Survivor Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Survivor Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Bottom Line Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > It's probably asking too much, but could even
> > one
> > > family of a suicide victim publicize the
> "why"
> > of
> > > the act? It might facilitate discussions
> that
> > > could prevent a future one. You never hear
> > > anything about the "why" aspect of suicides.
> > Was
> > > the person depressed? Gay? Isolated? On
> > drugs?
> > > Family problems? Bullying? Failed a test?
> > > Rejected from Harvard? While it's certainly
> > > extremely painful, it'd be nice if families
> > were
> > > willing to share so others might learn and
> save
> > > some other life.
> >
> > I'll bite. My brother died by suicide. He had
> a
> > lot of pressure in his life - an unstable and
> > verbally abusive wife, money challenges, a very
> > needy and difficult elderly mother, a stressful
> > job, a new baby. But he didn't die because of
> > these pressures. He died because of the
> disease
> > of bipolar disorder, which, for lack of a
> better
> > explanation, had been in remission for many
> years.
> > When his symptoms were under control, he could
> > manage all of those external pressures and find
> > the joy and satisfaction in life. But then his
> > brain went haywire and he really wasn't
> thinking
> > rationally or acting predictably at all. He
> went
> > through a phase of classic mania followed by
> weeks
> > of depression, but then he seemed to be pulling
> > himself out of the depression and functioning
> > again. But it turned out he was in a "mixed
> > manic" state -- irrationally impulsive and
> > overwhelmingly despairing. He was a planner and
> a
> > meticulous "to do" list keeper and a writer,
> but
> > he made no plan and he left no note. He just
> shot
> > himself. I truly believe he had no long term
> > intention to die - his brain just went haywire
> and
> > he lacked the brain power to stop himself from
> > following a fleeting impulse to kill himself.
> >
> > In every case of death by suicide that I am
> > personally familiar with, the victim actually
> died
> > from either the disease of depression or the
> > disease of bipolar disorder, both medical
> > conditions that can be treatable but are
> difficult
> > to treat, especially with such a stigma against
> > mental illness. It is easy to blame stress or
> > cruel people (my brother's life was made
> miserable
> > at times by both), but my brother was a strong
> and
> > good man who - when mentally healthy - was able
> to
> > deal with those stressors. It was the disease
> > that killed him. I don't blame them for his
> > death, but I do blame them for making his life
> > miserable at times.
> >
> > Condolences to Jack Chen's friends and family.
>
> >
> >
>
http://www.afsp.org/preventing-suicide/find-help
>
> To follow up, since you asked about what people
> can do to help - decreasing the stigma about
> mental illness is a huge thing. My brother did
> not want people to know that he had bipolar
> disorder; he felt acutely the stigma against
> people taking medication for mental illnesses and
> saw it as a weakness. Medicine would have saved
> his life, at least for a while, as it did in his
> 20's.
>
> We also need major changes in medical treatment
> for mental illness. We tried to get my brother
> held twice for being a risk to himself, but he was
> discharged shortly after being admitted. If they
> were able to hold him for 72 hours, he might have
> stabilized enough to be convinced to try
> medication again. But he saw such shame and
> defeat in it that he refused. If he was in his
> right mind, he would have known that medicine was
> preferable to death -- he knew that for most of
> his adult life, while his brain was functioning
> properly. But just as a kidney can go haywire, so
> can the brain, and I wish medical professionals
> and family members had more leeway in treating
> people whose diseased brains think they don't need
> treatment.
Thanks for your post. I'm sure some idiots will respond in ways meant to be offensive, which makes your willingness to share all the more touching.