:
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> Personally, I'd start with the people who have
> kids without getting married, and work my way up
> from there.
You mean like the chick whose only child's father was stabbed outside of Kilroy's?
WashingTone Locian Wrote:
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> Or living in a house where
> parents who hate each other are constantly at each
> others throats.
That's what I went through, and I think it explains some of my issues.
WashingTone Locian Wrote:
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> MrMephisto Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Personally, I'd start with the people who have
> > kids without getting married, and work my way
> up
> > from there.
>
>
> You mean like the chick whose only child's father
> was stabbed outside of Kilroy's?
WashingTone Locian Wrote:
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> MrMephisto Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Personally, I'd start with the people who have
> > kids without getting married, and work my way
> up
> > from there.
>
>
> You mean like the chick whose only child's father
> was stabbed outside of Kilroy's?
Gravis Wrote:
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> MrMephisto Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The kids, or the parents?
>
>
> both.
I disagree. My parents remained friends after they divorced, and my relationship with my father greatly improved. He was a drunk dick when he lived with us. My mom even went to his second wedding. My ex and I remain friends. Divorce isn't always a bad thing. Especially when everyone acts like a grown up.
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Being vague is almost as fun as that other thing.
Melissa Wrote:
-
> I disagree. My parents remained friends after
> they divorced, and my relationship with my father
> greatly improved. He was a drunk dick when he
> lived with us. My mom even went to his second
> wedding. My ex and I remain friends. Divorce
> isn't always a bad thing. Especially when
> everyone acts like a grown up.
While I commend you on acting like a grown up and maintaining a good relationship with your ex, those two examples are generally the exception rather than the rule.
EDIT (Addition): What really pisses me off is when the parents use their kids as fodder in their petty games.
__________________________________ That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/08/2009 12:18PM by Warhawk.
Warhawk Wrote:
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> Melissa Wrote:
> -
> > I disagree. My parents remained friends after
> > they divorced, and my relationship with my
> father
> > greatly improved. He was a drunk dick when he
> > lived with us. My mom even went to his second
> > wedding. My ex and I remain friends. Divorce
> > isn't always a bad thing. Especially when
> > everyone acts like a grown up.
>
>
> While I commend you on acting like a grown up and
> maintaining a good relationship with your ex,
> those two examples are generally the exception
> rather than the rule.
>
> EDIT (Addition): What really pisses me off is
> when the parents use their kids as fodder in their
> petty games.
Warhawk Wrote:
> While I commend you on acting like a grown up and
> maintaining a good relationship with your ex,
> those two examples are generally the exception
> rather than the rule.
>
> EDIT (Addition): What really pisses me off is
> when the parents use their kids as fodder in their
> petty games.
Yeah, unfortunately you are correct. Kids should never be dragged into the middle of things. Even with my recent breakup, I told my daughter that she is loved, and it had nothing to do with her. While she heard a few things that I wish she didn't, I have not badmouthed my recent ex to her. There's no point. Too bad most others don't see it that way as it only hurts the children, not the other party of the disolved relationship.
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Being vague is almost as fun as that other thing.
WashingTone Locian Wrote:
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> MrMephisto Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Personally, I'd start with the people who have
> > kids without getting married, and work my way
> up
> > from there.
>
>
> You mean like the chick whose only child's father
> was stabbed outside of Kilroy's?
Gravis Wrote:
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> whatever, people who have kids then get divorced
> should be put down.
Hmmm....I sorta feel the same way about people who wear those goofy pants with all the zippers and shit. Although, coupled with a "TAPOUT" T-shirt, I'd settle for a new zoo exihibition.
Jusss sayin....
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I have had to change the addresses to my retaliatory blogs over half a dozen times.
When people say that it's not the kids fault - that's not entirely true. Yes the anger is between the husband and wife but it's because the kids have stressed the marriage so much that the resentment is overpowering. It's not the kids' fault they were born but the reason for the anger is because the two dummy parents can't get along.
Unless someone is getting abused, divorce is kind of a cop out. You're leaving because you want more time for yourself. Or because you're a woman and you think getting child support and alimony is better than asking your husband for money every week.
Really? Wrote:
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> When people say that it's not the kids fault -
> that's not entirely true. Yes the anger is
> between the husband and wife but it's because the
> kids have stressed the marriage so much that the
> resentment is overpowering. It's not the kids'
> fault they were born but the reason for the anger
> is because the two dummy parents can't get along.
Oh. My. God.
__________________________________ That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/09/2009 12:31PM by Warhawk.
fairfaxdude Wrote:
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> Wow, Really, that was truly insightful.
>
> I'm way dumber now for having read that. Thanks.
Redial Wrote:
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> Really? Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Tell me how I'm wrong.
>
> Blaming the child for relationship problems is
> petty and harmful to the child's upbringing.
Really? Wrote:
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>
> Unless someone is getting abused, divorce is kind
> of a cop out.
So, when your wife "accidentally" gives you genital warts, are you going to stay with her instead of copping-out and getting a divorce? LOL...let us know how that goes.
Putting fault on the kids for the marriage failing...well thought out. Please, keep the insight coming.
fagdude Wrote:
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> fairfaxdude Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Wow, Really, that was truly insightful.
> >
> > I'm way dumber now for having read that.
> Thanks.
>
>
> You were already an idiot.
ZING!
"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."