eesh Wrote:
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... but eesh left off the instructions for use. Sheesh. You could get someone hurt, eesh!
Hoping to ensure comrades who are afflicted with "tl:dr" syndrome won't injure themselves or their partners, here's a summary of much of the important information from the detailed instructions in the Glorious Leader's Red Book, pages 633 through 637. (Also see the exercises scattered throughout pages 1321 and 1403.)
And re(publican)tards, the pictured pistol is only available to sworn-in Party Members. Your death-delivering killing machines-pistols and rifles and shotguns-are all you can have, until we can figure out a way to ban them.
From page 633:
"This Prostho-Peni-Pistol (P3, spoken "P cubed) is approved for use only by adult members of the Democrat Party. (See page 1347 for how to use the Self-Actualizing-Self-Actuating-Nirvana-Ticket, the Party-approved captured-bolt-pistol from which the Prostho-Peni-Pistol was designed.)"
(Translation for FU fellow travelers: Be very careful not to use the Self-Actualizing-Self-Actuating-Nirvana-Ticket if you're practicing fellatio techniques. Otherwise, you could knock out your front teeth!)
From page 635:
"Do not lube the prosthetic penis until it has been loaded into the Prostho-Peni-Pistol. Too much lube on the shaft of the prosthetic penis within the 'barrel' of the P3 could cause a misfire."
(Translation for FU fellow travelers: If your current session with the prosthetic penis has included manual insertion into your partner's rectum, then carefully wipe off all butterscotch pudding, and any residual lubricant, from the ENTIRE shaft, before loading your Prostho-Peni-Pistol.)
From page 637:
"WARNING. If the anal sphincter of the recipient of a fired P3 projectile is too relaxed or stretched out, the prosthetic penis may penetrate so deeply that it is difficult to digitally remove. In such case, CAREFUL use of pliers (especially channel-locking style) and/or laxatives can help."
(Translation for FU fellow travelers: If the prosthetic penis becomes lodged in your partner's anus, it is safest to go to the emergency room for assistance. Contact your neighborhood block-warden before you go, so they can contact the block-warden responsible for the treating emergency room. If you get some snide comments from re(tard)publican medical personnel, the IRS will be notified.
HTH! Hail Glorious Leader. Down with re(tard)publican liars! Especially those that try to make mountains out of molehills, like creative immigration reform, etc. If re(tard)publicans like laws so much, then they can follow them. Party Members don't have to follow laws, unless they want to or they are useful in meeting Glorious Leader's Agenda.
(The Agenda is in an Appendix to the Glorious Leader's Red Book, and is also available to Party Members from your block-warden.)