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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
I was vacuuming in the nude, when I fell
Posted by:
betterthanyoubitch
()
Date: December 13, 2011 08:08PM
http://abcnews.go.com/m/story?id=15124289
One winter night, Dr. Melissa Barton was the attending physician in the emergency department of the Detroit Medical Center. Making her rounds, she picked up a chart for a new patient and read the woman's chief complaint: "eye in the vagina."
The patient told Barton she had been expecting a fight with some neighbors outside her house. Wearing only a sweatshirt and spandex pants, she needed somewhere to stow her prosthetic eye for safe-keeping.
"Those things are pretty expensive and hard to replace," Barton said. "So that's where it went, along with her driver's license."
Unfortunately, it got stuck.
Dr. Gary Vilke, a professor of clinical emergency medicine at the University of California San Diego Medical Center, saw a patient who had four Barbie doll heads stuck in his rectum.
"When you looked at his x-ray, they were looking at you, like a totem pole," Vilke said.
Check out other odd X-rays
Ask a handful of emergency medicine specialists about cases like these, and you'll get a cascade of stories about patients with strange objects ingested or inserted in unlikely places. Vegetables, light bulbs, tools, even cell phones and reading glasses have wound up illuminated on x-rays or described on medical charts in U.S. emergency departments.
For many unlucky patients, an inserted or ingested foreign object is the result of a one-in-a-million accident or a single bout of bad judgment or curiosity. Emergency medicine doctors say they see these patients more often than you might think.
Foreign Bodies in the Body There is little data detailing just how many patients wind up in U.S. emergency departments with objects stuck in their orifices, but doctors say it happens pretty frequently.
"There's usually a good story every week or two, everything from the unique to the bizarre to the gross," said Vilke, who has practiced emergency medicine for 20 years.
Dr. Rich Dreben, Dr. Murdoc Knight and Dr. Marty Sindhian have heard enough of these stories to fill an entire book, called "Stuck Up! 100 Objects Inserted and Ingested in Places They Shouldn't Be." The three were classmates in medical school and became fascinated by the sheer number of patients they saw who came to the hospital with these problems.
"As a medical student, these cases actually helped me learn a lot about human anatomy, biology and the doctor-patient relationship," said Dreben, who is now a psychiatrist in California. "These patients really stuck with us. I guess that's a poor choice of words."
Patients with lodged foreign objects usually fall into three categories: those who swallow the objects, those who get things stuck accidentally (think cockroaches crawling into someone's ear while he sleeps), and those who intentionally insert items into their vaginas or rectums – and can't get them out.
When it comes to swallowed objects, children age 4 and younger account for 75 percent of the cases that doctors treat. On the flip side, patients with objects stuck in the rectum are more likely to be between ages 20 and 40, and far more likely to be male. Some studies have found that men are 28 times more likely to insert objects up their backsides than women are.
"I think the most common objects I've seen are vegetables," Knight said. "I've never been able to figure that one out."
Why Do People Do It? Many patients are reluctant to tell emergency doctors and nurses just how a beer bottle or a pair of nail clippers wound up stuck inside their bodies. Dreben said he's heard one excuse after another.
"Some of my favorite excuses all involve someone who was doing something in the nude," Dreben said. "'I was vacuuming in the nude, when I fell.' Usually, it's some naked activity and a resulting accident."
Generally, doctors say most vaginally or rectally lodged items are the result of an attempt at sexual gratification gone awry.
On the other hand, patients with mental illness also comprise a handful of these cases. In 2010, doctors at Rhode Island Hospital examined 305 cases of swallowed foreign objects over a period of eight years, and found that all of the cases came from the same 33 patients, 79 percent of whom had been diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder.
However, Knight emphasizes that most patients who need a doctor to remove a stuck object are not mentally ill, just curious.
"I don't think anyone purposefully wants to get something stuck inside of them," Knight said. "A lot of the patients I've spoken with said they were just curious how far they could go with the limits of their bodies. And ultimately they find it."
Medical Consequences
It's easy to laugh at an x-ray of an unimaginable item in someone's colon, but doctors emphasize that these cases can have serious medical consequences. An object that gets stuck can cut into the lining of the stomach, colon or rectum, allowing the bacteria lining the gut to filter into the bloodstream and cause an infection. If an object is sufficiently stuck, it can require surgery.
Dr. Michael West, chief of surgery at San Francisco General Hospital, said doctors deal with the patient's state of mind and emotions as much as the object they have to remove from their bodies.
"The reality is that it's probably extremely difficult, frightening and embarrassing for patients to seek medical attention, attention that they really need and sometimes delay," West said. "Trying to call the patient on an implausible story may lead to the patient's signing themselves out of ER or dangerously delaying appropriate care or trying to remove it themselves and thereby causing more damage."
No matter how or why someone gets a cell phone or a child's toy stuck inside of them, emergency department doctors emphasize that a patient's health and safety is the priority in the emergency room.
"Most people who we see are just regular people. They're working, educated people who were trying something different and it went wrong," Vilke said. "It's amazing what people will do when they're lonely or bored."
One winter night, Dr. Melissa Barton was the attending physician in the emergency department of the Detroit Medical Center. Making her rounds, she picked up a chart for a new patient and read the woman's chief complaint: "eye in the vagina."
The patient told Barton she had been expecting a fight with some neighbors outside her house. Wearing only a sweatshirt and spandex pants, she needed somewhere to stow her prosthetic eye for safe-keeping.
"Those things are pretty expensive and hard to replace," Barton said. "So that's where it went, along with her driver's license."
Unfortunately, it got stuck.
Dr. Gary Vilke, a professor of clinical emergency medicine at the University of California San Diego Medical Center, saw a patient who had four Barbie doll heads stuck in his rectum.
"When you looked at his x-ray, they were looking at you, like a totem pole," Vilke said.
Check out other odd X-rays
Ask a handful of emergency medicine specialists about cases like these, and you'll get a cascade of stories about patients with strange objects ingested or inserted in unlikely places. Vegetables, light bulbs, tools, even cell phones and reading glasses have wound up illuminated on x-rays or described on medical charts in U.S. emergency departments.
For many unlucky patients, an inserted or ingested foreign object is the result of a one-in-a-million accident or a single bout of bad judgment or curiosity. Emergency medicine doctors say they see these patients more often than you might think.
Foreign Bodies in the Body There is little data detailing just how many patients wind up in U.S. emergency departments with objects stuck in their orifices, but doctors say it happens pretty frequently.
"There's usually a good story every week or two, everything from the unique to the bizarre to the gross," said Vilke, who has practiced emergency medicine for 20 years.
Dr. Rich Dreben, Dr. Murdoc Knight and Dr. Marty Sindhian have heard enough of these stories to fill an entire book, called "Stuck Up! 100 Objects Inserted and Ingested in Places They Shouldn't Be." The three were classmates in medical school and became fascinated by the sheer number of patients they saw who came to the hospital with these problems.
"As a medical student, these cases actually helped me learn a lot about human anatomy, biology and the doctor-patient relationship," said Dreben, who is now a psychiatrist in California. "These patients really stuck with us. I guess that's a poor choice of words."
Patients with lodged foreign objects usually fall into three categories: those who swallow the objects, those who get things stuck accidentally (think cockroaches crawling into someone's ear while he sleeps), and those who intentionally insert items into their vaginas or rectums – and can't get them out.
When it comes to swallowed objects, children age 4 and younger account for 75 percent of the cases that doctors treat. On the flip side, patients with objects stuck in the rectum are more likely to be between ages 20 and 40, and far more likely to be male. Some studies have found that men are 28 times more likely to insert objects up their backsides than women are.
"I think the most common objects I've seen are vegetables," Knight said. "I've never been able to figure that one out."
Why Do People Do It? Many patients are reluctant to tell emergency doctors and nurses just how a beer bottle or a pair of nail clippers wound up stuck inside their bodies. Dreben said he's heard one excuse after another.
"Some of my favorite excuses all involve someone who was doing something in the nude," Dreben said. "'I was vacuuming in the nude, when I fell.' Usually, it's some naked activity and a resulting accident."
Generally, doctors say most vaginally or rectally lodged items are the result of an attempt at sexual gratification gone awry.
On the other hand, patients with mental illness also comprise a handful of these cases. In 2010, doctors at Rhode Island Hospital examined 305 cases of swallowed foreign objects over a period of eight years, and found that all of the cases came from the same 33 patients, 79 percent of whom had been diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder.
However, Knight emphasizes that most patients who need a doctor to remove a stuck object are not mentally ill, just curious.
"I don't think anyone purposefully wants to get something stuck inside of them," Knight said. "A lot of the patients I've spoken with said they were just curious how far they could go with the limits of their bodies. And ultimately they find it."
Medical Consequences
It's easy to laugh at an x-ray of an unimaginable item in someone's colon, but doctors emphasize that these cases can have serious medical consequences. An object that gets stuck can cut into the lining of the stomach, colon or rectum, allowing the bacteria lining the gut to filter into the bloodstream and cause an infection. If an object is sufficiently stuck, it can require surgery.
Dr. Michael West, chief of surgery at San Francisco General Hospital, said doctors deal with the patient's state of mind and emotions as much as the object they have to remove from their bodies.
"The reality is that it's probably extremely difficult, frightening and embarrassing for patients to seek medical attention, attention that they really need and sometimes delay," West said. "Trying to call the patient on an implausible story may lead to the patient's signing themselves out of ER or dangerously delaying appropriate care or trying to remove it themselves and thereby causing more damage."
No matter how or why someone gets a cell phone or a child's toy stuck inside of them, emergency department doctors emphasize that a patient's health and safety is the priority in the emergency room.
"Most people who we see are just regular people. They're working, educated people who were trying something different and it went wrong," Vilke said. "It's amazing what people will do when they're lonely or bored."
Re: I was vacuuming in the nude, when I fell
Posted by:
the grammar police
()
Date: December 13, 2011 08:10PM
this is mr. orgasm bump material.
Re: I was vacuuming in the nude, when I fell
Posted by:
Tl dr
()
Date: December 13, 2011 08:11PM
Who the fuck is gonna read this fatso? Eli don't compare this loser to Mr. OB
Re: I was vacuuming in the nude, when I fell
Posted by:
betterthanyoubitch
()
Date: December 13, 2011 08:16PM
Tl dr Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Who the fuck is gonna read this fatso? Eli don't
> compare this loser to Mr. OB
Patients with objects stuck in the rectum are more likely to be between ages 20 and 40, and far more likely to be male. Some studies have found that men are 28 times more likely to insert objects up their backsides than women are.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Who the fuck is gonna read this fatso? Eli don't
> compare this loser to Mr. OB
Patients with objects stuck in the rectum are more likely to be between ages 20 and 40, and far more likely to be male. Some studies have found that men are 28 times more likely to insert objects up their backsides than women are.
Re: I was vacuuming in the nude, when I fell
Posted by:
Troll Sniper
()
Date: December 13, 2011 08:17PM
vagina in eye?
hospital staff interested in male anatomy
Posted by:
Dr M E Pain
()
Date: July 26, 2012 09:50PM
As a male, from age 9 to 73 I have had very many hospital visits and nearly 20 surgeries,
At 12 a nurse took my temperature rectally, then proceeded to give me a bed bath for no apparent reason.
She was perhaps 20 or so, and gave lots of attention to my penis and testicles. Even at that age, I found this erotic and could (and did) produce a boner. Though I was small, she commented on it, saying it was very usual. (She seemed to know what she was talking about). She had me roll over toward her, took another swipe with the wash cloth up the insides of my legs and then had me on my stomach to clean by backside, with special attention to my anus.
That afternoon I was sent up to be prepped for the operation, and two nurses kept me nude from moments after I was in the door until nearly the time I was wheeled into the O.R. Again,my little boner was pointed directly at the ceiling, and they looked, turned away, giggled together (assuming I didn't know what about). While shaving my few pubes (with lots of warm soap and water) they gently, but at length repeatedly manipulated my manhood as if I were unaware of anything in the world about the relationship between the sexes. and
Long later I have come o know that doctors and nurses are human beings, with interest in a nude person, and sexual feelings like the rest of us. They usually play the "professional" and cover it up. But many later experiences (such as when nurses or doctors (both female and male) deal with a catheter in penis, or help me shower in the hospital, or adjust my gown, or give me a sonogram or a regular physical examination) tell me there is no doubt they like to look, to touch when they have an excuse, and let slip some little bit of a smile or ambiguous comment about sex, nudity, size, etc. Virtually every patient who has general anesthetic surgery is made nude the moment the gas takes effect. This may be for a short time or for much of the operation. Doctors enjoy having "students" watch during exams, treatments or surgeries. I once counted 18 white coated people in my routine surgery room, with no reason offered, nor responded to when I later asked the surgeon why so many were there.
With time, I have come to enjoy being nude when medical folks are looking but not supposed to be interested. If they can enjoy the sight of my nakedness, I can enjoy their circumspect glances and outright stares. Silly on both our parts, but that is the "embarrassment" our society inflicts on us.
For instance, in one doctor's office, the nurse-assistant routinely gives me (150 lbs.) paper pants which would easily fit a 350 lb. person. Then during the procedures which follow, she looks from the foot of the table while the doctor does his worst (or best).at my penis and balls for a long, long time while the doctor is otherwise occupied with the treatment.
And in this rare case, her staring at my privates is obvious to me and lasts an unusually long time--no furtive interest from her.
The most enjoyable looks come from young medical students of the opposite sex:
Once at a major Midwestern medical clinic, My intestinal system doctor discovered I have an external hemorrhoid. He soon had me positioned doggy style on a padded table and nude from head to my little toes. Each of about 15 students--more than half female--was expected to come within inches to inspect this skin-tag by my anus. Not incidentally, my penis and scrotum were far more visible, and I could several times feel the breath of the student looking "at my hemorrhoid.
Abdominal treatments, those of the boney structures in my buttocks--anything which calls for my nudity or partial nudity has a strong tendency to have nurses, aides, and others "assist." Physicians Assistants in dermatology routinely seek to examine by touching my testicles, penis, perineum and backside as well as parts exposed to the sun.
So medical people are interested in the nude body, even though they can see it often. Sex and nudity are tied in a knot in America, and to some degree even in such countries as France, which is far more permissive (and sensible) about the decency of the human form. If we did not make it "wrong" to be interested, we would all be a lot freer to enjoy our natural bodies without all the mental and fabric cover-ups.
At 12 a nurse took my temperature rectally, then proceeded to give me a bed bath for no apparent reason.
She was perhaps 20 or so, and gave lots of attention to my penis and testicles. Even at that age, I found this erotic and could (and did) produce a boner. Though I was small, she commented on it, saying it was very usual. (She seemed to know what she was talking about). She had me roll over toward her, took another swipe with the wash cloth up the insides of my legs and then had me on my stomach to clean by backside, with special attention to my anus.
That afternoon I was sent up to be prepped for the operation, and two nurses kept me nude from moments after I was in the door until nearly the time I was wheeled into the O.R. Again,my little boner was pointed directly at the ceiling, and they looked, turned away, giggled together (assuming I didn't know what about). While shaving my few pubes (with lots of warm soap and water) they gently, but at length repeatedly manipulated my manhood as if I were unaware of anything in the world about the relationship between the sexes. and
Long later I have come o know that doctors and nurses are human beings, with interest in a nude person, and sexual feelings like the rest of us. They usually play the "professional" and cover it up. But many later experiences (such as when nurses or doctors (both female and male) deal with a catheter in penis, or help me shower in the hospital, or adjust my gown, or give me a sonogram or a regular physical examination) tell me there is no doubt they like to look, to touch when they have an excuse, and let slip some little bit of a smile or ambiguous comment about sex, nudity, size, etc. Virtually every patient who has general anesthetic surgery is made nude the moment the gas takes effect. This may be for a short time or for much of the operation. Doctors enjoy having "students" watch during exams, treatments or surgeries. I once counted 18 white coated people in my routine surgery room, with no reason offered, nor responded to when I later asked the surgeon why so many were there.
With time, I have come to enjoy being nude when medical folks are looking but not supposed to be interested. If they can enjoy the sight of my nakedness, I can enjoy their circumspect glances and outright stares. Silly on both our parts, but that is the "embarrassment" our society inflicts on us.
For instance, in one doctor's office, the nurse-assistant routinely gives me (150 lbs.) paper pants which would easily fit a 350 lb. person. Then during the procedures which follow, she looks from the foot of the table while the doctor does his worst (or best).at my penis and balls for a long, long time while the doctor is otherwise occupied with the treatment.
And in this rare case, her staring at my privates is obvious to me and lasts an unusually long time--no furtive interest from her.
The most enjoyable looks come from young medical students of the opposite sex:
Once at a major Midwestern medical clinic, My intestinal system doctor discovered I have an external hemorrhoid. He soon had me positioned doggy style on a padded table and nude from head to my little toes. Each of about 15 students--more than half female--was expected to come within inches to inspect this skin-tag by my anus. Not incidentally, my penis and scrotum were far more visible, and I could several times feel the breath of the student looking "at my hemorrhoid.
Abdominal treatments, those of the boney structures in my buttocks--anything which calls for my nudity or partial nudity has a strong tendency to have nurses, aides, and others "assist." Physicians Assistants in dermatology routinely seek to examine by touching my testicles, penis, perineum and backside as well as parts exposed to the sun.
So medical people are interested in the nude body, even though they can see it often. Sex and nudity are tied in a knot in America, and to some degree even in such countries as France, which is far more permissive (and sensible) about the decency of the human form. If we did not make it "wrong" to be interested, we would all be a lot freer to enjoy our natural bodies without all the mental and fabric cover-ups.