I had a little run-in with airport security last Friday. I was in line with my shoes, laptop, jacket, bag, all neatly arranged in two plastic containers, when my travel companion noticed that our line was heading straight into the scanning device that sees through your clothes. So, we picked up our baskets and moved to another line, muttering comments like, “That will be the day I walk through one of those things… how disgusting.â€

Unfortunately, the line we moved to wasn’t any safer. This big TSA man was choosing people from the line to enter the naked body scan. I was chosen but politely declined his request, saying, no thank you, I think I’ll go through that one, pointing to the scanner without x-ray vision. The man sternly instructed me to enter the naked scanner, but I ignored him and walked up to the G-rated one. The man angrily informed me that I would now be subjected to a full body pat down. Fine, I said, but let me ask you... what alerted you to me, anyway... was it the little freckles on my nose? The man was not amused and gave me a look that said, keep it up honey and you’re going to find yourself in a room with a big table and no windows.

While undergoing my full pat down, in full view, I could hear people saying… why are they doing that to her, to which my travel companion loudly answered... because she wouldn’t go through the full body scan that sees through your clothes. Other women started saying... I don’t want to go through that machine, either. So, a big man was sent out to SPEAK to my companion and keep her quiet until it could be determined that I was not, in fact, a terrorist. When no bombs or lethal devices were discovered on my body and no chemical residue was found on my feet or hands, we were released from custody and permitted to continue on our journey.

Strangely enough, while having lunch in one of the airport restaurants, I, a suspected terrorist, was given a knife with a sharp serrated edge. I waved it around in the air for a moment, just in case security cameras were aimed in my direction.

You stole this story from Jim Florentine on the Howard Stern Show.

but did they check your boobs?

Eastsider Wrote:
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> You stole this story from Jim Florentine on the
> Howard Stern Show.

The only thing I ever stole was a pack of gum when I was 10.

And, I returned it!

bloody blisters Wrote:
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> but did they check your boobs?

yes they did.. but they did it correctly, with palms facing down.

LOL @ this. Before conducting the pat down, the agent first asked me.... do you have any sensitive areas?

I looked at her and said, you're kidding me, right?

Alias Wrote:
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> I had a little run-in with airport security last
> Friday. I was in line with my shoes, laptop,
> jacket, bag, all neatly arranged in two plastic
> containers, when my travel companion noticed that
> our line was heading straight into the scanning
> device that sees through your clothes. So, we
> picked up our baskets and moved to another line,
> muttering comments like, “That will be the day I
> walk through one of those things… how
> disgusting.â€
>
> Unfortunately, the line we moved to wasn’t any
> safer. This big TSA man was choosing people from
> the line to enter the naked body scan. I was
> chosen but politely declined his request, saying,
> no thank you, I think I’ll go through that one,
> pointing to the scanner without x-ray vision. The
> man sternly instructed me to enter the naked
> scanner, but I ignored him and walked up to the
> G-rated one. The man angrily informed me that I
> would now be subjected to a full body pat down.
> Fine, I said, but let me ask you... what alerted
> you to me, anyway... was it the little freckles on
> my nose? The man was not amused and gave me a
> look that said, keep it up honey and you’re
> going to find yourself in a room with a big table
> and no windows.
>
> While undergoing my full pat down, in full view,
> I could hear people saying… why are they doing
> that to her, to which my travel companion loudly
> answered... because she wouldn’t go through the
> full body scan that sees through your clothes.
> Other women started saying... I don’t want to go
> through that machine, either. So, a big man was
> sent out to SPEAK to my companion and keep her
> quiet until it could be determined that I was not,
> in fact, a terrorist. When no bombs or lethal
> devices were discovered on my body and no chemical
> residue was found on my feet or hands, we were
> released from custody and permitted to continue on
> our journey.
>
> Strangely enough, while having lunch in one of
> the airport restaurants, I, a suspected terrorist,
> was given a knife with a sharp serrated edge. I
> waved it around in the air for a moment, just in
> case security cameras were aimed in my direction.
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eesh Wrote:
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> Alias is making this shit up.

eesh, by now, you should know that I'm capable of creating a little scene, here and there... of course, always with a smile.

Call BWI and ask to speak to the big black TSA agent with the napoleonic complex. (apparently, something wasn't big)

If they ask you to be more specific, mention that he had what looked like a gold tooth.

When the big little prick gets on the phone, ask him about the two white women who closed down a security line for approximately 15 minutes on the morning of October 1, 2010.

Funny, but when I told my family... at a wedding, on Saturday... no one doubted the story. What they did say was that they'd never travel with me again.

(but, that's a lie. they'd probably just pretend not to know me.)

Pictures or GTFO

Hmm. I'll make sure I'm warm and fluffed before going through BWI security.

Who cares?? It's people like you who cause all the damn delays at the airport. It was a random search, so just freaking do it!! Those TSA goons are just doing their job.

So another words you have fucking ugly body.

I would be suspicious of Alias too if she was about to fly.


Recent Alias pic:
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like2eat@theY Wrote:
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> Who cares?? It's people like you who cause all
> the damn delays at the airport. It was a random
> search, so just freaking do it!! Those TSA goons
> are just doing their job.

You probably enjoy the thought of a TSA agent looking at your penis.
Attachments:

Alias Wrote:
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>
> You probably enjoy the thought of a TSA agent
> looking at your penis.


meade?

The whole "security" thing at the airport is fairly pathetic and a major time waster. They ask those questions...does anyone really answer "yes" to them. Then the whole shoe off routine, no liquids bit (unless in containers of 3 oz).

Look all these things are retroactive measures. The next terrorist won't do what previous terrorists have done. So these "security" things are a complete waste of time and resources. Also, the liquid thing...a terrorist could carry multiple 3oz containers of high explosive liquids, put them together once he's passed through and - boom - bye bye airplane.

They should really do away with a lot of these backwards rules that do naught to catch any real terrorists and just inconvenience us instead.

OMG!!!!! I’m a well-endowed, curvy kind of female and when I go to the airport the last thing I need to worry about is what kind of undergarments I’m wearing. I usually wear clean lingerie, just in case I’m in an accident on the way TO the airport but I don’t want airport men looking at my unmentionables not to mention what’s inside those unmentionables... if you know I mean.

If I go to BWI and a man starts pushing me into the naked machine, I’m yelling, RAPE!

Sally Wrote:
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> OMG!!!!! I’m a well-endowed, curvy kind of
> female...






-
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eesh Wrote:
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> Picture of fat girl.


LOL eesh, but when I said curvy I meant curvy in the right places, not blubber rolling out all over town.

She’s the kind of girl that takes up two seats on an airplane. And, with that shirt she’s wearing, she’s probably like the guy who eats at the Y. She buys an airline ticket just so she can hang out in one of the sex machines.

bloody blisters Wrote:
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> Alias Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> > You probably enjoy the thought of a TSA agent
> > looking at your penis.

> meade?

Does meade like to eat at the Y?


Britdrnva~ Wrote:
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> Look all these things are retroactive measures.

According to British intelligence, Al-Qaida is implanting explosive devices into the breasts of females and the buttocks of men. If inserted correctly, these "bombs" are virtually undetectable by the airport body scan.

If a lunatic Muslim successfully explodes her boobs or his buttocks in midair, how will the TSA respond?

Will women be subjected to mammograms and/or manual breast exams by TSA agents? Will a man have to drop his boxers and bend over while an agent palpates his buttocks? Of course, the TSA doesn’t like to profile, so every breast will be viewed as a potential bomb and every ass, a potential explosion.

Alias Wrote:
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>
> Does meade like to eat at the Y?
>
>

havent the slightest. i was simply inferring that the body scan image reminded me of meade.

I believe he likes to eat @ the P.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

bloody blisters Wrote:
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> Alias Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> > Does meade like to eat at the Y?

> havent the slightest. i was simply inferring that
> the body scan image reminded me of meade.

I see what you mean. The naked guy is wearing the same watch. I wish the ears were visible.

I wonder why the machine chops off the ears, when it doesn't seem to chop off anything else... (if you know what I mean)

Look at this airport body scan of WashingToneLocian. Do you see his ears? I wonder what that thing is attached to his right leg.
Attachments:

man i hope i dont look like that via x-ray.

bloody blisters Wrote:
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> man i hope i dont look like that via x-ray.

I'm sure you don't, bloody.

That's WashingToneLocian. He's got some issues but I don't want to point out the obvious... if you know what I mean.

Alias Wrote:
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> bloody blisters Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Alias Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > > Does meade like to eat at the Y?
>
> > havent the slightest. i was simply inferring
> that
> > the body scan image reminded me of meade.
>
> I see what you mean. The naked guy is wearing the
> same watch. I wish the ears were visible.
>
> I wonder why the machine chops off the ears, when
> it doesn't seem to chop off anything else... (if
> you know what I mean)
>
> Look at this airport body scan of
> WashingToneLocian. Do you see his ears? I wonder
> what that thing is attached to his right leg.


Looks like Kermit the Frog

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> bloody blisters Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Alias Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > > Does meade like to eat at the Y?
>
> > havent the slightest. i was simply inferring
> that
> > the body scan image reminded me of meade.
>
> I see what you mean. The naked guy is wearing the
> same watch. I wish the ears were visible.
>
> I wonder why the machine chops off the ears, when
> it doesn't seem to chop off anything else... (if
> you know what I mean)
>
> Look at this airport body scan of
> WashingToneLocian. Do you see his ears? I wonder
> what that thing is attached to his right leg.

I wonder more about that third leg

Alias Wrote:
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ll > According to British intelligence, Al-Qaida is
> implanting explosive devices into the breasts of
> females and the buttocks of men. If inserted
> correctly, these "bombs" are virtually
> undetectable by the airport body scan.
>
> If a lunatic Muslim successfully explodes her
> boobs or his buttocks in midair, how will the TSA
> respond?
>
> Will women be subjected to mammograms and/or
> manual breast exams by TSA agents? Will a man
> have to drop his boxers and bend over while an
> agent palpates his buttocks? Of course, the TSA
> doesn’t like to profile, so every breast will be
> viewed as a potential bomb and every ass, a
> potential explosion.

LOL. Is this true? Can one of you fairfaxundergrounders confirm whether or not this bomb in the boob story has been accurately portrayed by Alias since eesh said she makes up things, although I'm not sure I believe eesh either since Alias has been nice to me and eesh hasn't.

But, I need to know if this IS true because I will most Definitely (with a Capital D) be targeted for one of those manual exams that Alias, the pathological liar, was describing when she was doing a high 5 with the BritDoctor.

It's not that I’m a prude or anything but I’m not having some TSA agent romp around in my upstairs area. OMG, I mean just think where that could lead. These agents are young and sexually charged so they won’t be able to control themselves. Mark my words, those hands will start wandering and before you know it, airport security will just be one giant orgy.

Sally Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> LOL. Is this true? Can one of you
> fairfaxundergrounders confirm whether or not this
> bomb in the boob story has been accurately
> portrayed by Alias since eesh said she makes up
> things, although I'm not sure I believe eesh
> either since Alias has been nice to me and eesh
> hasn't.



Alias' boobs aren't big enough to hide a Tic-Tac, much less a weapon.

Man, I'd hate for the world to find out how small my...well you know...p*nis really is!

Stunned Wrote:
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> Man, I'd hate for the world to find out how small
> my...well you know...p*nis really is!


I know eesh

eesh Wrote:
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> Alias' boobs aren't big enough to hide a Tic-Tac,
> much less a weapon.

OMG, OMG, that was funny, eesh. Alias might not be laughing but I am LOLing my head off. The fact that Alias isn’t running in here defending her womanhood is proof that she didn’t have the high school boys snapping HER bra. (if she even needed one, LOL) I bet she was one of those girls who didn’t wear makeup and was playing kick ball with the boys like she was one of them. I mean, that’s not exactly the way to attract the members of the opposite sex... boobless and running around like a boy. LOL.

If you can't even get a TSA agent interested in your bra size, you might as well call it quits. No wonder she wouldn't go through the full body scan, her boobs would show up like a couple of mosquito bites. LOL again!!!

OMG eesh, I think you and I just bonded.

Sally Wrote:
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>
> OMG eesh, I think you and I just bonded.





Whatever Rotaredom.

like2eat@theY Wrote:
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> Who cares?? It's people like you who cause all
> the damn delays at the airport. It was a random
> search, so just freaking do it!! Those TSA goons
> are just doing their job.


They always "randomly" pick the person who looks as if they'll put up the least amount of fight. It's been that way for as long as I can remember. Yeah, pull the granny out of the line, and the family with the little kids, but leave Achkbar and the illegal Mexican alone.

==================================================================================================
"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).

You have the right to ask for a pat down instead of an irradiation.

Though I don't travel much, I'd choose pat down - had them a few times at overseas airports and they're quick, efficient, and...non-irradiating...

ThePackLeader Wrote:
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> They always "randomly" pick the person who looks
> as if they'll put up the least amount of fight.

HAHA! They misjudged me. I don't know why since I hardly wear a look of... I'll go along peacefully.... on my face.

The TSA is all window dressing to make ppl feel safe. Almost everything they do is too little..too late addressing past problems. The whole back-scatter x-ray scanners thing is to deal with bombs strapped to woman's breasts (Chechan separatist blew up a Russian airliner this way). The TSA doesn't stop and search enough "random" passengers to really catch anyone.

aluminum taped to the underside of your shirt spelling out, "stop looking at my junk, you perv."

now that would be funny.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."